What to Look for in a Wife - Sayed Saleh Qazwini

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[0:00]foreign.

[0:25]for [Music] heal.

[0:57]for [Music] [Music] What is what?

[1:38][Music] for [Music] [Music] woman.

[2:05][Music] Woman [Music] for [Music] alaykum, brothers and sisters.

[3:12]Uh, Mecca will be having a youth bonfire tomorrow.

[3:14]Uh, we would love if everyone were to join.

[3:16]It will be at 8:20, ages 13 and up.

[3:19]Uh, Mecca will also be having a public hearing on Monday, September

[3:25]8th, 2025 at 6:30 p.m.

[3:25]Uh, we would love if you were to all join us.

[3:30]Uh, thank you for everything.

[3:31]Alhamdulillah.

[3:59]Alhamdulillah.

[4:09]Oh, [Music] Respected brothers and sisters, inshallah you are all doing well

[4:45]and may Allah accept all of your this month is the month

[4:52]of and there are many important Islamic occasions that took place during

[4:59]this month.

[5:01]Of course, the most important one which we will be celebrating in

[5:06]the upcoming days is the birth of and the birth of his

[5:13]greatgrandson.

[5:15]And of course there are other events.

[5:17]One of them was the hijra of the migration of the prophet

[5:24]from Medina from Mecca to Medina.

[5:26]And one of the important events that took place during the month

[5:34]of during the life of was his blessed marriage with say was

[5:45]the first wife of the prophet and for the majority of the

[5:51]life of Allah she was the only wife of the prophet.

[5:53]We talk about having multiple wives but this was something towards the

[6:01]end of the life of the prophet and they were for social,

[6:05]political, religious, educational reasons.

[6:09]But the lady who the prophet married and truly fell in love

[6:15]with and she gave him children and she believed in him and

[6:21]she sacrificed for him and with him and believed in him in

[6:25]the easy times and the difficult times was and married her 15

[6:36]years before his 15 years before him becoming a prophet.

[6:42]He was 25 years old, 25 years old because the prophet he

[6:47]officially became a prophet at the age of 40.

[6:51]When he was 25, he mared he married Khadijah and the anniversary

[6:59]the time and the date of the birth of Kadijah was on

[7:04]the 10th of and this great lady she became an example of

[7:11]a perfect wife.

[7:14]A wife that filled the eyes of where the prophet while he

[7:23]married his other wives, he had other wives at the same time.

[7:25]But while he was married to Khadijah, he did not look at

[7:30]any other lady.

[7:29]He did not think of marrying any other lady.

[7:33]Allah sallallahu alaihi remained committed and loyal to Khadijah.

[7:37]And even after her death, she died in Mecca, before the prophet

[7:44]even migrated to Medina.

[7:44]But after the death of a khadijah would constantly remember her.

[7:49]He would constantly mention her name.

[7:52]Sometimes her friends, they would come and would treat them well because

[8:02]they were the friends of the Khadijah.

[8:05]And this became to a point where even some of the current

[8:08]wives, the wives who were with the prophet at the time, they

[8:13]would become jealous of Khadijah who had passed away.

[8:16]So, and this is a hadith where she was the wife of

[8:21]the prophet.

[8:23]She says, she says when the prophet would remember, he would con

[8:35]constantly praise her and he would ask Allah subhana wa tala to

[8:43]bless her soul.

[8:41]So he says he remembered her one day and she says I

[8:48]became jealous.

[8:50]Now usually someone becomes jealous of someone who's living not someone who

[8:55]has passed away but she says I became jealous of so she

[9:00]says I told I tell him yeah Allah gave you younger more

[9:10]beautiful better she was an old lady she passed away so then

[9:15]she says I saw he became very angry at at what I

[9:22]said.

[9:20]And then he says, "She believed in me when others rejected me.

[9:31]And she took me in when others refused to take me in.

[9:38]And she believed in me when others considered me a liar.

[9:49]And I had children through her with her and you others you

[9:54]did not have children.

[9:55]And this was one of the miracles, one of the something that

[10:01]was significant and special about Khadijah is that she is the mother

[10:04]of the children of the prophet.

[10:05]The prophet had other wives.

[10:07]They would not have children.

[10:08]One of them had a child and that was Marapya.

[10:14]She had Ibraim and Ibraim died when he was 18 months old.

[10:17]Whereas all the other wives, all the other wives, they did not

[10:23]have children.

[10:22]And when you think about it, there's some type of miracle in

[10:27]this where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wanted to confine the children of

[10:32]through and through and im Ali.

[10:39]So as we talk about this great honorable lady Khadijah, this opens

[10:46]up a discussion on what a person should look for in a

[10:51]wife.

[10:52]Because Khadijah was truly a remarkable wife.

[10:55]A wife that gave that sense of happiness and sense of contentment

[11:03]and sense of satisfaction where the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasall did not

[11:10]even feel the need to marry anyone else because he was with

[11:12]Khadijah and he would constantly remember this great lady.

[11:19]And when it comes to marriage, marriage is probably one of the

[11:24]most who you marry.

[11:27]This is probably one of the most important consequential decisions that a

[11:33]person makes in their life because you're choosing someone.

[11:36]This is not a business partner.

[11:38]You're choosing someone that you're going to be living with, that you're

[11:41]going to be having children with, that you're going to grow old

[11:46]with.

[11:47]So this person has a huge impact on your life and you

[11:49]also have a huge impact on their life.

[11:52]So there's a chance that you could impact one another.

[11:57]And this is why it is very important to find someone that

[12:04]is compatible with you.

[12:05]To find someone that is good for you, to find someone that

[12:08]is good for your life, good for your afterlife, good for your

[12:14]children, good for everything.

[12:14]You have to think of everything when you're getting married.

[12:17]And a lot of times when people at the time of marriage,

[12:22]they make a rush decision.

[12:23]For example, they will marry someone because of one feature in that

[12:28]person's life.

[12:29]A guys, they see a lady for example, they say she's beautiful,

[12:33]therefore that's it.

[12:36]I'm just going to go ahead and marry her.

[12:39]Re not taking into regard into consideration everything else.

[12:42]Or sometimes you might see someone and you only have a tunnel

[12:45]vision.

[12:46]We only look at one aspect, one dimension of their life and

[12:51]we don't look at anything else and this is wrong.

[12:52]Now of course when it comes to marriage everyone makes sometimes you

[12:58]make a good decision and sometimes the decision is not so good

[13:02]and Allah subhana t even mentions that some of the prophets in

[13:04]the Quran they struggled with their wives.

[13:07]Some of the Allah gave the example of two women who were

[13:24]the wives of prophets.

[13:27]One was the life of prophetam and the other was the wife

[13:32]of prophet l but they betrayed them.

[13:35]They betrayed them.

[13:34]So it is common that a person could be tested with who

[13:41]they are married with and sometimes there is no compatibility.

[13:43]There is you're not at the same level and this makes life

[13:51]more difficult.

[13:49]But to avoid that this is why Islam gives us a criteria

[13:56]of what to look for and what kind of a decision should

[13:59]we make.

[14:00]We should not rush into this decision.

[14:03]Now, while Islam says you should hasten and get married quickly and

[14:08]don't delay this matter, some people they delay it until, you know,

[14:15]they're well into their their 30s, 40s, and they they keep delaying

[14:18]it.

[14:18]This is not healthy.

[14:18]You ask them why, they say, I haven't found the right person.

[14:24]I mean, it shouldn't be that long.

[14:26]But at the same time, you don't just go and marry the

[14:28]first person that you see as well.

[14:30]There's two types of extremes.

[14:36]Either you delay it so much or you rush into it.

[14:37]No.

[14:38]Islam says make marriage a priority but ma make sure that you

[14:45]consider who you are marrying and this is something that is very

[14:49]important.

[14:50]So today we are focusing on what to what should what you

[14:54]should look for in a wife.

[14:59]So maybe inshallah next week we will um say what we're what

[15:01]you should look for in a husband.

[15:03]Now of course a lot of these are very similar.

[15:07]A lot of these probably the same the the same thing that

[15:11]you should look for here you should probably look for there.

[15:14]There are some differences and I I tried to resort to hadith

[15:19]of the imams of the al to see what they say because

[15:25]after all the Quran says you have the best role model.

[15:37]Now typically from my experience when I ask some of the young

[15:40]men what do you want to marry?

[15:42]what qualities you want to look for.

[15:43]What's the first thing they say?

[15:46]They say she has to be very beautiful.

[15:50]And this is a reality.

[15:53]This is not a joke.

[15:53]This is a reality that a lot of people have.

[15:57]But I tell him, habibi, when you are only focused on beauty,

[16:02]don't forget that beauty fades.

[16:07]Just like your hairline fades, just like your six-pack fades, just like

[16:10]the money in your bank account is going to fade, everything goes

[16:14]away.

[16:15]This is why it's important to look for the inner beauty.

[16:18]It's important to look for the beauty that remains because the outer

[16:25]beauty, the apparent beauty, eventually everyone goes away.

[16:28]The most beautiful person, the most beautiful person, eventually their body is

[16:34]going to give up on them.

[16:35]Eventually that skin is not going to be as beautiful.

[16:39]The the hair, the every all of that is all it's all

[16:45]going to fade.

[16:45]And this is something very natural because we're all in that cycle

[16:51]where we reach our peak and then we start going down.

[16:53]But a beautiful heart, a beautiful mind, these are things that truly

[17:01]keep the marriage together and keep the marriage healthy.

[17:03]So what are some things to look for in a wife?

[17:09]Number one, I believe that probably the first thing that one should

[17:15]look for is maturity.

[17:17]Having that sense of intellectual maturity, having that sense of responsibility.

[17:24]You know, we live in a time where marriage is just glamorous

[17:29]right now.

[17:29]People get married so that they could take a picture and put

[17:33]it on their Instagram.

[17:32]That's why they're doing it.

[17:34]People are getting married because of the nice wedding dress and the

[17:41]the uh wedding gown and saying I did this.

[17:45]It's just a bucket list.

[17:45]And the sense of maturity, the sense of responsibility is not there.

[17:50]Sometimes you might see someone they are financially mature but they are

[17:56]ethically immature.

[17:58]Or you might see someone they're physically they're physically mature but in

[18:06]terms of their religion in terms of assuming and taking care of

[18:09]a family and taking care of a responsibility their responsibilities they are

[18:15]not there when it comes to marriage.

[18:18]Just as the husband there are duties and responsibilities for the husband

[18:23]there are duties and responsibilities for a wife.

[18:24]Some people they get married, they just want to they just only

[18:29]think of the fun part of it where I'm just going to

[18:31]have the wedding and the nice the wedding shower and this event

[18:36]and that event and we're not thinking about what's the day after

[18:39]and a lot of people get shocked.

[18:41]This is why you see people they come and they do their

[18:46]marriage and then 6 months later they call they say we're running

[18:49]into problems.

[18:51]Why?

[18:49]Because at the time of the marriage they were not thinking of

[18:55]what their responsibilities are.

[18:55]What it means to be a wife, what it means to be

[19:00]a husband, what it means to fulfill your responsibilities.

[19:02]And this is why it's important to look for maturity.

[19:07]Maturity means intellectual maturity.

[19:11]means understanding that marriage is not all fun and all beauty and

[19:16]all enjoyment and all Instagram and all taking care of all pictures.

[19:19]No, marriage has its easy days and it also has its difficult

[19:26]days.

[19:24]Marriage has its struggles.

[19:27]Marriage has its challenges.

[19:28]There are many days where you're going to struggle in your marriage.

[19:31]You're going to be tested.

[19:33]This marriage is going to be tested one day, two days, every

[19:37]day is going to be tested.

[19:37]People with low levels of maturity as soon as they're tested what

[19:42]do they do?

[19:43]They come and they say I want to get divorced.

[19:46]I can't handle this anymore because they are not ready to assume

[19:50]and take the responsibilities.

[19:52]So this is why it's very important when looking for someone especially

[19:58]looking for a wife who's going to be your partner in life.

[20:00]She's going to be the mother of your children and she's going

[20:03]to be the most influential person in the family.

[20:07]Whether we like it or not, the mother and the wife, she's

[20:12]the one that is the most influential person in the family.

[20:14]Yes, in Islam, the head of the household is the husband.

[20:19]But the true head of the household that chooses the direction of

[20:22]which way the family is going is the mother and that's the

[20:29]wife.

[20:26]So this is why when you're looking for a wife, you have

[20:31]to make sure you find someone that is mature, intellectually mature, someone

[20:35]that understands her responsibilities, someone that knows that marriage is not just

[20:42]all fun and games, but there are responsibilities and duties.

[20:46]And this is what Islam teaches us.

[20:49]And there are signs to look for.

[20:50]You look, for example, who are her friends?

[20:53]How does she spend her time?

[20:55]How does she dress?

[20:58]All of these things, they are signs of maturity in a person.

[21:00]Well, and this this could apply to a man or to a

[21:04]woman.

[21:04]You look at these signs and you will be able to see

[21:09]what kind of trajectory this person's life is going.

[21:10]What kind of what are they passionate about?

[21:13]You you talk to someone for 5 minutes and you find out

[21:18]what they're passionate about in life.

[21:19]And that is a huge indicator of their maturity and their responsibility.

[21:24]In a hadith from Im Mus Kadam Alisam, he was with a

[21:28]group.

[21:29]This is narrated in al kafi.

[21:29]He was sitting with a group of people and they began to

[21:35]talk about what are the best qualities in a wife.

[21:39]What are the best qualities in a lady?

[21:41]So this person said something that person that person each one said

[21:46]something until in the end he says He says the best is

[22:07]the one that meaning someone that number one you're attracted to, someone

[22:16]that you have a desire towards.

[22:18]But then he also says she has intellect.

[22:24]She has that intellectual maturity, that understanding, that level of responsibility and

[22:31]also morality and ethics.

[22:37]If she has that, she has the and you are attracted to

[22:41]her and she has the the the respect, then you don't need

[22:45]to constantly tell her you need to do this and you need

[22:47]to do that.

[22:48]she's going to lead the family.

[22:50]And this is what the Imam says.

[22:52]And then in another im Ali, he says, he says, be very

[23:07]careful not to marry someone that is a fool.

[23:10]Now there are fools who are men and there are fools who

[23:13]are women.

[23:15]He says be very careful not to marry a lady that is

[23:23]a fool, a lady that is foolish.

[23:23]Why?

[23:24]He says being with her, this is going to bring this is

[23:30]going to bring calamities and catastrophes upon you and upon your family.

[23:35]And her children are lost.

[23:39]Meaning she's not going to be able to raise children properly.

[23:41]she's not going to be able to assume the responsibility and the

[23:48]duties within a marriage within a family.

[23:52]So this is why it's very important to make wise decision and

[23:56]marry someone that is understanding and someone that has that intellectual maturity.

[24:14]Another amlaykum.

[24:22]>> So we mentioned the first point to look for in a

[24:27]wife is someone that has that intellectual maturity and level of understanding

[24:33]and taking of a responsibility within a marriage.

[24:37]This is number one.

[24:39]Number two, if someone has the automatically what follows?

[24:43]If you have what follows next?

[24:46]Your leads you to what?

[24:50]If you have a it will lead you to having stronger im.

[24:54]And this is why I said is number one.

[24:57]And there are many narrations about this.

[25:00]It says when you if you have the it will lead you

[25:05]to have imus someone that has the real understanding real level of

[25:12]maturity then they're going to have the iman.

[25:14]And iman is very important.

[25:15]Faith is very important not only in a marriage but in your

[25:21]life.

[25:19]Faith helps you deal with challenges.

[25:21]Faith helps you navigate your life.

[25:27]It gives you the compass of how to lead your life and

[25:30]what kind of decisions you make.

[25:31]And faith protects a person from making destructive decisions in life.

[25:36]Destructive decisions that impact your life and impact your afterlife.

[25:43]Someone has faith, they're not going to hurt you.

[25:44]Someone has faith, they're not go going to oppress you.

[25:49]Someone has faith, they're not going to lie.

[25:52]Not because lying is something that is immoral and unethical because it

[25:55]is, but in addition to that, because God is watching because Allah

[25:59]subhana wa tala is there because they believe that Allah is watching.

[26:05]So therefore, everything you do in life, if you have faith and

[26:08]if your partner has has faith, then you're going to do it

[26:10]and you're going to think twice about it.

[26:12]you're going to reconsider anything that you're going to do if it's

[26:18]immoral, if it's unethical, if it's going to cause pain for someone.

[26:22]And this is something that is very important.

[26:25]And we need to not only find someone to marry that has

[26:29]faith, but even people that you surround yourself with, even your friends,

[26:33]even your co-workers, even people that you spend your time with, because

[26:37]they'll rub off on you.

[26:40]It will impact you.

[26:40]And this is why this is something that is very important.

[26:46]And if a wife who becomes the mother is someone that has

[26:51]faith then generation after generation will be faithful.

[26:56]There was a scholarhari anyone who enters into the house they have

[27:03]to read his books.

[27:06]his book in and his book on he became a he became

[27:14]a grand they told his mother they told his mother that your

[27:20]son became the congratulations she said I'm not surprised I'm not surprised

[27:25]that my son became the mjah they told her how you I

[27:28]mean this is this is one in a million one in many

[27:32]millions someone becomes the grand mar of the She says, "No, because

[27:38]the way I raised him, I knew he was going to become

[27:41]great." They told her, "What did you do?" She says, "Every time

[27:46]I fed him, every time I nursed him, when he was a

[27:48]baby, when he was a newborn, I would be in the state

[27:52]of woo." How hard is that?

[27:54]Probably only the mothers would know how hard that is to be

[27:59]in a state of woo.

[27:59]Every time you feed you feed your child.

[28:02]Every time you suckle your child to be in the state of

[28:06]wudoo.

[28:06]Sometimes in the middle of the night the child is hungry she

[28:08]gets up and she has to do woo.

[28:12]And they didn't have tap water that becomes warm in 15 seconds

[28:15]over there.

[28:16]Sometimes if it's in in the winter you have to do woo

[28:18]in the cold water.

[28:20]If it's hot you have to do aloo in the hot water.

[28:26]So this is the impact and the role that a mother has.

[28:29]So this is why it's very important to look for the faith

[28:33]in a person when you're marrying that person.

[28:36]And in a hadith from he says if a man marries a

[28:48]lady for her beauty apparent beauty or for her wealth then that

[28:51]is what he is going to have.

[28:58]But if you marry a lady for her faith, that's your number

[29:03]one priority.

[29:04]You will see the wealth, the sustenance, because the sustenance doesn't come

[29:08]from her.

[29:07]It comes from Allah.

[29:09]You will see the you will see the sustenance and you will

[29:12]see the jamal as well.

[29:14]You will see the beauty because beauty is in the eyes of

[29:15]the beholder.

[29:17]You will be able to see beauty.

[29:20]In another hadith, this is also an al kafi.

[29:26]He says, he says the biggest benefit that a man could have

[29:41]after Islam and after believing in God, the greatest benefit and gains

[29:48]that a person could have is to have a wife that is

[29:52]mina.

[29:53]A wife that is a believing lady when she look when he

[29:59]looks at her he becomes happy.

[30:01]This is number one.

[30:01]Second and she is obedient.

[30:08]And in Islam there's a level of obedience and respect within a

[30:11]marriage.

[30:12]So she will respect him and she will obey him if he

[30:16]is telling her to do that which is halal, that which is

[30:19]good.

[30:20]Not when he is telling her to do something wrong.

[30:25]And she will protect him when he is not there in herself.

[30:30]Meaning she will not allow others to come and maybe look at

[30:34]her in a way or or take advantage of her in a

[30:39]way and she will also protect his wealth and she will protect

[30:44]his assets that which she is protecting and she is sharing with

[30:47]him.

[30:48]So this is number two.

[30:49]Number three, my dear brothers and sisters, we said the first, look

[30:54]for a lady that has the the intellectual maturity.

[30:56]Second, having and third, someone that has good manners, someone that has

[31:03]goodl, someone that has a kind heart.

[31:07]This is something very important and this is probably the most attractive

[31:11]feature in any person right now.

[31:16]Find someone that is extremely beautiful but they have bad alak.

[31:20]Are you going to like this person?

[31:21]Are you going to be attracted to this person?

[31:23]No.

[31:24]After a while, you're going to start hating this person.

[31:30]Find someone that's extremely wealthy, but they are rude.

[31:34]They are very angry and grumpy all the time.

[31:37]Are you going to are you going to be able to live

[31:41]with this person?

[31:41]You can't.

[31:42]But someone that has goodl good manners this is a very attractive

[31:46]quality and trait.

[31:48]And this is why when Allah talks about the prophets the the

[31:53]messengers what what attracted people to them was their Allah says it's

[32:01]not the money it's not the looks that attracted people to the

[32:06]prophets.

[32:05]It's the and the manners and the fact that they were accommodating

[32:10]to other people.

[32:10]the fact that they were tolerant to people that are different from

[32:15]them.

[32:13]And this is also something to look for in a spouse.

[32:18]So something to look for in a wife.

[32:20]And here a wife that has good manners, you see, and goodl

[32:28]her husband's going to love her no matter what.

[32:32]one of the companions of he says we were sitting with when

[32:40]we began to discuss women and their virtues.

[32:43]I guess this is a topic everyone talks about, huh?

[32:47]We're always talking about women.

[32:48]Even Jab, he says, we were we were sitting with the prophet

[32:50]and we were talking about women and their virtues.

[32:53]What's good in a lady?

[32:57]So he says, he says, "Shall I not inform you of the

[33:01]best of your women?

[33:04]Should I tell you who are the best of your women?" So

[33:08]then they tell him, "Yes, we want to hear from you." So

[33:12]says, The best amongst your woman is the one who is loving

[33:22]and aloud meaning the one that is fertile.

[33:25]Now of course there are some people Allah subhana wa ta has

[33:31]tested them in their life where they're unable to have.

[33:33]This is a test from Allah and this is a very difficult

[33:38]test.

[33:38]But this does not mean that if a lady or a man

[33:39]they are infertile, they cannot have a ch child that this does

[33:44]not apply to them.

[33:44]But we're talking about someone who is for example able to have

[33:49]children but they say no I don't want to because I want

[33:51]to I'm selfish.

[33:52]I want to think about my fun and I only want to

[33:55]think about myself.

[33:55]This this is what this hadith is referring to.

[34:19]He says, "The best among the best of your woman is the

[34:25]one who is loving and fertile, modest and chast, has chastity, honored

[34:32]honored among her family and her family.

[34:37]She's honored.

[34:39]But with her husband, she's also humble.

[34:42]With her husband, yet humble with her husband who beautifies herself for

[34:48]who?

[34:49]For people in the street or for social media.

[34:53]No, she beautifies herself for her husband.

[34:54]This is the halal beautifification.

[34:58]This is what people should focus on.

[35:00]But often times you find the beauty is for outside the house

[35:02]and inside the house.

[35:03]It's not there.

[35:05]So he says who beautifies herself for her husband and guards herself

[35:10]from others.

[35:15]But in front of others she guards herself.

[35:18]Meaning she does not she does not joke with other people.

[35:22]She's not smiling with other people in an inappropriate way that's going

[35:27]to attract negative attention.

[35:28]listens to his word and obeys his command.

[35:31]When she is alone with him, she offers him what he desires

[35:36]from her.

[35:38]But she does not behave towards him with the manner of men.

[35:41]This is the hadith of now I know maybe some feminist maybe

[35:47]some people might not like this but this is these are the

[35:52]words of the prophets.

[35:52]These are not my words.

[35:57]These are words that will be eternal.

[35:58]And this this is his cheat code for a happy life for

[36:03]a happy marriage.

[36:03]You want to have a happy marriage listen to the prophets and

[36:06]listen to what the Quran is saying.

[36:12]In another hadith from he says he says the best of your

[36:27]women are the gentle, the softnatured, the accommodating, the one who if

[36:34]her husband becomes angry does not rest until he is pleased.

[36:38]And when he is sisters, don't worry, next week I'm going to

[36:42]talk about the brothers.

[36:46]So such a woman is one who is of the workers of

[36:48]Allah.

[36:49]And whoever is a worker of Allah, Allah will never let them

[36:53]down.

[36:54]Meaning this is the one that is doing that which Allah wants.

[36:58]Being good with your husband, being someone that fulfills the responsibilities and

[37:04]the duties.

[37:03]This is what God wants.

[37:05]This is what will bring you closer to Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

[37:08]Don't think about it that I'm I'm doing something maybe I I

[37:12]shouldn't be doing this if if it's in the halal if it's

[37:15]right then that's what God wants and that's what will protect the

[37:18]family and that's what will protect generations of generations.

[37:23]This was number three.

[37:25]Number four, a wife that is supportive of her husband.

[37:28]Sometimes the husband has a project and the wife has a pro.

[37:35]They're both living individual lives.

[37:36]She's doing something and she's doing something else.

[37:39]Amin is someone that supports her husband.

[37:42]The same way today we are remembering Khadijah.

[37:47]Khadijah she gave everything that she had.

[37:48]All of her money, all of her wealth, she gave it in

[37:51]the way of why?

[37:53]Because she supported him.

[37:56]Because she believed in him.

[37:58]Because she had faith in him.

[37:59]And the same way she supported Fat Zah, no one would see

[38:07]the shadow of Fat Z.

[38:07]But when it came time, she put on her and she went

[38:12]to the masjid and she delivered a sermon.

[38:14]Why?

[38:15]Because of fedc because of money or because of land?

[38:20]Of course not.

[38:20]The Bates were not after that.

[38:21]She wanted to prove them that you are wrong and you are

[38:27]oppressing of.

[38:28]And in the from he says the best wife is the lady

[38:35]that [Music] meaning she helps his her husband in his and in

[38:49]his she'll wake him up for for prayer and she'll also wake

[38:52]him up for work.

[38:54]Tell him yall it's time to go.

[38:56]This is this is good.

[38:56]And but she does not work against him.

[39:00]Meaning if he's stressed, if he's going through difficulties, if he's going

[39:04]through challenges, she doesn't make life worse for him.

[39:08]One day he comes home and he sees there's no food in

[39:11]the house.

[39:12]So he tells there's no food.

[39:14]Why didn't you tell me?

[39:17]She tells him, "Yeah, I know that if you have, you're going

[39:19]to bring.

[39:20]I didn't want to make life more difficult for you by coming

[39:23]and and making it difficult for you where you know you you

[39:29]can't bring this is this is someone that is supportive.

[39:31]And number five and the fifth and last point that we'll mention

[39:35]is to marry someone that you are attracted to.

[39:38]Now I know we say don't look for don't have looks be

[39:44]number one but looks should be something because at the end of

[39:47]the day you have to find someone that you are attracted to

[39:52]and a man during the life of Imam he tells the imam

[39:56]he tells him I saw a lady that I am attracted to

[40:01]but my father and my parents they want me to marry someone

[40:04]else they're telling me to marry someone else but I am attracted

[40:11]to one person he says marry the one that you are attracted

[40:23]to because there has to be some level of attraction and this

[40:25]is why attraction is something that creates compatibility and it's very important

[40:31]to look for compatibility these days we remember the marriage of Khadijam

[40:36]who had all of these features And she became the best wife

[40:47]for one that many years after her death would continue remembering her

[40:52]and showing that admiration and that sense of attachment towards her.

[40:56]We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to help those who are not

[41:00]married to help them find good spouses.

[41:01]And this is something that is very important to and it's a

[41:08]sign of maturity.

[41:09]When you find a good spouse, it's a sign of maturity.

[41:11]If you don't find a good spouse, it's a sign of immaturity

[41:16]on your end as well because sometimes people are in a rush

[41:19]and they go and they find someone that is not suitable for

[41:21]them.

[41:22]We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bless you all to to

[41:26]help and support all of those who are not married.

[41:28]We help we we ask Allah to help them get married and

[41:33]support them.

[41:34]And alhamdulillah.

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