My Path to Islam - Dr. Maryam Blackeagle

27 المشاهدات· 24/03/22

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Recorded August 7th at WISE Academy Gymnasium

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[0:00]I was living in Southern California I was in nursing school at

[0:04]the time and in California everybody's from somewhere else including me I'm

[0:09]from Indiana and I had collected people because I love diversity so

[0:13]I knew people from countries all over the world and several of

[0:16]them were the tag of Muslim and we all got along great

[0:21]we all did the same things but every now and then religion

[0:23]would come up and they would take on this Superior tone you

[0:28]know us Muslims and you Christians and I thought how dare they

[0:30]think that way that they think they're better than me when they

[0:34]do the exact same things that I did and some of them

[0:36]did a lot worse than what I was doing so I decided

[0:40]I was going to prove it false there was one in the

[0:43]group that was a little more quieter than the rest so I

[0:46]decided I would ask him if he had any books on Islam

[0:49]and he brought me a bag of books and I could tell

[0:52]when he gave them to me he really didn't think that I

[0:54]would be reading them and I sat down with the Bible and

[0:59]the Quran and a book called inquiries into Islam by Imam jaah

[1:03]Cheri and I read cheri's book and I would look to the

[1:08]Bible it's like the Bible doesn't say that and I'd look and

[1:10]sure enough it was there such as hijab and let the woman

[1:14]be covered in Corinthians and I'd look again I was like well

[1:17]the Bible doesn't say that and I would look and sure enough

[1:21]it would be there and then one point I thought I had

[1:23]it because I looked and it wasn't there but it turned out

[1:28]it was just a typo and it was verse 12 vers is

[1:32]verse 14 and it really was there so I was getting pretty

[1:34]frustrated um when I embraced Islam that day under the tree nobody

[1:41]else was there but Allah was witness enough for me and it

[1:45]took me about a month before I had the nerve to speak

[1:46]up and tell my friends the decision I made I was feeling

[1:53]very embarrassed what my intention was and I realized as I was

[1:56]learning that my friends even though they wore the tag of Muslim

[1:59]knew nothing about the religion it was simply a tag they grew

[2:04]up with a culture from whatever country they came from because the

[2:07]things that I was reading were nothing at all what they were

[2:10]telling me and the day that I said shahada publicly the very

[2:15]first thing that was said to me was no you don't want

[2:18]to do that you don't know what you're talking about no no

[2:21]no you don't want to be Muslim my first conversation as a

[2:24]public Muslim was defending Islam to Muslims and I started pulling books

[2:28]out from all around my house saying oh I do know what

[2:31]I'm talking about and the CR says this and this says this

[2:35]and this says this and they would throw argument after argument at

[2:38]me particularly as I started trying to change my life and when

[2:41]I started wearing hijab that was a real mess but everything that

[2:45]they threw at me such as a woman only being worth half

[2:49]a v of a man it made me being the rebel that

[2:53]I am do more research and realize that what they were saying

[2:56]wasn't true and I found that everything that didn't set right with

[3:00]me turned out that it was in Islam because Islam turned out

[3:04]to be absolutely beautiful about the Oneness of God and it related

[3:07]it very much to my ancestors and some of the teachings that

[3:10]i' had as a child growing up with Native American philosophy it

[3:15]was 3 and a half years until I met a practicing Muslim

[3:21]I was alone with my books it was just me and these

[3:23]books I remember one year um I saw on the news that

[3:28]Ramadan had come and I knew from the Quran and I didn't

[3:29]didn't have any how-to books I just had a few books on

[3:33]fi I had naob balaga I had the Quran and I heard

[3:38]on the news Ramadan King so I know that you that means

[3:43]you fast so I quit eating now this is Southern California in

[3:47]the summer it was like 115° my car was black leather interior

[3:52]with no air conditioning I was a poor nursing student at the

[3:56]time and I was driving and I started to pass out behind

[3:58]the wheel and I thought to myself I wonder if it would

[4:04]be cheating if I was to get up before Dawn and eat

[4:06]something so Allah taught me so who and the same thing about

[4:11]prayers I didn't have any I knew I needed to pray but

[4:15]I didn't know how to pray and I'd seen on TV you

[4:17]know some positions and I knew there was Prost stations involved there

[4:19]was a verse in the Quran that really hit home to me

[4:23]and I memorized it in English and for those 3 and A2

[4:27]years that was my prayer I would stand and I would recite

[4:29]that verse and I would prostrate and I would say shahada and

[4:32]I'd look to the left and I'd look to the right you

[4:36]know I wasn't so far off was I you know you can

[4:39]be the only person in the world but if your heart is

[4:41]in the right place Allah will lead you the verse by the

[4:47]way was ayi so after I left California and I moved to

[4:50]Oklahoma some of this is in the reborn video I don't know

[4:55]some of you have seen it but I I was in Walmart

[4:59]and I saw a woman a job so I started following her

[5:02]around the store I mean I found the M before that I

[5:07]looked in the phone book and I walked in and back then

[5:11]these were the days of the Farah haird and the jeans and

[5:14]the little t-shirts and I walked into into the men's side of

[5:18]a wahhabi m Salam alikum and they very quickly escorted me outside

[5:22]and on the sidewalk and they said what is your proofs and

[5:28]I said well Quran naaga so it didn't go too well but

[5:34]then I saw that lady in the Walmart and I followed her

[5:38]for about half an hour and I would hide behind the clothes

[5:40]racks and I look at her and I realized she was noticing

[5:45]this a crazy American woman following me so I knew I had

[5:49]to say something before she called the police so I went up

[5:53]to her and alayum she didn't speak any English she was was

[6:00]from Saud but her husband was in the store and he spoke

[6:03]English so her and I just sat there and smiled at each

[6:05]other till he showed up and then we talked a bit and

[6:09]we exchanged numbers and during that time I was able to get

[6:12]a really good look at her and the first time I visited

[6:15]her at her house I was in hijab you know alhamdulillah I

[6:20]had a hard time finding it I'd gone to a cloth store

[6:22]and I tried all these different claws one time I got a

[6:25]piece that was like for a coat and it was like this

[6:26]can't be right it's too heavy and then another one but it

[6:31]was see-through and I said this isn't right so finally I found

[6:33]one and it was the perfect size and it was lightweight and

[6:38]you couldn't see through it it was black with bright red tomatoes

[6:41]all over it so my first hijab was a tomato hijab but

[6:47]I was very proud of that scarf you know my first gelab

[6:50]was a Halloween ghoul costume you know you do what you have

[6:54]to do but alhamdulillah you know if your heart is in the

[6:57]right place Allah will lead you and now here we are 30

[7:02]some years later and I've never looked back even though I didn't

[7:04]want it Allah chose it for me and through the purification of

[7:10]my life over time that's when the happiness came and finally I

[7:13]reached the point that I was getting dressed one day and I

[7:16]was looking in the mirror and I said you know what you're

[7:18]not a bad person and I tell you that's huge to be

[7:23]able to feel that about yourself and know that that's what Allah

[7:26]brought me and I'm very grateful alhamdulillah

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My Path to Islam - Dr. Maryam Blackeagle

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My Path to Islam - Dr. Maryam Blackeagle

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