What is your understanding about a family? | Ali Reza Panahian

What is your understanding about a family?

Differences bring both sweetness and bitterness.

What is our understanding about a family? A family means putting two opposite genders next to each other so that their contradictions and harmony can be seen. Some young men have certain perceptions about their wives. There are many incorrect perceptions in this area. Many men get married without being familiar with women’s particularities at all. No one was around to explain to them how a woman’s nature is. When complaining they may criticize everything or be totally thankless. Don’t get upset!
I have ended an argument with a tradition. A man said, “When my wife starts complaining she says, ‘I haven’t seen any goodness from you!’ She denies all the rest of my good points.” I replied, “Imam Ali (‘a) and the Holy Prophet (s) have said in various statements that women are like this. If they criticise without any bounds, they talk as you have said.” The man asked, “Is it ok for women to talk like this?” I replied, “No, God will severely punish women who talk like this. But, the Commander of the Faithful (as) told the husband of such a woman, ‘When you see that your wife starts making a commotion, be silent.’” The man said, “I didn’t know that! I thought she should talk very accurately. I thought when she talks like this it means that she really hates me.” I said, “No, it’s not like this. Actually, she may even love you too. However, women sometimes talk sharply.” He said, “No one had told me this!”
Women themselves don’t know this either. When you tell them that they are like this, they think some and say, “Oh, yes. So I’m not such a complaining person. This is how I talk.” Since a woman says something sharply she herself believes it too. Her pride doesn’t allow her to back down. So she doesn’t say, “I didn’t mean that.” Thus, she doesn’t stop the argument and he doesn’t stop either. They stick to what they’ve said and gradually hate comes between them. It gets to a point where they say, “I can’t tolerate this anymore.” Women don’t get to this point that easily. Women are very flexible creatures. They even have the power to change their husbands.
These are all due to the incorrect perceptions and wrong understandings that exist. Many times women don’t have an accurate understanding about men. But men have more inaccurate impressions about women than women do about men. Now, what is our understanding about a family? Two different beings with these obvious differences are going to live together. These differences bring both sweetness and bitterness. If you have not foreseen this, you’ll lose your control. You won’t have the capacity to benefit from its sweetness, nor will you have the capacity to deal with its bitterness in the correct way.
A family means putting two opposite genders next to each other so that their contradictions and harmony can be seen.

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