Why do good children become bad? | Alireza Panahian

Why do good children become bad?

In many cases in religious families, they encourage their children to pray or wear Hijab through kindness. They ask, “Do you like mom? Do you like dad?” The child says, “Yes.” They say, “I want to pray.” The child says, “Since I love you, I’ll pray too.” In this religious family, children love their parents. Children do good deeds due to their love for their parents. The mom and dad forget to train their children.
When the child grows up and becomes a teenager, he starts going around and finds that he loves other things too. Because of his friends, he stands up to his parents. Because of following his own desires, he abandons praying too. The parents say, “My child was good! Now he has become bad.”
At the time when he loved you, you should have disciplined him. “Mom and dad I love you. I want to come there.” “No, you should do that now for your discipline. Your situation is different from mine.” This is not about how to pray. Yes, he should pray like his parents. But, we should teach him the etiquettes of prayer. “Now my little one, pick up your praying scarf.” We should have some etiquettes that we expect from our children at home. We shouldn’t say, “Let my child be comfortable. I will pick up her scarf myself.”
No! A child should start to be polite and behave with discipline from the age of seven. “My child, you shouldn’t stretch out your hand to every older person you see. He should bring his hand forward first. But, you should say hello first!” Teach politeness to children as much as you can.
A father and son came to the house of the Commander of the Faithful, Ali (‘a). He poured water for the father to wash his hands, but not for the son. He said, “My son, pour water for the son.” Then the Imam said to the son, “I didn’t want to disrespect you! I wanted to be polite. The reason I poured water for your father is that I should respect him more than I respect you. He should be respected more. If I pour water for you, I have treated you and your father equally. Therefore, my son will pour water for you. I didn’t want to disrespect you. I wanted to respect your father in front of you.”
Who should teach children to respect their father? Mother. Who should teach children to respect their mother? Father. Usually both of them don’t do this. When you have problems with your wife, this doesn’t have anything to do with the children. Why should children become wretched? If their mother is the worst person, you should tell them to respect her. Say, “I have problems with your mother. But, your situation is different! Stand up in front of her and kiss her hand. This so and so.” Even if you have problems, tell your children to respect their mother.
It's interesting. In some houses when the father comes home, the mother doesn’t tell the children, “Stand up in front of him.” This is interesting, isn’t it? It’s very strange! Then, this mother likes her son and daughter to be prosperous. This way?! They don’t stand up when their father enters. They’ll become prosperous?! Never! Such a person hasn’t respected his or her father. Then you want him or her to become prosperous?
Fathers, be careful. It’s true mothers are kind. But, if this child learns to be polite to his mother, he will become prosperous and his sustenance will increase. The mother is meek. She says, “Forget it. It’s enough that my child loves me.” Mothers are like this, “This is enough.” Mother, it’s not enough at all! A child should be polite to you. Be polite to your mother.
Wow! How will a life full of politeness be?! Politeness is very beautiful. Very beautiful. Teach politeness to your child as much as you can. We should have some etiquettes we expect from our children at home. We shouldn’t say, “It’s my child. Let her be comfortable. I will pick up her scarf myself.” No! A child should start to be polite from the age of seven.