Focus In The Age Of Distraction - MYCast Episode 2 | Celebration of The Birth of Heroes of Karbala

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Focus In The Age Of Distraction - MYCast Episode 2 | Celebration of The Birth of Heroes of Karbala Speakers (right to left): Sayed Ahmed Qazwini, Sheikh Mohammed Al-Hilli, Sister Charlene Makky Location: Islamic Institute of America #muslim #shia #shiaislam #shiavssuni #islam #karbala #imam #imamhussain #hussain #husaynibnali #hussainibnali #topic #sayed #SMBQ #qazwini #sayedmohammadbaqer #sayedmohammedbaqerqazwini #sayedqazwini #mecca #imamhussaininmecca #sad #journey #muharram #muharram2025 #zarud #zarude #karbala #hussainkarbala #abbas#alialakbar #aliakbar #zaynab #zainab #imamhusayn #birth #party #celebration #bbas #zaynalabideen #rajab #shaaban

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Transcript

[0:00]Assalam alalayikum everyone.

[0:04]Thank you for attending and being here tonight.

[0:08]Uh we are honored to be gathered here on this beautiful occasion

[0:12]for Imm Hussein and Immad and Abu Abbas.

[0:16]We are also honored to have with us our esteemed scholars say

[0:21]Ahmed Kazwini and Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hili.

[0:23]So thank you both for being here for this conversation.

[0:27]Um before we dive in, I think that it's very valuable for

[0:34]this generation, especially in in you know today's age that we feel

[0:38]like we can connect with our scholars beyond a professional setting um

[0:46]as real people navigating real life.

[0:51]So I want to start by asking something a little light um

[0:54]which is what does a normal day look like for the both

[1:00]of you when you are not on the menbar should we take

[1:07]no [laughter] sisters and brothers it's a great honor thank you so

[1:18]much uh for setting this up um a day without the member

[1:23]and what else?

[1:24]Just just a normal day.

[1:25]>> Yep.

[1:27]Just >> every day is different.

[1:29]That's I think the beauty of this kind of work.

[1:32]You meet so many different people.

[1:34]You engage in so many different activities.

[1:34]But it involves a lot of reading, a lot of research, um

[1:40]conversing with people, finding this and this and other.

[1:45]But for me, a key part has to be family.

[1:47]So I have to give if I'm not traveling even if I'm

[1:49]traveling part of it is to spend time with my wife children

[1:56]um dedicate a bit you know some activities if I can um

[1:59]as much as I possibly time allows me everyone.

[2:08]So with me, you know, I have to admit that it's very

[2:13]hard to separate between my um you know, professional work and my

[2:19]private life because a lot of the the work that I carry,

[2:26]it drags onto my private life.

[2:27]So there really isn't a day off for me because even days

[2:33]that I want to take off, you're still getting messages all the

[2:36]time, you know, on WhatsApp, text messages, uh, with Islamic questions, you

[2:41]know, I have every day I've allocated, uh, anywhere from 20 minutes

[2:45]to an hour just going through messages and answering people's questions.

[2:48]And, you know, a lot of that requires research.

[2:51]You have to look at the fatwas of the scholars.

[2:55]you have to think, you know, how to reply to to some

[2:57]of those questions, people that have problems.

[3:00]And um alhamdulillah, chat GPT has helped, I have to admit.

[3:07]Um it's it's slowly learning to um and adapting to my style,

[3:10]even though it's not there yet, but alhamdulillah, maybe 50% of the

[3:18]work it um it's uh it's taking care of it.

[3:19]And then people call all the time, you know, we're kind of

[3:23]like on call as as scholars.

[3:24]People call me sometimes at like 10 p.m.

[3:27]and they they have an issue.

[3:28]Like the other day some guy was fighting with his wife and

[3:33]then right away he takes picks up his phone and he calls

[3:35]me say, you know, I'm in an argument with my wife.

[3:39]She doesn't want to pray.

[3:40]She doesn't want to do this.

[3:41]Okay, first of all, what can I do for you at 10

[3:44]p.m.

[3:44]Uh but second of all, you know, people just want you to

[3:49]be there as a scholar.

[3:49]So there isn't really a normal day that you know you're even

[3:53]when you're away from the masjid you're not in you know in

[3:59]the memb or at the mosque I think it always drags uh

[4:03]to the house and that's something that also uh takes away from

[4:06]family time.

[4:07]So, yes, I do enjoy family time, but that's what probably the

[4:10]the biggest complaint from my wife and kids is, you know, we're

[4:13]having dinner or we're out somewhere and then someone calls and they

[4:18]have a divorce issue, some some uh, you know, son in the

[4:21]community or daughter is dealing with some parent in the community is

[4:25]dealing with drugs or whatnot of their kids and you can't even

[4:28]talk about it where you are.

[4:31]So it is it is a little difficult but alhamdulillah but when

[4:33]you when you love what you do I mean there you can't

[4:38]really separate it from from your life.

[4:40]>> Okay.

[4:41]I'll be a little more specific.

[4:43]I because yesterday she you mentioned that you actually enjoy baking.

[4:46]>> Okay.

[4:48]Yeah.

[4:47]>> I'm sorry to put you on the spot.

[4:51]Is there something that um people would be surprised to know that

[4:55]you both enjoy like hobbywise?

[4:56]you know, just something aside from baking because you mentioned baking.

[5:00][laughter] >> Um, so [sighs] unfortunately my life is is a little

[5:08]boring.

[5:09]I don't think, you know, I don't go hunting or climbing or

[5:12]any of that stuff.

[5:15]Um, so I don't think there's anything that would surprise people.

[5:19]Now I used to have some hobbies you know when I was

[5:25]younger before I went to the house but when you get isolated

[5:27]from you know from the community and it's just studies and you

[5:31]know obviously the Middle East isn't like here you kind of forget

[5:36]them.

[5:36]For example, I used to be an avid basketball player.

[5:37]And I don't know, maybe some of the older members here in

[5:43]the beginning days of the YMA, this is like the early 2000s,

[5:46]uh, an essential part of the Friday night programs was there had

[5:51]to be basketball.

[5:52]And we did it at the gym, the Maya gym.

[5:55]And, um, you know, we have to try to stay humble, but

[6:00]I was pretty good at basketball.

[6:01]And I even played uh you know with with my school's team

[6:07]one year.

[6:06]But when you go to you know Iran, nobody even knows what

[6:11]basketball is there.

[6:10]You could buy barely find a basketball room.

[6:14]It's all soccer.

[6:14]Everybody loves soccer.

[6:16]And I never really liked it.

[6:17]I just had to force myself to play it.

[6:19]So I would say maybe basketball.

[6:20]I still like it.

[6:22]I enjoy it.

[6:22]You know, when I take my kids to Chuck-E-Cheese, they have those

[6:26]small basketball games.

[6:27]I'll usually go and play there if I get bored.

[6:31]But besides that, yeah, I guess our life is really just spend

[6:34]time with family and reading, you know, not too much excitement there.

[6:38]Uh for me, I'd have to say two things.

[6:40]Number one, uh football, >> UK football.

[6:47]The only thing I agree with Donald Trump.

[6:49]Um that it should be football.

[6:50]Yes.

[6:51]Not soccer.

[6:52]Um but uh I I play I play regularly every Wednesday to

[6:56]be honest.

[6:57]uh with a number of my Shia brothers, Ha brothers.

[7:02]And the difficulty there is, you know, it gets competitive.

[7:04]So I play in defense and sometimes I have to for the

[7:12]sake of Allah foul people um because uh it just happens.

[7:14]The hardest thing is when I'm playing with these brothers that I

[7:20]see regularly, the next day I'm sitting on the member and they're

[7:22]sitting like they're watching me and all they can think of why

[7:25]did you do that yesterday, you know, and I'm telling them be

[7:28]patient of Allah.

[7:30]They're like, yes, you could say that now, but yesterday on the

[7:32]field, you weren't really practicing what you were preaching.

[7:36]Uh, and the second thing is I love baking the Iraqi cliche.

[7:40]Do people know what that is?

[7:43]Of course, the Iraqis know the Lebanese it's the Mahm but the

[7:48]Mahm is a fake [laughter] because anyway I don't want to go

[7:57]into it because that sensitive sensitive topic >> it's a sensitive topic

[8:00]but I'm willing to debate this we can have a separate discussion

[8:02]on this uh because the Mahm has a number of features which

[8:08]the kche doesn't and it's got sugar and much more oil but

[8:10]the cliche is the authentic you know, you really feel the kind

[8:15]of homey uh if if it's especially made at home, which mostly

[8:17]it is.

[8:19]Um, but I do love Lebanese foods.

[8:21]It's not an this debate about which is better.

[8:25]Each has its own pros and cons.

[8:26]So, those are the two things.

[8:27]>> Okay.

[8:28]Thank you both.

[8:30]Uh, see that helps.

[8:30]It helps to you know see our scholars that we look up

[8:34]to and gain so much knowledge from to see them live normal

[8:37]life and you know just uh see them navigate the same world

[8:42]that we do.

[8:42]So um which brings us to the topic for tonight.

[8:46]We have titled this conversation focus in the age of distraction.

[8:51]So based on what you both see in your communities cuz um

[8:57]you have the Dearborn community and you have the UK community.

[9:01]Um what what do you do you think that distractions have become

[9:07]one of the biggest struggles of our time and do you think

[9:12]it's due to phones and social media or do you think it's

[9:15]something deeper?

[9:16]So I'll let whichever of you >> uh I think to start

[9:22]off with I have a challenge uh not for myself because I'm

[9:24]using it for notes but imagine in the next hour everybody here

[9:29]and those watching online is it live?

[9:32]>> Yes.

[9:33]>> Okay.

[9:34]Those watching online for the next hour see if you can not

[9:38]check your phone.

[9:39]see if that's possible, you know, uh if you resist the urge

[9:45]to take, you know, somehow see the messages and so on.

[9:48]And I think it's going to be difficult because most of us

[9:53]now inadvertently are somehow owned or controlled by the gadgets that we

[9:57]utilize.

[9:58]Um if you're on a plane which has no Wi-Fi, you feel

[10:00]edgy.

[10:01]You want to be in touch with people and so on and

[10:04]so forth.

[10:05]We are at the age of distraction.

[10:07]I think there is a pandemic and I refer to it as

[10:12]the distraction pandemic and this is because our concentration spans now are

[10:18]very very short.

[10:17]Um what is it doing?

[10:22]this connectivity, it's creating um an overload, cognitive overload.

[10:26]And that basically means we're bombarded with images and videos and stimuli

[10:31]all the time, right?

[10:33]And we're trying to process.

[10:34]And what happens is because of all the information that we're presented

[10:38]with wherever we look, especially on our phones, it's creating that need

[10:44]to have the dopamine search.

[10:45]You've all heard about it, the happy hormone.

[10:48]So I sit there and I scroll for hours and sometimes I

[10:50]don't even become notice I don't notice that I've spent so much

[10:54]time and in today's age as well I think I mean it

[10:59]will be interesting to hear what people uh the brothers and sisters

[11:02]also feel about this but I think it's very much harder to

[11:06]focus on a task um without being distracted by a message or

[11:10]somebody saying something or whatever even on a in a lecture or

[11:15]a medulus I'm pretty sure like yesterday specific Speifically my speech was

[11:21]52 minutes and I have stud I've seen statistics that sh say

[11:25]in a 45minut lecture people's focus is 40%.

[11:32]60% their minds are somewhere else and within this 40% what they

[11:39]actually absorb and they understand is 20% on average.

[11:40]Right?

[11:41]So it is a challenge out there today and what has been

[11:47]shown today on average we get distracted for a task after 11

[11:52]minutes and then it takes us 22 minutes to get back on

[11:55]average to the task that we were set out to do as

[12:00]a result of the distraction.

[12:00]Right?

[12:01]So it is today unfortunately I think a challenge that faces all

[12:08]of most of us except those who are not on uh technology

[12:10]which is very rare.

[12:12]Um and I think that's why I think such an important discussion

[12:15]that we can somehow help each other.

[12:17]It's not all doom and gloom.

[12:18]I think it's it is something part of you know development in

[12:23]society and technological advances but we've got to not allow technology to

[12:27]control our lives.

[12:27]We have to be in control.

[12:31]And at the moment I sense people are enslaved by their gadgets.

[12:37]>> Yeah.

[12:38]Just to add on that I do believe that it's uh it's

[12:42]become one of the biggest distractions in life.

[12:45]And u what it's done it's made conversations even very difficult.

[12:50]It's hard to even speak to someone listen to them when your

[12:54]phone is next to you.

[12:56]Right?

[12:57]because you you have that urge to always pick up the phone

[12:58]even when you don't receive notifications.

[13:01]Um I don't know if you're aware of they they've even coined

[13:06]a phrase called fubbing.

[13:07]You know what that means?

[13:08]Anyone's heard of fubbing?

[13:09]So umh talk to me for just say tell me anything.

[13:15]>> Alhamdulillah I'm wearing white because it's so much snow in Detroit

[13:19]and Dearborn.

[13:20]>> So So fubbing is when you're talking to me.

[13:23]I'm going like this.

[13:26]Uh-huh.

[13:27]Oh yeah.

[13:25]Yeah.

[13:26]What?

[13:27]Oh, okay.

[13:28]So, this is something that everybody does.

[13:30]I just fubbed you if I did that, right?

[13:34]It's taken from phone plus I don't know, snubbing.

[13:35]I I don't I don't know where what's the the origin of

[13:39]the word.

[13:41]But this is something that you see on a daily basis and

[13:43]we even do it.

[13:45]You're talking to someone, but they're on their phone and they're pretending

[13:48]like they're listening to you.

[13:49]>> Husband and wife do it a lot.

[13:53]No.

[13:51]>> All the time.

[13:53]All the time.

[13:54]And me personally, I can't stand that.

[13:57]You know, when I see someone fubbing me, I don't tolerate that.

[13:59]I just I end the meeting or I get up and do

[14:04]something else.

[14:02]And the the worst thing is when they pretend like, yeah, they

[14:07]know what you what you said and after like five minutes you

[14:10]said a story.

[14:12]Wait, wait, wait.

[14:11]Could you repeat what you said?

[14:13]Which one?

[14:14]Go back five minutes in time.

[14:16]So, it's it's making normal conversations very difficult.

[14:21]And I've seen fights happen between some people within families and because

[14:26]someone wasn't paying attention to the story and he asks a dumb

[14:29]question and then the other person is like no there was no

[14:33]um you know there was no horse in the story.

[14:34]Where did you get that?

[14:36]Because he wasn't paying attention she wasn't paying attention.

[14:39]So definitely this is making normal relationships and conversations very very difficult

[14:46]and even for me I feel like it is.

[14:48]And by the way, just to say that scientific studies or in

[14:51]societies that have shown that this distraction pandemic that we're all going

[14:57]through, it's drastically impacting mental health for people because people are unable

[15:03]to keep up with what's going on out there.

[15:06]And when they're not and they they're not the currency for social

[15:09]media, for example, is attention.

[15:10]They've got to get that attention from people, right?

[15:13]So when they don't and when they're not able to also accomplish

[15:18]tasks now it's much more difficult because they're constantly their focus has

[15:23]been taken elsewhere.

[15:23]They'll feel low.

[15:26]They'll feel like low self-esteem.

[15:28]They can't achieve things.

[15:28]So perhaps one of the reasons why we're seeing a mental health

[15:31]decline in society is the lack of attention to the distractability phenomena

[15:40]that's going on.

[15:42]We can't take away technology now with AI uh say Ahmed mentioned

[15:45]chachi PT we can't remove it we can't stand here and say

[15:50]no it's wrong stop using it stop using technology don't be on

[15:53]social media I think we have to navigate we have to navigate

[15:56]around the the situations that we have uh by you know suggesting

[16:00]different tools and techniques >> that's very uh very insightful and very

[16:06]accurate I feel um I feel like especially in our community this

[16:12]is um a pretty big issue.

[16:13]So, I'm going to I'm going to ask this follow-up question to

[16:15]say it.

[16:16]Um at what point do you think that distraction stops being harmless

[16:22]as many will say, "Oh, it's just harmless fun, you know, and

[16:25]at what point does it start affecting, you know, our faith, our

[16:28]discipline, and our sense of purpose?" So [clears throat] with distraction and

[16:33]especially you know these uh gadgets which are the main source of

[16:40]distraction today I think there's two problems.

[16:43]One is a little more benign.

[16:45]It's a little um easier to deal with and that is um

[16:48]one issue that it's causing a major waste of time.

[16:54]So these distractions they're we're spending too much time because of them

[17:00]you know especially social media social media and and um you know

[17:06]it's not just that it's just receiving notifications >> too many times

[17:11]during the day even with news right something is just unfolding right

[17:14]now somewhere else in the world and we're following it live we're

[17:18]watching it so first of all there's a a lot of time

[17:24]that is being wasted time that could be productive and you know

[17:28]not only are we wasting opportunities to be productive in our dunya

[17:34]right but even uh even for your I've seen some of these

[17:37]self performance videos you know how to become more productive and whatnot

[17:41]and they all focus on this point that you know you have

[17:47]to have hours like special hours dedicated to your phone or else

[17:51]you'll be destroyed racted the whole day and you will not be

[17:54]productive.

[17:54]They'll always tell you the successful people on earth.

[17:58]The big CEOs, you know, always success to them is measured in

[18:02]wealth.

[18:03]Uh, one thing in common that they have is you don't see

[18:05]them just going and and and scrolling on their phones randomly, right?

[18:11]They have designated times and that's because you won't be productive.

[18:16]you won't be productive for your dunya or for your if you

[18:19]want to be successful in the duny and in the we have

[18:24]to be able to discipline ourselves.

[18:25]So a lot of time is being wasted on these social media

[18:29]apps scrolling um endless endless uh you know and now the feeds

[18:37]even I remember in the past you follow 30 people 50 accounts

[18:40]you only see those accounts now I can never even see those

[18:46]accounts they're buried between all these other strange accounts these funny videos

[18:51]or you know someone who's who's trying to do an experiment or

[18:54]a prank or something and it's you It's fun.

[18:56]You want to watch it and you end up not even seeing

[19:00]what you open your phone to see.

[19:01]So this is number one big waste of time.

[19:04]Number two, which is the more serious problem is that these distractions

[19:09]are making us less happy.

[19:11]And this has been proven through statistics.

[19:14]When you can see the whole world in front of you, right?

[19:20]You know everything.

[19:20]All the news are right there.

[19:22]You're following everybody.

[19:25]What happens is now you don't just compare yourself to your peers,

[19:30]you start comparing yourself to everybody.

[19:33]And when people post things, remember on social media especially, it's all

[19:37]staged.

[19:38]It's all photoshopped.

[19:40]They try to show that they have the best lives.

[19:42]They will not show you what happened before that, what will happen

[19:47]after that.

[19:46]It's all the good things.

[19:50]And what does that do?

[19:50]It's making us less happy, less content with our lives.

[19:54]Because when you look at your life, my life isn't as fun.

[19:58]It's not as exciting.

[20:01]And this is a problem that I can sometimes feel.

[20:03]You know, you're just sitting, it's a boring day.

[20:06]You're not doing anything on your couch and you see this person

[20:08]who's surfing, this person who is traveling to this tropical place, right?

[20:13]Because there's just too many people that you're following.

[20:16]So definitely some of them are doing something excited.

[20:18]And this has been like like I said, it's proven that people

[20:24]who follow these accounts, they become less content with their lives.

[20:28]It doesn't matter what you are.

[20:30]For example, even even for a scholar, right?

[20:33]So, I'm scrolling.

[20:35]I see Muhammad Ali's uh you know, post and I see he

[20:37]has more likes than me.

[20:39]I'm like, what?

[20:39]Wait a minute.

[20:41]What's going on?

[20:40]It's unlikely.

[20:45][laughter] So, that tendency to compare will always be there.

[20:49]That's human nature.

[20:50]And there's a hadith from the prophet and I'll end with this

[20:53]where he spoke about this and obviously we can apply it to

[20:55]social media and all these distractions.

[21:05]When you make it a habit to always follow the news of

[21:09]other people, what are they doing?

[21:11]What do they own?

[21:14]What did they buy?

[21:13]You will not be happy.

[21:15]This is one way that you will create your own discontent in

[21:20]your life because the nef is greedy and it will want everything

[21:23]that it has and it will not look at the other side.

[21:28]Right?

[21:29]Well, there's bad days.

[21:28]No, you only focus on as they say the the grass is

[21:33]always greener on the other side.

[21:34]So everything that is good in other people's lives, that's what your

[21:37]neph's focus is on and it wants it and it doesn't tell

[21:42]you there's just like you have bad days, they have bad days

[21:45]as well.

[21:47]So yes, it is it is um it is definitely leading to

[21:49]mental health issues and just discontent in general.

[21:53]Just to add sorry Shine I I think uh once I was

[21:58]having a discussion with somebody about this and they said you know

[22:02]it's very easy to criticize people for their interest in the lives

[22:06]of others and say look you know and I think that's the

[22:10]right thing not for us to worry about others but the reality

[22:15]is that some people unfortunately thrive on that or for them that's

[22:19]how they uh kind of relax after a difficult day they go

[22:23]through their Insta feed and they want to see what's happening in

[22:27]the world or whatever and they get really drawn into the lives

[22:30]of other especially celebrities and sports stars and whatever and maybe tonight

[22:35]we're having this discussion and you're sitting there thinking you know what

[22:38]this is very theoretical I whether you know whatever you say this

[22:41]is who I am I love to be distracted uh uh you

[22:45]know that's what I enjoy dopamine I need to have that dopamine

[22:48]right what made me think uh to to somehow maybe alert myself

[22:55]is that this subject is discussed in the Quran in much detail.

[23:00]So distractions is actually a very interesting theme in the Quran.

[23:05]Anybody's come across the word in the Quran that's used for distractions?

[23:12]Anyone?

[23:17]Huh?

[23:19]Yes.

[23:21]Allah says this.

[23:28]So Allah says before social media and the gadgets this world was

[23:35]created as a as a place of distractions.

[23:37]The time of the prophet the time of the imams before that

[23:40]after that people were distracted by different things.

[23:44]Don't think that [clears throat] the phones and the technology came as

[23:48]a new phenomena that's creating thisa chaos uh around the world today

[23:51]and before it wasn't there.

[23:52]People were distracted by other things before, right?

[23:56]Perhaps not as bad as now.

[23:57]We're facing it probably worse.

[23:58]But the intrinsic part of this dunya is it's there to distract

[24:05]us away from the objective.

[24:06]It's there to make us somehow forget what we're being created for.

[24:12]for Allah subhana wa ta'ala to worship him and to attain uh

[24:16]success in and in this right now what is interesting is Allah

[24:19]says let me remind you about a scene he says you know

[24:27]on the day of judgment the people of hell will call the

[24:31]people of Jenna please give us some water we're desperate we're really

[24:38]thirsty yes Quran says says the people of Jenna will say to

[24:42]the people of help by the way it's fascinating that means they

[24:45]can see them just imagine you know every time I want to

[24:47]imagine how did well now we know how they can see them

[24:51]probably on a video call I don't know maybe I don't know

[24:54]maybe some of them there's different ideas say but they will see

[24:58]them and they will communicate with them now Quran says the people

[25:02]of Jenna will say to the people of hell it's haram for

[25:07]you why upon people They considered their life, their religion full of

[25:20]distractions.

[25:19]So the Quran says it's serious stuff.

[25:21]We've got to take it seriously.

[25:25]So I often say to the youngsters and the youth, you know,

[25:27]with all my love and respect to those of us who are

[25:32]in their 40s and their 50s and their 60s, when you're in

[25:34]their 20s or even in your teenage years, this is the moment

[25:38]to take it seriously and to think, you know what, I've got

[25:40]to be disciplined and structured in my life.

[25:43]I've got to look at ways not to let this take over

[25:48]my life and take it seriously because it may ruin my spiritual

[25:52]connection with Allah, my faith, but importantly my I don't want it

[25:56]to happen.

[25:56]>> Thank you both for that.

[26:00]The the hadith and the verses are very strong points to uh

[26:02]show us how it could go from a lifestyle issue to an

[26:07]actual spiritual issue.

[26:07]So, thank you for that.

[26:10]Um, I like to believe that when you have a purpose and

[26:13]you you're very firm in that, like he's saying, uh, you know,

[26:17]removing those distractions and being very strict, I feel like those distractions,

[26:22]they lose their power.

[26:23]And, um, the purpose is like the driving force that keeps you

[26:29]on track.

[26:30]And I think the prime example of that, uh, remaining in firm

[26:33]in your purpose is Imm Hussein.

[26:36]And he teaches us to view this world as fleeting and the

[26:43]hereafter as like the everlasting.

[26:44]So what does that mindset teach us today about breaking free from

[26:49]the distractions and realigning your purpose?

[26:53]Sure.

[26:55]>> Uh I was thinking what actually is the number one distraction

[27:02]in the world today?

[27:04]If I can have some people to help me.

[27:06]What's the number one distraction?

[27:08]What's the cause of distraction in our lives?

[27:11]>> We have one over there.

[27:16]Any opinions?

[27:15]>> Shan.

[27:18]>> Shayan is the number one cause.

[27:22]Yes, absolutely.

[27:37]or whether you don't want to fight them, they want to fight

[27:41]you.

[27:41]So you're the response to that is are you going to fight

[27:43]back or you just going to let them run over you?

[27:47]So Shayan already declared war on the children of Adam and we

[27:53]are all children of Adam.

[27:54]And if we don't take that serious then we're in a bad

[27:56]way.

[27:57]That's the distraction right there.

[27:58]You war has been declared on you.

[28:02]So now what are you going to do?

[28:04]Say oh well you know it's okay.

[28:06]No big deal.

[28:07]You know or are you going to say I got to get

[28:09]ready for war because somebody is declaring war on me or something

[28:16]because >> Absolutely.

[28:15]I I agree Shayan it's the he is our number one enemy.

[28:21]What is Shayan using to distract us?

[28:23]What is Shayan using?

[28:27]>> Yes.

[28:30]>> She said gossip.

[28:34]Gossip >> gossip.

[28:33]Okay.

[28:34]So goss is gossip the number one distractions.

[28:37]>> What is phones?

[28:39]So how many people here hands how hands up say phones are

[28:44]the number one distraction tool?

[28:46]Let's of course by shan that is taking us away.

[28:49]Hands up brothers.

[28:51]Very few.

[28:53]Maybe they don't have phones.

[28:54]>> Oh come on.

[28:56]>> Yes.

[28:58]Okay.

[28:58]Anything other than phones?

[29:00]Anyone else suggest something else?

[29:02]Is there anything other than phones that is causing a distraction?

[29:04]>> Video games.

[29:05]>> Sorry.

[29:06]Video games.

[29:08]How many people think video games is the number one cause of

[29:11]distraction?

[29:12]>> [laughter] >> A brother is picking up both his hands.

[29:14]That's illegal voting.

[29:16][laughter] >> Okay.

[29:18]All right.

[29:20]Anything other than video games or the phone?

[29:22]>> We have one here.

[29:23]>> Yes.

[29:24]>> Music.

[29:25]>> Music.

[29:26]Okay, sister.

[29:27]What else?

[29:27]>> A good one.

[29:28]>> Our free time.

[29:31]So you think the free time is a distraction?

[29:35]>> Okay.

[29:37]In what way?

[29:46]That's okay.

[29:47]We can hear this.

[29:52]>> So essentially that I feel like the shaitan finds you in

[29:56]your free time to um promote the haram acts to you.

[29:59]So So when you're sitting there, when you're free um you have

[30:02]time um and you're not practicing anything spiritually, I feel like there's

[30:06]like a push to do something haram.

[30:07]>> Yes.

[30:08]And you know what the word for free time that you're referring

[30:13]to that starts with B is?

[30:15]Boredom.

[30:16]When you're bored.

[30:18]That's what it is essentially.

[30:21]That's exactly what it is.

[30:22]Shayan absolutely loves when you're feeling bored.

[30:25]When people say I, you know, when I was young and I,

[30:30]you know, used to use this term, but now if I was

[30:31]a and I'm not, I'm just a student.

[30:32]I would have tried to find the reason to make it haram

[30:37]for people to say I'm gonna kill time.

[30:39]What are you dash or something?

[30:40][snorts] You know what?

[30:44]Why do you want to kill time for?

[30:45]Allah has given you time.

[30:46]As I say mentioned, you've got to preserve this time.

[30:49]You've got to honor this time, right?

[30:49]So, but I want to get to a very delicate point which

[30:51]I which I think is so so important.

[30:53]So, people have said music, people have said phones, people have said

[30:56]games, people have said boredom and free time.

[31:01]These yes ns.

[31:02]So you think the naps is a distraction, right?

[31:05]Uh that that that command you towards evil.

[31:09]We've said all these very interesting reasons why we feel uh distraction

[31:14]actually happens.

[31:15]Research I was looking at one particular book called indistractable by a

[31:20]researcher um an expert in this area and his name is I

[31:26]think near eye or something and he has a very interesting theory

[31:28]which resonates with a lot of our beliefs.

[31:32]Please focus to what he says.

[31:33]He says, "If you think by going through digital detox or what's

[31:40]known as the dopamine, dopamine fast, right?

[31:43]You're going to be not distracted.

[31:46]You're wrong." He said, "I tried it." He said, "I took away

[31:52]all my phones, iPads, computers, nothing." He said, "Nothing was in the

[31:55]house." And I said, "I'm going to be focused now because none

[31:57]of these gadgets are going to impact me." He said, 'I went

[32:02]back to using typewriters and I started doing other things which distracted

[32:06]me from my tasks.

[32:08]And the idea that he presents is there are two major causes

[32:15]for distraction.

[32:14]External and internal.

[32:17]External are the things that you guys everybody mentioned majority.

[32:20]Yes.

[32:21]He says what is the number one cause of distraction for human

[32:25]beings is something within.

[32:27]What is that within?

[32:30]It's an insecurity or when there's a need or something that is

[32:33]not fulfilled.

[32:34]So why do I turn to my phone and start scrolling?

[32:38]Why do I look?

[32:39]By the way, it's not only phone.

[32:41]People are distracted by food.

[32:45]People are distracted by for example kids or family members.

[32:47]Anything that takes you away from that which you're supposed to be

[32:51]doing is a distraction.

[32:54]Right?

[32:54]So why is it that they turn to these things?

[32:56]There's something within them that they don't have.

[33:00]There is a cry of a need that is not being fulfilled.

[33:05]There is an internal struggle.

[33:06]Right?

[33:07]So it could be due to boredom.

[33:09]It could be to what's known as negativity bias.

[33:14]Negativity bias he says is when we are critical of ourselves and

[33:17]we put ourselves down.

[33:19]I'm not good enough.

[33:20]I don't have the knowledge.

[33:21]I don't have the expertise.

[33:22]No one loves me.

[33:24]Allah hates me.

[33:26]and so on and so forth.

[33:29]Constantly putting ourselves down, right?

[33:30]So there are a number of reasons why we turn to things

[33:34]that distract us.

[33:37]But the number one thing maybe arguably is to fulfill a need

[33:41]that we are desperate to fill.

[33:45]To answer the to come to the discussion because we are in

[33:48]these glorious days of celebration.

[33:49]I think what the Alam have done so brilliantly if we truly

[33:55]reflect or we try and you know understand the words is to

[33:58]create for us that confidence and that spiritual strength within if we

[34:04]are able to understand what that's being said that fills this void

[34:08]you know Imam Zin Alisam has a wonderful line he says if

[34:15]I am alone in this world with the Quran I'll never be

[34:20]bored as long as I have the Quran with me.

[34:24]Now you might say I'll be bored because what just the Quran

[34:29]nothing else but has mastered understood the value and the essence of

[34:34]the Quran in many ways.

[34:35]So for him that gives him that satisfaction that perhaps you and

[34:40]I may not have discovered the elixia and the sweetness of it.

[34:44]Right?

[34:45]So perhaps a journey that we need to think about.

[34:51]Im Hussein.

[34:49]If you look at for example his supplications, I love the supplications

[34:54]IM Hussein Alisam because for me it highlights how an individual should

[35:01]be speaking to Allah at times of hardship because on the day

[35:04]of Ashur he had 18 supplications and most of us are aware

[35:10]of the dua known as dua.

[35:11]But if you look at for example the first supplication on the

[35:14]day of Ashur 10th of Muharam.

[35:18]If I was to ask you now, and this is a fraction

[35:20]of what Imam Hussein went through, but god forbid you have an

[35:24]accident, car accident, there your family members in front of you are

[35:27]all dead.

[35:28]You're on the side of the street.

[35:29]You're bleeding profusely and you know you're not going to survive.

[35:32]You know, it's minutes and it's likely that you're going to die.

[35:37]And you all of a sudden feel the need to speak to

[35:38]Allah at that moment.

[35:41]Hands on heart.

[35:41]Truly, what is it that you will ask Allah in that moment?

[35:45]I'll tell you what I will ask.

[35:46]Ya Allah, please save me.

[35:47]I'm desperate.

[35:49]I don't have anyone.

[35:51]You can save me and I need your help.

[35:52]Wouldn't you do that?

[35:55]In the morning of when he saw the 30,000 in front of

[35:59]him, when there was only a hundred and so with him, when

[36:03]he recognized that that's it, few hours it'll be over.

[36:06]What does he say to Allah?

[36:07]He raises his hands.

[36:14]Every time I go through hardship, I trust you.

[36:17]I know you've got a plan for me.

[36:20]It's okay.

[36:21]I am fully confident with what you want me to go through.

[36:25]What does that do?

[36:27]It fills the void in our hearts that Allah says can never

[36:31]be filled with anything except me.

[36:34]So maybe the reason why Shan plays on us to distract us

[36:39]is because without Allah in our hearts, we'll always be distracted.

[36:44]How many times we've understood the verse?

[36:46]I'm sorry I took long, but this is key point here.

[36:50]We all know it, right?

[36:53]Allah saying without Allah the hearts will be troubled.

[36:56]The hearts will go everywhere.

[36:58]Zam says in dua Then he also says I am not going

[37:11]to even imagine my life enjoying it without your remembrance.

[37:16]I cannot enjoy anything.

[37:17]So what's happening is if we're enjoying these reals and stuff we're

[37:21]watching and the conversations we're having and the video games and the

[37:25]music and so on, what is it?

[37:27]It's a temporary fix for a bigger problem.

[37:29]That is the lack of connection with Allah and the lack of

[37:32]presence of Allah in our hearts that usually give the fulfillment of

[37:39]the need of the human being.

[37:41]Allah says, "I've created you.

[37:43]I know what you need.

[37:44]The fuel that you need is me." If you're going to look

[37:48]for it elsewhere, you're going to have temporary relief, but then you're

[37:52]going to have to go back and it'll never fulfill you.

[37:54]And that's why we're in this cycle constantly looking for things that

[38:01]gives us some fulfillment of that which we are missing.

[38:12]>> Um do you have anything you would like to add say

[38:16]it or >> um no I think we we can move on

[38:20]to the next point.

[38:19]So Imam Hussein is you know the foundation the model in every

[38:26]way and then we seen it lived and carried out through his

[38:29]companions through his family specifically Abu F Abbas when he reached the

[38:34]water and he was overcome with thirst he chose to turn away

[38:37]from it and in that moment he never lost focus from his

[38:43]mission.

[38:44]So how can we learn that focus and that discipline that Abu

[38:48]Fbasam had while trying to be focused in our own goals and

[38:56]have discipline in our own lives.

[38:58]>> Yes.

[38:59]I believe Abu Fbasam like you said serves as a great example

[39:05]on how we can focus on what's important in life and in

[39:09]particular you know the last the last moments of his life where

[39:16]we hear the stories of Abu Fal Abbas his heroic um stance

[39:20]on the day of Ash it's truly a remarkable lesson in how

[39:28]we can f focus on what's important in life.

[39:28]You see, Abu Fbas, he was also distracted like you and I.

[39:34]But he was distracted by something much greater, a desire, an urge

[39:40]that is much more powerful than any social media or phone.

[39:42]And that was when he went to bring water for Imam Hussein.

[39:47]His goal was bring water for the imam of your time.

[39:53]Execute the order of my master Imam Hussein.

[39:56]bring water to the children.

[39:58]That was the goal.

[40:02]The biggest distraction to that goal was his thirst, was his nuffs,

[40:08]his desire, his own thirst.

[40:09]And that's why for a couple of seconds he did get distracted.

[40:12]He put his hand in the water, but right away he was

[40:18]able to go back to his senses, refocus, realign.

[40:20]He threw the water.

[40:23]We've heard the story.

[40:23]How did he go back to focusing on the mission?

[40:28]Because his devotion to Imam Hussein Ali was so strong.

[40:34]When you are devoted to something in life, the distractions won't be

[40:38]a big threat anymore.

[40:39]That's why you see when you're watching like an NFL game or

[40:46]probably football game, soccer game, and it's uh the you know the

[40:49]Super Bowl, which I think it's in a couple of weeks, right?

[40:51]It's not easy to get distracted during the Super Bowl, is it?

[40:56]You're not even going to look at your phone.

[40:59]When you're in the movies, you don't get distracted easily, right?

[41:02]Imagine you're at the hospital and your child is just born and

[41:05]then some notification comes on your phone.

[41:08]You're not going to ignore your kid and you're going to look

[41:13]at your phone.

[41:13]Why?

[41:14]Because you have purpose here.

[41:15]You're so devoted to whatever it is.

[41:19]And that's what makes these distractions kind of negligible.

[41:25]Abdul Abbas to him his faith im Hussein meant everything and thus

[41:31]everything was secondary.

[41:34]I'm thirsty.

[41:33]I'm hungry.

[41:35]My comfort doesn't matter.

[41:35]What matters is the imam of my time.

[41:38]>> So if we are able to also to a degree devote

[41:43]ourselves to Allah subhana wa tala just like we're devoted to our

[41:46]hobbies and to sports.

[41:49]You know, sometimes I'm a little harsh when it comes to people

[41:53]that love sports, but subhan Allah, you see, their devotion to their

[41:57]sports teams is more than my devotion to my salah.

[42:02]The game starts at 6, 5:30.

[42:06]They're on the couch waiting for the game to start.

[42:10]They have their popcorn ready, their pizza, whatever it is.

[42:13]For salah, we're always late.

[42:15]>> Why is it?

[42:16]It's not that we don't have a willpower.

[42:18]It's not difficult.

[42:21]Whoever tells you it's difficult.

[42:22]I always say this.

[42:23]Anyone that says salah is difficult because it requires you know some

[42:28]some um you know u maneuvers and sujud and physical strength.

[42:35]I tell them that's not true.

[42:37]The biggest testimony especially for the guys go to the gym.

[42:39]You see the mashallah 2 hours and they're so motivated.

[42:44]there's a lack of motivation because there isn't that devotion.

[42:47]So the more you're devoted to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, the less

[42:53]the distractions affect you.

[42:54]They become background noise.

[42:55]But like said, when there's a void, when Allah is not in

[43:01]the heart, it's all dy then everything will distract you.

[43:04]There's a famous hadith of Im Ali Alisam where I haven't been

[43:10]able to validate it but it's mentioned by speakers where there was

[43:14]a a spear or an arrow in his you know in his

[43:18]in his feet in I haven't been able to to actually verify

[43:23]it but it's I mean you can imagine that this is the

[43:25]character of Imam Ali Alisam and they wanted to take it out

[43:30]but it was so painful cuz there's no pain medication.

[43:32]So what did they do?

[43:35]They waited until some variation says they ask but if it's that

[43:38]if that's in then that doesn't work.

[43:40]Yeah, it's probably during the time of the prophet.

[43:43]But anyway, they're like let's wait until he's praying cuz he's so

[43:47]distracted by they took out the spear and he didn't even feel

[43:52]it because he's so consumed by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the distractions

[43:57]even pain you won't feel it.

[44:01]That's why if you have a real busy day, even hunger sometimes

[44:03]you won't feel it.

[44:05]Oh, it's 3:00.

[44:05]I didn't have lunch because it's such a productive day.

[44:10]So, it all comes down to my devotion.

[44:12]If I am devoted to the imam of my time and to

[44:18]Allah like Abu Abbas, this is when the distractions become not a

[44:21]threat anymore.

[44:22]That's why he said Hussein.

[44:24]What is my nuffs next to Im Hussein?

[44:27]Why would I want to live if there is no Hussein?

[44:31]And then when they cut his right hand, he said, "All I

[44:37]care about is my dean, my imam.

[44:40]I don't care about my hand.

[44:42]It's secondary.

[44:41]I don't care about my navs, my thirst." When you really are

[44:47]devoted to someone, then pain becomes pleasure for the sake of pleasing

[44:51]that person that you love.

[44:53]>> That's beautiful.

[44:54]I just want to add something as well because I think when

[44:58]I think about one of the greatest moments on the 10th of

[45:03]Muharam when Ali held and felt the coldness of the water and

[45:07]refused to d drink a single drop.

[45:10]I think of the struggles that most of us have when it

[45:15]comes to life and the willingness to practice self-control.

[45:19]But I think of the magical W word because I think this

[45:24]word if we can master this skill Islam emphasizes upon it so

[45:28]much but today it's a huge huge issue and a lot of

[45:32]people seek it at the beginning of the year in January and

[45:34]that's willpower.

[45:36]So if I was to ask you today just now had incredible

[45:42]willpower you know he held the water he was thirsty none of

[45:47]us would have criticized him for drinking right but he said no

[45:51]because he wasn't doing anything haram even makru and there's nothing to

[45:55]say that he shouldn't have had that water but he thought of

[45:58]about Abdah the children and he went against his naps if someone

[46:04]was to tell you today I'm struggling I'm addicted to my phone.

[46:07]By the way, addiction is another issue.

[46:09]So, it's not only phones.

[46:10]People are addicted to all kinds of things out there today, right?

[46:15]I'm addicted to sugars.

[46:15]I'm addicted to uh video games.

[46:18]You know, different addictions.

[46:18]If someone was to tell you, okay, forget medical addiction, but I

[46:23]have a problem and I want to stop.

[46:27]For example, I want to pray on time.

[46:30]My myat, you know, I miss a lot of I'm struggling.

[46:31]I need to strengthen my willpower.

[46:35]What's one tip would you give to people if they want to

[46:42]stop for example uh there's another term for constantly scrolling on what's

[46:45]>> doom scrolling >> doom scrolling that's it if I want to

[46:49]stop doom scrolling what do I do what's the what would you

[46:54]say to someone who asks give me a tip to strengthen my

[46:56]willpower because Abbas had the stren strongest willpower what would you say

[47:01]>> anyone Yes.

[47:06]>> Dua.

[47:07]So what's the best dua to ask Allah for the strong willpower?

[47:16]>> Yeah.

[47:22]>> To wake you up.

[47:24]You're beautiful.

[47:25]So yeah, >> what happened the next morning >> in my in

[47:32]my ear I heard my name clear as bell loud not you

[47:37]know shaking just my own name Mustapa woke me up and from

[47:41]that day on I can go to sleep at 4:00 in the

[47:44]morning and fajger is at 5 and wake up for fajger >>

[47:49]amazing wonderful so you know people often ask which dua you should

[47:55]recite Like scholars have been asked often, can you recommend us a

[47:58]dua that you know one scholar was asked you know I someone

[48:01]to tell him please I need a dua to lose weight right

[48:03]can you give me a dua to lose weight so he said

[48:07]listen here write it down this is a dua so person came

[48:08]ready to record which dua from he's like listen carefully ya Allah

[48:15]he's like ya Allah please make me lose weight [laughter] that's it

[48:20]you know right at the end of the day speak from the

[48:25]heart to Allahh.

[48:24]Okay.

[48:25]So, dua is wonderful to get willpower.

[48:27]What else?

[48:29]What else would you ask people to do?

[48:33]Yes, sister.

[48:32]I'm sorry.

[48:37]Okay.

[48:38]Okay.

[48:39]So, of Allah subhana tala don't any other not necessarily have to

[48:43]be an Islamic tip because I'm I'm you know I may be

[48:47]slightly slightly controversial in the sense that I think it's okay to

[48:51]look at modernday tools and advice from experts and to say look

[48:58]and many times they have roots in the Quran and Hadith as

[49:00]well right so what would you encourage somebody out there who's struggling

[49:04]to do what they ought to be doing?

[49:07]Yes.

[49:08]Because when there is a will, there is a >> there's family,

[49:14]but that's a different will.

[49:15]Um, yes.

[49:17]What would you say?

[49:17]>> I'd say something.

[49:21][clears throat] >> I would say um put yourself in a situation

[49:25]where you're purposely putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation.

[49:29]So like sometimes uh at night, sleep on the ground.

[49:33]You don't have to sleep in your bed.

[49:34]>> Uh or After you shower, last 15 seconds, uh, put it

[49:40]as cold as possible and just stand there 15 seconds because you're,

[49:42]um, uh, that takes willpower to do.

[49:48]It takes discipline.

[49:48]So, when you do that, it trains your brain to stop putting

[49:53]yourself in comfortable situation because when you're scrolling, that's very comfortable.

[49:56]You're not doing anything.

[49:57]Your brain is off and you're just doing that.

[49:58]>> Interesting.

[50:00]Very interesting.

[50:02]Yes.

[50:03]And by the way, that um it's been alluded by to by

[50:07]imbal >> I'm not sure if you wanted to address that.

[50:10]Um he speaks about the paraphrasing the hadith in if you're not

[50:21]patient then you know which one of the the interpretations of that

[50:25]is create an artificial environment or scenario where you have to be

[50:32]patient like the brother said sleep on the floor uh take a

[50:36]cold shower you know this is something that a lot of websites

[50:38]mention it you drink hot water in the summer when you want

[50:43]when you want cold.

[50:43]Exactly.

[50:44]Yeah.

[50:45]Right.

[50:46]Or in the grocery store if you see a long line and

[50:48]a short one, go on the long one.

[50:50]>> Really?

[50:51]>> Yeah.

[50:52]>> Because you're like, you know, you're saying to yourself, I will

[50:56]be patient.

[50:56]It's okay.

[50:57]You're putting yourself in more difficult situations.

[50:59]But say will go on the short one.

[51:01]That's okay.

[51:02]He's got a strong girl power.

[51:04]Um sisters, there was a sister.

[51:05]Yes.

[51:06]Find an alternative example.

[51:13]>> Right?

[51:19]>> So when you find an alternative, what signal are you giving

[51:23]to your brain?

[51:23]You're basically saying you can get that kind of >> Okay.

[51:32]Yeah.

[51:33]Absolutely.

[51:34]Absolutely.

[51:35]Any other tips?

[51:35]Yes, sister.

[51:51]Oh, I see.

[51:54]Punish yourself.

[51:54]>> Interesting.

[51:56]Punish yourself.

[51:56]Yeah.

[51:57]So, basically, this has also roots in Islamic teachings.

[52:01]I look at it from the idea of nither vows.

[52:05]So, vows have its usage and I've seen some say it's to

[52:07]use it for this, but I think it's actually quite useful.

[52:11]So, people who are unable to control themselves can make a religious

[52:15]vow.

[52:16]Neither it has a specific way of doing it.

[52:18]You have to say by Allah it's incumbent upon me by Allah.

[52:22]If for example I watch a clip that's haram or for example

[52:28]I listen to music that I'm not supposed to or for instance

[52:30]if I spend more than 45 minutes online at one go.

[52:35]I will give a $100 for the poor and the orphans.

[52:40]And what happens is you might then say to yourself, I won't

[52:43]do it.

[52:44]But then you feel guilty the more then you kind of accumulate

[52:46]that the more it be so for some people it may work

[52:50]right and by the way there is a professor known as professor

[52:52]po bomster he's he's written a book about willpower the greatest human

[52:56]strength and he says you've got to create hindrance towards that which

[53:02]you want to do.

[53:04]So he says if if you watch too much TV you've got

[53:06]to switch it off from the mains so that now you want

[53:10]to watch you're like oh I'm going to go and put the

[53:14]main electric supply to it to power and and that is a

[53:16]is a barrier so then you're like I'm not bothered right so

[53:21]put something as a hindrance between you and there are today there

[53:25]are apps and things that alarm you tell you you're spending too

[53:28]much there's that much uh um stop now etc etc or you

[53:34]turn off your notifications as I say mentioned so many not millions

[53:37]of notifications are received across the world I saw the statistics they're

[53:41]staggering right so you've got to have some uh I'm very passionate

[53:45]about this I just think it's so important that we take practical

[53:47]points any brothers that want to share anything that they would Yes

[53:53]>> um I think one thing I I read about that psychologist

[53:56]recommend kind of like to reset your brain is grounding so like

[53:59]five things you can feel four things you can see something along

[54:03]along those lines.

[54:02]It kind of like resets your brain if you're in a moment

[54:06]of distraction.

[54:07]It helps a lot.

[54:07]I don't know the exact steps, but it's like one thing you

[54:10]can smell or taste, one thing you can like it just resets

[54:11]your uh mind in that moment.

[54:13]>> So, basically, you're saying Google grounding.

[54:16]That's [laughter] >> I want to give one or two and I

[54:19]think I don't know if S if you want to mention any

[54:20]any others.

[54:21]I'm sure you all have uh some.

[54:23]Of course, there are a lot of Islamic recommendations regarding this.

[54:27]The Quranic uh presentation is So the idea is to stop your

[54:37]soul and jihad >> jihads which is the greater jihad.

[54:41]But in order to do that there is an interesting method that's

[54:44]been shown in psychology.

[54:44]It's called cat and this is not an advert to buy a

[54:50]cat.

[54:50]This is counter ambush training.

[54:52]So counter ambush training basically says that human mind gets ambushed by

[54:57]needs and thoughts.

[54:57]So you're sitting there and you're bored as a sister was saying

[55:02]and you're like I have to check my phone right the counter

[55:06]ambush training tool says you say to yourself just like how for

[55:09]example if you are dieting and there's something uh a baklawa or

[55:15]something in front of you you say to yourself I will have

[55:17]this but in 10 minutes I won't have it now.

[55:20]So you counter ambush but you've got to change where you are.

[55:26]So you can't see that baklawa or what else causes a lot

[55:30]of >> canal >> of course right anything like this you've got

[55:35]to move out of the site so it doesn't ambush you but

[55:40]then just say say to yourself in 10 minutes I will have

[55:42]it.

[55:43]So you're kind of telling yourself, I will eventually.

[55:49]Science has shown the moment you counter ambush and you move yourself

[55:52]from that area, chances are in 10 minutes you won't have it.

[55:59]You won't have it.

[55:58]Why?

[55:59]Because that that need is gone.

[56:01]That need all of a sudden that's ambushed you is no longer

[56:06]there.

[56:07]Right?

[56:05]So it's the same thing.

[56:08]you're doing some work that you have to you're for example doing

[56:11]an assignment or uh some task and you have a urge a

[56:16]need to check your phone just to go on I don't know

[56:18]shopping sites Amazon whatever say to yourself I'll do it in 10

[56:23]minutes keep going and change that don't allow yourself to be in

[56:27]that position and that could help as well for sure >> um

[56:31]what I'm noticing in all of these um examples of how to

[56:36]stay disciplined is that a lot of of them are to be

[56:41]used when you're when you have a a stronger mindset, a more

[56:44]positive mindset in your day.

[56:44]But a lot of times when the heart is drained and someone

[56:49]is overwhelmed or struggling, you know, the naps can become too strong

[56:54]that the discipline can drop and then you become vulnerable to all

[56:58]of these distractions.

[57:01]So I think um of all of the lessons of Karbala, the

[57:03]post carbala lessons are very important and this also is uh imbam

[57:11]his his focus was not in Kbala.

[57:15]It was post where he was carrying all of this grief and

[57:18]he was still you know standing.

[57:20]He he carried immense grief and trauma and somehow he still rebuilt

[57:24]himself and his uh community through discipline through prayer through dua and

[57:30]his deep awareness of Allah subhana wa ta'ala and his proof of

[57:35]all of this is his dua that he wrote which we have

[57:36]in our uh in his book that he wrote.

[57:41]Um so drawing from that uh from Sahifa Sadia, how can his

[57:45]words guide us towards resilience, inner focus and that spiritual clarity when

[57:50]life feels overwhelming and exhausting when someone is struggling.

[57:57]>> Um I don't know how how much minutes do we have

[58:00]left?

[58:01]It's almost 9:30.

[58:03]Uh so I'll try to be brief on this so inshallah we

[58:05]can move on to the next segment.

[58:07]Um so As you said, it's one of the most beautiful books.

[58:12]It's filled with duas that I feel the majority of don't really

[58:16]read.

[58:18]Maybe there's a few of them that are popular, but the majority

[58:23]not really.

[58:22]And it's very vast.

[58:25]It's very mashallah encompassing almost every topic is there's a dua for

[58:31]almost anything you can imagine.

[58:31]But to choose one dua that could really inspire us to to

[58:38]be strong and resilient, there's one specific dua in I've even heard

[58:43]the first time I ever heard of it, I didn't know it

[58:46]was in I just heard it as a dua.

[58:48]It was a recommendation from one of the to read this in

[58:51]any time of stress, distress, distraction, agony, anguish, so on and so

[58:56]forth.

[58:57]It's a very beautiful dua.

[58:58]It's the seventh dua of some call it dua in you can

[59:09]see it has the label anytime he has something big something stressful

[59:16]for example the im he used he used used to read this

[59:21]this dua is so beautiful because he starts imb starts by speaking

[59:26]to Allah by addressing Allah is the he is the one that

[59:34]brings relief from every problem.

[59:35]This is number one.

[59:38]And then he transitions to number two.

[59:41]And then he says, you are the one.

[59:43]Let's say I'm sick for example or I'm going through financial issues.

[59:46]Who is the one that is directing all of these difficulties towards

[59:51]me?

[59:52]Um even the the exact word wording of the im meaning there

[60:10]is nothing that is outside the will of Allah.

[60:13]Whatever is happening in your life, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has control

[60:16]over it.

[60:18]Nothing is beyond Allah's control.

[60:20]There isn't anything random and chaos.

[60:22]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has control over everything.

[60:26]So number one, Allah has the reliever.

[60:27]Number two, Allah has control over everything.

[60:30]Then number three, the imam, he complains.

[60:34]You know, complaining to Allah is something good.

[60:38]It's not complaining to human beings is not good.

[60:40]But complaining to Allah as prophet said, I'm not complaining to anyone

[60:49]about Yousef.

[60:47]I'm only complaining to Allah.

[60:49]This is something that's very good and we we have to try

[60:53]to make it a habit in our lives.

[60:54]sit down and vent with Allah, but do it in a in

[60:58]a respectful way.

[61:00]Ya Allah, I'm weak.

[61:00]Ya Allah, I don't have friends.

[61:01]Ya Allah, I'm uh inshallah, that's not your case where you don't

[61:05]have friends.

[61:06]But for example, I'm not doing good in school.

[61:08]What do I do?

[61:10]I need your help.

[61:12]That to Allah complain to him.

[61:12]And this is what the imam says, "Ya Allah, I am going

[61:21]through a very difficult problem that that I'm losing my patience and

[61:25]I can't deal with it.

[61:28]So acknowledge your difficulty to Allah." After he says that, he he

[61:34]acknowledges that you are the one that brought this.

[61:34]You are the one that tried me with this.

[61:42]So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has a plan even behind suffering.

[61:47]And finally, what does he ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?

[61:50]He says, I ask you, ya Allah, to bring me relief.

[62:00]And what's more beautiful after that, he says this, what I want

[62:07]relief from isn't just my problem.

[62:09]like the suffering, the sickness from the constant distraction, being distracted by

[62:16]what's happening to me.

[62:17]He sees this as a bigger problem than than the pain itself

[62:22]to always be thinking about the issue and the problem.

[62:25]Because sometimes what that does is it takes you far from Allah

[62:28]subhanahu wa ta'ala.

[62:31]I believe the imam he even says after that coat.

[62:39]So, ya Allah, I want you to relieve me, not just from

[62:44]my pain, but from all these distractions.

[62:46]Do not let my problem and suffering distract me from my relationship

[62:50]with you.

[62:51]As long as my relationship with you is intact, alhamdulillah, the pain

[62:58]as how many of us really live the statement that if I

[63:08]have patience towards the fires of hell, the pain, what I will

[63:12]never be patient towards, it's too much for me.

[63:16]The separation from Allah.

[63:19]So he tells Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala first of all relieve me

[63:22]because you can but more importantly I want you to keep my

[63:26]relationship intact with you because there are people that suffering causes them

[63:32]to lose faith in Allah.

[63:35]That was the famous hadith of Im Ali Alisam where he told

[63:38]someone he saw him saying became an ya Allah I don't want

[63:43]fitna.

[63:44]The IM told him what type of dua is this?

[63:47]This is not a good dua.

[63:47]every person will be tried.

[63:48]Fitna means trial.

[63:50]He said then what shall I say?

[63:52]He said the imam told him say I seek refuge in you

[64:00]Allah from the fitna that leads to my im weakening fitna there

[64:04]will be for everyone.

[64:07]That's not bad.

[64:06]What's bad what we have to ask Allah to protect us from

[64:10]is the fitna that takes me away from Allah subhana tala.

[64:12]And this concept you can beautifully see it.

[64:16]said jadia in general but dua number seven more specifically.

[64:19]Thank you say that's uh >> very helpful and u I just

[64:26]want to say to both of you for such valuable knowledge and

[64:30]connecting this uh all together tonight is very very needed I I

[64:36]feel um at this time we would love to open the floor

[64:38]for questions from the audience questions uh even respectful disagreements um so

[64:45]anyone is welcome to take the floor for questions we have right

[64:51]there.

[64:59]>> Instrument I want to just uh highlight something before I you

[65:25]know we discuss your question and that is when I was searching

[65:28]this subject I was looking for specific guidelines from the B on

[65:36]what actually makes distractions worse.

[65:37]So I don't want to do something that makes me more distracted.

[65:41]So there are some practices and some unfortunate vices that we perform

[65:47]that have been highlighted in narrations and of course before that in

[65:51]the holy Quran that makes our minds less focused.

[65:56]I found narrations that talk about um uh for example playing games

[66:01]of gambling things like this because it's considered under the whole subject

[66:07]of things which are creating distractions but also music.

[66:12]See in ayah number six, Allah subhana t says Allah says there

[66:24]are people who will utilize what is known as that which is

[66:31]mentioned but it causes distraction.

[66:36]Imakam he explains this ayah.

[66:38]He says he says music and singing is what Allah subhana ta

[66:48]has warned will be what punishable in hell and then he quoted

[66:52]this ayah so I feel that the world of music and this

[66:57]is a separate subject but let's just touch touch on it briefly

[67:03]we are now consumed by music more than ever before if If

[67:07]you go to the to for example a mall, there's music in

[67:11]the background.

[67:10]If you're just on social media on many many realels, there's music.

[67:16]You're watching a movie, there's music there.

[67:16]There's music everywhere, right?

[67:19]And you can't get away.

[67:20]You go to the gym, right?

[67:22]Unless unless is there like a Shia only gym with a lot.

[67:27]>> I don't know if there is.

[67:29]If there's one place in the world where it would have, it

[67:30]would be dearborn, but sadly >> I think there's sister only gyms

[67:34]here, aren't aren't there?

[67:34]>> Yeah.

[67:35]Yeah, there are.

[67:35]>> Yeah.

[67:36]So I probably >> they don't play lot.

[67:38]I wish they did, but they don't.

[67:39]>> No, they I don't think they play anything.

[67:41]>> Oh, they don't play anything.

[67:44]That's okay.

[67:43]At least there's no music.

[67:46]Um but in the idea that um music is something we can't

[67:48]get away from.

[67:49]So what is it doing to our minds?

[67:52]How are we now reacting to this inevitable songs and tracks that

[67:55]we're constantly hearing?

[67:56]And you know, the troubling thing, I think, is when we take

[67:59]it lightly when we're watching these reels and it's playing in the

[68:02]background and you're like, it's I'm not actually listening to music.

[68:04]I'm I'm focusing on what's being put out there.

[68:08]But it's toxic to your minds and your thoughts subconsciously.

[68:12]Yes, you're being you're consuming it.

[68:15]What is interesting is Islamic narrations are saying to us that this

[68:23]is making us weaker in the face of shan and falling in

[68:25]the traps of being distracted all the time.

[68:28]You might say, "Okay, I'm sinning.

[68:29]What should I do?

[68:33]I love music.

[68:32]you know, I I I just can't do uh uh um without

[68:36]it, right?

[68:38]Uh uh um the idea that some people have is I ask

[68:43]Allahh for forgiveness.

[68:44]Inshallah, he'll forgive me.

[68:45]Everything will be okay.

[68:47]But just po pause for a minute and ask yourself this question.

[68:50]What is it doing to me?

[68:50]You know, how am I actually how am I actually dealing with

[68:56]it psychologically, mentally, physically?

[68:56]What is it actually doing to me?

[69:00]And what it's doing is slowing down your willpower, your self-control, your

[69:02]ability to say no to things that distract you and I.

[69:08]Right?

[69:09]So I understand that sometimes of course at this places like schools,

[69:14]colleges, there's a need to learn instruments.

[69:17]And the question here is is with regards to piano.

[69:19]Generally speaking, our scholars, our jurists talk about instruments in the way

[69:24]that if it is an instrument that is used solely for the

[69:29]production of music that is considered to be haram.

[69:31]Now, what's the music that's considered to be haram?

[69:34]In the opinion of many of our contemporary marajia, it is musical

[69:37]tracks that are usually suitable to be played in gatherings of vice

[69:45]and wrongdoing.

[69:46]So for example, just for example, and it's not confined to this,

[69:51]bars, discos, clubs, parties, and so on.

[69:54]Any music that's suitable to be played or can be usually played

[69:59]in those gatherings or is usually played there, then it's haram.

[70:02]So if there's a music, if there's a musical instrument that's used

[70:05]to produce music of such type only and not any other type

[70:12]of music, then that instrument is haram.

[70:14]But if we now look at piano, it could be argued that

[70:17]piano can be for example used for the softer type of music

[70:22]or the war music or the some anashid which are permissible.

[70:26]For example, national anthem some of said it's okay.

[70:30]So it may be okay to learn it for that purpose that

[70:35]you're not necessarily going to of course use it for uh prohibited

[70:38]uh music.

[70:40]But in general, I think we have to re-examine our relationship with

[70:43]music because I think it's been taken lightly and somehow in the

[70:48]background, it's always there and we're not necessarily aware of its negative

[70:52]uh impact on ourselves.

[70:53]>> Thank you, Sheh.

[70:55]Okay, we'll take one more question from the sister side if anybody

[71:01]has any questions over there in the back.

[71:18]Um, so I just have one main question that I feel like

[71:22]a lot of people struggle with, including myself.

[71:24]Um, and it's mainly distractions during salah.

[71:25]And I feel like, um, as I'm praying, I remember everything that

[71:29]had happened in the past year, in the past few months.

[71:31]Um, and I try to push it to the side.

[71:34]There's only so much you can do.

[71:38]Um, for example, changing the ayah, like you can read obviously um

[71:42]in the second you change it in the you do a different

[71:46]dua, but it's I'm still feeling like it's not really clicking like

[71:50]there's always something going on in my head.

[71:53]Um, and I find myself getting lost sometimes.

[71:55]But um, so I was wondering if there was any piece of

[71:58]advice you can give on that.

[71:59]>> Great question.

[72:01]So uh rumination basically just when you keep replaying situations in your

[72:06]head over and over that that distraction.

[72:08]>> Um so yeah this is something that almost every person uh

[72:14]struggles with.

[72:15]So um [clears throat] the fact that you you know you are

[72:19]aware of of this happening and you are going through it.

[72:23]It's I I feel like it's a good sign because at least

[72:25]you acknowledge that the problem is there and it is something that

[72:31]we will all struggle with even if you become the best of

[72:36]the best but your mind wandering as they say you know or

[72:40]when you're not focused on your salah something we have to deal

[72:46]with no matter how many um suggestions we give it's still going

[72:49]to be there that's why if you go back to the imams

[72:53]I want to go back to the hadiths.

[72:55]When the imams used to hear complaints from their companions that I

[72:59]always lose track of my salah and I don't focus um there's

[73:05]sah in my salah.

[73:07]What do I do?

[73:07]The imams used to always give one prescription.

[73:09]They used to say if you have a problem of not being

[73:16]able to focus in your waj then pray the >> and the

[73:20]imams would even say that the means the extra recommended and we

[73:27]have the 17 that are and then twice as much the 34

[73:29]that are like is one of them.

[73:35]The imams used to say that these were legislated by Allah so

[73:39]that they make up what you lost in your waj because of

[73:44]your mind wandering because the imams used to say when you're not

[73:47]focused on your salah then that portion that you were not focused

[73:51]you're not going to get rewarded for that portion.

[73:56]So whatever you miss, how do you make it up?

[73:59]Through the So this is kind of after we we get past

[74:04]the uh the the you know the the question of what do

[74:06]I do?

[74:07]There's there's a lot of things you can do but at the

[74:11]end of the day the imam said pray the even if you

[74:12]pray some of them even if you pray two because that will

[74:17]make up some of the uh whatever you're losing because of being

[74:21]distracted in your salah.

[74:24]If you want to mention general I I will add a few

[74:29]tips on how we can focus uh but it's a struggle.

[74:30]Number one know that Allah is on your side.

[74:34]So if you have that determination and I echo what mentioned to

[74:38]have that passion or that interest is at the beginning a really

[74:43]good thing because that means it concerns you and it should concern

[74:46]all of us.

[74:49]Yes.

[74:51]Allah says you've got to try and have that heart attentiveness and

[74:57]that presence in salah, right?

[74:58]And the salah will then help you in your day-to-day life against

[75:04]distractions.

[75:04]People tell me, you know what, I'm always doing wrong.

[75:08]I think there's a problem with my salah, right?

[75:12]It's because of course we're not praying it in the way we

[75:14]should be.

[75:15]Not necessarily jurispentially, but as far as our concentration in the prayers

[75:19]is concerned.

[75:18]So number one, know that Allah is on your side.

[75:24]Number two, ask.

[75:23]So always in your dua, say, "Ya Allah, I want to focus

[75:27]in praise.

[75:29]Help me.

[75:30]You're the only one who can help me." Sometimes we turn to

[75:32]Allah right at the end when we've tried everything.

[75:35]We've tried the Google and the chachi pt, right?

[75:39]But we then turn to Allah right at the end.

[75:42]No, speak to Allah first and say, "Allah, you're the one who

[75:46]can unlock this mystery for me." Thirdly, you see our minds, some

[75:50]of the speak about this.

[75:51]They're like birds.

[75:54]The thoughts in our minds that the moment we say Allahbar, it's

[75:57]like a cage that's open and the bird starts flying away.

[76:01]So, as the sister mentioned, we start remembering all kinds of things.

[76:03]If try it, I don't think you should try it.

[76:06]Actually, if you've lost something, you're going to find it in salah,

[76:10]right?

[76:11]You're like Allahbar.

[76:10]I'm like, oh yeah, I put it somewhere there.

[76:14]Yeah, of course I did.

[76:14]And by that time you're like you've actually finished your prayers and

[76:20]shan is the number one culprit.

[76:23]Shan is there to make you distracted in prayers.

[76:24]Let's be honest.

[76:26]So the idea that that we need to develop in our minds

[76:29]is this that I need to seek God's protection from.

[76:33]So the moment you start after say and mean it mean Allah

[76:40]I need you to help me against the uh thoughts of but

[76:42]you know what it is it's training the mind through a number

[76:47]of very interesting tools right for example meditation meditation is very important

[76:52]there's also focus training you know some some scholars have suggested you

[76:56]get a piece of paper and you have a small dot in

[76:59]the middle and you focus on that one dot and you allow

[77:03]your mind to really be fixated on that.

[77:05]So you train your thoughts to be uh focused on exactly one

[77:11]thing right similarly the understanding of what you are reciting is key

[77:15]I know you mentioned it but it's very important so the knowing

[77:19]of fat uh changing the suras that you read after fat to

[77:27]go avoid being in autopilot mode you know everyone just goes into

[77:32]that's it right?

[77:35]Change it full suras, right?

[77:36]And and and and that will kind of take you out from

[77:40]the routine of reciting.

[77:40]But when you and I are reciting, when we're going to rur,

[77:45]the more we read about what the rur means, the more we

[77:47]read about sujud, the more we can think about those kind of

[77:51]things uh as much as possible.

[77:53]The other I think u tip that I remember sah Muhammad bakham

[77:58]his um one of his closest students he writes he says one

[78:04]thing I noticed about him is when it's time for salah he

[78:08]sits on his prayer mat sometimes for half an hour and his

[78:11]head is down like this and I wonder why is he not

[78:14]praying and one day I asked him and he said I need

[78:18]to clear my mind before salah I can't come to salah with

[78:20]a mind that's full of so many things going on right or

[78:24]I'm stressed for example it's really discouraged makru to approach salah with

[78:30]a full bladder that you need to go and relieve yourself you

[78:33]know some people say I don't want to go and do woo

[78:35]god bless the sisters it's so hard for you I know it's

[78:39]tough sometimes you're out there woo it's much more difficult and so

[78:42]on and so forth but don't expect to have focus if there's

[78:44]something there's a physical need and you know you're trying to battle

[78:50]Yes.

[78:51]Or you're extremely hungry, right?

[78:54]Or you've just been frustrated because you've seen your lovely president say

[78:58]something.

[78:59]Yes.

[79:00]Something like this, right?

[79:02]So ultimately clear your mind.

[79:04]Clear your mind as much as you possibly can and then stand

[79:09]up for salah.

[79:12]But know that it is a struggle as was mentioned and try

[79:15]different tools, different techniques.

[79:17]Engage in discussions with others.

[79:20]have circles where for example friend circles or in the WhatsApp groups

[79:24]what have you tried what can I try this is you know

[79:30]we enjoin each other to help each other on this uh um

[79:35]challenging path but ultimately I would say and the final thing I

[79:38]would say the reason why we don't focus in salah primarily could

[79:41]be our attachment to this world and our relationship with materialism mainly

[79:48]That could be it or our lack of investment in our connection

[79:55]with Allahh.

[79:54]Because I ask you one final question.

[79:57]When it's time for salah, how does your heart feel?

[80:02]If you're like, "Oh man, I've got to pray." If it's a

[80:09]burden, if it's something that's really heavy, no, there is a problem.

[80:12]If you want a self diagnosis, there is a huge problem.

[80:15]Do you know what that huge problem is?

[80:18]Allah loves salah.

[80:17]Allah has made it not just so that we have to do

[80:22]it tick list.

[80:23]Allah wants us to do it because he loves it but also

[80:25]helps us.

[80:26]So if I'm approaching it with a negative mindset then I haven't

[80:30]really understood the whole purpose of and why I'm doing it.

[80:34]If I'm missing it, if I'm delaying it, if I don't take

[80:37]it seriously and I take it lightly.

[80:38]By the way, forget the of many of them have said take

[80:44]your prayers lightly.

[80:45]forget the intercession.

[80:46]But that's another subject.

[80:47]So maybe I need to re-evaluate my connection with why am I

[80:53]doing it?

[80:52]And I say this with full of love and respect to my

[80:55]sisters and brothers.

[80:56]And I know it's not tough now, but I know also in

[80:58]uh the this this area and whatever in the summer the fast

[81:03]of the month of Ramadan is long.

[81:05]Trust me, the same for us in the UK.

[81:07]But sh Ramadan is coming up.

[81:09]What's my mentality towards the month?

[81:11]Is it that I enjoy it because there's all these nice gatherings

[81:16]and mashallah amazing programs that NYC do and the speakers and the

[81:20]reciters and everything and thear or is it that I actually enjoy

[81:22]fasting not because I'm going to lose weight.

[81:26]It doesn't happen because of all the food we eat.

[81:29]Uh but actually because I feel the connection with Allah and I

[81:33]understand the ethos of so I'm looking forward to it.

[81:37]Right?

[81:38]So I am disappointed when I see people on social media or

[81:40]I interact with people and they say to me when non-Muslims ask

[81:43]them, "How do you stay all these hours without eating and drinking?

[81:48]Isn't that tough?" And look at their response.

[81:51]Some people like, "Yeah, it's tough, man.

[81:53]I know, but I'll get through it." What do you mean you

[81:55]get through it?

[81:57]Be positive.

[81:56]Be optimistic.

[81:58]Tell your non-Muslim friends, "It's amazing.

[82:01]I love it.

[82:01]It makes me a better person.

[82:01]and it's great for my self-control, for my uh mental health.

[82:07]It it actually motivates me.

[82:08]So the more you are positive about the act of worship you're

[82:11]going to perform, the more you're going to approach it in a

[82:16]right mindset, the more you will understand it, the more Allah will

[82:18]make you feel its sweetness and its benefit in our lives.

[82:24]And that also applies definitely to salah.

[82:25]>> Thank you.

[82:27]Uh so that's unfortunately all the time we have for the questions.

[82:30]Once again, thank you to our respected scholars for your time, your

[82:35]knowledge, and your presence tonight.

[82:35]Thank you for everyone that came out in the cold as well.

[82:37]Um the program is not over yet.

[82:39]Please stick around.

[82:41]They're going to the NYC team is going to do the raffle.

[82:43]Um so, and they're going to announce all the winners.

[82:47]Uh may Allah subhana t accept all of our efforts and keep

[82:54]uh our hearts connected to him through the let us now do

[82:58]three loud salawats and then onto the raffle.

[82:59]Uh most

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