The Dangers of Anger - Sayed Jawad Qazwini

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Al-Rasoul Islamic Society
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In Lectures

In the 8th night of Muharram 2015, Sayed Jawad Qazwini discusses Anger from an Islamic perspective, sharing its harms and negative impact on a person's mannerism, illustrating some stories which demonstrate both extremes from the consequences of uncontrollable anger to the outcome of maintaining self power over rage emotions. As a perfect manifestation for controlling anger through patience, incidences from the life of Imam Ali (A.S) were also shared. The verse of discussion: "O you who have believed, respond to Allah and to the Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life. And know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart and that to Him you will be gathered" - Al-Anfal Verse 24 Al-Rasoul Islamic Society | Muharram 1437 - 2015

Transcript

[0:19][Music] the verse that I just recited Onto You calls on to

[0:37]the Believers all you Believers and accept and confirm the call of

[1:01]Allah and his Messenger to give you life to bring life to

[1:11]you meaning take the teachings of Allah take the teachings of the

[1:17]Quran take the Sunnah of and incorporate it within your lives for

[1:29]that is the only way for your community your family your you

[1:35]as a person to live a life and lead a life that

[1:43]is significant or else we have many individuals who breathe many individuals

[1:47]who blood flows within their veins but it's as if they're dead

[1:55]their existence it's like the existence of a person who dead and

[2:03]sometimes they happen to be worse than a person who has passed

[2:11]away why because if a person has passed away he and she

[2:14]are no longer a burden on society they no longer impose themselves

[2:19]onto their families onto their friends onto their neighbors onto the welfare

[2:26]system but there are s individuals who when they're alive they're a

[2:33]burden onto those surrounding them and of course he alludes to this

[2:43]he alludes to the principle that defines a man who is alive

[2:51]from a man who has died even though he breathes and there

[2:54]is blood circulating in his veins says people generally are dead even

[3:13]though they exist however the the scholars those with knowledge live as

[3:19]long as there is life on the face of this Earth meaning

[3:22]they outlive the years when they're physically on the face of this

[3:27]Earth he may be here for 50 years he may be here

[3:33]for 60 years he may be here for 70 80 or 100

[3:38]years but after this Alim after this scholar after this thinker after

[3:47]this philosopher passes away he still exists and he remains amongst the

[3:52]people with his knowledge therefore the opposite also applies those without knowledge

[3:56]those who live in a state of ignorance are individuals who are

[4:05]not alive even though they breathe today let us ask ourselves brothers

[4:08]sisters 1,430 years have passed since the dissension of this Ayah since

[4:18]this Ayah was revealed onto the heart of alam approximately 1,430 years

[4:29]let's ask ourselves as this um an um that is alive as

[4:35]this um an um that's living in a state of Awakening is

[4:44]it thriving on knowledge and I tell you if you want to

[4:49]evaluate an individual and the state of his knowledge and awareness and

[4:58]intellect you evaluate him through the times when he becomes angry for

[5:03]anger is the greatest sign of ignorance you always find people who

[5:09]don't know what to say who don't have a response they utilize

[5:14]Force if he can't give you a logical response he begins to

[5:21]use filthy language if he has muscles he begins to use his

[5:23]muscles if he has a military he begins to use his military

[5:30]and today let's look at the Cradle at the birthplace of the

[5:37]religion of Islam where Allah subhah waala sent the last Messenger to

[5:41]humanity and he began the message with read in the name of

[5:55]thy Lord the Sai Monarch who leads that Nation they write him

[5:59]a speech he can't read it from the paper every sentence in

[6:05]fact every two other words there's a mistake this ignorance also leads

[6:15]to anger whoever retaliates whoever speaks whoever expresses his mind whoever questions

[6:21]his authority must be killed must be imprisoned today if you look

[6:27]at the case of she Nim and nimmer this innocent man who

[6:33]is imprisoned why is he in prison is it because he was

[6:38]a terrorist is it because he gathered weapons is it because he

[6:42]was a drug dealer is it because he killed somebody is it

[6:45]because he tried to murder people no it's because he spoke his

[6:49]mind he expressed his opinion he remains in prison and Allah subhanahu

[6:58]wa ta'ala speaks of the ignorance that leads to anger within the

[7:05]Holy Quran Surah yusf The Encounter of yussef and z z she

[7:11]wants something from yusf YF doesn't give it to her once twice

[7:17]three times what's the end result she says send him to prison

[7:23]and she watches an innocent man a man with no crime rest

[7:29]in prison and of course if you look at Al if you

[7:34]look at Isis the groups who are terrorizing people beheading individuals it's

[7:40]due to their ignorance that had led to such anger such extreme

[7:46]anger that they take a human soul and they set him on

[7:54]fire to death such ignorance that has LED and to an outrage

[7:58]of anger that they're willing to kill and behead children and enslave

[8:02]innocent woman and of course sometimes we speak of others but we

[8:13]forget ourselves we also have some angry folks we have some angry

[8:22]people today in the first 10 days of muharam where we are

[8:29]commemorating the most holy days the most holy nights the greatest sacrifice

[8:36]the sacrifice in which completed the message of Adam and completed the

[8:45]message of Musa and completed the message of no and completed the

[8:50]message of ibraim that is why when you do the Zar of

[8:53]Imam Hussein what do you tell him until you come and you

[9:09]tell him he points out to this very important and delicate point

[9:18]he saysin Hussein is from me and indeed I am from Hussein

[9:25]my legacy will remain because of Hussein the therefore Imam Hussein is

[9:30]the continuation of 1,00 400 1,00 124,000 prophets and their struggle now

[9:41]in those holy nights and those holy days what do we do

[9:52]let's look at our own community and how they fight one another

[9:56]they discredit one another they accuse use one another over what over

[10:04]the commemoration of IM Hussein yes let's speak about those things let's

[10:09]actually discuss them let's put some remedy on them who wants to

[10:12]do the of IM Hussein in this specific way and who doesn't

[10:15]want to do the sh of IM Hussein in this specific way

[10:19]and what's end up happening we call each other CF this person

[10:24]is not sh this person is sh this person is outside the

[10:26]maab this person is within the maab yes you as a scholar

[10:33]you may have an opinion that this specific form this specific ritual

[10:37]ofah of IM Hussein may be wrong and another scholar comes and

[10:47]says no this specific mannerism of of IM Hussein is indeed correct

[10:50]right there is no reason now for us to take this to

[11:00]another step of taking each other outside the mhab taking our discussions

[11:05]on the internet making videos discing individuals and calling them names like

[11:12]I said we also have angry people and we have people who

[11:17]do not know how to channel and control their anger as well

[11:20]and it's a shame it's a shame that we sit in the

[11:25]school of Imam Hussein and the malalis of Imam Hussein and the

[11:29]days and the nights of such a great sacrifice but we waste

[11:34]our time with such minor issues we also have some individuals in

[11:41]leadership who take leadership position but they also remain angry and they

[11:46]don't know how to control their anger and let me say this

[11:54]their anger is strictly due to ignorance ignorance meaning they tell you

[11:59]such and such says you cannot listen to the speaker you cannot

[12:05]invite him you cannot supports him why because he doesn't follow the

[12:13]specific because he is not with this specific understanding and believe me

[12:22]I can open up and and start giving you exact details I

[12:26]don't have a problem with that but everyone here understands exactly what

[12:32]I'm alluding to you cannot support this specific speaker even though he

[12:38]attracts the youth even though he changes their lives even though he

[12:41]has for example a Content that will change our community but because

[12:47]he does not publicly endure such and such movement or such and

[12:54]such we can't invite him this is anger due to ignorance first

[13:00]of all how do you know the inside of the heart of

[13:04]this man do you know that he's against this do you know

[13:06]that he's against this movement do you know he's against this ideology

[13:09]did you go on his heart and ask him in fact in

[13:13]fact did you even see him and ask him maybe once you

[13:16]sat with him and you asked him and he told you otherwise

[13:20]yes but 99.9% of the times those are assumptions we assume we

[13:28]declare an entire War while Allah subhanahu wa taala in the Holy

[13:33]Quran States what similarly Brothers we sometimes have some angry folks within

[13:51]our communities and there is one of those or two of them

[13:54]or five of them or sometimes a bigger number smaller within every

[14:01]commun Community angry at the way people want to progress take a

[14:07]step forward and it's not just us every Prophet every IM every

[14:11]also had to deal with them one day Jesus the son of

[14:18]Mary imagine they know that Jesus was was born without a father

[14:27]he's a miracle they know that he's one day they saw him

[14:34]walk out of a breel bre they went to him saidah Isa

[14:40]shame on you you went to a breel just like when his

[14:45]mother gave birth to him they said to her that your father

[14:50]was a good man and indeed your mother was a pure lady

[14:54]what did you do oh maram but the same people the same

[15:00]people would see they knew who maram was they knew the purity

[15:13]of maram they saw that Allah sends her Heavenly meals yet they

[15:18]question where did you get this baby from so Allah says maram

[15:23]don't worry you don't have to respond to them tell them that

[15:28]I have observed I won't speak to you then she pointed to

[15:39]the baby how are we going to speak to him Allah made

[15:47]him speak similarly Jesus who who they knew who he who this

[15:56]man is he walked out of the breath they told Hima what

[16:01]are you doing there he said sometimes when a person's ill the

[16:12]doctor comes to him when a person can go and afford going

[16:20]to the doctor he goes himself but when he is extremely ill

[16:28]what happens the doctor goes to him I have a duty sometimes

[16:32]in our communities when we want to make changes there are individuals

[16:36]who become angry right away I'll give you an example I went

[16:42]to a community I said why don't you have a youth meeting

[16:44]why don't you have a meeting for the Youth let the youth

[16:48]get to know one another speak to one another interact with with

[16:52]one another exchange ideas with one another they said say now we

[16:55]did we did we had a a youth meeting twice and we

[17:01]gathered the youth but they were looking at each other and smiling

[17:04]at each other looking at each other and smiling for each other

[17:12]and that's it you just if this is the case then please

[17:16]tell them to take you know the GoPro cameras they put on

[17:20]their heads to school with them so that you monitor every person

[17:24]that smiles at them and every time somebody smiles to them this

[17:27]is not how things work Brother s we must be able to

[17:36]understand the ignorance that is caused by this anger and we must

[17:40]be able to find Solutions so that we can move forward don't

[17:44]let this ignorance turn into anger then it's never going to get

[17:50]diffused within your communities tonight I would like to examine the this

[17:59]topic this very important topic in the following manner number one how

[18:06]did Islam come and change the most ignorant community of the Pagan

[18:15]Arabs where did it start and when did it end number two

[18:21]how is it that we must employ the greatest form of jihad

[18:29]and the greatest form of struggle in order to control our anger

[18:36]and number three what are the three strategies that we may be

[18:47]able to employ to diffuse the anger Within usam see s Alam

[19:04]he was appointed to a community that would bury their daughters alive

[19:16]why because once he had a daughter his face would turn black

[19:24]meaning what meaning he would become so angry R he would become

[19:31]so upset that's why is it that my wife gave me a

[19:33]daughter she didn't give me a son and imagine this they were

[19:40]so ignorant that they didn't know this poor woman isn't the one

[19:44]that chooses whether she gives birth to a male child or a

[19:49]female child so they would take this poor innocent child and they

[19:54]would bury it alive they also had different tribes within those tribes

[20:00]sometimes disagreements would occur sometimes fights would break and of course the

[20:11]famous fight between Al and that lasted for more than 300 years

[20:17]more than 300 years would kill one another Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

[20:29]sent to them and worked day and night he fatigued himself he

[20:39]never rested in order to give them mannerism change their moral and

[20:47]ethical standards Alam says I was sent so that I would perfect

[21:01]the the ethical and moral standards of humanity so Allah subhanahu wa

[21:05]taala within the Holy Quran reminds them and tells them remind yourself

[21:12]of the times used to kill one another but with the arrival

[21:35]of Islam Alam turned into turned you into Brothers they say that

[21:42]in Medina in the last days ofam a man happened to have

[21:48]slaughtered three sheeps so he took those sheeps to the impoverished areas

[21:58]of Medina everybody's poor nobody has eight nobody has food especially meat

[22:02]so he took three sheeps he would go to one home they

[22:06]would say my kids have already slept hungry check the neighbors home

[22:10]maybe their children are still awake if give them the food they

[22:15]would go to the next neighbors they said we had some bread

[22:18]to eat you should check on the next neighbor maybe the next

[22:21]neighbor remains hungry until 40 homes 40 homes they sacrificed a meal

[22:34]they sacrificed an entire sheep they wouldn't take it because the morality

[22:39]and ethics that they had had changed came and he perfected them

[22:48]with his AK with his morality when a woman comes and dumps

[22:52]garbage onol on daily basis as asked by the sah this woman

[23:01]every single day day in day out every time you pass by

[23:06]she dumps trash on your head let's go and stop her let's

[23:13]teach her a lesson Allah says there is no need I'll be

[23:15]patient one day she'll stop until this woman fell illam then says

[23:25]today I don't see this woman she's not here they said said

[23:28]yesol Allah we asked she's ill she can't do the job anymore

[23:33]Allah took the hands of his companions he said let's go and

[23:41]visit her went to her and he took with him a Woman

[23:43]by the name of Leila she was the physician of Medina and

[23:49]Allah says to Lea see if this woman is in need of

[23:55]any treatment of any medication try to cure her illness this was

[23:59]the the daughter of when she was taken as a captive that

[24:12]brought her to looked at her and he said to her who

[24:19]are you she says my name is saf I am the daughter

[24:25]of is not a normal individual is not going to take his

[24:33]daughter as a captive or allow the Muslims to imprison her so

[24:37]he says to Muslims do you know who you've taken this is

[24:40]safana the daughter of the most generous man alive they used to

[24:46]give the example of hatam everywhere around the Arabian Peninsula were not

[24:53]going to show her any ill treatment so he freed her then

[25:00]he told her sa your father was a generous man and today

[25:05]you shall see generosity said between two mountains he said to the

[25:12]companions gather camels and cattles gold and silver clothes garments and everything

[25:23]that a caravan may need between two mountains and and he said

[25:29]to safana look at those between those mountains take that which you

[25:38]desire with you and go back home so she prepared herself after

[25:45]she rested with her Caravan with the woman and men whom with

[25:49]were with her and she went back to her brother hat her

[25:53]brother as soon ASI looked at his sister he said what happened

[26:00]she said gathered all the goods between two mountains and he said

[26:06]to me whatever you see is yours take that which you need

[26:08]in your journey and go back to your brother this brother he

[26:13]was Restless he said do you think we can go back tool

[26:16]how would he treat us she said he would treat you like

[26:21]your own uncle and the brother of your father one to S

[26:30]alai this is how s alai wasallam was able to manage this

[26:37]community change this community number two brothers and sisters the most important

[26:50]aspect of our discussion lies here how is it that we must

[26:59]employ the greatest for form of jihad the greatest form of jihad

[27:03]in order to control our anger the Dal Lama he has a

[27:13]beautiful statement they asked him once it's on YouTube you can go

[27:16]watch it he they asked him once they said to him do

[27:19]you get angry because you're always smiling and you're always happy do

[27:25]you ever get angry said of course I get angry but I

[27:27]don't let my anger control me I control my anger I don't

[27:37]let my anger control me I happen to be able to control

[27:44]my anger and don't tell me there is a man there is

[27:47]any man that walked on the face of this Earth that was

[27:52]ex that was able to exercise this principle better than the man

[28:16]who his name would shake the greatest of Warriors the man who

[28:29]never gave leave his back to an enemy in a battle says

[28:36]after me your test is patience and what did he witness not

[28:47]one not two not 10 not 50 calamities every day and every

[28:52]moment was a Calamity onto the heart of beginning from the and

[29:00]how they took his rightful right the away from him some people

[29:09]say wait they took the from IM Ali what's the big deal

[29:14]listen to this says to himass after the demise of when you

[29:24]walk the streets of Medina do people say Salam to you this

[29:30]is this is this is this is the man who they saw

[29:41]took him by the hand and he raised his hand and he

[29:47]said this is the man he says not only they don't say

[29:53]Salam to me when I say Salam to them they don't respond

[29:58]to my Salam so when he says this is the embodiment of

[30:11]allahar he saw his own wife the Beloved of go through the

[30:22]calamities that you went I was patient every man every woman who

[30:31]would say to Ali who would be considered a friend of they

[30:37]cut their dues from B Mal you stood with Ali you're considered

[30:43]a companion of Ali you're considered a friend of Ali we're not

[30:48]going to pay you from m one day sees him in the

[30:55]middle of the streets it's noon time the dazzling heat of Medina

[31:00]says to him yeah what is it that drove you out of

[31:05]your home and such an hour and such a time people are

[31:10]resting at home he said for three days we have not had

[31:17]food in our home and for 3 days there hasn't been a

[31:20]meal given to my children says the reason why you've come out

[31:36]of your home is the same reason which I have left my

[31:40]home says for three days your children have not ate so then

[31:47]goes and he borrows a from a Jewish man Jewish man and

[31:54]he gives the to mik and he says mikad go and purchase

[32:00]some food for your children then he goes to the mid and

[32:05]he begins Salah sends IM Hass she says I know your father

[32:10]is in the Masjid praying go and bring him Allah subhanahu wa

[32:22]ta'ala says thing when things become extremely difficult this was and his

[32:36]patients the firsta he came listen to this this is your history

[32:41]we must know our history the first khif he came and he

[32:49]said that has not appointed someone the people have asked me and

[32:57]they have made me your Khalifa anyhow the S chose him but

[33:06]how come the Muslims or the sakif didn't choose the second Khalifa

[33:10]the first Khalifa he came and he left now what about the

[33:18]second Khalifa how was he appointed by the by the sh or

[33:20]by Theif or by Allah or BYO Allah Abu Bakr in his

[33:27]last days in his last moments when he was extremely ill Omar

[33:33]went to him and he said to him write your so he

[33:38]wrote his that the after him belongs to then he took the

[33:49]took the and he gave it to the servant of Abu Bakr

[33:54]by the name of shadid and he said to him stand and

[34:03]read the of Abu Bakr that Theif after him is Omar I

[34:06]ask a simple question brothers sisters you who listen to those statements

[34:13]when wanted a pen and paper they told him you are ill

[34:20]the illness is Extreme in your body it's better that you don't

[34:23]write a but when it came to Abu Bakr and the time

[34:32]of his illness and his last moments give him a pen and

[34:38]paper let him write again the second went the third came and

[34:44]he went until they gave him unanimous they came and gave him

[34:51]a unanimous Allegiance when we examine the event of a and the

[35:01]sacrifice of Imam Hussein we don't examine this from theaa of yaid

[35:06]brothers and sisters this is our mistake we believe that Imam Hussein

[35:13]when yazid became Theif didn't give him the and that caused the

[35:19]death of Imam Hussein no what caused the death of Imam Hussein

[35:22]was the day of sakif was the very first time that deliberately

[35:29]the of had been broken had been forgotten after he became Theif

[35:40]they all gave him they all give him Allegiance and soon they

[35:43]broke the allegiance one after another came the Battle of jaml then

[35:50]came the Battle of sain then came the Battle of Nan until

[35:58]the man he had seen so much difficulty sometimes he would take

[36:03]one of his companions Malik K in the middle of the desert

[36:09]he would put his head into a whale and he would speak

[36:13]to the whale so when they struck him when IB mulam struck

[36:20]him with the sword on his head what was his statement indeed

[36:26]today is the day where I can receive my comfort and my

[36:32]salvation today is the day of my comfort and Tranquility first and

[36:41]I tell you brothers and sisters the greatest form of is the

[36:47]form of where you have to break yourself where you are insulted

[36:54]you can retaliate but you control yourself for the sake of Allah

[37:01]that is the most difficult one when you have to exercise a

[37:05]form of selfs sacrifice say I can take this guy I can

[37:09]destroy his business I can destroy his home and his family but

[37:15]I'm not going to do that it's a form of self even

[37:21]though I'm being hurt today even though my business is not thriving

[37:25]even though he caused family problems for me even though I am

[37:31]taking the punches today I'm not going to retaliate back because some

[37:34]innocent people will be hurt that's called diffusing your anger with self

[37:41]sacrifice when he took and he struck him he sat on his

[37:47]chest to finish him but he spat in his face so he

[37:53]got up right away you all know the story he went he

[37:57]walked he diffused his anger then he finished him for the sake

[38:00]of Allah why that is the moment of self-sacrifice I won't do

[38:06]it for myself I'm not going to let the anger Within Me

[38:09]control me I'm not going to let the anger Within Me conquer

[38:20]me why because those who make us angry happen to conquer us

[38:24]they take over us they take over all of our faculties imagine

[38:29]in the morning you're going to work it's so far a good

[38:35]day you know it's been half an hour you're on the road

[38:37]somebody cuts and comes and cuts you off what happens they've owned

[38:45]us they've conquered us road rage no no no I have to

[38:48]now go in front of him and cut him off I have

[38:50]to make sure I go and I show him you know some

[38:54]sign language no no no no no no then the whole day

[39:02]is ruined that person happens to have the ability to conquer us

[39:06]those who make us angry and that which makes us angry takes

[39:10]the best of us how many people have lost their families have

[39:19]lost their children have lost their jobs because of their anger and

[39:29]sometimes brothers sisters anger could be the main reason behind our failure

[39:35]you see somebody he's brilliant he's bright she has the ability to

[39:43]become the most successful individual in her field but they fail why

[39:48]they fail because of their anger and Allah speaks of this within

[39:56]the Quran in an Ayah that many of you recite on daily

[40:00]basis what is anger in the Arabic language what is [Music] it

[40:24]all the say the here I did Injustice to myself why because

[40:36]then noon or you or Unice became angry with his community Allah

[40:43]gave them three days as signs three days signs consecutive signs and

[40:50]if they would not repent the punishment would come down as soon

[40:57]as the first day arrived and EAS saw the first sign of

[41:01]theab of Allah has arrived Eunice left them left them how with

[41:07]anger have you seen sometimes there's meetings business meetings the M the

[41:15]the meeting goes wrong and some people just boom leave shouting yelling

[41:23]he left his community with the utmost anger then what's happened to

[41:31]him the poor guy was thrown in the stomach of the will

[41:35]and you know sometimes when we're angry what happens Allah tests us

[41:45]even more you're trying to calm down but the test becomes more

[41:48]difficult it's when I have the ability do I have the ability

[41:54]to control my nefs this anger that is a faculty of my

[41:58]neps or is it going to take over me or is it

[41:59]going to conquer me so this poor man he was in the

[42:03]ship they said that there is a whale this well is hungry

[42:07]if we throw some one person out it's going to leave us

[42:14]alone so they said Let's do let's make a draw they drew

[42:17]three times and every time they did a draw this poor man

[42:22]you us so they took him and the whale swallowed him in

[42:31]the stomach of the whale and the Darkness of the ocean there

[42:40]we realize oh Allah I wronged my family I wronged my children

[42:46]I wronged my wife I wronged my husband now I have regret

[42:53]why did I do this sub Ya Allah I did I did

[43:05]to myself before others and that's why you find that many of

[43:10]the elders unfortunately when they become old where do they reside in

[43:17]their child's home and their daughter's home and their son's home no

[43:20]no no no no no no no they take them to the

[43:25]foster care they throw him there they said for 60 years you

[43:27]were whining and yelling and shouting we just want to get this

[43:30]over with go every 3 months they won't go and visit him

[43:36]or look at him why I'm not saying this is correct but

[43:40]I'm saying there has to be a reason why this was caused

[43:45]let's not be the cause of our isolation with our families let's

[43:49]not be the cause of our isolation with our friends you find

[43:55]some people they always have problems with their friends and every time

[44:01]it's their fault allahar I don't like this person and such and

[44:06]such person why because he wronged me okay maybe he wronged you

[44:09]tomorrow there's another fight what happened this time he wronged me another

[44:14]fight who wronged you now who caused this he wronged me this

[44:22]is almost impossible let's look at ourselves let's see where the problem

[44:28]lies the maalis of IM Hussein brothers and sisters are meant to

[44:36]perfect us purify us change us change our families change the way

[44:40]we live he was known for his he was known for his

[44:53]he was known for his mannerism for his ethics they say a

[45:04]scholar from Iran the of went to the of Na by the

[45:11]name of n so nari went all the all the all the

[45:12]they went and they visited him except he was a so he

[45:22]said maybe the say sees that because he is a say and

[45:26]I am not a say I should visit him and there there's

[45:27]nothing wrong with that so he took his folks he took his

[45:31]students he took his those who surround him and they went to

[45:35]visit acted as if he doesn't know this man they sat down

[45:42]he didn't even ask him of his situation didn't speak to him

[45:46]didn't so they left the students of n said look at the

[45:54]say he's so rude he's so dis respectful as if he doesn't

[46:01]know you you should have said something he said no maybe he

[46:05]was not having a good day maybe he really didn't know me

[46:10]maybe he has something against me I'm not aware of there's no

[46:14]reason to talk about this so now they're expecting to repay the

[46:17]visit three days pass the say doesn't come thei says let's go

[46:25]and visit the say again they went and this time even worse

[46:33]they say it doesn't even get up for he just says and

[46:35]start speaking to his own students n is shocked imagine if this

[46:44]had happened to us I go and visit someone and they don't

[46:53]respect me and the second time I visit them it gets worse

[47:01]let's teach this guy a lesson go sit down on the internet

[47:06]and write something the second time the third time n says I'm

[47:14]leaving tomorrow back to I like the say he doesn't like me

[47:21]it's okay I'm going to go and visit him again as soon

[47:24]as they arrived they saw by the door he took the hands

[47:30]of naraki and he kissed it and he said to him I

[47:35]read the book of I wanted to see if nari is the

[47:40]embodiment of his book yes it's a big test every moment when

[47:50]narak is saying he's saying to himself it's okay calm down you

[47:54]don't have to be angry every every moment when he's walking back

[47:59]to's home it's a Jad of the faculty ofs he has controlled

[48:08]it every time in every moment didn't respect him it was a

[48:16]struggle within him what should I say what should I do but

[48:19]he managed he was able to take care of that NFS to

[48:25]control that NFS and that's what says it's my NFS not the

[48:33]NFS of my neighbor not the NS of my cousin not the

[48:35]NS of my husband not the NS of my wife it belongs

[48:40]to me I make sure I control it I hold on to

[48:48]it doesn't hold me it doesn't control with ta with piety number

[49:00]three what are the three steps brothers and sisters in order for

[49:09]us to take full control over our faculties and be able to

[49:18]diffuse this anger number one is to acknowledge that we're angry CU

[49:22]every person gets angry when you you're angry acknowledge that you're angry

[49:30]but look for the reason is it a negative reason or a

[49:33]positive reason because sometimes we have a a negative reason to be

[49:39]angry sometimes it's a positive anger when for example when it comes

[49:44]to a father and a mother towards their children if you never

[49:50]become angry I don't mean angry take the slippers you know or

[49:53]the no no no this is not what I'm talking about no

[49:57]anger anger to control them or else beating your children shouting at

[50:02]them in a manner where they get scared they can't sleep this

[50:06]is all Haram and it has its own rulings no no anger

[50:12]to control them anger to give them ethical and moral standards teach

[50:17]them it's positive you know some parents they're like ATM machines does

[50:23]the ATM machine get angry no ATM machine doesn't get angry even

[50:26]if if you beat it up it doesn't get angry you just

[50:30]press the pin and every parent has a different pin you know

[50:33]you press the pin it gives you money they take the money

[50:38]put it in their pocket and they walk away ATM machine this

[50:42]child when he grows up the famous line says if you aren

[50:54]the one that gives Adept to your children morality to your children

[50:58]ethics to your children others will be the one that gives them

[51:03]adab you should be the one that gives them morality why you're

[51:08]waiting for others another example of anger that is positive is the

[51:13]anger of a teacher it's okay for him to get angry and

[51:18]again I emphasize not the anger that you know some teachers they

[51:23]beat the student no no no no no what anger that disciplines

[51:26]them what one day IM with his companions and he was the

[51:33]of his companions he was the of his companions he was walking

[51:37]and he suddenly became extremely angry but how would they become angry

[51:43]they saw that the face of the Imam is changing red the

[51:45]Imam is holding on to his fist so one of his companions

[51:49]said I've never seen you this angry why are you so angry

[51:57]he says yes I'm angry says why are you angry he says

[51:59]do you see that man and his son says yes he says

[52:03]the man is carrying the greatest weight on his back while his

[52:09]son is walking with him and he's talking to him the Imam

[52:13]became angry because this child doesn't have discipline his child this child

[52:20]now needs discipline how can you let your father carry the weight

[52:23]on his back while you're walking next to him yes the IM

[52:29]becomes angry one day Imad was walking with one of his companions

[52:34]one of his companions saw a man he's walking back there who

[52:41]was not amongst the followers of the Imam somebody so the man

[52:46]he said something about the mother of that man one of the

[52:48]companions of the Imam yes you better know the Imam became angry

[52:53]the Imam said don't speak to me now leave you don't deserve

[53:00]this company he said his mother was ma his mother was not

[53:08]even from she was not Muslim she was a pagan he says

[53:11]was she his mother or was she not his mother was she

[53:16]one who gave birth to him or was she not how can

[53:19]you say that about him so this is the mannerism that we're

[53:26]ought to take sometimes there is positive anger yes we get angry

[53:30]to discipline we get angry for the sake of Allah sometimes we

[53:36]see certain things and the and the anger takes over us because

[53:40]of Allah because of because of IM Hussein because of the this

[53:46]is positive but what is the negative one the negative one is

[53:51]when the anger doesn't have a reasonable or a rational explanation for

[53:55]example we come home food isn't ready if you get angry doesn't

[53:59]have a rationale behind it doesn't make sense if you're fighting with

[54:05]your wife because she didn't eyeon your shirt doesn't make sense if

[54:10]you're fighting with your husband because for example he won't let you

[54:14]read his text messages it makes sense sometimes it doesn't make sense

[54:25]the reason why we're angry angry and I tell you I wanted

[54:28]to speak tonight unfortunately we don't have time I wanted to to

[54:33]speak about Teen anger the anger of the teenagers the studies indicate

[54:39]that the greatest reason behind the anger of the teens is lack

[54:43]of communication within the family they become angry within sometimes you don't

[54:49]see this anger but they bite their nails they go and they

[54:54]draw on themselves sometimes what do they do what do they do

[54:57]they cut themselves they hurt themselves self-destruction don't think that oh this

[55:04]was no alhamd my kids they don't do this how do you

[55:08]know they don't do this they become so angry they start self-destructing

[55:13]themselves contemplating on suicide murder let me go kill a couple of

[55:18]people at school and then kill myself or let me overdose on

[55:19]some medication and this happens in our communities we have lost many

[55:25]youth we have lost many young Wom wom many young men because

[55:28]of the deep anger that they have the reason number one reason

[55:34]being lack of communication within the family if you are a father

[55:38]don't say I'm not going to spend time talking to my daughter

[55:44]this is the job of his mom of her mom let the

[55:47]mom speak to the daughters let the father speak this is wrong

[55:50]your daughter needs your love she needs your affection she needs your

[55:55]emotions she needs needs your hugs she needs your quality time go

[56:02]read the studies see that the women are in need of more

[56:09]of an emotional care than your sons and especially the emotional attention

[56:14]from their fathers similarly with the young men who go out there

[56:22]every day he finds himself I'm not good enough my father always

[56:28]wants me to be the best I've always failed him so there

[56:33]is this anger within there is this struggle within speak to them

[56:37]if you want them to succeed put them on the path of

[56:43]success help them succeed when you break his character every day he's

[56:46]never going to succeed when you tell him I send you to

[56:49]buy one thing look look look at what you've done you better

[56:55]believe you're destroying his self-esteem I tell you to come and speak

[57:01]you can't speak one sentence look at this guy my friend son

[57:04]how eloquent he is how beautiful he speaks why don't you learn

[57:07]from him you're destroying his self-esteem look at such and such your

[57:12]NE your your cousin he has a 4.0 in school what about

[57:17]you you have a 2.0 does your brain not work you're destroying

[57:22]his self-esteem don't let this anger built in within them go find

[57:29]the reason and help them overcome their anger within and number three

[57:35]brothers and sisters and with this we conclude the third law tells

[57:41]you in the Quran that the key for you to diffuse your

[57:44]anger forever to overcome your anger forever not momentarily as through forgiveness

[57:53]those who wrong you forgive them or else the anger will linger

[57:58]for 40 years the anger will linger until the day they put

[58:06]you in your grave we'll never be able to overcome it and

[58:10]Allah subhanahu wa taala in chapter 3 verse 134 alludes to this

[58:21]and says describing the when one of their signs is that they

[58:28]pay while they have and while they don't have yes indeed when

[58:35]I have money in my pocket and I donate it's not a

[58:39]big deal because I have and when I don't have I never

[58:49]say no this is the first sign and those who control their

[58:57]anger they get angry but they control control it and they forgive

[59:04]the people you've wronged me I forgive you I know what you

[59:08]have done and I know what you have said whether you tell

[59:13]me or you don't I aware of it but I forgive you

[59:16]then then Allah says no no no there's one more quality meaning

[59:24]those who wrong them how do they retali at with someone wrongs

[59:31]me I told them it's okay here is alone you wronged me

[59:38]go start a business you wronged me I'll take your kids through

[59:44]school but what's the result Allah loves them and imagine if Allah

[59:56]loves someone Imam one day he was performing the servant threw the

[60:08]bucket on his head he started bleeding so the Imam became angry

[60:11]immediately she said to him she reminded him of this Ayah he

[60:20]said I controlled my anger he said I've forgiven you then she

[60:34]said he said you're free a woman has just broken his head

[60:43]he's bleeding she's his servant he goes from forgiving her to freeing

[60:51]her similarly IM Hussein when we say this in a form of

[61:00]M when we say this in a form for us to cry

[61:04]we sometimes don't pay attention but Imam Hussein demonstrated an ability to

[61:10]control and diffuse his anger that I I doubt you would find

[61:16]anywhere in the history of humanity anywhere in the history one was

[61:25]when they saw IM Hussein in the beginning of the 10th of

[61:31]mam he was crying they came to him are you crying because

[61:37]your kids will be murdered because of your wives will be as

[61:40]taken as captives because you are thirsty because you are outnumbered what

[61:45]does he sayb I cry for them they're going to end up

[61:59]in the punishment of Allah because of me look at the heart

[62:05]look at the compassion look at the mercy second is even greater

[62:13]he elevates yes he elevated in the day of as every moment

[62:16]IM Hussein elevated a step forward the second was when the arrow

[62:21]landed in the heart in the neck of the infant he took

[62:30]the blood of the infant what did he do he knew that

[62:36]if this Blood one drop of this Blood Falls onto this Earth

[62:40]Allah will bring a wrath to the people like no other so

[62:45]he took the blood he threw it to the sky and he

[62:52]said and third allahar was when the arrow landed in the heart

[62:59]of Imam Hussein the blood gushed from his heart he puts his

[63:08]hand underneath Subhan Allah how he can diffuse his anger in such

[63:14]moments how he can control his NS how he can be so

[63:16]close to Allah in the moments of his sacrifice he took the

[63:22]blood and he put it on his beard he took the blood

[63:26]and he put it on his hand there so that the blood

[63:27]from the heart of Hussein doesn't fall on the soil ofb this

[63:34]is the IM this is the sent by Allah subhanahu wa taala

[63:41]to humanity and tonight we go once again to him and the

[63:44]10 days of mam are fortunately almost over brothers and sisters what

[63:51]have we achieved let us ask ourselves that if we haven't achieved

[63:55]what we must achieve yet then we ask him do the for

[64:04]us so that we become amongst those who if they were in

[64:12]the 10th of M present they would sacrifice themselves for you [Music]

[64:55]what all of you [Music] with Allah every man and woman present

[65:20]in this gathering with a sin forgive our sins bestow onto this

[65:28]gathering with your infinite mercy and compassion oh Allah every man and

[65:36]M within illness give them cure those who have passed away shower

[65:42]onto their graves from your mercy and compassion [Applause] Al for [Music]

[66:44][Music]

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