Let me love You | Ali Reza Panahian

Let me love You

Why do I like my prayer to finish quickly?

Sometimes when I pray I don’t know why I like the prayer to finish sooner. I look for an excuse so that I can finish the prayer sooner and go do my work. I know myself well. It rarely happens that I pray eagerly. Sometimes, I sit with my friends for hours talking and don’t notice the time passing. But, I don’t know why when I want to pray… God, why am I not in the mood to pray? Some problem doesn’t let me greatly enjoy praying the way people like Ayatollah Bahjat did.
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In his high position, Imam Sajjad (‘a) said, “God, whenever I decided, prepared for and started praying (at dawn) You made me feel sleepy and took away the mood for supplicating.” [Abu Hamza Thumali Supplication] The Imam was always in the mood for worshiping. So, what was he seeing at that high level?
“Perhaps You saw me to be one of the ignorant ones. So, You disappointed me of Your mercy. Maybe You didn’t want to hear my prayers, so You sent me away. What has happened to me?!” [Abu Hamza Thumali Supplication]
The supplication continues, “Maybe You saw me to be one of the ignorant ones.” What has happened that You don’t let me talk to You?! “No one can have faith without the permission of God.” (Qur’an 10:100) We shouldn’t think they have laid out a red carpet and are pleading us. No! God says, “I am the One Who should allow him.”
Have you seen how when you try to bring some people to the path you are on, no matter how much you try, they won’t come. You want to take them to good gatherings. Whatever you do, they can’t come. We tell some people, “Let’s go to a religious gathering.” They reply, “I don’t have time for it.” Yes, you don’t have time. God says, “If I don’t want a person to come to Me, I keep him so busy that he doesn’t have time to come.”
“No one can have faith without the permission of God.” (Qur’an 10:100) God must permit us to fall in love with goodness. God tells His Prophet in the beginning of the Qur’an, “Some don’t feel good, and I ruin their mood even more!” “(Muhammad), you cannot guide whomever you love, but God guides whomever He wants.” (Qur’an 28:56) I don’t want some people’s hearts to turn to Me. Say, “God, why don’t You make me love You? Up until now, I thought I don’t fall in love myself. Now, I have understood that it’s in Your hands! Did those who approach You come themselves?! God, I have come to ask for Your permission. Let me become a believer!” If a person comes half-heartedly, God says, “Angels, don’t give it to him. What is he thinking?!”
A person stopped Prophet Moses (‘a) and told him, “Go tell your God, ‘Till when shall I keep sinning and not see any reaction from You? Won’t You punish me?!’” He was mocking. After supplicating God, Prophet Moses asked Him, “What should I tell that sinful servant?” God replied, “Tell him, ‘I have given you the worst punishment possible. You don’t see any reaction from Me?! See how when they talk about Me in front of you, you don’t like it! This is the worst punishment I can give a servant so that he won’t turn to Me! I don’t want to see you.’”
Beg God with empty hands and say, “Why don’t You captivate me? You forgave me. Now, make me fall in love with what is good so that I long for it!”
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God, I know my enthusiasm for praying is little. God, revive my enthusiasm for praying in my heart. God, now that with Your grace, You allowed me to be among those who pray, do a favor to Your servant and cause me to love You.
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Say, “God, why don’t You make me love You? Up until now, I thought I don’t fall in love myself. Now, I have understood that it’s in Your hands!”

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