Building an Islamic household- Lesson 9- Marry the religious lady!- Hamam Nassereddine

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These are lessons in which we shed light on Koranic verses and narrations from Ahlul Bait (peace be upon them) that teach us the steps one should take to build an Islamic family.

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[0:28]m in our last lesson we were speaking about uh the topic

[0:55]of choosing the right wife and we said previously that greatly emphasized

[1:05]on marriage and on top of that they told us to basically

[1:10]choose the rights house so they presented advice they presented important advice

[1:19]uh for the males and for the females telling the Muslim men

[1:27]that they should choose their wives carefully and also telling the Muslim

[1:34]women that they should choose their husbands carefully so right now we're

[1:39]looking at the topic of choosing the right wife inshallah after this

[1:43]topic we'll speak about the husband choosing the right husband inshallah subhah

[1:49]wa tala last week we were talking about the narration of IM

[1:54]where he mentions that um a wife is like a necklace and

[2:01]and we explain the meaning of that tradition So today inshallah we're

[2:06]going to continue where we left off with a few other Traditions

[2:09]that speak about this topic the lesson should be uh inallah simple

[2:18]very straightforward and we're going to begin with a narration by let

[2:26]me just send it to you and then will continue where we

[2:33]left off yes about five minutes ago so the narration I just

[3:04]sent you is in for um the tradition says that the prophet

[3:13]said Sall Al he said here we find stressing on the issue

[3:33]of marrying the suitable match and again as we said in the

[3:38]introduction this is an issue that pertains to both genders males and

[3:42]females so he says firstly here he's addressing the Guardians of the

[3:52]ladies such as the father right in Islam a lady has a

[3:57]guardian um and her guardian is who her father and her grandfather

[4:05]from her father's side those are the guardians of the lady so

[4:12]when someone um seeks the hand of a particular lady in marriage

[4:17]of course uh he needs her consent she needs to approve she

[4:21]needs to be pleased with the marriage and he also needs the

[4:25]approval of her guardian provided that the lady was not married before

[4:31]or she was married but the marriage was not consummated makes sense

[4:36]so here the prophet says he's addressing the Guardians telling them that

[4:44]when when a suitable man approaches you and asks you to marry

[4:52]him his daughter to marry him your daughter uh accept his proposal

[4:58]again so long that this individual is a KU meaning he's a

[5:04]suitable match makes sense he's a suitable match for that girl or

[5:08]that lady but then the prophet continues and he says meaning he's

[5:14]telling the men to choose their wives carefully and to marry women

[5:20]who are also suitable matches for them make sense so a m

[5:28]a Believer who has good morals should look for what for a

[5:34]lady who's who's a Believer and she also has good morals uh

[5:40]then he says here the prophet sallallah is addressing the men telling

[5:50]them basically to choose the mothers of their children of their own

[5:57]children carefully so if means choose who will be the mother of

[6:09]your child who will be the mother of your children carefully don't

[6:13]choose just any random lady there are many ladies that a person

[6:17]can marry but the prophet says because remember when you're getting married

[6:23]yes you're looking for a spouse you're looking for that you know

[6:26]companion who will spend the rest of of his or her life

[6:31]with you but you're also looking for uh for what for the

[6:38]the parent of your own child right that spouse later on will

[6:42]become a parent most of the time so the wife will become

[6:48]a mother the husband will become a father so the prophet says

[6:53]meaning make sure that you choose your wives carefully because these wives

[7:01]will end up being the mothers of your children obviously we want

[7:08]the mother of the mothers of our children to be to be

[7:10]good ladies faithful ladies ladies who will properly raise our children will

[7:17]raise them into being Servants of faithful people Pious people people who

[7:26]fear Allah so on so forth so if the man chooses for

[7:32]example a lady who can care less about about uh religion can

[7:38]care less about Allah's laws subhana tala how can he expect this

[7:47]lady to properly raise his children right so the word which we

[7:51]see in multiple Traditions not only this one is a very important

[7:54]word to keep in mind and we said last week for those

[8:00]who weren't present we said that when we present these narrations one

[8:04]might assume that you know these narrations only um pertain to men

[8:11]so only men will benefit from these narrations when that is not

[8:15]the case both men and women are in need of these narrations

[8:22]why because a lady after she gets married she becomes a mother

[8:26]usually and one day she will have sons she will have her

[8:32]own Sons so these narrations will apply to her as well because

[8:35]she uh she should you know help her son choose the right

[8:42]wife the right lady to marry so this is the first narration

[8:55]for tonight the second one that we're going to share is by

[9:09]IM Abu jaam it's a famous Nur that I believe many of

[9:13]you have heard but it's an important one and again all ntion

[9:20]are important this one is also found in or meaning or IM

[9:40]but I believe here it's IM he said that the prophet said

[9:53]what does that mean before we continue Prophet here is speaking about

[9:58]why a person gets married and why a person will choose a

[10:03]particular lady for marriage so he says that sometimes a person will

[10:12]marry a lady because of her beauty so he'll realize that she's

[10:18]beautiful and or attractive and so for that reason solely for that

[10:28]reason he will marry her he won't look at her religiosity at

[10:32]her faith at her patience at her you know morals he'll only

[10:39]look at her physical Beauty and he'll marry her for that reason

[10:42]so the prophet says sallallahu alai someone does this what will happen

[10:49]he will not find in that lady whatever he likes or whatever

[10:59]he loves what does that mean means he will not find true

[11:02]happiness he will not find the comfort that he's looking for in

[11:09]his relationship with that lady one might say does the prophet Sall

[11:14]alaih mean to say that we shouldn't marry women who are you

[11:20]know beautiful at least in our eyes is that what the prophet

[11:22]is telling us no that's not the message that the prophet sallai

[11:28]is giving or wants to give but the prophet is telling us

[11:38]don't Focus only on the physical beauty of a lady don't let

[11:43]let that be the only reason why you're marrying a particular individual

[11:48]because if you do so you will not find what you're looking

[11:54]foren you will not find happiness true happiness you won't find the

[11:58]the comfort that you're looking for in your relationship with that individual

[12:02]yes there is no problem in you know choosing uh a particular

[12:10]lady that you find beautiful so long that uh you marry her

[12:17]because of her religiosity because of the the good traits she has

[12:22]her her faith and her morals Etc make sense so again the

[12:29]prophet isn't saying sallallahu alaih that a person isn't allowed to marry

[12:33]a lady that he finds beautiful that's not what he's saying s

[12:42]and I believe we know that uh yes physical beauty is important

[12:49]but what's more important is spiritual Beauty internal beauty the beauty of

[12:57]uh a person's care character that's more important at the end of

[13:04]the day someone one day might lose his physical Beauty because of

[13:07]old age or because of a car accident God forbid but when

[13:14]you have internal beauty that will not be lost as long as

[13:19]you preserve it it will always be there even if you grow

[13:23]old even if you go through calamities your physical appearance might change

[13:29]but your internal beauty stays the same as long as you preserve

[13:36]it and the internal beauty is acquired and preserved through what through

[13:43]faith through tawa piety through uh beautifying yourself with good morals and

[13:48]purifying yourself from bad habits bad conduct and bad morals that's how

[13:53]you acquire and or maintain internal beauty spiritual Beauty you have people

[14:02]out there in the outer world who do possess physical Beauty but

[14:08]on the inside they're beyond ugly Beyond ugly I'll give you an

[14:15]example that doesn't pertain to our era right now but it's a

[14:22]very important example the Killer of this is a character that we

[14:36]mention and we hear about every year in because we recite the

[14:41]the killing of so we mention Believe It or Not Traditions say

[14:47]har was beautiful he had a beautiful face Subhan Allah but his

[14:57]face turned ugly after The Killing of the main point is what

[15:07]the man had uh outer beauty physical Beauty his face was was

[15:12]beautiful did that benefit him it didn't his soul was beyond ugly

[15:17]J and then Subhan Allah after the killing of IM Hussein even

[15:23]his outer beauty was lost so physical beauty is good it's important

[15:31]or somewhat important but what's more important is the internal beauty the

[15:36]beauty of the character then he [Music] says Prophet now mentions a

[16:04]second reason why a person might marry a particular lady and that

[16:08]one is money right money money money you say Money Talks someone

[16:15]finds that a particular lady has masallah uh a fortune she's quite

[16:24]wealthy so he seeks her hand in marriage not because of her

[16:28]rather because of her wealth he wants access to her bank account

[16:35]her her wallet her cash her coins Etc Prophet says sallallah Al

[16:40]if this is the only reason why he's marrying her what will

[16:45]happen which is a dangerous word Allah will abandon that individual he'll

[16:52]abandon that man and he will make him dependent on what on

[17:01]not ladies money when Allah T abandons you you're in trouble when

[17:06]Allah abandons me I'm in trouble I'm in big trouble we need

[17:12]Allah we don't want him to abandon us we need we we

[17:15]we ask Allah for guidance for H constant guidance and constant support

[17:21]constant Godly Aid what we call so that person he'll be abandoned

[17:28]by Allah and he will become dependent on what on the money

[17:36]of that lady so here the prophet is telling us that when

[17:44]you want to get married don't get married to a specific lady

[17:51]just because she has money or she has a Fortune as you

[17:56]all know was was very wealthy and she was also very beautiful

[18:03]what else do you expect the mother of and she also had

[18:09]a lofty social status so she possessed all three she had money

[18:13]right a fortune she had Beauty outer beauty she had a lofty

[18:20]social status and what was more important than all of those was

[18:24]her character she was Khadijah one of the greatest ladies in the

[18:29]history of mankind uh she was sought by by the aristocrats of

[18:39]qur Men Who had who were from qures who had lofty statuses

[18:45]but she rejected all of them right sought her hand in marriage

[18:54]but why not because of her money not because of her money

[18:58]rather because she was so then the prophet says you've told us

[19:14]that that when we want to get married we should not choose

[19:16]a lady for marriage a lady to be our wife just because

[19:22]she's beautiful or just because she's she's wealthy then why should we

[19:27]marry a particular lady he says for her Dean meaning search for

[19:35]that lady who is faithful who's religious who fears Allah subhanahu wa

[19:43]ta'ala because the person who fears Allah will not cross his limits

[19:50]he won't oppress you someone fears Allah he won't oppress others and

[19:57]in case he does oppress others by mistake accidentally he'll quick he'll

[20:02]quickly repent and he'll fix his mistake in Arabic they say someone

[20:11]fears Allah don't be afraid of him why because since he fears

[20:18]Allah subhah wa ta'ala he's not going to oppress you he's not

[20:22]going to cross his limits he knows Allah T is watching that

[20:26]stops him from doing doing what's not right this is again a

[20:34]very important tradition that the shabab the youth the male youth should

[20:37]keep in mind men and women of course all of us should

[20:42]keep in mind but especially the male youth however there's a second

[20:46]tradition that has an addition and I love these additions when you

[20:51]find you know additional information in the words of that additional information

[21:00]is really important so I'm going to share with you a tradition

[21:04]that's quite similar but it has the addition that we're talking about

[21:23]and this one is by Abu ja meaning AB you might tell

[21:31]me how do you know he's Abu jaak you just told us

[21:35]you know in the previous class when the tradition says AB it's

[21:39]talking about imak or Imad and the answer is look at what

[21:43]comes after AB says abdah spoke to me and he narrated one

[21:54]of the narrations ofas Allah to me Jab was alive during the

[22:01]times of imak but he was not alive during the times of

[22:04]IM during the time of IM jaad okay so here it's IM

[22:11]bear in mindd was one of the loyal Companions of he did

[22:20]not backstab and Ja was the last companion amongst the companions to

[22:25]pass away so the very last companion who passed away in the

[22:29]history of Islam was abdah he lived for a long time after

[22:36]after the prophet such that he met how many infallibles who can

[22:42]tell me yes and imak seven out of the 14 in follows

[22:56]so jab says what but uh he says that the prophet said

[23:09]now yesterday I explain to you why IM or IM sometimes quotes

[23:12]ja okay so review yesterday's lessons if you weren't present to know

[23:18]why they would quote jabber when in reality they don't need jabber

[23:22]they're more knowledgeable than ja sorry so what's the prophet saying again

[23:45]he's saying that if a man marries a particular lady only because

[23:51]she's wealthy what will happen uh Allah subhana T will abandon him

[23:55]and he will make him dependent on on that money on the

[24:01]money of that lady and whoever marries a lady only because she's

[24:06]beautiful only for that reason he will find in her what he

[24:12]dislikes okay then what but if someone marries a lady because of

[24:20]her Rel religion because she's faithful she is religious she's Pious for

[24:25]example this is the addition means what it means Allah will give

[24:35]him all of what was mentioned so he will um he will

[24:39]uh obiously have a faithful lady right a lady who fears Allah

[24:44]subhana wa tala and at the same time he will find her

[24:52]beautiful he will find that she does possess Beauty and on top

[24:59]of that he will be granted sustenance granted money by Allah subhanahu

[25:08]waala which could mean one of two either Allah T will expand

[25:14]will increase his sustenance which is the case when someone gets married

[25:18]Traditions tell us that marriage is one of the reasons why Allah

[25:22]tala increases a person's sustenance or the second meaning is if that

[25:29]lady has money she will allow her husband to make use of

[25:35]the money and so he will gain the three benefits his wife

[25:51]will be faithful he will find beauty in his wife and at

[25:59]the same time Allah subhana T will Grant him wealth next week

[26:04]inshallah we'll continue with with this important topic alhamdulillah

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