Building an Islamic Household - Lesson 6 - Some benefits of marriage- Hamam Nassereddine

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These are lessons in which we shed light on Koranic verses and narrations from Ahlul Bait (peace be upon them) that teach us the steps one should take to build an Islamic family.

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[0:28]m the the class that uh we're going to take at the

[0:53]moment revolves around uh building an Islamic household and uh we started

[1:00]this class last year here specifically we took about maybe four or

[1:05]five lessons give or take and uh the reason I wanted to

[1:12]inate this class specifically is that when we look at our societies

[1:17]we find that many people go through spousal problems so after marriage

[1:22]you'll find a couple going through immense problems sometimes which lead at

[1:30]times to divorce then again you find parents also struggling with their

[1:35]children uh or children struggling with their parents so on so forth

[1:46]um so looking at what and what have said on this regard

[1:56]is is key it's essential and the Quran presented uh a significant

[2:04]amount of advice regarding um spousal relationships and also regarding the relationship

[2:15]of a parent with his or her child or a child with

[2:17]his or her parent so if we if we you know Shia

[2:23]communities Shia societies simply look at uh Quran and the words of

[2:30]and we anal analyze them carefully to analyze their words carefully on

[2:35]this regard meaning the words that spoke about spous spousal relationships or

[2:41]the relationship of a father with with his son a mother with

[2:44]her daughter so on so forth um we will understand how to

[2:50]establish a Muslim family how to establish a Muslim household and since

[2:58]we're going through tough times you know we're going through uh difficult

[3:03]times times in which you see certain individuals drifting away from the

[3:09]straight path you see a good amount of people who are called

[3:13]Muslim they say muham but they don't practice Islam properly due to

[3:22]that uh I saw that it is essential to look at you

[3:27]know the narrations the quranic verses and the narration that speak about

[3:35]uh families uh and issues pertaining to Muslim families to understand how

[3:42]can we establish a Muslim family and once that's done how can

[3:46]we preserve it how can we protect you know the faith and

[3:48]piety of not only ourselves but our wives and children right the

[3:56]the the faith and poy of our spouses or our children so

[4:00]we mentioned a few points last year again you can review the

[4:07]the videos that uh are on YouTube um we mentioned for example

[4:11]the importance of enjoying good and forbidding evil and how a person

[4:21]is responsible of not only saving himself but also saving his family

[4:26]Quran says it Quran says which means that a person is responsible

[4:35]of saving himself and his spouse and his children from Hellfire now

[4:44]one question which came to the mind of uh certain individuals during

[4:49]the era of meaning during the era of the apparent IMS was

[4:54]you know how can I save my family from Hellfire right right

[5:02]I mean I don't have any control over them right I have

[5:05]control over myself and even then I don't know if I will

[5:08]be saved or not it all depends on what I do and

[5:12]how my life comes to an end correct meaning it all depends

[5:15]on what I do and the state uh uh that I live

[5:22]prior to my death so then how can I save my family

[5:24]from from Hellfire and the answer that presented was what was that

[5:33]you command them to do what pleases Allah subhana wa ta'ala and

[5:36]you forbid them of doing what displeases God subhana wa tala of

[5:42]course I'm paraphrasing the narration but this was the the general meaning

[5:46]that uh presented makes sense the last point we were looking at

[5:53]last year was the importance of getting married and how encouraged the

[6:04]Muslim to get married Muslim when you say Muslim we're talking about

[6:08]what Muslim men and Muslim women this was one of the Deeds

[6:16]that Allah highly emphasized on and it's a prerequisite to establishing an

[6:21]Islamic household right a Muslim household how can you have a Muslim

[6:25]household right if you're not if you're not married correct so it

[6:33]starts with what with with marriage true and it starts with choosing

[6:37]the right spouse choosing the right spouse so this applies to both

[6:43]males and females after looking at this point we'll go into what

[6:48]said in regards to children and how to raise our children because

[6:53]they've presented a lot of advice golden advice on on this regard

[6:58]so today we want to focus on a few Traditions I'm not

[7:02]sure how many Traditions we'll be able to cover a few Traditions

[7:09]that uh spoke about marriage and encouraged the Muslim to get married

[7:16]perhaps I've mentioned these Traditions before but in case I have there's

[7:21]no harm in repeating them as they say Arabic right when you

[7:28]repeat something there is benefit that stems from um from that action

[7:33]so the first narration we want to mention is a famous narration

[7:41]that uh I believe all of you have heard let me send

[7:50]it to the students who are online and then we'll write it

[7:56]on the board it's a short narration this one is in Ali

[8:04]alfi so let's write down the Hadith y the Hadith is in

[8:40]Ali which is a um Shi book written by during the era

[8:50]of the minor occultation so mentions a chain of narrators that goes

[8:58]back to IM ABD the Imam said f I'm going to translate

[10:07]it for you yeah a short and sweet so the IM says

[10:37]that the prophet said s whoever gets married will have shielded meaning

[10:41]he will have protected half of his religion half of his faith

[10:48]and then it says there is another narration where there's a completion

[10:54]for this statement he says thus let him fear Allah in regards

[11:00]to the other half or to the remaining half again this is

[11:08]a famous narration that many of you or all of you have

[11:11]heard but it's a very important narration very important because it shows

[11:21]us that marriage plays a vital role in uh protecting a believer's

[11:27]faith so it plays a vital role in um protecting our piety

[11:35]makees sense our tawa and piety is needed to be successful in

[11:40]the Hereafter does marriage make you infallible if you get married do

[11:45]you become like you know one of the prophets no you don't

[11:49]yeah you don't become infallible hence the prophet said in the other

[11:55]narration so let him fear Allah in regards to the other half

[11:59]so you will still be in need of fearing Allah reminding yourself

[12:05]of the truth battling with your own self what we call so

[12:12]you may succeed but what's What's um what is a given is

[12:22]that marriage helps a person obey Allah subhana wa tala so it's

[12:25]a Helper and it's a big helper because the prophet said he

[12:30]will have shielded half of his faith he could have said you

[12:33]know 1/8 one sixth of his faith no he said 50% of

[12:37]your faith will be protected through what through marriage so it's a

[12:46]very important had because it reminds us of one major and beautiful

[12:50]effect that marriage has on those who get married but the question

[13:02]is how does it protect a person from uh from uh indecency

[13:08]um when the prophet says it protects a person's Faith as as

[13:14]in it protects half of his faith what is he referring to

[13:17]here several points come to mind the first one the first one

[13:26]which is quite evident quite obvious does that me marriage protects a

[13:31]person from sins pertaining to carnal desire right that's a given but

[13:41]it also has other benefits okay so let's write write down benefits

[14:03]of marriage obviously we're not going to mention every single benefit we

[14:11]don't have time for that okay I just want to mention a

[14:13]few benefits and then we'll continue number one as we said it

[14:17]protects a person again to a certain extent from sins pertaining to

[14:37]carnal desire because it allows the person to practice his his desire

[14:46]in a lawful way in a way that pleases Allah subhana wa

[14:51]tala but there are other benefits that are really important a second

[14:59]benefit is it pushes a person away from suicide this point you

[15:18]know seems a bit funny but it's it's true it is true

[15:22]unfortunately suicide is a problem in our era it's a problem J

[15:29]and you have unfortunately some movements that are encouraging the youth to

[15:34]commit suicide God forbid marriage does the opposite it pushes you away

[15:42]from suicide why well for various reasons number one when you have

[15:49]a spouse that spouse uh turns into a source of sukun a

[15:52]source of Tranquility a husband finds tranquility spiritual Tranquility through the presence

[16:01]of his wife and vice versa right again we're talking about the

[16:06]good husband and a good wife someone might tell me you know

[16:11]what my wife turns my life into a living hell that's different

[16:13]J or my husband turns my life into a living hell that's

[16:18]different I'm not talking about bad husbands or bad wives a good

[16:21]husband is a source of Tranquility for his wife and a good

[16:26]wife is a source of Tranquility for her husband so when you

[16:29]have that Suk when you have that spiritual Tranquility obviously you'll be

[16:33]what you'll be more distant from committing suicide why would you commit

[16:38]suicide you're second you're stable you're tranquil so why would you even

[16:44]attempt killing yourself then again after some time a year two years

[16:49]five years God knows Allah usually blesses the couple with what with

[16:54]children and when you're blessed with children you're blessed with these you

[16:57]know human beings who came out of you they're part of you

[17:07]right has a beautiful um lengthy piece of advice what we call

[17:14]that he gave to IM and in it he tells him I

[17:24]found that you were part of me then he tells him uh

[17:30]in fact I found that you were all of me right uh

[17:36]a parent a good parent views that his child is what is

[17:43]you know a tiny individual who was one day part of him

[17:47]it's as if it's a second him it's a second you know

[17:51]Abu Ali or second Abu ja second Abu mus that's how the

[17:57]parent the good parent looks at his child so he tells him

[18:01]I found that you were part of me fact I found that

[18:07]you were all of me again I'm paraphrasing the the narration okay

[18:12]so when you have these children who become part of your life

[18:18]you also become more distant from committing suicide why because you know

[18:23]they depend on you and they need you at the same time

[18:28]you love them you don't want to separate from them Allah subh

[18:32]subh creates that emotional attachment between the parent and his child and

[18:38]the child and his parent that attachment is good because it keeps

[18:45]the parent away from what away from certain sins one of which

[18:50]is suicide one might think that you know I'm just um speaking

[18:55]my own ideas here but these ideas are actually based on evidence

[19:01]review for example statistics Canada okay the government realized that the amount

[19:09]of people who committed suicide who were single the amount of people

[19:15]who were single and committed suicide exceeded the amount of people who

[19:21]were uh married and committed suicide and according to I what I

[19:26]remember this applied to to either the youth or people in general

[19:35]in Canada so why would the number of people who are single

[19:39]who committed suicide exceed the number of people who were married who

[19:44]committed suicide because of what we just mentioned when you're married marriage

[19:49]itself it drives you away from uh suicide or Suicidal Thoughts again

[19:58]doesn't stop you from doing it if you want to commit suicide

[20:02]you can commit it at the end of the day but you're

[20:04]going to have to face its consequence which is what which is

[20:07]dwelling for eternity in Hellfire God forbid makes sense so that's a

[20:16]second effect which is very important a third effect is enhancing a

[20:45]person's patience that's also a very important effect which helps you what

[20:55]which helps you become a better person and become a stronger person

[21:00]person patience my friends my brothers my sisters is an essential part

[21:05]of our faith in fact tell us that without patience we can't

[21:11]be faithful if someone has zero patience it means he has zero

[21:14]faith says someone does not have patience at all zero patience it

[21:26]means he has no faith any part of of Islam any part

[21:31]of faith is in need of patience even if it's you know

[21:34]a simple part or an easy part of Islam for example doing

[21:55]w at the time of f requires patience especially on a cold

[22:04]night when the water is not too warm it needs patience fasting

[22:10]shamadan needs patience doing ha needs patience hij needs patience so on

[22:21]so forth avoiding you know unlawful desires things that you desire but

[22:25]they're unlawful it requires patience so marriage will help you become a

[22:31]better person a better believer because it will enhance your patience how

[22:35]will it enhance your patience well when you get married you're living

[22:38]with someone else and then after a while as we said usually

[22:44]Allah blesses you with children so previously you were one person then

[22:48]you became what two then you became three four five six six

[22:55]individuals living under the same roof that requires patience because you know

[23:00]each individual has his own um uh how can I say this

[23:08]his own personality right sometimes conflicts take place disagreements take take place

[23:13]disputes take place so patience is required in order to understand your

[23:22]spouse you need patience in order to properly raise your children you

[23:26]need patience so marriage it's s if you if you are a

[23:32]proper husband a good husband or a proper wife a good wife

[23:36]or a good parent marriage itself will do what will increase the

[23:41]level of your patience and with that you'll become a greater human

[23:44]being you'll get closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala these are three

[23:55]benefits of marriage not to say that the these are the only

[23:58]benefits there are others but these are three main benefits that one

[24:04]acquires from from Marriage now we have a better understanding why said

[24:31]another narration which I won't write down but I'll send it to

[24:36]the students on uh who are online uh the students who are

[24:42]present in class you can write the source the narration is found

[24:45]also in alfi onei you mean WR alfi sure no problem yeah

[25:01]I sent the students who are online uh the Hadith the second

[25:11]one yeah one second sorry okay so the Hadith the second one

[25:55]we're going to mention and explain inshallah subhah wa taala is also

[25:59]found in the book for it's in the chapter called so the

[26:19]chapter that speaks about how it disliked to remain single okay really

[26:27]it's dislike to remain single yes we said highly encouraged the Muslim

[26:34]to get married so this narration says what it says said the

[26:51]commander of the faithful said get married this is the word of

[26:56]Ali because the messenger of Allah said whosoever would like to follow

[27:13]my Sunnah meaning my teachings and my habits let him know uh

[27:17]that part of my Sunnah part of my teachings and habits is

[27:27]what marriage is to get married so it's as if the prophet

[27:33]is saying s if you want to be a true Muhammed a

[27:35]true Muslim you want to follow the footsteps of your Prophet sallallah

[27:40]alaih Al then get married because your Prophet Sall Al highly encouraged

[27:50]marriage and he himself got married not to one lady rather to

[27:55]multiple women s what is it yes I have [Music] from said

[28:13]Whoever likes my Trad to get married ased my Trad it yes

[28:20]that's it's say the same meaning but the one I'm reading is

[28:24]from alfi yeah sometimes you'll have a Hadith you'll have the same

[28:28]Hadith mentioned in multiple sources yeah sometimes you'll have a different Hadith

[28:34]mentioned in another source but it conveys the same meaning yeah these

[28:40]narrations my brothers and sisters are really important especially these days because

[28:47]we realize that uh for one reason or another the Youth of

[28:53]this day and age are delaying their marriage not all youth but

[29:01]some are some brothers some sisters keep on delaying marriage they delay

[29:05]it they delay it they delay it again for one reason or

[29:08]another uh they'll tell you mean you know we'll get married when

[29:14]we when we are in our 30s or maybe even when we

[29:20]are in our 40s and Islam says look that's that's too late

[29:23]get married before that you need it it protects you you need

[29:30]to be protected from indecency and marriage will not stop you from

[29:35]uh getting closer to Allah subhana wa taala yes it does come

[29:40]with some sort of restriction or restrictions but who said restriction or

[29:47]restrictions are bad having some restrictions is good when these restrictions stop

[29:53]me from doing what's wrong from doing what displeases God subhana wa

[29:58]ta'ala there they good restrictions they're not bad others might tell you

[30:12]that you know uh I want to learn I want to pursue

[30:17]my education and you know for that reason I don't want to

[30:20]get married no one said that if you get married you can't

[30:24]you can't learn you can continue learning after marriage there's no problem

[30:27]in that absolutely no problem there's no quranic verse saying that you

[30:34]know marriage is the the the end of your educational Journey it's

[30:38]not there's no Hadith saying after marriage you're not allowed to open

[30:42]a book on the contrary a Muslim should seek knowledge from what

[30:47]from the Cradle to the Grave right the prophet says so reminding

[30:57]ourselves of these narrations is necessary because as we said in in

[31:02]this day and age you have a good amount of Youth who

[31:06]are delaying their marriage thinking that this is something right that this

[31:10]is something good when in reality when you keep on delaying marriage

[31:14]it comes with consequences delaying marriage comes with with negative consequences negative

[31:22]effects God forbid another narration I'd like to read on this regard

[31:32]is one pertaining to IM actually IM and they're both on light

[31:48]and I think we'll conclude with this narration this one proves to

[32:00]us that marriage does not stop a person from reaching high levels

[32:04]of Faith or Perfection or from getting closer to Allah subhah wa

[32:09]ta'ala yes it does come with responsibilities yes when you do get

[32:13]when you do get married and you have children you have less

[32:18]time for yourself that's true but who says having less time for

[32:23]yourself will make you distant from God on the contrary it might

[32:28]bring you closer to Allah subhana Waal these responsibilities that you acquire

[32:33]after marriage whether you're a he or a she these responsibilities you

[32:38]can use them as a means as a was to get closer

[32:43]to Allah subhana wa tala we have for example mesmerizing narrations about

[32:52]the reward of a man who seeks sustenance who goes out and

[32:58]works to bring you know food and sustenance for his family traditions

[33:05]considered that man the person who you know hires himself who goes

[33:11]through uh uh through a lot in order to bring sustenance for

[33:18]his family like one who's doing Jihad like a person who's battling

[33:22]the path of Allah subhana tala then again the lady who takes

[33:27]care of her house who upholds her house chores the reward speaking

[33:33]about what she receives for simply for example moving one item from

[33:39]one place to another these narrations are Beyond mesmerizing perhaps we'll we'll

[33:49]read them one day we have detailed narrations on the reward a

[33:52]lady gets for simply being what a housewife a lady who takes

[33:59]care of her house she cleans she sweeps she washes the dishes

[34:03]imagine there's a big reward for simply moving one item from one

[34:07]place to another with the intention of what of fixing her house

[34:14]or making her house nearer Subhan Allah what is the narration that

[34:24]we wanted to mention and we'll conclude the session with this tradition

[34:27]it's also found in this one is in a chapter called I'll

[34:47]write it down for you and then I'll read the tradition so

[34:54]the second narration is in in which chapter Bab this is a

[35:45]different chapter yeah so mentions he mentions the chain of narrators which

[36:00]goes back to abdb bash ABD bash said what he said a

[36:10]lady entered upon meaning she told the IM I am a lady

[36:24]who is M what does mut mean she will explain the IM

[36:29]will ask her but bear in mind the literal meaning of battle

[36:34]battle means severing something okay so he said meaning when you say

[36:49]i a what do you mean what is this state of that

[36:53]you are talking about as in it seems that you know perhaps

[36:58]the IM is telling her Alam it seems that you're cutting yourself

[37:03]off of something what are you cutting yourself off of so she

[37:10]said she said I am abstaining from Marriage I don't want to

[37:18]get married said why he said I am seeking uh to achieve

[37:36]a higher level of perfection or a higher level of proximity to

[37:43]Allah subhah wa ta'ala through this kind of abstinence so she was

[37:49]thinking that if I refrain from Marriage I'll become you know what

[37:53]a greater human being or I'll become someone closer to Allah subh

[37:57]someone that Allah loves more what did the IM say he told

[38:10]her leave told her if what you were doing was actually good

[38:26]what if what you're doing is actually good and actually brings a

[38:31]person closer to Allah or brings a person to a higher level

[38:37]of perfection then would have done this before you she would have

[38:51]advanced you and would have done this deed before you he told

[38:59]her no one can can advance and beat her to what to

[39:09]Virtue or Excellence or to doing something which brings you closer to

[39:13]Allah subhana wa ta'ala or brings you to a higher level of

[39:16]perfection so long story short he was telling her you made a

[39:22]mistake was was the greatest lady that Allah created no lady is

[39:31]closer to Allah than her and Fatima got married so if abstinance

[39:35]for marriage was required Fatima would have done it before you make

[39:49]sense

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