Islam's Answer to Raising Teens in an Age of Confusion

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[0:17]Allah.

[0:25]Allah.

[0:28]Fore [singing] speech.

[1:04]All the foreign.

[1:51]Alhamdulillah.

[2:13]Alhamdulillah.

[2:36]Alhamdulillah.

[3:00]Fore!

[3:12]Foreign!

[3:14]Foreign!

[3:26]Allah.

[3:27]Fore!

[3:28]Foreign!

[3:36]for Allah.

[4:03]>> [singing] >> What's all foreign.

[4:54][singing] Fore!

[4:58]Foreign!

[5:00]Foreign!

[5:08]foreign.

[5:50]>> [singing] >> What the >> [singing] >> Don't Alhamdulillah.

[6:51]Alhamdulillah.

[7:10]Alhamdulillah.

[7:38]What's your sh the hero?

[8:02]What a speech.

[8:33]Honey, Alhamdulillah.

[9:13]Alhamdulillah.

[9:20]foreign.

[9:41]for What a [singing] All for What?

[11:54]Allah Why?

[12:38]Hussein Hussein Ali Muhammed Ali Wi for Allah.

[13:43]Allah.

[13:56]for one Allah [singing] Allah foreign.

[15:00][singing] All to talk Fore!

[16:09]Foreign!

[16:10]Foreign!

[16:15]Fore!

[16:26]Foreign!

[16:28]Foreign!

[16:35]Fore!

[16:47]Foreign!

[16:49]Foreign!

[16:56]Fore!

[17:09]Foreign!

[17:10]Foreign!

[17:17]forchech.

[17:47]foreign Fore!

[18:18]Foreign!

[18:20]Foreign!

[18:28]Hallelujah.

[19:13]Muhammad Ali Muhammad [clears throat] Muhammad >> [clears throat] >> Say dear

[19:44]brothers and sistersham thank you all for joining us tonight and just

[19:53]a quick reminder whoever hasn't joined the WhatsApp group please join because

[19:57]this is the best way you can see all the uh events

[20:01]and the announce announcements and the programs.

[20:05]I believe we have more than 1,000 members in uh in the

[20:09]group.

[20:08]Uh we're still hosting couple more community of this coming Thursday, February

[20:14]26 and March 5th, next Thursday as well.

[20:19]Uh ticket is $35 per ticket.

[20:25]Um and you can register online before uh Thursday.

[20:28]Also, do not forget we have kids program running at the same

[20:32]time next door at the school building with the sister Malik.

[20:35]And uh I believe the drop off starts at 8:15 and it

[20:41]finishes with the same time as our program.

[20:44]At the end of each lecture, there will be a QR code

[20:49]uh for a question and at the end of Ramadan, there will

[20:52]be uh a winner announced.

[20:54]Uh please support our center at least by sponsoring these holy nights

[21:01]in Ramadan.

[20:59]Um we do have few sponsors tonight.

[21:07]Haj Nabi Haj Dario Sadat anonymous donor on behalf of Hassan Ahmed

[21:12]Kasim and Kasim Khalifi.

[21:14]Please recite surah al fat for the souls of all our and

[21:20]please do not forget the unforgettable uh scholars, leaders and angels who

[21:27]sacrificed their lives for us protecting our religion and our lands who

[21:33]taught us the real path of imus and im and who also

[21:42]taught us the real meaning of dignity.

[21:44]and honor.

[21:46]Please recite Before we welcome our respected and knowledgeable guest scholar sah

[22:11]Muhammad Hassan Shara, I would like to take just a couple minutes.

[22:14]The first Ramadan in Islam started in the second year of Hijra

[22:21]about 14 years after the prophethood and it happened to be on

[22:28]Monday February 26 year 624.

[22:30]Several month before that, Prophet Muhammad migrated from Mecca heading to Medina

[22:38]and he waited for Imam Ali Alisam and before Fawatam and arrived

[22:44]at a small village on a specific piece of land called Kuba.

[22:49]That was also on Monday September 23rd 622.

[22:54]He was offered that land as a gift by people from Benu

[23:00]who owned the land and wanted to donate it.

[23:04]But the prophet bought it and I believe he paid it for

[23:06]by himself.

[23:09]The decision was taken to build a masid on it.

[23:14]They say the idea of building the masid was from Amar bin

[23:21]Yaser.

[23:19]Abu Aub Ansari and his wife honored the prophet by hosting him

[23:26]on that day for some time while the prophet's mosque and home

[23:30]were [clears throat] being built.

[23:32]It was quick and it took about 12 days to complete the

[23:38]construction of that mosque.

[23:40]No permits, no inspections, no architectural plans, no traffic studies.

[23:46]It was so quick.

[23:48]The mosque measured about 100 feet by 117 feet.

[23:53]So that's around 11,000 square feet.

[23:57]The roof which was supported by palmet trunks was made of Ben

[24:05]clay and palm leaves.

[24:04]The height was around 12 ft.

[24:08]That masid was highlighted in the Quran for its piety.

[24:27]So the founder was the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam and the

[24:32]companions and on the top of the list was Imam Ali Alaiisam.

[24:39]It was built by voluntary labor from him and his companions including

[24:47]women.

[24:48]The emphasis was on community contribution rather than monetary expense at that

[24:52]time.

[24:53]Therefore, the cost was measured in labor, devotion, shared resources as well

[25:01]as currency.

[25:02]But look how Islam grew from that point where there are now

[25:05]more than 3.5 million registered mosques all over the world because of

[25:14]the baraka of that masid first masid.

[25:16]And trust me no human being will ever be able to count

[25:21]the credits and azure and tawab for those who started and contribute

[25:25]contribute to that mosque.

[25:27]We here in Canton and its suburbs are trying to build this

[25:33]40,000 square feet community center and a mosque with the same concept

[25:38]of piety taqua inshallah.

[25:41]As you all know our plan is to groundbre.

[25:45]So you all know we have been trying fundraising for the last

[25:50]couple years after we initially bought the land and the success of

[25:55]these fundraising campaigns so far was all because of the community members

[25:58]and with the help and guidance of say Salah and the board

[26:02]members.

[26:03]So please let's keep doing this from our hearts to reach the

[26:08]goal of having this masjid built for the purpose of Allah subhanahu

[26:11]wa ta'ala and to have a great community especially for our kids

[26:17]and the following generations.

[26:18]Please reach out to us for any question and any kind of

[26:24]support inshallah.

[26:24]And now I'm honored to welcome Sam Muhammad Hassan Shah for his

[26:32]beautiful and amazing lectures after Muhammad Ali Muhammad.

[27:06]Thank you so much for that wonderful cover of the history of

[27:10]established on a Monday and today's also There's more.

[27:31]>> Hello.

[27:31]Hello.

[27:32]Thank you so much for giving us an overview of something valuable

[27:36]like that.

[27:37]And uh and I think we had school closings on Monday.

[27:43]No, no, we didn't.

[27:42]That would be very nice for your for those that have sponsored

[27:50]these nights for the of of the and the those who have

[27:57]paved the way for justice for those that are no longer among

[28:03]us today.

[28:01]Let us give them a Alhamdulillah.

[28:41]Allah.

[29:11]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in his holy book Please illuminate your

[29:31]hearts and bless this gathering with a very nice loud warm salathammed.

[29:41]My dear respected scholars, brothers, ancestors, there is a phase in life

[29:53]all of us have gone through irrespective of gender of social status

[29:57]and some of us are currently going through it.

[30:03]The parents are dreading it and it is the most bizarre, awkward,

[30:07]weird, interesting and chaotic phase a human will go through.

[30:16]The teenage phase.

[30:15]This period in life is where some shine, many crumble and that

[30:22]may not necessarily be the teenager, those around them, those surrounding them.

[30:26]Irrespective of be you Muslim or not this chaotic phase and period

[30:33]doesn't know religion doesn't know mahib does not know gender this is

[30:39]the only non-binary thing ever this phase and moment is truly a

[30:43]challenge it is unique but it doesn't need to be all that

[30:46]destructive it doesn't have to be the end of the story whenever

[30:53]you look at a chart of spiking In regards to depression, you

[30:59]find two is the common mean amount that has been recorded.

[31:04]No pun intended when we say mean.

[31:08]By the way, you have in the range from 60s, interestingly, the

[31:12]60s and under the 20s.

[31:14]There seems to be a parallel where those who go through this

[31:21]range of age tend to be depressed a lot, tend to have

[31:23]crises a lot.

[31:25]May not be a midlife crisis, but there's an interesting com correlation

[31:29]between end life and early life where someone begins to question their

[31:34]role in life.

[31:36]They don't feel that they're good enough.

[31:39]It's quite harmonious and unique that a person sees that the elderly

[31:44]go through something similar to the teenage as well.

[31:49]That might be due to perhaps feeling out of place, feeling like

[31:51]you're a burden in respect to those that are elderly, which is

[31:54]why Islam emphasizes so much take care of those that are less

[32:00]fortunate, not as strong.

[32:00]The elderly of your community is like that of a prophet among

[32:03]his people as well, honoring them.

[32:05]But as well as that very critical sensitive phase, it's bizarre.

[32:12]It's interesting.

[32:11]It tests the parents.

[32:14]You might be yourself a teenager and the many challenges irrespective of

[32:18]the fact that it is just a weird moment in life also

[32:21]include the psychosocial norms of society.

[32:25]Social norms of society are not useful.

[32:28]And every other week there's a new expectation, new trend, new type

[32:35]of attitude that they have to embrace otherwise they will feel out

[32:40]of place.

[32:39]This is a type of moment that people think culture sets the

[32:45]boundary.

[32:46]Culture is the expectation.

[32:47]And because we live in a world where you are open to

[32:49]expression, you are in fact not just open invited to express.

[32:55]How do we navigate?

[32:55]Be you a teenager or be you having teenage children or be

[33:01]you someone who simply cares for a person going through such a

[33:04]phase.

[33:04]You have a sibling, you have a cousin, you have your fellow

[33:07]Muslim brother or sister and you genuinely want the best for them.

[33:11]You have their best interest in mind with a very confusing materialistic

[33:18]objectifying rat raceesque world that we live in today.

[33:23]What are some of the Islamic guidelines as per navigating one of

[33:30]the most bizarre and truly testing and crucial phases in any human

[33:36]being's life?

[33:34]In Islam, we notice that there is no aspect in religion except

[33:40]if it was acknowledged, except if it was addressed.

[33:43]You are not a perfect religion unless you address everything life has

[33:48]to offer.

[33:50]And indeed, Islam did.

[33:49]We notice that if you look overview the advice that has been

[33:57]given generally speaking by the ims by the holy Quran as well

[33:59]and by the messenger of god go in the following manner.

[34:04]The first is before giving advice to those who are going through

[34:09]this period of confusion transitioning from child to now adults.

[34:12]It's a weird phase.

[34:15]You don't know what's happening.

[34:16]Is before advising them, you be the role model.

[34:23]Advise yourself.

[34:21]You be the example.

[34:25]Genuinely speaking, the first to any person is mama and baba.

[34:31]The first scholar they emulate.

[34:33]The first they do of are their parents.

[34:36]You can't expect as a parent to hope your child will be

[34:38]well to not mingle with the wrong crowd to not take that

[34:43]wrong substance to oh my kid will never do any of that

[34:45]check their search history for goodness sake once in a while to

[34:49]have hope in them that much you have to be the example

[34:51]you don't want them to listen to music or exhibit A has

[34:55]to also be something good the Quran tells us this all you

[35:04]who believe First safeguard yourselves then what's the next then your families

[35:11]what metaphorically speaking Allah subhana t says you who believe my address

[35:21]is to you Muslims first safeguard yourself from the pitfalls hurdles obstacles

[35:25]confusions go the extra mile to first understand and navigate some of

[35:32]these areas in life that will sweep up your children from their

[35:35]feet first to see if your feet haven't been swept up.

[35:39]Are you obsessed with music?

[35:40]Are you obsessed with bad habits, mingling with the wrong people before

[35:43]I come and try to impose that on my child as well?

[35:47]I remember flying from Naj to here.

[35:49]You know, you you've all flown possibly I think at one point

[35:52]I think in this weather we all want to fly somewhere although

[35:55]you don't want your fast to be invalidated.

[35:57]So fly afterah.

[35:59]In any case, you always hear the announcement on the plane in

[36:03]the event of the unlikely whatever.

[36:05]If the mask oxygen mask comes down, first huh, first put it

[36:10]on yourself, then help someone else.

[36:12]What's the idea behind that?

[36:16]It's hard to give when I don't have much to give.

[36:18]I want to fill your cup with my empty cup.

[36:20]It's hard to provide that.

[36:24]First, let me fill mine up.

[36:24]I want to help you but I have to have the resources

[36:28]to also do it.

[36:27]I need to first get myself in a good position foundation then

[36:32]go and impart my wisdom and I say wisdom because all that

[36:36]we have is from Islam it's from this holy household from these

[36:38]14 we take from them and we give but first we have

[36:43]to understand what we took.

[36:43]I need to be the prime example.

[36:47]I can't be lost.

[36:47]I can't be that bad example.

[36:48]I have to make sure that I as a parent come out

[36:52]or I as a role model or I as an older sister

[36:55]or I as an older brother or I as an uncle aunt

[37:00]something or I as a friend genuinely simply care for my other

[37:02]friend I need to be there for them.

[37:04]I remember in another country so not here let's not try to

[37:09]put two and two I remember personally this is my personal uh

[37:12]case study there was a friend who I know a person a

[37:17]young man a young brother in that critical phase of confusion I

[37:20]receive a phone call this was a few years back in a

[37:26]different country so I get a phone call and I pick up

[37:27]and I pick up and little did I know it wasn't him

[37:34]it was his own mother and so say I'm calling using his

[37:40]phone my son's phone I want to talk to you I need

[37:41]you to come and see him I'm questioning his worldview he's doubting

[37:49]faith now and he's I genuinely think has left the religion of

[37:53]Islam his identity is shaking could you come and see him because

[37:57]you're in town you're not here too long and he likes to

[38:01]hear from you sometimes and just come over and I'm thinking you

[38:04]want me to come over and when you can't help him for

[38:09]example I I have to come to his room he's locked himself

[38:11]in his room I don't know I don't know I did this

[38:15]I asked a few I decided to go I said how bad

[38:19]can it be it's someone that I do know and his mom's

[38:21]asking and you know what if I can help let's try our

[38:27]best knocks on the door and then his same mother opens the

[38:32]door the first thing I I noticed were two dogs running across

[38:36]the living room.

[38:39]Two dogs.

[38:37]Second thing I noticed was well I mean this is a Muslim

[38:43]family, Shia family.

[38:42]I use this example because it's real world implications that can affect

[38:46]all of us.

[38:48]The mother was not wearing any hijab.

[38:50]In fact, very comfortable home clothing and that was totally fine to

[38:54]her.

[38:54]And now you come and go knock on his door and guide

[38:58]him out of that situation.

[38:59]I mean there's going to be no matter what I can do,

[39:04]what a scholar can do, what a role model figure can do,

[39:07]what a speaker can do, what a whatever can do, at the

[39:10]end of the day, they're going to stay inside a house where

[39:15]there are quite obvious areas of improvement needed.

[39:16]No one is perfect.

[39:18]This doesn't mean that just because a person doesn't dawn hijab necessarily

[39:22]or maybe owns animals as such in the house dogs that we

[39:25]clearly have a hadith that say there is an element and degree

[39:29]of that needs to be observed that just makes things more complicated

[39:31]but at the same time that's a good place to start yi

[39:35]if you genuinely are concerned for those who you want to nurture

[39:38]properly I get to the person's room and I say hey man

[39:42]it's good to see you you know I was invited um what

[39:44]seems to be the issue here this phase can trick you a

[39:49]lot especially if you're bombarded with societal expectations on listen if so

[39:54]long as it feels right that's that's basically the worldview these days

[39:58]if so long as it feels right and it doesn't harm anyone

[40:00]then you just embrace it this is a liberal ideology in Arabic

[40:05]it goes like this you are free so long as you don't

[40:11]harm anyone else so what's the big deal here clearly young men

[40:14]especially and especially if they go through these critical phases in life.

[40:18]You know, you got hormones running crazy.

[40:21]You got expectations of what it means to be a man and

[40:23]then you got mood swings and this and that.

[40:25]Then in a house, you have, for example, what is supposed to

[40:27]be a chasteed, modest, motherly figure.

[40:31]These things can conflict.

[40:33]This person sees his experiences are wired in a bizarre way.

[40:36]These are real world implications.

[40:37]Of course, he's going to be confused.

[40:40]His mind is telling him something.

[40:41]His faith is speaking something else.

[40:45]Yet his parental source of originally knowledge, comfort, sense, reason.

[40:51]Mom is flipping the script all of a sudden.

[40:55]I literally should have told her the the young man's name.

[40:59]I think you need to take a bit initiative and actually tell

[41:02]him, listen, because our faith says no.

[41:04]The thing is, you have to also walk the walk yourself.

[41:08]You can't tell him to, hey, believe God.

[41:09]Stop having these beliefs and thoughts.

[41:11]Our faith is good.

[41:13]when you yourself are not being the example of that faith.

[41:18]I'm just being honest.

[41:18]He hears dogs.

[41:19]Yeah, there are dogs all of a sudden.

[41:24]He hears hijab no mingling but clearly I mean what's going on

[41:27]over here?

[41:28]Fix that.

[41:27]Adjust that.

[41:28]Sometimes a parent can be the source of the problem.

[41:33]The thing is the parent initially agreed like yeah I agree with

[41:37]you.

[41:37]I play music and I you know what I go out and

[41:41]party and I say subhan Allah we are very blessed to live

[41:44]in a community where these type of lifestyles are foreign to us

[41:48]in dearborn but go outside Dearborn.

[41:50]It's common to hear things like I am she I am this

[41:55]but I am obsessed with gambling.

[41:55]I do one two and three but for me is something I

[42:01]will never let go.

[42:01]here.

[42:01]It's bizarre to hear that.

[42:03]But if you go outside where you're not as fortunate to have

[42:06]community figures, you have members of the community, be them not scholarly

[42:09]or whatever that may be, just at least people you can look

[42:13]up to.

[42:12]Here in the world today, there are people that are deprived of

[42:17]these things.

[42:16]But the best way to start is go the extra mile for

[42:20]your own children.

[42:22]It it helps.

[42:21]It's worth it.

[42:23]The other thing is besides being the role model yourself is to

[42:27]not have too much bizarre expectation.

[42:28]If you feel that listen I'm going through moments of obstacles in

[42:33]life and it may not be teenage phase it could be any

[42:36]phase in life but it is the impact and pressure of society

[42:41]that's made you a bit shaky one thing you have to always

[42:43]acknowledge is this is totally healthy it's totally normal life didn't come

[42:48]with instructions for every single moment there is there's intuition there's common

[42:53]sense as much as common sense is not so common these days

[42:59]but there is that it exists Allahawel tells us take these principles

[43:02]but then apply them where they need to be sometimes especially with

[43:06]all the distractions out there with music with feelgood culture.

[43:10]It can be challenging.

[43:12]One of the best anchors to have you're so fortunate if you

[43:14]have a good mom and good dad.

[43:17]Now they don't need to be perfect because there's no such thing

[43:19]as that.

[43:20]But at least they went the extra mile.

[43:22]And if that's not the case, it's totally fine.

[43:23]Be something that you would be making sure they would be proud

[43:30]of because they know they may have had shortcomings.

[43:33]Be the thing that they could say at least I know my

[43:34]child is doing good better than me, better than me.

[43:38]In this case, I remember hearing about how much the influence of

[43:43]a parent can be towards the child such that there is a

[43:49]hadith by the holy prophet of Islam sallallahu alaihi to which he

[43:52]says do not be so strict on your children.

[43:56]Why?

[43:57]In fact, there's a time completely let them be totally horse um

[44:03]horsing around It is recommended that the child is totally let's say

[44:21]wild is totally happy to marry make is totally misbehaving.

[44:27]It's recommended to that a young child is rowdy.

[44:32]Why?

[44:33]so that they released it from their system in their young age.

[44:36]When they become a bit older, they turn a bit more wise.

[44:42]I remember the story of one of our profound.

[44:49]This story is reported by him and his father's dad was also

[44:54]a major scholar.

[44:56]The story goes that was pretty much you could say a much

[44:59]when he was very young before he even became balik he was

[45:03]very much intelligent about Islamic law and everything but the thing is

[45:08]it's before he became balik so it's not that he has to

[45:10]pray although one might argue he's mas he's distinct as a young

[45:15]child if you're like a boy who's let's say 8 years old

[45:17]that's rare these days but if you're eight years old and you

[45:23]are conscious of your obligation you realize what you need to do.

[45:26]You know prayer that is that may happen.

[45:29]That is the case.

[45:28]There are um there are promising young children as such.

[45:35]They say was a lot like this as well.

[45:37]He was very intelligent at an early age before they become physically

[45:41]mature.

[45:42]Was like this.

[45:43]Sometimes the the hadith about him goes as such.

[45:46]Sometimes he would be rowdy.

[45:49]At the end of the day, you're not going to blame a

[45:52]seven-year-old for running around, jumping around, breaking things, but he would be

[45:57]rowdy, but he was still very smart.

[45:58]So, whenever his father would chase him to just grab him for

[46:04]a moment, that discipline has to exist.

[46:04]You're not a good parent if you don't discipline.

[46:07]But discipline within hikma, with not being this oppressive dictator, what's going

[46:11]on with some families these days, Subhan Allah, you hear these stories,

[46:13]but they're bizarre.

[46:15]not but discipline whereby you confine them to not breaking more of

[46:18]the windows for goodness sake at least he would run around his

[46:21]father would chase him the thing is he's not miff he's just

[46:24]intelligent mashallah so he knows there's an ayah of the Quran if

[46:30]I say it's that dad has to do ayat of they are

[46:39]in as well these are the They say there's a way to

[46:46]memorize this something along those lines to remember what the have this

[46:54]it's not the whole surah it's one ayah in the if the

[47:01]ayah is recited it's it's a salah actually it's considered a salah

[47:05]which is why it is discouraged for sisters who cannot pray during

[47:09]the phase that they avoid this ayah because it's a salah it's

[47:14]a salah as As such, people cannot pray during certain times.

[47:16]In this exact case is a type of prayer as well.

[47:20]Just the ayah, not the surah.

[47:21]So, he would run and his dad would chase him.

[47:26]He would recite the ayah and he's not m he can continue

[47:28]running, but dad has to drop down and do sujud allowing him

[47:33]the chance to escape from his father.

[47:34]Interesting.

[47:35]Mashallah.

[47:36]But this shows and reflects that even a grand scholar eventually was

[47:42]known historically to be the first to be crowned with the title.

[47:49]He's buried in the shrine of But that's it.

[47:56]Why?

[47:59]Let them mess around.

[48:01]Some bears are too strict, too tough, too rough on them.

[48:03]Tough love.

[48:04]But chill, man.

[48:05]They're kids.

[48:05]What do you expect them to know?

[48:06]That's why the hadith says he's a master.

[48:18]He can do he or she can do whatever they want.

[48:21]For the first seven, this hadith is narrated in multiple ways.

[48:23]By the way, the second seven, consider them like a slave.

[48:28]Don't slave them, but have more expectations and standards.

[48:30]After that, they're your buddies.

[48:32]Treat them like you would treat your buddy.

[48:34]invite them to your gathering.

[48:35]So on and so forth.

[48:37]I don't say this because what does it concern me?

[48:39]I don't have a teenage kid.

[48:42]Either you don't have now or you will or you deal with

[48:43]whether you're the dad or mom or the brother or the sister

[48:47]or the friend.

[48:47]This is still a responsibility on many people here.

[48:51]The second thing from besides being the role model example yourself.

[48:54]If you want them to behave first behave yourself, help yourself then

[48:59]you can help your family.

[49:00]That's how it operates.

[49:03]The second thing is to totally submerge yourself with their lingo and

[49:08]who they're hanging out with.

[49:11]Be in tune with what's happening now.

[49:13]You can't.

[49:12]I've heard this so much and this is a lousy excuse.

[49:16]My child, hasha, they would ever do that.

[49:19]But what do you know?

[49:19]What do you know?

[49:22]My children are amazing at acting.

[49:24]Amazing pretenders.

[49:24]Oh, they're the best.

[49:27]Incredible.

[49:28]My child, just dig a little bit.

[49:30]Don't be this helicopter parent, but at least know who the top

[49:33]five friends are.

[49:35]You know, in the United States, when they want to investigate a

[49:38]crime, they don't look at who on their phone are their parents

[49:42]to go and ask further questions.

[49:43]They look at who are they texting more, who's their best buddy,

[49:47]because think about it, naturally, if on the side of the road

[49:49]you have a flat tire, is the first number you call typically

[49:54]going to be, "Mom," she might overreact.

[49:56]She might panic.

[49:56]Stay where you are.

[49:59]I'm sending the whole to go pick you up.

[50:00]Mom, it's okay.

[50:01]I just have a flat.

[50:03]No, but if you call your buddy, hey bro, calm.

[50:04]It's all right.

[50:05]I can you do this?

[50:06]I got you.

[50:07]Forget it.

[50:08]End of story.

[50:09]No one needs to know.

[50:10]Naturally, to keep and maintain the peace of the situation, then there

[50:12]are certain things.

[50:14]Yes, if you may have faltered and made mistakes and you need

[50:17]urgent help, then you may not tell parents.

[50:19]Why?

[50:20]Although if you already have a relationship that's beautiful, that's established where

[50:24]your parents, this is ideal, where your parents are like your best

[50:27]friends, that's beautiful.

[50:28]where you don't feel afraid or un overwhelmed to talk to your

[50:31]dad like he's your buddy of course maintain decorum that's baba at

[50:35]the end of the day don't call him by his first name

[50:37]there's a decorum that's my mother at the end of the day

[50:40]but still beyond that they're are my best friends how lovely is

[50:43]it that your best friend is your mom and your dad that's

[50:47]so gorgeous that's amazing that I can just open up to my

[50:49]parents I can open up to my best buddy that's the ideal

[50:53]standard but to know their lingo I remember a dad came to

[50:56]me and said to me say my son has a habit with

[51:00]cussing and I can't get rid of it like I do talk

[51:04]to him says yes the thing is I'm a bit curious because

[51:08]I know the dad doesn't know English and I know the son

[51:12]doesn't really speak Arabic but maybe there are certain profanit profanities that

[51:17]I guess parents will still know in the other language I I

[51:20]I was I I hated to ask I'm like haj maybe there's

[51:24]new lingo these days it may not necessarily be because I the

[51:28]young man.

[51:29]I said, "Haj, could you tell me the first word of that

[51:32]bad word that he's using?" I don't want him to say it.

[51:33]What's the first word?

[51:35]He says, "R like R." So, I'm going through every movie in

[51:41]my mind that I saw.

[51:41]I'm like, "Where was an R?

[51:42]I can't think of that bad word." Then I went and I

[51:45]asked the young kid, "Your dad's saying this, what's the word?

[51:48]Could you spell it?" He said, "R I Z." I'm like, "That's

[51:54]not a bad word, is it RZ?" He's like, "You keep saying

[51:57]that, your dad's thinking that's a a swear word, habibi." Like, "What

[52:00]does that mean?" I'm like, "Honestly," and I asked the dad, he's

[52:03]like, "He's saying a word that's normal in the modern lingo." He's

[52:06]like, "But what does it mean?" To be honest, I don't know

[52:09]what it means.

[52:10]I don't know.

[52:10]Let me look it up.

[52:12]What does it mean?

[52:12]Someone charming or or flirtatious?

[52:15]To imply someone has, I guess, charm or or can can sweep

[52:23]someone off their feet.

[52:24]someone that I guess I remember one time I heard a person

[52:28]say say you know we're going to do our inshallah uh I'm

[52:33]like mah how did you meet them I raised her up what

[52:35]does that mean man [laughter] some families think that's a profanity so

[52:40]I'm like get in exactly get in the lingo man it it's

[52:44]it's hard to keep up with there's another one I found out

[52:48]the other day this one I didn't know so the the rword

[52:50]word I was familiar with I just didn't excuse me for not

[52:54]digging into the dictionary for it.

[52:57]But there's another word.

[52:57]This one I genuinely thought was like haram.

[53:00]You know the six seven dumb whatever.

[53:01]I'm like I had to research but that was I guess clear.

[53:04]There's another one dulu.

[53:06]And I and what does that one mean?

[53:10]Till today I have sheck.

[53:11]Is it something bad or not?

[53:12]But from what I could tell from a quick ch is that

[53:17]it means it's a it's a antonym for delirious.

[53:20]Am I correct?

[53:21]>> A delusion of you.

[53:23]See, I have to practice what I preach.

[53:26]But get to in the lingo.

[53:27]See what's trendy.

[53:30]See what's popular.

[53:29]Don't try to parents.

[53:34]I'm sorry.

[53:32]As as hard as you try to be cool and avoid some

[53:37]of the language, just at least learn what it means.

[53:40]You know, uh that one dad who thinks he's so cool, he's

[53:42]he's very cool in his own way.

[53:46]But don't try to be a teen to be cool as well.

[53:47]comes in and he says, "Hey, dulus and this and that and

[53:52]la boooos and it's not worth it, man.

[53:55]Just va just move on, bro.

[53:55]Just just at least be aware." So, there are some hidden trends

[54:02]that, you know, people are using terminologies.

[54:03]The the oldest one was no cap, you capping this and that.

[54:08]Parents were going crazy when they heard that one.

[54:09]What does that mean?

[54:11]Is that a pseudonym for marijuana or not?

[54:13]It's hard to figure it out, but alhamdulillah AI has helped us.

[54:16]Be a bit in touch.

[54:19]That's it.

[54:18]That means if you are actually concerned, don't be Mr.

[54:23]or Mrs.

[54:24]paranoid all the time, but sometimes go on the platforms that they're

[54:28]on as well.

[54:30]What you see is what people allow you to see.

[54:31]What people apparently view is what was granted permission to be viewed.

[54:37]What is not viewed, as we say, what is nonviewed is much

[54:43]more supreme, much more intense.

[54:44]Be on the same apps.

[54:45]Why?

[54:46]If you're insisting on being cool, be on Instagram as well.

[54:50]Be on Tik Tok, cuz they're on it.

[54:53]What you believe whoever else is on has the best interest of

[54:55]your pride and joy and child or your brother or your nephew

[54:59]or your niece or your best friend in mind?

[55:01]How do you know that?

[55:03]That's definitely not the case.

[55:03]like how you wouldn't let them out on the offline world to

[55:09]navigate, why would you let them out on the online world to

[55:11]navigate without any guidance so forth.

[55:13]So just be aware.

[55:15]That's it.

[55:14]It doesn't mean you have to fully embrace it because no matter

[55:18]how hard we try, we really can't.

[55:20]There's like age brackets for what you can cannot do.

[55:22]That's culturally accepted.

[55:24]But at least be aware.

[55:26]That's it.

[55:27]Learn your dulus.

[55:27]Learn your ribs.

[55:29]Learn all of these.

[55:29]Learn these terminologies.

[55:32]Just learn.

[55:32]Otherwise, you end up paranoid.

[55:34]What did he just say?

[55:35]What did she say?

[55:36]What are these hand gestures with one hand going up, the other

[55:39]one coming?

[55:39]What does that represent?

[55:39]Is that a satanic thing?

[55:42]I need to know.

[55:42]Has my son been bought by the devil?

[55:44]Help me out here.

[55:47]Be in tune.

[55:46]That's it.

[55:48]The third thing to this is to always make sure that you

[55:54]have, and some might take back from this, but you have access

[55:58]to a scholar.

[56:01]That's all I say.

[56:00]Sometimes the scholar, if you don't know the answer to, they can

[56:07]have the answer for you.

[56:07]Check your phone.

[56:10]Check it.

[56:11]Who How many of these people do you have ready on standby

[56:14]that in the event where you're just confused, you're lost, you've reached

[56:18]your limit as far as answering Islamic questions because they need answers.

[56:22]And this time of life is one where there are questions, hurdling,

[56:26]and showering.

[56:27]At least have someone on standby.

[56:30]At least have someone ready.

[56:33]At least be in touch.

[56:34]You have many people on your contact list.

[56:36]Have someone that can help navigate you.

[56:38]You have a lawyer.

[56:40]You're not going to have the lawyer of your faith, for example,

[56:42]just to at least push you, navigate you.

[56:45]You know, there are times of the year that it's very helpful

[56:48]Ramadan especially.

[56:49]I traveled.

[56:51]What can I do?

[56:51]I just did this.

[56:53]Am I able to fast?

[56:53]I have to go to the dentist.

[56:56]Is that going to break my fast?

[56:57]This is in regards to you as far as your teenager goes

[56:59]as well or if you yourself are one have access to someone

[57:04]who knows more and at least can navigate you.

[57:07]There's a lovely hadith by the messenger of God himself who he

[57:13]says that that it is highly encouraged to attend the gatherings where

[57:27]there are scholarly figures.

[57:28]And this part right here is quite fascinating.

[57:34]means that trouble them with your knees.

[57:38]What does that mean?

[57:40]It means sit so close that your knees basically hitting theirs that

[57:44]you get this close to them.

[57:45]If there's a gathering where there are people of you don't avoid

[57:50]that opportunity.

[57:50]Sit as close as you can because this is an opportunity that

[57:55]these are people who are inheritors of the holy message of allahel.

[58:00]But take advantage of that.

[58:01]My child was lost.

[58:03]my this and that.

[58:03]Okay, fine.

[58:04]Fine.

[58:05]If you tried your best, whatever, that doesn't mean the scholar can

[58:08]answer all questions regarding navigating because they're they're human as well.

[58:12]But it takes some hikma to at least be able to see

[58:14]yourself as not the full source of everything and get help as

[58:18]well.

[58:19]be it questions navigating identity crisis, atheism, questions about their faith, they

[58:23]open YouTube, they can easily they we people can be swayed by

[58:29]a beautiful worded video convincing them to accept Christianity convincing them to

[58:35]accept the other meth if you were so true where is the

[58:37]name of the in the Quran if you're going through a very

[58:40]transformative critical phase these are questions that are sound then baba mama

[58:44]what do we say to that it's not helpful if baba mama

[58:47]say I don't Then that's it.

[58:48]We're done.

[58:49]Let me speak to the local say local someone or local anyone

[58:55]who is a person of that's very essential.

[58:57]Having traveled and seen many communities myself a common denominator of families

[59:03]that are anchored are those who always have someone in touch from

[59:06]the world of the that's it from the world of the as

[59:10]well.

[59:10]And you would be surprised that scholars themselves do the same thing

[59:13]as well that listen at the end of the day I reach

[59:16]my limit.

[59:17]Let me go ask someone else.

[59:18]And that's beautiful harmony because it takes a village truly to raise

[59:22]a child truly.

[59:22]Doesn't take a house.

[59:24]A village.

[59:25]What does a village have?

[59:27]A scholar figure, an older sister figure, an older gentleman figure where

[59:31]all the men can fall back on.

[59:34]A wise grandparent, a business figure that are all anchored on principles

[59:37]of Islam.

[59:39]That is absolutely lovely.

[59:40]In fact, one needs to make sure that they can at least

[59:44]name the top three, four people they can hang out with.

[59:46]There's an eye of the Holy Quran that tells us so beautifully.

[60:11]was impeccably the best poet of the Jahili period before Islam.

[60:18]His poetry was so good that he would drink and then write

[60:22]you the most fire, see I know the lingo, the most fire

[60:27]poetry there ever was.

[60:28]And they would hang it on the walls of the Kaa.

[60:32]Al Asha heard about the message of Islam and he loved it

[60:34]and he wanted to set out to convert but the prophet he

[60:39]heard was in Medina and he's in Yemen and his best friend

[60:42]stopped him.

[60:43]Look at how that friend no a parents were there they if

[60:48]they had his best interest in mind they wouldn't have allowed him

[60:51]to be friends with someone like this.

[60:52]His friend comes and says, "Where are you going?" Well, I heard

[60:55]this religion.

[60:57]It's an awesome religion.

[60:57]He says, "But wait, his religion equates male and female." He says,

[61:02]"And that's why I want to embrace it." But his religion equates

[61:07]black and white.

[61:07]He's like, "And that's why his religion says day of judgment will

[61:10]all be held for account." That's why he's giving him reasons to

[61:16]convert as reasons that he shouldn't convert.

[61:18]And then he hit him with the thing that was really hard.

[61:20]But in his religion, I heard there's a verse that says he's

[61:30]banned alcohol.

[61:30]We said would drink then write.

[61:34]And he's like, "How am I going to write poetry if he's

[61:36]actually banned alcohol?" He said, "Say it ain't so." Like, "No, it's

[61:41]so." He's banned it.

[61:41]Like, "What do I do?" He's like, "It's okay though.

[61:44]I would like for you to convert because I'm your friend." Look

[61:47]how the shaitan comes in the form of an insan.

[61:51]That's true.

[61:51]He comes and he says, "But I want you to be happy.

[61:53]So I want you to convert.

[61:55]What I would like for you to do is spend a whole

[61:56]year doing what?

[61:58]Drink as much as you can.

[61:59]Then after the year, go and embrace Islam.

[62:02]But that's all I want you to do." I remember in Minnesota,

[62:06]there was a brother who wanted to convert.

[62:09]His name is Eli.

[62:08]And he said, it was Monday.

[62:10]He said, "I'd like to convert on a Friday because it's a

[62:13]holy day." It was during Sha Ramadan a few years back.

[62:17]And he's like, "I pick a Friday.

[62:18]So on Friday, what are you going to do?

[62:20]I'm going to take the shahada attain.

[62:21]So you're not Muslim now.

[62:22]He says, "No, but I want to be." I wanted to encourage

[62:24]him.

[62:24]Just do it now, man.

[62:26]You know the whole idea.

[62:27]Are you even guaranteed tomorrow?

[62:28]Let alone Friday.

[62:30]Now it was better.

[62:31]It's like, but Friday is a holy day.

[62:32]I want to make you habib.

[62:33]Forget the holy day.

[62:35]Just do it right now.

[62:35]This is your faith.

[62:37]That's it's like, "No, I'm adamant.

[62:38]I'm going to do it Friday." Okay.

[62:40]At least you're going to do it on Friday.

[62:43]So it's Monday.

[62:45]He has until from Monday to Friday.

[62:46]Some of the Shabbab with us, they came and said, "Eli, once

[62:49]you're Muslim, it's you.

[62:52]You can't go back to old stuff." Yeah.

[62:54]So they said, "Eli, go eat as much McDonald's as you can.

[62:58]Go do as much as the wa we're deprived of what you

[63:02]have.

[63:03]Lobster looks pretty tasty." Whatever.

[63:04]Go do all of that.

[63:05]Guys, the point is he wants to be Muslim because he likes

[63:09]to avoid these things now because he values halal.

[63:12]But it's the same idea.

[63:13]Of course it was said in just not seriously.

[63:16]Alhamdulillah he did embrace Islam on Friday.

[63:18]He made it alhamdulillah.

[63:19]Good good and he held back from doing any of those things

[63:23]as the waswas from some of the people came and dis told

[63:26]him to do.

[63:28]He though ala was given a year one year.

[63:30]What do you do bad?

[63:32]You will never be able to drink again.

[63:33]So spend the whole year drinking the most ugly drink makes you

[63:43]feel ugly done in ugly places around ugly people.

[63:44]Allah they're ugly around ugly people waking up feeling ugly what's so

[63:53]good about it expensive addicted disgusting says you know who invented it

[64:00]himself himself incredible after a whole year he does it he drinks

[64:04]and drinks and drinks but he still has in the back of

[64:08]his mind he's going to convert drinks and drinks a year has

[64:12]passed a gets on his camel and he goes Medina.

[64:19]Do you know what life is like on the outskirts of Medina?

[64:22]He gets a little cold.

[64:25]Gets closer to Medina.

[64:27]He gets a bit more of a cold.

[64:29]Then he has to settle because he's too tired and fatigued to

[64:31]continue.

[64:33]That same night he laid down and guess what happened to him?

[64:39]Yeah, he passed away.

[64:39]Allah records to us what he does on the day of judgment.

[64:46]Fascinatingly, Allah shows you the future about him specifically.

[64:53]Have you seen your parent bite their hand looking at you?

[64:57]What does that mean?

[64:58]By the way, I'm not speaking from experience, but what what do

[65:02]you think that means?

[65:02]It means they're going to beat you up in a second.

[65:05]They stare at you, but there are people, so they can't say

[65:06]anything, so they do one of these ones.

[65:08]They bite their the day the one who's oppressed themselves will bite

[65:12]their own hand.

[65:14]Mad at who?

[65:16]At their own self.

[65:20]What?

[65:24]How I wish I took the prophet's path sooner.

[65:27]How I wish I just embraced it.

[65:29]What does he then say?

[65:31]Woe upon me.

[65:35]How I wish I didn't take that guy as my friend.

[65:38]Why?

[65:40]But he's took me away from the path after it came to

[65:46]me.

[65:45]And to human always deceives people, but it wasn't Shayan.

[65:49]It was his friend.

[65:52]A friend can be Shaitan.

[65:52]Navigate your baba, ya mama, or parent who they're hanging out with.

[65:58]You as a bro or a sister to your friend.

[66:02]See, look for if you truly are their friend.

[66:02]And if your friend truly cares for you, they would ask you,

[66:06]"Hey, that person is a bad influence.

[66:07]Don't hang with them." And I'll tell you a couple things, and

[66:11]I have to say this.

[66:13]If your friend, if all they can discuss, and this has to

[66:16]be said, if all they can discuss are filthy, provocative profanities, that's

[66:20]all that comes out of their mouth, cut them off.

[66:24]It will rub off on you.

[66:25]If that's all they think about, if that's all they can say,

[66:28]if that's what life is like to them, if that's all that

[66:30]you hear when they come together is they have nothing better to

[66:33]offer society that they have to just speak about filth as such

[66:39]sensitive material.

[66:38]Maybe during even shah Ramadan people don't know when to stop cut

[66:43]that person off don't cut people off so quickly because people allahel

[66:48]hasn't himself cut off one day and I know me may have

[66:50]taken a couple times more one day with permissions of Satan here.

[66:54]One day a man do I have permission?

[66:57]One day a man came to to the Nebi Ibraim and he

[66:59]invited him to go to his home.

[67:03]After Nebi Ibraim helped him with wood he was carrying large lumber.

[67:05]He gets to the house he says I'd love to host you.

[67:08]Please you help me.

[67:11]He says sure.

[67:13]when he gives him and sits on the table spread the he

[67:18]Ibraim says he says he believed in as Allah he says no

[67:25]no no say bismillah right now please he says no no no

[67:27]I don't believe in Allah I believe in nimud as my god

[67:31]he said I just helped you and I'm helping a kafur forget

[67:33]you I leave he says what kind of a guest are you

[67:36]that I invited you Ibraim and you leave just because I don't

[67:39]accept your religion like that he says how what kind kind of

[67:42]a host are you who rejects God who made you and believes

[67:44]in I can't handle you has towards Allah he leaves the house

[67:53]comes down he says yeah Ibraim Allah says this old man he's

[67:57]disobeyed me for all his life say 80 90 100 years he's

[68:02]lived he's never once believed in me he's disrespected me and I

[68:05]still give him risk you couldn't handle him for one minute go

[68:09]back yeah Ibraim and Tell him you're sorry and say my lord

[68:15]sends his salams and says that it's not of to leave a

[68:17]gathering as such.

[68:19]Islam emphasizes invitations and gatherings.

[68:20]Ibraim goes back and he says I have to apologize.

[68:23]My God just informed me that it was rude that I decided

[68:29]to just leave when you had invited me and he has tolerated

[68:31]you for 80 years when I couldn't tolerate you for a minute.

[68:36]So he sent me back.

[68:37]The man then immediately broke down and he said, "If that's truly

[68:40]what your God said, I have never seen such a hospitable, humble

[68:46]God whereby he says this that I've disrespected him for 80 and

[68:50]he's blessed me." Truly Allah, he still blesses them.

[68:52]That's our Lord.

[68:54]But when you couldn't for a minute, you were reprimanded.

[69:00]I want that God.

[69:03]And he embraced that religion right then and there.

[69:05]Notice brothers and sisters, just because someone does have bad traits, that

[69:09]doesn't mean you cut them immediately.

[69:10]But it it depends if your kid or you know someone is

[69:16]very impressionable.

[69:15]You have to cut them off because they're impressionable.

[69:19]They can get easily influenced for their sake.

[69:21]But inshallah tala we can navigate these hurdles.

[69:24]Allahel has placed us in this dunya for a test.

[69:29]And among the biggest tests, the Quran says that there there are

[69:35]trials and that doesn't mean if one has a mistake, one falters,

[69:37]we give up.

[69:39]This is a test from allahel.

[69:39]We've all been there and just because you come from a good

[69:44]tree doesn't mean one bad apple doesn't emerge.

[69:45]Look at look at look at the prophet of of look at

[69:51]his wife for example.

[69:51]It doesn't matter.

[69:53]And also just because you come from a bad tree doesn't mean

[69:56]you can't have one amazing apple shine.

[69:58]In this religion you earn your respect through merit not from marriage.

[70:01]And we ask Allah to help all those navigating these critical times

[70:05]and periods and moments and phases in their lives and to bless

[70:11]us with the baraka of the holy month of Ramadan in that

[70:13]process.

[70:13]And one of the best place and I conclude to have that

[70:19]rejuvenating re-evaluating phase is in these massaged brothers and sisters.

[70:22]These areas where they anchor both youth, elder, senior, child, Muslim and

[70:28]non-Muslim on a path of inshallah decency, God consciousness and community.

[71:05]Alhamdulillah.

[71:09]You do not want to be

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