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Fiqh: Islamic Law | Rights of Marriage | Sayed Hussain Makke
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What are the rights of the wife and the husband in Islam, and in what context should they be understood?
What is the spiritual understanding behind these laws?
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[0:00]all these rights that islam has for man and woman before marriage
[0:04]is based on what a man is supposed to be and what
[0:08]a woman is supposed to be in islam we actually have gender
[0:14]roles which the world now wants to get rid of we have
[0:16]how a man must live his life and how a woman must
[0:19]live her life depending on the inner nature of that person yes
[0:23]the woman is made as the feminine and the man is made
[0:29]as the masculine and there is supposed to be some feminine in
[0:31]man and there's supposed to be some masculine in women but predominantly
[0:35]the woman is supposed to be feminine and the man is supposed
[0:39]to be masculine what do i mean by these two terms i
[0:41]will explain as we go on first of all we're speaking about
[0:43]marriage marriage as we know in islam we have a badat and
[0:48]muammar that we mentioned in focus remember that is your own with
[0:53]allah your worship fasting praying these things is buying and selling marriage
[1:01]is under muammalat because nikah because there's a contract between two people
[1:06]so in the beginning with islam focus wise that's why marriage is
[1:11]under in football underneath because it's between two people it's a contract
[1:14]you might think like what's going on is a man buying the
[1:20]woman here no this is a contract in its fifty terms islamic
[1:23]law is based on this and then there are all the laws
[1:28]all the rules and all the rights that the man and the
[1:30]woman would have the husband and the wife would have and then
[1:33]of course you want to learn how to be the most pious
[1:37]people and follow the tradition of rasulallah in that when it comes
[1:46]to marriage that are that seem pretty but a lot of the
[1:50]as well will be based on the seerah and the narrations of
[1:52]the mean which we need as well so we can get the
[1:56]full picture otherwise if you want to be like those people that
[1:58]look only to the fit and they say look at islam and
[2:02]how oppressive it is to women then this is what we call
[2:04]a fallacy like in monte carlo we mentioned the other day in
[2:07]logic someone's taken only part of the truth and they have told
[2:11]you look what islam is they have disregarded the aspect disregarded what
[2:17]the prophet says about women and how the prophet treated women and
[2:20]how the imams treated women and so they come and they say
[2:25]that look these are the two rights of man in a marriage
[2:27]which are controversial and this is why a woman is oppressed so
[2:32]first of all when the man is coming to marry the woman
[2:36]we look at what the right of the woman is in islam
[2:39]in a marriage after the contract is happening the man has to
[2:43]be the one who goes to the woman in islam it's not
[2:47]bad or disliked if the woman approaches the man but even if
[2:52]she did like khadijah approached rasulullah rasulullah is the one who has
[2:55]to go to her house she doesn't come to rasulullah's house rasulullah
[2:59]went to say that house with abu talib his uncle and his
[3:04]uncle gave a little speech you know the whole they did all
[3:08]of that they're supposed to do that that means even if the
[3:11]woman comes to approach the man she's the one that likes the
[3:13]man is the man that has to go to earth and at
[3:16]the time abu talib is one who paid the mahara right but
[3:19]rasulullah was poor and so people were like you know who's going
[3:21]to pay the maharan ali al-islam was only like 9 10 years
[3:25]old and he comes he's like abby he was five actually he
[3:29]was five years old and he comes and he says my that's
[3:30]going to pay the he's the one who just put his dead
[3:35]into the place so it's the man that must go to the
[3:40]woman that means the man is the one who has to chase
[3:45]in general the woman is supposed to be uh prized you know
[3:50]you might feel like this is objectification and it's okay you can
[3:57]say that but as uncle say as i want to sound wallah
[4:01]is she's seen as like someone that you have to earn their
[4:04]love and trust and relationship that's why we have something called means
[4:12]when someone is worth someone else that's in fear in fear the
[4:17]man cannot approach the woman unless he is her kufu so we
[4:21]don't agree in 50 times if there's a princess islamically and she
[4:26]can't get married to the piper unless she decides that you know
[4:31]i'll go down to your level but the princess cannot get married
[4:37]to the piper in general in the beginning if she is living
[4:40]a certain lifestyle with her parents when you come you're supposed to
[4:45]be able to sustain that lifestyle unless she allows you and says
[4:49]that it's okay i will unhappy i will come down it's okay
[4:54]don't worry so she's letting you off the hook if the girl
[5:00]has a servant in her home the husband must provide a servant
[5:04]because he has to let her live the same lifestyle that she
[5:08]lives in her family's house unless she comes and says it's okay
[5:11]i will do without a servant so ha ha and she won't
[5:15]she will allow you not to do that tell you these are
[5:19]all these are this is folk i'll tell you when i get
[5:21]into the spiritual aspect so far we're in phil which is very
[5:24]interesting why as i just mentioned how dry it can be how
[5:29]it's all about rules how it's all about not about what's with
[5:31]meaning necessarily but no when you start looking at the aqua based
[5:37]on the and the and then you see that the man has
[5:39]to be the one to chase and impress and talk to the
[5:44]parents and convince them and all of that then it comes down
[5:47]to her and she doesn't have to get married she doesn't want
[5:49]to even if her dad tells her you know get married she
[5:51]doesn't have to she's above nine years old she's uh she has
[5:56]william over herself as well as her father having way over they
[5:59]both have to agree so if he agrees and she doesn't they
[6:01]can't get married let's tell you if she allows both of these
[6:08]things and she lets him off the hook and even kaffa uh
[6:10]by the way that's why we say in the narrations and this
[6:14]is part of the side that you understand what kuffar means as
[6:19]well we say that says [Music] imam ali was not there she
[6:33]could never get married there was no one worth her so when
[6:37]you're going when there's someone coming and your father is looking at
[6:43]he's looking at is this person kufu or not and by the
[6:44]way if the person is not kofo and your father disagrees then
[6:48]it's his right to kuffu would mean as well that there's no
[6:50]one else around who is worth with the girl so this is
[6:54]the only person that comes this person comes along and he's saying
[6:57]i'm kufu and he's not kofo you can he can claim but
[7:02]the father may not see the kaffa in the person of course
[7:05]everyone has to have their evidences it's not just based on claims
[7:08]so is within fit it's used by the raja it's in the
[7:16]salah so it's something that is seen as a rule it's a
[7:19]rule and it's for the woman it's her right that she if
[7:23]she wants can allow the man to approach her even if he's
[7:27]not worthy of her in thickly terms what happens when they get
[7:32]married they have a contract and then there's maha that has to
[7:37]be paid right a dowry now it's always encouraged that the diary
[7:44]is not too high so that it doesn't place too much strain
[7:48]on the man but this is worship on the man to pay
[7:53]as an insurance policy for the woman why again the general of
[7:56]the man in islam is the protector and the worker outside of
[7:59]the home he is supposed to be the breadwinner and i'll get
[8:03]to that right now so the man has to the the main
[8:07]thing that he has to do with his wife once she's his
[8:13]wife is was he has to sustain her always sustain her financially
[8:25]with food with shelter with clothes with everything else that's worship on
[8:33]demand to do even if she's super rich even if she has
[8:36]millions of dollars it does not matter it's the man's job to
[8:41]get the house you have to own it but he has to
[8:43]at least provide a place in which she lives and it doesn't
[8:48]have to be with his parents it's her right for it not
[8:51]to be with his parents she deserves she has a right of
[8:55]her own space where she can live and food and shelter and
[8:59]clothes are all supposed to be provided for her she can work
[9:02]not work that's something else she has money or no money something
[9:09]else this is a man's job always the nafaka is the main
[9:12]right that the woman has this to sustain her financially once the
[9:16]marriage is done after the dowry has been paid whatever the diary
[9:20]is that they agree upon and these days i don't know they
[9:23]twenty thousand dollars people are saying thirty thousand fifty thousand i don't
[9:26]know some people just do a quran some people do a hajj
[9:28]some people do these kinds of things right although i do recommend
[9:32]that there be money and there's insurance policy for the woman so
[9:36]that nasa mahala if there's a divorce she has something to fall
[9:39]back on even though now you guys have fallen back on your
[9:43]degrees and everything else in in the olden times there weren't these
[9:46]things and the man was the one who was the main breadwinner
[9:49]and this is also why this is showing that this is based
[9:52]on the man being the bread winner but this does not change
[9:56]with the times this we know now that there are women that
[9:58]are out there and they're working but is still based on a
[10:02]man because the man stays a man and the woman stays a
[10:06]woman this is not about the change of times there are some
[10:07]things that are thrabbit and some things that are here some things
[10:12]change over time but the the do not change over time and
[10:16]it's a daruda for a woman to be a woman and a
[10:19]man to be a man there's a masculine nature to a man
[10:23]that he must have and a feminine nature to a woman that
[10:25]she must have in the islamic church in islam in the islamic
[10:31]ideology and the islamic world view which is why the man also
[10:36]receives double the sun received double the daughter and inheritance if you
[10:39]ask why does the boy receive double the woman inheritance that's the
[10:44]inheritance that's done without the wasa and the will of the parent
[10:46]so the parent can be like you know i want to give
[10:49]my door everything and whatever whatever is left over is divided and
[10:53]given double to the boy and a half to the girl one
[10:56]to the girl but aside from the wasa and the will of
[10:59]the parent if the parent dies without a will whatever is left
[11:04]over you get double for the son and only half of that
[11:08]for the woman because it's seen that the man has to pay
[11:11]for this and the man has to pay for this whereas what
[11:15]the woman receives is hers so even even if for example the
[11:19]wife she had some money from inheritance that's hers she doesn't have
[11:21]to give that to the relationship she can do whatever she wants
[11:26]with that her husband can't claim that but whatever the man receives
[11:31]as inheritance he has to spend some of that on his wife
[11:33]and he's seen as a breadwinner so this is why you can't
[11:38]divorce the islamic rulings from each other when you come and you
[11:41]say look at inheritance laws they're so oppressive we're like wait you
[11:44]have to look at the entire landscape first because we see that
[11:48]it's worship on the man to pay for everything it's not worship
[11:51]on the woman and where's my man to pay for everything with
[11:54]his wife not on the woman so he needs more help so
[11:58]he gets that from inheritance so then it comes as a world
[12:03]view if you will and it's based all of this is based
[12:05]on happiness of the human being that's what it's based on so
[12:08]if you ask why all of this like before everything else and
[12:11]allah loves it doesn't love it allah loves for you to be
[12:15]happy so he sets out a way for you to be happy
[12:16]and he says for you to be happy to enjoy your life
[12:20]this is the framework by which you must work in and this
[12:24]is how families are made this helps the structure of the family
[12:28]which creates society when you destroy the gender role then the family
[12:35]breaks down so you have two men adopting a kid that doesn't
[12:38]know what's going on anymore then he wants to marry another man
[12:40]and then the society itself falls over and breaks apart and no
[12:45]one knows themselves anymore and then you fall into an identity crisis
[12:48]not even on a personal level but you don't even know your
[12:51]gender is anymore so you don't know what you're supposed to do
[12:54]anymore you don't know he's supposed to be and then you have
[12:58]people that want to be crocodiles now and reptiles and tattoos so
[13:00]it's all over the place whereas allah says wait there's a way
[13:05]by which to do this that you have a happy family and
[13:09]there's a happy father and a happy mother and by the way
[13:12]this is how you attract each other biologically speaking a man from
[13:18]what i usually understand of men are not attracted to the woman
[13:21]that's walking around and telling everyone what to do and has a
[13:25]stern voice and she's the one who makes the orders the man
[13:29]doesn't like that biologically speaking and the woman doesn't like you guys
[13:36]know that you don't like that when you when the man is
[13:39]like this always as much as you say woman's right woman's rights
[13:42]and everything else when the man is like that you don't like
[13:45]it you want to be sometimes you know the man is there
[13:47]he's protecting you and you know as much as you want to
[13:51]say objectification this is what you're attracted to now yes there may
[13:54]be individuals that are not attracted to these things anymore and i
[13:57]don't blame you because of everything that you're drilling into your heads
[14:00]with netflix and everywhere else now every show on netflix has someone
[14:05]who is you know different it's everywhere so then about why i
[14:11]said like am i on their side because all the good guys
[14:15]are like that now right so it confuses you so this is
[14:19]something that we have to be aware of [Music] i have until
[14:30]seven it's okay just six seven okay so this is the right
[14:37]of the woman of the wife in marriage of course men and
[14:43]women have different rights several rights but this is the right and
[14:46]islamic law in marriage and there are some muslim this is what's
[14:49]worship what's interesting again and this isn't and it's mustahab okay is
[14:55]like if you find it in state sustain why i find it
[15:00]so interesting because it's a hokum when i find things like this
[15:02]that are i come i get so interested and so happy because
[15:05]i'm like this is not even just an akhtar this was seen
[15:08]as something important enough to make into a hakum and so someone
[15:12]can see it someone who doesn't know about not divorcing the two
[15:14]for example part of the luck of the wife here is she
[15:17]can't just come and say to the husband hey like give me
[15:20]what i want right now give me you owe me no like
[15:23]that's not how we deal with the husband right you know he's
[15:26]having hard times it's okay i'm patient with you like i said
[15:30]it's your right to have a servant but maybe you can't afford
[15:32]it it's out of the luck of the woman to live a
[15:36]life where her husband can handle it you see this is where
[15:41]the heart comes in so the right of the woman was there
[15:43]but then the luck is you know if you can't handle it
[15:45]i support you right now you know what you don't have money
[15:49]maybe i can help you out i'm working like that would be
[15:51]down to her and her whatever she wants right and usually in
[15:55]a happy marriage that's expected in a happy marriage where you two
[15:58]sacrifice for each other and you help each other it's expected that
[16:02]you know there are some rights that you don't have to exercise
[16:05]if you want to exercise those rights it becomes very unhappy if
[16:09]she wants to exercise these rights he's going to exercise his and
[16:12]it becomes a very unhappy marriage once you see what the rights
[16:15]of the husband are however when it comes to then you have
[16:20]mawedha as the quran describes the relationship between man and woman this
[16:24]love between man and woman they become best friends and they become
[16:27]partners on the path to allah they really do because then she
[16:33]teaches him femininity and he teaches her masculinity and that's the way
[16:37]you know allah because allah's names are divided into masculine feminine and
[16:42]that comes more into the advantage we can talk about as well
[16:45]what i find very interesting in the part is they say on
[16:52]the night of the wedding it's mustahab as a hokum to take
[16:59]the wife to the house and then the man has to clean
[17:01]the house water with over the floors and then he brings his
[17:07]wife's feet and he washes her feet and then he puts his
[17:09]hand on her forehead and he recites a dua and then they
[17:13]say the marriage is supposed to be consummated there and look how
[17:17]it is it's seen as something very spiritual and actually the dua
[17:21]is the imams and generations they recommend times in which to dua
[17:26]one of those times when man and woman husband and wife are
[17:30]together when they sleep together in that time dua is recommended or
[17:33]speaking to allah and someone think what yes because it's supposed to
[17:39]be a spiritual experience the world again the modern world has made
[17:42]it very dirty and people get addicted to the wrong things and
[17:48]very objectifying and islam is not that and islam is actually one
[17:52]of the forms people often when i say this it's one of
[17:55]the greatest forms to know allah you can cry in those moments
[18:03]you really you elevate if you do this properly they're showing an
[18:08]introduction to this when we say allah's names are divided into jamal
[18:14]and jalal right this is majesty this is jamal is beauty and
[18:26]this is majesty and this is the masculine and this is the
[18:33]feminine allah is here these names are not allah because obviously these
[18:46]words and the reality of allah we can only point to it
[18:48]someone give me a name of allah all right good nice ones
[18:57]so here on japan over here the forceful one it's a scary
[19:04]name you should only use this name in times of great hardship
[19:07]rahman is here can you see the pattern this is supposed to
[19:36]be feminine and it's supposed to be masculine allah's names are divided
[19:41]in this way and the woman is a manifestation of this and
[19:44]the man is a manifestation of this and we will know this
[19:49]deep down but we don't want to admit because when your mom
[19:52]calls you when you're far away and she says habibi are you
[19:55]okay what are you eating where are you sleeping are you cold
[19:59]are you warm and that calls you airbrush your heart right we
[20:03]all know that we love for this stereotype but we know it
[20:08]and it's true our biology tells us this and it's true i
[20:10]remember there was one girl that was telling me no it's not
[20:13]this way no it's not this way who said the woman has
[20:16]to be this way and at my engagement she was invited and
[20:18]then i gave a little speech and she started crying she was
[20:21]one with that cried and i said wait oh why are you
[20:23]crying does this woman think you're like don't start now it's all
[20:26]the place so but i'm just saying right and i couldn't help
[20:32]myself but but this is real we know this so what does
[20:35]that mean how do we know allah only when you have both
[20:38]so marriage marriage is the joining of both and then what happens
[20:46]when you guy when what [Music] and when the husband and wife
[20:59]consummate their marriage that is knowing allah that is one of the
[21:05]actions that you can do and i know that feels very foreign
[21:10]to your minds but it's the truth and dua is recommended in
[21:15]those times and really it's it's incredible and the imams talk about
[21:18]how this is the greatest pleasure that a human being can feel
[21:20]this is all from marriage so we went from fifth right trying
[21:24]to understand the thick of it to this for you then you
[21:29]look why can't then we not agree with two men marrying each
[21:33]other if you have one time one time a lesbian muslim sister
[21:53]came to me and she was asking me why don't we agree
[21:56]with it and i said look as muslims what's the aim the
[21:59]aim is to know allah that's my aim as a human being
[22:02]that's my aim i get married to know allah for you the
[22:07]institution of marriage needs both jamal and jalal that's how i know
[22:12]allah if it's jalal plus jalal and i cannot know allah if
[22:19]it's jamal plus jamal i cannot know allah half of the names
[22:24]are missing from this relationship and even though she's a lesbian she's
[22:27]like you know that makes sense and this is of course the
[22:31]philosophical way of explaining it the spiritual way of explaining it in
[22:34]the hakkon it will be like this haram and whoever does it
[22:38]this this this but in the spiritual explaining it is you can't
[22:41]know allah in that way you need your other half to know
[22:47]allah because that's your purpose so you need the inner nature of
[22:51]both you need them and you teach them to each other for
[22:55]you and that could of course only happen through the as well
[22:58]as the hakon the hokum do you see is the foundation of
[23:02]the relationship the rights the contract all of those things however the
[23:07]lack of the relationship is based on those two people and what
[23:11]they allow each other when they don't allow each other how they're
[23:13]taking easy on each other how they help each other how they
[23:16]sacrifice their own rights for each other so that they may have
[23:20]a happy marriage at the same time though it's important to live
[23:23]according to the account because you still want to be in line
[23:27]with what allah has in store for the woman and the man
[23:31]in their marriage so it can't always be about you know it's
[23:33]the flock of the husband to allow me or the clock of
[23:36]the woman to say you know like i'll let you go you
[23:39]have to get me the snow because as a man this is
[23:40]expected of you she might allow you this month but you have
[23:44]to get your working boots on man because you can't keep allowing
[23:45]your wife to because then she's going to stop seeing you as
[23:50]a man if she keeps disregarding her rights she will lose respect
[23:55]for the man but it's okay to help him in the beginning
[23:59]to get you know or hard times now we go into the
[24:05]rough part because this is where this is where the problems arise
[24:08]from you know when we just take it too far everything has
[24:10]to be balanced we'll take it too far and we start saying
[24:14]that everything is disregarded disregard it and there's stops being an islamic
[24:16]marriage you still have to try to adhere to these things it's
[24:19]a poor what do i mean by this let me explain now
[24:22]now that you have the background right so here is the first
[24:28]first right of the husband is tempin which means that whenever the
[24:35]husband wants to sleep with his wife she has to sleep with
[24:38]him that's the first one and the second one is it's um
[24:56]she has to have his permission to leave the home these are
[25:00]the two rights of the husband this is what all the controversy
[25:06]is over when it comes to marriage in islam like what is
[25:08]this you know they have marital rape they have the issue of
[25:13]well you can just lock her up of course there are ways
[25:15]in which this doesn't occur like when someone is oppressing they're always
[25:19]out of those when someone when the husband is oppressing or hitting
[25:23]her or anything else which is haram by the way yes ask
[25:48]if he says you have to ask you see so for example
[25:51]i'm staying at my friend's house right now he's not home before
[25:54]he left he's like uh just do whatever you want and just
[25:57]left if i see some food that's not my food that's in
[26:03]islam i'm not going to call him every single time i want
[26:06]a chocolate bar right because it's almost as if it's a shot
[26:09]of domini it's like you know that when this person accepts you
[26:12]into their home this is why focus is like seeing is so
[26:15]interesting because it goes into your right to ask that question that's
[26:17]how it operates sometimes i think that seems so obvious but they
[26:21]explain them in the 50 terms okay it's very robotic but that's
[26:24]not how people are supposed to be you're not supposed to be
[26:28]a person who moves as a robot okay but you're supposed to
[26:32]get these things cleared up because sometimes yes it's important to go
[26:36]by the rules so for example um when you go when you
[26:38]and your husband have an understanding and you guys have had this
[26:42]conversation that's how communication is important and he says you can leave
[26:45]the house whenever you want except i don't want to go to
[26:47]this place for example or be home by this time that becomes
[26:49]worship on you to be home by that time you know he
[26:52]doesn't want you out at night that's his right or if not
[26:55]like you for example the girl wants to go the woman wants
[26:58]to work by the way in the contract she can stipulate that
[27:01]i want to work i want to continue my work so that
[27:04]he can't say you have to stay home that's allowed in the
[27:08]country so the contract you see where you before you go into
[27:11]anything just so that hey you can't change your mind now because
[27:13]it's focus because the hokum now maybe i don't trust you maybe
[27:18]you're maybe you're looking really nice and mickey mouse to me right
[27:22]now but maybe you're going to change afterwards so i want to
[27:24]protect myself with the focus and i want to bind you to
[27:28]allah so you have to promise allah not me that you're not
[27:30]going to oppress me for example and tell me that i have
[27:32]to leave my work after we get married for example and i
[27:35]want to say oppressed because she might take it as oppression otherwise
[27:38]islam does not see that as oppression so this is a shock
[27:44]that in the contract you can stipulate this thing okay which is
[27:47]why you should be wise in the beginning always have this discussion
[27:51]with your parents don't be shy it's very important because you won't
[27:54]have a contract once and there are people 20 30 years later
[27:56]they regret not putting a certain conditional contract that man can also
[28:00]put a condition you yes between them and allah but the problem
[28:12]with that would be that if they disagree on it how can
[28:17]they prove anything they'll go to the the or the judge because
[28:19]they go to a hakama and they'll be like okay bring the
[28:21]evidence i don't have evidence i can't help you so you can't
[28:25]by the same time what did i say that we have to
[28:28]be able to as much as we can adhere to these rights
[28:31]because they're there for a reason that allah has put them there
[28:34]in that way because he says this is what the man expects
[28:37]to make him happy and this is what a woman expects to
[28:40]make it happen it doesn't mean that woman is a gold digger
[28:42]and a man is an addict does it mean that but we
[28:45]know men okay and we know women and there's a reason why
[28:48]even in western stereotypes they have these things they have these things
[28:51]but we're not saying that this is what they're supposed to be
[28:54]but allah is saying for the marriage to work this is what
[28:57]it has to be based on okay so for example with this
[29:00]it's very unwise for a man to just order unwise and if
[29:06]you look at the narrations and how the imams and the prophets
[29:10]speak about this they say that you shouldn't just go you know
[29:15]do what you want and then leave there has to be an
[29:20]introduction and she has to receive pleasure from it and it has
[29:22]to be for both of you because if you want to just
[29:25]be based on this you'd think it's a man's thing and halas
[29:27]when it's not and you'd be surprised 80 i would say of
[29:33]the marriage problems that i get and that my teachers get are
[29:34]based on this and as soon as they fix this you'd be
[29:39]so surprised how well the marriage goes well it doesn't mean we're
[29:42]dirty creatures or anything like that this is this is a veriza
[29:47]and if you can't be like this with your own partner and
[29:49]then you have to hold yourself when it comes to the rest
[29:51]of the world how are you going to live how are you
[29:53]gonna be happy how are you gonna get to allah you can't
[29:55]then you're gonna get addicted to things on the internet and you're
[29:58]gonna look in places where you shouldn't look right so this is
[30:01]why this is why this is why it's important by the way
[30:04]if you take this this lettuce usually in the way they give
[30:08]this dennis it's not going to have all these different reasons as
[30:10]to what i introduced we just take it but the reason why
[30:17]i'm explaining every little thing is that you can see the the
[30:21]world view is being formed in the structure and and i really
[30:23]want you to challenge me if you disagree that's how we're going
[30:27]to grow if you disagree with any of this it's okay don't
[30:30]feel intimidated or anything else like i said it's me and you
[30:33]versus the problem we're trying to find a way in solution so
[30:36]if there is an issue please be my guest to talk about
[30:39]it but this is overall the the rights if you will of
[30:48]the husband and the wife means the way in which you know
[30:53]the way in which a husband is supposed to treat a woman
[30:55]you're not supposed to say you can't go visit the family you
[30:57]can't go visit mum and dad so that may come under the
[31:00]adam for then she can have that and go and visit her
[31:05]mum and dad for example okay there's loads of ways in which
[31:09]he describes this people always ask the same kind of questions um
[31:43][Music] they have to respect each other and discuss all the other
[31:51]issues i don't want you to wear high heels but i like
[31:52]high heels well you have to discuss this between each other by
[31:57]the same time when the woman for example is going out with
[32:02]xena she's you know wants to go out without a head scarf
[32:04]for example or anything else she must put makeup or anything else
[32:07]the in terms the angels the honorations that the angels are doing
[32:16]lan not on her guess on who and her husband because you
[32:19]know what the angels are saying you're not a real man basically
[32:21]you can't you know she doesn't listen to you you can't do
[32:26]anything which is which means there's encouragement for the husband to help
[32:28]her on this path it isn't everyone's on different levels right everyone's
[32:32]a different level so you can't you can't think that everyone's on
[32:36]the same level maybe someone's wearing a scarf they want to wear
[32:38]a scarf maybe someone's wearing scarf but they wear tight clothes maybe
[32:41]someone doesn't wear tight clothes but they wear makeup okay whatever level
[32:44]the wife is on for example the husband can help her yes
[32:53]if she doesn't listen yeah she can just not listen and then
[33:00]her of course this is you see the angel is still doing
[33:07]on the man so he has to get divorced asap really if
[33:09]she's not listening then you have to divorce her there's no other
[33:13]way around it otherwise it's going to be in everything with your
[33:15]kids with everything else i know people don't don't want to agree
[33:18]to that but for me for me in my life this would
[33:22]be the case straight away straight away you know i wouldn't even
[33:27]wait think twice which is why inshallah will never happen yes sir
[33:36]if but still this would be between him and allah a wife
[33:54]like this is a huge test you know if she's making trouble
[33:59]for the man in this way his reputation his children everything else
[34:03]will be lost the woman is the center of the family so
[34:05]that's why she's the target right now as soon as the woman
[34:11]is um her mind is changed on what she's supposed to be
[34:14]in life the husband can't do anything neither can the kids and
[34:17]then the whole ideology of a religion because it's not only islam
[34:21]is going through this catholic christians are also going through this the
[34:25]tradition traditionalist religions and people of religion over the last thousands of
[34:28]years in the way in which society has been run is this
[34:32]way so what's happening right now in the last 50 60 years
[34:35]is very new it's uh subhanallah rasulullah said it's going to happen
[34:39]he told his companions shall i tell you of a day in
[34:41]which good becomes bad and bad becomes good and they're like it's
[34:47]just going to happen rasulullah he's like no even more you shall
[34:48]tell you of when and he keeps going and going when you
[34:52]read this narration right now inshallah i'll get it for you next
[34:55]week you're astounded because it's all happening right now and this is
[34:58]this is this has to be what's happening right now we're in
[35:01]the beginning of it we're in the beginning of it and that
[35:03]soon as the prophet said islam came as a stranger it's going
[35:07]to leave as a stranger so bless be the strangers and those
[35:09]who want to hold on to their religion at the end of
[35:12]times it's like holding onto hot coal you cannot keep holding on
[35:16]to it however when we come towards this type of knowledge because
[35:20]i i don't expect honestly everyone here to have accepted everything that
[35:23]i just mentioned and i don't want you to i want you
[35:25]to be challenged and think this over and i want you to
[35:27]ask your questions that's the only way that these things are going
[35:30]to grow with you that's the only way so when you come
[35:33]to these things with maturity and you think it through because this
[35:36]makes you think about society it's not just about one person you
[35:40]start thinking society and families and life and the mission of a
[35:44]human being what it's supposed to be you have to start from
[35:46]there because if you don't start from knowing allah then everything else
[35:49]doesn't make sense it starts from knowing allah and how do we
[35:53]know him these are the ways and and there is certain behavior
[35:57]that we must adhere to et cetera et cetera and you have
[35:59]to come with an open heart and open mind and humility i
[36:02]keep saying humility sincerity and patience because it takes a lot of
[36:05]time and you have to be humble because there are some things
[36:07]that you don't get and you have to be so sincere because
[36:10]you would want the truth not only to disprove people that when
[36:13]someone someone shows you evidence you change your mind it's not about
[36:17]your ego for example oh by the way there's just one thing
[36:19]that i wanted to mention i didn't mention i'm going to get
[36:20]to history right after this okay you know how he said something
[36:25]so interesting that i found out i just recently found this out
[36:27]and that's why i want to share it with you there's also
[36:29]there are different forms of us there's nothing so your parents or
[36:37]your children so if your parent is poor or your child is
[36:40]poor it's weird on you to take care of them you know
[36:44]as long as they need and the third one is if there's
[36:50]something that you own that is living it's worship on you to
[36:53]give nafaka to it to sustain it financially that means animals if
[36:57]you have pets they have a right on you in fifty terms
[37:04]the the cat the dog tylenol right it's not haram but it
[37:08]causes a lot of najasa problems the dog or anything else if
[37:12]you have cattle or anything else either you must you know slaughter
[37:16]them to feed people or you must take care of them if
[37:19]you don't it's haram and this was written in which book i
[37:25]found this in a 700 year old book from you know so
[37:31]shaheed then writes which i found so amazing is nature and your
[37:41]plants you it's wise you take care of your plants and trees
[37:45]if you own them if you have a backyard and you have
[37:47]plants where to water them because they're living so you get punished
[37:51]if you don't water them so subhanallah yes by the way this
[37:57]is an opinion there is another opinion that you don't have to
[37:58]do right right but i like the first opinion right i was
[38:04]like this is so beautiful you know when it comes to nature
[38:08]if you own nature animals was one thing okay but plants you
[38:13]know trees you have to take care of trees if you own
[38:16]them so all these rainforests are there burning down you know that's
[38:21]that's against islam according to this opinion that we're supposed to be
[38:27]taking care of these things if we own them it's
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