Overcoming Desires and Temptations - Sayed Saleh Qazwini | Muslim Youth Connection

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Transcript

[0:14]uh [Music] muhammad [Music] in [Music] hot dog [Music] [Applause] [Music] yes

[1:42][Music] [Music] man [Music] you [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] what foreign [Music]

[4:16][Music] mohammed thank you all for joining us for our weekly friday

[5:07]night program here at the muslim youth connection tonight's topic is overcoming

[5:13]desires and temptations i'd like to welcome our beloved scholar to say

[5:22]it after a loud star muhammad salam alaikum allah [Music] [Music] muhammad

[6:38]has created the human being in utmost perfection allah gave the human

[6:53]being all of the resources and the needs to live a happy

[7:00]prosperous enjoyable successful and fruitful life you see everything is under the

[7:07]disposal of the human being and this is why allah subhanahu wa

[7:12]ta'ala has honored the human being adam chose the human being over

[7:20]all other creation and the means of choosing the human being over

[7:28]all other creation is the gifts that allah has endowed with the

[7:33]human being beginning with the intellect the akal the power to make

[7:41]sound decisions in life that is a gift that allah subhanahu ta'ala

[7:44]has not given his other creation but allah subhanahu ta'ala gave that

[7:50]to the human being they call the intellect is derived from the

[7:57]in the arabic language they take words out of other words in

[8:03]order to bring up a meaning so the initial meaning of when

[8:08]you tie up a camel or an animal they call it akalanaka

[8:13]tying up the camel or the horse or the cattle so that

[8:18]it doesn't go away so that it doesn't get lost so that

[8:22]it doesn't harm itself and harm other things so then they started

[8:26]calling the intellect the ability to make good decisions sound decisions in

[8:33]life they started calling that akal because it is the akal that

[8:36]holds you in place it's the intellect that controls you and keeps

[8:42]you from making major mistakes in life so allah subhanahu ta'ala gave

[8:49]the human being every resource to live a successful healthy prosperous life

[8:56]and allah subhanahu ta'ala in addition to that allah sent prophets and

[9:03]messengers and divine books so that we build an afterlife as well

[9:09]an everlasting afterlife some of the gifts that allah has given us

[9:14]in this life is are mentioned in the quran allah wa ta'ala

[9:21]says i have given you this life and provided for you the

[9:26]means so that you don't go hungry and you don't go naked

[9:35]you're covered you have resources and you should have resources you should

[9:41]have water and you should have a cover no one should go

[9:47]homeless so this is how allah subhanahu ta'ala has honored people now

[9:51]one of in addition to the akal allah subhanahu ta'ala has gifted

[9:57]us with certain needs and desires and temptations for our own good

[10:06]allah subhanahu ta'ala created these needs that we have for the sake

[10:10]of survival for the sake of living a prosperous and healthy life

[10:15]so allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave us these desires for example hunger

[10:21]thirst the desire to rest the desire to grow a family the

[10:26]desire to make these are all desires that allah gave us because

[10:31]islam is not against all desires islam is not a religion that's

[10:37]telling you you know go live a boring lifestyle and have no

[10:40]desires and totally shut down your desires no you have desires but

[10:44]you have to control those desires that's the key point desires of

[10:49]individuals must be controlled otherwise if they're not controlled then the atal

[10:56]the power of the intellect it will lose its value it will

[10:59]lose its control and a person is going to be controlled by

[11:04]their desires so that means your desires dictate to you what kind

[11:08]of a person you should be your needs your greed your wants

[11:13]that's what will control you and define you allah says no you're

[11:16]a human being you have been honored you have been chosen over

[11:21]all other creation so have the akan have your intellect decide what

[11:27]kind of a person you are this is why allah subhanahu wa

[11:32]ta'ala chose the human being to be even greater than the angels

[11:36]why did allah subhanahu ta'ala order the angels to bow and prostrate

[11:43]to adam because this human being who looks so weak physically weaker

[11:49]than many animals and one virus could knock you out but this

[11:53]human being could reach such high potential where you become greater than

[11:58]even the angels how do you do that that is when you

[12:01]allow your intellect to take control but when you allow that your

[12:07]desires to take control what happens to the human being the human

[12:10]being becomes worse than the animals allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in

[12:16]the quran that this human being becomes worse than the animals they

[12:28]are like animals then allah says no they are worse than animals

[12:32]because at least the animals they're doing what they're meant to do

[12:35]they're doing their that's that's all that they are but sometimes some

[12:39]human beings they become worse when they fall to their temptations and

[12:44]they fall in their desires this is why we must take full

[12:51]control of needs desires temptations and i'm not saying that these needs

[12:55]are bad no allah created us with these needs however they were

[13:00]created for a purpose they were created for a reason allah gave

[13:04]you the need of hunger so you survive the need of rest

[13:08]so that you give your body the rest that it requires the

[13:12]need to eat and drink the need to mate so that you

[13:15]grow your family and you reproduce but once those desires are uncontrolled

[13:20]once they are out of control then this human being becomes worse

[13:25]than the lowest of the law this human being becomes worse than

[13:32]even the animals allah says in the quran whenever every person has

[13:48]enoughs and this neff's it has many dimensions your soul has several

[13:52]dimensions there's a part of your soul that pushes you and pulls

[14:00]you towards sin and this is mentioned in surat yusuf allah talks

[14:03]about it in the quran meaning that a part of the soul

[14:16]a part of your soul pushes you towards towards harm's way towards

[14:21]desires that's the part of us that is never filled that's the

[14:25]part that always wants more and every single individual they have their

[14:30]own desires some people their desire is greed they want power some

[14:34]people they want wealth some people they were they are willing to

[14:40]take so much and you know collect so much wealth that even

[14:45]if people are dying out of hunger they don't care right now

[14:49]there are multi-billionaires and there are people that don't even have food

[14:53]to eat for that day why because some people their desires their

[14:59]weakness is greed an attachment to this dunya thinking that they're going

[15:04]to take from this dunya with them to the afterlife when the

[15:07]reality is no one takes anything whether you have 60 billion dollars

[15:11]in your bank account or you have six dollars in your bank

[15:17]account everyone leaves in the same way and no one will be

[15:21]able to take anything with them some people their desires force them

[15:27]to go and oppress other people to go and start wars some

[15:30]people they have a hunger a temptation a desire for power and

[15:34]they're willing to cause wars and bloodshed and millions of people dying

[15:38]they don't care and other people they have a sexual desire a

[15:43]desire that is uncontrolled and as we mentioned these desires even the

[15:49]desire to collect wealth there's nothing wrong with it if you're collecting

[15:53]to provide for your family but it becomes wrong when you're collecting

[15:56]more than what you need imam ali says when people take more

[16:01]than what they deserve they are essentially taking from someone else they

[16:06]are taking from the resources of someone else and that's what causes

[16:09]poverty similarly the sexual desire the desire of intimacy that is a

[16:17]desire that is necessary allah has created everyone with that but when

[16:21]it's gone unchecked then it will not only destroy the individual but

[16:26]it will destroy the community and society as a whole so allah

[16:32]subhanahu ta'ala says the dimension that pushes you towards sinning and there's

[16:45]a dimension that pushes you towards taqwa that pushes you towards fear

[16:49]of god and having control and being afraid of the consequences of

[16:53]the actions and this is also mentioned in surat nafsel the quran

[17:06]mentions three souls three types of souls one is the nafsal amara

[17:12]basu in surat yusuf the second is the nflawama the part of

[17:16]you that after you have done something wrong every person with a

[17:24]conscious they feel the regret they feel the shame they feel the

[17:28]guilt some people because they're so used to sinning and doing wrong

[17:31]that they don't even feel that anymore and that's a sad reality

[17:33]that some people experience but typically when someone does something wrong they

[17:38]feel it they know that they have done something wrong this is

[17:43]the nafsa lawama the self retribute the self the part of you

[17:47]that tells you why did you do that why did you do

[17:51]wrong and then there's another one the third and the highest level

[18:03]of souls that is the soul that has achieved and attained inner

[18:08]satisfaction and that is mentioned in surat al-fajr suratul at the end

[18:13]of surat al-fajr at peace that is the soul that the intellect

[18:30]has taken control of that soul and the intellect guides that soul

[18:37]to allah where it is connected with god and allah subhanahu wa

[18:40]ta'ala is connected with this individual so desires are not always bad

[18:48]but we just have to make sure that the nafsel the dimension

[18:52]of the soul that pushes us that constantly pushes us to feed

[18:56]that desire that has to be in check and that has to

[19:02]be in control otherwise islam does not forbid the beauty of this

[19:07]dunya allah subhana wa ta'ala created beauty allah created halal means of

[19:13]satisfaction for people allah did not create it so people just look

[19:16]at it no if you have resources enjoy it if you can

[19:22]do something that's halal do the halal there's nothing wrong with that

[19:26]in fact allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says the beauty and the adornments

[19:46]of this life haram no in fact it is for the menin

[19:50]it's for the believers in this life and in the afterlife if

[19:56]you take the means of satisfaction and pleasure in this life and

[19:58]you follow the halal path then you will have unlimited resources of

[20:08]also pleasures and satisfaction so the point is it needs to be

[20:13]controlled when it's not controlled you will end up ruining this life

[20:18]and you will end up ruining more importantly the afterlife the achara

[20:23]people that their desires tell them to you know have greed and

[20:29]only collect for themselves and don't give others and don't care about

[20:33]others that ends up ruining their life they end up not enjoying

[20:37]what they have because they're so greedy they don't even want to

[20:42]spend and they destroy the afterlife those who have a desire and

[20:48]temptation for power they end up ruining their life and their afterlife

[20:52]those who have a desire for food allah says eat it and

[21:00]don't waste but some people they want to eat more than their

[21:04]body can handle what does that do that ends up causing suffering

[21:10]obesity right now in the united states 40 percent more than 40

[21:14]percent of the population suffer from obesity obesity what does that mean

[21:19]that means that's going to have a financial toll on the health

[21:22]care system that means that's going to cause you to live a

[21:26]unhealthy life and you're not going to enjoy life if you're unhealthy

[21:31]so be healthy take try to take the pathway of living a

[21:37]health healthy lifestyle and also the sexual desire when that's gone out

[21:44]of control you find that problems will emerge some people come and

[21:49]say you know what it's between me my body my choice i

[21:53]could do whatever i want and no one could come and tell

[21:57]me how i want to deal with my sexuality this is the

[21:59]mindset that we get right now you go to universities you go

[22:04]to schools but the fact of the matter is yes even something

[22:06]as personal and private as your own sexuality and your own method

[22:13]and means of pleasure that has an impact on all of society

[22:18]and all of community it does today there are means of satisfaction

[22:28]sexual satisfaction that are outside of the boundaries of marriage you know

[22:35]what these do islam is not against finding satisfaction islam says control

[22:40]it let it be tamed because the moment you don't control it

[22:45]then not only you will suffer but all of society will suffer

[22:50]i remember a while ago probably over a year a while ago

[22:55]a young man came to me and he tells me that he's

[22:59]suffering from big major psychological problems and personal problems so i said

[23:07]what's the issue he said right now i don't even know who

[23:12]i am i don't even know what kind of a person i

[23:13]am i said why he said because i was addicted to pornography

[23:20]i used to watch so much pornography that now my desires don't

[23:27]even work anymore i have lost that sense of desire i don't

[23:33]even feel anything anymore he wants to get married and he sees

[23:37]he's not even attached he doesn't even feel a sense of attachment

[23:39]so he goes to a psychiatrist you know he goes to a

[23:44]expert he has a few sessions and the lady tells him yes

[23:49]i know what the solution is the solution i know what the

[23:55]problem is you're a homosexual he comes and he says i'm not

[23:59]i don't have a desire for i don't have a desire for

[24:03]men but this is what she's telling him and now he's coming

[24:06]he's so conflicted and this is because of the problems that he

[24:11]caused himself he wasn't a homosexual they're trying to impose that on

[24:14]you because here in society if there's a particular mindset they'll impose

[24:18]it on you through netflix they'll impose it on you through tv

[24:21]shows through commercials at the university even if you're not identifying in

[24:26]one way they'll come and they'll try to push that on you

[24:29]he wasn't a homosexual but he had because of watching pornography and

[24:34]because of not controlling his desires he had kind of removed the

[24:42]senses where he doesn't feel any sense of excitement anything anymore isn't

[24:46]this a personal harm a direct heart that is caused because of

[24:51]the desire that is not in control this is why desires need

[24:57]to be in control this is why islam says there is the

[25:02]public sphere and there's the private sphere your sexuality your intimacy your

[25:07]desires your marriage keep that in the private sphere there are certain

[25:13]things in your life that need to remain private the whole world

[25:16]does not need to see it it does not need to be

[25:20]expressed in front of the whole world in this society they come

[25:23]and they'll tell you go out public go out and show and

[25:27]reveal your sexuality and everything that you have outside in front of

[25:32]the whole world then there's going to be no intimacy many marriages

[25:37]many people they get married and then five years down the line

[25:42]ten years down the line they discover that their marriage is not

[25:46]working why because everything's public there's no intimacy there's no privacy within

[25:51]the relationship every what's there what's there that is exclusive for the

[25:56]family the love that's within the family and this is why you

[26:03]see that families start falling apart communities it affects yourself we have

[26:10]a hadith it says that when adultery when zinna becomes an adultery

[26:15]is any relationship that's outside of marriage when zina becomes prevalent in

[26:21]society then many things will happen one almo death sudden death will

[26:31]come to people they don't know what the reason suddenly you see

[26:33]this person just died and had a heart attack now it might

[26:37]not be that person who died that person was committing adultery but

[26:40]this is something that will happen in society this isn't a hadith

[26:44]i'm not saying this another is when there is so much adultery

[26:51]there's a hadith that says that people will resort to homosexuality this

[26:55]is what's going on right now so the desires need to be

[27:04]controlled if they're not major problems will occur major problems will occur

[27:08]yahya the prophet of allah yahya was a prophet of god john

[27:14]the baptist yahya was beheaded and killed because of sexual desires there

[27:21]was a king yahya is the son of zakariyah there was a

[27:27]king who wanted to commit adultery with one of his maharan meaning

[27:31]a lady who was mahram with him he's not allowed to marry

[27:38]her basically something like incest so yaya was a prophet of god

[27:42]and yahya would tell him this is haram this is wrong the

[27:46]lady and the king they didn't like what yahya was saying so

[27:50]the lady she tells him i want the head of yahya to

[27:55]be brought to me and the king orders for a prophet of

[27:58]allah a prophet of god who allah subhanahu wa ta'ala praises in

[28:06]the quran that he became a prophet as a child he was

[28:12]beheaded and his head was brought to that lady this is why

[28:19]imam al-hussein alaihissalam on his way to iraq he would keep saying

[28:27]the statement he would say minham in hawaii he says this dunya

[28:39]has no value what kind of a dunya is this what kind

[28:43]of a life is this when the head of yahya the son

[28:48]of zakariyah was gifted as a gift to a prostitute of course

[28:53]imam hussain is saying this because he knows that his head was

[28:56]going to go to yazid and to kufa and to and all

[29:01]over the muslim world imam hussain was he was knowing what's going

[29:03]to happen this is because desires are not control because the desires

[29:11]are not in control we even have a according to some you

[29:17]know traditions he struck me because a lady promised him marriage and

[29:26]she said i want you to i want the mahara i want

[29:33]the dowry for you to kill amir al-mu'min so the desires need

[29:40]to be controlled now how do you control temptations and desires this

[29:44]is a big question this is the this is the million dollar

[29:46]question that many people suffer from they know desires are destroying them

[29:52]desires are bringing them away from god away from their family away

[29:57]from their themselves but there's no control some people they're basically they're

[30:04]controlled you know i don't remember which prophet probably yahya right now

[30:10]i'm not recalling he saw shaytan or dawud he saw shaytan and

[30:16]he tells him how do you see people what kind of a

[30:19]people what kind of people how do you deal with the people

[30:22]he says there's one group of people i don't even need to

[30:26]go i don't even need to call them they come running to

[30:30]me they come running to me some people that's it they're nufs

[30:34]it's such their their heart and their soul and their nafs becomes

[30:40]a nesting place for shaytan this heart that is supposed to be

[30:45]the haram of allah allah enters into the hearts some people allah

[30:49]is not in their heart shaytaan is nesting in their heart and

[30:53]sometimes shaytan doesn't even need to tell them what to do they

[30:56]go and they do the haram they go and they do the

[30:58]wrong because there are two there's shaytaan telling people to do haram

[31:06]and sometimes it's the nafs it's your own self scholars say if

[31:09]you want to know the difference where shaytaan is telling you to

[31:13]do the haram and where is it your naps here's the difference

[31:17]your nafs if you see yourself falling into a sin that you

[31:22]are used to something that you're always doing something that you enjoy

[31:25]doing then know that that's your nups that's not shaytaan shaytan he's

[31:29]going to tell you something that even your nephs your soul sees

[31:34]it as something wrong for example murder sometimes some people they go

[31:38]and they fall in murder or things that you did not even

[31:42]imagine yourself doing you don't even have a desire for doing yet

[31:45]people do it sometimes some criminals they go and they do certain

[31:49]things that even later on you come and you tell them why

[31:50]did you do that they come and they say you know i

[31:55]don't know that was shaytan so anyways how do we control the

[32:03]desires the temptations there are many ways one it begins with making

[32:09]the decision and putting the effort and working on controlling the desires

[32:16]you can't just live your life and say you know what hayalah

[32:20]whatever happens today happens today if it doesn't it doesn't no it

[32:24]requires a struggle it requires a challenge you know those people who

[32:29]are on a diet those people who are uh body conscious you

[32:33]go and you take them for example to the cheesecake factory and

[32:36]they're not gonna eat anything they're going to be very careful you

[32:40]go and you bring food in front of them they're going to

[32:42]be very careful they're always thinking about okay today i had this

[32:46]many carbs i have to have this many and i have to

[32:50]i ran this much and i have to do this much that's

[32:52]a health that's a healthy lifestyle we have to do that when

[32:56]it comes to sins when it comes to self-control i have to

[32:58]tell myself okay today did i watch tv did i do did

[33:02]i look at anything haram am i falling in we have to

[33:06]have that sense of awareness some people are not even aware some

[33:09]people are in a state of reflect in a state of unconsciousness

[33:13]they're they're just on autopilot living their life and they don't even

[33:18]realize that they're falling in haram that they're doing sin this is

[33:22]why it is very important according to the hadith of the seventh

[33:25]imam of al-admit he says he says he is not from us

[33:37]the albeit the one who holds themselves accountable every day what does

[33:41]that mean that means that every day when your head is on

[33:44]the pillow at night go through your day hour by hour go

[33:49]through what you did today what did i do from the time

[33:53]i woke up until the time i'm putting my head down to

[33:55]sleep what did i look at who did i talk to what

[34:00]did i listen to what things did i say did i fulfill

[34:04]my duties and obligations to allah we have to ask ourselves it

[34:11]requires exercise just like you go to the gym and you exercise

[34:13]otherwise you're not going to grow muscles and you're not going to

[34:17]be in shape if you don't exercise have you seen anyone suddenly

[34:20]get buffed if they're not exercising other than me of course you

[34:25]know alhamdulillah i have that but you it requires it requires effort

[34:31]it requires work you have to go to the gym if you

[34:34]want to be in shape if you want your soul to be

[34:40]in shape you also need to work it out you need exercise

[34:42]of the soul this is why amir al-mu'min he writes a letter

[34:48]to one of his governors was one of the governors of amir

[35:07][Music] of amir al-mu'min he's sitting in a gathering where only the

[35:19]rich people are invited and he's the governor of amir al-mu'min so

[35:23]he gets up and he writes him a letter go read that

[35:28]letter that letter shows what kind of a person amir al-mu'min was

[35:31]what kind of a leader he was and one part of that

[35:35]letter amir mamini talks about what he eats and what he lives

[35:38]by and he says i have two pieces of bread and i

[35:41]have two outfits and then he says he says he says my

[36:07]soul i exercise it in taqwa meaning i discipline it and taqwa

[36:12]why so that my soul can come at peace on the day

[36:19]of the ultimate fear the day of judgment the day where allah

[36:24]subhanahu wa will hold us accountable for even the slightest things that

[36:29]we've done allah will hold us accountable so he says i control

[36:33]and i work out and i exercise my soul so that when

[36:37]i go to allah meaning something that's slippery a slippery slope can

[36:49]you slap can you stand on something that's slippery and sloped it's

[36:54]really hard to stand on it he says the day of judgment

[36:58]the salaat is going to be slippery a lot of people are

[37:00]going to fall in the hell fire but i want to stand

[37:04]if i want to stand then i have to work out my

[37:07]soul then i have to be aware and i have to control

[37:11]my soul so we have to be very careful we have to

[37:16]control our souls and we have to not allow shaytaan to take

[37:21]control of our lives don't let your souls your desires dictate what

[37:25]kind of a person you are and don't let shaytan dictate what

[37:30]kind of a person you are adam is a clear enemy to

[37:44]you be careful the quran is a book of warnings telling us

[37:46]not to fall in the traps of shaitaan this is one be

[37:50]aware be conscious and know that there's a struggle that has to

[37:54]take place you can't just have self-discipline without going through a struggle

[38:00]without disciplining your soul second my dear brothers we need to know

[38:08]the impact of the sins if you don't know the impact of

[38:14]a sin then you're not going to see the consequences then you're

[38:16]going to keep falling into desires into temptations you're not going to

[38:21]care because you don't see the impact you don't see the problem

[38:26]if you see the problem then you're going to be careful right

[38:28]now people don't break the law normal people at least don't break

[38:33]the law why because they know that if they break the law

[38:35]they're going to end up in jail they're going to get fined

[38:40]hefty fines and people they know the consequences they see the consequences

[38:44]so that's why they stop at the red lights and they stop

[38:49]at the stop sign and they're very careful why because they know

[38:54]the consequences those who don't know or don't care for the consequences

[38:59]they break the law when it comes to allah we know the

[39:02]consequences the quran tells us what the consequences of oppression is what

[39:07]the consequences of doing haram are and if we don't care then

[39:14]we should care because the consequences are very severe losing out on

[39:19]this life not you know being fined here and there you could

[39:26]survive that but can you survive one day or one moment in

[39:30]the hell fire a lot of the people who go to the

[39:35]hell fire they're not in the hellfire forever some people they're khalidinafiha

[39:37]they're in their eternalized there's another group of people who will be

[39:42]there for a short while and then they will leave but can

[39:46]you bear one moment of that scorching hellfire no menin he says

[39:56]that you can't in the quran and rasulallah they tell us they

[40:02]describe to us how bad how severe it is because when you

[40:09]see the consequences of a sin when you see the consequences of

[40:13]doing wrong you're going to be careful you're not going to do

[40:18]wrong anymore allah says in the quran [Music] if you have knowledge

[40:30]of certainty you're going to see jahim you're going to see the

[40:34]hell fire and if you see the hellfire are you going to

[40:37]dare sin no that's why those who have yakin those who have

[40:41]certainty they don't sin he says if the veil was removed every

[40:52]one of us the veil is going to be removed once we

[40:54]die that's when we see reach certainty he says if the veil

[40:59]was removed my certainty would not increase meaning i have reached certainty

[41:03]that's why he was living a god-conscious life god conscious lifestyle so

[41:13]this is second know the consequences of the sin therefore you're not

[41:19]going to sin know the consequences of temptations and desires and those

[41:22]who have temptations and desires they will see the negative consequences in

[41:27]this life before the afterlife third my dear brothers is that we

[41:34]need to understand that desires and temptations they reflect a need that

[41:40]we have why do you have a desire why does your stomach

[41:42]tell you i'm hungry why do you have a sexual desire why

[41:46]do you have these desires these desires they reflect a need that

[41:49]is within us so why don't you satisfy that need satisfy that

[41:57]need that's it that's the solution take care of the need that

[42:03]you have because if you don't take care of it correctly then

[42:06]you might end up taking care of it in the haram way

[42:08]and then that's where it will become a problem so don't create

[42:12]that problem from the beginning from the first place don't allow that

[42:16]problem to begin and this is why islam embraces marriage this is

[42:24]why islam encourages marriage encourages marriage from a young age if you're

[42:28]able to if you're capable why not allah subhanahu ta'ala encourage encourages

[42:41]if they're poor allah will give them don't worry about their their

[42:45]their money but today we create problems when you come and you

[42:51]tell someone you're at the age of marriage they'll bring you a

[42:57]huge list of problems oh i'm not ready i haven't found the

[43:01]right person i have to finish my school i don't have money

[43:04]my parents don't allow it her parents don't allow it i'm doing

[43:08]this right now millions of problems excuses one after the other try

[43:16]to find a solution to these excuses just as you have millions

[43:20]of problems in life you deal with them you have to prioritize

[43:23]what's important because once marriage is delayed what's going to happen are

[43:32]the desires just going to suddenly turn off no the desires are

[43:36]not going to stop the desires are going to continue if you're

[43:40]able to control those desires then go ahead delay your marriage but

[43:46]if you can't control those desires you end up doing haram then

[43:48]that means you're putting yourself at a greater risk of problems then

[43:54]that means you're putting yourself in a bigger problem so put yourself

[43:59]in a position where you are going to be able to get

[44:04]married sooner than later and don't delay it but some people they

[44:06]say no no i want to have fun i want to get

[44:10]i want to get married when i'm 40.

[44:12]let me have fun right now let me enjoy myself no one

[44:15]tells me what to do no responsibilities no duties and then later

[44:19]on once i want to settle down i'll get married this is

[44:22]the mentality right now but that's a wrong mentality that mentality is

[44:25]the mentality that says i don't want anyone to tell me what

[44:29]to do i don't want to be disciplined i don't want to

[44:31]have control i don't want regulation this is why some people are

[44:36]against marriage why are there are right now some people they will

[44:39]live together they will have children with one another they live in

[44:42]the same house but they don't want to get married they don't

[44:45]want to sign that paper that's saying that they're married why because

[44:49]they don't want to be limited i want to leave the house

[44:54]whenever i want i want to come to the house whenever i

[44:57]want i want to have desires i want to do whatever i

[44:59]want whenever i want i don't want anyone telling me what to

[45:03]do this is why islam is against adultery and fornication because it's

[45:06]a relationship without a contract marriage all that marriage is is marriage

[45:11]is a relationship with a contract giving consent giving everyone knows what

[45:18]their expectations are what's expected from them what they should expect from

[45:23]others you know your rights and your duties and you go into

[45:26]that relationship that's what marriage is marriage is knowing signing a contract

[45:29]just like you sign a business contract you sign a marriage contract

[45:34]knowing what your duties and responsibilities are this is why in islam

[45:40]it's encouraged because it's going to keep you occupied it's going to

[45:43]it's going to give you a sense of immunity it's going to

[45:46]give you a sense of protection the one who gets married they

[45:57]have preserved half of their faith 50 of your faith has already

[46:00]been that's it you're safe now you have to worry about the

[46:06]other 50 why because all of these thoughts all of these temptations

[46:11]50 of the temptations and thoughts and desires they're all going to

[46:17]be gone they're going to be taken care of now the the

[46:23]fourth issue so find a solution to the problems find a solution

[46:27]to the desires and the halal you're hungry go and find halal

[46:31]food you don't need to go and you don't you won't need

[46:34]to have a desire to go and eat or drink something haram

[46:37]you have the desire for family the desire to make find a

[46:41]relationship that's halal of course if it's the time now some people

[46:45]they come and they say i can't right now is not the

[46:49]time there's also another solution in the same verse this brings us

[47:01]to the fourth solution that we had and that is we have

[47:05]a duty to seek chastity we have a duty to put ourselves

[47:11]in a health and safe space if you put yourself in a

[47:15]dangerous space then the chances of falling in haram are going to

[47:18]be more this is why allah in the following verse says those

[47:28]who cannot find nikah those who cannot get married what do they

[47:32]have to do should they go and hang out in the clubs

[47:36]and and watch haram things and talk to you know someone who's

[47:42]not mahram to them all night no allah says those who cannot

[47:49]find nikah then they have to seek avaf they have to seek

[48:01]chastity estaf estaf meaning seeking chastity well yes wealthy from his bounties

[48:10]meaning allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gives them what they need so this

[48:15]means that we should not go near fornication don't go near anything

[48:20]that will bring you away from allah don't go near your temptations

[48:24]allah says allah doesn't say don't commit zina don't commit adultery allah

[48:31]says don't even get near it don't even think about it don't

[48:35]even consider it what does that mean that means put yourself in

[48:40]a safe space that means put yourself in a healthy environment in

[48:44]a good place where you will not fall into zina and adultery

[48:53]and you do that through seeking chastity don't associate yourself with anything

[49:00]or anyone that might ignite that desire that might combust and start

[49:07]that desire don't go with friends with people that are going to

[49:13]kick in that desire instead be with the boring people at the

[49:19]masjid i'm just kidding no instead spend time at the masjid work

[49:23]on your spirituality find a halal relationship perhaps in the masjid somewhere

[49:31]else and find a solution but don't you don't need to go

[49:36]in somewhere where it's a toxic atmosphere somewhere where you will suffer

[49:40]and it will lead you to falling into more sins and more

[49:46]problems for example friday night instead of going somewhere where the chances

[49:53]of falling in sin are high come to the masjid thursday nights

[49:58]listen to the command teach yourself to focus on things that strengthen

[50:05]your bond with allah subhanahu ta'alah because see your desires if they're

[50:09]met in the halal way they're not going to want the haram

[50:11]so fill that gap fill that emptiness with something something that is

[50:17]fulfilling and therefore you're not even going to consider you're not even

[50:23]going to be thinking of anything haram one method of for example

[50:31]controlling and dealing with temptations is fasting fasting is very important especially

[50:34]these days these days the day is so short maghrib is you

[50:42]know 5 30 5 o'clock so your a your you could fast

[50:46]especially during the winter that will give you a sense of self-control

[50:49]and a sense of discipline another method is if you find yourself

[50:55]falling in the haram if you find yourself doing something that will

[51:00]take you out of the temptations and desires then tell yourself if

[51:05]i fall in this temptation if i fall in this desire then

[51:08]i will fast then i will give sadaqah then i will for

[51:14]example do this do something here so then this will make you

[51:17]be very careful it will make you be very careful not to

[51:22]do something wrong even though fasting and giving sadaqa that shouldn't be

[51:26]regarded as a punishment but at least it will compensate for the

[51:30]haram that was committed this is the fourth point and the fifth

[51:37]and final point is that be content with what you have sometimes

[51:41]some people when they teach their desires that i'm going to give

[51:47]you whatever you want and nafsa you know it's not only the

[51:53]youth and the adolescents that are dealing with desires that are always

[51:56]telling them you find people days before their death they have a

[51:59]desire that they want perhaps it's not a the sexual desire maybe

[52:03]it's desire for power desire for wealth everyone has desires teach your

[52:09]soul that i don't give you what you want at all times

[52:12]discipline your soul and when you discipline that one of the ways

[52:18]of disciplining the soul is by being content tell yourself what you

[52:22]have because people who want other things they're not happy with what

[52:30]they have but if you tell yourself i'm happy i'm satisfied i'm

[52:33]blessed with what i have then i'm not going to be looking

[52:36]at other things here and there things that might cause potential problems

[52:41]for me [Music] don't stretch your eyes to what other people have

[53:02]done the beauty of this life why do they have it because

[53:13]they're going to be tested in it you want some you want

[53:16]your test to be more you want allah to hold you accountable

[53:21]for more things just because someone has something doesn't mean that you

[53:27]need to have it tell yourself it's okay discipline yourself that it's

[53:31]okay be content with what you have if you do so you

[53:34]will find that you're not going to go after something that is

[53:39]more farther than your reach something that will potentially cause major problems

[53:45]for you so just to summarize the ways of disciplining the soul

[53:50]one is you should be aware and you should know that it

[53:55]takes effort it requires work to discipline the soul second know the

[53:59]impact of sins know the impact of what falling in haram is

[54:03]if you do know the impact of this urge and this desire

[54:06]then you're going to be much more careful third try to fulfill

[54:11]and meet that desire but in the way there's nothing wrong with

[54:16]that and in fact islam encourages that fourth seek chastity work towards

[54:23]seeking chastity take yourself out of the atmosphere and the environment that

[54:27]will put you in harm's way and fifth be content with what

[54:32]allah has given you if you're content with what you have you're

[54:35]not going to seek anything else my dear brothers we ask allah

[54:41]subhanahu ta'ala to bless you all and to help you overcome your

[54:45]temptations and your desires and to help us all overcome our desires

[54:51]and we ask allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that our desires and our

[54:58]needs and our wants be in a healthy way that will lead

[55:03]us closer to allah rather than an unhealthy way and toxic way

[55:07]that will bring us away from allah subhanahu wa ta'ala was foreign

[55:34]bye

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