Fiqh: Islamic Law | Rights of Marriage | Sayed Hussain Makke

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Hussain Makke
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In Lectures

What are the rights of the wife and the husband in Islam, and in what context should they be understood?

What is the spiritual understanding behind these laws?

Transcript

[0:00]all these rights that islam has for man and woman before marriage

[0:04]is based on what a man is supposed to be and what

[0:08]a woman is supposed to be in islam we actually have gender

[0:14]roles which the world now wants to get rid of we have

[0:16]how a man must live his life and how a woman must

[0:19]live her life depending on the inner nature of that person yes

[0:23]the woman is made as the feminine and the man is made

[0:29]as the masculine and there is supposed to be some feminine in

[0:31]man and there's supposed to be some masculine in women but predominantly

[0:35]the woman is supposed to be feminine and the man is supposed

[0:39]to be masculine what do i mean by these two terms i

[0:41]will explain as we go on first of all we're speaking about

[0:43]marriage marriage as we know in islam we have a badat and

[0:48]muammar that we mentioned in focus remember that is your own with

[0:53]allah your worship fasting praying these things is buying and selling marriage

[1:01]is under muammalat because nikah because there's a contract between two people

[1:06]so in the beginning with islam focus wise that's why marriage is

[1:11]under in football underneath because it's between two people it's a contract

[1:14]you might think like what's going on is a man buying the

[1:20]woman here no this is a contract in its fifty terms islamic

[1:23]law is based on this and then there are all the laws

[1:28]all the rules and all the rights that the man and the

[1:30]woman would have the husband and the wife would have and then

[1:33]of course you want to learn how to be the most pious

[1:37]people and follow the tradition of rasulallah in that when it comes

[1:46]to marriage that are that seem pretty but a lot of the

[1:50]as well will be based on the seerah and the narrations of

[1:52]the mean which we need as well so we can get the

[1:56]full picture otherwise if you want to be like those people that

[1:58]look only to the fit and they say look at islam and

[2:02]how oppressive it is to women then this is what we call

[2:04]a fallacy like in monte carlo we mentioned the other day in

[2:07]logic someone's taken only part of the truth and they have told

[2:11]you look what islam is they have disregarded the aspect disregarded what

[2:17]the prophet says about women and how the prophet treated women and

[2:20]how the imams treated women and so they come and they say

[2:25]that look these are the two rights of man in a marriage

[2:27]which are controversial and this is why a woman is oppressed so

[2:32]first of all when the man is coming to marry the woman

[2:36]we look at what the right of the woman is in islam

[2:39]in a marriage after the contract is happening the man has to

[2:43]be the one who goes to the woman in islam it's not

[2:47]bad or disliked if the woman approaches the man but even if

[2:52]she did like khadijah approached rasulullah rasulullah is the one who has

[2:55]to go to her house she doesn't come to rasulullah's house rasulullah

[2:59]went to say that house with abu talib his uncle and his

[3:04]uncle gave a little speech you know the whole they did all

[3:08]of that they're supposed to do that that means even if the

[3:11]woman comes to approach the man she's the one that likes the

[3:13]man is the man that has to go to earth and at

[3:16]the time abu talib is one who paid the mahara right but

[3:19]rasulullah was poor and so people were like you know who's going

[3:21]to pay the maharan ali al-islam was only like 9 10 years

[3:25]old and he comes he's like abby he was five actually he

[3:29]was five years old and he comes and he says my that's

[3:30]going to pay the he's the one who just put his dead

[3:35]into the place so it's the man that must go to the

[3:40]woman that means the man is the one who has to chase

[3:45]in general the woman is supposed to be uh prized you know

[3:50]you might feel like this is objectification and it's okay you can

[3:57]say that but as uncle say as i want to sound wallah

[4:01]is she's seen as like someone that you have to earn their

[4:04]love and trust and relationship that's why we have something called means

[4:12]when someone is worth someone else that's in fear in fear the

[4:17]man cannot approach the woman unless he is her kufu so we

[4:21]don't agree in 50 times if there's a princess islamically and she

[4:26]can't get married to the piper unless she decides that you know

[4:31]i'll go down to your level but the princess cannot get married

[4:37]to the piper in general in the beginning if she is living

[4:40]a certain lifestyle with her parents when you come you're supposed to

[4:45]be able to sustain that lifestyle unless she allows you and says

[4:49]that it's okay i will unhappy i will come down it's okay

[4:54]don't worry so she's letting you off the hook if the girl

[5:00]has a servant in her home the husband must provide a servant

[5:04]because he has to let her live the same lifestyle that she

[5:08]lives in her family's house unless she comes and says it's okay

[5:11]i will do without a servant so ha ha and she won't

[5:15]she will allow you not to do that tell you these are

[5:19]all these are this is folk i'll tell you when i get

[5:21]into the spiritual aspect so far we're in phil which is very

[5:24]interesting why as i just mentioned how dry it can be how

[5:29]it's all about rules how it's all about not about what's with

[5:31]meaning necessarily but no when you start looking at the aqua based

[5:37]on the and the and then you see that the man has

[5:39]to be the one to chase and impress and talk to the

[5:44]parents and convince them and all of that then it comes down

[5:47]to her and she doesn't have to get married she doesn't want

[5:49]to even if her dad tells her you know get married she

[5:51]doesn't have to she's above nine years old she's uh she has

[5:56]william over herself as well as her father having way over they

[5:59]both have to agree so if he agrees and she doesn't they

[6:01]can't get married let's tell you if she allows both of these

[6:08]things and she lets him off the hook and even kaffa uh

[6:10]by the way that's why we say in the narrations and this

[6:14]is part of the side that you understand what kuffar means as

[6:19]well we say that says [Music] imam ali was not there she

[6:33]could never get married there was no one worth her so when

[6:37]you're going when there's someone coming and your father is looking at

[6:43]he's looking at is this person kufu or not and by the

[6:44]way if the person is not kofo and your father disagrees then

[6:48]it's his right to kuffu would mean as well that there's no

[6:50]one else around who is worth with the girl so this is

[6:54]the only person that comes this person comes along and he's saying

[6:57]i'm kufu and he's not kofo you can he can claim but

[7:02]the father may not see the kaffa in the person of course

[7:05]everyone has to have their evidences it's not just based on claims

[7:08]so is within fit it's used by the raja it's in the

[7:16]salah so it's something that is seen as a rule it's a

[7:19]rule and it's for the woman it's her right that she if

[7:23]she wants can allow the man to approach her even if he's

[7:27]not worthy of her in thickly terms what happens when they get

[7:32]married they have a contract and then there's maha that has to

[7:37]be paid right a dowry now it's always encouraged that the diary

[7:44]is not too high so that it doesn't place too much strain

[7:48]on the man but this is worship on the man to pay

[7:53]as an insurance policy for the woman why again the general of

[7:56]the man in islam is the protector and the worker outside of

[7:59]the home he is supposed to be the breadwinner and i'll get

[8:03]to that right now so the man has to the the main

[8:07]thing that he has to do with his wife once she's his

[8:13]wife is was he has to sustain her always sustain her financially

[8:25]with food with shelter with clothes with everything else that's worship on

[8:33]demand to do even if she's super rich even if she has

[8:36]millions of dollars it does not matter it's the man's job to

[8:41]get the house you have to own it but he has to

[8:43]at least provide a place in which she lives and it doesn't

[8:48]have to be with his parents it's her right for it not

[8:51]to be with his parents she deserves she has a right of

[8:55]her own space where she can live and food and shelter and

[8:59]clothes are all supposed to be provided for her she can work

[9:02]not work that's something else she has money or no money something

[9:09]else this is a man's job always the nafaka is the main

[9:12]right that the woman has this to sustain her financially once the

[9:16]marriage is done after the dowry has been paid whatever the diary

[9:20]is that they agree upon and these days i don't know they

[9:23]twenty thousand dollars people are saying thirty thousand fifty thousand i don't

[9:26]know some people just do a quran some people do a hajj

[9:28]some people do these kinds of things right although i do recommend

[9:32]that there be money and there's insurance policy for the woman so

[9:36]that nasa mahala if there's a divorce she has something to fall

[9:39]back on even though now you guys have fallen back on your

[9:43]degrees and everything else in in the olden times there weren't these

[9:46]things and the man was the one who was the main breadwinner

[9:49]and this is also why this is showing that this is based

[9:52]on the man being the bread winner but this does not change

[9:56]with the times this we know now that there are women that

[9:58]are out there and they're working but is still based on a

[10:02]man because the man stays a man and the woman stays a

[10:06]woman this is not about the change of times there are some

[10:07]things that are thrabbit and some things that are here some things

[10:12]change over time but the the do not change over time and

[10:16]it's a daruda for a woman to be a woman and a

[10:19]man to be a man there's a masculine nature to a man

[10:23]that he must have and a feminine nature to a woman that

[10:25]she must have in the islamic church in islam in the islamic

[10:31]ideology and the islamic world view which is why the man also

[10:36]receives double the sun received double the daughter and inheritance if you

[10:39]ask why does the boy receive double the woman inheritance that's the

[10:44]inheritance that's done without the wasa and the will of the parent

[10:46]so the parent can be like you know i want to give

[10:49]my door everything and whatever whatever is left over is divided and

[10:53]given double to the boy and a half to the girl one

[10:56]to the girl but aside from the wasa and the will of

[10:59]the parent if the parent dies without a will whatever is left

[11:04]over you get double for the son and only half of that

[11:08]for the woman because it's seen that the man has to pay

[11:11]for this and the man has to pay for this whereas what

[11:15]the woman receives is hers so even even if for example the

[11:19]wife she had some money from inheritance that's hers she doesn't have

[11:21]to give that to the relationship she can do whatever she wants

[11:26]with that her husband can't claim that but whatever the man receives

[11:31]as inheritance he has to spend some of that on his wife

[11:33]and he's seen as a breadwinner so this is why you can't

[11:38]divorce the islamic rulings from each other when you come and you

[11:41]say look at inheritance laws they're so oppressive we're like wait you

[11:44]have to look at the entire landscape first because we see that

[11:48]it's worship on the man to pay for everything it's not worship

[11:51]on the woman and where's my man to pay for everything with

[11:54]his wife not on the woman so he needs more help so

[11:58]he gets that from inheritance so then it comes as a world

[12:03]view if you will and it's based all of this is based

[12:05]on happiness of the human being that's what it's based on so

[12:08]if you ask why all of this like before everything else and

[12:11]allah loves it doesn't love it allah loves for you to be

[12:15]happy so he sets out a way for you to be happy

[12:16]and he says for you to be happy to enjoy your life

[12:20]this is the framework by which you must work in and this

[12:24]is how families are made this helps the structure of the family

[12:28]which creates society when you destroy the gender role then the family

[12:35]breaks down so you have two men adopting a kid that doesn't

[12:38]know what's going on anymore then he wants to marry another man

[12:40]and then the society itself falls over and breaks apart and no

[12:45]one knows themselves anymore and then you fall into an identity crisis

[12:48]not even on a personal level but you don't even know your

[12:51]gender is anymore so you don't know what you're supposed to do

[12:54]anymore you don't know he's supposed to be and then you have

[12:58]people that want to be crocodiles now and reptiles and tattoos so

[13:00]it's all over the place whereas allah says wait there's a way

[13:05]by which to do this that you have a happy family and

[13:09]there's a happy father and a happy mother and by the way

[13:12]this is how you attract each other biologically speaking a man from

[13:18]what i usually understand of men are not attracted to the woman

[13:21]that's walking around and telling everyone what to do and has a

[13:25]stern voice and she's the one who makes the orders the man

[13:29]doesn't like that biologically speaking and the woman doesn't like you guys

[13:36]know that you don't like that when you when the man is

[13:39]like this always as much as you say woman's right woman's rights

[13:42]and everything else when the man is like that you don't like

[13:45]it you want to be sometimes you know the man is there

[13:47]he's protecting you and you know as much as you want to

[13:51]say objectification this is what you're attracted to now yes there may

[13:54]be individuals that are not attracted to these things anymore and i

[13:57]don't blame you because of everything that you're drilling into your heads

[14:00]with netflix and everywhere else now every show on netflix has someone

[14:05]who is you know different it's everywhere so then about why i

[14:11]said like am i on their side because all the good guys

[14:15]are like that now right so it confuses you so this is

[14:19]something that we have to be aware of [Music] i have until

[14:30]seven it's okay just six seven okay so this is the right

[14:37]of the woman of the wife in marriage of course men and

[14:43]women have different rights several rights but this is the right and

[14:46]islamic law in marriage and there are some muslim this is what's

[14:49]worship what's interesting again and this isn't and it's mustahab okay is

[14:55]like if you find it in state sustain why i find it

[15:00]so interesting because it's a hokum when i find things like this

[15:02]that are i come i get so interested and so happy because

[15:05]i'm like this is not even just an akhtar this was seen

[15:08]as something important enough to make into a hakum and so someone

[15:12]can see it someone who doesn't know about not divorcing the two

[15:14]for example part of the luck of the wife here is she

[15:17]can't just come and say to the husband hey like give me

[15:20]what i want right now give me you owe me no like

[15:23]that's not how we deal with the husband right you know he's

[15:26]having hard times it's okay i'm patient with you like i said

[15:30]it's your right to have a servant but maybe you can't afford

[15:32]it it's out of the luck of the woman to live a

[15:36]life where her husband can handle it you see this is where

[15:41]the heart comes in so the right of the woman was there

[15:43]but then the luck is you know if you can't handle it

[15:45]i support you right now you know what you don't have money

[15:49]maybe i can help you out i'm working like that would be

[15:51]down to her and her whatever she wants right and usually in

[15:55]a happy marriage that's expected in a happy marriage where you two

[15:58]sacrifice for each other and you help each other it's expected that

[16:02]you know there are some rights that you don't have to exercise

[16:05]if you want to exercise those rights it becomes very unhappy if

[16:09]she wants to exercise these rights he's going to exercise his and

[16:12]it becomes a very unhappy marriage once you see what the rights

[16:15]of the husband are however when it comes to then you have

[16:20]mawedha as the quran describes the relationship between man and woman this

[16:24]love between man and woman they become best friends and they become

[16:27]partners on the path to allah they really do because then she

[16:33]teaches him femininity and he teaches her masculinity and that's the way

[16:37]you know allah because allah's names are divided into masculine feminine and

[16:42]that comes more into the advantage we can talk about as well

[16:45]what i find very interesting in the part is they say on

[16:52]the night of the wedding it's mustahab as a hokum to take

[16:59]the wife to the house and then the man has to clean

[17:01]the house water with over the floors and then he brings his

[17:07]wife's feet and he washes her feet and then he puts his

[17:09]hand on her forehead and he recites a dua and then they

[17:13]say the marriage is supposed to be consummated there and look how

[17:17]it is it's seen as something very spiritual and actually the dua

[17:21]is the imams and generations they recommend times in which to dua

[17:26]one of those times when man and woman husband and wife are

[17:30]together when they sleep together in that time dua is recommended or

[17:33]speaking to allah and someone think what yes because it's supposed to

[17:39]be a spiritual experience the world again the modern world has made

[17:42]it very dirty and people get addicted to the wrong things and

[17:48]very objectifying and islam is not that and islam is actually one

[17:52]of the forms people often when i say this it's one of

[17:55]the greatest forms to know allah you can cry in those moments

[18:03]you really you elevate if you do this properly they're showing an

[18:08]introduction to this when we say allah's names are divided into jamal

[18:14]and jalal right this is majesty this is jamal is beauty and

[18:26]this is majesty and this is the masculine and this is the

[18:33]feminine allah is here these names are not allah because obviously these

[18:46]words and the reality of allah we can only point to it

[18:48]someone give me a name of allah all right good nice ones

[18:57]so here on japan over here the forceful one it's a scary

[19:04]name you should only use this name in times of great hardship

[19:07]rahman is here can you see the pattern this is supposed to

[19:36]be feminine and it's supposed to be masculine allah's names are divided

[19:41]in this way and the woman is a manifestation of this and

[19:44]the man is a manifestation of this and we will know this

[19:49]deep down but we don't want to admit because when your mom

[19:52]calls you when you're far away and she says habibi are you

[19:55]okay what are you eating where are you sleeping are you cold

[19:59]are you warm and that calls you airbrush your heart right we

[20:03]all know that we love for this stereotype but we know it

[20:08]and it's true our biology tells us this and it's true i

[20:10]remember there was one girl that was telling me no it's not

[20:13]this way no it's not this way who said the woman has

[20:16]to be this way and at my engagement she was invited and

[20:18]then i gave a little speech and she started crying she was

[20:21]one with that cried and i said wait oh why are you

[20:23]crying does this woman think you're like don't start now it's all

[20:26]the place so but i'm just saying right and i couldn't help

[20:32]myself but but this is real we know this so what does

[20:35]that mean how do we know allah only when you have both

[20:38]so marriage marriage is the joining of both and then what happens

[20:46]when you guy when what [Music] and when the husband and wife

[20:59]consummate their marriage that is knowing allah that is one of the

[21:05]actions that you can do and i know that feels very foreign

[21:10]to your minds but it's the truth and dua is recommended in

[21:15]those times and really it's it's incredible and the imams talk about

[21:18]how this is the greatest pleasure that a human being can feel

[21:20]this is all from marriage so we went from fifth right trying

[21:24]to understand the thick of it to this for you then you

[21:29]look why can't then we not agree with two men marrying each

[21:33]other if you have one time one time a lesbian muslim sister

[21:53]came to me and she was asking me why don't we agree

[21:56]with it and i said look as muslims what's the aim the

[21:59]aim is to know allah that's my aim as a human being

[22:02]that's my aim i get married to know allah for you the

[22:07]institution of marriage needs both jamal and jalal that's how i know

[22:12]allah if it's jalal plus jalal and i cannot know allah if

[22:19]it's jamal plus jamal i cannot know allah half of the names

[22:24]are missing from this relationship and even though she's a lesbian she's

[22:27]like you know that makes sense and this is of course the

[22:31]philosophical way of explaining it the spiritual way of explaining it in

[22:34]the hakkon it will be like this haram and whoever does it

[22:38]this this this but in the spiritual explaining it is you can't

[22:41]know allah in that way you need your other half to know

[22:47]allah because that's your purpose so you need the inner nature of

[22:51]both you need them and you teach them to each other for

[22:55]you and that could of course only happen through the as well

[22:58]as the hakon the hokum do you see is the foundation of

[23:02]the relationship the rights the contract all of those things however the

[23:07]lack of the relationship is based on those two people and what

[23:11]they allow each other when they don't allow each other how they're

[23:13]taking easy on each other how they help each other how they

[23:16]sacrifice their own rights for each other so that they may have

[23:20]a happy marriage at the same time though it's important to live

[23:23]according to the account because you still want to be in line

[23:27]with what allah has in store for the woman and the man

[23:31]in their marriage so it can't always be about you know it's

[23:33]the flock of the husband to allow me or the clock of

[23:36]the woman to say you know like i'll let you go you

[23:39]have to get me the snow because as a man this is

[23:40]expected of you she might allow you this month but you have

[23:44]to get your working boots on man because you can't keep allowing

[23:45]your wife to because then she's going to stop seeing you as

[23:50]a man if she keeps disregarding her rights she will lose respect

[23:55]for the man but it's okay to help him in the beginning

[23:59]to get you know or hard times now we go into the

[24:05]rough part because this is where this is where the problems arise

[24:08]from you know when we just take it too far everything has

[24:10]to be balanced we'll take it too far and we start saying

[24:14]that everything is disregarded disregard it and there's stops being an islamic

[24:16]marriage you still have to try to adhere to these things it's

[24:19]a poor what do i mean by this let me explain now

[24:22]now that you have the background right so here is the first

[24:28]first right of the husband is tempin which means that whenever the

[24:35]husband wants to sleep with his wife she has to sleep with

[24:38]him that's the first one and the second one is it's um

[24:56]she has to have his permission to leave the home these are

[25:00]the two rights of the husband this is what all the controversy

[25:06]is over when it comes to marriage in islam like what is

[25:08]this you know they have marital rape they have the issue of

[25:13]well you can just lock her up of course there are ways

[25:15]in which this doesn't occur like when someone is oppressing they're always

[25:19]out of those when someone when the husband is oppressing or hitting

[25:23]her or anything else which is haram by the way yes ask

[25:48]if he says you have to ask you see so for example

[25:51]i'm staying at my friend's house right now he's not home before

[25:54]he left he's like uh just do whatever you want and just

[25:57]left if i see some food that's not my food that's in

[26:03]islam i'm not going to call him every single time i want

[26:06]a chocolate bar right because it's almost as if it's a shot

[26:09]of domini it's like you know that when this person accepts you

[26:12]into their home this is why focus is like seeing is so

[26:15]interesting because it goes into your right to ask that question that's

[26:17]how it operates sometimes i think that seems so obvious but they

[26:21]explain them in the 50 terms okay it's very robotic but that's

[26:24]not how people are supposed to be you're not supposed to be

[26:28]a person who moves as a robot okay but you're supposed to

[26:32]get these things cleared up because sometimes yes it's important to go

[26:36]by the rules so for example um when you go when you

[26:38]and your husband have an understanding and you guys have had this

[26:42]conversation that's how communication is important and he says you can leave

[26:45]the house whenever you want except i don't want to go to

[26:47]this place for example or be home by this time that becomes

[26:49]worship on you to be home by that time you know he

[26:52]doesn't want you out at night that's his right or if not

[26:55]like you for example the girl wants to go the woman wants

[26:58]to work by the way in the contract she can stipulate that

[27:01]i want to work i want to continue my work so that

[27:04]he can't say you have to stay home that's allowed in the

[27:08]country so the contract you see where you before you go into

[27:11]anything just so that hey you can't change your mind now because

[27:13]it's focus because the hokum now maybe i don't trust you maybe

[27:18]you're maybe you're looking really nice and mickey mouse to me right

[27:22]now but maybe you're going to change afterwards so i want to

[27:24]protect myself with the focus and i want to bind you to

[27:28]allah so you have to promise allah not me that you're not

[27:30]going to oppress me for example and tell me that i have

[27:32]to leave my work after we get married for example and i

[27:35]want to say oppressed because she might take it as oppression otherwise

[27:38]islam does not see that as oppression so this is a shock

[27:44]that in the contract you can stipulate this thing okay which is

[27:47]why you should be wise in the beginning always have this discussion

[27:51]with your parents don't be shy it's very important because you won't

[27:54]have a contract once and there are people 20 30 years later

[27:56]they regret not putting a certain conditional contract that man can also

[28:00]put a condition you yes between them and allah but the problem

[28:12]with that would be that if they disagree on it how can

[28:17]they prove anything they'll go to the the or the judge because

[28:19]they go to a hakama and they'll be like okay bring the

[28:21]evidence i don't have evidence i can't help you so you can't

[28:25]by the same time what did i say that we have to

[28:28]be able to as much as we can adhere to these rights

[28:31]because they're there for a reason that allah has put them there

[28:34]in that way because he says this is what the man expects

[28:37]to make him happy and this is what a woman expects to

[28:40]make it happen it doesn't mean that woman is a gold digger

[28:42]and a man is an addict does it mean that but we

[28:45]know men okay and we know women and there's a reason why

[28:48]even in western stereotypes they have these things they have these things

[28:51]but we're not saying that this is what they're supposed to be

[28:54]but allah is saying for the marriage to work this is what

[28:57]it has to be based on okay so for example with this

[29:00]it's very unwise for a man to just order unwise and if

[29:06]you look at the narrations and how the imams and the prophets

[29:10]speak about this they say that you shouldn't just go you know

[29:15]do what you want and then leave there has to be an

[29:20]introduction and she has to receive pleasure from it and it has

[29:22]to be for both of you because if you want to just

[29:25]be based on this you'd think it's a man's thing and halas

[29:27]when it's not and you'd be surprised 80 i would say of

[29:33]the marriage problems that i get and that my teachers get are

[29:34]based on this and as soon as they fix this you'd be

[29:39]so surprised how well the marriage goes well it doesn't mean we're

[29:42]dirty creatures or anything like that this is this is a veriza

[29:47]and if you can't be like this with your own partner and

[29:49]then you have to hold yourself when it comes to the rest

[29:51]of the world how are you going to live how are you

[29:53]gonna be happy how are you gonna get to allah you can't

[29:55]then you're gonna get addicted to things on the internet and you're

[29:58]gonna look in places where you shouldn't look right so this is

[30:01]why this is why this is why it's important by the way

[30:04]if you take this this lettuce usually in the way they give

[30:08]this dennis it's not going to have all these different reasons as

[30:10]to what i introduced we just take it but the reason why

[30:17]i'm explaining every little thing is that you can see the the

[30:21]world view is being formed in the structure and and i really

[30:23]want you to challenge me if you disagree that's how we're going

[30:27]to grow if you disagree with any of this it's okay don't

[30:30]feel intimidated or anything else like i said it's me and you

[30:33]versus the problem we're trying to find a way in solution so

[30:36]if there is an issue please be my guest to talk about

[30:39]it but this is overall the the rights if you will of

[30:48]the husband and the wife means the way in which you know

[30:53]the way in which a husband is supposed to treat a woman

[30:55]you're not supposed to say you can't go visit the family you

[30:57]can't go visit mum and dad so that may come under the

[31:00]adam for then she can have that and go and visit her

[31:05]mum and dad for example okay there's loads of ways in which

[31:09]he describes this people always ask the same kind of questions um

[31:43][Music] they have to respect each other and discuss all the other

[31:51]issues i don't want you to wear high heels but i like

[31:52]high heels well you have to discuss this between each other by

[31:57]the same time when the woman for example is going out with

[32:02]xena she's you know wants to go out without a head scarf

[32:04]for example or anything else she must put makeup or anything else

[32:07]the in terms the angels the honorations that the angels are doing

[32:16]lan not on her guess on who and her husband because you

[32:19]know what the angels are saying you're not a real man basically

[32:21]you can't you know she doesn't listen to you you can't do

[32:26]anything which is which means there's encouragement for the husband to help

[32:28]her on this path it isn't everyone's on different levels right everyone's

[32:32]a different level so you can't you can't think that everyone's on

[32:36]the same level maybe someone's wearing a scarf they want to wear

[32:38]a scarf maybe someone's wearing scarf but they wear tight clothes maybe

[32:41]someone doesn't wear tight clothes but they wear makeup okay whatever level

[32:44]the wife is on for example the husband can help her yes

[32:53]if she doesn't listen yeah she can just not listen and then

[33:00]her of course this is you see the angel is still doing

[33:07]on the man so he has to get divorced asap really if

[33:09]she's not listening then you have to divorce her there's no other

[33:13]way around it otherwise it's going to be in everything with your

[33:15]kids with everything else i know people don't don't want to agree

[33:18]to that but for me for me in my life this would

[33:22]be the case straight away straight away you know i wouldn't even

[33:27]wait think twice which is why inshallah will never happen yes sir

[33:36]if but still this would be between him and allah a wife

[33:54]like this is a huge test you know if she's making trouble

[33:59]for the man in this way his reputation his children everything else

[34:03]will be lost the woman is the center of the family so

[34:05]that's why she's the target right now as soon as the woman

[34:11]is um her mind is changed on what she's supposed to be

[34:14]in life the husband can't do anything neither can the kids and

[34:17]then the whole ideology of a religion because it's not only islam

[34:21]is going through this catholic christians are also going through this the

[34:25]tradition traditionalist religions and people of religion over the last thousands of

[34:28]years in the way in which society has been run is this

[34:32]way so what's happening right now in the last 50 60 years

[34:35]is very new it's uh subhanallah rasulullah said it's going to happen

[34:39]he told his companions shall i tell you of a day in

[34:41]which good becomes bad and bad becomes good and they're like it's

[34:47]just going to happen rasulullah he's like no even more you shall

[34:48]tell you of when and he keeps going and going when you

[34:52]read this narration right now inshallah i'll get it for you next

[34:55]week you're astounded because it's all happening right now and this is

[34:58]this is this has to be what's happening right now we're in

[35:01]the beginning of it we're in the beginning of it and that

[35:03]soon as the prophet said islam came as a stranger it's going

[35:07]to leave as a stranger so bless be the strangers and those

[35:09]who want to hold on to their religion at the end of

[35:12]times it's like holding onto hot coal you cannot keep holding on

[35:16]to it however when we come towards this type of knowledge because

[35:20]i i don't expect honestly everyone here to have accepted everything that

[35:23]i just mentioned and i don't want you to i want you

[35:25]to be challenged and think this over and i want you to

[35:27]ask your questions that's the only way that these things are going

[35:30]to grow with you that's the only way so when you come

[35:33]to these things with maturity and you think it through because this

[35:36]makes you think about society it's not just about one person you

[35:40]start thinking society and families and life and the mission of a

[35:44]human being what it's supposed to be you have to start from

[35:46]there because if you don't start from knowing allah then everything else

[35:49]doesn't make sense it starts from knowing allah and how do we

[35:53]know him these are the ways and and there is certain behavior

[35:57]that we must adhere to et cetera et cetera and you have

[35:59]to come with an open heart and open mind and humility i

[36:02]keep saying humility sincerity and patience because it takes a lot of

[36:05]time and you have to be humble because there are some things

[36:07]that you don't get and you have to be so sincere because

[36:10]you would want the truth not only to disprove people that when

[36:13]someone someone shows you evidence you change your mind it's not about

[36:17]your ego for example oh by the way there's just one thing

[36:19]that i wanted to mention i didn't mention i'm going to get

[36:20]to history right after this okay you know how he said something

[36:25]so interesting that i found out i just recently found this out

[36:27]and that's why i want to share it with you there's also

[36:29]there are different forms of us there's nothing so your parents or

[36:37]your children so if your parent is poor or your child is

[36:40]poor it's weird on you to take care of them you know

[36:44]as long as they need and the third one is if there's

[36:50]something that you own that is living it's worship on you to

[36:53]give nafaka to it to sustain it financially that means animals if

[36:57]you have pets they have a right on you in fifty terms

[37:04]the the cat the dog tylenol right it's not haram but it

[37:08]causes a lot of najasa problems the dog or anything else if

[37:12]you have cattle or anything else either you must you know slaughter

[37:16]them to feed people or you must take care of them if

[37:19]you don't it's haram and this was written in which book i

[37:25]found this in a 700 year old book from you know so

[37:31]shaheed then writes which i found so amazing is nature and your

[37:41]plants you it's wise you take care of your plants and trees

[37:45]if you own them if you have a backyard and you have

[37:47]plants where to water them because they're living so you get punished

[37:51]if you don't water them so subhanallah yes by the way this

[37:57]is an opinion there is another opinion that you don't have to

[37:58]do right right but i like the first opinion right i was

[38:04]like this is so beautiful you know when it comes to nature

[38:08]if you own nature animals was one thing okay but plants you

[38:13]know trees you have to take care of trees if you own

[38:16]them so all these rainforests are there burning down you know that's

[38:21]that's against islam according to this opinion that we're supposed to be

[38:27]taking care of these things if we own them it's

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