Parenting Tips From Lady Fatima - Friday Prayer

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[0:10]All [singing] the one Allah Oh, a shadow on a shadow.

[0:45][singing] A shadow halche.

[1:29]All [singing] makeche.

[1:57]illham.

[2:24]Alhamdulillah.

[2:26]Alhamdulillah.

[3:02]Allahhammed.

[3:14]Ali Muhammad.

[3:21]I My dear brothers, and sisters, from Islamic perspective, the family is

[3:58]considered to be the most sacred institution in Islam.

[4:05]Islam encourages the building of a family, maintaining the family, growing and

[4:14]preserving the family, and spending time with family.

[4:19]These are all ways that a person could get closer to Allah

[4:22]subhanahu wa ta'ala.

[4:25]However, we understand that just like everything in life, [snorts] your family

[4:33]will only give you that which you put in it.

[4:38]If I invest in this relationship, I will reap the reward.

[4:45]If I neglect this institution, if I neglect the family, then I

[4:50]will not reap the reward.

[4:50]And it is the same as any investment business.

[4:56]The more you put in it, the more you see will come

[5:01]back to you.

[5:00]Just like a farm, if you grow something good in it, you

[5:06]will see good results.

[5:07]But if you grow something toxic in it, then you will be

[5:13]allowing that toxicity to grow within your own home, within your own

[5:17]family.

[5:18]Now these days are the days of Faty and in a couple

[5:23]of days we will be commemorating the martyrdom anniversary of Lady Fat

[5:30]Zaham according to the hadith that she lived 95 days or she

[5:34]passed away 95 days afteram and there are many lessons that we

[5:43]can learn from this great lady but perhaps one of the most

[5:46]important lessons is the home of Fatam.

[5:49]how she was as a mother, how she was able to raise

[5:56]such righteous children and have that sacred household that Allah subhanahu wa

[6:02]ta'ala describes in the Quran homes that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has

[6:11]allowed to elevate and the name of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is

[6:17]remembered in these homes.

[6:18]Zam did not achieve greatness outside the home even though she did

[6:26]have a role outside the home.

[6:26]Today many people or many women as well they'll come and they'll

[6:30]say in order for me to be great in order for me

[6:34]to be recognized in order for me to be considered an accomplished

[6:37]person then I have to have a very powerful very vocal very

[6:45]major role outside the house did not have that she became by

[6:53]becoming a good mother by becoming a good life by being who

[6:59]she was, reaching the the the level of greatness within her own

[7:03]role and within her own capacity.

[7:04]And this is something that is very important that helps us change

[7:12]our perspective on what is successful.

[7:13]And the home is the place of investment.

[7:17]The home is the place that time needs to be spent in.

[7:22]We live in a society that for example a lady that is

[7:28]a homemaker.

[7:26]A lady that is dedicating her time and her efforts and her

[7:32]energy inside the home and raising the children and spending time inside

[7:36]the home.

[7:38]That lady is kind of looked down upon in in the eyes

[7:42]of the community, in the eyes of society.

[7:46]Oh, you're just a homemaker.

[7:48]That's it.

[7:50]But that is actually the most difficult job that a person could

[7:54]have.

[7:54]If you are a good father, that is the most difficult job,

[7:57]more difficult than going and bringing in thousands of dollars to the

[8:00]home.

[8:01]If you're a good mother, where you carry out your duties as

[8:06]a mother, where you educate your children and you pass on the

[8:10]teachings, the necessary teachings, just as you nurture them with love, you

[8:14]nurture them with food, you also nurture them with that iman.

[8:19]That role is much more difficult than any other career out there.

[8:22]But we live in a time, we live in a society where

[8:27]these roles are looked down upon.

[8:28]being a mother, being a wife, taking care of the duties.

[8:30]These are looked down upon and other roles are focused on at

[8:35]the expense of the family and at the expense of the the

[8:37]growth of the family and the protection of the family.

[8:41]Allah subhana wa ta'ala tells us to build a strong foundation for

[8:45]our families and a strong foundation has to be built in the

[8:50]home and it has to be built with a strong mother and

[8:52]a mother and father that see eye to eye with one another

[8:56]when it comes to raising their children when it comes to the

[8:59]future and the development of their children.

[9:01]And Allah says in the Quran the one that builds their foundation

[9:18]on the tawa of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

[9:19]This is better than building your foundation on a edge of a

[9:25]slope that is slanted and that is falling.

[9:29]And unfortunately many of us as a result of being so preoccupied

[9:33]with this dunya with paying the bills with with payments with running

[9:37]after that American dream we end up forgetting our own family and

[9:41]our own children.

[9:43]So I want to talk about a few tips.

[9:46]I want to mention three tips we could relate with from the

[9:49]life of Fatham because she was an excellent mother.

[9:53]Even though she didn't have that big of a role outside the

[9:59]house, she was a lady that was in her home but she

[10:05]became that perfect mother, that perfect example that is an example for

[10:09]all of us in all ages.

[10:09]Number one lesson, one of the very important lessons that we learn

[10:16]from Fatam is for a parent, it's very important to always practice

[10:23]what you preach.

[10:26]Parents, they all say that which they want their kids to have.

[10:31]They want their kids to be their best.

[10:32]Their they want their kids to be religious.

[10:35]They want their kids to be they want their kids to be

[10:37]righteous.

[10:38]But when it comes to implementing, this is where many people they

[10:42]see that the talk is one thing, but the the action is

[10:48]something totally different.

[10:47]And kids, they're like sponges.

[10:50]They're not just going to listen to what you say, but they're

[10:53]going to see and they're going to be watching.

[10:56]And even from a very young age, you know, they say that

[11:03]by the time a child is five years old, 95% of their

[11:07]personality has already been shaped.

[11:08]It's already been p it's already been shaped because they watch their

[11:12]parents.

[11:12]That's why you see a you see for example a three fouryear-old

[11:17]child, they walk like their parents.

[11:19]They laugh like their parents.

[11:20]they they the their gestures and everything it resembles their parents because

[11:24]they pick up everything from their parents.

[11:27]So this is why it's very important that we not only as

[11:30]parents and all parents they come and they tell their kids do

[11:35]good become religious pray do this and do that most all of

[11:39]them Muslim parents at least but when it comes to action you

[11:42]see there's a discrepancy you see words are one thing action is

[11:47]something else from Fatima we learn that actions speak louder than words

[11:52]when she comes as a parent and she tells her children to

[11:58]worship.

[11:58]She is the one who is worshiping in front of her children

[12:02]and they watch that and they see that im he says says

[12:10]I have not seen anyone that is a greater worshipper than my

[12:17]mother fat.

[12:16]This was fatam.

[12:19]Sometimes through actions you could deliver a much powerful much greater message

[12:25]than words and lectures and all these talks that we do.

[12:28]When it comes to giving, we know that giving is something that

[12:32]is very noble.

[12:32]Giving is something that is very righteous.

[12:34]We tell our kids to give.

[12:39]We tell our kids to be generous.

[12:41]But do we show our kids how to give?

[12:43]Do we give them that example?

[12:45]Zam, she was that example that came and she showed her children

[12:52]the act of giving.

[12:51]And her whole life when you read her life, you see she

[12:57]was constantly giving.

[12:57]Giving in terms of clothes, giving in terms of food, giving in

[13:03]terms of everything, even knowledge, all of that Fatam was giving.

[13:08]And this is how we pass on parenting to our children to

[13:16]our children.

[13:15]And this is the active way of parenting.

[13:17]Rather than just talking and telling them do this and do that,

[13:23]you're actually showing them.

[13:23]And when we show them that is much more meaningful and much

[13:28]more powerful.

[13:31]We fatam she became an example to her children and to all

[13:36]of us today on giving on worship on teaching on education in

[13:43]in social justice.

[13:43]We talk about yes we're against we're against the wrong we have

[13:46]to always stand with the h we all talk about that every

[13:49]person says we have to stand with with the oppressed against the

[13:52]oppressor.

[13:53]But how many people are actually able to implement that and translate

[13:57]these words into real action did and that's what brought her out

[14:03]of the house.

[14:03]She had not she did not have a role outside the house

[14:07]but she was forced to come outside the house after the death

[14:11]of Sam to defend the Quran to defend the establishment and the

[14:18]religion of Sam.

[14:19]So this is something that is very important.

[14:22]If you're a parent, if you have people that are looking at

[14:28]you and following you, you have to keep in mind that my

[14:30]words are one thing, but my actions, that's what people really look

[14:34]at.

[14:35]And today we really have to make sure that our actions are

[14:41]in line with what we are saying especially in a time where

[14:44]our children and our families and the younger generation they're being tested

[14:49]as a parent today parents today they're competing with multi- multibillion dollar

[14:58]organizations that are trying to brainwash our children.

[15:01]You as a parent, you have to compete with these.

[15:04]They have all the industries, they have social media, they have everything

[15:08]at their disposal.

[15:10]So that means we really have to step up the game and

[15:12]we have to not just talk but we have to make sure

[15:16]that we are implementing what we are teaching.

[15:20]This is number one.

[15:21]Number two, one struggle that many parents have when it comes to

[15:25]raising children.

[15:27]A lot of parents they struggle between balancing between love and doing

[15:32]that which is right.

[15:34]You have to have emotions.

[15:37]You have to have love.

[15:38]Every child is in need of love.

[15:40]But your children and our children are also in need of they're

[15:46]also in need of admonishments.

[15:48]They're in need of someone to tell them this is halal, this

[15:52]is haram, this is right, this is wrong.

[15:54]You find parents, they struggle when it comes to this.

[15:56]Some parents, all they show is love and compassion and I love

[16:03]you.

[16:03]Yes, go ahead and do whatever you want.

[16:05]You want to eat a Big Mac today?

[16:06]Yall will get you a Big Mac.

[16:07]You want to go to this haram place?

[16:08]Y Allah will get you this.

[16:10]You want me to buy you this?

[16:12]I'll buy you this.

[16:12]This is because they're they're blinded by their love.

[16:16]And yes, you have to love your child, but you can't love

[16:19]your child at the expense of their greater good, at the expense

[16:27]of of them being taught what they need to know.

[16:31]And you see another extreme where there is no love, there's no

[16:35]affection, there's no compassion whatsoever.

[16:36]And the parent is like a police in the house.

[16:40]This is right, this is wrong, do this, do that.

[16:40]If you don't, you're in trouble.

[16:48]So, am she managed to and and they both managed to bring

[16:52]these both responsibilities where you do not deprive your children you don't

[16:58]deprive your family of the love that is needed but at the

[17:00]same time you have to do that which is right you have

[17:03]to say that which you have to say and this is something

[17:06]that is very important a lot of parents struggle with this today

[17:10]some parents they think that the solution to their kids problems is

[17:17]the wallet.

[17:18]As soon as my child comes and needs something, here's $20.

[17:21]Okay, here's this money.

[17:22]Here's this.

[17:23]Go and buy whatever you want.

[17:24]That is one way of showing love.

[17:26]But maybe your child needs love in a different way.

[17:31]Maybe your child needs you to sit with them and admonish them

[17:33]and tell them what's halal, what's haram, read dua, with them, pray

[17:39]with them, teach them the values and the ethics that they need.

[17:42]This is something this is a way of giving love as well.

[17:44]That's not maybe in their eyes, maybe in the child's eyes, they're

[17:49]not going to see that as loving.

[17:51]Yes, of course, any child would want to only have the fun,

[17:53]only, you know, go to Disneyland with their parents, but spending time

[18:00]admonishing and teaching that is a form of love.

[18:03]This is why Ali, he has a beautiful letter he's written to

[18:08]Hassan and he tells him Oh my dear son, you are a

[18:20]part of me.

[18:18]No, you are everything in me.

[18:22]If you are hurt, I am going to be hurt.

[18:25]And then he begins he begins that affection and then he begins

[18:30]giving beautiful words of advice and that is a real parent.

[18:35]This is what she did.

[18:38]You know one thing some parents they come and they ask me

[18:43]they say say should I wake my children up for salah you

[18:46]think about it what is the right thing to do she used

[18:51]to wake up her children they used to watch her pray not

[18:57]just the used to watch her pray the midnight prayer hass he

[19:00]says I used to watch my mother on in the middle of

[19:04]the night she's praying and she's remembering the neighbors oh Allah forgive

[19:08]fan and forgive and forgive her.

[19:09]And this is how she's teaching them to give and even giving

[19:13]through dua.

[19:15]So here this is how you you have to balance between love

[19:23]and affection and care and at the same time proper discipline and

[19:27]raising and giving that which which you have to give.

[19:35]And here the were examples.

[19:37]You know there were some days that I immat and im Ali

[19:46]they gave they gave to the needy.

[19:48]Now yes they could come and say no but this child he

[19:53]needs to eat.

[19:52]You're not going to die if you deprive them of something that

[19:57]they need but this is going to on the other hand it's

[19:59]going to be a lifelong lesson.

[20:02]This is going to be something that they're going to remember and

[20:05]Allah subhana wa ta'ala remembers the act of giving of the another

[20:10]family another sacred holy family that Allah mentions in the Quran is

[20:14]the family of Zakaria and so a family that teaches that yes

[20:32]it's okay to deprive ourselves of what we want so that we

[20:36]can give others what they need because there's a difference of what

[20:40]I want.

[20:41]We always want something.

[20:42]My wants are never going to end.

[20:43]But if I see someone is in need of something, I have

[20:48]to give that person.

[20:48]And here is where Allah subhana wa ta'ala mentions the they deprive

[20:58]themselves so that they do that which is waj and this is

[21:02]an act of balancing between emotions and love and compassion and doing

[21:06]what is right and doing what is noble and what is necessary.

[21:08]This is the second point.

[21:11]The third point, my dear brothers and sisters, is that when it

[21:15]comes to parenting, we see a lot of parents, they're driven by

[21:20]reactions.

[21:22]They're they're reactive rather than being proactive when it comes to parenting.

[21:28]Or they're driven by fear.

[21:29]Fear allows fear controls their decisions and the way that they lead

[21:34]their lifestyle, especially their children.

[21:37]And there is no true understanding.

[21:40]A lot of young kids they come and they say my parents

[21:45]tell me to pray but I don't know why we have to

[21:46]pray.

[21:47]My parents never relayed that message to me.

[21:51]They never explained to me why it is important to do that

[21:56]which is that which is good.

[21:57]And here this is where the a successful parent is the one

[22:00]that does not only pass on certain acts to their children.

[22:05]wear the hijab, pray, fast in the month of Ramadan, but explain

[22:08]to them why we do this, why this is important, how this

[22:14]brings how this brings meaning to our lives, and to not be

[22:20]reactionary.

[22:20]A lot of parents, they their their decisions are a reaction to

[22:26]what's going on, a reaction to what my child is being taught

[22:29]in school.

[22:30]uh in the schools they're spreading the LGBT um agenda then I

[22:36]come and I react to it okay why don't I address this

[22:40]why don't I address this topic with my family with my children

[22:42]so that when they go they are strong and they could confront

[22:49]these difficulties and these challenges or our decisions are made based on

[22:54]fear sometimes kids they come to their parents and they say I

[22:58]want for example you see a little young child, I want a

[23:00]phone.

[23:01]I want social media.

[23:05]I want to have this this uh here and that.

[23:09]And if the ch the parent says no, what does the child

[23:11]say?

[23:12]The child says but everyone has it.

[23:13]But everyone has it in the class.

[23:17]So here if I give in and I say yes, you could

[23:21]have it.

[23:22]What am I teaching my child?

[23:23]I'm teaching my child that anytime everyone in the community is doing

[23:29]something, that makes it okay.

[23:32]So if I see everyone jumping off a bridge, that means, yah,

[23:34]we're all going to go jump off a bridge.

[23:37]If I see everyone doing something immoral and wrong, that means I'm

[23:40]giving into that.

[23:42]But a successful parent is the one that makes decisions based on

[23:46]values, based on what is right and what is wrong.

[23:49]If I see that this brings benefit, brings value to my kid's

[23:52]life, then I will introduce it.

[23:53]But if I see that this is something that's toxic and this

[23:57]is something that is going to harm my child's life, then I

[23:59]shouldn't.

[24:00]Even if I see everyone else doing it, I shouldn't base my

[24:05]life decisions and my parenting choices because of fear.

[24:08]Oh, I'm afraid that my child is going to be all alone.

[24:14]Well, the fear of my child uh being affected in a negative

[24:16]way is going to be much worse.

[24:17]the dangers of that are going to be much greater.

[24:22]So her and they were the active parents.

[24:28]They were not reactive.

[24:29]They were proactive.

[24:33]They did not pass along these uh lifestyle choices because it's a

[24:37]habit or because it's out of ignorance.

[24:39]No, they actually relayed these values and pass these values down to

[24:44]their children.

[24:46]And this is the meaning of success.

[24:49]And fatam she taught her children that it's okay to do that

[24:52]even if the whole society is against it.

[24:56]When everyone in the community was quiet, when everyone in the community

[25:01]was silent against the oppression that was taking place, Fatam came out

[25:06]and spoke against injustice and she teaches her children and she teaches

[25:10]us it's okay to speak out against the wrong even if you're

[25:15]the only person standing.

[25:16]We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to empower us to gain beneficial

[25:22]um decisions, beneficial knowledge from Alhamdulillah.

[25:54]Alhamdulillah.

[26:22]Aliham.

[26:25]Aliham Hussein.

[26:53]Say hussein.

[27:18]My dear brothers and sisters, in the last few weeks and days,

[27:25]we have noticed an uptick in Islamophobia in this country.

[27:29]And although this has something that has been going on for a

[27:36]very long time, decades, but there are times where it goes up

[27:39]and down, right now we are seeing an an uptick in that

[27:46]where we are seeing it more.

[27:48]And here you see, for example, the governor of Texas um just

[27:55]two days ago declared one of the largest, if not the largest,

[28:01]uh Muslim civil rights organization, CARE, declared it a foreign terrorist organization.

[28:06]And of course, this is just a means to silence.

[28:11]This is just a means to to stop Muslims and and others

[28:19]from seeking their civil rights.

[28:19]And we saw a protest against the Islamization of Dearborn of America

[28:26]just two days ago where it wasn't that many people.

[28:31]Five people came out of a bus and they created this whole

[28:35]problem and they tried to burn the Quran.

[28:39]And you see that this is something that is going on and

[28:42]we Muslims we need to know how to deal with these situations.

[28:47]We need to know why we are dealing with this and what

[28:49]are our rights and what are our responsibilities and duties.

[28:55]First of all this is here this is a means to distract

[28:58]people from the true injustice that is going on in America and

[29:04]in the world.

[29:05]All of this commotion, this Islamophobia, this talk about Sharia Allah taking

[29:11]over America, there's no such a thing as Sharia Allah taking over

[29:15]the US.

[29:16]Muslims are average people that are just living their lives, going to

[29:20]work, paying their taxes, doing what they're supposed to do.

[29:26]But this is all a means to distract Americans of who is

[29:29]who is actually controlling this country and who is actually controlling politicians.

[29:35]You see 90% over 90% of Congress they are all owned by

[29:44]Apac.

[29:42]They're all owned by the Zionist lobby.

[29:45]No one comes and says that the Zionists are controlling this country

[29:50]but because for example they're serving halal food in some stores they

[29:55]come and they say that Muslims and Sharia Allah so this is

[29:58]all a means to distract people of the the truth and distract

[30:06]people of the reality that's going on and this man who tried

[30:08]to burn the Quran he says in a he he speaks he

[30:12]says my sister is in the IDF his sister is serving serving

[30:15]in the IDF and then he comes and he wants to defend

[30:18]the the US liberties and US freedom.

[30:22]So this is the reality.

[30:26]It's a distraction.

[30:25]And this the reason why we're seeing the uptick in this is

[30:30]because just recently you have Muslims their voices are being more powerful.

[30:36]You have a Muslim that has become the mayor of the most

[30:44]powerful and the largest city in um in the US, New York.

[30:47]And of course, you're going to see a reaction as a result

[30:50]of this.

[30:51]You have Muslim mayors that got elected in Dearbornne and Dearborn Heights.

[30:56]And the reality is that the Zionists and those who have waged

[31:00]a war, an unjust war against Muslims, the reason why they're doing

[31:07]this is that they're losing the battle of the narrative.

[31:10]Yes, the Zionists are able to bomb and destroy.

[31:13]And for years and until now, they're bombing Lebanon and they're bombing

[31:18]Yemen and they're bombing Gaza and the West Bank and Syria and

[31:24]Iran and all over.

[31:24]And Americans are starting to wake up.

[31:27]Actually, at least many of them are starting to wake up and

[31:32]they're starting to see the reality, the reality of who is really

[31:35]controlling this country, who's controlling and who owns the politicians.

[31:39]And they the the result of that is they voted for a

[31:46]Muslim to become the mayor of New York City.

[31:50]And the the Muslim word is becoming more powerful.

[31:54]So you are going to see more attacks on Muslims and more

[31:57]Islamophobia, but that just means that they are losing the battle of

[32:00]the narrative.

[32:02]And uh number three, today they're worried about the Islamization of America.

[32:08]So they go and they attack and they try to incite hatred

[32:14]and violence in Dearbornne or in other Muslim uh majority cities.

[32:20]and they think that they're going to actually do something.

[32:23]If you really are worried about the Islamization of America, go and

[32:27]see who the politicians are talking to.

[32:29]You had Trump sitting with a leader that was a the leader

[32:34]of D.

[32:35]Now, of course, he came with a suit and he came totally

[32:38]different costume, but he was the leader of ISIS in Iraq, Al

[32:45]Juli.

[32:45]So the you have you have members of Congress that are shaking

[32:50]hands with ex-members of ISIS and yesterday you had the president he

[32:54]gives a lavish welcome to MBS and then you come and you're

[32:57]attacking Muslims just normal people that are living day-to-day lives and they're

[33:02]paying their taxes and they're trying to make a living.

[33:06]So if you're worried about ISIS and and extremism having control, then

[33:10]go and question the president.

[33:11]Go and question Congress.

[33:12]Don't come to the average Muslim that is living here and trying

[33:17]to make a living.

[33:18]My dear brothers and sisters, when we Muslims see this, we have

[33:23]to react and we can't stay silent today.

[33:26]We have to hold everyone accountable.

[33:29]Everyone that promotes this hatred and even politicians that are silent.

[33:34]You see when other groups when other minorities are being attacked you

[33:39]see everyone comes out and we and and this is reprehensible and

[33:42]we we stand against this and we're very clear.

[33:46]How many people, how many here cong elected officials in Michigan, elected

[33:51]officials in Congress came out and said this is wrong.

[33:53]What's going on to come and burn the Quran to to come

[33:59]and incite violence and incite hatred against a religion that the 1.5

[34:04]1.6 billion Muslims are living peaceful lives.

[34:08]They're not doing anything to you.

[34:09]So, we need to re email our representatives.

[34:12]We meet need to email all elected officials, not only the ones

[34:16]that are inciting the hatred, but those who are sitting in and

[34:20]watching silently, the governor, the your your local congressperson and have them

[34:26]speak out against us.

[34:28]The moment we Muslims do that, the most the moment we become

[34:31]proactive, then we will see stop to this Islamophobia or we will

[34:37]see it becomes less.

[34:38]We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect all of the innocent

[34:42]lives, all of the innocent souls.

[34:59]My dear brothers and sisters, I wanted to remind you all that

[35:05]inshallah tonight and tomorrow night we are going to be holding a

[35:08]Fatia program, a program honoring the legacy of Fat Zah and commemorating

[35:14]the shahada of Fatham.

[35:17]And we have a guest speaker a renowned um world famous guest

[35:26]speaker Ali.

[35:24]So we ask to every everyone to come and join and participate

[35:30]in the program for the love of fatam for the love of

[35:38]our the daughter of my dear brothers and sisters.

[35:43]We ask you all to recite for all of the all of

[35:50]the and all of the before it a loud.

[36:09]Uh the programs that

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