BH- Lesson 16- Don't marry your daughter to any random man!- Hamam Nassereddine

18 المشاهدات· 24/07/29

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في محاضرات

These are lessons in which we shed light on Koranic verses and narrations from Ahlul Bait (peace be upon them) that teach us the steps one should take to build an Islamic family.

أظهر المزيد

Transcript

[0:06]ald in our last lesson we were speaking about excuse me now

[0:56]last last lesson regarding the um Islamic household and how to build

[1:02]an Islam household we were speaking about uh the Wine Drinker and

[1:06]how uh told us that we should not marry our daughters to

[1:15]a Wine Drinker now we said that the had narrations that speak

[1:25]about this issue excuse me the narrations that speak about this issue

[1:30]um teach us at least two vital points number one they teach

[1:41]us that drinking wine is a big crime that should not be

[1:45]belittled by the Muslims or by human beings and so if someone

[1:55]is a Wine Drinker then the father should absolutely refuse The Proposal

[2:02]of that someone when he when he asks for uh that man's

[2:09]daughter's hand number two we understand that this was one of the

[2:16]tactics used by alai wasallam to push people away from drinking wine

[2:21]the people of Jah as you may know they had the habit

[2:26]of drinking wine and unfortunately up until today many people a significant

[2:31]amount of people drink wine even certain Muslims God forbid it's very

[2:37]you know upsetting very sad to say even certain Muslims and even

[2:42]certain you know people who believe in what we call sh drink

[2:46]wine obviously you're not a sh you're not a true sh if

[2:53]you are drinking wine you might be a in the in the

[2:57]sense that you believe in but you you're definitely not a in

[3:01]the sense of someone who follows the footsteps and the teachings of

[3:07]if you have That Hideous habit wine God forbid so when teaches

[3:17]people that if a Wine Drinker comes to you and asks for

[3:23]your daughter's hand you should refuse his proposal this is a tactic

[3:28]this was a tactic used by to push people especially Muslims away

[3:35]from drinking wine God forbid today inshallah with the limited time we

[3:44]have we're going to shed light on a few other Traditions regarding

[3:48]uh the right husband who is the right husband um who should

[3:56]I marry my daughter too and so we have two Traditions that

[4:02]I want to share with you today the first one is extremely

[4:09]important in fact all traditions of are important but this one specifically

[4:15]is is super important and sensitive this one is found in cites

[4:29]the book for he mentions the chain of narrators which goes back

[4:39]to IM our beloved IM who says that his forefather said that

[4:49]the messenger of Allah said I'm going to mention the the narration

[4:56]and I'm going to give you the literal translation then we'll explain

[5:04]what the prophet means so firstly he says means what who can

[5:14]tell meah means marriage but means what m no yeah it's actually

[5:34]the opposite the word it's something else not exactly but you're getting

[5:54]close means slavery slavery again I'm going to going to give the

[6:01]literal translation first and then we'll explain what the prophet means sallallahu

[6:05]alai so he says marriage is a type of slavery he says

[6:18]if one of you marries his daughter to a specific man to

[6:25]uh to a man he will have enslaved that girl okay again

[6:32]I'm giving the literal translation it says so let each one of

[6:44]you each one of you men each one of you fathers let

[6:51]him choose the husband of his daughter carefully because he is uh

[6:56]giving that daughter of his his precious daugh to that man and

[7:04]she is what basically um she is becoming the wife of that

[7:09]individual and as a result she is being enslaved okay again I

[7:16]emphasize on the fact that this is the literal translation but what

[7:21]is the meaning of the Hadith obviously marriage is not a type

[7:24]of slavery so it's quite obvious that when you get married whether

[7:31]you're a man or a woman you're not turning into a slave

[7:33]especially uh we we focus on women today when women get married

[7:40]they're not becoming slaves of their husbands that's number one number two

[7:46]there's a lot of emphasis in Islam on treating one's wife properly

[7:51]on treating one's wife in a good manner not only in a

[7:59]just manner but in fact treat treating her in a good manner

[8:01]sometimes you have a husband who's just a husband who's just is

[8:07]a husband who will give his wife her rights that's what that's

[8:11]a just husband sometimes you have a a wonderful husband a merciful

[8:16]husband who doesn't only give her her rights but he cherishes her

[8:23]he treats her very well he makes her happy he makes her

[8:27]Rejoice does Islam want us to treat our were wives in such

[8:34]a manner of course Islam emphasizes on two points it emphasizes on

[8:40]uh the good treatment of a wife towards her husband and the

[8:48]good treatment of a husband towards his wife it tells women to

[8:52]treat their husbands very well but at the same time it also

[8:55]tells men to treat their wives very well was known for this

[9:06]s Alam he he supported women's rights he came in an era

[9:16]in which ladies were deprived of the most basic right which is

[9:22]the right to breathe the right to live baby girls were being

[9:29]buried in the era ofas s alai as they were alive this

[9:34]was the Hideous habit known as and the prophet sallallah alai stopped

[9:39]that habit he forbade it and he stopped it by doing so

[9:46]he saved the lives of thousands in fact millions of men and

[9:50]women he saved the lives of thousands and millions of women and

[9:56]also men because the women who were saved later on became what

[10:00]they became mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers and obviously they had what

[10:06]a progeny and in that progeny you found males you found Sons

[10:12]grandsons great-grandsons Etc so all those humans were saved by the one

[10:17]and only Muhammed abdah also confirmed that women had other rights rights

[10:29]regarding inheritance rights regarding their Diaries rights when it came to how

[10:36]they should be treated by their husbands Etc Islam focused a lot

[10:40]on the rights of women and it defended women and it does

[10:46]defend them up until today so doesn't want us only to be

[10:56]just men just husbands he wants us to be good wonderful husbands

[11:00]who treat their wives their women in a good manner in a

[11:07]nice manner in a wonderful manner that being said we come back

[11:13]to the narration of when he says why did he say that

[11:27]marriage is a type of slavery why the meaning that we can

[11:33]derive from this narration or at least one meaning one correct meaning

[11:38]is the following we know that divorce in Islam is in the

[11:48]hands of who the husband or the wife the husband divorce in

[11:54]Islam is in the hands of the husband not the wife the

[12:01]wife canot divorce herself she can ask the husband to divorce her

[12:05]but he has to perform the divorce or someone who is authorized

[12:10]by him to represent him in his divorce can do that so

[12:16]for example he can authorize his own wife to carry out the

[12:19]divorce on his behalf and she can in that case provided that

[12:25]she carries out the divorce in the right way meaning all of

[12:27]the conditions of the divorce are fulfilled and provided that she's actually

[12:32]authorized by her husband to represent her to represent him in his

[12:36]divorce then she can do that but if he does not authorize

[12:42]her to divorce herself on his behalf to to to perform the

[12:47]divorce on his behalf then she won't be able to do so

[12:52]long story short divorce in Islam is in the hands of the

[12:54]husband before the lady gets married uh um in order for her

[13:02]to get married in order for the man to get married what

[13:06]needs to happen is a a marital contract must take place the

[13:11]marital contract is two-sided two-sided means what it means if the man

[13:19]does not accept to perform the contract the contract will not happen

[13:22]and if the woman does not accept for the contract to take

[13:28]place it will not happen usually the contract is initiated by who

[13:32]who can tell me the woman it's initiated by the woman she

[13:39]initiates the contract she utter her vows and then the the husband

[13:46]he accepts the contract and he utters his W his vows now

[13:50]in many cases for one reason or another there is someone who

[13:57]represents the the lady who represents the girl in her marriage like

[14:00]a or a so he does her part of the contract on

[14:07]her behalf and then the husband he does his part and he

[14:09]utters his his vows and the marital contract takes place with divorce

[14:17]it's different it's not a contract it's not two-sided what do you

[14:21]mean it's not two-sided doesn't it affect two people yes it does

[14:25]but it's only one-sided the husband based on the Islamic law is

[14:29]the one who performs the divorce hence it's not called a in

[14:35]Islam it's called what now obviously there's a reason or there are

[14:43]multiple reasons why Allah subhana wa tala placed divorce in the hands

[14:48]of the man not in the hands of the woman or he

[14:53]did not Place divorce in both of their hands bear in mind

[15:00]bear in mind that as we said a woman is able to

[15:02]be the W of her husband based on Islamic law a lady

[15:13]is allowed to ask her husband to authorize her to be his

[15:17]representative in their divorce and to perform the divorce on his behalf

[15:22]she's allowed to ask him that but it's his choice whether he

[15:27]actually authorizes her or not he can accept to authorize her and

[15:29]he can say no I don't want to authorize you to be

[15:34]my representative in the divorce and that authoriz authorization can be given

[15:40]to the lady at the time of the it can be placed

[15:41]as a condition in the marital contract and it can be given

[15:47]to her after the marital contract all right I'm just giving you

[15:51]this information to be more aware of what to be more aware

[15:57]of what's allowed and not allowed in Islam but initially divorce is

[16:02]in the hand of who in the hand of the husband that

[16:12]being said if a husband if if a father marries his daughter

[16:16]to the wrong man marri her to a Muslim or to a

[16:21]m meaning someone who believes in but he married her to the

[16:28]wrong man meaning someone who does not treat her properly what's going

[16:32]to happen this lady might go through a lot of difficulty in

[16:36]her life she might go through years and years of of Agony

[16:41]years and years of what years and years of of of crying

[16:49]of sadness of tiredness Etc and she won't be able to set

[16:58]herself free because divorce the does not lie in her hands divorce

[17:01]lies in the hand of the husband one might say but does

[17:07]Islam allow this does Islam even allow a man to refrain from

[17:12]you know divorcing his wife whilst he oppresses his wife we say

[17:17]Islam does not allow the husband to oppress his wife he does

[17:23]not allow the husband Islam does not allow the husband to oppress

[17:26]the wife or to oppress anyone period we said previously that oppression

[17:31]is completely refuted in Islam regardless of who performs or from who

[17:41]stems the oppression from who the the oppression stems J oppression is

[17:50]not allowed whether it's stemming from a man or a woman case

[17:56]closed so a man a husband is not not allowed to oppress

[18:03]his wife thus Allah subhana wa tala teaches us in alquran that

[18:09]we have two choices us men we have two choices either we

[18:15]live with our wives in a good manner we respect them we

[18:21]treat them well we give them their rights or what or we

[18:24]set them free also in a good manner in a peaceful manner

[18:29]in a manner that pleases Allah subhana wa ta'ala as for marrying

[18:35]a lady and keeping her as your as your wife whilst you

[18:39]mistreat her whilst you oppress her again and again this is not

[18:42]allowed in Islam this is not allowed in Islam I want this

[18:49]point to be Crystal Clear it's not allowed for a man to

[18:55]keep his wife with him not to divorce her and to keep

[18:57]on mistreating her but now a question comes to mind if he

[19:04]does that if he mistreats her will she be automatically divorced what

[19:09]do you think she won't she she will still be his wife

[19:14]and because divorce in his hands uh divorce is in his hands

[19:20]it lies in his hands she she might not be able to

[19:29]set herself free or might not be able to set herself free

[19:31]quickly the reason I say quickly is because we have something called

[19:37]there are certain States please focus on the word certain certain States

[19:43]in which the meaning the the jurist what we call a The

[19:52]jurist Who holds all the conditions of uh can divorce the lady

[20:00]and set her free J but again this only applies to certain

[20:04]states that are mentioned in the books of Juris prudence and I'm

[20:08]not going to go into those details right now because I don't

[20:13]have enough time for that but if a lady actually resorts to

[20:19]the that holds all of the conditions of what all of the

[20:28]conditions of uh and you know she tells him about her issue

[20:32]with her husband that she's being mistreated Etc and at the end

[20:38]gets to a point where he himself divorces her and sets her

[20:44]free in order for him to do that a good amount of

[20:49]time will will pass why because he needs to look into the

[20:52]issue he needs to find out whether the whatever she's saying for

[20:57]example uh uh the issue that has arised uh he has to

[21:03]look into that issue he has to see what's going on is

[21:09]he even able to um execute meaning to perform or not so

[21:17]a good amount of time will pass until is actually able to

[21:26]set her free J so in order for the lady to be

[21:28]protected from all of those headaches in order for her to be

[21:32]protected or say to be closer to be protected from those headaches

[21:39]what does the prophet say sallallah alaih wasallam he says do not

[21:42]marry your daughter to any random man even if that man is

[21:48]Muslim yes even even even if he's Muslim even if that man

[21:50]is a Believer yes even if that man is a Believer choose

[21:55]the husband of your daughter carefully because if you choose the right

[22:04]man the faithful man the pious man the man of morals for

[22:09]your daughter J if he ends up hating her for some reason

[22:13]if they don't get along for some reason then you can rest

[22:18]assured that he will not you know oppress her as imass said

[22:26]and he will not continuously mistreat her whilst he keeps her as

[22:34]his wife that individual will do one of two either he'll treat

[22:36]her in a fair Manner and he'll give her her rights yes

[22:41]they might not have the happiest life but they'll have a good

[22:44]life right he won't mistreat her he won't oppress her or he'll

[22:47]set her free in a good and peaceful manner after this explanation

[22:55]I think we can understand why the prophet said sallallahu alai Al

[22:59]that marriage is the type of slavery and he tells the people

[23:09]that when you marry your daughters to men to specific to to

[23:12]uh to uh to man uh you are basically enslaving them that's

[23:19]what he meant to say sallallah alai wasallam that's what he meant

[23:22]to say and so he says make sure that you look at

[23:29]the person you look at the person to whom you are marrying

[23:35]your daughter looking at him means what it doesn't mean that you

[23:38]physically look at him no no it means you Analyze That individual

[23:41]who is he is he faithful or not is he trustworthy or

[23:48]not can I trust him with my daughter or not so on

[23:52]so forth so make sure that you marry your daughter to the

[23:58]right man by doing that You Can Be You Can Be reassured

[24:04]or assured that this individual inshallah will not uh oppress your daughter

[24:12]we're out of time do we have any questions about today's class

[24:18]about the Hadith that we mentioned no questions no sister Z Do

[24:28]you have a question about the Hadith again before I conclude I

[24:45]just want to mention that obviously everything in Islam has its reasons

[24:49]has its wisdoms and when Allah subhana wa T places divorce in

[24:54]the hand of the husband there's a wisdom behind this or multiple

[24:58]wisdoms there's a reason or multiple reasons J but we emphasize on

[25:02]the point that Islam does not want anyone to oppress anyone especially

[25:08]men he does not want men to oppress their wives nor does

[25:14]not want Islam does not want men to oppress their wives and

[25:17]does not want women to oppress their husbands I wanted to mention

[25:23]another tradition but Subhan Allah we did not have enough time m

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BH- Lesson 16- Don't marry your daughter to any random man!- Hamam Nassereddine

Transcript

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BH- Lesson 16- Don't marry your daughter to any random man!- Hamam Nassereddine

Transcript

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