BH- Lesson 24- Always refer to the Thaqalayn! - Hamam Nassereddine

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These are lessons in which we shed light on Koranic verses and narrations from Ahlul Bait (peace be upon them) that teach us the steps one should take to build an Islamic family.

Transcript

[0:03]Al in our last lesson regarding how to build an Islamic household

[0:46]which was a few weeks ago I remember um we were speaking

[0:53]about appointing the judge uh we were talking about uh the necessity

[1:00]of appointing the right and fair judge to judge between the husband

[1:08]and the wife if they ever go through unsolvable disagreements sometimes it's

[1:15]natural in many cases for a husband and a wife to disagree

[1:19]not just sometimes in many cases it's natural for them to disagree

[1:24]but in some cases or many cases they're able to solve the

[1:31]disagreement then again in some cases they're not so when they're in

[1:37]that state when they go through a disagreement and each person adheres

[1:43]to his own opinion it is wise it would be wise to

[1:48]refer to the fair judge the just judge so that judge can

[1:59]judge between them and once both of them accept the judgment and

[2:07]implement it the disagreement will be gone who is that fair judge

[2:13]we are we're Muslims we're we believe in hence it is only

[2:22]wise in fact it is necessary to always refer to so we

[2:34]can uh receive guidance from the imams don't only don't only give

[2:45]us guidance in regards to prayer or fasting Oran beliefs they present

[2:50]guidance regarding all Fields regarding all issues regarding all matters so they've

[2:59]presented advice regarding business transactions and how to do business they presented

[3:05]advice regarding marriage how to get married and they gave advice on

[3:09]that regard because they're the universal imams they have to give us

[3:17]the advice that we need um regarding any issue regarding any matter

[3:21]that pertains to the to the human being or to mankind so

[3:29]we learned from Imam Ali and to refer to alran and because

[3:37]they refer to Allah as we said they refer to Allah so

[3:42]he can tell them uh what are the duties of and what

[3:50]are the duties of in regards to uh working or taking care

[4:01]of the house chores right and the prophet said that is responsible

[4:07]of upholding the house chores taking care of the house chores and

[4:12]is responsible of working meaning he's responsible of bringing sustenance into the

[4:19]house right the last point we were mentioning was uh actually an

[4:25]example pertaining to the disagreement or kind of dis disagreement that might

[4:30]occur between a husband and his wife we said Can a husband

[4:38]force his wife to remove the hijab and the answer is no

[4:45]if the husband for some reason tells his wife to remove the

[4:47]hij and to uh to disobey Allah subhanahu wa taala then she

[4:56]should not obey him even if he even if he um threatens

[5:02]to divorce her because Allah's obedience comes first subhanahu waala the same

[5:09]applies to other forms of Disobedience the hijab was just an example

[5:13]if the husband for example commands his wife to stop speaking with

[5:23]her parents to do what we call right to sever her ties

[5:30]with her parents she can't do that it's Haram yes she should

[5:36]respect her husband yes she should you know um treat him in

[5:39]a good manner but he cannot force her and he should not

[5:46]force her to disobey Allah subhanahu wa tala he doesn't have that

[5:51]Authority in fact we learn from IM Ali as we've said many

[5:59]times to be merciful husbands who are are lenient husbands that do

[6:05]not force their wives to do certain matters muah matters lawful matters

[6:13]if they don't want to do it makes sense let me rephrase

[6:20]what I'm saying let me reward what I'm saying so that no

[6:22]one misunderstands Me When Im Ali says that he never forced to

[6:30]do something she did not want to do he teaches us men

[6:33]to be what to be lenient to be merciful and not to

[6:41]uh not to um Force our wives to uh perform various kinds

[6:59]of Deeds that they do not want to perform when it is

[7:02]not necessary for them to perform such Deeds sense provided of course

[7:12]that you know the Deeds we're talking about are um things that

[7:18]the the husband can accept uh and at the same time he

[7:26]can accept the absence of such Deeds sense so if the husband

[7:39]commands his wife to sever her ties with her parents she can't

[7:43]obey the same applies to any form of Disobedience here it would

[7:52]be wise for the wife to remind her husband of what the

[7:56]Quran says or what say about if he's telling her to sever

[8:07]her ties or about let's say intoxicant if he's telling her to

[8:10]drink wine and to consume intoxicant or about let's say gambling if

[8:17]he's telling her to gamble so on so forth it would be

[8:21]wise for her to mention the quranic verses or certain Traditions that

[8:25]speak about the sin he is telling her to perform so she

[8:32]can knock some sense into his mind and remind him that this

[8:39]is unlawful and the opposite is also true sometimes a wife will

[8:42]tell her husband and will put him under pressure will tell her

[8:47]husband to to disobey Allah subhanahu wa taala for example the wife

[8:52]might have an issue with some of the relatives of that husband

[8:57]say his siblings and she'll tell him you know what I want

[9:01]you to cut them off he can't listen to her he can't

[9:07]it's Haram so he can remind her in that case of what

[9:11]of the of the quranic verses that speak about and that speak

[9:16]about so she understands that you know she doesn't have the right

[9:23]to tell her husband to suffer his ties with her with uh

[9:29]his relatives let alone uh having the right to put pressure on

[9:34]him to do that deed you don't have to mention names a

[9:48]relatives yeah he can't uh he can't disobey Allah because his wife

[9:57]is telling him to disobey Allah and she can't do this say

[10:01]so whenever someone tells you to disobey Allah whoever that person is

[10:05]whether it's a husband or a wife or a parent or a

[10:09]child you can't disobey Allah Allah's obedience comes first sometimes the child

[10:14]is the one who puts pressure on his parents and tells them

[10:16]tohana waala sometimes it's the other way around whoever says disobey God

[10:27]you can't listen to them just until we get problem stay away

[10:37]from what away got mother brother her brother and she's don't you

[10:54]have obligation to of course you have obligation to so that's it

[10:59]yeah if she's if the mother is telling her child to sever

[11:05]ties with his maternal uncle meaning her brother that obviously he can't

[11:10]he can't obey her on that regard though sometimes a wife might

[11:31]uh command her her husband or tell her husband to indulge in

[11:37]unlawful jobs so he can bring money to the house and I'm

[11:44]giving practical examples things that sometimes we see in society the husband

[11:48]will will be put under pressure by his wife sometimes um because

[11:55]she wants him to acquire a particular job which will lead him

[12:00]to M which will lead him to sins because she wants what

[12:05]she wants more money she wants him to make more money so

[12:09]she can benefit and the kids the children may benefit here or

[12:15]he cannot listen to her then again sometimes it's the other way

[12:20]around the husband uh does Haram he he indulges in an unlawful

[12:25]job because he wants to make money and the wife tells him

[12:30]what she says don't disobey Allah subhana wa tala this is wrong

[12:33]and he shouldn't be doing this because you're disobeying the almighty if

[12:38]she does that then she's then she would be uh fulfilling her

[12:43]role or part of her role as a good wife because The

[12:46]Good Wife is is the wife that reminds you of your of

[12:50]of your lord and tells you to fear Allah subhanahu wa taal

[12:55]not to disobey Allah um so you may acquire m or other

[12:59]worldly items and or Pleasures sometimes uh the disagreement might not pertain

[13:13]to you know lawful and unlawful issues but it might pertain to

[13:19]other matters connected to to connected to the husband or the wife

[13:23]like what for example sometimes a husband uh demands his wife to

[13:33]give him her money she has money she has inherited let's say

[13:38]money from her father her father passed away and she has inherited

[13:42]money from the that that money belongs to Who belongs to her

[13:46]if she wants to give her money to her husband that's her

[13:52]choice she can do that but he can't force her he can't

[13:57]say listen you're my wife so now whatever you own become is

[14:00]mine no that's not the case that's not the case whatever she

[14:06]owns is hers so if he puts pressure on her and she

[14:13]doesn't you know feel like giving him the money she's inherited from

[14:17]her father for one reason or another she can simply tell him

[14:19]let's refer to a let's look at you know the Islamic laws

[14:25]and see what Islam says Islam says what her money is hers

[14:28]he doesn't have the authority doesn't he doesn't have the right to

[14:31]force her to give him her money yes as as we said

[14:37]if she wants to help him if she wants to give him

[14:40]part of the money or all of the money that's her choice

[14:42]but he can't force her some husbands think no because she's my

[14:48]wife now whatever she owns becomes mine that's not the case and

[14:55]the opposite is also true suppose that uh Lady Mary is a

[15:03]wealthy man and the man owns you know mashallah he owns lands

[15:06]he has a large estate he has a large Capital he has

[15:13]businesses so on so forth so she says now that I'm your

[15:18]wife I own all of this or I'm your sharik you know

[15:20]I'm your your partner your associat so whatever you own half of

[15:26]it belongs to me he can say no now if he wants

[15:33]to give her half of his possessions he can but she can't

[15:36]force him to give her half of his possessions she can based

[15:43]on Islamic law yes she deserves na she deserves that he spends

[15:51]on her he he grants her uh uh the sustenance she needs

[15:54]he gives her let's say food drinks clothing shelter medication and the

[16:00]likes our fuk of course have explained the the details regarding Na

[16:09]and they've said that his status his status his social status and

[16:14]her social status must be taken into consideration when we want to

[16:22]determine how much she uh how much she deserves when we want

[16:29]to determine you know the amount of of wealth and or sustenance

[16:36]that the husband has to give to his wife I'm not going

[16:38]to go into that right now but the have mentioned the details

[16:43]of so yes she can ask for her Naf but she can't

[16:49]say that you know now that I've married you and you have

[16:55]a fortune all of your fortune belongs to me or half of

[16:57]it belongs to me she can't do that if they disagree on

[17:03]that matter then simply they can remove the disagreement by doing what

[17:08]by referring to Shar by referring to the Islamic laws again don't

[17:14]get me wrong uh it's good for a husband to be lenient

[17:17]with his wife and it's good for a wife to be merciful

[17:22]towards her husband so on so forth it's it's good for them

[17:26]to help one another right but at the same time it's bad

[17:33]for them to uh to hurt each other and it's bad for

[17:41]each spouse to transgress against the other spouse or to make the

[17:46]other spouse feel like his rights are being violated because that will

[17:51]that will that will lead to other kinds of problems that in

[17:54]itself is wrong and it will also lead to other kinds of

[17:59]of problems any questions comments whatever yours is your whatever is whatever

[18:11]belongs to you is belongs to your wife if I own let's

[18:19]say a piece of land that uh that um cost mean let's

[18:27]say $100,000 the value of the land is $100,000 okay okay and

[18:31]I marry a lady now she owns the the land as well

[18:38]she doesn't yep you can't go in her purse and take say

[18:47]$20 $20 without her permission hers is hers but I heard that

[18:54]she can without your permission and take $20 okay from your wallet

[18:58]without your permission what what I know is she deserves a now

[19:05]with with in regards to he can um give her money so

[19:13]she can buy the the things that she needs the food the

[19:16]medication Etc or he can get it for her and he doesn't

[19:21]he doesn't have to give her cash makees sense makees sense H

[19:35]yeah the same applies to any other issue on which they they

[19:43]disagree or might disagree it's always good to refer to to refer

[19:50]to um when they go through you know disagreements that seem unsolvable

[19:57]because I said this once and I'll always say it we're if

[20:04]we're then we have to act like we have to accept what

[20:12]our imams what our Prophet what our God said subhanahu wa taala

[20:18]I have a question if someone goes through divorce is it also

[20:24]called na like whatever uh is it the same thing na know

[20:30]it's it different me what do you mean you know like sometimes

[20:36]like when a husband and wife gets divorce like like 10% of

[20:42]what he has 20% it's not fair to say she she never

[20:45]worked for her to take 5050 that's that's not right but what's

[20:53]the right uh amount well if if she gets divorced then uh

[20:59]if if he has not paid her Mah yet U if he

[21:05]has not paid her Mah suppose that he gave her part of

[21:11]the Mahar part of the Dow and did not give her the

[21:14]second part the latter part of the dowy and it was set

[21:19]in the marriage that in the marital contract uh that um he

[21:27]will give her her dowy when divorce or death takes place he'll

[21:31]give her the latter part of the dowy when divorce or death

[21:37]takes place then he will be obligated to pay her the latter

[21:41]part of the dowy secondly um he is uh obligated to give

[21:47]her her NAFA as we said when they're married if he refuses

[21:54]to do so um she can still demand him for the NAFA

[21:59]after divorce if he had not given her NAA when they were

[22:04]married so suppose that someone married a lady for 10 or 20

[22:08]years and he did not spend a dime on that lady all

[22:13]right not a single dime and she doesn't forgive him sometimes a

[22:18]lady forgives her husband okay divorce takes place and before the divorce

[22:26]she says I forgive him he doesn't have to give me anything

[22:29]I just want to be divorced if she forgives him and she

[22:32]lets go of that right the right to demand for the na

[22:38]then that's her choice she can do that but if she but

[22:43]if she does not forgive him and she says no I want

[22:45]the na he never spent me then uh it will be W

[22:53]on him to give her uh the amount he had to spend

[22:59]on her when they were married so that will be D meaning

[23:02]he will be indebted to her okay thank you so much what's

[23:15]Alon Canadian La the Richer spouse whoever is Rich makes more for

[23:25]a certain number of years or maybe even for life sometimes has

[23:29]to pay a certain amount a certain percentage of their wages to

[23:33]the other spice no they're not entit no no no no it

[23:38]depends on the law the country it could be for a few

[23:43]years it could be for Life n n so her belonging belongings

[23:52]or hers and his belong gings are his done deal so if

[23:57]they get divor B based on on Islamic law if they get

[24:03]divorced and suppose she owns you know uh she owns a palace

[24:07]because she is a princess for example uh that Palace is hers

[24:16]it's not his and similarly if if he's You Know Rich he

[24:19]Rich he owns God knows how how many lands and houses and

[24:27]apartments Etc and he divorces her those are his yeah something so

[24:37]both of them are are owners in that case right because it

[24:42]was bought jointly so if something was bought with her money and

[24:45]his money both would be owners of of that item but yes

[24:51]the the percentage how much do they own of that thing depends

[24:55]on you know uh on on uh who who who paid uh

[25:03]the money and how much did they pay right yeah for example

[25:06]what some people do is maybe only the husband is work but

[25:11]anything they buy they put in a joint deed or joint account

[25:16]and that's just so in case one dies other still has access

[25:20]to it without waiting for like right laws and de certific and

[25:25]all right but in that case there to happen it could still

[25:27]technically be the the property of whoever bought even even though legally

[25:32]they're they're joint so uh let me just get this straight so

[25:37]both of them have have a joint account in the bank s

[25:41]and the money of one of the two spouses is going into

[25:43]that account yeah the only money in that account technically was one

[25:49]of this okay but the account is joint joint and the the

[25:54]um the husband or the wife uh the spouse who's putting his

[26:01]money into that account does he intend on giving that money to

[26:05]the other spouse I'm working on the example of my brand right

[26:09]yeah so they say our money is sure but I don't know

[26:15]like my dad is specifically saying I grant all of it to

[26:17]my mom but just in case he says if I die I

[26:21]don't want you guys to go through the whole thing of inheritance

[26:24]and this and that you have access to the money even the

[26:27]second I that that's his only intention with with putting the money

[26:32]in like the house is joint own between my mom and my

[26:34]dad but the entire payment was by my what I can say

[26:39]right now to give you a precise answer is when someone gives

[26:42]you money but he doesn't make you the owner he just gives

[26:46]you money in the sense that he's leaving it with you or

[26:48]he's allowing you to use it but he's not making you the

[26:52]owner then the money still belongs to him the money still belongs

[27:00]to him uh in regards to Banks specifically I prefer to ask

[27:04]first before I give you an answer just in case uh because

[27:10]it's a bank it has own H the bank account so I

[27:12]we we'll ask about it and we'll we'll follow up inah but

[27:16]in general when I give you uh money or wealth or assets

[27:22]but I don't give it to you in the sense that you've

[27:23]become the owner I don't do Tam I don't say now you're

[27:29]the m or the owner of of this asset or this type

[27:33]of wealth but I allow you to use it I remain the

[27:35]owner an example of this is Matan the food and the drinks

[27:41]that you offer to your guests when they come over you're offering

[27:44]them food and and drinks right okay what does that mean it

[27:51]means they can use it but who's the owner you so when

[27:53]they leave when they leave the remainder of the food and the

[27:59]remainder of the drinks belong to who to you not to them

[28:02]but you're giving them these foods and drinks with you give them

[28:07]permission to to use it ahed check inheritance is the inheritance just

[28:29]for the children or does it also for the spouse no it

[28:35]applies to the spouse as well the spouse the husband inherits his

[28:39]wife and the wife inherits her husband

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