BH- Lesson 21- Appoint the right judge! - Hamam Nassereddine

5 المشاهدات· 24/12/17

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These are lessons in which we shed light on Koranic verses and narrations from Ahlul Bait (peace be upon them) that teach us the steps one should take to build an Islamic family.

أظهر المزيد

Transcript

[0:04]Al in our last lesson we were speaking about the um the

[0:41]The Good Wife and we were mentioning a tradition we read a

[0:45]tradition from speaking about Not Only The Good Wife but the best

[0:53]wife or the best woman and the reason we're looking at these

[0:57]Traditions is we sat when we're looking at spousal treatment how a

[1:05]husband should treat his wife and how a wife should treat her

[1:08]husband we have aam we have Islamic laws that are mentioned in

[1:11]the jurist credential books these aam will teach us the bare minimum

[1:21]that should be done to ensure that the husband is receiving his

[1:26]rights and the wife is receiving her rights J but we also

[1:30]say said that when we look at the of we understand from

[1:37]that we Muslims are not obligated to Simply abide by what is

[1:42]mentioned in the books of jurist prudence regarding spousal treatment on the

[1:47]contrary if we look at the Traditions that speak about husbands and

[1:51]how they should treat their wives we understand that Allah and want

[1:58]husbands to be what gentle with their wives to be gentle men

[2:05]to be individuals who care for their wives who help their wives

[2:09]who support their wives Etc and the opposite is true when we

[2:13]look at the narrations of we understand that Allah and want uh

[2:21]wives to be um individuals who strive to please their husbands so

[2:27]they don't only abide by what's waj they go beyond what's waj

[2:37]so they try their best they exert effort to make the husband

[2:41]happy to make the husband pleased to please him J to support

[2:47]him so on so forth so we read a tradition regarding uh

[2:51]The Good Wife J and the tradition made a very interesting and

[3:01]bold statement indicating that The Good Wife or the best wife will

[3:07]strive to please her husband even if she's angry or even if

[3:12]she's angered by him now we did say that this does not

[3:17]mean a man has the green light to come and oppress his

[3:24]wife oppression is bad regardless of the oppressor any form of Oppression

[3:29]is refuted and is bad whether it's coming from a man or

[3:36]a woman a husband or a wife an elder or a youngster

[3:38]any form of any form of Oppression is refuted period but we

[3:46]said in case you know in case the husband makes a mistake

[3:53]which angers the wife obviously here are talking about small mistakes or

[3:58]normal mistakes then it would be good for her to do what

[4:00]to remain patient not to go berserk would be good for her

[4:06]to to remain patient and to uh to deal with the matter

[4:10]in a wise manner uh such that you know due to her

[4:18]behavior the the problem would or the m a the the problem

[4:25]would would Fade Away J or the mistake would be disregarded make

[4:31]sense is the opposite true yes if a lady commits a small

[4:36]or a normal mistake it is it would be wise for the

[4:42]husband not to make a big deal out of it today inshallah

[4:47]we're going to read another tradition on this regard one or two

[4:55]Traditions inshallah which confirm whatever we mentioned today the introduction and whatever

[5:02]we mentioned a few weeks ago and that is that a lady

[5:14]is not obligated to abide by whatever is mentioned in the jurist

[5:19]credential books when it comes to spousal treatment she can go beyond

[5:23]that okay she can go beyond that a husband might tell his

[5:27]wife methan bring me a cup of water she might tell him

[5:31]I'm not obligated to do so is she obligated to to give

[5:37]him the cup of water no she's not she's not would it

[5:39]be good for her to do it yes does Allah T want

[5:43]her to do that yes does Allah make it wag on her

[5:46]no makees sense but Allah encourages her to to do it the

[5:52]husband methan tells her you know my wife can you iron my

[5:55]shirt I have an appointment I want to look you know classy

[5:59]I want to look nice and you IR in my shirt and

[6:02]my clothing for me she can tell him what you know it's

[6:04]not W for me to do it but is that the response

[6:07]that Allah subhana T wants her to give him no Allah wants

[6:14]her to help her husband of course now we're talking about the

[6:17]wife because we talked about the husband a few weeks ago and

[6:21]as I said we started with with the men before we came

[6:26]to the woman yes Muhammad Ali asking for a favor a favor

[6:34]no taking care of the house chores that's not W no no

[6:47]right but but think about this if if if he asks her

[6:53]for a cup of water and she says no and then she

[6:56]asks him for a cup of a cup of water and he

[7:02]says no what's going to happen here what kind of a household

[7:05]is this right it's a household of enemies not a household of

[7:09]of uh friends not a household that has you know a husband

[7:16]and wife who are living together in peace and harmony so if

[7:34]we go to the book we have a tradition by [Music] says

[7:57]the tradition continues but let me translate what it says here before

[8:04]we continue the prophet speaks about certain things that are given by

[8:08]Allah subhah wa tal certain forms of sustenance that are given by

[8:10]Allah and he speaks about forms of sustenance that bring a person

[8:17]uh from one state to another such that they amarate the state

[8:25]of the Muslim they amarate the state of the individual for example

[8:31]a person might be going through poverty Allah T bestows upon him

[8:36]what a good amount of wealth because of that wealth his state

[8:44]is amiliar from a physical perspective or a financial perspective make sense

[8:50]so that you have certain forms of sustenance certain Gifts of Godel

[8:57]gifts that come from Allah subhana wa tala that will uh that

[9:05]will um ameliorate your current state one of those is what he

[9:13]says a lady Allah subhah wa taal grants a person a lady

[9:20]meaning a wife that has the traits that you shall hear that

[9:23]lady will be basically a form of sustenance or a gift from

[9:30]Allah subhah wa tala that amarate the state the state of the

[9:33]Muslim man what are the traits of this lady when he looks

[9:41]at her she makes him happy meaning simply looking at her causes

[9:45]the man to Rejoice let alone what let alone what happens to

[9:52]him when for example she speaks to him or when she treats

[9:58]him well or when she tries to relieve him from distress so

[10:03]simply looking at her makes him happy what else when he's absent

[10:12]when he leaves her and he's absent she protects him or she

[10:22]preserves him what do you understand from this word how could she

[10:26]do how could she protect or preserve him when when he's absent

[10:31]Muhammad Ali so she preserves His Image or say his reputation and

[10:41]she also preserves his belongings his wealth okay Ahmed you had a

[10:51]comment that's also a way through which he can preserve or protect

[11:01]him so what we can understand go ahead just like in the

[11:06]general sense when we talk about the moment to each other is

[11:12]that they defend other when the other is we apply the same

[11:17]that she defends her husband yeah the the the Hadith can be

[11:29]understood in that way yes that is one interpretation or yes but

[11:33]the least we can understand the least we can understand from the

[11:39]word who she protects or preserves him is number one she does

[11:42]not cheat on him when he's away does that mean she can

[11:48]cheat on him when he's present no of course not but we're

[11:52]talking about not cheating on him God forbid when he's absent because

[11:57]when he's absent uh there's more room for that it's easier to

[12:03]do so but obviously a good lady let alone uh sorry a

[12:09]good wife a good believing wife will never do so will never

[12:13]think of cheating on her on her husband what's interesting is this

[12:21]issue is looked down upon greatly even by non-muslims and you don't

[12:25]have to be Muslim to know that cheating on your husband is

[12:29]not only bad but it's extremely bad so even non-muslim ladies know

[12:34]this issue they know it for a fact that cheating on your

[12:40]husband is not only bad it's extremely bad so a believing lady

[12:43]will not even think of this of this matter however you know

[12:52]unfortunately some men um they cross their limits and sometimes they try

[12:57]to lure ladies into Haram they try to even lure married ladies

[13:02]into indecency into forbidden Deeds so here the prophet says when he's

[13:13]absent she protects her husband or she preserves him meaning she does

[13:17]not cheat on him that's the first meaning we can understand from

[13:25]the word number two the second meaning is that she will protect

[13:29]or preserve his wealth obviously when he leaves his wife usually he

[13:37]will leave her where in in his own house so uh his

[13:45]possessions will be under her control he might leave you know his

[13:54]his uh uh bank cards with with with with with his wife

[13:57]right he might leave with her a large amount of money but

[14:02]if she's a good wife what will she do she will protect

[14:05]his wealth she will not misuse it she will not use it

[14:10]in a way that um that is unlawful number one and in

[14:16]a way that disturbs the husband number two engl yeah literally means

[14:32]she protects him or preserves him the third trait is that when

[14:43]he commands her to do something she obeys him realize the prophet

[14:46]sallallahu Al doesn't mention uh what he tells her to do yes

[14:52]we understand from other narrations and from the Quran that if he

[14:59]commands her to disobey Allah wa tala then she should not obey

[15:04]him it's quite unfortunate and sad to say that certain men command

[15:09]their wives to disobey Allah I've heard of cases where the husband

[15:14]commands his wife to remove hijab imagine she's and he tells her

[15:19]to remove the hij in fact he tells her that if she

[15:22]does not remove the hijab he will divorce her which is very

[15:27]sad very unfortunate in this case should she remove the hijab what

[15:33]do you think shabab should she of course not right Allah's obedience

[15:39]comes first so even if he's going to divorce her she should

[15:43]keep the hijab on huh well it depends on on their case

[15:50]right nonetheless uh so if he commands her to disobey Allah tal

[15:59]then she should not obey him but the here in thisi he

[16:02]says he commands her to do something he tells her to do

[16:10]something then she'll she'll listen so if he tells her to bring

[16:12]me a cup of water she'll bring it to him right why

[16:17]because she's his slave no she's not his slave she's his wife

[16:20]because she loves him she respects him she wants to make him

[16:24]happy and the more she you know the more more good treatment

[16:30]she shows her husband the more she elevates in the eyes of

[16:33]Allah subhana wa tala the opposite is true as we said a

[16:36]few weeks ago the better we treat our wives the more we

[16:41]Elevate in the eyes of Allah subhana wa tala so if he

[16:46]tells her Matan to iron his clothes then yes she should iron

[16:51]the clothes she'll be receiving Hass because of that service if he

[16:55]tells her Matan to help him to lend him a hand in

[16:59]a particular matter within the house inside the house then let her

[17:03]help him that's an opportunity to gain to gain Good Deeds so

[17:11]from the statement of the the prophet sallallahu alaih when he says

[17:20]we understand that is telling women you're not obligated to Simply abide

[17:30]by whatever is mentioned in you can do more in fact we

[17:36]want you to do more this is one tradition there is another

[17:48]tradition also in excuse me mentions that said that Allah said the

[18:10]following this is what this is known as Hadith right Allah is

[18:15]talking but the Hadith the the word is not part of the

[18:18]Quran so it's not Quran it's what we call Hadith what does

[18:25]Allah say he says subhah waala Allah says if I want to

[18:43]give the Muslim both goodnesses the goodness of this world and the

[18:50]goodness of the Hereafter I will give him the following which means

[18:53]if someone possesses what you shall hear this person technically possesses the

[19:02]goodness of this world and the next or say he possesses what

[19:08]leads him to to the goodness of this world and the next

[19:17]number one I will give him a heart meaning a soul that

[19:22]feels that feels a sense of humility for Allah subhana wa ta'ala

[19:28]for example when that person performs Salat he won't only be uttering

[19:38]quranic verses and invocations he won't be simply moving his body he

[19:45]will feel um a change in his soul he will feel a

[19:47]sense of what a sense of say fright or humility as he

[19:56]is praying a sense of calmness same goes with Dua someone who

[20:04]ask when he performs Dua when he reads Dua for example or

[20:08]he feels that he is absorbed by the supplication and that he's

[20:17]being affected by the supplication perhaps in certain segments he cries that's

[20:23]a result of the affection that's the that's a result of of

[20:28]what he's feeling as he is reading reading or reciting the supplication

[20:32]so number one is then he [Music] says and I will give

[20:43]him a tongue that does that remembers Allah subhanahu waala that mentions

[20:51]Allah there are people out there who like you who mention Allah

[20:59]abundantly every day they even when they're sitting down with their friends

[21:05]with their companions they mention Allah the word me Subhan Allah is

[21:09]repeated by them numerous times every day so they do even when

[21:22]they're simply you know walking in the park or walking in the

[21:25]market Etc or sitting down with their friends and that's a big

[21:34]blessing because believe it or not will notify its owner will notify

[21:39]him of what of God sometimes we might go through a state

[21:44]of sah a state of unawareness and we somewhat forget Allah tala

[21:52]but we've gotten used to mentioning Allah so all of a sudden

[21:56]we find ourselves saying for example or Subhan Allah whilst we are

[22:03]in that state of sah so the tongue here does what it

[22:06]notifies you wake up you know Allah is watching Allah is watching

[22:11]you so one of the benefits of having lisan is that the

[22:18]lisan itself the tongue itself will notify its owner of God subhah

[22:21]wa taala when the owner of the tongue uh somewhat forgets Allah

[22:31]it be app to the person is reminding the person uh the

[22:38]tongue is the thing doing sense yeah number three I will give

[22:54]him a body that will endure patience when that person is Afflicted

[22:59]with trials what's what is it called in Arabic enduring patience is

[23:19]not uh is not uh easy practicing patience or observing patience enduring

[23:25]patience when someone goes through a heavy Calamity is not easy patience

[23:30]is more it's butterful but the third blessing is what having this

[23:37]body that can actually endure and resist the bitterness of patience whilst

[23:48]the human being is Afflicted with trials and or heavy trials next

[24:00]Subhan Allah and I'll give him a wife who believes me she

[24:08]believes in Allah believes in believes in the truth she will make

[24:16]him happy if he gazes at her if he looks at her

[24:22]she will protect him or preserve him when meaning she'll protect or

[24:30]preserve her husband when he's absent when he leaves her in his

[24:33]absent through her own self and through his wealth meaning as we

[24:47]said earlier she will she will not misuse his money she will

[24:51]not for example waste all of his money when he's gone or

[24:56]a large chunk of his money when he's G gone she will

[25:02]not uh use his money in gambling or in other forms of

[25:06]disobedience in fact she will not use the money in a way

[25:13]that disturbs the husband sh how do you say it in Arabic

[25:19]for number four uh I sent you theith it's on the chat

[25:37]section as for preserving him or protecting him through her own self

[25:44]we said one interpretation is what she will not cheat on him

[25:47]God forbid when when he's absent another interpretation is that she will

[25:55]not behave in a manner that ruins His image or ruins his

[26:02]reputation when he's absent so she'll remember I a and I have

[26:06]to protect my image and my reputation but now I'm not only

[26:15]a I'm I married to this individual and he also has a

[26:17]reputation now that he's gone he's on a trip for example and

[26:22]he's gone for a few weeks or a few months uh I

[26:25]should observe my actions carefully and ensure that I do not do

[26:34]anything that will deform His Image or mine so if she misbehaves

[26:48]during his absence she should remember that misbehaving might not only harm

[26:55]her but it might also harm her husband Subhan Allah the Hadith

[27:02]here uh glorifies the M it glorifies the believing lady because Allah

[27:13]subhana wa tala considers the believing lady to be what to be

[27:17]h a a big blessing to be part of the things which

[27:23]lead a person to receiving the goodness of what this world and

[27:28]the next for the theith is is greatly praising greatly praising ladies

[27:40]who are uh Believers believing ladies any questions on this Hadith no

[28:15]let's see how much time we have left okay we have time

[28:35]for one last Hadith after understanding that the husband and the wife

[28:44]both of them are not obligated to Simply abide by what is

[28:47]mentioned in the Juris credential books regarding spousal treatment we move to

[28:54]a new point which is before marriage or you know as they're

[29:04]in that process in the process of getting married it would be

[29:08]very wise that the husband and the wife agree to appoint a

[29:13]judge who will judge between them in case they disagree on a

[29:23]particular matter and the disagreement continues disagreements are bound to happen because

[29:30]when two people get married these two people are not identical even

[29:35]if they're cousins yes even if they're cousins even if they were

[29:39]you know raised in the same house mean suppose you had two

[29:44]cousins who were raised by the same individual but they're cousins can

[29:47]they get married when they grow up yes they're not they're not

[29:50]siblings the fact that they were raised in the same uh in

[29:56]the same Atmosphere by the same individual does not mean that they're

[30:01]that they're look at yourself and your siblings you'll see similarities but

[30:05]you'll also see what differences and sometimes you might see grave differences

[30:11]between two siblings let alone the differences you see amongst cousins or

[30:18]people who are not even related right so disagree disagreements are bound

[30:27]to happen problems are bound to arise most likely if they're able

[30:33]to solve the problem then that's that's good that's beautiful if they're

[30:40]able to get rid of the disagreement then that's also beautiful but

[30:48]what if what if they face a particular issue they disagree on

[30:54]what should be done and each individual the husband and the wife

[30:59]holds to his or her opinion holds his or her opinion in

[31:05]better terms each one of them um refuses to give in to

[31:14]his or her spouse then what should be done here here referring

[31:21]to the judge referring to the just judge who can judge between

[31:27]them in a fair manner man who can judge between them fairly

[31:32]would be very wise who is that judge or what is that

[31:37]judge it is they disagreed on a particular issue okay let's look

[31:51]at what let's look the Quran says and we'll follow whatever the

[31:57]Quran say it's as simple as that if they're both if she's

[32:04]a and she's a then they both believe in the Quran and

[32:08]and they both believe that the Quran and will never Hasen incorrect

[32:15]judgment they both believe that the Quran is it is just and

[32:22]are they're the just judges they're infallible so refer to what say

[32:31]and to what the Quran says and then go by what say

[32:37]a simple as St okay this is something we learned from who

[32:42]from the two infallibles who never went through spous problems as we

[32:49]said yesterday they never disagreed on a particular matter but even then

[32:54]one day they went to so he may judge between them they

[32:59]teach us a lesson they teach us fallible men and fallible women

[33:05]if you ever have a disagreement amongst each other then refer to

[33:12]the Flawless judge who is the false judge the infallible right the

[33:31]or just no go go to the Quran if they know what

[33:37]the Quran say if however they don't know what the Quran or

[33:40]say on that regard then obviously you refer to who to the

[33:46]scholars or the house of students who know for example we can

[34:08]give many examples here the husband disagrees with his wife on a

[34:12]particular matter she has let's say an amount of money in her

[34:18]bank account that was given to her by her dad by her

[34:20]father she owns that money it was given to her as a

[34:26]gift by her dad her husband wants her her to use that

[34:31]money so he can pay the bills or that both of them

[34:34]can can pay their hydro bill or electricity bill or pay their

[34:40]taxes Etc and they disagree she tells them you know what you're

[34:44]my husband I love you Etc but you know I want to

[34:48]keep this money uh it has been given to me by my

[34:50]father as a gift and I want to keep it aside for

[34:54]a certain reason now he persists and he says look know I'm

[35:00]I'm the husband I'm the guardian and and and I you need

[35:02]to give me that money they disagree on this matter so here

[35:07]if they refer to or the Quran they'll understand that the husband

[35:11]is responsible of providing for his wife she's not responsible of providing

[35:16]sustenance of providing me for example food or water uh or other

[35:23]forms of sustenance to him he's the one who's responsible of uh

[35:34]of um sustaining her financially but she's not responsible of doing that

[35:39]so if they refer to the Quran the husband will realize oops

[35:43]I made a mistake it's on me to provide for her but

[35:48]it's not on her to provide for me again we're talking about

[35:51]what about money food drinks and the likes so by referring to

[36:01]and the Holy Quran they'll know exactly who's right and who's wrong

[36:09]and what should be done let me quickly finish the The Lesson

[36:13]by reading the tradition that speaks about and how they used as

[36:21]a judge this is a tradition that I've mentioned multiple times on

[36:25]the mimar I think I will keep on mentioning it until I

[36:28]pass away let me send it to you I won't read the

[36:48]full tradition I'll read part of it for today says that his

[36:55]father said SOI and they came to and they appointed him as

[37:07]a judge he says so they appointed the prophet as a judge

[37:10]to judge between them although they're infallible and they know their duties

[37:16]but they're teaching us a lesson you fallible human beings fallible spouses

[37:23]should appoint an infallible judge to judge between you in case you

[37:28]run into problems that you cannot solve or into disagreements that you

[37:32]cannot get rid of they came to Allah and they wanted him

[37:40]to judge between them regarding what regarding who responsible of what what's

[37:47]Ali's responsibility as a husband and what's Fatima's responsibility as a wife

[37:57]the prophet told Fatima that she was responsible of taking care of

[38:06]whatever lies behind the door meaning to take care of the house

[38:18]chores and he told aliam to take care of whatever lied out

[38:28]outside the door meaning he passed the following judgment oh Ali you

[38:35]are responsible of bringing food and other forms of sustenance to your

[38:41]family you are the one who goes out to work and you

[38:47]bring the money you bring the food the medication for example the

[38:51]drinks to your house as zah does what she takes care of

[38:58]the house she works inside Ali does what he works outside now

[39:04]there's what there's a balance each spouse has his his or her

[39:09]role the husband works outside the wife works inside there's a balance

[39:19]there's a balance that has been created this is one of the

[39:46]Islamic systems I'm going to conclude the lesson with this word perhaps

[39:49]we'll continue in the upcoming lesson this is one of the Islamic

[39:52]systems that is being greatly fought today greatly fought by one or

[40:01]multiple movements there are groups that do not want you know uh

[40:11]not want to see uh uh a state of peace and Harmony

[40:20]existing within households or within Islamic households and because of that they

[40:38]strive to pull the Muslims away from the system in one way

[40:47]or another we'll continue inshallah in the upcoming days

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BH- Lesson 21- Appoint the right judge! - Hamam Nassereddine

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BH- Lesson 21- Appoint the right judge! - Hamam Nassereddine

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