Marriage and Family - Sayed Hassan Qazwini

24 المشاهدات· 24/03/22

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[0:00]smell r-rahmani r-rahim al-hamdu lillahi rabbil alameen Oh salat wa salam o

[0:09]allah i fulfill MBA evil Marceline's sayidina wa novena muhammadin wa ala

[0:14]ala nabina paradeen Allah Allah Allah from the divine my dear brothers

[0:21]and sisters assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh no smelly roschmann rahim [Music] women and

[0:34]: : cumin cumin as well [Music] as well generally Toscano in

[0:57]Hajj eleven accommodatin warmoth in fiend allah color I aren't in laconia

[1:08]tafakkur ooh Allah subhana WA Ta'ala in this surah surah two-room the

[1:18]roman says that it is among his signs God signs that he

[1:26]has created partners for you from among yourselves meaning there are humans

[1:32]like you little Kuno alaihe so you may seek tranquility with them

[1:39]that's number one number two Waja Allah been accommodating voilá and he

[1:51]meaning Allah Allah puts between you my wife death love and Rama

[2:02]mercy in Nevada akela ayat in little minute of a karoon and

[2:07]the in in these are signs for those who reflect marriage is

[2:15]the most sacred institution and Islam my dear brothers and sisters and

[2:23]that's why there are many verses in the Quran as well as

[2:28]hadith by the holy prophet sallallahu alehiwassallaam family emphasizing the role of

[2:42]family and I'm going to go in detail about that the most

[2:50]important institution in our society is not the Pentagon it is not

[3:00]NASA it is not the White House it is not any observatory

[3:09]it is the family because once you build a good family it

[3:14]means that you're able to build a good community good society and

[3:20]if we fell and building a good family we fell in building

[3:28]a good society most inmates by the way the United States has

[3:36]the largest number of inmates in the world the largest 2.7 million

[3:44]inmates the largest by far the largest in the world most inmates

[3:50]this is what statistics say most inmates come from what they call

[3:57]psychologists and sociologists call broken homes broken homes where the inmate never

[4:07]had a chance to live a normal life with his paint or

[4:18]her parents they never had there was divorce there was separation there

[4:23]were violence there was domestic violence there was there was in the

[4:28]family and this is the bio product they buy a product of

[4:35]such marriage and such families is that it produces a criminal don't

[4:40]only blame the criminals for what they do my dear brothers and

[4:46]sisters it is unfair we need to blame the society and the

[4:51]criminal it is the society that produces criminals one sociologist says if

[5:07]you give me five kids I can make a doctor after form

[5:11]an engineer out of the second a teacher out of the third

[5:18]and a businessman out of the fourth and a thief out of

[5:23]the fifth it is the society it is the society that pushes

[5:33]someone to be a criminal or a researcher at a lab that's

[5:41]why Islam emphasizes the role of the family the Prophet sallallahu alayhi

[5:48]wa alayhi wasalam says juno soon murder EEMA late hey iran minja

[5:55]lucy FEMA's GD hada it is better for a man to sit

[6:04]with his wife and kids then to sit in my holy Masjid

[6:06]in Medina you know the Masjid of the Prophet and Medina is

[6:12]the second holiest Masjid in Islam we all know that every prayer

[6:19]you pray at the Masjid of the Prophet and Medina is multiplied

[6:23]how many times ten thousand times ten thousand times the Prophet says

[6:29]for a man to sit with his family and chat with them

[6:36]and spend some quality time with his family he will be rewarded

[6:40]more than if he spent some time in my message praying and

[6:50]worshiping God this shows that this institution is so important so significant

[6:55]in the eyes of Allah subhana WA Ta'ala the institution of marriage

[7:01]the family what have we achieved in the West well we have

[7:11]been able to build this great civilization we have been able to

[7:16]produce vehicles aeroplanes huge scripes skyscrapers internet buildings bridges you name it

[7:37]we have been able to raise family income and live a comfortable

[7:44]life that's all the truth yes we also have been able to

[7:56]offer the best medicine in the world the best medical care and

[7:59]health care in the world that's also true but what is it

[8:11]true also is the family in this country in general and in

[8:17]the West has been deteriorating house has a family house has become

[8:26]nothing short of a hotel you know in the hotel when you

[8:34]go to the hotel you check in you get your room you

[8:36]got your you do your business or usual desert business at night

[8:41]you go to your room and asleep you don't even know who

[8:43]your neighbor is the next door room you don't know them all

[8:51]those guests share this hotel at night to sleep then in the

[8:54]morning they all dispersed they go after their business without talking to

[9:01]each other isn't that what the family now is in this country

[9:04]a man leaves in the morning comes in the evening so fatigued

[9:09]so hungry he needs to eat after eating he wants to watch

[9:17]his favorite sport his hockey game and then he goes to sleep

[9:24]a wife would rise up in the morning she goes to this

[9:27]she drops the kids to school and then she goes to work

[9:32]she comes back in the afternoon fatigued and tired she wants to

[9:35]eat a few bites then she goes to sleep they hardly have

[9:41]the time to talk to each other they hardly have the time

[9:44]to talk to the kids they hardly have the time to communicate

[9:51]and even when they sit on the dining table nowadays they are

[9:54]busy with their iPhones checking them text messages their whatsapp their Facebook

[9:59]there is silent communication between it's a house looks like a house

[10:06]but in reality it is nothing more than a hotel that they

[10:09]share physically but they are separated mentally there is mental segregation Islam

[10:17]says that's not how family should be you need to spend quality

[10:24]time with your spouse with your children every single day children in

[10:31]this country spend more time with their peers at school that are

[10:45]thereupon parents a husband spends more time these days in this country

[10:50]with his female colleague at work than with his own wife a

[10:53]wife spends more time with her female with her male colleague at

[11:01]work than her own husband so do you tell me this is

[11:08]a family or it is guests at a hotel we have really

[11:12]turned into guests in a hotel Islam says you need to not

[11:21]miss that point no matter how wealthy how educated how advanced you

[11:27]become you should not lose sight family is family it is your

[11:31]rock and it has to stay that way and you should not

[11:40]lose sight about it so what does Islam suggest you Aslam says

[11:48]marriage has four objectives and please listen to that carefully Allah says

[11:55]women Aite and hella palek women and come as virgin he has

[12:02]a created partners for you the first objective latest kun Wilaya so

[12:08]you may seek tranquility with them this means that marriage a good

[12:14]marriage a good marriage a functional marriage is a tranquility it is

[12:20]a quiet tranquility for both for the husband and for the wife

[12:27]you feel serene you're supposed to come home tired from everything outside

[12:34]to basically relax you come home to relax you come home to

[12:41]enjoy your family to enjoy the meal to enjoy the peace to

[12:49]talk to your spouse and discuss various issues to vent out to

[12:54]share ideas and share thoughts and dreams is in that Witek run

[13:03]tranquility is to have a soulmate who shares your ideas and your

[13:08]dreams and pain to have someone you can confined in I have

[13:14]mentioned this before one one of the most essential human needs my

[13:23]dear brothers and sisters who are social beings we need someone to

[13:28]confine to and we need someone to talk to we need someone

[13:33]to vent out to this is a very important factor in psychological

[13:40]therapy and say Catterick therapy in this country the first day thing

[13:47]they do and their therapy they provide patients with a outlet for

[13:54]them to speak to let it out to confined and someone Allah

[14:00]subhana WA Ta'ala has a created your partner so the first thing

[14:07]you do you can find in her and she can find in

[14:12]you you share with her your dreams and your ideas and your

[14:17]ambitions that's a very lofty lofty object objective to have someone with

[14:25]you to share your ideas and your dreams and your pain and

[14:34]your aspiration this is a big big objective to have someone who

[14:40]shares same ideas same a plans same vision this is not something

[14:45]that can happen easily so the first objective of building a family

[14:59]and marriage is to to seek tranquility physical tranquility and mental tranquility

[15:08]mentally tranquility and everything is being put for sale now online you

[15:18]can shop online today anything from you know your underwear to an

[15:25]airplane a probably but tell me where can you shop for tranquility

[15:34]do you know any chain store that can sell tranquility where you

[15:40]can go and buy tranquility from do you know any place that

[15:44]tells you okay pay me two thousand dollars and we will give

[15:53]you two doses of tranquility no tranquility cannot be achieved through any

[16:00]transaction it can happen only if you manage to build a good

[16:06]family and having successful marriage that's the only way you can achieve

[16:13]tranquility people people who have achieved an empire of wealth they may

[16:24]fail in achieving tranquility because those are two different things you read

[16:31]about Jeff Bezos risk recently the most wealthiest person I guess or

[16:38]the second wealthiest and I'm not sure 111 billion dollars 111 billion

[16:47]dollars yes he was able to achieve this Empire but he was

[16:54]not able to achieve tranquility at home that after 25 years of

[16:59]marriage he had to divorce and each one would go on their

[17:03]way on their own way so having this objective is not something

[17:12]that could be achieved easily my dear brothers and sisters Aslam emphasizes

[17:19]this point Lita scoodle alaihe so you may seek tranquility with them

[17:27]and the only place you can find tranquility is at home not

[17:33]at the office work office at home not at the market not

[17:41]at Wall Street not anywhere you can find tranquility the only place

[17:46]you can find a tranquility is yet if you have a functional

[17:53]family you come home you forget about everything beyond the house you

[17:59]leave all your stresses out and you come home and you enjoy

[18:03]the tranquility the peace so be happiness and that is the first

[18:15]objective my dear brothers and sisters the second one is offering some

[18:26]type of immunity immunity from falling an immoral pit meaning marriage getting

[18:34]married would help both men and women to be satisfied physically and

[18:45]observe their energy through the right channel instead of seeking other avenues

[18:52]such as pornography such as prostitution or other ways the best way

[18:58]to protect oneself as a through marriage from falling in those immoralities

[19:08]by getting married that's why the prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam says Rakatan

[19:17]usally Hema Mutasa with her invincible in Iraq is alia as a

[19:23]to raka to raka to a unit of Taraka prayer unit of

[19:34]torah has more war - raka of prayer performed by a married

[19:45]man or a married woman has more reward than 70 raka 70

[19:50]raka of prayer performed by a single man or a single wound

[20:00]why is that because a married man or a married woman her

[20:04]focus and their life focus on their relationship but a man who

[20:15]is not married his single he's all over he's all over he

[20:21]does not belong until he gets married yes he prays that there

[20:31]is no stability there is no focus so Allah says that marriage

[20:36]would bring some relative immunity from falling in those immoral diseases that

[20:45]I mentioned number 3 listen to this my dear brothers and sisters

[20:50]Waja alibi Nakumatt dayton or on the basis for any marital relationship

[21:01]has to be Magda and Rahman love and mercy and fortunately and

[21:06]fortunately we see in some materialistic based society families are not based

[21:19]on Rama and Mao at their own mercy and love rather on

[21:24]interest that's why the minute there is a dispute they run into

[21:34]a divorce lawyer and then they start discussing what is yours and

[21:38]what is mine fifty-fifty and they fight over the 50/50 and if

[21:47]they could not settle it peacefully then they resort to her to

[21:52]the court and they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on lawyers

[22:05]hundreds of thousands of lawyers of lawyers make living out of people's

[22:12]disputes marital disputes in this country that's why I always tell couples

[22:18]who who are experiencing some difficulties before going to the lawyer try

[22:27]to seek reconciliation go to an Amman shave an elderly person a

[22:33]wise person and seek some kind of counseling because once you go

[22:38]to the lawyer plus they will keep milking you up and they

[22:46]will encourage you to seek divorce and they will tell you come

[22:49]on I will help you with this and two lawyers are making

[22:55]big money out of those two couples those people are suffering and

[23:03]those lawyers are making money so in Islam in our religion the

[23:10]family is not based on a transaction on interest it shouldn't be

[23:17]that way a husband and wife are one unit they shouldn't talk

[23:24]about your property my property they shouldn't talk when we get divorced

[23:28]who will take what why you even talk about divorce the Prophet

[23:37]says in Abbeville halal and ilaha Paula the most hated permissible act

[23:44]in the eyes of God is divorced it is permissible but it

[23:52]is aided by God God hates divorce without palatal men on test

[23:58]ERC Allah when two young couple get divorced over silly issues then

[24:06]the they would cause the throne of God to shake the throne

[24:18]of God which week so a family should be based on love

[24:23]and mercy and Napa and Murat and a fiction and not all

[24:33]about my bunny my interest there is no love and the family

[24:39]I assure you there will be no love in the society I

[24:45]ask you this simple question my dear brothers and sisters have you

[24:49]asked yourself this a question before why we have so much violence

[24:57]in this country why once in a while we find a young

[25:00]man a mad man taking his rifle and shooting students in any

[25:09]public schools high school or colleges why this is happening in this

[25:13]country what is lacking here you know what is lacking love those

[25:18]men who are involved in those acts lack love if you go

[25:28]and analyze their life and see what is what has gone wrong

[25:32]with them it is love they never had loving father or a

[25:38]loving mother they never experienced love at home there was violence their

[25:44]homes were rocked by violence by roughness no love at all when

[25:51]you live at a home where there is no love at all

[25:57]experienced then this is the outcome you may produce a madman who

[26:02]may become a threat to the entire society in any minute love

[26:10]this society lacks love and where love comes from from family you

[26:16]cannot put it for sale and any in any chain store it's

[26:24]in the family if I cannot find it in the family I

[26:26]cannot find it anywhere else there is no other source of that

[26:37]can provide me with love so Islam says if a man serves

[26:41]his wife at home with her home chores Allah will award him

[26:51]with so much reward and vice-versa if a woman serves her husband

[26:57]at home and our children allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala will reward her abundantly

[27:04]jihad Amaro activist not a bani jihad for a woman is to

[27:14]be a good wife a good mother jihad for a man maybe

[27:17]sometimes is to go and defend your country you land but a

[27:25]woman's jihad is in taking care of her husband and her children

[27:30]that is our job so this is a very important goal this

[27:43]is very important objective to have love affection now and finally the

[27:58]fourth objective is to build a family children good children not any

[28:07]children good children my dear brothers and sisters making children is not

[28:16]a difficult task but building good family and raising good children is

[28:24]a difficult task the choice you make every time you see good

[28:28]kids around keep in mind that there have been so much effort

[28:36]and time has been put this never happened accidentally never happens accidentally

[28:42]to have good kids trust me any time you see a good

[28:46]kid keep in mind that his or her parent has put so

[28:53]much time care and effort behind that takes a lot of time

[29:01]to do that now how do I do that how do i

[29:03]establish a good family the first thing my dear brothers and sisters

[29:12]is a good selection if I'm about to get married I need

[29:16]to be careful who to marry I need to be very clear

[29:23]I shouldn't be fooled by false considerations such as physical beauty wealth

[29:29]fame none of that would matter I need to focus on the

[29:38]inner beauty if I'm seeking to marry a wife I should not

[29:41]be fooled by physical appearance the Prophet says yacumo macabre or demon

[29:51]beware the Prophet says beware of the greenery on the dumbster greenery

[29:55]on the Dempster below a macabre demon what's that greenery on the

[30:02]dumpster he says al maroc talis nah remember to sue a beautiful

[30:10]woman but from a very bad and corrupt family beware don't be

[30:15]fooled by the look only look as taking now taking you nowhere

[30:23]my dear brothers and sisters trust me always focus on the inner

[30:30]beauty because the physical ability is temporary temporary it will vanish one

[30:39]day but the inner beauty will never last by the way these

[30:44]days there is no beauty at all unfortunately in most cases it's

[30:54]mostly fake beauty they go and make surgeries one after another 50

[30:59]surgeries so she can look nice I mean tell me I'm not

[31:02]saying there is no beauty at all but most of the beauty

[31:07]you see in the TV and reality TV and on Facebook on

[31:15]our newspapers mostly is fake fake beauty you know they go and

[31:23]spend now thousands of dollars on on surgical operations so she can

[31:28]look better thousand dollars on you know lifting up the face and

[31:36]making the nose smaller or look better or other parts of the

[31:41]body you know they say a lady gotten car accident and as

[31:52]the Angel of Death came to take her soul she started appealing

[31:56]to him and pleaded with him that please I have I have

[32:05]kids I have five kids if I die they will be orphaned

[32:06]and the angel of death told her fine I give you another

[32:15]20 years for your kids so she was saved alhamdulillah and she

[32:21]did not die in that car accident what did she do she

[32:29]went and she did 15 surgeries plastic surgeries liposuctions you helped me

[32:38]with those names are not an expert so now she looks completely

[32:43]different two months later she got in another car accident and the

[32:54]angel of death came and took her soul and she says hey

[32:57]hey hey you told me I have a twenty years he looked

[33:02]at her and he says oh I'm sorry I couldn't recognize you

[33:07]was that you she's completely different now so be selective don't be

[33:20]fooled don't be fooled by physical appearance by money well unfortunately some

[33:28]families the first question they asked about the man when he approaches

[33:32]them how much he has how much he had what does he

[33:38]do how much he make every year what is going to help

[33:43]my daughter if my son-in-law makes a million dollars but he beats

[33:48]her every day every night if he mistreats her if he goes

[33:51]and drinks and comes back home a drunk every night what is

[33:57]how is she going to benefit from this relationship focus on a

[34:02]club focus on religion in a jar come the Prophet says seek

[34:12]two criterias only in a man asking for your daughter's hand two

[34:17]criterias only he Durga equipment alone Idina ho ho oppa if you're

[34:24]okay with his Deen religion he prays he fast waha lapa and

[34:32]he has a good lap he's not stingy is not frugal he's

[34:41]not selfish he's not arrogant if you find those criterias on him

[34:46]close your eyes and tell him yes don't worry about money money

[34:50]goes and comes don't worry about owning an apartment or piece of

[34:59]land those are turned pro repossessions he may not have them today

[35:04]tomorrow he may have them those are not essentials what is essential

[35:08]is a clap clap and Dean those two qualities you need to

[35:16]seek a clap and Dean and anything beyond and that how much

[35:21]money he has how many apartment he owns how much inheritance he

[35:26]got from his father that's all irrelevant my dear brothers and sisters

[35:31]trust me trust me don't be fooled by any other consideration other

[35:36]than religion and a flower and finally as a father as a

[35:48]mother watch out for your own personal conduct meaning if you want

[35:57]to raise good kids kids who do not lie you're not supposed

[36:02]to whine if you want your kids to come out to clean

[36:11]and not cheat you should not cheat kids look at you my

[36:16]kids look at me all kids look at their parents if I

[36:26]am someone who commits all kind of a fraud it will be

[36:30]a wishful thinking to think my son will be Jesus alia Silla

[36:36]this is a wishful thinking I need to be a good person

[36:42]I need to be a clean person I need to be a

[36:48]role model for my children before submitting my children into any school

[36:54]or any teacher I need to watch out my own behavior my

[37:01]own personal content because kids are my kids are observing you know

[37:09]kids subhanAllah humans humans have two contradictory innate in them one is

[37:20]they mimic - they invent human beings mimic your kids how did

[37:25]they learn your language from you they mimic you they mimic you

[37:28]they look at you how you speak how you pronounce a word

[37:33]then they do they do the same that's how our kids learn

[37:36]the language because they are emulating the parents and at the same

[37:42]time when they grow up or even when they are young God

[37:47]has given them the ability to invent to invent to expand they

[37:54]use their brain and here there are inventions discoveries scientific discoveries children

[38:01]at this age when they are small they act with all due

[38:06]respect like a monkey they just mimic whatever the father the mother

[38:15]says or does they mimic they follow they emulate you need to

[38:20]watch what you say before them what you do before them when

[38:26]you want to fight with your wife don't fight before your kids

[38:31]don't fight before your kids watch out for the words that come

[38:35]out of your world kids will learn a profanity not from TV

[38:43]not from University the first person they learn profanity from or their

[38:51]parents make that they do not hear any profanity make sure that

[38:56]the environment at home is encouraging for those parents who always ask

[39:02]how do I make my children pray very simple trust me very

[39:08]very simple you know how you pray at home if you pray

[39:13]at home they will learn if you wake up in the morning

[39:18]for the morning prayer they will wake up but if you don't

[39:19]wake up for the morning prayer what does make them wake up

[39:25]for the morning pray when you stand up every day on your

[39:27]Sajjad on emiram salia and you pray they will watch you and

[39:33]they will learn from you they will learn from you you are

[39:36]leading by example you don't need to tell them a pray pray

[39:44]pray just to pray at home while they are young and they

[39:47]would learn from you habitually if they would learn that you will

[39:55]not have difficulty how to teach my daughter to our job you

[39:59]were Hodja and she will learn from you how to teach my

[40:06]son too fast if I fast every he will learn from me

[40:09]she will learn from me the best way to teach your kids

[40:15]good values is by practicing those values Elana furthermore menina one more

[40:22]minute well Muslim ena well Muslim at via a men who moil

[40:24]am wat allahumma Velen albania humble heart and nakama g would our

[40:28]annacarl ha jet in Nacala kulli shayin Qadir euler era has more

[40:34]meaning I will mama knock knock restorative Mubarak al-fatiha Salam alaikum warahmatullahi

[40:55]wabarakatuh not today Sharla next week some people one second please some

[41:10]of our friends are suggesting that we leave 10-15 minutes in the

[41:14]end for AQ & a how many of you supports this idea

[41:22]raise your hand please how many of you okay so shall I

[41:24]next week we will dedicate last 10-15 minutes for a Q&A insha'Allah

[41:30]if you have a question please write them on a piece of

[41:34]paper please write them on a piece of paper and any writing

[41:39]that I can read and send them to me and inshallah I

[41:42]will answer them

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Marriage and Family - Sayed Hassan Qazwini

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Marriage and Family - Sayed Hassan Qazwini

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