Sayed Saleh Qazwini - Finding the Right Spouse - Ramadhan Night 27

30 المشاهدات· 24/03/22

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Finding the Right Spouse
Sayed Saleh Qazwini
Ramadan Night 28

Muslim Youth Connection
Ramadhan 2019

أظهر المزيد

Transcript

[0:00]Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Jamie on sha Allah this month has been

[0:05]nothing but blessings for you and your family I'd like to welcome

[0:09]you to our annual my sea Shahada Millan program I'd like to

[0:12]begin with a few reminders the my sea summer retreat is restoration

[0:17]is open unfortunately the slots have been closed for the sisters but

[0:20]for the brothers there are around 20 seats left so if you'd

[0:22]like to register now is the time I'd also like to stress

[0:26]that we are looking for a $200 sponsorship you don't have to

[0:29]pay 200 all at once you can divide it between you and

[0:33]a couple friends or family members and without any further ado I'd

[0:36]like to bring up brother Mustafa for our beautiful daily recitation of

[0:39]the Quran with Allah Allah Allah Muhammad Ali Mohammed allahumma salli ala

[1:05]muhammad wa aale him I would believe him in a shape on

[1:22]your regime miss me love yo man yo hey Oh Manzanar a

[1:43]calico on a little spa you don't accurately my ocean turns elem

[2:09]me man calling pulled over was somehow I didn't hola Manohar let

[2:24]alone she's stolen I wore my be summer - uh feel all

[2:39]my field only one my being a woman I want my the

[2:55]whole time so long what in turn shall be look only fire

[3:09]who we are ah love what a moon and smile wholesome now

[3:42]why hasn't the Haditha Musa one headline Takahashi through some politely unlinking

[4:21]go through me and lovely Teague mean ah people passing Ong door

[4:43]Lana who [Music] phenomena yeah Musa any and all bunk I'm thankful

[5:14]on our lake MN Gabrielle Oh God Palani you loving and focus

[5:38]our autonomy Madhu Allah Muhammad thank you brother wish to go for

[5:46]that beautiful recitation now I'd like to welcome say it's all how

[5:49]long with his gorgeous daughter aha with a loud fellow Allah Muhammad

[5:56]wari Muhammad smell al-rahman al-rahim al-hamdu lillahi rabbil alameen wa sallahu wa

[6:08]salam ala ashraf alam bi you want marceline habib allah al al-amin

[6:13]I will pass Simon Muslim Hamid salli ala allah elevates a high

[6:24]beam upon Lavina Habad llahu anhum auberge sahara home taught here are

[6:30]cal allahu taala fricative al karim smell ar-rahman ar-rahim women a yachty

[6:36]he and kala kalah common and fussy come assuage and eat Ascona

[6:41]alayha rajala be nakum what that sanema solana muhammad wa ala muhammad

[6:49]Allah Subhanahu WA Ta'ala created the human being in the greatest form

[7:01]and in the greatest shape and allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala equipped the human

[7:08]being with the certain necessary tools to reach the highest levels of

[7:21]success and to reach the highest potential a person can reach allah

[7:26]says in the quran look at jalapeno in Sanofi ahsani taqwim the

[7:31]human being has been created in the best way and Allah Subhanahu

[7:37]WA Ta'ala has in doubt the human being with tools and opportunities

[7:44]to reach our highest potential in life and everything in every realm

[7:51]allah subhanaw taala has given us tools to reach our highest potential

[7:56]however one of the ways one of the means of reaching our

[8:06]highest potential is through building a family this is why family is

[8:13]very important in Islam getting married and starting a family and building

[8:20]a family is not just a need that a person has but

[8:26]rather it's something that will help a person reach their highest potential

[8:31]in life when you're single you could only reach so much but

[8:35]if you get married you're going to be able to reach much

[8:41]higher Heights and life you're going to be able to achieve much

[8:44]more this is natural when you're married you have family you have

[8:48]children you're going to be able to not only satisfy and fulfill

[8:54]your own pleasures and needs that you have in life but you

[8:57]will be able to also achieve more you'll be able to do

[9:06]more in life and building a family is something that is very

[9:12]important but in order to be successful and in order to reach

[9:16]our highest potential you need to be with the right partner you

[9:23]need to have good chemistry in order to reach your highest potential

[9:27]you need to build good chemistry to build that good relationship either

[9:32]that relationship is going to be healthy it's going to be successful

[9:36]or when the chemistry is not there when it's bad then you're

[9:43]going to have an explosive relationship you're going to have a horrible

[9:48]relationship and you won't be able to achieve much and you won't

[9:51]be able to do anything the relationship is not healthy if the

[9:56]foundations of the relationship are not there and two wrong people get

[10:05]together you find that it becomes disastrous not only for the couple

[10:11]but for communities and societies as a whole of course when we

[10:16]talk about marriage there are many benefits that a person has with

[10:24]regards to marriage and this is why marriage is regarded as a

[10:27]holy institution in the religion of Islam rasul allah sallallahu alehiwassallaam Unni

[10:32]F in Islam eben are on a hobble illa llah he minute

[10:41]assuage no institution and foundation has been built in the religion of

[10:46]Islam more beloved to Allah than the institution of the family than

[10:50]the institution of marriage but of course in order for it to

[10:53]be a successful institution in order for it to be healthy where

[10:59]you are able to reach your highest potential there needs to be

[11:04]compatibility there needs to be good chemistry between the couples and this

[11:08]is what allah subhanaw taala talks about in the quran when allah

[11:15]says women i at sea he and lalibela common and for second

[11:19]as why gently Toscano alaihe from amongst the signs of allah subhanaw

[11:23]taala from the miracles of God in one verse Allah says from

[11:29]the signs of Allah help of Samoa to Allah roof from these

[11:32]signs and the miracles of Allah is how Allah created the universe

[11:35]and the solar system and another verse Allah says women I add

[11:42]to he and from the signs of Allah from amongst the signs

[11:45]of Allah that he created you in pairs and he'll italicum min

[11:52]and fuscia come as wagon lettuce canoe alaihe so that you may

[11:57]find sukoon and tranquility with one another Raja urbane accommodatin what i'ma

[12:05]in the feed I'll akela ayat in little men yet Suffolk Arun

[12:11]Allah places the love and allah subhanaw taala places the mercy within

[12:17]the relationship now of course we know from an Islamic perspective marriage

[12:24]and building a family is considered something that is mustahab something that

[12:31]is recommended however in Islam laws are subject to change laws change

[12:37]based on time based on place between based on circumstances for example

[12:43]eating as moba but in the month of Ramadan during the day

[12:52]what happens to eating it becomes Haram on the day of Eid

[12:55]it becomes watch if it becomes obligatory to break your fast so

[12:58]the laws are subject to change based on time based on place

[13:04]based on the circumstances that a person goes through the original ruling

[13:09]regarding marriage and family building is that its mustahab but something that

[13:13]is liked by a loss of hano to Allah and Rasulullah says

[13:18]as though a drusen nettie famine bloody bouncing Atif alysom in the

[13:23]marriage is my Sunnah it's the tradition of the Prophet whoever turns

[13:27]against the tradition of the Prophet is not from the prophets this

[13:31]is why he says so it is generally recommended however scholars say

[13:38]that laws are subject to change how do lost change if someone

[13:44]is falling in harm if someone is disobeying allah subhanho wa taala

[13:49]because they're not married because they're not married they're disobeying allah subhanaw

[13:57]taala marriage here becomes a duty marriage becomes an obligation now the

[14:02]ruling does not recommend it anymore now it's logic because that is

[14:07]the only way to save yourself from falling in the Haram so

[14:12]marriage is either recommended or it's Rajab however when we come and

[14:18]we talk to many people about marriage in the religion of Islam

[14:24]many people bring up excuses there are many excuses that people bring

[14:29]up always one of the excuses is I'm not ready another excuse

[14:37]is I don't have the money to get married another one is

[14:43]I have not found the right person and there are many excuses

[14:48]that people always bring up when we look at the religion of

[14:52]Islam you see that if the religion of Islam is followed a

[14:59]hundred percent the way it's supposed to be followed all of these

[15:03]excuses are going to be out of the way all of these

[15:06]excuses are not going to be important anymore because the religion of

[15:14]Islam is a system of life it's not just a a way

[15:15]of spirituality of connecting with allah subhana wa ta'ala allah subhana allah

[15:21]has given us a system to live our lives with if we

[15:26]are abiding by the rules of the system we will see that

[15:31]we will not have problems in life we will see that many

[15:33]of our big problems that we think of as being very big

[15:39]they will be solved because the religion of Islam brings a solution

[15:42]to it in fact one of the excuses that people always bring

[15:50]is financially I'm not ready financially I'm not prepared to get married

[15:55]yes there are some people financially they're not ready but Islam offers

[15:59]solutions Islam also offers a lifestyle right now when you live you

[16:10]see individuals groups societies communities they offer to you a lifestyle they

[16:14]tell you this is the right way to live feminist I mean

[16:17]every group of people out there they come and they tell you

[16:20]this is the right lifestyle that you should live this is the

[16:25]lifestyle that you should abide by systems capitalism communism socialism they come

[16:29]and they give you a lifestyle aslam also gives a lifestyle if

[16:33]we abide by and follow the lifestyle of Islam we will find

[16:41]that many problems or so-called problems that we have they're going to

[16:46]be solved regarding the finance finances of marriage allah subhanaw taala gives

[16:52]a solution in the quran allah says actually marriage is one of

[16:59]the solutions to financial problems someone might come and say how's that

[17:03]so how can marriage be a solution to a financial problem when

[17:06]I can't even get married because I have a financial problem a

[17:11]man comes through sort of Lhasa ilaha illa-allah and he tells the

[17:16]Prophet ya know sort of I'm poor or so Allah tells him

[17:18]Russell I used to ask two questions to the youth the men

[17:21]who would come to him first my sort of I would tell

[17:26]them do you have a job you have to have a job

[17:29]every single person needs to work there's no excuse not to be

[17:34]working second rasulallah would ask are you married so this man comes

[17:38]to the prophet and he tells the Prophet I'm poor the Salah

[17:40]tells him are you married he said no I told you I'm

[17:44]poor how can I get married my soul of law tells him

[17:47]get married and you will find that Allah is going to give

[17:49]you get married and you will find that Allah will increase your

[17:56]recipe or wealth the man was shocked he tells the Prophet ya

[17:58]rasulallah how is that I'm telling you I don't have money and

[18:01]you're telling me to go and get married then Lovato's him yes

[18:08]because the Quran says the Quran says 1km income was solanum in

[18:13]a bad economy a cone in Nakano Futaba yoga home alarm and

[18:20]fodhla allah subhanaw taala in the verse of marriage talks about poverty

[18:25]and allah talks about how allah will increase their sustenance and increase

[18:32]the risk of those who do not have so if we abide

[18:35]by the laws of islam we will find that many of our

[18:41]so-called problems will have solutions and I will talk up a little

[18:44]bit about the solutions however when finding when getting married it is

[18:55]very crucial to find the right person how do we know who

[18:57]is the right person to get married to how should I know

[19:03]who is the right person that I will build my life with

[19:05]this is a very important question this is probably the most important

[19:11]question or dilemma that many people have and they're you know at

[19:14]a during the time of their youth during the time that they're

[19:16]looking to get married who is the right person because you're gonna

[19:21]have to live with this person for the rest of your life

[19:23]so it's it's a very big decision that people have to make

[19:32]this is why it's very important to make sure that the right

[19:37]person has been found because today we live in a society where

[19:43]getting out of a marriage and leaving a marriage is also very

[19:47]easy before you know probably 50 years ago the generation of your

[19:52]parents and your grandparents and your great-grandparents divorce was regarded as a

[19:58]taboo even if the couple hate one another they would not get

[20:02]divorced why because everyone in the community is going to look at

[20:08]them everyone's going to talk people are going to say what's going

[20:11]on it goes against the cultural norms today and this society it's

[20:15]a lot easier to escape from an unhealthy relationship to escape from

[20:20]a relationship that is not bringing you happiness so this is why

[20:27]now marriage requires an effort it requires dedication it requires work and

[20:33]in order for it to be a healthy relationship the prerequisites need

[20:36]also to be healthy and they are very important to have the

[20:40]rites prerequisites to find the right person so that you could have

[20:45]the right chemistry because if there's no chemistry there it's going to

[20:49]be an explosive relationship have you seen chemicals you come and you

[20:51]put them that don't match with one another it creates an explosion

[20:57]it doesn't work together so this is why it's very important to

[21:02]find the right person now what are the most important things that

[21:08]a person should have before going into building a family building a

[21:13]relationship the first my dear brothers and sisters many people they come

[21:20]and they say I have not found the right person well before

[21:23]looking for the right person ask yourself am I the right person

[21:29]ask yourself am I ready to get married what is my perspective

[21:35]on family building what is my perspective on building the relationship because

[21:39]oftentimes it's people they're always looking oh she's not good he's not

[21:45]good they're not there's no one there wait hold on a moment

[21:47]ask yourself what is my perspective and am I ready a lot

[21:53]of us were always looking at others but when we look at

[21:56]ourselves we will see that we are not ready we are not

[22:01]prepared we are not fits our perspective towards marriage and family building

[22:06]has not developed yet some people they're really not ready but they

[22:10]want they want to go and get married because it looks nicer

[22:14]on there you know tax write-off for example or it's something that

[22:18]you know it's wedding season and every week we're attending a wedding

[22:22]here and there so then I come and I say you know

[22:26]what I think it's time for me as well well yes aslam

[22:28]does encourage it but it encourages it only when you are ready

[22:32]only when you are equipped only when you are psychologically ready to

[22:38]take up the responsibilities and the duties of a relationship because as

[22:43]we said marriage requires an effort it's not just something that you

[22:48]know you're going to be with this person it's not like your

[22:50]brother or sister that you have you're born and they're born in

[22:54]that family and you have to be with that person and there's

[22:56]no way out of it no it's a relationship that you have

[23:01]to work for you have to strive for and you have to

[23:03]put an effort for it to be successful for it to bring

[23:08]you happiness for it to bring you a relationship that brings tranquility

[23:13]as the palance's women IATA he angelic alaikum men and full circle

[23:18]as wagon lettuce Kanu alaihe so that you may find sukoon and

[23:22]tranquility this is the purpose of marriage today you find many relationships

[23:27]they're very unhealthy it's not a happy relationship why there's a reason

[23:34]one of the reasons is our approach and our perspective and the

[23:39]perspective of society towards marriage is not there islam regards family building

[23:47]and marriage as a sacred institution and the person who wants to

[23:51]get married and who is aiming to have a successful relationship first

[23:59]their first perspective is that i'm doing this to satisfy a loss

[24:04]of hana hana if allah is in the equation it's going to

[24:10]be a healthy relationship if allah is not in the equation it's

[24:13]going to be a sour relationship this is the islamic perspective and

[24:18]everything you do make sure you place a law within the equation

[24:22]you're starting a business place alignment you're starting a relationship a marriage

[24:29]place a loss of hano ta'ala and it's whatever you do make

[24:34]sure you include allah in that equation because allah is the solution

[24:38]to many of our for all of our problems many people when

[24:42]they want to get married they say ok my marriage is here

[24:45]and my mustered my soul at sea Leila's here it's two separate

[24:47]things in Islam it's all mixed in Islam it's all mixed and

[24:53]that is how you build a healthy relationship that is how you

[24:57]build a healthy bond after the marriage of Imam Ali and Fatima

[25:05]two Sahaba rasulullah sallallahu aleyhi to ask fatima to Zara what kind

[25:09]of a husband is Ali of nebith on him are you happy

[25:13]what kind of a relationship is this are you happy with your

[25:16]husband so he tells her how do you find Ali of Navy

[25:20]pilot she comes to him and she tells him Yaris oh la

[25:27]la Ali he is not my own a la la la he

[25:30]is the best partner to help me get closer to allah subhanaw

[25:33]taala the best partner that will help me reach my highest potential

[25:38]and get closer to allah subhanaw taala because we said earlier that

[25:46]everyone has to reach their highest potential and the way to reach

[25:49]your highest potential is through building a relationship what is our potential

[25:53]in life one of our goals in life according to the Quran

[25:58]is to get closer to allah subhanaw taala wa ma khalaqtu l-jinna

[26:01]wa l-insa illa liya were doing the jinn and the humans were

[26:04]created to get closer to allah subhanaw taala so your relationships should

[26:12]be built in a way and the foundation of your relationship should

[26:15]be in a way that brings you closer to allah subhanahu wata'ala

[26:19]so this is the first fixing your perspective and your mindsets regarding

[26:25]family building another my dear brothers and sisters is also it has

[26:30]to do with the self with yourself and that is that a

[26:34]person who is going to build a relationship a person who is

[26:38]looking to get married they need to take this as serious as

[26:42]they can because now you have another person's feelings on the line

[26:49]now you have other families that are being involved if you're not

[26:52]going to take this relationship seriously then you're not ready to get

[26:56]married there are some people they show you I want to get

[26:58]married but then every night he's at the hookah lounge he's smoking

[27:02]and he wants to get married Habibi if you want to get

[27:07]married then you have to settle down you have to spend time

[27:09]with your family you have to decide to dedicate some time for

[27:14]the family if every night you want to hang out with your

[27:16]buddies and your friends and play you know on your game console

[27:19]then how is that going to be building a relationship how are

[27:24]you going to be invested in that relationship you need to be

[27:29]serious today there are some people they come and they say I

[27:32]want the girl to be a Mina I want her to be

[27:33]maja Java I want her to pray so that's a lady I

[27:36]want this and that and then you tell him okay what are

[27:40]you doing oh he's out hanging out with the friends every night

[27:43]and the same goes with the sisters some people they have double

[27:50]standards they want to have an angel but they're living the life

[27:53]of someone who's completely living the opposite life of someone who's an

[27:58]angel that's not how life works my dear brothers and sisters if

[28:01]you want to find someone who's compatible you have to try to

[28:06]be like what that person is you have to try to be

[28:08]like that you want someone who is a muckman you be a

[28:12]minute you want someone who doesn't flirt around with girls and doesn't

[28:15]talk around here and there you also don't do the same so

[28:19]this is it goes both ways and we see that when we

[28:28]take the relationship seriously and in order to take relationship seriously sometimes

[28:34]we have to change habits society here culture here teaches us to

[28:39]follow and go after our desires even if you're not married go

[28:43]ahead and have a legitimate relationship go ahead and look at how

[28:47]long go ahead and try to please yourself in whatever way how

[28:52]far outside the boundaries of marriage society comes and encourages that but

[28:57]if you want to build a relationship you have to make sure

[29:01]that you change some of the habits so that when you go

[29:06]into that relationship and you enter into that relationship you will be

[29:10]equipped and you will be ready this is why before getting into

[29:17]the marriage some of our habits need to be changed some people

[29:20]need to change their habits and I know it's difficult it's not

[29:23]easy because we live in a world of temptations everywhere you look

[29:29]around you there are temptations and it's very easy to fall in

[29:33]the traps of Shaitaan it's very easy to fall to satisfy our

[29:36]temptations and also the society what it does is it throws so

[29:43]many temptations at people but then it makes marriage we difficult marriage

[29:47]also becomes extremely difficult marriage is very expensive marriage is delayed by

[29:54]many people marriage is you know it's thrown at the at the

[29:57]end you have to get your job you have to get a

[29:59]house you have to get a car you have to build yourself

[30:01]sustain yourself and then finally now it's the right time to get

[30:06]married so how is someone supposed to survive with all these temptations

[30:09]thrown at them and yet marriages become so difficult and it's a

[30:14]challenge it's not easy but those who rely on a loss of

[30:20]Hana Hana those who have faith in allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala will deal

[30:24]with those problems those who change their perspective on marriage and on

[30:30]family building and those who take family seriously they will change their

[30:36]habits much before they enter into a relationship today something that is

[30:42]considered to be an addiction in this society in many societies is

[30:48]the addiction to pornography where this is something that ends up delaying

[30:57]relationships delaying marriages and once a person does get into marriage you

[31:03]find that those images that perhaps are frozen in a person's mind

[31:09]those images will end up having a negative impact on the future

[31:18]potential relationship that you have society here teaches you that you know

[31:22]what you have a desire deal with it immediately deal with it

[31:25]and satisfy satisfy it on your own and you don't need to

[31:28]go and build the family you don't need to be dedicated you

[31:31]don't need to sacrifice to build a family go and deal with

[31:36]your desires on the side and that's it you could delay marriage

[31:39]but that's not the purpose of marriage my dear brothers and sisters

[31:42]marriage is not only for satisfying the sexual physical desire marriage satisfies

[31:49]your social desires your psychological needs your spiritual needs your emotional needs

[31:55]all of these are needs that are satisfied in a healthy relationship

[32:00]when society comes and throws temptations at you and tells you you

[32:03]know what you could go and deal with your desires outside of

[32:09]the boundaries of marriage in fact you are not dealing with your

[32:12]desires and your needs outside the boundaries of marriage it's just delaying

[32:17]it and it's causing more problems it's just creating a bubble that

[32:21]is going to burst and this is why you have so many

[32:27]problems that emerge in society another thing regarding the financial issues we

[32:32]talked about it earlier we said that allah subhanaw taala promises to

[32:36]give a financial solution and go ask anyone who's been married ask

[32:41]anyone who's married the majority those who spend wisely and those who

[32:45]don't just go and throw their money away ask them before you

[32:49]were married how were you financially and after you're married how are

[32:54]you financially trust me the majority of them ninety-nine percent of them

[32:58]will tell you we are better off and from Donna most of

[33:02]them will tell you we are better off why so there's a

[33:06]promise by allah subhanaw taala Lhasa and kam I'm in comas elena

[33:10]min ibadiya come Waymire come in the Econo for Cara you've near

[33:14]Milan and from the Halal make them rich however some scholars they

[33:21]say that this just happens because as soon as you say double

[33:25]- you say I got married then Allah is going to bless

[33:30]you this works yes Allah can't do anything Allah Subhan Allah Allah

[33:34]Karim Allah khuda deshay Allah when he sells something convey a corn

[33:37]B and it becomes but other scholars they come and they analyze

[33:43]this from a psychological perspective from a social perspective when you are

[33:48]serious about marriage when you are looking to get married and you

[33:52]are invested in this relationship are you going to spend your nights

[33:55]outside are you going to spend your money in the mall or

[34:00]are you going to spend your money on a down payment on

[34:01]a house you don't spend your money on rent you're going to

[34:05]spend your money on something that is going to be good for

[34:09]the family how is it those who are married and those who

[34:15]are responsible instead of going and buying new you know shoes or

[34:20]clothes or something you know out there every week they're going to

[34:24]go and start building a family they're going to start building a

[34:26]house they're going to start building a home and that is how

[34:32]a loss of hanasanai will begin to bless your money you know

[34:37]sometimes Allah blesses the money that you have you find two people

[34:41]they make for example $1,000 a month one person there's no blessing

[34:48]whatsoever in their money it comes and it goes and that's it

[34:51]there's no blessing and you find another person that would that one

[34:55]thousand dollars they're able to achieve so much they're able to go

[35:02]so much with it as Baraka and as a blessing in it

[35:06]who is the one that places the barakah in your wealth who

[35:08]is the one that places the blessings in your money it's a

[35:14]loss of Hana Hana Allah is the one who places the blessings

[35:16]and the money that you have but you need to change your

[35:22]habits you need to change your lifestyle and how you're living your

[35:27]life once you change then you will find that the right individuals

[35:31]will come and you will begin to find the right people sometimes

[35:34]you don't even need to go looking you might find the right

[35:38]person will come to you there is a scholar by the name

[35:45]of Muhammad this is he's a known scholar say admir'd Ahmad this

[35:50]was a couple hundred years ago this scholar it is said that

[35:55]he was sitting in his house ax in the school he was

[35:59]studying in the middle of the night he has a small room

[36:00]in a huge building in a house' and he's sitting and he's

[36:06]studying and there's one candle that's lit and he's reading from that

[36:09]candle that night there was a storm there was a storm and

[36:16]it began to rain very heavily so he's sitting in his small

[36:20]and he's studying at the same time the princess there's a princess

[36:30]in the city and she goes out she goes out and she's

[36:34]visiting her friends her family whatever it is and in the middle

[36:40]of the storm she gets lost in the middle of the storm

[36:44]she gets lost so where she's supposed to go she loses the

[36:47]people she's with she loses the entourage she's with so she's walking

[36:51]and it's raining it's pouring she sees this house' right in front

[36:56]of her so she says the safest place for me to goes

[36:58]in this house' and this place where there's pious men there studying

[37:02]she goes she knocks on the door it was apparently a weekend

[37:07]or you know there was no one there she keeps knocking knocking

[37:13]knocking this man he hears he's in his room he hears someone

[37:15]is knocking he goes and he opens the door and once he

[37:22]opens the door they opened she opens the door he sees it's

[37:25]the princess a very beautiful princess right in front of him she

[37:30]tells him I'm lost I need a place to stay I need

[37:31]something somewhere to go he looks he tries to open the other

[37:37]doors they're all locked the only place where he could stay is

[37:40]in his room what is he supposed to do it's raining it's

[37:44]in the middle of the night where is he going to bring

[37:46]anyone how is he going to call anyone he decides to wait

[37:51]outside he sees it's pouring so he comes in the room and

[37:56]he brings her in the room he brings her in the room

[37:58]and shape on comes to him there's she's a princess she's right

[38:02]next to him in the room and there's no one there shaitaan

[38:06]comes next to him he has this candle right in front of

[38:12]him it's lit every time he has a negative thoughts he places

[38:15]his finger on the fire and then it's burning him he's dealing

[38:22]with the pain and then an hour later thirty minutes later he

[38:25]gets the thought again he places his next finger on the fire

[38:27]and then then an hour in places the next finger and the

[38:32]next finger until the night burns all of his fingers it becomes

[38:37]morning she leaves she slept she didn't notice anything she slept then

[38:44]the king he comes and he calls him a few days later

[38:46]and he sees his hands and apparently she noticed that this man

[38:52]did not hurt her he did not do anything she knew that

[38:54]and the king he sees his hands they're burnt the King tells

[38:59]him listen I did not find anyone suitable for my daughter other

[39:02]than you other than you you are the one who is the

[39:08]most suitable and compatible for my daughter and he marries the daughter

[39:12]and he becomes known as mere dammit mere Dhamma that means the

[39:15]son-in-law of the Emir the son-in-law of the Prince the son-in-law of

[39:19]the King basically and he became known as a great scholar who

[39:27]was mere damad so allah subhanaw taala will send the right person

[39:30]to you if you are ready and if you are serious and

[39:36]if your perspective is ready now what should someone look for or

[39:40]what do people look for first typically when someone is getting married

[39:44]what's the first thing people look for looks beauty that's the first

[39:49]thing people look for now there's nothing wrong with looking for beauty

[39:53]because you don't want to wake up next to someone who is

[39:58]going to scare you so beauty is okay but we need to

[40:05]make sure that our priorities are straight and a hadith from rasulullah

[40:11]sallallahu alayhi wa he says yeah come La Habra at Dimond he

[40:14]tells the muslims he tells them be careful from the green beauty

[40:20]that grows on the dumps you know sometimes there's trash there's dumps

[40:26]and there's some green starts growing on the trash Rasool Allah says

[40:31]a yakumo kurama a demon so they taught us sort of what

[40:37]do you mean he says be careful from the green that grows

[40:39]on the trash so Allah tells them what it what do you

[40:44]mean he tells them al maraa actual has na fee member to

[40:47]sue he says eh beautiful lady that is growing up in a

[40:50]bad environment or from a bad family or she does not have

[40:55]the right personality so to sort of LA what he's trying to

[40:59]say is focus on the personality focus on who she is rather

[41:02]than her looks second another thing that people typically look for is

[41:07]wealth people typically they want to marry into a wealthy family they

[41:14]want to marry into a really wealthy family someone who's rich someone

[41:17]who's powerful someone who has money whether it's the girl or the

[41:22]man this is also there's nothing wrong with marrying someone who's wealthy

[41:28]however this should not be a priority because my dear brothers and

[41:33]sisters believe me wealth does not bring happiness wealth it's supposed to

[41:39]serve you but some people they live their lives in a way

[41:44]where they are in service of the money they become victims and

[41:47]they become tied into the chains of the money that they have

[41:49]they're controlled by the money you say everything is in their life

[41:56]success is defined by how much how much was this where did

[41:58]you go how much did you spend how much was your wedding

[42:02]how much was your your your dress all of these things but

[42:05]in reality you will see that that is not what brings happiness

[42:11]happiness is an emotion and your emotions are controlled by allah subhanaw

[42:18]taala Allah will bring you the happiness and the feeling of contentment

[42:22]that you are looking for so what should a person look for

[42:25]we said typically people look for wealth and beauty there's nothing wrong

[42:29]with those but those should not be a priority what should a

[42:33]person look for what should be your priority when looking to build

[42:38]a relationship the first answers faith my dear brothers and sisters faith

[42:43]allah subhanaw taala says in the quran well attention mucho riccati hot

[42:49]men well I met Ron more minutes on hey Ron men with

[42:56]Sri kuttan well o our Jamaat come Allah says do not marry

[42:58]someone who is a mush a lady who's an idol worshiper because

[43:06]a slave who is a believer is better than an idol worshiper

[43:09]who's free and the same Allah says when I attend commercial Akina

[43:13]Hitomi know when I've done movement on hey Ranma Mulliken Aloha Jo

[43:17]become and same with the girls don't marry a mush like someone

[43:23]who's an idol worshiper even if this person's rich marrying a slave

[43:28]who's among men is better than marrying someone who has no faith

[43:32]in Allah subhana WA Ta'ala so faith is very important my dear

[43:39]brothers and sisters faith is a very important ingredient to living happily

[43:44]in this life and in the afterlife and faith believe it or

[43:47]not real faith I'm not talking about just people who act faithful

[43:51]because there's a lot of people who dress faithfully and act faithfully

[43:54]but there's no essence real faith will change your life and real

[44:02]faith will bring real happiness to marriage real happiness to a relationship

[44:08]why because the one who has faith in Allah subhana WA Ta'ala

[44:12]even when they're angry even when they're upset they know that Allah

[44:16]is in this relationship they know that Allah is watching them but

[44:20]the one who has no faith in Allah this person doesn't care

[44:23]this person has no boundaries this person has no laws what's the

[44:29]whole purpose of marriage why do we do cats Vic Taub we

[44:31]do that to place Allah in the relationship and when allies in

[44:36]the relationship that means there's going to be rules and laws that

[44:39]you have to respect and you have to abide by but the

[44:41]ones who don't want to have a lot in the relationship or

[44:44]those who don't want to have a relationship a legitimate relationship with

[44:48]God in it they want to say no no I don't want

[44:52]the rules of God I want my own rules the day I

[44:55]get angry I walk out the day I want to be invested

[44:56]in the relationship I'll be invested the day I want to scream

[45:00]the day I want to yell the day I want to throw

[45:04]things I'll start doing that but those who have a line they

[45:06]know that Allah is watching them there are laws and there are

[45:12]rules to abide by a man comes asks imam husain knowledge Salam

[45:16]he tells him he tells and I have daughters and I have

[45:18]men who come and propose to marry my daughters who should I

[45:23]give my daughter to the man tells him and I'm saying doesn't

[45:26]tell him give her to a well-off person give her to a

[45:30]person who's from a good family someone who's Arab someone who's listened

[45:34]not know the Imam Ali Saddam he tells him marry her to

[45:37]a person who fears allah subhana wa ta'ala because even if he

[45:42]had an issue with her he's not going to oppress her because

[45:44]he knows allah is there he knows God is there he knows

[45:49]allah subhanaw taala as in the relationship second when you're looking to

[45:56]marry someone study their manners study their etiquette how are they with

[46:00]people how are they when they're angry how do they act when

[46:03]they're upset some people in front of you they're very nice and

[46:09]they're smiling but the moment they become angry it's like this person

[46:13]became a totally different person 180 degrees difference they totally change this

[46:19]is dangerous so when you're looking to build a relationship make sure

[46:24]that a person is not going to be very different when they're

[46:28]angry when they're emotional when they're upset some people and they're angry

[46:32]that's it it's like it's a totally different person and this is

[46:38]why a slap is very important Allah doesn't mean that someone might

[46:42]say yeah naturally I'm just angry what am I supposed to do

[46:47]yes naturally you're angry but a flock and abiding by the laws

[46:50]of Allah means that you have to go against your nature it

[46:53]means that even if you're naturally angry some people they naturally get

[46:56]angry like me sometimes some people they naturally get upset but if

[47:05]you are if you are god-fearing you have to try to control

[47:09]that feeling you have to try to control that anger and not

[47:13]deal and deal with it and the best way possible this is

[47:16]the purpose the difference between a minute and on movement someone who

[47:20]has fear of Allah and the one who does not have fear

[47:21]of Allah the one who does not have fear of Allah when

[47:25]they're angry they go and they do whatever the one who has

[47:29]fear of Allah they are they do get angry sometimes but they

[47:34]try to control their anger because they know Allah is there so

[47:36]here the hadith says Raja a commenter loan Adina wahoo looka if

[47:44]someone comes and you see that this person has D in faith

[47:47]and this person has good Aflac good manners and this applies to

[47:54]both man and woman and when we look at the eyelid beit

[47:56]elohim salaam when we look at Rasul Allah when we look at

[48:01]the a debate you see that they would control their emotions and

[48:05]their anger rasul allah he tells the muslims hey yo calm hyaaaah

[48:11]calmly I wanna hear calmly Ali he says the best out of

[48:16]you Muslims is the one who is the best towards his or

[48:18]her partner and I am the best towards my partner's you know

[48:22]when you read the Islamic history you see that sometimes some of

[48:25]the wives of the Prophet they would give him a headache they

[48:28]would give him a very difficult time they would conspire against the

[48:33]Prophet some of them Allah talks about it in the Quran but

[48:39]Rasul Allah always had the best of luck always had the best

[48:41]etiquettes he wouldn't deal with them only in the most appropriate way

[48:51]because someone who has bad etiquette someone who has bad morals is

[48:55]going to destroy everything be a mummy and be a believer be

[48:57]someone who prays salat silane but if you're someone who no one

[49:02]could sit around you no one could talk with you and you

[49:04]don't flip out and you start going crazy then no one's going

[49:09]to be able to be with you no one's going to be

[49:10]able to build a relationship with you so this is why we

[49:15]have to be very careful when you're finding someone you have to

[49:18]be very careful that this person has the proper etiquette and proper

[49:24]morality fatima zahra s-salam she tells Ameer al-mumineen she tells Ameer al-mumineen

[49:31]ma I hate any caliber well ha ha in a well after

[49:37]I left - come on - I sure took heed she tells

[49:41]him Oh son I never lied to you I never did anything

[49:43]to hurt you I never did anything to wrong you throughout the

[49:46]whole time that I was married with you and he tells her

[49:51]yes Oh Fatima this is how you were my I the law

[49:55]yes Fatima this is exactly how you were never once that she

[49:57]angered him and he says never once did I anger her imagine

[50:04]a marriage that no one angers one another this is you know

[50:07]something that's very hard to find but it requires dedication it requires

[50:12]work another very important point to look for we mentioned Iman and

[50:16]we mentioned o'clock another very important priority is compatibility person's personality maybe

[50:24]someone has the bust o'clock and this person is a very men

[50:28]a very good believer but they're not compatible with one another what

[50:31]are you going to do if they're not compatible with one another

[50:36]it's really difficult so this is why compatibility is very important and

[50:42]here we understand why Islam gives that period where it allows individuals

[50:46]to get to know one another you're supposed to get to know

[50:49]one another before people used to blindly get married and they have

[50:55]to deal with one another but today the times have changed where

[50:58]you need to get to know that person now yes some people

[51:01]they come and they want to get to know that person for

[51:04]three years no it doesn't take three years it doesn't even take

[51:07]more than three months to get to know one another you get

[51:10]to know one another you say a few times in a respectable

[51:16]gathering where the family's there they said they get to know one

[51:18]another they talk about their interests their likes their dislikes and you

[51:21]get to know one another some people you see them they're together

[51:23]for months and years and they're like yeah I'm just trying to

[51:28]get to know her or she's trying to get to know him

[51:30]that's not how it works so here as how these are things

[51:39]important qualities to look for when looking to get married when liket

[51:44]when looking to build a relationship with one another we ask Allah

[51:47]Subhanahu WA Ta'ala to help all of those who are not married

[51:52]and searching for the right spouse to find the right person everyone

[51:58]with your loudest voices say I mean only the man said I

[52:06]mean Muhammad Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah meeya allah ya allah

[52:17]ar-rahman ar-rahim yarmulke label oops a bit cooler Bana Aladin ik Allah

[52:23]Berlin Menino and Menards Allah Ameen home want a banana obey no

[52:33]humble hearts in the kimochi buddha wat in the cacophony at in

[52:38]nakama i say at an ekala kulla shay'in qadir yeah Ali oh

[52:48]yeah Adam Yaga for oh yah rahim and servable Ali Malaysia chemistry

[52:54]che was Simeon messiah hod hasharon Atlanta Hawk aramta washer left the

[53:01]home of a Volta ah - wah wah wah shahrullah DeForest se

[53:09]llaman ho la voie shahru ramadana Levien's el toffee helper on Hotel

[53:18]Nico Banna terminal ho da one photon wajal toffee laylatul card wah-ha-ha-ha

[53:26]kawaman alpha Phaeton manual a human no awake Mauna ala habibika Kira

[53:34]table a team in an RV montemagno la what Colonel Jana Mira

[53:41]mashi Kia Aroha Marah he mean salam ala muhammadin wa ala green

[53:59]Thank You sage for that beautiful lecture and sha Allah one day

[54:03]we'll see each and every one of us with our significant other

[54:05]I'd like to direct you all now to our bonfire outside if

[54:10]you could please join us it will be starting in a couple

[54:12]minutes and it will go on to 1 a.m.

[54:14]and sha Allah thank you and Celina Mohammed Ali Mohammed

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التالي

Sayed Saleh Qazwini - Finding the Right Spouse - Ramadhan Night 27

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التالي

Sayed Saleh Qazwini - Finding the Right Spouse - Ramadhan Night 27

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