Volgende
9 Bekeken · 13/01/07
10 Bekeken · 25/03/18
14 Bekeken · 25/03/20
11 Bekeken · 25/03/23
Night 9 | Relationships with In-Laws: Etiquette and Rights | Shaykh Nuru Mohammed
0
0
8 Bekeken·
25/07/04
Eve of the 9th of Muharram | Relationships with In-Laws: Etiquette and Rights | Shaykh Nuru Mohammed Venue: Al Mahdi Centre, Wessex Jamaat Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views or position of Wessex Jamaat & Al Mahdi Centre, its affiliates, members, office bearers or Trustees.
Laat meer zien
Transcript
[0:00]Solawatillah.
[0:17][Music] [Music] Allah [Music] Fore!
[1:04][Music] Foreign!
[1:15]Foreign!
[1:11][Music] [Music] All [Music] [Music] sol.
[2:44]Muhammad [Music] ho.
[3:04]Oh, [Music] good.
[3:20][Music] [Music] John, [Music] is Foreho [Music] he [Music] Say [Music] resign.
[4:55]Foreign [Music] Would you say [Music] Marych.
[6:20]Hey, [Music] hey,ch.
[6:34][Music] [Music] His son Joseo.
[7:10][Music] Oh, God.
[7:33][Music] for [Music] for [Music] ahead.
[8:42][Music] Israinabech.
[8:52][Music] Sayham [Music] Muhammad Ali Muhammad Salawat.
[9:47]K.
[10:04][Music] Get the earth.
[10:24][Music] Hey, I [Music] shani [Music] of Oh, I javan.
[11:16][Music] Fore!
[11:23][Music] Foreign!
[11:30]Foreign!
[11:39][Music] Bal [Music] [Music] beer.
[11:58][Music] [Music] Thoras [Music] [Music] whom in a higher A [Music] m
[12:58]Judah G.
[13:10][Music] [Music] Ali Jet [Music] Abu foreign [Music] [Music] to you.
[14:34][Music] [Applause] to [Music] root.
[15:04]He burn [Music] [Music] from Ali Mhammed Salawad.
[15:31]Before I begin, I'd like to kindly request all of you to
[15:58]move as far forward as possible.
[15:59]There's quite a few gaps in the middle and inshallah we're expecting
[16:01]quite a large crowd inshallah.
[16:05]Kindly recite aloud salawat Muhammad Ali Muhammad.
[16:12]Our condolences to the Imam of our time and to all the
[16:17]Min as we commemorate the martyrdom of Imam Hussein and his holy
[16:19]family.
[16:21]Salaw.
[16:26]Kindly join me in reciting a surah fata for the Marumin of
[16:31]the Ahmed and Jennabai Walji family.
[16:33]The Marumin of Muhammad Hussein Ramulah and Zerbanuji and family.
[16:37]All the shuhada and Kularum ala.
[16:53]A second surah fata for the whose names appear on the screens.
[16:59]Al fat.
[17:14]A reminder that the USX volunteers team have organized an Azadari program
[17:19]for ladies and gents to be held tonight after the main program.
[17:23]This will consist of recitation of Marcia and Mata Dari.
[17:25]All ladies and gents are encouraged to attend.
[17:29]The topic for tonight's majus is relationships with in-laws, etiquette and rights.
[17:35]Kindly join me in welcoming Shikh Nur Muhammad to the member with
[17:39]a recitation of three loud salawat Muhammad Ali Muhammad.
[18:11]Muhammad Aliham.
[18:14][Music] Allah wa Allah for [Music] [Music] [Music] a fool.
[19:18]Oh, [Music] [Music] [Music] All [Music] [Music] I'm [Music] For the love
[20:29]of Ali Akbar with the loudest of our voices, for the love
[20:42]of Imi Abdah Hussein, with the loudest of our voices for a
[20:55]purification of our hearts and hastening of the reappearance of our beloved
[20:59]the 12 im with the loudest of our voices.
[21:05][Music] Once again my dear brothers and sisters, lovers and the followers
[21:20]of we thank almighty Allah for giving us the ninth night of
[21:27]the holy months of muharam.
[21:31]We pray that Allah tab wa'ala accept our humble efforts in this
[21:41]holy month and make us worthy of being his true lovers and
[21:47]followers.
[21:46]The verses I've just quoted my dear brothers and sisters are from
[21:54]Quran 23 verses 5 6 and 7.
[22:02]Allah in these verses of course like the other verses around it
[22:09]before and after discusses the qualities of believers.
[22:18]Some of those qualities Allah say they are those who protect or
[22:34]guard their privacy except from their wives or what their right hands
[22:51]possesses.
[22:49]Then Allah said and those who desire something beyond this they are
[23:03]indeed the transgressors.
[23:07]Now departing from these beautiful verses, our topic of tonight inshallah is
[23:15]relationship with ill- loss, etiquette and rights.
[23:21]aim behind tonight's discussions is inshallah to first and foremost inspire myself
[23:30]and to inspire each and every one of us young and old
[23:36]to first appreciate the essence of marriage and number two to appreciate
[23:44]the rights of each and every member of our families most especially
[23:54]the rights of the spouses and that of the in-laws.
[23:58]Our examination of tonight will inshallah be of the following three stages.
[24:05]The first stage will look at marriage as a natural covenant.
[24:15]Second stage of the examination will look at Quranic framework balance, justice
[24:25]and kindness.
[24:27]And then the last stage of our examination will inshallah look at
[24:34]some practical guidelines for living with our illos.
[24:43]First stage of the examination and I and you know very well
[24:49]the institution of marriage is so dear to Allah.
[24:55]is one of the greatest traditions of our beloved prophet Sam.
[25:05][Music] Marriage within the religion of Islam is not just a legal
[25:22]contract that two people sit and sign or go into it.
[25:26]But most importantly and marriage within the religion of Islam is a
[25:36]natural covenant.
[25:37]It is a holy contract sanctioned by almighty Allah.
[25:47]question.
[25:49]Why is marriage within the religion of Islam regarded as a natural
[25:59]contract?
[25:57]To appreciate this, kindly allow me to quickly refer you to a
[26:05]known verse if not to all of us but to most of
[26:09]us.
[26:07]This verse is often being quoted during marriages.
[26:13]Quran 30 verse 21.
[26:20]Kindly pay attention to this verse.
[26:20]The verse Allah says my underlining point is and of the signs
[26:35]of Allah he created for you from yourselves your spouses.
[26:38]So the underlining word here is min and fusum.
[26:44]Now if you look at Quran you'll come across places where Allah
[26:51]uses likewise when you look at the traditions of our beloved prophet
[27:01]and now question what is the meaning of this sentence mean?
[27:10]Does it mean women are created from men or does it mean
[27:18]men are created from women?
[27:20]It's neither this one nor this one.
[27:25]Wherever you come across, especially in the Holy Quran, where minus orum
[27:34]is used, it simply indicates to either two or more people sharing
[27:42]something in common.
[27:45]Try to understand it's very important.
[27:49]sharing something in common as per the teachings of the holy Quran
[27:55]are of three types.
[27:59]Number one, sometimes you come across two or more people they share
[28:07]tribe in common.
[28:08]You Punjabi, he is Punjabi.
[28:13]He's when you share tribe in common, you can easily look at
[28:21]that person and say to that person, you are myself and I
[28:27]am yourself.
[28:30]Or Punjabis, you are myself.
[28:34]I am yourself.
[28:34]Patient Iranian, you are myself.
[28:37]I am yourself.
[28:39]Why?
[28:40]Because we share tribe in common.
[28:42]Where do we get that?
[28:43]Quran verse 128.
[28:54]Indeed, the messenger has come to you from yourself.
[28:58]Allah is talking to the Arabs.
[29:01]Yes, some scholars they say is human like you.
[29:08]But the immediate meaning of refers to sharing one tribe in common
[29:19]is an Arab you are Arabs in his Quresh you are Quresh.
[29:24]So that's one type.
[29:26]Second type of sharing something in common is also Quran which all
[29:33]of us are familiar with.
[29:33]That is when two or more people share every good in common.
[29:43]Not just one good but every good you can think of.
[29:48]When two people share in common, one of them will say to
[29:54]the other person, you are myself.
[29:56]And this one will say to him, you are myself.
[29:57]Guess what?
[29:59]Quran 3, you know it.
[30:03]Verse 61.
[30:03][Music] Get the point I'm trying to put across because here are
[30:20]two people who share every good in common.
[30:24]Amir and our beloved prophet Muhammad Sam.
[30:32]And that is why non tradition the holy prophet makes it crystal
[30:36]clear isn't it Ali no one knows me in a true sense
[30:43]of knowing me except Allah and you and no one knows you
[30:50]Ali in a true sense of knowing you except Allah and Iool.
[30:54]So And the third type of sharing something in common is when
[31:05]two people share something naturally in common.
[31:09]That is husband and wife.
[31:13]Allah will use naps.
[31:17]Quran 30 verse 21.
[31:27]is saying husband your wife is yourself.
[31:30]Wife your husband is yourself.
[31:34]Why?
[31:33]Because you share something naturally in common.
[31:38]Meaning what?
[31:39]When you do good to your wife, you are doing it yourself.
[31:44]Likewise, when you do good to your husband, you are doing it
[31:51]to yourself.
[31:48]And vice versa.
[31:52]When Islam says you share something natural in common, it simply means
[31:59]marriage takes care of some fundamental natural needs in our lives.
[32:08]In other words, the main objectives of marriage within the religion of
[32:18]Islam are more natural than something else.
[32:19]Somebody may ask a question.
[32:23]Why are you saying marriage takes care of something natural in our
[32:27]lives?
[32:28]Husband has to play that part.
[32:30]Wife has to play that part.
[32:32]Let's look at few examples.
[32:34]Same verse 3021.
[32:37]You see, naturally, my dear brothers and sisters, whether Muslim or not
[32:43]Muslim, I need to connect with something more independent than me.
[32:50]naturally otherwise if I do not connect with something more independent than
[32:55]me I'm going to continue struggling in my life and to us
[33:01]as Muslims the best to connect which is more independent than me
[33:10]is Allah meaning what marriage is a door to Allah whoever is
[33:16]married husband is is expected to hold his wife's hand to Allah.
[33:22]Wife is expected to hold their husband hand to Allah.
[33:28]In fact, main essence of a marriage is to find Allah.
[33:34]Not when we are married, we are drifting apart from God.
[33:39]When we are married, may God forbid, that's the time we indulge
[33:46]into different sins.
[33:45]No, I am a regular in the mosque, but the moment I'm
[33:52]married, I stop coming.
[33:52]Allah is saying in the holy Quran, one of the major signs
[33:59]of getting to him is marriage.
[34:01]So that is something natural.
[34:02]I need to connect with someone more independent than me.
[34:08]In fact, someone absolute independent.
[34:11]Second natural need marriage takes care of each one of us here
[34:17]whether young or old or Muslim or not Muslim.
[34:19]You need peace of mind in your life.
[34:22]You may be the richest person in this community.
[34:26]If there is no peace, you'll not enjoy that money.
[34:32]Last night we mentioned sukun is what we need.
[34:38]of Allah comes for and says, "Are you looking for scone?" One
[34:42]of the best ways to obtain scone is through marriage.
[34:46]Your wife has to be a source of solace, a source of
[34:52]tranquility for you.
[34:54]Your husband has to be a source of solace, a source of
[34:56]tranquility for you.
[34:58]Not when you are married and you are like in a frying
[35:00]pan.
[35:04]You've heard this before.
[35:06]husband after work he will look for his friends to hang around.
[35:12]So one of his friends asked him why you don't have wife.
[35:15]He said no I want to make sure by the time I
[35:18]get home she's fast asleep.
[35:19]Why?
[35:20]Because she makes a lot of salmon too much.
[35:28]Likewise somebody ask a woman oh your husband is late today.
[35:34]What's the problem?
[35:33]Said I thank Allah.
[35:36]Let let him stay.
[35:37]By the time he comes I'm sleeping.
[35:38]Why?
[35:39]Because that guy is too jagra is mushki.
[35:48]Quran is telling me naturally you need peace of mind.
[35:54]Where better to get peace of mind than from your wife and
[35:59]from your husband?
[36:00]Of course Allah first.
[36:01]Seriously, the tranquility you obtain from marriage is unmatched.
[36:10]Whoever doesn't obtain tranquility from his or her marriage, then there's something
[36:15]wrong.
[36:15]Bottom line, that's it.
[36:18]Number three, natural need.
[36:24]Marriage takes care of it.
[36:26]What?
[36:27]Naturally, I am a social being.
[36:28]We are created to love and to be loved.
[36:36]The best institution to begin learning about society and human being is
[36:44]marriage.
[36:46]That's why you see people who don't have love in the house
[36:52]when they go out is like mushkill.
[36:59]You are created to love and to be loved.
[37:03]Naturally, you need love.
[37:06]Where do I get that love?
[37:09]From my marriage.
[37:10]That's why Allah says thirdly, my dear brothers and sisters, naturally I
[37:20]need to be understood when I make mistakes.
[37:24]That's life.
[37:26]You don't want everything somebody pinpoint fingers to you.
[37:30]Naturally I expect you sometime to understand me.
[37:33]Naturally you should expect me to understand you kind of everything you
[37:37]want to point fingers.
[37:38]Allah says where do we learn that from marriage?
[37:46]So marriage my dear brothers and sisters takes care of fundamental natural
[37:54]needs in our lives.
[37:57]Brothers are kindly requested to move forward in Muhammad again.
[38:17]So that is why Islam regards marriage as a natural covenant.
[38:25]Now if you compare marriage from the Islamic perspective with any other
[38:30]civilization, you realize that that of Islam is one of the best.
[38:36]I give an example.
[38:38]If you come to the psychology psychologist, they've got what they feel
[38:44]constitutes a successful marriage.
[38:46]They'll tell you that a successful marriage is that marriage which has
[38:52]two major things, two qualities.
[38:53]He said the first quality is for the husband or the wife
[38:58]to have the power to understand one another.
[39:03]Good.
[39:02]And they said the second quality is to have it at the
[39:07]back of your mind.
[39:10]None of you is superior over the other.
[39:11]So that's psychological perspective.
[39:14]When you come to the sociological perspective, they said no marriage in
[39:23]the previous 50 or 30 years is not like marriage in this
[39:26]day and age.
[39:27]What do they mean?
[39:30]They said in this day and age, if you truly want to
[39:32]achieve success in your marriage, don't determine who plays what role until
[39:38]you start living together.
[39:40]And because today you may find woman working more than the man,
[39:45]woman bringing more money than that's their perspective.
[39:47]And then you have the feminists unfortunately who all these view that
[39:52]marriage is prison for women.
[39:54]Don't even think of getting married.
[39:56]There are so many feminists who hold this view.
[40:00]But Islam comes forward and tells us that is your gateway to
[40:08]Allah.
[40:05]That is how you build your society.
[40:08]That is how you build the love for Allah.
[40:11]Because at the end of the day when you look at everyone
[40:17]sitting here, each one of us is from one particular family.
[40:20]If it wasn't of families, none of us would not be here.
[40:27]So if your family works in reaching God and my family strive
[40:34]in reaching God when we all come here what happens we will
[40:37]all be flying towards Allah.
[40:41]So therefore I hold this view if you get you want to
[40:44]get a community to become a proper community look after families and
[40:47]you will be okay.
[40:50]So that's the first stage of the examination.
[40:52]is a natural phenomena because it connect me with Allah and it
[40:57]takes care of some fundamental natural needs in my life.
[41:02]Now kindly pay attention to the second state of our examination.
[41:07]Quranic framework and this framework that I'm going to discuss culminate the
[41:15]following three things balance justice and kindness.
[41:22]We've just realized marriage within the religion of Islam is it's a
[41:30]divine institution and as our scholars often mention is a secret institution.
[41:36]Why is sacred institution?
[41:40]You've known it by now.
[41:40]It is built on three important factors.
[41:44]Peace of mind, tranquility, isn't it?
[41:46]Love and compassion.
[41:49]But one thing you need to understand marriage does not happen in
[41:57]a vacuum.
[42:01]It involves other members of the family and the most important ones
[42:13]are the fathers and mothers.
[42:15]Once one is married, two families become united.
[42:21]And the moment those two families become, you know, what happened?
[42:25]You should be ready for some test in your life.
[42:30]When people are married, this marriage is not between two individuals.
[42:37]This marriage is between two families.
[42:42]We don't have something that Islam only these two individuals are getting
[42:45]married cuz you may die who look after your children.
[42:49]You may fall ill.
[42:52]So this individualism is neither here nor there within the religion of
[42:58]Islam.
[43:00]Yes, it present us with some tests sometimes.
[43:04]Now Quran my dear brothers and sisters lays down a framework that
[43:17]acknowledges the right of our parent.
[43:20]Kindly pay attention to this while safeguarding the right of the spouse.
[43:28]Let's look at this one after the other.
[43:31]Quran says, "You father, you mother or father-in-law, mother-in-law, you've got your
[43:43]rights deeply enshrined in the Holy Quran.
[43:46]You as a wife most especially and of course the husband, you
[43:50]also have your rights deeply enshrined in the Holy Quran.
[43:57]What Quran expect is to strike a balance and today in most
[44:01]quarters of our communities many people are failing to strike a balance.
[44:07]Now command to honor our parents cannot be overemphasized within the religion
[44:18]of Islam.
[44:19]You as a husband who is married to honor your parents is
[44:23]rooted within the traditions of the holy prophet and Quran.
[44:29]Look at these verses.
[44:29]First one you know very well 17 verse 24.
[44:35]Allah makes it very clear.
[44:43]lower to them the wings of humility out of mercy.
[44:52]Meaning what?
[44:53]You as a son, you as a daughter, be humble in front
[44:59]of your parents and don't only be humble.
[45:05]Always make dua for your father and mom.
[45:09]You know it very well.
[45:13]Ya Allah bless them the way they brought me up and they
[45:21]looked after me when I was young.
[45:22]It's unequivocal equivocal in Quran that we must honor our parents.
[45:30]But you know what Islam comes with and says when it comes
[45:38]to obedience to your parent it has limitation kindness no limitation but
[45:46]obedience to my parent now I'm married I have a wife to
[45:52]obey my parent it has limitation and Quran makes it very clear
[46:00]verse 15 where When they force you, your father and mom to
[46:18]do what?
[46:20]To associate someone with Allah to go against Allah's teaching.
[46:23]It's not only shik to do something unislamic.
[46:27]Don't do it.
[46:30]You are married.
[46:32]You've taken a woman from other family.
[46:35]She is a manet in your hunt.
[46:38]But excuse my word.
[46:41]Sometimes your mom becomes a nightmare.
[46:42]It's either her way or highway.
[46:48]You can't do that.
[46:51]Your wife want to eat certain food but your mom wants to
[46:56]eat certain food.
[46:58]You need to create a balance.
[47:00]Habibi it's not wajib that every food your mother wants to eat
[47:04]your wife must eat the simple things causing mayhem in certain quarters
[47:10]of our communities Allah is telling us in Quran upon all that
[47:19]still be kind to your parents be kind don't be arrogant don't
[47:27]be disrespectful But obedience to them has a boundary is limited.
[47:33]Kindness I repeat it is not limited but you need to create
[47:39]a balance.
[47:40]Now I want to draw your attention to something very important.
[47:44]Likewise women or wife and husbands they've got rights.
[47:52]Your parents have right over you.
[47:56]that woman you are married and that man you are married also
[48:00]has rights.
[48:01]If you fail to observe your parent rights, you'll be questioned by
[48:08]Allah.
[48:06]Likewise, if you fail to observe the right of your wife and
[48:14]husband, you'll be questioned by Allah on the day of marriage.
[48:17]My dear brothers and sisters, especially to those who are married now,
[48:20]I'm talking about demand, equity, compassion, mutual respect, and mutual cooperation.
[48:38]Failing to do so, you will be violating the right of one
[48:45]another.
[48:44]And you see Islam comes forward and says to us husband these
[48:55]are the right of your wife.
[48:57]Wife these are the right of your husband.
[49:03]First right of every husband over his wife these people think is
[49:13]controversial.
[49:14]All is not cont that that woman cannot go out of his
[49:18]house without his permission.
[49:22]No controversial chill relax controversial how is for protection when you have
[49:36]friendship you and wife things are going well fine no problem but
[49:39]today unfortunately there are certain things that are gaining momentum in our
[49:44]communities no I can leave my wife with my friends they they
[49:47]know each other we don't have certain that day in Islam regardless
[49:51]of how close you are with somebody.
[49:55]My wife excuse my word men can become lions.
[50:04]You can't say no you know this our friend cycle we we
[50:09]we like each other we meet we go baraza we la there
[50:14]must be boundaries now and then that's why Islam says woman cannot
[50:25]go out without the permission of a husband is simply to protect
[50:30]her like a right of the husband over his wife as per
[50:41]the tradition of Islam is mudar is to live with him in
[50:47]peace and kind respect him honor him cherish him he is your
[50:56]king number three right of a husband over his wife my dear
[51:04]brothers and sisters says is that protect him from deviation.
[51:09]Help him to know Allah.
[51:14]You see your husband not praying.
[51:19]Your husband inclining to alcohol.
[51:21]He is trying to get inclined to drugs.
[51:24]It is your duty to call him to order is of great
[51:33]importance.
[51:31]Now likewise woman has rights over her husband as per the tradition
[51:39]of the Islam.
[51:38]First right sounds simple but very powerful.
[51:43]Look presentable in front of your wife cuz you will increase in
[51:53]her modesty.
[51:51]You want her to go mahiko pedicure.
[51:57]You are just bushy here.
[51:58]I'm not saying you should cut everything.
[52:01]This one we don't cut everything in Islam.
[52:05]Look nice, presentable her baby.
[52:09]You increasing your modesty.
[52:12]No, excuse me.
[52:12]Not the same clothes you come back from work.
[52:15]Mah, the same clothes inside.
[52:17]It's a right.
[52:19]And we have tradition from the sounds simple but are very important.
[52:22]The children that we have, they will become solid on account of
[52:28]our relationship.
[52:29]That's the first right woman has.
[52:34]Second right is an Africa provision.
[52:36]It is not wajip on a woman to be give you money.
[52:38]Let's get it right.
[52:41]It's true.
[52:42]We live in an environment where things are very tough.
[52:46]I agree.
[52:47]We need to support each other.
[52:49]But it's not waj on a woman.
[52:51]And of course my sister I'm not saying stop giving solid manat.
[53:02]But it is incumbent upon the husband to provide of course based
[53:12]on your capability.
[53:13]Number three again mudarat live with her in kind and in peace.
[53:20]Cherish her.
[53:21]She is your queen.
[53:24]She is your everything.
[53:25]She is the mother of your children.
[53:28]Don't talk to her anyhow.
[53:30]These are all teachings of Islam and there are so many other
[53:35]rights.
[53:36]Now what I seek to do here now before we go forward
[53:38]is that any one of us who truly and I mean this
[53:45]wants to achieve success in his or her marriage.
[53:50]I would confidently say from the holy Quran take care of three
[53:59]terminologies in Quran.
[54:02]The first terminology is in Quran 2 verse 187.
[54:14]Your wives are your garments and your husbands are your garments.
[54:19]Meaning what?
[54:21]Reflect on the roles of government in our lives.
[54:26]Number one, you want to look presentable.
[54:29]You want to make sure when you go out, you dress properly.
[54:33]Here when Allah says you are garment of one another.
[54:38]Meaning wherever you are, whether you are alone or with your wife
[54:41]or your husband, you are representing that wife and that husband.
[54:46]If you put up good alak is you and your wife and
[54:51]your family.
[54:52]If you put a bad alak is you and your wife and
[54:58]your family.
[54:56]Second rule of our government it shield and protect us from the
[55:02]harms of weather condition.
[55:03]Protect each other from the shaitan of this world.
[55:07]The shaitan you know the shaitan you do not know.
[55:12]And I repeat what I said earlier on.
[55:15]Don't say this is my friend I can leave him with my
[55:17]wife I'm going to work for long don't do that if there
[55:21]is no woman there don't do that it is not acceptable within
[55:28]religion of Islam Allah says she is your government you are his
[55:32]government protect each other because it's easy when man and woman are
[55:36]alone shan is the third one these are traditions cuz it is
[55:42]gaining momentum no we friends baba there's nothing called your friends when
[55:45]it comes to this relationship so you need to protect each other
[55:53]you need to shield each other properly that's why Allah says you
[55:57]are garment of one another second terminology is love question what is
[56:09]love says then he says is a rahma and you know maada
[56:14]is two-sided rahma is one-sided you look at your wife for example
[56:24]and you say to your wife I love you or you look
[56:25]at your husband and you say I love what really do we
[56:30]understand what does it mean to say to one another I love
[56:35]you no you say Allah I love Allah I love IM Hussein
[56:37]baba love as they define is an existential relationship between the perfector
[56:44]and the perfected.
[56:46]So when I say to my wife I love you meaning what
[56:50]my wife you are my means of perfection.
[56:54]When I say to my husband I love you meaning my husband
[56:59]you are my means of perfection by all standard.
[57:04]Marriage is everything we have within the religion of Islam.
[57:08]That is why traditions of the prophet B teach us how to
[57:12]build our love.
[57:14]You have to renew it.
[57:16]Whether you are old or young in marriage, it doesn't matter.
[57:19]First practical tip to build your love is verbal language.
[57:24]You know the tradition very well.
[57:27]It keep increasing.
[57:26]I love you.
[57:28]I miss you.
[57:29]It's tradition of the prophet.
[57:30]You know prophet said when a husband says to his wife, I
[57:35]love you, it will never go out of her heart.
[57:35]Don't come and tell me she knows I love you.
[57:38]I'm not going to say.
[57:41]No, no.
[57:42]She doesn't know.
[57:41]No, she knows.
[57:43]No, no.
[57:44]I was bought up like this.
[57:45]No, no, no.
[57:45]There's nothing like I was born.
[57:47]You can change if you want to change.
[57:48]Maybe that is her only love language for you to say, John,
[57:54]I love you.
[57:55]There's nothing wrong because when you have a children and they see
[58:00]solid relationship between the husband and the wife, they grow well.
[58:06]But when the house is a battlefield junk bon children will grow
[58:18]becoming nightmare.
[58:20]So your verbal language is important.
[58:24]Not only verbal language your body language is crucial to build love
[58:30]in marriage.
[58:30]And you know the tradition very well from the holy prophet that
[58:35]when a husband hold the hand of his wife or the other
[58:37]way around before they release their hands their sins are dissolved by
[58:41]Allah let alone hugging it it build it.
[58:48]Number three factor to build love quickly my dear brothers and sisters
[58:54]is what gifts surprise gift do narration says give gift to one
[59:02]another and you'll build love cuz we want that love so that
[59:09]our children grow properly when there is no love between husband and
[59:12]wife children struggle in the process you may hide and hide and
[59:18]hide one day the children will see So the earlier you work
[59:23]on your marriages the better.
[59:25]And then the last practical tip to build love within your marriage
[59:30]abl whether you are right or wrong portray the best of all.
[59:41]Administer justice but make sure you portray the best of all akla.
[59:50]Don't ever shout in front of your children.
[59:52]Don't ever bang the door in front of your children.
[59:56]Today we crying children.
[59:59]It's true.
[60:00]The world is finished to some extent but wallah house is also
[60:05]contributing sometimes.
[60:05]And then the last one Quran says so you have government, you
[60:09]have love, you have compassion.
[60:11]Rahama is two is one-sided.
[60:15]If you want to build a rahama in your marriage, my dear
[60:19]brothers and sisters, there are a few things you can do.
[60:21]Number one, serve your wife.
[60:25]Serve your husband.
[60:28]Your service, your to your wife is an act of charity.
[60:33]You provide just glass of water to your wife is amazing.
[60:39]Serve.
[60:37]When you serve, you build the rahma.
[60:40]Likewise, hadith tells us when a wife serves her husband, she picks
[60:45]up something from that corner of the house and brings it to
[60:48]that corner of the house.
[60:48]You know what I said?
[60:51]On the day of all the eight doors of heaven will be
[60:52]open for her and she'll be asked to choose which one to
[60:57]enter through marriage.
[60:59]Those who are not married, may Allah bless you inshallah.
[61:05]And then the last practical tip to build compassion is what?
[61:11]Compromise.
[61:14]Compromise.
[61:16]Today people lack patience.
[61:20]Small social media, small magazine, compromise.
[61:26]They said if you take marriage on a scale of 100, 30%
[61:31]of it is smartness.
[61:34]You need to be smart, bro.
[61:35]You need to be smart.
[61:37]Be steps ahead of the game, hab.
[61:40]But the the two the two is what?
[61:47]Compromise.
[61:49]Mr.
[61:51]Samu or don't go too much.
[61:53]Then you'll enjoy your marriage.
[61:56]Last stage is very simple.
[61:59]These are practical guidelines for in-laws, for wives and husbands, of course,
[62:09]couple and then general.
[62:11]These are quick ones.
[62:13]Cuz one thing you will never allow in any family is when
[62:20]a spouse, especially a wife, is exposed mentally and emotionally under the
[62:31]guise of pleasing my parents.
[62:36]That's not that's haram.
[62:40]Yes, please your parent but your wife cannot be emotionally exposed and
[62:45]mentally exposed.
[62:47]That's why I mentioned balanced.
[62:50]So these are few advices because we learned from the prophet.
[62:52]Prophet married say the Fatima to Imam Amir since from that day
[62:59]prophet set boundaries.
[63:00]He only guided them.
[63:04]He never interferred in their relationship.
[63:08]He never intruded or controlled say the Fatima and im and they
[63:12]were close to one another in the house house here house here
[63:15]to s prophet will say the best of all of you is
[63:24]the one who is the best to his family and I am
[63:29]the best to my family.
[63:30]So this is very very important.
[63:35]Prophet said if you husband or wife sit next to each other
[63:37]just for the sake of your marriage is so dear to Allah
[63:43]than doing a in my mosque in Medina mar we are here
[63:49]because of marriage marriage is not secondary it's primary it's primary so
[63:55]first advice to the in-laws support but don't interfere Don't control, don't
[64:09]intrude.
[64:06]Number two, ill-os advice, guide, but don't order.
[64:14]Advice, why not?
[64:16]It's crucial, prophet, advice, but don't order.
[64:21]Number three, be welcoming.
[64:25]Don't be judgmental.
[64:25]She may not know how to cook properly.
[64:30]She may not understand the policy of the family.
[64:34]She's new.
[64:35]Help her out.
[64:37]Don't be judgmental because Islam says she should respect you like a
[64:42]mother and like a father.
[64:45]And you should also empathize with her like your daughter or empathize
[64:49]with him like your son.
[64:51]Now the second advice or practical guidelines is for the couples especially
[64:56]daughter-in-law son-in-law some daughter-in-laws also are nightmare they are knee injury.
[65:06]Yeah.
[65:07]And some of the son-in-laws, they are mommy's dad and mommy's boy.
[65:14]Every day he remind the wife, I have I miss my mother's
[65:18]food.
[65:18]You miss go and carry all the curry on your head and
[65:22]bring it up.
[65:26]Married, you're going to work on it.
[65:29]That's what it is.
[65:34]Allah says, for verse 20.
[65:38]We made some of you sources of trials and tribulation to the
[65:43]others.
[65:44]Will you be patient?
[65:46]So when you are a daughter-in-law, don't try to dominate.
[65:51]You've got your rights.
[65:55]The boundaries are there.
[65:55]Don't try to dominate.
[65:58]You as a son-in-law also your parents have right.
[65:59]But remember your wife also has right.
[66:01]You need to create a balance.
[66:05]So these are simple advices.
[66:07]Number one, maintain boundaries with compassion.
[66:09]You and your wife, maintain boundaries with compassion.
[66:12]Not wife make you stay away from your parents because mah you
[66:18]are in heaven.
[66:20]You forget your parents.
[66:20]No want to maintain boundaries but with compassion.
[66:24]That's very important.
[66:25]Number two, present a united front husband and wife.
[66:30]It doesn't mean you are not addressing the ugliness which is happening
[66:34]but present a united front not in aggression.
[66:39]Number three couple especially husband respect your parent and protect your wife.
[66:55]That's it.
[66:58]And in conclusion, no gossip and back but biting because mashallah sometimes
[67:05]we have the naysayers in our families and communities.
[67:08]They brought math diar.
[67:12]The math doesn't stop.
[67:15]Maybe they need pharmacies to stop it.
[67:18]They say no no she's been married for she she doesn't have
[67:24]even a child.
[67:23]Baba Allah gives child not to you.
[67:27]She's been eating the food in the house.
[67:28]No child.
[67:30]Some of the prophet did not have children.
[67:36]We need to stop all this jah.
[67:40]It's Allah who gives.
[67:43]It's Allah who takes.
[67:46]Bottom line we need to respect all and bring about balance.
[67:53]And you the husband have the role to play so that Allah
[68:00]is pleased with you in you'll meet Allah on the day of
[68:03]not physically and while he is pleased with you.
[68:07]Let's take our hearts to carbala.
[68:12]Tonight is really a very painful night brothers and sisters.
[68:18]Tonight really pained Im Hussein.
[68:27]Narration said, "Im Hussein cried profusely upon noticing the mart of Ali
[68:43]Akbar." Naration tells us what mean and may not.
[68:52]Ali Alisam was the first of Banu Hashim to attain mart on
[69:01]the 10th day of Muhamad.
[69:02]He woke up in the morning and he recited the adan Allahbarb.
[69:08]Can you imagine your son reciting the last aan of his life
[69:14]that after this aan there will be no more aan hearing from
[69:21]your beloved son.
[69:23]Imam Hussein taught us that tradition of the prophet that Akaram resembles
[69:32]the holy prophet in his intellect in his look and in his.
[69:36]Now one of our great maraj mentioned this he said one night
[69:45]I dreamt I imus and I saw Imam Hussein in the pools
[69:52]of arrows meaning arrows all over the body of Imus said okay
[69:58]fine I was sad I cried but that's okay so another night
[70:04]I dreamt him again and I saw Imam Hussein only two arrows
[70:08]on his body.
[70:11]All those arrows were no more there.
[70:13]He said I asked him, "Oh my mah, the other night I
[70:16]saw so many arrows on your body, but tonight I'm seeing only
[70:22]two arrows." Im Hussein then said to this merger, "The tears of
[70:27]my Shia wiped off all those arrows, but there are two arrows."
[70:35]He said there are two pains that the tears will not wipe
[70:38]them off.
[70:41]He said one is the arrow on the neck of Algar and
[70:46]the other one is the dagger on the chest of Ali Akbar.
[70:51]Ali recited the when the time was up.
[70:57]Ali came to the father for permission.
[71:00]Narration tells us for every companion Im Hussein would hesitate to grant
[71:06]permission.
[71:07]It was only Ali when he came the father did not hesitate
[71:10]to grant permission.
[71:12]He granted him permission.
[71:13]Then he said to Ali, there are two versions.
[71:16]Some said his mother was in Kbala.
[71:21]Some said she wasn't in Kbala.
[71:22]Imus looked at Ali.
[71:24]He said to him, "Go to Kaaga.
[71:29]Go to Moayam.
[71:27]Go and bid final farewell." The moment Ali entered Kaaga.
[71:35]The ladies began to cry.
[71:37]Zab cried.
[71:39]Leila cried.
[71:37]Rambla cried.
[71:39]Rabab cried.
[71:41]Ali then came out.
[71:42]He beed the final farewell with his beloved father.
[71:45]He rode his horse.
[71:48]Ali began to head towards the battlefield.
[71:49]You know what happened?
[71:54]Im Hussein stopped and he called Ali come back.
[71:57]Ali out of the respect for the father he came back.
[72:01]When he came back he said father I bided farewell.
[72:05]Why are you asking me to come back?
[72:08]Fathers listen to this.
[72:09]Allah abar.
[72:10]Im Hussein looked at Ali.
[72:11]He said to Ali, "Oh my beloved son, may Allah never show
[72:17]you a moment where when your son goes, he will not come
[72:21]back again." Ali then went to the battlefield.
[72:25]Ali began to fight back and fight back.
[72:29]Every moment he killed someone, he would call her uncle Abos.
[72:35]Are you proud of me?
[72:36]naration tells us that version which says was inbal she came out
[72:45]of she began to monitor the battlefield she then began to monitor
[72:49]the complexion of the face of Im Hussein suddenly she saw the
[72:52]complexion of the face of Imam Hussein changing she said oh my
[72:59]Hussein is my Ali alive or Ali dead Hussein looked at he
[73:03]said go make dua Allah promised to answer the dua of a
[73:10]mother.
[73:07]Allah made the famous dua.
[73:11]Ya Allah, you were the one who returned Ysef back to Jacob.
[73:14]Return my Ali back to me.
[73:19]Ya Allah, you were the one who return back to his mother.
[73:22]Return my Ali back to me.
[73:23]Before she could finish the dua, Ali came back calling alash.
[73:29]He said first, he said, "Oh father, the heat of carbala is
[73:37]burning me.
[73:39]Oh father, the armor is killing me." Allah look at the love
[73:42]of a father for his son.
[73:43]Let's appreciate our parent.
[73:44]Imam Hussein came to Ali and he tried to quench the thirst
[73:51]of Ali.
[73:50]You know what he did?
[73:54]Im Hussein placed his tongue into the mouth of Ali.
[73:56]Ali then looked at Im Hussein.
[74:00]He said, "Father, your mouth is drier than my mouth." Imam then
[74:04]said to Ali, "Oh Ali, go.
[74:05]You will soon meet Allah and will quench your thirst." You know
[74:12]what happened?
[74:11]Somebody from behind struck Ali.
[74:15]Ali fell on the ground.
[74:18]As if it wasn't enough, one of them lifted his dagger and
[74:21]he dug on the chest of Ali.
[74:24]Allahbar while Ali was falling down.
[74:31]Ali called out salutation unto my beloved father.
[74:37]But look and listen to this imus upon hearing the voice of
[74:41]his son came out of narration tells us for every companion Im
[74:47]Hussein rushed to the body.
[74:51]But for Ali when he came out he began to walk slowly
[74:53]to the body.
[74:55]But you know what happened?
[74:56]Imam Hussein took a wrong direction.
[75:02]Baby Sukina saw the father taking wrong direction.
[75:05]She called out father where are you going?
[75:09]He said John I'm going to Ali.
[75:10]Sina said but father Ali is here and you are going this
[75:16]way.
[75:17]Imam Hussein looked at Sukina he said to it kills me to
[75:19]know my Ali is dying.
[75:21]Imam Hussein was used to Ali hugging him with two hands but
[75:26]he saw Ali lifting one hand from far.
[75:28]When he got to the body of Ali, he realized Ali was
[75:32]covering dagger with one hand and lifting the hand in show of
[75:39]respect with the other hand.
[75:39]We are told Imam Hussein removed the dagger from the chest of
[75:42]Ali.
[75:43]He then looked at Ash.
[75:48]He stood towards he said, "Oh my father, you lifted the door
[75:57]of with your hand.
[75:56]Come and see your son.
[75:57]lifting dagger from the chest of his son in Kbala.
[76:03]I leave you with this last line.
[76:06]Final moment of the life of Ali.
[76:12]Ali would smile and Ali would cry.
[76:14]Ali would smile and Ali would cry.
[76:17]Baba Ali, why smiling and crying at the same time?
[76:23]Ali said, I smile because I see Allah.
[76:24]Ali, why are you crying?
[76:27]He said, "I cry because I see Fatima slapping on her cheek.
[76:56]We pray to Allah.
[76:59]Our may Allah forgive them.
[77:03]Those who are not well, may Allah cure them.
[77:05]It is cure inshallah.
[77:08]Our uncle Mahm, may Allah make it easy for him.
[77:09]Inshallah.
[77:10]We pray for our dear brothers and sisters in Palestine, in Parachina,
[77:16]in all places.
[77:18]May Allah tala make it for them.
[77:21]Inshallah.
[77:21]May Allah expedite the reappearance of the Imam of our time.
[77:27]Yeah.
[77:28]Hussein.
[77:38][Music] Highly [Music] high.
[77:52][Music] I [Music] shall.
[78:27][Music] not [Music] [Music] those [Music] heart by now.
[79:19][Music] By [Music] keeping [Music] March for [Music] the amore.
[80:35][Music] Make proper matter proper proper please.
[81:05]Proper line together.
[81:19]Please [Music] ma ma karib for [Music] today.
[82:03][Music] is messaged.
[82:29][Music] [Music] [Music] Oh, [Music] [Music] [Music] Mama.
[83:21]Mama.
[83:29][Music] Fore!
[83:43][Music] Foreign!
[83:46]Foreign!
[83:49][Music] Many [Music] [Music] foreign.
[84:27][Music] [Music] Allah.
[85:21][Music] Oh, [Music] [Music] Yus.
[86:04]Yah.
[86:06]Yahus.
[86:07]Yah.
[86:10]Hussein.
[86:12]Hussein.
[86:10]Yah.
[86:11]Hussein.
[86:12]Hussein.
[86:13]Yah.
[86:15]Hussein.
[86:14]Yahus.
[86:16]Yah.
[86:18]Hussein.
[86:18]Yah.
[86:19]Hussein.
[86:19]Yah.
[86:22]Hussein.
[86:21]Yahus.
[86:23]Y [Applause] yo ych.
[86:37][Music] [Music] Keep [Music] [Music] it above.
[87:10][Music] Another [Music] [Music] ship.
[87:49]Fore!
[87:50]Foreign!
[87:51]Foreign!
[87:57][Music] worship.
[88:13][Music] [Music] [Applause] for [Music] Shabbat.
[88:49][Music] [Music] [Music] Allah [Music] ship.
[89:29][Applause] Korea [Music] [Applause] Mary.
[89:51][Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] Sh.
[90:11][Music] [Music] Hi, [Music] Hussein.
[90:44][Music] and say I make Get all [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
[91:26][Music] [Music] Amen.
[91:52][Applause] They go up.
[91:57][Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] above.
[92:40][Music] Could [Music] you dare [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] She [Music] [Music]
[93:36]abhore.
[93:40][Music] Hey, [Music] get it.
[93:58][Music] [Music] Shah [Music] [Music] make Get [Applause] [Music] shy above.
[95:07][Music] Say yo yo.
[95:14]Yo.
[95:15]Yo.
[95:17]Yo.
[95:18]Yo.
[95:19]Yo.
[95:21]Yo.
[95:22]Yo.
[95:18]Yo.
[95:19]Yo.
[95:20]Yo.
[95:21]Say yo son.
[95:24]Yo.
[95:25]Yo son.
[95:27]Yo.
[95:23]Yo son.
[95:25]Yo.
[95:26]Yo b.
[95:27]Yo b.
[95:29]Yo b.
[95:30]Yo b.
[95:32]Yo b.
[95:29]Yo b.
[95:30]yo bus.
[95:32]Yo boss.
[95:33]Yo son.
[95:34]Yo son.
[95:35]Yo, Muhammad Salaw.
[96:31]Yeah.
[96:45]Subhan Allah.
[96:51][Music] [Laughter] Allah.
[97:18]Allah.
[97:21][Music] Shadow [Music] Allah.
[97:57]Oh, [Music] [Music] Allah.
[98:29][Music] [Music] for [Music] [Laughter] Hal [Laughter] [Music] Allah.
[100:00][Music] [Music] Allah Allah.
[100:23]Oh, [Music] [Music] Allah.
[100:48]Lord, [Music] [Music] Allahham.
[101:41]Father Allahbar.
[101:55]Allahbar.
[101:57][Music] Alhamdulillah.
[102:26][Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] speech.
[103:12]Allahbar.
[103:16]Subhan Allah.
[103:30][Music] [Music] Allahbar subhuhammed [Music] [Music] heard.
[104:06]Alhamdulillah.
[104:10][Music] [Music] [Music] Allahbar.
[104:55][Music] Hussein Allahbar.
[105:27]forbuh.
[105:41][Music] forbu.
[105:58][Music] [Music] Okay.
[106:51]Subhan Allah.
[106:53]He subhan Allah.
[106:56]Subhan Allah.
[107:01][Music] Allahbar.
[107:11][Music] [Music] Subhan Allah.
[107:29]Subhan Allah.
[107:29][Music] [Music] Allahhammed.
[107:47][Music] [Music] [Music] Allahbar.
[108:22]Allahbar.
[108:24]Allahbar.
[108:28]Allahhammed.
[108:42]Allahhammed.
[108:43][Music] [Music] Allah [Music] imat.
[110:14]Wham [Music] and booty lake.
[110:47]Allah shinham [Music] shham.
[111:01][Music] Allahham Allahbar.
[111:31]Allahbar Allahbarimed [Music] [Music] alman.
[112:10][Music] [Music] [Music] Allahbar.
[112:45][Music] Subhuhammed [Music] [Music] [Music] Allahbar.
[113:24][Music] Alhamdulillah.
[113:49][Music] [Music] All [Music] speech.
[114:20]Allahbar.
[114:22]Allah.
[114:27][Music] Allahbar [Music] Allahbar Subhuhammed.
[115:09][Music] Subhan Allah.
[115:28][Music] Allahbar [Music] [Music] Heat.
[116:04]Heat.
[116:18]Allah Subhuah.
[116:37][Music] [Music] Allah Subhanahu [Music] [Music] Allahbar.
[117:29]Subhan Allah.
[117:32]Subhan Allah.
[117:34]Subhan Allah.
[117:35]Subhan Allah.
[117:36][Music] Allahbar.
[117:51][Music] Allahbar.
[118:07]Subhan Allah.
[118:09]Subhan Allah.
[118:12]Subhan Allah.
[118:13]Subhan Allah.
[118:13][Music] Allahbar.
[118:32][Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Allahbarhammed.
[119:11][Music] Stop it.
[120:26]Min kindly remain seated after the ISA dua for an important announcement.
[120:32]A son [Music] is key.
[120:56]Fore!
[121:00][Music] Foreign!
[121:24]Foreign!
[121:24][Music] [Music] What [Music] [Music] to dear relief.
[122:00][Music] lake in the very quick announcement.
[122:38]We would like to request all parents to be aware of their
[122:41]children's whereabouts throughout the program.
[122:43]Kindly keep your children with you during the Mercia Majis and Matam
[122:46]time as well.
[122:48]Uh we've had two very very near misses last night with two
[122:51]girls who were um almost hit by a car in the car
[122:54]park.
[122:55]They were running around completely unaccompanied.
[122:57]One during the matam time and one straight in during the tabaruk
[122:59]time.
[123:00]We do request all parents especially the mothers to please make sure
[123:03]that your little ones are with you.
[123:05]Aant I would now like to welcome upon Moas Jaffa to the
[123:08]front inshallah he's our uh the wessex rep to coage for paleative
[123:13]care um he's got a small talk to give inshallah kindly welcome
[123:16]him with the recitation of aloud salawat Muhammad Ali Muhammad before I
[123:33]commence with my talk for this evening.
[123:35]I've been asked to share a wonderful update from the Wessix volunteers
[123:40]team regarding the Alamar water appeal 2025.
[123:43]The team had set a target of 1,870 pounds, aiming to fund
[123:48]34 wells in honor of Mah Abisam.
[123:52]Alhamdulillah, thanks to the generosity, das and support of the community, they
[123:56]have exceeded their goal, raising a total of 2,314 pounds, enough to
[124:04]build 42 wells in Pakistan.
[124:06]The team extends their sincere thanks to all those who donated, encouraged,
[124:11]and prayed for the success of this appeal.
[124:15]With the target now reached and surpassed, the Alamar fund for 2025
[124:19]is officially closed.
[124:21]They now humbly encourage everyone to continue supporting Wessex Jamaat's Muharam and
[124:25]Safar fund which helps to make programs like tonight's possible.
[124:29]For those who didn't get the chance to donate this time, the
[124:32]team sends their apologies and with Allah's help, they hope to run
[124:37]the appeal again next year, inshallah.
[124:38]Before we move on to the talk, inshallah, can I please request
[124:43]the recitation of Muhammad?
[124:45]We're early Muhammad.
[124:58]Inshallah before we end with Zara for this evening I'd like to
[125:03]just take a few minutes of your time to raise awareness and
[125:06]discuss an important topic which relates to how medical decisions are made
[125:12]in the event that we were to lose the capacity to make
[125:17]those decisions ourself.
[125:16]Inshallah, I hope that it's something that we can all think about
[125:22]um and something that may be important for us to consider uh
[125:25]looking forward to the future.
[125:26]Inshallah, I'm sure most of us in this room at some point
[125:37]or another will have had to been had to have been involved
[125:43]in taking a medical decision of some sort or the other.
[125:45]Perhaps you started a medication.
[125:48]You might have had a surgery or an operation.
[125:53]Many of us as well had to consider whether or not to
[125:57]have our COVID or flu vaccinations, for example.
[126:00]Whatever decision you've been involved in, all of these decisions are underpinned
[126:06]by a principle known as informed consent.
[126:12]So informed consent is essentially the process by which you accept or
[126:19]you permit that treatment to go ahead.
[126:21]This relies on you firstly being given the right information.
[126:23]So you need to know what the treatment is for, what are
[126:28]the benefits and also what are the risks and side effects and
[126:30]so that will be the responsibility of your doctor, your healthare practitioner
[126:34]or your medical team to share that information with you.
[126:37]Having received that information, you now have the autonomy to either accept
[126:43]or to decline that treatment.
[126:46]And for this to happen, it requires that you have mental capacity.
[126:51]That means to have the ability to make that decision.
[126:53]So what that means is that you need to be able to
[126:57]understand the information that is being given to you.
[127:00]You need to be able to retain it for long enough to
[127:01]make a decision.
[127:03]You need to be able to weigh up the pros and cons
[127:07]and then be able to communicate your decision back to the medical
[127:10]team.
[127:10]And if you're able to do those four things, then that means
[127:12]you have mental capacity for that decision.
[127:15]And this whole process is underpinned or the thing that drives that
[127:22]decision- making is our values.
[127:23]For us as lovers of theam, of course, an important factor for
[127:29]us is our religious values, but this may also include personal beliefs
[127:34]and preferences.
[127:36]So the question I'd like to address today is what were to
[127:41]happen if for any reason we lost the mental capacity, the ability
[127:44]to make those decisions for ourself?
[127:46]In Islam, we know that we cannot take things like our health
[127:53]or our lives for granted.
[127:54]Who knows?
[127:56]Perhaps tomorrow I may be involved in a car accident and end
[128:02]up in a coma.
[128:02]Perhaps someone might become acutely unwell and lose their capacity either because
[128:07]of a severe infection or because of something like a stroke.
[128:12]Or perhaps there may be a more gradual cause um for the
[128:16]lack of the ability to have mental capacity such as conditions like
[128:22]dementia.
[128:22]Regardless of why the loss of mental capacity occurs, the question remains
[128:27]what were to happen to our medical decisions in this situation.
[128:35]So the default is that the default is that the responsibility falls
[128:44]onto our medical team to make those decisions in our best interest.
[128:50]So that means that they have to make a decision as to
[128:52]what they feel is best for us.
[128:53]Now, of course, they may know the pros and the cons of
[128:58]treatment, but the big downside is that they may not may not
[129:01]know your values, and therefore your values may not be represented in
[129:05]the decision-making process.
[129:08]So, there's another option.
[129:10]There is something called an advanced decision to refuse treatment, sometimes known
[129:17]as ADV an advanced directive or a living will.
[129:19]Now whilst this has some uses, it also has significant limitations.
[129:25]For example, the scope is very limited.
[129:30]You can refuse treatments for example um but whatever you um the
[129:36]only thing that will take effect is what you've stipulated and for
[129:40]the circumstances in which you've stipulated.
[129:41]So for that reason the scope can sometimes be quite limited.
[129:45]Secondly, this also may pose some fi problems.
[129:50]Given that if a cure for a treatment exists and is available,
[129:58]we have a responsibility based on the belief in sanctity of life
[130:04]to pursue that cure or treatment.
[130:05]And so any advanced decisions to refuse treatment should first be undertaken
[130:12]in consultation with a scholar.
[130:13]And finally, um, advanced decisions or advanced directives lack flexibility.
[130:18]For example, and and for this reason, sometimes it can leave your
[130:23]family members in a difficult situation.
[130:26]For example, if circumstances were to change and your family member believes
[130:29]that you would have changed your decision in light of that change
[130:33]in circumstances, they would still be bound by the advanced directive, which
[130:37]is legally binding and therefore it can lack flexibility as well.
[130:41]So that brings us to the third option which is like what
[130:43]I'd like to discuss today which is called the lasting power of
[130:50]attorney.
[130:49]There are two types of lasting power of attorney.
[130:52]There is one for the management of property and financial affairs.
[130:56]Something which is extremely important something that we should all perhaps consider.
[131:01]But the one that I'd like to focus on and zoom in
[131:05]on today is the lasting power of attorney for health and welfare.
[131:09]Essentially, a lasting power of attorney allows you, the process allows you
[131:18]to appoint one or more trusted people who are known as your
[131:22]attorneys and then they would have the ability to make those decisions
[131:25]on your behalf and those are decisions around medical care, around accommodation
[131:31]and things like daily care as well.
[131:34]It's important to note that this would only take effect in the
[131:37]event that you lost the ability to make those decisions yourself.
[131:43]Who can you choose as your attorney?
[131:48]It can be for example a spouse, a child, a friend, so
[131:50]a family member.
[131:52]It can be a community member.
[131:53]It can be a scholar.
[131:55]It can be a professional such as a solicitor.
[131:58]The key is that you should choose whoever you feel best understands
[132:04]and shares your values because they will be responsible for then representing
[132:09]those values should the need arise.
[132:14]It is important that in that situation if you when when you
[132:17]do appoint your attorneys attorney or attorneys you also take the time
[132:21]to discuss with them your wishes your values so that they have
[132:25]a good understanding and that they will be able to represent those
[132:29]values should the need arise.
[132:31]So unlike the situation that we talked about previously where decisions are
[132:37]made by your medical team in your best interest with a lasting
[132:43]power of attorney this ensures that your values are represented in any
[132:49]decision-making process and that is it's represented through your chosen attorney who
[132:52]inshallah will share your values.
[132:57]So very briefly how do we go about this process?
[133:00]Um you can find out more information about this on the gov.uk
[133:04]website.
[133:04]The link is available on the screen and this will talk you
[133:09]through the process but essentially it involves completing a form ensuring that
[133:13]th that form uh is signed by yourself as well as your
[133:15]attorneys and other parties such as witnesses.
[133:17]Um and then it needs to be registered through the office of
[133:23]the public guardian.
[133:23]Bear in mind the registration process takes around 8 to 12 weeks
[133:27]and happens at a cost of £82.
[133:29]though if your annual income is less than 12,000 or you're uncertain
[133:36]income means benefits then that cost is less.
[133:37]So if you are interested do visit the link and it will
[133:42]talk you through the process of how to set up a lasting
[133:45]power of attorney.
[133:46]So to summarize what we've said today, whilst you are able to
[133:52]make decisions yourself and you retain the mental capacity to do so,
[133:56]you have the autonomy to either accept or decline any given medical
[134:00]care or treatment.
[134:02]Lasting power of attorney is a really useful tool that can be
[134:07]used to ensure that your values are represented and preserved when decisions
[134:12]are made in the future in situations where you may not have
[134:16]mental capacity yourself and therefore for this reason setting up a lasting
[134:20]power of attorney is something inshallah we should all consider.
[134:25]Thank you very much for your time.
[134:26]Uh can I please if anyone does have any questions please do
[134:29]feel free to reach out to me inshallah please can I ask
[134:32]all of you to recite aloudham uh I've been asked to just
[134:48]uh remind the inshallah on behalf of the carbala project team that
[134:52]there will be a brief talk on the journey of Imam Hussein
[134:56]by the karabala project team occurring in the courtyard and uh this
[135:00]will be delivered whilst the Baruk is being served.
[135:02]Um the Kurbala project team have asked that gents remain on the
[135:07]gent side in the in the courtyard and the ladies remain on
[135:09]the ladies side for that inshallahhammed.
[135:24]Man, Allah.
[135:56]Hussein.
[136:16]Hussein Hussein is Hussein.
[136:31]Ali Hussein Muhammad bin Ali Muhammad Musbu Ali Ali bin Muhammad Hassan
[136:43]bin Ali Hassham I align.
[137:35][Music] All [Music] for [Music]
0 Comments
sort Sorteer op
- Top Reacties
- Laatste Reacties
Volgende
9 Bekeken · 13/01/07
10 Bekeken · 25/03/18
14 Bekeken · 25/03/20
11 Bekeken · 25/03/23
