Interactive Discussion: Why Do We Struggle?

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Interactive Discussion: Why Do We Struggle?

An interactive discussion on why we struggle from a mental health and Islamic perspective

Transcript

[0:04][Music] [Music] thank you thank you can come back it's on it's

[0:36]awesome [Music] foreign say yes Moon [Music] light foreign to be once

[3:00][Music] again God mark yourself [Music] bonus problems [Music] enough foreign [Music]

[4:39][Applause] [Applause] a little small things [Music] um we all know that

[5:57]a struggle is an uncomfortable part of life but have you ever

[6:02]wondered why we struggled why are some amazing with challenges such as

[6:07]illness loss or poverty or natural disasters loss of land or Wars

[6:13]how do we see these struggles do we see them as obstacles

[6:20]do we see them as failures and weaknesses or do we see

[6:24]them as ways to see closeness to Allah and then when we

[6:30]are faced with these struggles and we remain positive and resilient similar

[6:36]to our prophets and our imams and similar to lady zaina when

[6:43]she was faced in the aftermath aftermath of karbala and she said

[6:51]her famous quote I see nothing but Beauty these are many questions

[6:55]we hope to address in today's discussion my name is Maya murtata

[6:59]and I'm going to be the moderator for tonight's discussion a little

[7:03]bit about myself I'm a pediatric nurse practitioner and the director of

[7:07]the faith I'm sorry the director of Health at the man International

[7:12]I'm a mother of four as well and a new residence in

[7:16]Canton so I've been making Mecca my my home base um thank

[7:21]you and I'm also the chair of the Faith Community Health Initiative

[7:26]at the Islamic Institute of America and our goal with the Faith

[7:29]Community Health Initiative is to improve the mental and physical well-being of

[7:32]the faith community because we all know when our physical and mental

[7:36]health is stable then we can advance our spiritual health and so

[7:42]with that said I'm going to introduce our panelists today and we'll

[7:46]then open up our discussion we do have some three by five

[7:52]cards and pens I believe somewhere in the back if you guys

[7:55]have any questions that you guys don't want to ask then you

[7:58]can write your questions down and please pass them to the problem

[8:01]we can address them all right so yesterday is a mental health

[8:07]therapist with five years of clinical experience working with children and adults

[8:11]she is a licensed Master social worker yes he earned her Ambassador

[8:16]in Psychology Southern University in Boston Mass she moved to Michigan in

[8:22]2017 to complete her Master's in social work at U of L

[8:24]Ann Arbor is a licensed mental health therapist who holds a master's

[8:31]degree in Clinical Psychology and has been practicing in the field since

[8:36]2017.

[8:38]he has worked with all ages he has worked with all ages

[8:47]and currently provides therapy to older teens and adults he moved from

[8:49]Pennsylvania to Michigan with his family in 2019 in order to be

[8:55]closer to the larger Muslim Community um he's here to help raise

[8:59]awareness about mental health we are grateful for both of you joining

[9:03]us and with that said Salah does not need an introduction here

[9:06]at Mecca so we will pass the mic down to say it's

[9:10]Allah to begin with a brief discussion and uh why do we

[9:13]struggle said everyone alhamdulillah first of all I would like to begin

[9:41]by thanking the the health initiative um is it called the Faith

[9:48]Community Health Initiative of the IIA and the experts that have come

[9:54]here to talk about Mental Health and this is a very important

[10:00]topic that I believe that we need to constantly discuss we need

[10:05]to constantly talk about and raise awareness and we need to listen

[10:10]to The Experts we need to bring the experts and listen to

[10:15]The Experts when they talk about their particular field and of course

[10:20]when it comes to mental health there's a thin line between where

[10:25]faith kicks in and where you need the expert help and sometimes

[10:31]we confuse we think it's only Faith so we only go and

[10:34]seek help from a faith expert from a scholar from a religious

[10:41]scholar and sometimes some people they ignore they totally ignore faith and

[10:46]religion and they only seek the medical aspect of it and I

[10:50]believe that that is wrong as well there should be a balance

[10:55]there should be a balance in our lives where we turn to

[10:58]Allah we rely on our faith we rely on our beliefs but

[11:02]we also take the medicine we also take the expert opinion we

[11:08]also listen to the doctors and what they have said because at

[11:11]the end of the day the cure comes from Allah however Allah

[11:18]says you need to seek the course and you need to seek

[11:25]the correct Pathways to seek solutions to your problem so the question

[11:30]of why does Allah why are we facing struggles in life this

[11:35]is a very important question and I have seen people they leave

[11:40]religion altogether because of this particular question this question in particular makes

[11:45]people leave religion they say why is God testing me why am

[11:48]I suffering in such a way why do I have to go

[11:52]through difficulties and Trauma and trials in life so from a theological

[11:57]perspective from a religious perspective we believe that people are tested for

[12:03]different reasons and in fact the reason of our creation is for

[12:11]us to be tested Allah says one of the reasons of creation

[12:32]why did God create us what's my purpose here Allah mentions three

[12:36]reasons in the Quran one Allah says in the Quran the reason

[12:40]is for you to taste the mercy of God to receive the

[12:46]mercy of Allah um Allah says God created you so that he

[13:00]could be merciful with you however how do I attain God's mercy

[13:06]some of us we want to go to heaven for free do

[13:08]we ever do you see anyone in life getting anything for free

[13:13]is there anything for free in life you want to go to

[13:15]school you have to struggle you want to make get a salary

[13:19]you have to struggle you want to build a family you have

[13:21]to struggle so the mercy of Allah there's two types of Mercy

[13:27]there is a mercy that is for everyone this is and then

[13:33]what do we say there's two types of there's the rahma that

[13:37]is for everyone The Atheist the believer the animal the human whoever

[13:43]it is they receive that however there is is the specific Mercy

[13:55]for those who deserve it so how do I deserve the mercy

[13:57]of Allah two ways also the reasons of creation one Allah says

[14:08]and the human were created for what to worship Allah when you

[14:15]worship God you will be a recipient a worthy recipient of the

[14:20]and the second reason is to be tested and this life we're

[14:36]not here to live forever this life we've seen we've seen the

[14:40]most powerful we've seen the richest we've seen the wealthiest people people

[14:45]that have everything at the end there's separation of this life what

[14:49]does this mean this means that this life is a test this

[14:51]means that at the end of the day I have to turn

[14:55]in my exam and I have to go to another Realm I

[15:00]have to go to another type of life we believe that this

[15:05]life when we die it's not that an atheist doesn't believe in

[15:08]an atheist believes that if I die that died that's it I'm

[15:10]not I'm nothing's going to remain but we believe that no this

[15:15]life is a test and when we die we're not going to

[15:20]be nothing we're going to go into another Realm some of us

[15:24]some people they see death life and death as a light switch

[15:27]if it's on that means it's on if the light switches off

[15:30]that means you're nothing you're totally gone but we have faith we

[15:33]believe in God we believe that the Lord who created this complex

[15:41]universe this perfection in the universe where the stars are created perfectly

[15:46]the sun is created perfectly the moon the every living organism is

[15:50]created with Precision that Lord that created this whole universe with Precision

[15:55]is also calculating everything in my life with precision and therefore this

[16:00]life is a test therefore the struggles are a way for me

[16:05]to excel the struggles are a way for me to advance and

[16:10]to reach higher ranks in life I don't wanna I don't know

[16:12]how long I'm supposed to be talking but I'm going to send

[16:16]it back to you and then inshallah if there's any other questions

[16:18]thank you Syed yes so I appreciate the Islamic perspective now we're

[16:23]going to look at the mental health perspective uh and I'm gonna

[16:28]pass to my ts me assalamualaikum everyone thank you so much for

[16:33]coming to our first collaboration event uh with Mecca as Maya stated

[16:37]where the Faith Community Health Initiative um so I'd like to start

[16:42]with a poem that I found it's by Jova Ferreira I found

[16:44]this to be very impactful maybe you're not broken maybe you are

[16:55]a warrior who has been put to the process of rebuilding yourself

[16:59]so that you woke up to your true nature maybe your nature

[17:06]is to regenerate rebuild and find new ways of strengthening yourself maybe

[17:14]your tribe your community and the groups you're a part of need

[17:20]a warrior maybe people that you haven't even met yet will need

[17:23]someone that teaches them how to be a warrior too no you

[17:26]won't always have to be a warrior but it's better to have

[17:31]a warrior in a garden than to have a gardener in the

[17:33]war thank goodness for words it's very heavy uh sure maybe you're

[17:52]not lost maybe you're really a guy who has been put to

[17:59]the process of learning how to find your way home oh yeah

[18:01]that's convenient maybe your nature is to always know where home is

[18:18]no matter how far you wander maybe you carry home with you

[18:23]and your tribe needs someone who knows how to help them find

[18:26]their way maybe people you haven't even met yet when you do

[18:30]to guide them home as well thank goodness for guides maybe you're

[18:36]not ugly and unlovable maybe you're a seer who has been put

[18:41]to the process of learning how to truly see the world beyond

[18:44]what meets the eye maybe your nature is to activate your intuition

[18:48]and see beauty possibility and abundance where others only see ugliness ugliness

[18:56]problems and scarcity maybe your tribe needs someone to help them see

[19:02]beyond the surface maybe people you haven't even met yet will need

[19:06]you to know how to see them thank goodness for Sears without

[19:10]invalidating your struggle consider that maybe you need to be exactly where

[19:15]you are this moment if you so choose to can be the

[19:18]opportunity of a lifetime to embody who you've always been not one

[19:24]day but day one so today we'd hope to shed some light

[19:33]on some very simple and effective tools that you can use to

[19:35]benefit your mental health coping with stress in a positive way is

[19:42]known as resilience and resilience is something that's been associated with longevity

[19:46]lower rates of depression and anxiety and generally better life satisfaction mental

[19:53]health issues are currently on the rise and one out of six

[19:58]adults and one out of fifth adolescents will suffer from a mental

[20:01]health disorder every single year struggling is something that affects us all

[20:05]but many of us are in the dark and we don't know

[20:09]how to cope with it and many times due to the stigma

[20:13]of mental health especially as we all know in our Arab culture

[20:15]we tend to struggle alone we tend to not seek the treatment

[20:17]that we need so in other words we're robbing ourselves of the

[20:22]two things that can help us to get through difficult times treatment

[20:25]and a support system in our discussion today we hope to shed

[20:30]light on different ways that we can cope with struggle to help

[20:35]mitigate the effects that it has on Mental Health why is that

[20:38]two people can go through the same stressful event but one comes

[20:41]out on Scouts possibly even grows from it while the other person

[20:46]might kind of fall apart develop a mental health condition what factors

[20:51]come into play in these two different outcomes when we think of

[20:56]the word struggle we often think of it as a solely or

[20:57]negative thing but is this true can we use struggle as an

[21:03]opportunity to benefit our personal growth in our own lives these are

[21:06]just a few questions that we will be discussing in our discussion

[21:09]today thank you sister Yasmine for that introduction from the mental health

[21:20]perspective if anybody has any questions please write them down and send

[21:27]them up but we will begin a brief discussion so say it

[21:31]I'm going to start with you you mentioned to be tested right

[21:38]that is one of the purposes we have on this Earth so

[21:41]can we ask the question of why some are tested more than

[21:48]others is there is there a reason behind it is that person

[21:53]who is tested more um gonna is Love More by Allah what

[22:00]is the purpose between between the hardships and why others suffer more

[22:03]than what then come this is a very good question and sometimes

[22:10]people they ask why me why do I have to face this

[22:16]kind of test this is not fair but we have to kind

[22:22]of stand back and change our perception and our perspective some of

[22:29]us we think that if I have money if I have children

[22:33]if I have health if I have wealth that means God is

[22:37]Not testing me God is only testing those people who don't have

[22:41]God is only testing the poor people God is only testing the

[22:46]ones who are living a miserable life in our perspective a miserable

[22:51]life but when we when we look at it from when we

[22:54]look at the bigger picture we see that everyone's tested every single

[22:59]person is tested and Allah says in the Quran absence means test

[23:11]evil is a test for you and prayer is a test for

[23:16]you the good things if God is giving you wealth if God

[23:19]is giving you health if God is giving you a life that

[23:21]that's also a test for you we only look at the negative

[23:26]aspect we only look at things if if I'm not doing well

[23:27]then I think that God is testing me but God is Not

[23:31]testing my neighbor God is Not testing the person who is doing

[23:38]well off well no at the end of the day there will

[23:39]come a time this life if we if we look at it

[23:50]and in comparison with the akhara in comparison with eternity which is

[23:54]forever this life is not going to be it's going to be

[23:56]nothing but a small Speck maybe have you seen a movie the

[24:02]movie is going and then there's one Split Second where if you're

[24:05]blinking you you miss that in a long movie our life is

[24:12]that Split Second it's nothing it's insignificant it doesn't matter whether I

[24:18]was rich or I was poor or I whatever I had it's

[24:24]all a test the real life is and that test could be

[24:28]maybe God could give me the wealth maybe God could give me

[24:31]power maybe God could give me Authority and I might not realize

[24:37]that I'm being tested but I am being tested a few days

[24:41]ago we finished this is a perfect example Imam saying people they

[24:49]thought I'm saying you lost Hussein what God is testing him in

[24:57]such a way and yazid the cruel enemy evil Wicked man he

[25:00]becomes the the Khalifa he becomes the one who is in power

[25:05]say the zainab sure she says don't think that just because you

[25:19]have power and authority that means god is favoring you no sometimes

[25:26]if Allah sees someone who's deviating from the haq God is home

[25:28]to give this person more wealth God is going to give this

[25:30]person more Dunya more Authority and that is um and so that

[25:37]they fall back so that they turn further and further away from

[25:39]Allah so this is one thing that we need to um put

[25:45]you know understand another thing is that the tests is the purpose

[25:49]of creation everyone is tested I don't know what you're going through

[25:52]you don't know what I'm going through maybe I'm going through a

[25:57]test that is different for the test that someone else is going

[26:01]and going through and we have several Hadith where um verses in

[26:07]the Quran and Hadith where Allah says in the Quran Allah says

[26:19]some people are tested through fear some people are tested through loss

[26:24]of life some people are tested through loss of income however give

[26:28]Glad Tidings to those who are patients now different people have different

[26:32]tasks yes this is true some people they have it much more

[26:38]difficult but we have multiple narrations that the more Iman you have

[26:42]the more faith you have the more difficult your test is going

[26:48]to be and this is logical right now if someone who has

[26:51]and Associates Degree associate's degree does this person at the same level

[26:57]as someone who has a PhD what distinguishes these two tests trials

[27:02]difficulties hours of reading and hours of struggle and all of that

[27:07]that's what makes the difference between these two right so this is

[27:12]the same if I want heaven then I have to be tested

[27:16]and we have multiple narrations where a man someone comes to the

[27:19]Imam and he tells him I am one of the Believers I

[27:23]am one of the Shia I am one of your followers the

[27:26]Imam doesn't tell him congratulations you're with us the Imam tells him

[27:29]then be ready to be tested even more then be ready to

[27:36]face more difficult challenges in life and this is what life is

[27:39]about I know it makes sense that if I want to advance

[27:43]financially I have to go through a test if I want to

[27:47]advance academically I have to go through trials if I want to

[27:49]advance any step in life I have to go through difficulties and

[27:53]you see the difference you see the one who has really gone

[27:56]through tests and trials you see that they come out as an

[28:00]expert in the field they come out as a whether doctor engineer

[28:02]whatever it is they they come out as the top because they

[28:08]went through trials they went through tests and this is the same

[28:12]when it comes to the tests that we face in our life

[28:17]now we have narrations that say that Allah some people from he

[28:26]says that the Bala he says now sometimes even the oppressor will

[28:35]also face some type of difficulties and challenges in life it doesn't

[28:39]mean that just only the Believers have tested no sometimes that same

[28:44]trial that same difficulty for different people it means something different for

[28:50]the volume for the oppressor it's a way of God disciplining this

[28:54]person it's a way of God we say in Arabic meaning it's

[28:59]a way of Allah telling this person be careful you know wake

[29:03]up wake up from your Slumber this is if you're if you

[29:08]can't deal with this small test how are you going to deal

[29:09]with the test of the akhala it's a wake-up call and for

[29:16]the moment it's a test and then he says for the prophets

[29:26]and those who are so close to God they look forward to

[29:31]the tests they see it as a form of Karana they see

[29:35]it as a form of dignity God is dignity God is God

[29:37]sees that I'm worthy of being in a higher level in Paradise

[29:41]so God is giving me the example right now I told the

[29:47]professor please test me I'm ready to be tested he tells me

[29:49]no you're not ready to be tested you need to you need

[29:51]to go through you need to go through a higher level of

[29:54]Faith then I'll give you the exam that's when you're going to

[29:56]be ready I tell him please give me the privilege of allowing

[29:59]me to take the test right now he says no you're not

[30:04]ready the closer you are to God the more exams you will

[30:06]be facing in life and finally there's also another Hadith I wanted

[30:10]to mention where the Imam alaihissalam he says [Music] he says Prophet

[30:24]Musa he tells him I have not created anyone more beloved to

[30:35]me than the movement the movement is beloved to me but Allah

[30:40]test the movement Allah Allah throws difficulties you think you think during

[30:44]the time of Imam and Hussein was there someone that was closer

[30:49]to God than Imam Hussain at that time so why didn't say

[30:53]why did the horses crush the trust of Imam Hussain why did

[30:56]so much why did Imam Hussain go through so much suffering so

[31:03]much difficulty so here is the answer he says I'm testing you

[31:10]for that which is better for you because I know what's better

[31:15]for you I know you could pass this test therefore I'm throwing

[31:17]this test at you and then he says so basically Allah is

[31:36]saying if I made someone poor and this person's a woman because

[31:39]I know that this is the only thing that will keep this

[31:44]person on the right path if I made this person Rich because

[31:46]I know that this person if he's poor he's going to fell

[31:51]and I know what's in this person's heart therefore I'm giving everyone

[31:55]based on their capacity just like a teacher a teacher sees two

[32:00]different students sorry a teacher she's two students they both have they're

[32:10]both gifted everyone is gifted they both have different talents but maybe

[32:14]they're not at the same level and you're a teacher a wise

[32:18]teacher is not supposed to that's why standardized does they're not really

[32:22]you know you're you're putting everyone at one level and that's not

[32:26]fair sometimes sometimes everyone needs to have a different form of test

[32:30]so a teacher or a parent sometimes they want to test their

[32:34]children they give this child one test and they give this child

[32:39]one test they know they know that each one has different capacity

[32:42]but they could all they could both Excel they could both be

[32:45]better and Allah knows what's in our hearts he's closer to us

[32:50]than our jugular vein therefore Allah he gives us tests based on

[32:55]our own capacity well that was pretty profound um today's generation of

[33:06]young people are experiencing more mental health issues than ever what do

[33:10]you think is contributing to this foreign and the reason we wanted

[33:30]to have this kind of event is because of the uh because

[33:33]of the uh having the religious side because we have the faith

[33:38]on our we have faith uh and we have Islam uh as

[33:41]tools we can use then um I think it's appropriate to see

[33:44]things from that perspective so that's why I think it's very beneficial

[33:50]to to have a kind of multi-layer or multi multi you know

[33:53]multi-dimensional kind of view about about things so uh in terms of

[33:58]in terms of your question Jeremiah I think it can be all

[34:02]kinds of things it can be um for now I mean for

[34:06]example we may be seeing more people who are maybe materialistic these

[34:09]days you know in terms of you know um what we have

[34:14]in terms of you know the consumers and and the culture that

[34:18]we live in in terms of uh in terms of the social

[34:22]media as well and uh things like that which are propelling us

[34:25]kind of to look at things from a certain perspective to look

[34:29]at things from the perspective of uh you know in terms of

[34:32]social media for example of how many likes we get or how

[34:33]many views we get or uh or just kind of having that

[34:40]attention having attention from other people basically so doing that there's a

[34:43]lot of research that shows I was reading something the other day

[34:47]actually that specifically sharing your life every day for example those you

[34:51]know there's certain people who share from time to time there's others

[34:53]who share daily uh who share um specific especially like every moment

[34:57]of their lives for example so they saw that there was a

[35:01]negative effect on them and they're more likely to they're more likely

[35:05]to experience depression and and anxiety because they're they're losing their sense

[35:11]of identity in that way because their their sense of identity is

[35:13]now tied with how other people see that how other people view

[35:19]them so that's now we're seeing that at an unprecedented rate obviously

[35:23]and year by year it's increasing uh so I think that that's

[35:27]one of the biggest things even you know like if you look

[35:28]at 10 years ago uh 15 years ago wasn't the same even

[35:31]five years ago things are moving more quickly and there's more um

[35:35]there's more platforms now out there that we're seeing as well um

[35:39]that are encouraging us to share more so uh I think that's

[35:43]that's a that's a big thing I think I do think there's

[35:48]um something to note as well and that's the availability of these

[35:51]statistics as well you know I think that throughout time we do

[35:54]have issues we do we have had issues and everyone um you

[35:58]know it could be increased now but at the same time we're

[36:03]studying it more now as well so we're seeing more um but

[36:05]I think it I think at any uh at any stage it's

[36:08]appropriate to um to focus on these things and see what uh

[36:13]you know to see how we can we can improve and make

[36:19]changes so um so what I'm trying to say with that is

[36:22]for example uh we always say that this is this generation for

[36:26]example has it harder than the last generation but uh but in

[36:29]reality um that could be the case but every generation has their

[36:32]own difficulties I think and every generation has their own struggles uh

[36:35]what we're seeing now I think is that um is that where

[36:40]it's more out there now everyone can see it everyone can can

[36:42]notice that these these things are happening these things exist so I

[36:48]think that's part of the I think that's part of the problem

[36:50]um so I think that's good thank you so we've kind of

[36:55]heard the wisdom behind Allah's challenging Us in different aspects of our

[37:00]life right we've also heard kind of the some of the things

[37:02]that are contributing to mental health issues in today's life right the

[37:06]struggles that we're facing social media consumerism materialism things like that the

[37:12]isms right so does anybody have any comments or any thoughts on

[37:19]yes um please explain with examples what he means can you repeat

[37:38]that so this is um the the brother is asking about a

[37:48]statement from immans and do not discipline me through through tests through

[38:03]trials so there's this concept called what does this mean if I'm

[38:11]for example if Allah sees that he's given me wealth and I

[38:19]am not thanking Allah I'm not showing appreciation to God he's given

[38:25]me children he's given me wealth he's given me all of that

[38:29]and I'm not thanking Allah so typically if I for example gave

[38:35]someone a gift and then I saw that this person is being

[38:40]unappreciative what am I going to do next time I'm not going

[38:44]to give this person anymore right I'm going to say this person

[38:47]is not worthy I'm not giving this person because this person is

[38:51]not showing thanks to me but Allah Works in a different way

[38:54]sometimes Allah could take away the number and sometimes and this is

[39:01]where is comes in God will give you more may Allah your

[39:04]failing you're not think you're not thanking me I'm going to give

[39:06]you more you're not thanking me more I'm going to keep giving

[39:10]you more I'm keep giving you more this is called it's like

[39:15]uh what do they call a a ladder because it's it's steps

[39:22]so basically it's slowly God keeps giving you more with that sun

[39:27]but then this is this is in a way where I'm falling

[39:32]I'm I'm I'm getting further and further away from God while I

[39:36]think that my material life while I think that I'm not being

[39:41]tested which this is dangerous we have many a Hadith that say

[39:43]if your life is comfortable if your life is smooth and you

[39:48]don't have a relationship with God is very close because and the

[39:56]and the test that you will you're going to be dealing with

[39:58]is going to be much more difficult than what you're than what

[40:02]your neighbors and other people are facing right now if I'm if

[40:07]everything in my life is smooth and I'm disobeying Allah on a

[40:10]daily basis then that means perhaps yes perhaps God is not going

[40:16]to test me in this Dunya with these small tests but I'm

[40:19]going to fall that big fall which is going to lead to

[40:24]a greater destruction a greater disaster in the auto so this is

[40:27]why we should we should be worried if we're living very comfortable

[40:33]and we're sinning be worried unless you turn back to Allah it

[40:39]would all be it would all change your your intention would be

[40:44]pure you would be receiving the the satisfaction of Allah as well

[40:51]we all ask not to face the law every single person asks

[40:56]not to Facebook but everyone is going to face a banana but

[40:59]we're supposed to ask Allah do not test me with something that

[41:06]I will fail but because at the end of the day I

[41:10]can't say Elijah don't trust me because this is the whole reason

[41:12]of my creation you want to test me test me with something

[41:22]that you know I will pass test me with something that will

[41:26]be good for me good for my akhara good for my life

[41:27]this is why sometimes it's good if I'm asking Allah don't be

[41:34]specific and I I want a million dollars this year who how

[41:39]do I guarantee that that million dollars is not going to yeah

[41:45]it's not going to ruin everything in my life it's going to

[41:48]damage me it's going to bring me away from Allah ask Allah

[41:52]for risk keep me keep me give me the sustenance that whatever

[42:02]you decide is good for me don't give me what I want

[42:08]because sometimes things that we want end up being worse than that

[42:11]which Allah has given us there was a man one of the

[42:15]companions of the prophets by the name of talaba he was poor

[42:20]but he used to come every prayer he used to pray behind

[42:26]rasulullah every prayer he was with the prophets he would come to

[42:30]the prophets and he would tell him ask Allah to make me

[42:35]wealthy ask Allah to make me Rich rasulullah tells him you have

[42:43]a little that you thank Allah and you show appreciation for is

[42:50]much better for you than kathir a lot that you are unable

[42:52]to show things thanks to Allah for he kept insisting and insisting

[43:00]and insisting until one day after multiple times he keeps asking the

[43:06]prophet says this guy had sheep the Sheep they started masha'allah reproducing

[43:17]he had one two ten twenty Thirty a hundred suddenly now he's

[43:25]not coming to the Masjid anymore they tell him why he says

[43:31]I'm busy I have work and this is what we'd say when

[43:32]we get when we don't go to the Masjid what's the excuse

[43:35]we're busy with work we're busy making money we're busy hustling right

[43:43]so this guy he became busy now he started coming last once

[43:50]a day and then once a week only Salah and then the

[43:52]verse of zakat came down the verse of zakat which was ordering

[43:57]all the Muslims to give zakats rasulullah this guy's out of the

[44:01]town now because he has all these sheep and all these cattle

[44:04]he can't be in the city he has to go outside Muslims

[44:08]he says go and collect as a cut they come to him

[44:11]he says what is this just me go and collect from everyone

[44:15]else and then come to me they go they collect from everyone

[44:19]they come to him he tells them I'll talk I'll come talk

[44:20]to us he's trying to strike a deal he became this Rose

[44:26]who came from Allah now he became too attached to it then

[44:30]a verse in the Quran came down describing him as a rasulullah

[44:36]said we don't want the zakata that never thinks we need his

[44:39]money we don't need your money Allah gave you because Allah was

[44:44]blessing you you did you wanted more this is the estadraj meaning

[44:50]God kept giving you more and more that ended up bringing you

[44:52]away from Allah so we kind of understand now that it is

[44:59]our purpose here to be tested right we have a question in

[45:05]the back yes so uh thank you for for hosting this um

[45:08]my question is uh in relation to what you just said so

[45:13]I've often heard that Allah gives us what's best for us and

[45:15]Allah puts these people in these specific circumstances given his knowledge of

[45:21]their abilities while they can handle yes and all of that so

[45:25]with Allah in the first place even except these Dawes that we

[45:28]make for a million dollars given that Allah knows what is best

[45:30]for us and what is not best for us so what do

[45:33]you even make a difference whether we make that particular Dua or

[45:35]not given that he ultimately gives us what's best for us so

[45:40]Allah gives us what's best for us but there is room for

[45:46]changing certain things in our lives a lot knows what's best for

[45:49]me but the end of the day Allah has made given me

[45:54]at the end of the day I make decisions in life if

[45:58]God is going to hold me accountable for what he chose what's

[46:01]best for me and he chose that what's best for me then

[46:05]this is then where is God's justice meaning God he does in

[46:08]my life and then he says this is what's best for you

[46:10]and this is what ended up happening to you and then you

[46:14]go to either heaven or hell no there are God knows what's

[46:16]best for me and God has sent me prophets and Messengers and

[46:19]sometimes Allah has written certain things in my life however ultimately the

[46:26]choice comes back to me you could either think or you could

[46:33]either not think you could either go to the Masjid or you

[46:37]could either not go to the Masjid you could either pray or

[46:42]not pray so but yes the test is going to fall upon

[46:45]a person for example someone is going to get sick you know

[46:50]someone's going to get something something's going to happen to them they're

[46:54]going to get ill if you're a Believer and you're ill your

[46:59]reward is going to be very different from someone who's not a

[47:02]Believer and they're ill and even medically speaking scientifically speaking there are

[47:08]studies that show that someone who believes they're more likely to get

[47:15]cured if they believe their their faith will help them help them

[47:19]heal much quicker so there is room for for us to choose

[47:24]our own destiny otherwise what's the point of the reciting what's the

[47:29]point of giving sadaqah what's the point of doing all of these

[47:32]things we can change our destiny in some ways yes yes so

[47:38]we we as I mentioned we we now know that it's part

[47:43]of our purpose to be tested yes I want to point a

[47:47]question to Ahmed in uh yes mean now so with these struggles

[47:50]how do we how what what can we do to handle these

[47:55]struggles in a positive way like what can you what tips can

[47:58]you give the audience today to help them kind of take the

[48:03]struggle understand that this is from God this is going to be

[48:05]good for me because it's hopefully going to see allow me to

[48:09]see closeness to him but what tools can we use practically to

[48:12]get there um so so looking at kind of what you were

[48:19]just talking about from a mental health perspective there's a term we

[48:23]use a lot it's called radical acceptance It's a part of DBT

[48:27]which is a type of therapy and that's just kind of accepting

[48:31]what's happened right so if you're going through a stressful event there's

[48:34]the event that happened there's the pain from that and there's everything

[48:37]that we add to it right the worrying dwelling on it thinking

[48:42]of the worst thinking it's bad for us but maybe it's not

[48:46]right so a lot of these thoughts kind of run through our

[48:48]head and if they go unchecked if we're not stopping and thinking

[48:51]okay am I thinking about this rationally or am I worrying right

[48:57]that leads to anxiety or am I dwelling on the past am

[49:00]I wishing things were different right that usually leads to depression so

[49:03]a lot of times we're never present we're never in the moment

[49:07]where either in the past or we're in the future so there's

[49:11]something called cognitive behavioral therapy that's more focused on targeting these thoughts

[49:16]that are kind of running through our head and really escalating the

[49:20]the stressful event from just the event and now it's something bigger

[49:24]right that we've created in our mind um so that's one thing

[49:28]the other thing I really wanted to mention um there's two types

[49:32]of coping there's active coping and there's avoidant coping a lot of

[49:36]times we avoid right these situations happen we don't want to face

[49:39]the feelings maybe we use drugs God forbid but there's a lot

[49:44]of ways where you can escape you can keep busy all the

[49:45]time you can you know be on social media scrolling all day

[49:51]long right these things just help short term if we keep avoiding

[49:55]our feelings and we don't give ourselves the space to feel things

[49:58]then they're going to just stay in us and we're just going

[50:02]to explode one day we're gonna get angry at someone for no

[50:04]reason it will come out that's the thing so that's why going

[50:10]to therapy having an outlet having a support system um that's the

[50:13]best way to kind of move through it right because there's no

[50:19]way around our issues we have to face them um so those

[50:21]are just a couple things I wanted to mention but yeah uh

[50:25]a lot of it is also based on perspective as well so

[50:30]having um depending on what perspective you have like you know as

[50:33]you mentioned at the beginning I think in the intro uh you

[50:35]know two people can go through the same thing and why is

[50:37]it that one of them can can you know experience something uh

[50:40]or you know it can show differently in that person so taking

[50:43]perspective can really uh can really make a difference taking a different

[50:47]perspective reframing and um one of the tools for example for that

[50:51]is is having faith and having a purpose in life that can

[50:58]really shift how we think about things so that's one of the

[51:03]very important things is having that having that purpose in life having

[51:08]meaning in life uh having the ability to see that whether we

[51:10]can uh you know that we can make a difference in um

[51:14]you know we we can't influence what's happening around us whether we

[51:21]can actively influence it or not is is you know for example

[51:23]if you're in a war zone you may not be able to

[51:26]end the war but you're able to uh you're able to believe

[51:29]that you have an influence over how you feel about it how

[51:33]you think about it uh how it's how it's going to affect

[51:39]you having uh having the mindset as well that uh that whatever

[51:44]you're going through can whether it's positive or negative it can be

[51:48]a chance for you to grow as opposed to as opposed to

[51:52]you know it's the end of the world and you know that

[51:54]I'm never going to get out of this for example so again

[51:58]it's about perspective it's really about a lot of it can be

[52:01]about thoughts now you know someone can say uh you know like

[52:06]the war example I mentioned or like uh you know if someone's

[52:08]in poverty or someone is in um uh you know it doesn't

[52:13]have the means to do anything you know to it feels like

[52:15]they don't have the means to do anything to change their situation

[52:18]for example and struggle after struggle you know they can ask you

[52:21]know what are thoughts going going to do but it's the combination

[52:23]of all these things it's it's having the uh it's changing how

[52:29]we view something it's changing how we what meaning we put into

[52:32]that thing you know that can these things can really help us

[52:35]to uh to cope better uh with this and and I keep

[52:39]mentioning your faith because there's a lot of research that's been shown

[52:42]about how important faith is uh and we're lucky as Muslims to

[52:45]be able to uh and we're bless to be able to use

[52:49]this powerful tool to um to cope to cope during these times

[52:53]to give ourselves our lives meaning and our struggles meaning and purpose

[52:57]is to say it was just uh alluding to thank you say

[53:02]this question's for you how does emotion play into the way we

[53:07]struggle is it okay that we grieve is it okay if we

[53:12]are sad does that mean we're not being patient or accepting of

[53:16]our situations emotions are something that Allah has given us they're a

[53:28]natural way of expressing our what's going on and you know in

[53:32]our minds and our life and suppressing emotions is not always a

[53:36]good thing we you have to kind of show your emotions and

[53:41]there's nothing wrong with that and the prophet used to cry the

[53:47]Imam used to cry there's nothing wrong with crying but I believe

[53:53]that the only difference is we need to channel these emotions and

[53:58]channel these tears to become a greater person to do something that

[54:03]is better so that it this is positive grief this is not

[54:08]a a grief that's just going to be leading you to depression

[54:12]and leading you to more suffering so his son died Ibrahim Ibrahim

[54:21]the son of the prophet he died when he was 18 months

[54:24]old and Allah he doesn't have a son he had costume he

[54:29]died and then he had Ibrahim he died and the Muslims they

[54:32]saw rasulullah crying he was crying because he his son died so

[54:38]they tell him how can you be crying when you're a prophet

[54:43]and you tell us to be patient and and you yourself you're

[54:46]crying he says he says the eyes they used to cry I

[54:57]can't control my eyes I'm not a robot you you begin to

[55:02]cry in the line and the Heart becomes saddened however the difference

[55:10]is that we do not say that which angers Allah we don't

[55:15]say why me why did God do this to me we say

[55:18]to Allah we belong and to Allah we return just as every

[55:24]every person has a test this is my test in life this

[55:29]is the test of Allah is testing me with and the outcome

[55:32]of of the outcome and the result is based on how I

[55:40]dealt with that emotion how I dealt with that grief now crying

[55:43]is not a bad thing however we have to move on crying

[55:50]he says [Applause] he says I cry crying is not wrong but

[56:14]I cry for these things I cried to become a better person

[56:19]I cry when I remember my grave so that I work harder

[56:22]in this life I cry when I remember that I will be

[56:26]questioned so that I become a better person I cry when I

[56:31]remember that I'm going to face the consequences of my of my

[56:35]actions yes some people we waste our life crying now of course

[56:39]crying Me Maybe you know some people they're going through issues you

[56:43]can't tell a person don't cry but we have to just Channel

[56:48]it to be something productive it shouldn't be crying in a depressive

[56:52]state it should be crying to become a a better person crying

[56:55]to or to send a message sometimes why did Fatima tazara cry

[57:02]for rasulullah they kept telling her don't cry they tried to suppress

[57:06]her crying but she kept crying and they tell Imam Ali tell

[57:11]your tell Fatima that she should cry either during the day or

[57:15]at night because her crying is bothering us why because she was

[57:18]sending a message that you guys are oppressors you are oppressors and

[57:23]I will continue to cry for my grandfather because this is a

[57:27]cry of Oppression this is a cry against oppression why do we

[57:30]cry foreign because we're crying against the oppression we're sending a message

[57:39]to the world that yes I'm going to cry even a thousand

[57:40]years later I'm going to cry for that act of Oppression that

[57:44]took place and as long as the oppression continues we will continue

[57:49]to cry so crying and emotions they this is a positive crime

[57:52]this is you're sending a message you're you're fighting evil you're fighting

[57:58]a tyrant by these tears and this is this is why the

[58:00]tyrants and the oppressors they don't want people to cry for him

[58:02]I'm saying they get they get uncomfortable when they see people crying

[58:08]for a mom percent they got uncomfortable when Fatima says the heart

[58:11]was crying why because that was that was they were reminded that

[58:14]they were guilty they were reminded of what they had committed go

[58:21]ahead go ahead yes uh I just wanted to ask you about

[58:26]that point quickly because uh you know obviously sometimes if you're I

[58:28]think you mentioned this if you're going through issues if you're going

[58:30]through mental health struggles then sometimes people uh you know I have

[58:34]clients for example that I see who cry you know cry a

[58:39]lot during sessions for example if they go through some some difficulty

[58:41]so sometimes it can be just also a natural reaction right so

[58:47]what's your view on that because I think you I think you're

[58:49]alluded to it that you said to us if they're going through

[58:53]issues then that that could be fine as well but um I'm

[58:54]just curious about your review on that so what's the view on

[58:59]what someone who cries quickly or yeah cries or they cry about

[59:01]different types of Things Different struggles they go they they happen in

[59:04]their lives if they you know not just if they're grieving but

[59:08]if they're you know having difficulty at work if they're having uh

[59:11]you know financial difficulties if they're having uh any of these kinds

[59:15]of things I mean I don't know how how you can stop

[59:19]your crying I mean if I'm saying something and I'm about to

[59:24]cry you know some people you're just the person who cries fast

[59:28]some people you laugh some people you it's how are you going

[59:30]to stop that this is something that I think it requires requires

[59:35]probably training I don't know what it requires to stop that maybe

[59:41]you guys have the better answer for that however just make sure

[59:46]if you're crying ask yourself is this a positive is this some

[59:50]am I going to you know am I going to get something

[59:53]out and not necessarily sometimes you don't need to get anything out

[59:56]of it if some you know someone they were they they lost

[60:00]their parents they lost their son they lost their daughter something like

[60:04]that you're gonna have to cry but then you're going to there's

[60:08]going to come a time where you will probably have to move

[60:11]on with life and say this is a task we're all tested

[60:19]every single person is tested the the Quran tells the Muslims after

[60:23]the battle after the after uh the battle of the Muslims they

[60:29]they lost so many people the prophet was injured so many people

[60:33]were killed from amongst the Muslims so Allah tells the Muslims the

[60:44]difference between you and them you're in pain they're also in pain

[60:49]the enemies they're also suffering as well however the difference between you

[60:54]and them in Allah you have faith in God you're connected with

[60:59]the highest power in this universe the lord of the universe while

[61:05]they are not connected so when you when you remind yourself that

[61:09]you're connected with God when you say innala this is why whenever

[61:15]we're facing trials we have to say this we will feel stronger

[61:20]there is a psychological there's I don't know what kind of impact

[61:24]it has on you there's an impact that it has on you

[61:27]and then Allah says Tidings to those who are patients those who

[61:34]when they are afflicted with their tragedy they right away they say

[61:41]to Allah we belong that doesn't mean they don't cry they cry

[61:44]but then they also say this those are the people who will

[61:57]receive the salawat from Allah the blessings the mercy from Allah from

[62:03]Allah and those are those who are Guided by Allah um I

[62:09]just wanted to make a point on the crying as well um

[62:13]like from what I've researched about crying physiologically when you cry you're

[62:18]releasing a lot of you know negative emotions so you end up

[62:24]feeling better so I see it as kind of like a blessing

[62:25]from God right he gave it to us for a reason we

[62:29]cry for a reason everything is for a reason um and I

[62:32]can't stress this enough I know I already said this but I

[62:37]think especially in our culture it's it's very common for us to

[62:40]hold things in especially men um but that's what's leading to a

[62:46]lot of the anger right there's no way that you can like

[62:48]I said get rid of emotions you have to release it you

[62:52]know whether it's writing it down whether it's talking to somebody else

[62:56]um I think a lot of the problems that we're having is

[63:00]that youth and even adults aren't given the opportunity to to share

[63:05]their emotions and when they do their parents our parents usually don't

[63:09]know what to do with it they'll just give us advice or

[63:13]tell us to be strong and that's I think the main thing

[63:17]that's contributing to a lot of mental health issues in our community

[63:21]and in other communities as well so just giving yourself an outlet

[63:26]I would really recommend that you don't have to go to therapy

[63:28]right you can just get more in tune with how you feel

[63:33]I know it sounds corny but it really is what what's going

[63:36]to help you to let things go because when we hold things

[63:40]in especially when it's built up over time right a lot of

[63:43]us have what's considered emotional neglect where as children we were never

[63:47]given the opportunity to talk about our feelings to have somebody hear

[63:49]them and support us emotionally um so now as adults we don't

[63:54]know what to do with feelings we don't know how to express

[63:56]ourselves that affects our relationships so it just contributes to a lot

[64:01]of problems and what it really boils down to is just face

[64:06]your feelings it's okay to feel we're human right it doesn't make

[64:09]us weak it makes us strong actually because the people who have

[64:13]let themselves feel and have resolved that are now in a grounded

[64:16]space they're not going to be triggered over something very small right

[64:20]when people have held things in for a long time and then

[64:23]somebody makes a comment we might they might explode because again all

[64:27]of that is still there it's just ready to come out [Music]

[64:33]I have one question here and then we want to talk a

[64:37]few points about treatment it's from an Islamic perspective and a medical

[64:42]perspective and then we can conclude from there go ahead I was

[64:44]just going to share some thoughts actually I'm I come from the

[64:46]medical perspective so I'm in the field of Psychiatry and one of

[64:51]the focuses of Psychiatry I mean Psychiatry is very vast so one

[64:55]of the focuses of the brain chemistry and I wanted to shed

[65:00]some light on so there are chemicals in our brain sometimes they're

[65:03]high sometimes they're low but when you're in a good mental state

[65:06]you're balanced so when an imbalance occurs you could be depleted in

[65:11]one of the chemicals that you need to feel balanced so for

[65:15]example if you have a sad thought for example and you keep

[65:18]thinking about that sad thought you start feeling down you're depleting a

[65:24]chemical in your brain called serotonin now you're in need of Serotonin

[65:28]now what does the body do to react to that it cries

[65:32]so you cry you get a boost of serotonin in your brain

[65:35]because that's what your body needs in that moment so we talked

[65:41]about a fine line between when should I go get professional help

[65:44]and when should I continue with my Dean I think the nice

[65:49]thing about social media and everything is there's an awareness now so

[65:53]we all understand mental health a little bit better and I think

[65:57]one important thing is to be a little more self-aware so that

[66:01]when you do notice I'm a little imbalanced right now I might

[66:06]be headed to a darker place or I don't feel like my

[66:08]normal self maybe it's a good time to turn to Dean a

[66:12]little bit more because Dean might bring in this favorable favorable state

[66:15]where now I'm in this condition where I could make advancements in

[66:21]my balance my chemical balance in my brain and then suddenly it

[66:25]could be resolved or you reach the point where you've crossed the

[66:31]line and it's time to sleep professional wow thank you and that's

[66:34]kind of a perfect time to maybe if can kind of touch

[66:40]on points of when should we seek treatment when is when is

[66:43]that line crossed where we really need to seek mental professional health

[66:48]uh so uh thank you brother for the uh for that perspective

[66:52]definitely um so that's a great way to look at it as

[66:57]well is that uh there is actually there can be um you

[66:58]know you can see all the difficulties that we go through or

[67:01]the you know can mental health conditions you can't see them in

[67:03]the brain you know with scans and things like that but at

[67:06]the same time obviously you know there's um certain conditions that you

[67:09]know that would benefit from medication for example there's a there's others

[67:14]that you need medication in order to to improve um maybe in

[67:20]addition to therapy there's a lot that can still be done though

[67:23]like you mentioned like if you're you know if you you mentioned

[67:27]the crying what other behaviors as well uh other behaviors other techniques

[67:31]other interventions uh through therapy or through other other means which um

[67:37]which can uh which can and and you know it can result

[67:42]in you feeling better it can result in you kind of uh

[67:45]resolving those issues but uh and then you know in turn that

[67:50]can be seen in scans let's say that you see the more

[67:51]balanced so it's not necessarily that you focus just on the um

[67:56]on the uh you know imbalances specifically and and the and that

[68:00]kind of side you know brain chemistry but it can also it's

[68:04]just how you know just by naturally being we are so um

[68:08]so in terms of uh in terms of one we should seek

[68:12]therapy a lot of times we can resolve a lot of things

[68:16]just by having a strong support system for example we can uh

[68:21]having a strong Community you know alhamdulillah here we have we have

[68:24]a strong community and we have multiple centers and you know this

[68:27]this new one a new addition as well um and I can't

[68:32]hear it right so that that that's uh that in itself can

[68:35]can help a lot the point when it becomes difficult and you

[68:41]know maybe you should go seek tree bid is when it starts

[68:45]affecting you in in different parts of life where it's noticeable where

[68:48]it's having an effect for example on on your job where you're

[68:51]you're getting warnings where you're getting uh you're not feeling like you're

[68:54]being productive where uh for example in terms of uh socially as

[68:59]well you feel like you don't you don't want to go out

[69:01]it people around you notice that there's a difference there they notice

[69:03]that you're not really uh you know you're not interested in the

[69:07]things that you used to like doing before for example so there's

[69:11]a lot of uh it's it's very good to educate ourselves on

[69:15]those signs uh where where it does need uh treatment and does

[69:17]need therapy because uh a lot of times for example people think

[69:23]of depression as just being being sad for example uh or um

[69:26]whereas it could look like a lot of different things what can

[69:30]look like for example staying in bed all day or um eating

[69:34]eating yeah eating excessively as well or not having an appetite for

[69:37]example or sleeping you know more than usual not engaging with others

[69:43]not you know isolating yourself so it's all these things when when

[69:48]it's helpful when others around you notice it as well but it's

[69:51]it's also maybe when we leave here tonight we can all go

[69:54]and research some of these things in terms of what signs to

[69:56]look out for because uh because they may not be noticeable maybe

[69:58]maybe sometimes they can be uh we can confuse them as part

[70:04]of our identity if we've had them for years for example if

[70:05]you're going through school and you're going through um you know uh

[70:10]into your 20s or even older sometimes you can have uh certain

[70:13]things that are that we kind of identify as ourselves as who

[70:18]we are and we you know we can't see ourselves separating from

[70:21]those but in fact they may be stopping us from from actually

[70:28]getting you know realizing our full potential so um so I mean

[70:30]the short answer is just if it's really affecting you if it's

[70:32]really affecting you in all the in different parts of life like

[70:36]we mentioned including religious maybe sometimes it can be if you're not

[70:40]able to for example put your heart into into you know performing

[70:42]religious Acts or you're not you know you just don't you feel

[70:45]assistant from you know Allah or you feel guilt or you feel

[70:52]you know all these kinds of things sometimes having looking at it

[70:55]from a mental health perspective can help you as well in order

[70:57]to to perform better in that way or to feel closer to

[71:02]Allah um I think it's very important that we've had this event

[71:14]today because our mental health and our spiritual health are like so

[71:18]intertwined for example if you don't feel like praying right it could

[71:22]be that you're feeling depressed it could be that you're having a

[71:25]lot of negative thoughts about yourselves or guilt or whatever it may

[71:29]be and that's you know preventing you from growing in a you

[71:34]know spiritual way so if you don't resolve that you could be

[71:39]missing the real issue there right um and I also wanted to

[71:44]point out that I don't I agree with you Ahmed that that's

[71:45]that's how you can tell when okay maybe my mental health symptoms

[71:51]are indicating that I'm having like an actual mental illness or disorder

[71:55]like it's that far if it's affecting our functioning across the board

[71:59]like you mentioned but you don't necessarily have to be like really

[72:01]struggling to go to therapy I think anybody can benefit from it

[72:06]um because we've all gone through things and unless you're like really

[72:12]good about processing your feelings and you've given yourself the space to

[72:16]do that then that's great maybe you don't need it but I

[72:18]think a lot of us have gone through things and and maybe

[72:22]we haven't really faced or processed what's happened to us you know

[72:25]especially if we didn't have a supportive adult growing up um and

[72:29]we were like you know that's pretty much trauma right when you

[72:32]go through something extremely stressful and you have nobody to turn to

[72:36]to help you understand what happened trauma is what's going to end

[72:40]up increasing your risk for a lot of these mental health conditions

[72:43]and Trauma doesn't have to be being in a war right trauma

[72:46]can be um being bullied feeling misunderstood by people around you those

[72:52]type of things you know are just as impactful in our psychology

[72:57]so yeah I would say anyone can really go even if you're

[73:01]doing well you can still benefit from it thank you so much

[73:06]um definitely helpful to kind of understand I'm really opened my eyes

[73:10]that sometimes yeah these things that could be a problem are part

[73:17]of our identity so it's really interesting um this might be a

[73:20]heavy question but I think it's something that we can also conclude

[73:24]with um and it's a two-point um is mental health is a

[73:29]mental health illness a result of spiritual disconnect and what is Islam's

[73:35]perspective on receiving medication mental health psychiatric medication so the second question

[73:43]Islam's take on receiving medication or help from an expert is that

[73:49]definitely you should definitely you should and you have to go to

[73:56]the expert it has said that one of the prophets probably Prophet

[74:00]Musa he fell ill and he was not getting better he keeps

[74:07]asking Allah to cure him but he wasn't getting better and then

[74:12]Allah tells him you want to get better you have to seek

[74:17]the medicine you have to seek the medication you will get better

[74:20]and Allah will allow the medicine to work on you yes ultimately

[74:25]it is God who cures however Allah has certain channels for certain

[74:29]things right now I want to go from point A to point

[74:32]B do I have to drive do I have to walk don't

[74:33]that's the method of reaching there I don't say God you you

[74:40]make me just be there so same with illness same with um

[74:44]if I'm having heart pain if I'm having lung issues if and

[74:49]or if I'm having mental health issues I need to seek the

[74:52]proper treatment and then at the same time I do Dua and

[74:57]I ask Allah that's for your second question first the first question

[75:00]as a mental health um illness a sign of lack of faith

[75:06]or disconnect with Allah I believe that sometimes it could be sometimes

[75:13]it could be and sometimes it's not because even um I don't

[75:19]know if uh maybe we could there's levels there's levels of depression

[75:24]there's levels of of feeling feeling you know not feeling well not

[75:30]every person who's you know not feeling well is clinically depressed right

[75:35]sometimes sometimes you're just going through a small a small you know

[75:41]a small issue in your life it's just a brief moment maybe

[75:43]a day two days an hour two hours and then you get

[75:47]up and you feel much better so I believe that for those

[75:49]smaller ones then you need to you know if you pray if

[75:55]you turn to Allah Allah says seek Refuge when you're going through

[76:02]trouble seek Refuge with Sabra with patience and Salah and turning to

[76:12]Allah and at times no at times I've seen people who are

[76:15]so this is not a yes or no answer this is a

[76:19]it depends and I believe the experts you know a psychiatrist or

[76:24]a therapist they would probably be able to differentiate uh what What's

[76:28]what the person is going through at what particular time because I've

[76:33]seen people who they praise they go to Hajj they do the

[76:40]ziara and they're depressed they're depressed they can't get out of the

[76:43]room they can't do anything so it's not a matter of Faith

[76:45]it's not always a matter of faith and probably most of the

[76:49]time it's not a matter of Faith now yes there are certain

[76:52]things to us there are certain things that we could do that

[76:56]would help but if someone is deep down there you know they're

[76:58]really it's a chemical imbalance it's a it's a really you know

[77:01]severe form of depression then this person would require medication the same

[77:06]way if I have a heart problem I require medication you don't

[77:10]tell someone who has a heart problem yeah your your faith is

[77:13]not that strong that's why you have a heart disease no there

[77:16]are people who are who are believers they're really good they have

[77:21]heart they have cancer they have other issues so it's this is

[77:24]an illness just like any other illness and I believe that we

[77:29]need to remove the stigma where we where we associate the the

[77:34]mental health illnesses as a form of lack of faith because that

[77:40]is what's keeping people from seeking treatment and when people do not

[77:45]see treatment or if someone is going through a crisis someone's going

[77:48]through a problem in life right away people say yeah I see

[77:51]this as a lack of faith no we have to remove that

[77:55]any last thoughts from the audience I have brother here okay go

[78:01]ahead sister I just wanted to share something um I'm a therapist

[78:05]myself and I really wanted to just share also that mental illness

[78:09]has a lot to do with genetics um we carry genetic predispositions

[78:15]um that are passed down from our ancestors so mental illness is

[78:22]not necessarily always a choice we carry these genes that are sometimes

[78:28]activated by our environment and I think it's for example if it

[78:31]starts off as um mild depression it can probably turn into bipolar

[78:35]disorder by the time someone is um in their 20s or late

[78:40]20s or even schizophrenia or something more severe so it's very important

[78:45]to pay attention to genetics and the scientific underpinning to why we

[78:50]experience some mental illness so I just wanted to share that absolutely

[78:54]thank you any other thoughts I guess go ahead yeah um so

[79:00]just like uh how do we understand the nature of like our

[79:05]struggles because you know you mentioned that the closer we are to

[79:08]Allah Allah gives us more struggles but I also hear that the

[79:13]more a person sins and goes farther away from Allah the more

[79:16]likely they are struggle so when we get a particular struggle how

[79:20]do we understand the nature and why exactly that struggle came to

[79:26]be so I believe it goes back to your your where you

[79:28]are like how do you see the struggle if I'm for example

[79:32]going through a difficulty I say I surrender to Allah and that

[79:36]means that's a sign that I'm passing the test but if for

[79:38]example I commit sins my life is a a sinful life and

[79:43]then I face a struggle the same struggle you know something very

[79:47]similar but that is a form of God discipline so it could

[79:51]be the same thing like this hurricane that came for some people

[79:54]it's a task for some people it's a discipline for some people

[80:00]it's you know every person Allah will treat every single person based

[80:07]on who they are and based on their own life Allah is

[80:10]not going to you know have everyone suffer for the actions of

[80:16]one everyone based on who they are based on their circumstances they're

[80:19]going to receive their their own type of test in life I

[80:27]just wanted to kind of get your thoughts on this I recently

[80:32]became aware of the difference between struggling and suffering where we all

[80:37]may go through difficulties in our life but it doesn't mean that

[80:42]at an internal level we are asking questions like why me losing

[80:46]the sense of self-compassion self-love self-worth right when we start losing some

[80:52]of those elements that struggle becomes a suffering and one may say

[80:58]even he struggled he struggled big time but when he was being

[81:04]martyred his soul was not suffering because he was nothing that his

[81:08]soul was at peace and so from a psychology perspective could you

[81:13]shed some light on yeah that's that's a very um good point

[81:16]that you mentioned because as I kind of mentioned before we there's

[81:20]the pain of the event there's the actual event that's difficult and

[81:23]then there's everything we add to it right the asking why me

[81:28]the ascribing meaning to it when we don't know right something could

[81:31]appear bad it could be very tragic but it could be what

[81:36]we need it could be a good thing um so just having

[81:38]that perspective in the moment like I was actually listening to a

[81:44]podcast recently about mindfulness um and it's got me thinking a lot

[81:46]because it it asks you like if you're going through something just

[81:52]ask yourself what is wrong with now usually right now at that

[81:56]moment you're fine right but again it's still worrying about what's gonna

[82:00]happen that's that's where you start to really get in your mind

[82:03]and it really starts to eat at you and that's you know

[82:06]something that can make you more susceptible to developing a mental illness

[82:10]it's either we're focused on the future we're wearing oh what but

[82:13]if this happens this happened now what if this happens and it

[82:17]just escalates and escalates and escalates I'll give you an example once

[82:21]I uh I had my clients confidential information and envelope and I

[82:27]lost it so I started freaking out I was like someone's gonna

[82:30]find it they're gonna know my client then I'm gonna lose my

[82:33]license gonna lose my job like I just kept taking it more

[82:37]and more and more um so that that's where we have the

[82:39]control right we can't control what happens but we can control our

[82:42]perspective about it you know like you mentioned during the Battle of

[82:49]carvela they had that perspective they knew that this needed to happen

[82:51]you know they knew that this was actually a good thing even

[82:56]though it was very tragic you know it was a sacrifice it

[82:58]was all you know to save Islam at the end of the

[83:01]day and they had that faith in God and that understanding right

[83:06]so we can tap into that we just have to take a

[83:08]step back and realize you know at the end of the day

[83:13]you know what what's what do we have control over here I'm

[83:14]not saying we're never gonna get upset about things we're human but

[83:20]it's just another tip and trick we can use to to better

[83:22]handle these type of things uh just so very quickly I think

[83:29]I agree obviously just to follow up on the SMS points but

[83:34]um uh I think um having uh having perspective obviously is a

[83:38]great thing but uh is a very important thing uh in addition

[83:40]to that it's um it's the beliefs that we have about you

[83:43]know the mindset that we have is a lot of it is

[83:46]based on the beliefs that we have um from from childhood you

[83:50]know in terms of how our parents or our world basically or

[83:53]our community our society how sometimes it's in the home though it

[83:56]starts in the home well we're taught about certain things how we

[84:00]are taught about you know uh to handle certain struggles or or

[84:05]things so we can take it from yeah like you said like

[84:07]a struggle that we can um which is uh can be like

[84:11]the growth mindset there that we're we're going to use this to

[84:13]grow as opposed to suffering which is you know like you said

[84:17]you may lose compassion for other people you may um uh so

[84:20]so this is uh this is this can also inform our world

[84:23]view so the beliefs that we have can form a world view

[84:25]and that starts from when we're very young um and um and

[84:30]yeah having being able to change our perspective being having that kind

[84:34]of flexibility can can help us along scientists they do believe that

[84:46]the mental illness is related to something going on inside the brain

[84:51]and the brain is an organ so they believe it's it's something

[84:55]related to the communication of neurons in the body and as the

[85:01]doctor said historically is one of the hormones or chemicals that can

[85:06]affect the brain Behavior right if it's low for example they will

[85:12]feel depression so every patient feels like the mental understanding can be

[85:18]diagnosed differently so it can be treated with medication it can be

[85:22]treated with a nice word it can be treated by going by

[85:24]reading to ah it can be treated by talking for someone so

[85:29]I just wanted to add that every patient is diagnosed differently any

[85:36]other thoughts from the audience go ahead brother uh I have a

[85:44]there's a very common question that I get from non-believers Believers uh

[85:48]and I believe you're struggling with their religion it's uh why would

[85:53]uh just and all merciful god uh give us all these struggles

[86:00]why do we why are we pushed with all these struggles why

[86:02]is he so just is he making this hard so this life's

[86:06]so hard I've seen a lot of doctors that were Believers that

[86:09]give up their beliefs because they see all these patients going through

[86:13]these horrible things so what is your answer to that or a

[86:15]Childhood Cancer for example yeah exactly so there's more different ways to

[86:23]answer this but it ends it all goes back to life as

[86:25]a test and this is not the place of seeking the reward

[86:30]this this is not the result you're still in the test so

[86:34]we want the results we want to live a happy life in

[86:40]this life when that is in the at the end of the

[86:44]day everyone struggles in this life not just that person with cancer

[86:49]that person with this problem this person everyone struggles everyone struggles and

[86:53]everyone goes through challenges but we just have to you know have

[87:01]that shift um you know in our in our mindset and our

[87:03]thinking that this is not the place of reward this is not

[87:08]the place of jazad this is the Dunya of this is the

[87:11]place of ipt this is in the middle of the test I

[87:12]want to be comfortable I want to receive the results in the

[87:18]middle of the test if we as a Muslim as a believer

[87:21]in other religions we believe that this life is a test if

[87:24]I keep reminding myself that this life is a test then no

[87:26]matter what struggle I'm dealing with God Is Watching God is going

[87:32]to reward me whatever it is however bad it is God is

[87:35]going to reimburse me God is going to give me God is

[87:41]going to justice is in the and this life Justice cannot be

[87:44]established Justice is in the and Allah will not only be just

[87:51]with us but Allah will give us more than what we deserve

[87:53]I pray I pray for 50 60 years in this life and

[87:57]Allah gives me eternal Paradise is that Justice that's more than Justice

[88:05]that's Grace from Allah that's Allah Allah has given me much more

[88:09]than I deserve because of the difficulties and the challenges that I

[88:13]face but as long as you're as long as you have the

[88:17]Iman then Allah will definitely give you much more than that well

[88:21]sorry to push back a little bit but how about for the

[88:26]five-year-old child of breast cancer how that's that's the okay also also

[88:30]that child is going to be rewarded their parents are going to

[88:36]be rewarded the family whoever had to deal with that suffering is

[88:39]going to be compensated many folds more many times more and then

[88:43]also one very important point A lot of times now we were

[88:49]talking about how tests are how struggles and iptana is a test

[88:53]from Allah but not always Allah says foreign if I go in

[89:04]during you know a mother or someone they go and they're they're

[89:09]doing drugs and drugs and drugs and then they come and then

[89:13]Allah gives them a child that this child has problems because of

[89:17]their cocaine because of their the problems that they were they were

[89:20]causing and then they come why did God give me this you're

[89:23]living a miserable life you were drinking you were doing you were

[89:28]doing all these things there's a consequence to your actions sometimes we

[89:32]don't realize there's a there's consequences to our actions and this is

[89:35]also a different dimension at this that we have to we have

[89:38]to analyze probably another session or something but um so not they're

[89:42]not always tests or or it is a test if I'm a

[89:46]Believer however what happens to me in my life most of the

[89:50]time doesn't just come out of nowhere Imam and Hussein wasn't just

[89:54]killed out of nowhere he led to that action but yes it

[90:00]was the truth someone who gets in a car accident they led

[90:02]to that car accident happening to them most of the time now

[90:06]we don't want to jump like someone who has a sick child

[90:08]maybe I don't know what I did maybe I don't know what

[90:14]I ate what I drank what I said to someone that's not

[90:16]only material things it's sometimes it's immaterial maybe I said something and

[90:21]then something's something happens to me this is why it's I don't

[90:27]know how it works from you there's a correlation between our actions

[90:32]and between what happens to us most of the times it happens

[90:40]because of our own actions and even even if you're if someone

[90:43]is good someone's a Believer imagine how did he end up in

[90:48]the whole tragedy happened on him was it because you just woke

[90:50]up and he found himself in karbala no Imam Hussain he made

[90:55]decision after decision after decision after decision which ended up ended him

[90:59]up in karbala now were those wrong decisions no they were not

[91:04]wrong decisions but that's the process of life so even that five-year-old

[91:07]whatever you know maybe their parents did something maybe someone did something

[91:13]but we always if if something good happened I like to say

[91:16]it was me but if something bad happened I blame it on

[91:21]God um and then Allah says God will give them the consequences

[91:28]of their own actions so that they may return to Allah so

[91:36]that they may contemplate and return to Allah so recently I like

[91:42]I'm a teacher versus um especially kids and all that there was

[91:47]a child who taught me that lesson before that it was not

[91:52]very clear to me either there was a child whose parents were

[91:55]drug abuse and finally the mother died the baby was born and

[92:00]he had like all those symptoms because of the drug use so

[92:04]I was thinking that child his parents both parents died right but

[92:09]the grandparents were taking care of that child it was a test

[92:14]for them it was a test for the teachers too for taking

[92:17]care of that kid so take it think about it that way

[92:22]too famous with the doctors it might be a test for you

[92:27]guys also thank you everybody for your participation just uh is there

[92:35]another question I'm sorry go ahead please you're the last person since

[92:40]your name please go ahead I insist I forgot it oh my

[92:47]God okay okay so um with everything that's been covered tonight from

[92:53]the medical one from the religious perspective would it be fair to

[92:57]say that especially for the Youth that uh being uh you know

[93:05]having a faith or being close to God and to these places

[93:09]can be uh maybe a preventive mechanism to a lot of these

[93:16]mental and stressful and those problems um not only you know waiting

[93:22]until they happen would Faith be a preventive for these to happen

[93:26]in the first place yeah I would say of course but let's

[93:32]see what the what they do yeah I mean yeah definitely um

[93:34]but I would just say to parents uh be intentional about how

[93:39]you present their religion to your children right like a lot of

[93:41]times it's just like you just do it because you have to

[93:44]psychologically if you give them the opportunity to have the discussion with

[93:48]you to explain the why um and and just cater it to

[93:55]the generation too like that quote by my mother list and I'm

[93:57]like raise your children according to the generation so understanding how their

[94:02]mind works and the best way to present it to them um

[94:05]could could increase the likelihood that that they will find that comfort

[94:10]in it because there's a lot of distractions now especially for youth

[94:12]you know they're all on social media and they have all these

[94:15]things competing against religion to them they might be like well that's

[94:18]old that's outdated but it's really not right there's a lot of

[94:23]Beauty in it it's just you know understanding how to how to

[94:27]communicate it to them the best way I would say is foreign

[94:42][Music] [Music] blood pressure medication and you will feel better but with

[95:00]the mental health problems I believe that having good support system getting

[95:06]closer to our love to help more than taking medication and also

[95:10]studies has shown that if you have and you know like those

[95:17]studies compared patients who got help from the community from uh from

[95:23]counselor from Scotland against a patient that puts medication alone so uh

[95:32]from a community have better outcomes than a patients who get medication

[95:43]alone so having good Community get support from supporting our message has

[95:50]have you know huge impact than taking medication especially with this kind

[95:57]of disease I mean there's a research study through Harvard University that

[96:02]says attending a religious Center weekly reduces your risk of depression and

[96:07]mental health illness so just being in the presence of a community

[96:12]a faith-based discussions this is also very helpful also why it can

[96:16]help with that you know can help with the increasing care of

[96:22]common levels such as like uh eating eggs you can like research

[96:26]food that increase telephone levels so that would help I really think

[96:29]it's really being mindful of everything now in our lives so just

[96:32]going back to what yes mean and brother Ahmad said being mindful

[96:37]um I think do you have any last minute last comments I

[96:43]think really just did you remember your question okay go for it

[96:47]is there a point where like psychiatric treatment and like therapy isn't

[96:52]enough thank you what the psychiatric psychiatrist like dancing you never give

[97:01]up there's options everywhere and like we mentioned earlier uh sometimes people

[97:06]react differently to different things and maybe Dean is enough for someone

[97:11]changing your diet is enough for someone so I think the most

[97:13]important thing is just you never give up and there have been

[97:19]Miracles with certain patients that I've seen that you know we just

[97:23]adjusted something that was so minor and then suddenly after exhausting everything

[97:28]else they're much better in them so it really just depends I

[97:32]wanted to also add something uh Brother Ali to your question I

[97:37]wanted to add something so um do you mind repeating your questions

[97:44]So my answer to that I would say um depending on the

[97:51]disorder and the severity of the disorder there's levels of treatment so

[97:55]Step One is like outpatient treatment there's you know different levels so

[98:00]Step One is outpatient there's also inpatient treatment there's adult foster care

[98:04]homes for people who require higher levels of care so there are

[98:10]many different levels depending on the severity of the illness and how

[98:14]to manage it properly exercise so I think a last point to

[98:22]kind of summarize everything in my in my opinion would be that

[98:25]changing our perspective and how we see our balat and our struggles

[98:28]and kind of you know if this struggle brings me closer to

[98:34]Allah then we have to see it as a blessing so with

[98:35]that said I would like to thank you all for attending today's

[98:39]session and for participating and I wish you guys a blessed night

[98:43]and thank you uh Yasmine Brothers for your expertise in this area

[98:50]thank you so much

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