Volgende
4 Bekeken · 24/09/03
1 Bekeken · 24/09/04
4 Bekeken · 15/12/03
0 Bekeken · 24/07/16
Choosing The Right Friends - Hajj Hussein Charara
0
0
3 Bekeken·
21/10/09
Follow Muslim Youth Connection on social media: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/mycmedia Facebook https://www.facebook.com/muslimyouthconnection Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mycmedia Twitter https://twitter.com/_mycmedia _____________________________________________________________ Website: http://www.myconline.org Donate via PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=YjcrKU8qzkt2CrqE_MN7xHQE_gwJ_HFRWQ-wcz_-sTxIxSCGeO_W2Or83dnB3zLJHu4Odm&country.x=US&locale.x=US
Laat meer zien
Transcript
[0:00]I'm um the co-founder of Wise Academy.
[0:05]It's a school.
[0:05]We have a school.
[0:06]We have another school in Orlando.
[0:08]We have a camp.
[0:08]We have the only Muslim owned camp in the country.
[0:12]Uh I'm also an Islamic teacher and background in CBT, cognitive behavioral
[0:19]therapy.
[0:21]Just changing people's thoughts, you change people's lives.
[0:26]And I also believe in possibility.
[0:27]So I deal with issues in the community from addiction to marriages
[0:33]to people having all types of feelings and I'm just fascinated by
[0:39]success and our own each and individual human possibility.
[0:43]The way we worship Allah as if there's many gods cuz one
[0:48]day we pray, one day we may stop.
[0:51]One day we might have a good friend, the next day we
[0:54]go to the bad friend.
[0:56]One day we're good with our parents, the next day maybe not
[1:00]as much.
[1:01]But the way Allah treats us as if he's we are the
[1:03]only creation.
[1:05]That's how focused he is on us.
[1:07]And to prove it, you have 10 million cells right now being
[1:13]created in your body every second.
[1:16]And every second you have 10 million cells being destroyed.
[1:22]You have 25 trillion cells in your body.
[1:24]And each one of those cells, every breath you take, that breath
[1:27]of oxygen goes to each cell.
[1:30]You have blood flowing through your heart through vessels 60,000 miles where
[1:35]you could wrap, you take the vessels out of your body, you
[1:41]could wrap it around the earth three times.
[1:44]Who's doing that for you?
[1:48]When you hit a cut on your hand, who's healing you?
[1:52]Is it yourself thinking about it or is there a greater intelligence
[1:55]at play when you get a bone broken?
[1:58]Who's healing that bone when the cast is put together?
[2:02]You just blinked your eyes.
[2:04]Imagine if you had to be reminded to blink by your friend
[2:10]or you had to remind you'd go insane.
[2:14]Isn't that love?
[2:14]Isn't it?
[2:16]That's love.
[2:18]God has created you out of his infinite mercy and out of
[2:21]love.
[2:22]And if you can't be grateful for that, it's impossible to be
[2:28]grateful for anything else.
[2:30]For that's what causes us to go away from Allah.
[2:34]And that's what I'm a big believer on when I meet people
[2:38]and I'll share some stories.
[2:40]You know, just recently I was at with Haj Hassan at AB's
[2:43]amazing ribs where four years ago I met somebody and he had
[2:49]a gift.
[2:51]His gift was in videography.
[2:52]So the first question I asked him, I said, "How much money
[2:55]do you make?" He told me and I said, "I bet you
[3:01]your friends make the same amount of money." He's like, "Yeah, they're
[3:05]broke like me." So can you remove a few of them?
[3:07]can you do a few other things?
[3:11]And I said, you have a very unique gift, but I don't
[3:12]want to see you again until you have at least a half
[3:16]a million dollars in your bank account.
[3:18]Then you could talk about how you want to help the orphans
[3:20]in Iraq cuz he's Iraqi.
[3:22]So we're four years later, we're at the restaurant and he were
[3:29]eating with him and I forgot I gave him this advice and
[3:31]he said exactly what you told me.
[3:34]And he pulled out his phone.
[3:36]and he said, "Okay, now what?
[3:37]I have a half a million." That's possibility.
[3:41]When a student comes to me and they're getting straight E where
[3:45]I lot I have a lot of family members that work in
[3:51]the public schools.
[3:49]So, I get referred a lot and when they go from missing
[3:53]assignments, 150 missing assignments to getting kicked out of school and you
[3:58]give them one piece of advice and then 30 days later they
[4:03]go from getting kicked out to being on the honor roll.
[4:05]How does that happen?
[4:09]That's possibility.
[4:09]And that's where we're at.
[4:12]And when you look at your friends, cuz if you show me
[4:14]who your friends are, I'll show you who you are.
[4:17]If you hang out with nine broke people, you're the 10th.
[4:21]If you read the Holy Quran, Allah says there's a person, a
[4:28]personality, they didn't mention by name, but he's biting his hands on
[4:32]the day of judgment.
[4:32]And he's mad and he's saying it in surah furan.
[4:36]He's saying, "Oh my god, if I just would have taken the
[4:40]prophet as my friend." Cuz the first day he met the prophet,
[4:42]he took him as his friend.
[4:45]He got rid of the idols.
[4:46]That's us.
[4:47]We meet something, we do something that's positive.
[4:50]But then the next day, he went back to his bad friends
[4:53]said, "Worship the idols or else we're going to leave you." And
[4:58]because he couldn't think greater than the way he feels, he got
[5:01]scared to lose a friend.
[5:02]And he died in the battle fighting the prophet.
[5:06]And in the day of judgment, he feels so much regret, so
[5:10]much remorse.
[5:11]And that's us.
[5:14]If we can't make decisions, if all your friends are talking about
[5:18]indecent things, gossiping, then that's who you are.
[5:22]And if you think you're any different, you're lying to yourself.
[5:25]And if you think it doesn't have an effect on you, you're
[5:29]lying to yourself.
[5:29]They've done a crossword puzzle, just a cross word puzzle of unscrabling
[5:35]negative words.
[5:37]Then they had another group positive words.
[5:40]Then they told him, "Go and do this next task." But there's
[5:47]a person waiting.
[5:47]The person waiting was on a clipboard and he was to not
[5:53]be disturbed.
[5:54]And they wanted to see how long would those people be patient.
[5:57]Guess what?
[5:59]The people with positive words, 6 minutes.
[6:03]The people with negative words, 2 minutes.
[6:07]Hello, I'm here.
[6:07]Why aren't you?
[6:09]And if you told those people that that cross word puzzle has
[6:13]a negative impact, they all would have said no.
[6:16]The same way we tell people, you know that music you listen
[6:18]to that talks about the negative things that has an impact.
[6:23]They say no, it doesn't impact me.
[6:24]Do you know those friends that you hang out that are talking?
[6:27]Look in Dearbornne High forts in Crestwood.
[6:30]Look, my first cousin is the principal of Fortson.
[6:34]My other first cousin is the vice principal of Dearborn High.
[6:36]My other second cousin was the counselor at Crestwood.
[6:40]What's the conversations?
[6:43]How many of them date?
[6:46]Majority.
[6:47]How many of the men talk about the woman?
[6:48]Majority.
[6:49]What kind of friends?
[6:52]How many of them stay away?
[6:53]Majority can't.
[6:54]The pressure.
[6:55]So then I tell you, brothers and sisters, if you have a
[7:00]type of friend, think about it, that comes to you and says,
[7:02]"I want to talk to you.
[7:05]I like you.
[7:07]Who loves that individual the most?
[7:10]Who's that individual's best friend?
[7:16]His mom, isn't it?
[7:17]Is he talking to that individual, to that girl or boy behind
[7:23]his mom's back?
[7:25]Yes or no?
[7:25]Majority.
[7:27]Yes.
[7:28]Yes.
[7:29]They're not going to their mom.
[7:29]Ma, guess what?
[7:32]I got a date.
[7:33]They're doing it behind their mom's back.
[7:35]The girl didn't click in her head that that's a flag.
[7:40]That's a bad friend.
[7:40]Why?
[7:41]Cuz if he's willing to speak to you behind his mom's back
[7:46]who every day at 2:00 in the morning used to feed him
[7:50]and change his diaper and he's willing to betray her trust, you
[7:54]don't think he'll betray you?
[7:55]And we paint a picture because we feel all bubbly and then
[7:59]heartbreak follows.
[8:00]So, I do a lot of counseling of heartbreak cuz if you
[8:03]don't think that person's going to break your heart after he broke
[8:08]his mother's heart, you're lying to yourself.
[8:10]Don't get in those relationships.
[8:13]If you're about to tell your mom, I was with my wife
[8:15]at a restaurant.
[8:17]I see a I'm an intuitive counselor.
[8:19]I see a sister.
[8:20]It's very sad.
[8:22]the waitress.
[8:24]I told my wife, I bet you she just went through a
[8:26]breakup and she didn't tell her father.
[8:29]Sometimes you may like counseling I do.
[8:31]I said, "You're having an affair.
[8:34]You don't have to tell me, but if you're here to really
[8:37]get help or somebody would call me, my person I was supposed
[8:42]to marry just broke up with me.
[8:43]I bet you he has a bad friend who's got his ear.
[8:48]How did you know?" So my wife looks at this waitress and
[8:51]says, "Please don't ask her." I couldn't help it.
[8:56]I said, "Look, I have a question.
[8:58]My background is in behavioral science.
[8:59]Did you just go through a breakup?" She started to tear.
[9:05]Said, "How did you know?" I said, "Did you keep it from
[9:09]your father?" Said, "Yeah." I said, "That's why that man took advantage
[9:11]of you, cuz he knew nobody's there to protect you.
[9:16]That's why he wanted to keep you a secret for no other
[9:19]reason.
[9:18]I said, "My advice to you is go tell your father and
[9:22]allow yourself to be vulnerable because if you can't trust your parents
[9:26]with this information, there's nobody and you're going to be treated like
[9:30]an orphan and be taken advantage of.
[9:32]Why?
[9:33]You're not orphans.
[9:34]Go to your parents for protection." We see her one month later.
[9:39]She tried to give me a hug.
[9:41]She said, "You have no idea the relationship." So what do I
[9:46]do whenever somebody says I have a bad friend or I'm in
[9:48]a bad rel I give him a relationship test there's a sister
[9:51]who came in recently said oh you have this friend I said
[9:55]okay communication and openness between a zero and a six one six
[10:02]being good resolving conflicts one overall satisfaction one I said okay he's
[10:09]perfect for you said why you're a one too that's what you
[10:14]deserve to Every time you see him, you're a one.
[10:17]Just remind yourself that you're attracted that.
[10:20]I said, "What's your relationship with your father?" "Oh, it's horrible, but
[10:23]I'm not leaving him for anything.
[10:26]Don't ask me to leave this friend that I like a lot."
[10:29]Two weeks go by.
[10:31]She says, "Guess what?" And she came as a new person.
[10:35]She said, "Every time I saw him, I saw him as a
[10:36]one and I realized I deserve better.
[10:41]And I went to my father and her life changed.
[10:42]that person who had missing assignments said I'm going to invest in
[10:46]you.
[10:46]I know a person who inshallah his business will be worth a
[10:52]billion dollars.
[10:50]He's really good in it.
[10:53]He really understands the cyber security world and he's lives in DC.
[10:58]So he went from being kicked out of school to getting advice
[11:03]from somebody like that.
[11:04]That's possibility.
[11:05]But he had to change in order for his reality to change.
[11:10]There was a person in fortune.
[11:12]He had a full ride scholarship.
[11:14]Full ride football scholarship.
[11:19]A friend told him, "Hey, guess what?
[11:21]Come and rob this place that I work at.
[11:25]Wear a mask.
[11:27]I'll give you the money.
[11:27]We'll take half the money." He listened to his friend just like
[11:34]some of us listen to our friends when we do bad things.
[11:37]It'll start off small, right?
[11:38]Because your friends are here.
[11:42]If you try to elevate, they have two choices.
[11:45]They change, which is hard, or they do what?
[11:51]Bring you down.
[11:50]It's so much easier just to bring you down.
[11:54]And most times we're brought down.
[11:55]He told his friend, "Sure, I'll go." He goes, "Somebody's witnessing this
[12:02]theft from outside and across the street are the police." Right when
[12:06]he leaves, the police are right there in Ketchum.
[12:09]He's serving 10 years in prison, bad friend.
[12:14]That's possibility in the bad things.
[12:16]That's Shayan.
[12:17]And every day we have those challenges and sometimes we could be
[12:22]our own worst enemy.
[12:25]So the opening question that I have is what are four characteristics
[12:29]that you could look at somebody and truly call them a friend
[12:35]that when you talk to them they're not telling somebody else about
[12:39]your secrets that you're going through?
[12:41]Who could name one?
[12:42]What's one characteristic you could trust in a friend?
[12:47]Loyalty.
[12:47]Loyalty.
[12:49]What else?
[12:52]Yes.
[12:55]Say you gota It's because of the noise of the traffic.
[12:59]You got to scream it.
[12:59]Trust.
[13:00]Loyalty.
[13:01]We'll see.
[13:02]We'll just go four.
[13:02]We'll see if you get the four.
[13:04]Yes.
[13:05]Huh?
[13:06]Kindness.
[13:07]What's the fourth?
[13:11]There for you in a time of need.
[13:15]So, the prophetam says there's four.
[13:16]A friend that knows your needs.
[13:18]Do you have friends that only care about sports the next day?
[13:24]What's going on in the world?
[13:27]When's the last time your friend said, "What are your needs?" Ask
[13:31]yourself, cuz if you're not in a circle of friends that are
[13:36]only talking about themselves, there's some friends in this community, everybody's trying
[13:41]to get married, right?
[13:41]Their friends who are single find out that this sister is trying
[13:44]to get married.
[13:45]what they'll do, they'll try to break it up out of jealousy
[13:47]and then later we find out that they were then trying to
[13:52]go marry that individual.
[13:53]That happens.
[13:54]So, you have to now be careful who you sharing information with,
[13:59]right?
[14:00]I have a cousin of mine, he sold his IT company for
[14:05]500 million.
[14:06]He said, "The way I did it, I was very secretive of
[14:08]what I was doing.
[14:11]Nobody knew cuz I know nobody could live at that level." Some
[14:14]of us are taking advice from people that got $5 in their
[14:19]pocket and asking them about success.
[14:21]Don't do that.
[14:22]Find people who are very successful.
[14:27]So the fourth characteristic is knowing asking you for your needs.
[14:32]What are they?
[14:32]Knowing what your needs are, helping you being able to help you
[14:38]with those needs.
[14:38]Because sometimes our friends tell us, "Okay, what's your problem?
[14:40]Oh, I'm sorry." But then they don't offer any help.
[14:44]Be careful.
[14:46]A true friend, if they can't help you, they'll find somebody.
[14:49]A true friend is not somebody who's miserly.
[14:52]What does that mean?
[14:55]If you're in a group of friends and they're talking, gossiping about
[15:00]other people and you're choosing to stay their friend, wall, I'm telling
[15:04]you, they will do the same thing with you one day.
[15:08]If you're at a friend, even at a at a restaurant, and
[15:12]they're talking about how bad this food is and this waitress and
[15:16]they're looking at people as second class, run.
[15:19]Cuz I promise you, they're going to treat you the same way.
[15:24]So, knowing what your needs are, asking you what your needs are,
[15:30]don't be miserly.
[15:29]Somebody who's merciful and kind, not friends that are just mean.
[15:37]You ever have friends?
[15:38]There's ever hear of energy vampires.
[15:40]You meet somebody and after you hang up with you're just exhausted.
[15:46]I see some nods.
[15:49]Those are the type of people you don't ask how their day
[15:54]is.
[15:52]You don't want to know.
[15:55]You know when I meet I do I we meet a lot
[15:58]of people.
[15:59]I do some programs for adults every Wednesday and I sense them.
[16:04]You know what I tell them?
[16:05]send me an email of your problems cuz I don't cuz you
[16:10]help them.
[16:11]They're not looking for help.
[16:13]They're looking for somebody to dump their garbage on.
[16:14]You know, all these years I've been doing it since 2007, no
[16:21]energy vampires ever emailed me.
[16:23]You're not going to be able to help them.
[16:24]The worst is when you fall in love with an energy vampire
[16:29]who needs your help.
[16:33]Now, brothers and sisters, don't marry anybody because of a friendship that
[16:38]you helped help them, but don't marry them cuz you'll be always
[16:44]stuck at this level.
[16:44]And energetically, you're not a match.
[16:46]You want to find somebody at your level.
[16:50]So, those are the four characteristics.
[16:54]If you're looking for a good friend, write down characteristics you want.
[17:01]You want wisdom, you want compassion, you want positive character, make sure
[17:09]you're those things and then you'll attract it.
[17:10]And that's what I'm big on, teaching people how to overcome themselves.
[17:17]See, we've been tricked thinking we need something outside of us to
[17:21]feel joy and happiness.
[17:21]We need wealth to feel abundant.
[17:24]We need a relationship to feel love.
[17:27]We need something outside of us to feel spiritual.
[17:31]God has a system.
[17:34]He says, "You don't need any of it.
[17:36]You're enough." And as soon as I that these people that I
[17:39]help take this concept, their lives change.
[17:42]Brother Hussein, my marriages change.
[17:44]The addiction is gone.
[17:46]I deal with a lot of addicts in the community.
[17:51]even other issues issues that because we're at a mosque I won't
[17:55]even discuss but it's just people overcoming themselves in believing in their
[18:02]own possibility.
[18:01]So we do I'm big in meditation.
[18:04]There was a non-Muslim who came to the book club two weeks
[18:09]ago last not this Wednesday the Wednesday before came in we spoke
[18:13]about a concept in 40 hadith and then we're reading a a
[18:17]new earth by a carttol then we did a 45minute meditation which
[18:22]involves some duas as well then we do testimonials one lady said
[18:30]I asked God 4 days ago to show me what happiness is
[18:32]I haven't felt it said it's the first time I felt it.
[18:37]Another late person said, "I'm dealing with so many issues internally.
[18:40]It's the first time where I don't feel like I need those
[18:43]things." One of the brothers is actually here.
[18:46]The other person said, "I want to talk." He's a black brother,
[18:53]beautiful brother, non-Muslim.
[18:53]Says, "I'm going to be very honest with you.
[18:57]It's the first time I felt free in about six and seven
[19:00]years where I didn't think of anything else.
[19:04]So, we ended the meditation and I'm walking with him outside and
[19:10]I said, "Is this your car?" Said, "Yeah." He was driving a
[19:15]$200,000 Ferrari.
[19:16]He lives in a multi-million dollar home in West Bloomfield.
[19:21]And I was telling the students at Wise, we've been fooled thinking
[19:24]when we get the Ferrari, we get the house, we get the
[19:29]pretty girl, then I'll be happy.
[19:30]Where God said, you allowed Shayan to fool you.
[19:34]You don't need any of it to achieve happiness.
[19:37]Be happy within.
[19:37]And then when you attract these things, they will only elevate you.
[19:41]You won't be a slave to them.
[19:44]Next week, this last Wednesday, he brings a friend.
[19:49]Same issues.
[19:51]He's driving a Porsche 911, brand new, and he's telling me how
[19:55]they have these friends.
[19:54]Some of them have 15 Ferraris, and none of them are happy.
[20:00]And it took somebody's suggestion cuz he prayed to God, "Show me
[20:05]where happiness lies." And he ends up at the school at the
[20:11]prayer hall at 11:00 in the night far away from home.
[20:14]That's possibility.
[20:16]But you have to be circled by good friends that encourage that
[20:22]behavior.
[20:23]I was Look, I believe everybody here is on a personal relationship
[20:26]between you and your Lord.
[20:27]I deal with some people who sell their bodies in this community,
[20:31]Muslims, some people who sell drugs, some people who cheat, some people
[20:37]who and every time I look at him, I I honestly believe
[20:39]I look at him said, I think if I were in your
[20:44]shoes, I'd probably do the same thing.
[20:45]So if you wear hijab, you don't wear hijab.
[20:48]You pray, you don't pray.
[20:49]Let me tell you something.
[20:50]I don't care.
[20:51]And let me tell you another thing.
[20:53]Neither does anybody else.
[20:54]Stop worrying about what everybody thinks about you.
[20:58]Nobody's thinking about you.
[20:59]It's a personal journey between you and Allah.
[21:03]Don't ever forget that.
[21:04]Don't look for things to please you.
[21:06]You don't need it.
[21:10]So anyways, there's a sister who's texting me cuz there's this fad
[21:15]now where people are celebrating taking off the hijab.
[21:17]Congratulations.
[21:19]And it's their friends congratulating them.
[21:22]So the sisters texted me, I want to take off my hijab
[21:27]right now and if you don't call me, I'm going to take
[21:32]it off.
[21:30]So I text her back, I really don't care if you take
[21:35]it off or not, right?
[21:36]Cuz whenever somebody I deal with a lot of suicide case, I've
[21:40]never lost a suicide case.
[21:42]So I gave her and I wanted to give her an ayah
[21:45]of the Quran, but I didn't I couldn't remember which ayah.
[21:50]It went blank.
[21:50]So I'm talking to I said, "Look, I got to go speak.
[21:57]It's on Wednesday." I I shut my phone off.
[22:01]A sister comes.
[22:01]Says, "I had a dream about you." Said, "Really?" He said, "Yeah."
[22:07]So, I'm going to tell you after your speech.
[22:09]I said, "Okay, I have the dream." I mean, I have the
[22:11]speech.
[22:12]He comes.
[22:13]She said, "This was the dream.
[22:15]You don't know this, but I've been wanting to take off my
[22:20]hijab." And my friend was in the dream and I didn't know
[22:22]she also wanted to take off the headscarf.
[22:26]And then a person came and handed me an ayah of the
[22:34]Quran.
[22:31]Surah Isa about the covering.
[22:36]Oh woman, oh believers, to be successful cover, be modest, lower your
[22:41]gaze.
[22:41]And then the person said, "You could either follow your body desires
[22:47]or you could follow God's desires cuz our best friend is Allah.
[22:51]If he's truly our best friend, we'll do what he says." And
[22:56]then I said, "Wow." Cuz I'm thinking about the girl I was
[23:01]texting 45 minutes ago.
[23:01]She goes, "You want to know what what's really weird is you
[23:05]said wow in the dream." And she's thinking I'm like some holy
[23:10]figure.
[23:10]That's why I was in a dream.
[23:14]I said, "No, I didn't know the ayah.
[23:14]That's why I'm in a dream.
[23:17]Look how Allah brought it to me." Not only when she spoke
[23:21]to her friend did her friend keep on the hijab.
[23:25]Not only did she keep on the hijab, the girl that texted
[23:28]me kept on the hijab.
[23:32]That's possibility.
[23:30]I believe if you tap into the divine Allah that's within you
[23:36]and all around you and feel that joy and love that he
[23:39]has for you, you don't no longer need the iPhone 13 to
[23:44]feel whole.
[23:43]You really, really don't.
[23:47]We've been possessed by our possessions and then our friends have been
[23:51]possessed by your possessions.
[23:51]And if you don't get the next thing, your friends look down
[23:57]at you.
[23:55]Just think about it.
[23:58]What if I gave you the same exact iPhone, but it doesn't
[24:01]have the Apple symbol on it?
[24:03]What if those Jordans or they have these sleezes, Yeezys, whatever they
[24:10]are, right?
[24:09]Let's say the Jordan label is removed.
[24:12]Would it feel the same?
[24:15]Even though it's the same shoe, it wouldn't because your emotions are
[24:20]dependent to something outside of you.
[24:22]And our friends are the same way.
[24:25]So if you have any friends that are not serving, they talk
[24:29]about other people.
[24:29]They bring you down.
[24:32]Even older brothers, if you have friends, if you're making 80 $90,000
[24:35]a year and you're stuck and you want to do greater things
[24:37]for Allah, most likely your friends are making 80 90,000.
[24:42]You now have to break out of your comfort zones and say,
[24:47]"What can I do?
[24:47]Let me find a new friend that's out there." Unfortunately, after the
[24:50]age of 35, we don't do that.
[24:54]We get in a routine.
[24:55]Can you imagine if you watch the same movie every day?
[25:01]Avengers every day.
[25:00]And I force you guys for the next 2 years to watch
[25:06]the same movie every day.
[25:07]Would you be miserable?
[25:09]That's people's lives.
[25:11]They wake up, they check their iPhone, they take a picture of
[25:13]their feet, post it on Instagram, brush their teeth, yell at their
[25:17]kids, go to work, complain about a job that they don't like,
[25:22]come home, listen to their wife complaining, talk to their kids, go
[25:26]to sleep, and then they're miserable.
[25:28]And I'm meeting a lot of 35 and up that are just
[25:30]unhappy cuz they forgot about their dreams and imaginations when they were
[25:34]kids, and they went back to being very limited cuz they think
[25:39]this is the way they be.
[25:40]You're an unlimiting being.
[25:43]So, what are you going to do to change?
[25:45]And change is just not making the same choices as yesterday.
[25:48]So, how do you change?
[25:50]Find a good friend.
[25:51]What's one thing I should change about myself?
[25:53]Go to your parents.
[25:57]What's one thing I should change?
[25:58]Or go to your old self that had those dreams and relive
[26:01]it and say, "What can I do to achieve it?" And that's
[26:06]what I'm fascinated about is that when people do it, there was
[26:11]two brothers at the camp.
[26:14]They were 17 and 18.
[26:15]They said, I'll give two stories and one open up to Q&A.
[26:20]They said, "Brother Hussein, we don't want to go to college, but
[26:24]our parents are forcing us.
[26:25]You know, there's this fat now.
[26:27]No college.
[26:29]Let me invest in ETH.
[26:29]Let me understand NFTTS.
[26:32]Let me get a little bit into crypto and right and unfortunately
[26:37]when I say NFTTS and crypto people have no idea what it
[26:40]is, what is digital currency and so on, but they're still investing
[26:45]in it which is okay.
[26:45]So I said, "Do you believe you have a gift?" They said,
[26:49]"Yeah." I said, "Okay, you don't resist.
[26:50]Let's say if you're looking to get married to somebody and your
[26:54]parents don't agree, you don't get married to them.
[26:58]You convince your parents.
[26:59]Prove it to them." So that's what I told him.
[27:03]I said, 'D don't quit, but guess what?
[27:05]You got to do the work.
[27:07]What's the work?
[27:06]You're not watching Netflix on Sundays.
[27:08]You're not watching football on Sundays.
[27:10]You're not hanging out with your boys.
[27:12]You're going to school.
[27:15]Everything else is devoted to this business that you have.
[27:17]And then your parents will be convinced.
[27:19]I promise you.
[27:21]But pray to Allah.
[27:23]Said, "Okay, one two years go by.
[27:27]We had co we didn't have a camp.
[27:28]I see him two years later.
[27:29]Every six months I'm giving them advice and they're taking it.
[27:33]They're applying it.
[27:34]They call me a camp and say, "Okay, brother." Say, "You won't
[27:38]believe what happened.
[27:38]We're now making $40,000 a month." They live in Canada in Toronto.
[27:42]And our parents, because they believed us in so much, they tripled
[27:47]their business, they just bought a million-doll home.
[27:50]And they said, "Hey, that college thing, yeah, yeah, don't worry about
[27:54]it." But what do we do?
[27:55]Instead of giving options to our parents and trying to go after
[28:01]things the godly way, we hold on to a grudge and we
[28:04]don't let it go until our parents give in.
[28:05]Thus, we have such a high divorce rate in this community cuz
[28:09]we don't want to do it God's way.
[28:11]You know, there's no blessings when you do things behind your parents'
[28:14]back.
[28:15]Zero.
[28:15]And that thing that you think is going to be good for
[28:19]you, Allah says, "I'm going to reverse it and it's going to
[28:22]be your karma." Don't be scared to talk to your parents.
[28:25]You guys know Hal Food Junkie.
[28:28]Everybody knows him, right?
[28:30]He came to me a couple years ago.
[28:32]He didn't know what to do.
[28:36]Said, "Brother Hussein, I'm confused." Said, "You should You're not confused.
[28:40]Tell me what you like to do." He says, "I love promoting
[28:44]food on the web." Said, "Can you go all in 12-hour days,
[28:49]7 days a week if you want to truly be an entrepreneur?
[28:51]And I gave him a big number.
[28:53]In his mind, he said, "That's impossible." 6 months would go by.
[29:01]Now what?
[29:02]Look at this.
[29:01]Another 6 months.
[29:03]Now what?
[29:04]Says, "Brother Hussein, now I'm living life on my terms." But he
[29:09]did the work.
[29:08]He got rid of the bad friends.
[29:13]He got rid of the energy vampires.
[29:14]All of us want our reality to change by staying as the
[29:18]same personality.
[29:20]it just doesn't work.
[29:21]Stop doing that and stop blaming.
[29:26]Do you know when there's an expectation in our life and we
[29:28]don't meet it?
[29:30]If you if you go to the older brothers, say, "Didn't you
[29:32]expect to build an orphanage by now?
[29:34]Didn't you expect to do things?" They said, "Yeah." Most people when
[29:42]they don't reach an expectation, what do they do?
[29:44]They blame.
[29:46]Instead of blaming and coming up with excuses, develop a habit of
[29:51]saying this is a habit I'm going to do to achieve here.
[29:54]Do you know what this conversation does to you guys?
[29:57]My background is in behavioral science and CBT.
[30:00]I council, I help addicts, people who've the community is completely given
[30:06]up on.
[30:05]We've spent 30 grand a month in rehab centers.
[30:09]Do you know what this conversation does for you?
[30:14]Zero.
[30:14]Nothing.
[30:15]Absolutely nothing.
[30:18]Cuz this conversation is about conscious talk.
[30:20]Cuz if this conversation could impact you, then nobody had a better
[30:24]conversation than the prophet wasam.
[30:26]Nobody was a better speaker.
[30:29]Yet he didn't change people.
[30:33]They still betrayed him.
[30:33]Even his so-called friends soon as he passed away weren't even at
[30:37]his grave.
[30:39]What this does for you is say consciously, what tool am I
[30:45]going to ch use to rewire this program, this habit machine that
[30:49]I could apply to change my future?
[30:51]And as soon as you do that, your life changes.
[30:56]Does everybody here have at least maybe one friend they should probably
[31:01]spend a little less time with?
[31:03]Every every day is raining.
[31:04]You know, when my life changed, I'll give you a personal story
[31:08]and then we'll do the Q&A.
[31:11]I promise.
[31:12]I have so many other things to share.
[31:13]In 2006, I had a lot of friends.
[31:21]A lot.
[31:18]My life, my God was my friends.
[31:23]I would give my life for them.
[31:25]They would give my life for me.
[31:27]But even if I gave my life to them, does that mean
[31:30]I'm going to go to heaven?
[31:34]We forget about our best friend.
[31:35]Haj, you know, Ali Abdullah at um he was at Century 21.
[31:41]Where is he at now?
[31:45]I'm losing the name.
[31:44]Exp.
[31:45]You guys see him?
[31:45]Some of you.
[31:47]You know Dave Abdullah, his brother.
[31:48]He comes to me, by the way.
[31:50]Dave Abdullah, bad friends.
[31:54]He used to go and pick up garbage to find clothes.
[31:59]He couldn't afford clothes.
[31:59]He would go to garbages on Millis Street and Oakman Street in
[32:03]People's Garbage looking for clothes.
[32:07]He said he got rid of his friends.
[32:10]He manifested.
[32:09]He wouldn't move until he envisioned his future.
[32:13]And then he would put number one in Michigan twice a day
[32:16]in a shower.
[32:19]He became not only number one in Michigan, he became number one
[32:23]in the US.
[32:23]Just first thing he said, he had to get rid of his
[32:27]bad friends.
[32:28]We want these big dreams, but we don't want to change our
[32:30]environment.
[32:30]And we want to keep talking the same way and doing the
[32:32]same things and hoping praying to God and something's going to happen.
[32:39]That's your ego.
[32:38]God says, "I answer all the prayers of the one who calls
[32:43]on me." But not of the ego of the heart.
[32:45]And if you're willing to change, God will change your whole destiny.
[32:48]And I could write a book on testimonials of people that I
[32:52]have helped.
[32:53]But I'll share my story.
[32:54]His brother comes to you.
[32:57]He says to me, he says, "Brother Hussein, there's this guy speaking
[33:01]at Shehahi's mosque.
[33:04]I think you should go listen to him." It's like, "No, my
[33:10]friends.
[33:10]I'm going out." Says, "Come on, I'll take you." I said, "No."
[33:14]He asked me to.
[33:16]And he left, came back, asked me again.
[33:19]I said, "No, I'm at the failing club.
[33:22]It was a gym.
[33:22]I'm sitting." So I'm different.
[33:27]Look, we do healings.
[33:28]I'm big believer in prayer.
[33:32]Like why is it when people go to Imm or Imam Hussein
[33:34]shrine, the paralysis goes away, the cancer goes away.
[33:39]The last four years I've been studying the science and I've been
[33:42]meeting people and helping people overcome themselves.
[33:45]We have testimonials for that too cuz that's praying to Allah.
[33:50]You have that within you.
[33:53]So anyways, I said, "No, I sit down.
[33:59]I'm alone.
[33:58]Whisper in my ear." You know, we believe in a talking God.
[34:03]We believe angels sometimes could wake us up.
[34:05]Angels sometime could protect us.
[34:07]This isn't the Holy Quran.
[34:08]We believe you could ask Allah to split a sea and he
[34:12]could split it for you.
[34:13]We believe if we could talk to Allah, we could be thrown
[34:17]in fire and it won't affect us.
[34:18]We believe in all the Thank you.
[34:20]all these possibilities.
[34:21]That's the Quran.
[34:22]It's filled with possibilities.
[34:23]But we feel separate from us because we think we need something
[34:26]outside of us to make us feel whole.
[34:29]That's why we don't really believe if we truly believe we would
[34:33]do the work.
[34:34]It's like I ask people, do you know why you don't wake
[34:35]up for fud?
[34:37]You know why you don't wake up and meditate?
[34:39]Cuz you truly don't believe that it's going to affect the rest
[34:42]of your day.
[34:44]If you want to get married on time, pray on time.
[34:46]You want to have that job, that risk from Allah, you want
[34:50]the next Uber idea, pray on time.
[34:52]But we don't believe it because we've never gone through that situation.
[34:57]So I didn't believe it.
[35:00]Something whispered, "Go." I went I said all the way upstairs is
[35:07]two levels.
[35:08]I went all the way upstairs and the person spoke about cuz
[35:13]I was arrogant.
[35:13]I'm a natural entrepreneur.
[35:17]I had a Corvette.
[35:17]I I was arrogant.
[35:19]Take three vacations.
[35:19]I one summer I took three cruises.
[35:22]Just I was looking for happiness and nothing I could find brought
[35:29]me happiness.
[35:27]I went and speak and the person's talking about how funny human
[35:31]beings the way they look for happiness that brings them nothing for
[35:38]sadness.
[35:36]It's like somebody says you're beautiful and you feel great and then
[35:43]you become depressed when the beauty goes away cuz you are dependent
[35:46]on the beauty.
[35:47]You identified yourself as a beautiful person from the outside.
[35:51]Well, Allah says know what's within people.
[35:53]Why do they commit suicide after they lose their job?
[35:56]They identified themselves through the job.
[35:59]They were attached to it.
[36:03]So I went there.
[36:02]I didn't move.
[36:05]I couldn't move after the lecture.
[36:07]I said, "Man, this person wrecked me." I said, "I need to
[36:13]meet this person." So the first prayer I did, I said, "Allah,
[36:16]remove all my friends that take me away from you.
[36:21]I swear because that day I had 20 mis calls.
[36:24]You won't believe what happened.
[36:25]Where were you?" Said, "Man, you won't believe what happened.
[36:29]You got to come and listen to this guy speak." I asked
[36:33]Allah remove all my be all my friends were gone.
[36:36]I became very lonely and depressed.
[36:39]Then I asked Allah bring me new friends that bring me closer
[36:45]to you.
[36:44]Who is the friend?
[36:47]That person speaking.
[36:48]And because of that we started wise academy the camp Orlando and
[36:54]all the other projects we do.
[36:56]That's possibility.
[36:56]I'm living proof of it here.
[36:59]And in the last 15 years, all I've tried to do every
[37:02]day is just gain a little bit of knowledge.
[37:04]And I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing people
[37:08]as much as I can that they don't need anybody to validate
[37:11]them.
[37:12]And you're responsible for your own happiness.
[37:15]There's a guy wanted to commit suicide.
[37:17]He calls me a brother who's saying, "Brother, can you do the
[37:20]work?
[37:21]Can you meditate and don't move until you convince your body that
[37:26]it's going to happen?" Just like in a dream, you have a
[37:29]nightmare.
[37:29]Your body's convinced of it.
[37:29]You have a great dream.
[37:31]Your body's convinced.
[37:32]That's why you get upset when you wake up, right?
[37:36]You know, you could do that eyes open.
[37:38]And as soon as you convince yourself of something that you want,
[37:40]and then Allah says, "Be grateful." And I'm going to give it
[37:43]to you unexpectedly.
[37:44]How do you become grateful before something shows up in this 3D
[37:48]world?
[37:48]You close your eyes and you thank Allah for it.
[37:51]I'm grateful for the next opportunity.
[37:53]I'm grateful for that spouse that you're bringing me, Allah.
[37:55]Thank you.
[37:56]There's no longer I need something or I want something.
[38:00]You never pray, "Oh Allah, I need something." Do you know why?
[38:04]You're telling your body that you're lacking it.
[38:05]Don't pray that way.
[38:09]The prophetam overcame the cabba.
[38:10]He already knew it was going to happen.
[38:13]He already saw it.
[38:12]It wasn't a surprise for him.
[38:15]So I told this brother, "Can you do this work?" He said,
[38:18]"Sure." Said, "Wake up every day and do it." He said, "Okay,
[38:21]where do you want to work?" He want to work for the
[38:23]state.
[38:23]So he's closing his eyes imagining he's working this state mental rehearsal
[38:28]reciting a dua then he says and I tell him ask Allah
[38:33]to show you signs he kept seeing Cadillac Cadillac Cadillac middle of
[38:37]CO co just started actually we're shut down he goes on the
[38:40]road there's nobody on the road he sees Cadillacs he turns on
[38:44]the TV he sees Cadillacs he calls the unemployment office a couple
[38:48]days later the lady says I like you after on hold for
[38:53]3 hours cuz he had a problem with his unemployment.
[38:56]Says, "I want you to come work for me." He calls me,
[38:58]"Brother Hussein," one week later when he working for the state, he
[39:06]goes to pick up his laptop from downtown Detroit.
[39:07]His brother's within our community.
[39:09]He goes and picks it up from the Cadillac building.
[39:14]That brother can never go back to the person that he was.
[39:20]It's impossible.
[39:19]There's a sister at her school.
[39:25]She's she was a senior.
[39:24]My mom won't let me be a pilot.
[39:27]My friends keep making fun of me.
[39:29]Stop talking to your friends and envision that future of you the
[39:34]pilot of being a pilot and email the instructor at Eastern Michigan.
[39:37]Whatever that you want to do, stop asking your friends who got
[39:43]five bucks in their pocket.
[39:43]Email somebody who's at that 10x level uh uh success.
[39:49]I do an entrepreneur club for our students at wise.
[39:52]Who comes and meets them?
[39:53]People are worth millions of dollars.
[39:56]And then we add the spiritual component of what are you going
[39:59]to do?
[40:00]How are you going to serve others?
[40:01]Cuz that should be on top of your list.
[40:03]So the sister says, "Okay, I'll do it." She emails the person.
[40:09]She prays.
[40:11]The person emails her from Eastern Michigan.
[40:12]I understand your story.
[40:14]Can you bring your mom to the school next week?
[40:19]She said, "Sure." They get there.
[40:20]He says, "Get in this plane." The mom says, "No way." He
[40:26]says, "Get in." She They get in this plane.
[40:28]Some of you know her.
[40:29]And the mom is in the back.
[40:30]One week later, she's flying the plane with her mom in the
[40:36]back reciting dua.
[40:37]Brothers and sisters, my advice to you, everybody, pray bold prayers.
[40:44]Ask yourself, what habits do I need to change now that are
[40:47]not serving myself to my future self?
[40:49]I don't care what age you are.
[40:51]And what friends do you need to get rid of?
[40:54]Not by burn bridges.
[40:57]Just ask Allah, I need to stop having these friends cuz that's
[40:59]all we're talking about is gossip and other people.
[41:04]And ask Allah to bring you new friends.
[41:05]That's when my life changed.
[41:08]It took one friend and now we're doing millions of dollars worth
[41:11]of projects.
[41:12]All for the hopefully for the sake of Allah if Allah accepts
[41:14]it.
[41:15]Somebody would have told me 20 years ago I would be doing
[41:19]that said impossible.
[41:18]Somebody would said just the healings teaching people how to truly pray
[41:22]to overcome themselves.
[41:24]I would have said impossible and that's possibility.
[41:28]Believe in yourself and love yourself enough to remove any negativity in
[41:34]your life and just watch what happens.
[41:38]Your whole destiny changes.
[41:38]That person that had 150 missing assignments, was about to be kicked
[41:42]out of school, now was talking to that person in cyber security.
[41:47]They just changed their destiny by changing their friends.
[41:50]If you have any friend that's an energy vampire and it doesn't
[41:57]serve you, trust me, they're not going to care if you're 40
[41:59]years old, broke, and divorced.
[42:01]Wah, they're not going to care.
[42:04]Not only are they're not going to care, they're going to talk
[42:08]about you.
[42:08]Don't believe in anything else.
[42:10]And if you're in a relationship and it's not serving and it's
[42:18]high energy to keep it and it's exhausting and you're codependent on
[42:22]this person or this person is codependent on you, stop.
[42:25]You're not allowed to get married until you love yourself.
[42:29]And stop saying, "If I'm 30, oh my god, it's late.
[42:32]Oh, I'm 35." I always tell people, "Oh, you want to get
[42:37]married when you're not ready?" 25.
[42:38]Would you rather be happily unhappily married with two kids or happily
[42:47]single?
[42:45]Think about it.
[42:47]Stop looking for things that won't satisfy you because the societyy's telling
[42:52]you get married.
[42:54]It's the sunnah.
[42:54]But be ready.
[42:56]Learn to love yourself.
[42:56]If I gave you guys $300,000 a year, I mean $3 million
[43:02]right now, each and every one of you, I hand it to
[43:05]you.
[43:04]I go get my friend who's worth it and they could probably
[43:09]do it.
[43:08]But there's one catch.
[43:11]You're not allowed to wake up tomorrow.
[43:15]Would you do it?
[43:17]No.
[43:18]So your your life is worth more than 3 million.
[43:22]Please don't get into things that if they get exposed, you're not
[43:24]going to want to wake up.
[43:27]look at everything in your life and anticipate any problem saying if
[43:33]I this becomes public I will become embarrassed if that's true I
[43:38]promise you wall if you stop doing it God says in the
[43:43]holy Quran I'm going to replace it with something better and I'm
[43:46]living proof of it and that's my causehammed as you can tell
[43:56]this subject because it hit home.
[43:58]It's very personal to me and I'm sorry if I went over,
[44:02]but can you tell the person next to you what's either one
[44:04]thing you're going to do or one habit you're going to change
[44:09]when you leave here?
[44:10]Cuz then it's worth this talk being out here.
[44:16]Go.
[44:14]Remove your ego.
[44:17]Surrender.
[44:21]Ahmed, share.
[44:24]Tell he should he needs to tell you one thing he's gonna
[44:29]do right now.
[44:29]that I'm trying to find it hard as much as it being.
[44:57]Okay.
[44:58]The other thing is find an accountability partner.
[45:05]Your mom, your dad, make a promise.
[45:07]Whatever.
[45:06]Like sometimes I'll do it in front of the school.
[45:12]I'll put their parents.
[45:11]I say, "Okay, mom.
[45:12]What's one thing he should improve?
[45:15]Oh, praying on time.
[45:16]It's always number one, praying on time." I said, "Okay, Mom.
[45:18]For the next two weeks, he's going to pray on time, but
[45:23]there's a catch.
[45:22]You're not going to remind him because that's why he's not praying
[45:29]on time.
[45:28]He's dependent on you and we'll call you and then two weeks
[45:32]later we'll call the mom.
[45:33]Oh my god, I'm so much less stressed cuz I don't have
[45:37]to remind them.
[45:36]And the whole school.
[45:38]So what you do is you go to your mom, your brother,
[45:40]your sister, somebody you trust, and you make a promise to God.
[45:46]Whatever they tell me, I'm going to do.
[45:48]And just observe what happens to you two weeks later.
[45:52]And we have so many stories I could share of the time
[45:55]of the prophet of the people who changed their lives changed because
[45:59]of it.
[45:59]Any questions?
[46:02]Any questions at all?
[46:06]Yes.
[46:15]Yeah.
[46:16]So the way you're becoming a don't be an energy vampire is
[46:22]immateful for cuz gratefulness is the best emotion to have cuz Allah
[46:34]says when you're grateful give you more.
[46:36]I'm grateful for my nose.
[46:37]I'm grateful for my eyebrows.
[46:38]I'm grateful I can move my fingers.
[46:41]I could close my eyes and be in Europe within a millisecond.
[46:44]grateful right second thing is what thoughts do I want to have
[46:52]today what are the thoughts that I don't want to have today
[46:55]but here's the key and this is the part we hate doing
[47:01]at the end of the day how did I do how did
[47:04]I speak was I serving to myself immen says that's one of
[47:08]the hardest things because we hate answering to ourselves and then we
[47:12]don't want to do it then we let go of the practice
[47:16]So just when you go to sleep today, ask yourself cuz a
[47:18]lot of people will live 30 years living the same person, same
[47:24]movie without ever asking that question of reflecting on their day.
[47:29]That's scary.
[47:31]That's insanity.
[47:32]So at the end of the day, how did I do?
[47:35]Did I talk back to my mom when that person cut me
[47:39]off?
[47:39]Did I beep at them?
[47:40]when I opened the door and that person didn't tell me thank
[47:44]you why did I get upset did I open up the door
[47:48]because of my ego and I was expecting something back did I
[47:53]backbite and if you don't do this don't expect the change it's
[47:57]impossible you have to do the that's the work to reflect on
[48:06]that there I'm going to say this story please if I offend
[48:10]anybody I'm sorry I think For some reason, it's important.
[48:14]I deal with a lot.
[48:16]There's nothing that you could tell me that I haven't dealt with
[48:18]in this community.
[48:19]Be careful of marijuana, brothers and sisters.
[48:23]The second most toxic thing to the brain is marijuana.
[48:25]Causes schizophrenia.
[48:27]And I'm sending people who are normal, fine.
[48:30]They started doing marijuana.
[48:33]We're taking them to mental hospitals.
[48:35]Stop.
[48:34]It's the second most toxic thing to the brain more than cocaine,
[48:39]crack, any of it.
[48:40]It's been proven scientifically.
[48:42]Study Daniel Aemon if you don't believe.
[48:44]But out of this story, I think just shows possibility.
[48:49]So, we have this thing where we're at the acceptance era.
[48:55]Just let people be.
[48:56]I said, but what if people want a choice to be something
[49:01]different?
[49:00]So, I deal a lot with homosexuality in the community.
[49:04]It's the gene that gets triggered by the environment.
[49:07]And when the the environment triggers it, then these feelings come.
[49:12]I was at this meditation retreat.
[49:16]And it's the hardest thing to do because there's no studies on
[49:20]if somebody wanted to be straight, if they're gay, is there anything
[49:23]they could do?
[49:25]Cuz what's funny is if they're this way, leave them alone.
[49:27]Just let them be.
[49:29]What if they don't want to be that way?
[49:31]Isn't that choice available?
[49:32]Why are you judging that if you're telling us not to judge?
[49:35]So, I've helped people think greater than the way they feel.
[49:40]The people, some of them, it was very difficult.
[49:43]It's the hardest thing I deal with.
[49:45]I was at a retreat in Florida and there's a brother sitting
[49:48]and he's telling me about his mom, how he's negative, he can't
[49:54]stand her, they always argue, and how his father left him.
[49:56]So, I leave, I go to my hotel room.
[49:59]I get an inspiration.
[50:01]It was weird.
[50:01]you need to go and tell this person he's not this way,
[50:06]that he actually likes women.
[50:07]It's like, how am I going to tell this person that?
[50:12]Like, it's me telling like somebody who likes women to like guys.
[50:15]Like, how do you tell somebody that?
[50:16]So, I said Allah, how would I tell some?
[50:19]It make no sense.
[50:19]I said, so I dismissed it.
[50:21]I get out of my room.
[50:23]He's right in front of me by the hotel.
[50:28]I said, "Brother, can I share something with you?" He said, "Yeah."
[50:31]I said, 'I think you're this way cuz it's a misplaced resentment
[50:34]towards your father and this is the way you lash out.
[50:39]I really don't believe you're this way.
[50:41]He looks at me and I always get this line.
[50:42]Ahmed's here to attest to it.
[50:46]It's funny you say that.
[50:47]I'm about to go have lunch with this female and I'm about
[50:51]to tell her that I don't like this gender.
[50:54]I said, "Can you just be open and stop labeling yourself and
[50:58]just try to be conscious of it?" He said, "I'm going to
[51:04]try." Two months go by.
[51:06]I'm at another retreat.
[51:08]He's there.
[51:10]I'm eating alone.
[51:09]I get a tap on the shoulder.
[51:11]God is my witness.
[51:12]I'm at the mosque.
[51:14]I get a tap on the shoulder.
[51:17]Says, "Hey, who's brother saying?
[51:19]I want you to meet somebody.
[51:19]This is my fiance." If I would have first judged him for
[51:24]being that way or thrown them in hell, that possibility wouldn't have
[51:31]been given to me.
[51:30]And the key is to look at everybody with the love and
[51:35]lens of compassion.
[51:37]Especially yourself.
[51:39]Stop looking in the future through the lens of your past.
[51:43]Let go.
[51:44]Forgive that person.
[51:47]Show compassion.
[51:46]Let it go.
[51:48]It doesn't exist anymore.
[51:50]And I believe that's possibility.
[51:56]Any other questions?
[51:54]Anything at all?
[51:57]Yes.
[52:04]Can you somebody repeat?
[52:06]I can't hear you.
[52:09]That's why.
[52:11]Can Okay.
[52:17]Instead of praying or meditating then along with that small small habits
[52:25]that you could do.
[52:28]So prayer we just prayed Friday prayer correct if you leave Friday
[52:33]prayer and you cut somebody off that prayer had no effect on
[52:38]you.
[52:39]Meditation if you meditated but as soon as you leave you you're
[52:44]you're you're being bad to yourself.
[52:46]it has no effect.
[52:46]Prayer starts when it ends.
[52:51]The other thing is a routine.
[52:53]The most successful people have a routine.
[52:55]So brothers that are still in high school, college, if you don't
[52:58]have a routine, you're always going to be working for somebody who's
[53:01]going to give you a routine.
[53:04]You're always going to be a salary slave.
[53:06]I promise you.
[53:07]Get a routine.
[53:09]When you wake up the same time every day, be predictable.
[53:14]You wake up, you go to the gym.
[53:16]What are the foods that you eat?
[53:18]How are you serving your brain?
[53:19]It's the biggest organ.
[53:22]Are you eating carbs?
[53:22]A lot of negative foods.
[53:24]Caffeine.
[53:25]You know, caffeine causes brain fog.
[53:27]So, have a routine of your diet.
[53:30]Have a routine of the things that you do.
[53:34]Give yourself leisure time, but it's within your routine.
[53:38]Most of us, when I get to it, you're never going to
[53:40]get to it.
[53:42]My biggest habit is read.
[53:43]If you don't like to read, watch a uh a YouTube video.
[53:47]Learn because if you're not growing, you're dying.
[53:50]Look at everything in nature.
[53:52]If it stops growing, what happens?
[53:54]It dies.
[53:56]Many people after the age of 35 are now dying cuz they're
[53:58]not growing.
[54:00]The prophetam didn't say gain knowledge from the cradle to you're 30
[54:06]till you die.
[54:07]Was on his deathbed reciting surah.
[54:11]said why you already memorized it said I don't want to die
[54:14]ignorant so have a routine and don't break that routine for anybody
[54:17]for the last 15 years I read a book a week for
[54:22]the last 15 years I go to sleep listening to a lecture
[54:26]there's not a lecture if you see all the popular ones I've
[54:31]listened to them all just have a routine ask yourself guys do
[54:35]you have a routine can you share with the person next to
[54:39]you a routine that you're going to start adopting and make a
[54:44]promise to God.
[54:46]That's a trail for success.
[54:48]Go promise.
[54:50][laughter] That's true.
[54:52]But do you believe if you start one your life will change?
[54:55]If you truly believe it, then why not do it?
[54:58]I feel like No, but if you have a vision of the
[55:05]future, by the way, a routine only works if you have a
[55:11]big vision.
[55:10]You want to orphanage, you want to you want to what is
[55:15]it that you want to do that's serving to you?
[55:17]So, if you have a routine, but you don't have a vision,
[55:21]it doesn't work.
[55:21]Vision and the routine you're going to do today to create that
[55:24]vision.
[55:25]So, it's good you said that.
[55:29]Go.
[55:28]Go everybody.
[55:33]Okay, good.
[55:40]Please don't underestimate prayer.
[55:44]If you don't pray, people will judge you.
[55:46]Don't tell anybody.
[55:48]Trust me, just pray.
[55:48]Don't even tell anybody.
[55:52]Watch what happens after.
[55:52]I promise you every prophet of God before they passed away they
[55:56]said salat salat salat brothers and sisters we've achieved success two ways
[56:03]we ask Allah we've never done a fundraiser we have probably 20
[56:09]to 30 million you've never seen a wise fundraiser you never will
[56:12]or a camp taha fundraiser the second praying the second it's the
[56:21]way me and haj hassan treat our moms.
[56:23]Honestly, if our parents told us go on this roof and spend
[56:28]3 weeks on the roof cuz the prophet's teachings, we would go
[56:31]on the roof cuz you have no idea how that's affects everything
[56:36]in your life.
[56:37]So, a routine Dave Abdullah, remember Dave Abdullah, you know what routine
[56:42]he adapted to be successful?
[56:44]He would go visit his mom every night.
[56:46]So, every day, ask your mom if she needs something.
[56:50]How are you, mom?
[56:53]Remember, be serving.
[56:52]Know her needs.
[56:54]Fulfill her needs.
[56:57]And don't be miserly.
[56:57]Don't do things behind her back.
[56:59]Please, your life will change.
[57:00]I promise you.
[57:02]I probably have a thousand testimonials just in this community of the
[57:07]people I've helped in 13 years.
[57:08]And I help people all over the world.
[57:10]Our book club, the meditation, has about 350 from people all over
[57:17]the world, New Zealand, Australia, and just people sharing stories of overcoming
[57:20]themselves.
[57:20]And you're all welcome.
[57:24]It's Wednesday at 8:15 p.m.
[57:24]But something we never advertise.
[57:27]You're welcome to come.
[57:29]Who's it?
[57:30]What's somebody's routine that they're going to start and make it a
[57:34]testament to everybody?
[57:33]Sister, right behind not you, but the right.
[57:38]Yes.
[57:37]What's one thing you're going to start doing a little bit different?
[57:41]Do you have kids?
[57:42]I do.
[57:43]Okay.
[57:43]So, when your kids make a mistake, instead of you showing the
[57:48]emotion out of anger because they made a mistake, you're going to
[57:51]hold it.
[57:52]And then an hour later, you're going to say, "Because I love
[57:55]you, I'm going to do take your iPad away." And it's going
[58:00]to be out of love.
[58:00]Because when you do it out of anger, they're going to stop
[58:02]doing the bad thing because of fear, not out of love.
[58:05]And then when you go out of the picture, there it goes.
[58:09]They go back to the bad habit.
[58:10]Is that something you could start doing?
[58:13]So, how would I know that?
[58:17]Your kids told me we have really bad parenting going on in
[58:21]the country.
[58:22]And that's the number one problem.
[58:24]We discipline out of anger, not out of love.
[58:28]You'll lose your kids.
[58:31]Has to be.
[58:30]Imam Alus, by the way, if you're raising your kids the same
[58:34]way you were raised, Ibam says you're going to lose them.
[58:37]Don't uh kids going to college, if you're on just tangent a
[58:45]little bit, I'm sorry, but it's a tool.
[58:47]Dopamine, you guys know dopamine, right?
[58:49]It's chemical hits the brain.
[58:50]So, when you're on your iPad or on Instagram or saving the
[58:56]world in some video game, you just got a dopamine drop.
[58:59]That's why when people tell you, "Let's go into nature.
[59:03]Let's go walk around the block." Boring.
[59:06]And then you're told, "Okay, go in front of this teacher and
[59:12]listen to him." Boring.
[59:11]Because you just got a dopamine drop.
[59:13]And do you know what happens with that dopamine drop?
[59:18]You need more of it.
[59:19]Does that sound like an addiction to you?
[59:21]Yes or no?
[59:24]My advice to you is spend time, but don't spend more than
[59:26]10 hours a week on these platforms.
[59:28]Anything more, your depression levels go up by 60% because you need
[59:32]more of it.
[59:33]It develops an addiction.
[59:33]If you go on your guys' screen time, on average, it's eight
[59:37]hours a day.
[59:40]They got you.
[59:42]You've been brainwashed.
[59:42]And you think you need more of it to feel fulfilled.
[59:45]And somebody now puts an Instagram post of their fake life and
[59:49]they get some crazy quote that's really nothing that they know.
[59:55]And then they got the 50 likes.
[59:56]And if they don't get the likes, they become depressed.
[60:00]Just be careful.
[59:59]You don't need any of it.
[60:02]Do the post, but don't be dependent on it for happiness, please.
[60:05]It's a great tool, but use it the right way.
[60:09]Yes, brother.
[60:12]Salam.
[60:22]Yeah.
[60:23]So if your friends, if you go and tell your friends, just
[60:27]simple, I have this great idea.
[60:29]And your friends shoot it down and make fun of you, run.
[60:33]That's it.
[60:34]If you see your friends doing things behind their parents' back or
[60:38]talking about others, run.
[60:41]They're not serving to you.
[60:43]They're going to do this.
[60:44]It's not rocket science.
[60:49]The simplest would you allow that person in 150 minutes I asked
[60:52]them go and look at your friends and ask you would you
[60:55]allow your kids one day to hang out with such people if
[60:57]the answer is no you either allow the body to take over
[61:01]the mind and keep doing it or you think greater than the
[61:04]way you feel that's it would you allow your friends to hang
[61:07]out would you allow your kids to hang out look I'm best
[61:11]friends with an NBA player this is how the mindbody reaction works
[61:14]He said, "I woke up at five o'clock in the morning." He
[61:19]said, "Sometimes I would manifest holding a million dollars and I'd be
[61:24]surprised when it wasn't there in third grade." He envisioned closing down
[61:28]high school arenas in middle school.
[61:29]He did it.
[61:31]But he said, "Here's the interesting thing.
[61:32]I woke up at 5:00 in the morning at third grade and
[61:35]I did the work.
[61:37]If it was raining, I did it.
[61:38]And all my friends made fun of me." He said he decided
[61:40]not to listen to any of them cuz he wanted to get
[61:45]his mom out of the ghetto.
[61:44]So he the kid says, "But I'll do it.
[61:48]I want to make the NBA." Said, "Okay." The alarm clock goes
[61:56]off.
[61:53]The mind says NBA.
[61:56]The body says you loser.
[61:57]Go back to sleep.
[61:59]And if you can't think greater than the way you feel, you're
[62:02]going back to sleep.
[62:04]And you're always going to be limited.
[62:06]And you're always going to complain why life hasn't been serving you.
[62:09]And then you're gonna complain to God.
[62:11]See this talk, like I said, it does nothing.
[62:14]Brothers and sisters, Shayan, right when you get in your car, he's
[62:17]going to try to make you forget everything.
[62:19]Take two things and say, "No matter what, I'm going to apply
[62:21]it." And I promise you, you're going to see change.
[62:25]Hussein, I im Hussein, we cry every year.
[62:28]But the main scholar said there's no change in the community cuz
[62:33]as soon as the tears go away, the habits are staying the
[62:38]same.
[62:37]The outer aspects of Imam Hussein are there.
[62:41]But the inner are not.
[62:44]Look at the problems in this community.
[62:46]Does anybody at least know one person who's being abused, gone through
[62:50]a divorce, addiction, backbiting, gossip?
[62:52]Think about it.
[62:53]As soon as somebody elevates themselves, everybody wants to talk about them.
[62:57]It's weird in the world is becoming separated like this.
[63:02]Don't fall victim to that.
[63:03]But let me just warn you, you might have to go through
[63:08]a little bit of sadness when you remove that because the body
[63:10]doesn't like that change.
[63:13]And if you could overcome that and overcome, you become somebody else.
[63:17]So whatever we do, don't forget those habits, please.
[63:19]And get that routine.
[63:22]Yes, brother.
[63:27]Yes.
[63:30]Okay.
[63:31]So let me be clear.
[63:35]Anybody who is having a a growing in their basement in warehouses
[63:39]and people are becoming millionaires from it, some of them overnight.
[63:42]Islamically, it's forbidden.
[63:44]It's haram.
[63:46]But leave that alone.
[63:51]Scientifically, there's been a 100,000 brain scans from crack, gambling, negative complaints.
[63:56]The most toxic thing to the brain they found was first schizophrenia.
[64:01]The second is marijuana.
[64:04]You become so stupid you don't even realize you're stupid and you
[64:09]think you're smart, especially up to the age of 24 when your
[64:11]brain is growing.
[64:13]So, not only is it forbidden and it's toxic to you, it's
[64:16]horrible to your brain.
[64:20]Why would you want to cause dementia or schizophrenia?
[64:23]What are you doing?
[64:25]So, what's going to happen?
[64:26]They're making money off growing just like alcohol.
[64:29]Brothers and sisters, we don't get morals from this country.
[64:32]Don't.
[64:33]They allow alcohol.
[64:35]Since everything goes, okay, start drinking if you're going to start doing
[64:40]marijuana.
[64:38]But they know the biggest killer one is alcohol.
[64:42]But this country is going to love it.
[64:44]You make money.
[64:45]It's no longer being sold underground by drug dealers.
[64:49]And then they're going to make money off people who are going
[64:51]to need drugs to get off of it.
[64:54]I have people at Wise who had to get committed by the
[64:59]police and taking them because they're they're losing their mind.
[65:03]I'm seeing it firsthand.
[65:05]Be very very careful.
[65:08]It's very toxic to the brain.
[65:10]So if you have friends who are getting high again be careful.
[65:14]It's going to just like the cross word puzzle could impact you.
[65:17]So that like be careful and you're going to see I'm very
[65:20]scared in the next 5 years in this community.
[65:23]You could get it on Warren.
[65:24]You could get it on Schaefer of where we're going to go.
[65:28]Look at gambling.
[65:28]Gambling is now legal.
[65:31]They've suckered so many people, giving them $1,500.
[65:34]Join this site.
[65:35]They're becoming addicts.
[65:37]I personally used to take people to the casinos and blacklist themselves
[65:40]so they can't go anymore.
[65:41]Now you can't escape it.
[65:45]It's on your phone.
[65:46]That's why we need that's why mosques are so important to have
[65:51]these discussions.
[65:51]By the way, first hour of your day or first half hour,
[65:56]last half hour, don't touch your phone because your brain waves go
[65:59]right up to high beta and you cannot be creative at high
[66:04]beta.
[66:05]When you wake up, you're in theta.
[66:07]That's when you get to create.
[66:08]You come up with the next uber idea.
[66:10]That's why last hour for adults, stop putting your phone under your
[66:13]pillow.
[66:14]It distracts you.
[66:15]It hurts you.
[66:16]There's electricity.
[66:18]It's not good for you.
[66:18]50% of people, 80 to 90% of people, the first thing they
[66:23]do is check their phone.
[66:24]How many people here check their phone the first thing?
[66:29]Come on, everybody.
[66:30]Let it go.
[66:31]Oh, then they say, "I need an alarm clock." Go buy a
[66:35]I'll give you $5 for an alarm clock.
[66:38]We're weird.
[66:39]Let it go.
[66:41]Create.
[66:42]As soon as you know that you're in complete control of your
[66:45]destiny, you've taken your free will back and you keep that routine.
[66:48]God is so present with you, he acts like you're the only
[66:56]creation.
[66:54]That's beautiful.
[66:56]That's love.
[66:58]It's not about heaven or hell.
[67:00]Do you know God in the Holy Quran says, see this discussion?
[67:04]If you reflected and said, I'm going to stop one bad habit.
[67:07]God in the Holy Quran says, "I forgive you not for that
[67:12]sin but all your sins." Wow, what a merciful Lord we have.
[67:17]But what do we hear most of the time?
[67:18]If you don't do this, you're going to hell.
[67:19]You're doing this.
[67:21]You You know, it's very hard to go to hell.
[67:24]Very hard to lie still and cheat consistently without repenting is extremely
[67:30]hard to do cuz our bodies, our fra is made for paradise.
[67:35]But it's not about that.
[67:38]It's be loving to yourself.
[67:39]The last thing is love yourself like you love your friends.
[67:47]Some of you drop everything and your parents complain why you do
[67:53]everything for them you don't do for yourself.
[67:54]First be loving to yourself more than for your friends and then
[68:00]you'll attract the same type.
[68:02]We'll do one last question.
[68:03]Yes, brother.
[68:10]Yes.
[68:18]Right.
[68:20]So, but but money has su money has nothing to do with
[68:27]success.
[68:25]Right.
[68:25]So, the guy brought a Ferrari that has a $200,000 car.
[68:30]He said, "I haven't been happy for 5 years." But if you
[68:33]are looking to get into a business, find the successful people because
[68:38]the people closest to sun shine the brightest.
[68:39]So if you want to go into real estate, go and befriend
[68:44]Dave Abdullah.
[68:44]Ask him, "What should I do every 6 months?" But then make
[68:49]a promise that when I get to this level, this is how
[68:51]I'm going to serve others, but I'm going to serve others now.
[68:55]So there is a fine balance because success, the only true success
[68:58]is when you're serving to yourself.
[69:00]And that should be top of your list.
[69:02]Most of us top of our list is certainty and gratification.
[69:08]We want people to gratify us.
[69:11]We want c we want that that money.
[69:12]It has to be uncertainty.
[69:13]Going after possibilities and having a mission.
[69:17]How am I going to build that orphanage one day?
[69:19]How am I going to help abuse women?
[69:22]How am I going to get people off marijuana?
[69:24]Then you'll attract people that will serve that mission.
[69:26]So there is a fine line because if you could attract success
[69:30]Donald Trump was given by Allah this power he attracted it.
[69:37]That's what his heart wanted.
[69:37]Shan prayed to God give me restbite to the day of judgment.
[69:42]God said here you go whatever you pray for from the heart
[69:45]you're going to get.
[69:45]That's why you got to take time and ask yourself who do
[69:49]you want to be?
[69:52]Drug addicts.
[69:50]When they close their eyes I said where does your mind wander
[69:56]to rob people?
[69:55]to be with my bad friends.
[69:58]So what do I do two months later?
[69:59]Get them to close their eyes.
[70:01]Where is their heart now?
[70:02]Towards better things.
[70:03]Because wherever your mind wanders, that's who you are.
[70:08]Immiam taught us.
[70:11]So yeah, it's a fine balance.
[70:20]Mhm.
[70:30]So this last question, right?
[70:35]So last, should I answer?
[70:37]Answer.
[70:38]We can move inside.
[70:39]Yeah.
[70:39]Well, if they want if you guys want to continue Q&A, you
[70:44]guys if you want, but let me just answer this in case
[70:46]we answer this question.
[70:47]Then we'll go inside or we there's pizza, too.
[70:50]I think I've spoke long enough.
[70:53]Um, so the question was, can you repeat it real quick?
[70:58]Yeah.
[70:59]So the prophets and the imams, first thing guys, marriages, don't take
[71:06]this the wrong way.
[71:08]If you're going to weddings where there's a lot of indecency and
[71:11]women and men are constantly shoulderto-shoulder and they're dancing, be careful of
[71:17]that.
[71:18]And then if in that wedding there is no poor people, it
[71:22]naturally will make you arrogant subconsciously just like the cross word puzzle.
[71:30]So whatever environment that you're in, right?
[71:34]So my advice is Zaman International.
[71:37]They just opened up a food pantry.
[71:40]Get involved.
[71:42]Go to access.
[71:43]See what you could do.
[71:46]uh we take our kids to homeless shelters, right?
[71:49]There's no reason why you cannot help and serve others in some
[71:54]way.
[71:55]But if you've gone 40 days without helping somebody in need in
[71:58]some way, either through advice or giving them a ride or doing
[72:01]something, then there's something wrong.
[72:03]Then everything becomes about you.
[72:05]You become selfish and self-centered.
[72:07]Why that's important?
[72:09]When a big thing comes your way, you're going to give up.
[72:12]So, how do I help?
[72:14]One thing that I do is I don't take any money when
[72:19]I counsel.
[72:17]They say, "But you got me off drugs.
[72:20]My marriage it's better.
[72:23]It's 10x.
[72:22]What?
[72:22]I want to give money." I said, "No." I said, "Why?" Said,
[72:27]"Did you learn something?" Said, "Yeah." I said, "Okay, you feel good?"
[72:30]"Yeah." I said, "Well, I I feel 10 times better than you
[72:33]because I gave it." I said, "I don't want money from you.
[72:35]There's nothing you can give me to repay me." And another reason,
[72:40]there's no strings attached.
[72:41]Everybody that does something good, there's a string attached.
[72:44]Remember that thing I did for you?
[72:45]If you have people who do that, stop.
[72:49]So start looking for opportunities to help people and don't even talk
[72:57]about it.
[72:55]And every day God sees you, but our arrogance blinds us from
[73:01]it.
[73:01]There was somebody today that probably needed your help and you didn't
[73:07]even see it.
[73:07]Pay attention to that and watch because Allah says you help these
[73:13]human beings.
[73:12]Watch how I help you.
[73:15]You won't need anything or anybody.
[73:17]So look for opportunities and helping the poor.
[73:20]All of our projects, it's all based on orphans.
[73:23]Any dollar profit, it goes back to orphans cuz they're the most
[73:27]vulnerable.
[73:27]Right now, guys, if something bad happened to you, you'd call your
[73:31]mom.
[73:31]What if you had nobody to call and then you call somebody
[73:36]that takes advantage of you?
[73:36]Why don't you do something to make sure that stops happening?
[73:40]Find out what your passion is and then figure out your passion
[73:46]to give back, whatever it is, and then make it a purpose
[73:48]by giving it to others.
[73:50]But that takes reflecting.
[73:54]I'm sorry, but again, let's not lose the tone.
[73:58]Two things, routine and getting rid of things that don't serve you.
[74:02]Being able to think greater than the way you feel.
[74:06]Thank you brothers and sisters and please let's come inside for pizza
[74:12]and refreshments.
0 Comments
sort Sorteer op
- Top Reacties
- Laatste Reacties
Volgende
4 Bekeken · 24/09/03
1 Bekeken · 24/09/04
4 Bekeken · 15/12/03
0 Bekeken · 24/07/16
