Night 8 - How to Divorce with Grace | Shaykh Azhar Nasser, Muharram 2023

22 Views· 24/06/21

Wessex Jamaat
Subscribers

In Other

Muharram Majalis 1445/2023
Wessex Jamaat

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views or position of Wessex Jamaat & Al Mahdi Centre, its affiliates, members, office bearers or Trustees.

Donate now & support the majalis at: https://www.paypal.com/donate/....?hosted_button_id=WZ

Guest Speaker: Shaykh Azhar Nasser, Tasneem Institute
Venue: Al Mahdi Centre, Wessex Jamaat

Transcript

[0:00]foreign [Music] all right [Music] foreign foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign [Music]

[1:48][Music] [Music] on Muhammad respected Elders brothers and sisters the purpose of

[2:36]this lecture is not to encourage divorce in fact a man should

[2:46]never encourage something that is discouraged by the Sharia when you look

[2:54]at the statements of the Albert tomorrow they in fact not only

[3:11]discourage they strongly discourage talaq in fact you would be surprised at

[3:15]how strong the language is in their discouragement of palak for instance

[3:22]when you look at a narration that's attributed to Imam foreign get

[3:41]married and do not divorce is get married build families have healthy

[3:56]marriages and do not divorce for divorce shakes the ash of Allah

[4:05]in another statement that we have from the sixth Imam he says

[4:12]Earth verily Allah he loves that house that contains a happily married

[4:25]couple and Allah detests that house we're in it there's divorce where

[4:37]the family is falling apart in fact some of our some of

[4:45]our contemporary jurists actually say that if a couple is about to

[4:53]divorce if a couple is having problems marital conflict and let's say

[4:57]that it becomes known to the community to some people in the

[5:00]community that this couple is headed for palak some of our contemporary

[5:08]they say it is for someone in the community to intervene it's

[5:14]a communal obligation to rescue this marriage and if the community knows

[5:19]and no one makes any effort at Isla the entire Community is

[5:25]responsible for Allah now when you look at the ruayaks and you

[5:33]look at the statements of our you would think that this is

[5:42]a community that has a very low divorce rate but on the

[5:47]contrary oftentimes what you see is more than 50 percent of marriages

[5:52]I'm not talking about non-muslims I'm talking about Muslims I'm talking about

[5:57]Shia Muslims I would say maybe the number is closer to 60

[6:05]percent of marriages they end in palak now why is this happening

[6:10]of course there are many reasons why marriages Fall Apart but I

[6:16]think a big part of it is related to the fact that

[6:22]we enter the marriage with a wrong mindset as I alluded to

[6:27]in my earlier lectures what do I mean by this many people

[6:31]who are married or who don't want to be married anymore if

[6:35]they want to get married why do they want to marry this

[6:39]person Sheikh he makes me happy she makes me happy why don't

[6:44]you want to be married anymore he doesn't make me happy she

[6:47]doesn't make me happy you see even the language that we use

[6:53]the attitude that we have is that I am in this marriage

[6:57]because it makes me happy it's about me some of us are

[7:04]so self-absorbed that the entire institution of marriage is about me it's

[7:09]about my happiness now if you look at the statement of Islam

[7:16]one day after his wedding the prophet he went and visited the

[7:22]newlyweds he went and visited and his daughter Fatima the first day

[7:28]of their marriage the day after their wedding rasulullah he says to

[7:34]the Imam he says how did you find your new wife say

[7:45]does she say ya rasulullah she makes me happy what did he

[7:54]say he says he says she is the best partner in seeking

[8:02]the pleasure of Allah if you are entering the marriage because it

[8:08]makes it makes you this person makes me happy if it's about

[8:12]happiness I guarantee you your marriage is probably not going to last

[8:17]why because happiness is a very temporary fickle emotion in fact if

[8:26]you come to even people that have a healthy marriage there are

[8:31]many days when a person doesn't feel happy and sometimes we don't

[8:35]even know why we're not happy you are basic marriage and divorce

[8:41]on Something like Happiness this is absolutely ridiculous I mean think about

[8:48]the sense of entitlement I am marrying you because you make me

[8:51]happy as if it's someone else's job to make you happy happiness

[8:56]is an inside job that's your job to put the responsibility of

[9:03]Happ your happiness on someone else what kind of mentality is this

[9:09]what kind of narcissism is this so what is more important than

[9:17]happiness is purpose but the problem is many people they don't find

[9:23]purpose in their marriage why because they don't even understand the purpose

[9:26]of their lives how can your marriage have purpose if you don't

[9:31]your life doesn't even have purpose oftentimes what makes us happy is

[9:38]not even aligned with what is pleasing to Allah what kind of

[9:42]marriage is this you might have someone yeah they make you happy

[9:44]because they're a foster he listens to music he takes you to

[9:49]this dinner party and this is what makes you happy so this

[9:53]is a healthy marriage your happiness is a problem actually the fact

[9:56]that you're happy with this lifestyle that's a problem you have a

[9:59]spiritual disease so what is more important than happiness is to have

[10:06]purpose in life to see that your marriage is serving a higher

[10:09]purpose that this is a journey of spiritual growth we are on

[10:15]a journey towards Allah because if you if your marriage has purpose

[10:20]the natural byproduct is what it's Joy Joy if you have purpose

[10:28]in your life you don't need to be chasing after habit you'll

[10:31]have joy something more stable this is number one so as an

[10:37]introduction it's important for us to state that Islam discourages number one

[10:42]and many of Mer of our marriages are falling apart because we

[10:47]don't even approach it with an Islamic mindset it's all about the

[10:50]Neffs nefc and FC and FC that's the problem now yes some

[10:55]marriages end because of more serious issues they end because of other

[11:01]reasons sometimes marriages end because of infidelity some marriages end because of

[11:05]interference from relatives sometimes a marriage ends because of violence domestic violence

[11:17]verbal physical in some cases now this lecture is not about how

[11:23]to prevent it because that requires another discussion the problem is there

[11:29]are many people who want to get divorced and sometimes we have

[11:33]to admit you see Islam is a religion of practicality there are

[11:36]some people who are just not compatible there are some people who

[11:42]have irreconcilable differences Islam recognizes that sometimes although it's discouraged sometimes is

[11:50]necessary sometimes it has to happen now the question is how should

[11:58]I navigate palak how should I go through divorce because as a

[12:06]movement if you entered this marriage through the law of Allah why

[12:11]do you think you can exit it without the law of God

[12:15]think about that I'll say that this again so it gets embedded

[12:21]in our minds you entered this zawaj through the law of Allah

[12:26]you better leave it and exit it also through the law of

[12:30]Allah it's not a game the Quran says this relationship is it's

[12:37]a very serious Covenant it's not a game it's not a joke

[12:42]now I want to share 10 things 10 things that Believers have

[12:51]to keep in mind if they decide that khalas we have to

[12:56]separate number one in fact before I mention the first one if

[13:01]you look at he speaks about divorce sort of 65.

[13:09]what you find is when Allah gives instructions about embedded in those

[13:17]instructions is foreign be conscious of Allah know that Allah sees you

[13:24]why this emphasis on taqwa if there is any moment if there

[13:32]is any situation where people lackawa people act as if Allah is

[13:39]on vacation Allah is not watching there's no thought there's no god-consciousness

[13:43]so number one the first thing that we have to keep in

[13:51]mind in order to divorce with grace to divorce in compliance with

[13:54]the law of Allah is that we have to observe we have

[14:01]to observe the waiting periods Allah he says in when a divorce

[14:20]takes place if this marriage was consummated and the woman for example

[14:26]is not an older woman who's in menopause there is a waiting

[14:32]period and this waiting period is something that Allah requires us to

[14:36]observe that means you as a wife just because you don't like

[14:42]your husband you don't just leave and then you get into another

[14:46]relationship there's a waiting period there's there's respect for the sanctity of

[14:50]this bond that you have there's a waiting period and you o

[14:54]husband just because you recited or you found someone else because you

[14:57]don't even know how to recycle you don't know the basics of

[15:03]the account after you recite of palak with its conditions she's still

[15:10]your wife there is there is a waiting period now some people

[15:15]might ask well how come a man doesn't have a they're just

[15:20]for the woman again we go back to the original argument that's

[15:26]it because Allah commanded Allah Knows Best men and women are different

[15:31]so why should they be treated the same just keep it some

[15:35]egg is there so then what does Allah say it's not a

[15:40]joke oh you know we did the sir a month and a

[15:43]half it's it's felt it's felt like a long time let's move

[15:46]on I want to get married and that's it Allah says and

[15:49]count there it's not a joke four months and ten days not

[16:02]four months and nine days ten days precision when Allah says ten

[16:09]days it means 10.

[16:09]Allah says again be conscious of God don't play games with the

[16:18]laws of Allah so what is the end of a woman [Music]

[16:32]there are three purities that you have to go through you cannot

[16:38]divorce a woman who is menstruating you have to wait and if

[16:43]she's not menstruating you cannot initiate the divorce if you were intimate

[16:47]with her during that period of purity so you do the palak

[16:52]she's in her period of Purity she has her first cycle after

[16:58]that second purity she has her next cycle when she when she

[17:03]gets to the third the beginning of the third cycle that has

[17:10]finished you cannot enter into any marriage during this period you have

[17:18]to observe it there are some people they take these issues lightly

[17:21]she's still in there and she's talking to this guy and they're

[17:24]planning you have to respect the institution of marriage you have to

[17:29]respect this it has to be observed now number two and of

[17:35]course if the woman is pregnant is when the child was born

[17:40]and then they're at the ends number two when your wife is

[17:49]in there in the sight of God she's still your wife when

[17:53]you are in there that man who you don't like who you

[17:59]hate who you despise is still your husband that means the husband

[18:04]is not allowed to kick his wife out of the house there's

[18:07]some brothers they don't fear Allah they're upset they want to separate

[18:13]and he kicks he sends her back to her family who said

[18:15]that you're allowed to do that you're not allowed to kick her

[18:19]out of the house she is not allowed to leave either now

[18:22]of course in situations where is there is danger for example to

[18:28]a person's safety these are exceptions but generally speaking she remains in

[18:33]her house you don't run away from each other you don't kick

[18:36]her out in fact you know speaking about makeup you know we

[18:40]spoke a lot about makeup do you know when it's most recommended

[18:42]for a woman to wear makeup during the Edna so that perhaps

[18:48]Allah May rekindle the love between them they should be kind to

[18:56]each other that may be something that spark will be reignited so

[19:00]Allah again going back to Surah Allah says don't kick these women

[19:09]out of their houses some men they kick their wives out as

[19:17]if they're strangers as if this is not sometimes the mother of

[19:20]your children what happened to all of the years that you spent

[19:22]with each other you just kick her out as if you're just

[19:26]taking out the garbage the rubbish the wife you can't leave you

[19:38]have to observe the law of Allah unless for example this is

[19:46]a woman who's committing adultery and these are exceptional cases but the

[19:51]general rule of thumb is that during the husband and wife are

[19:57]together this period is meant to be a period where there is

[19:59]hope for reconciliation and then what does Allah say sometimes we take

[20:08]these things very lightly so what does Allah say Allah these are

[20:13]the limits of Allah these are Allah's red lines if you exceed

[20:25]the limits of Allah some people think that they're smart they want

[20:29]to break the rules because they think that they're going to get

[20:31]ahead it's to their advantage Allah says whoever exceeds the limits of

[20:37]Allah the only one that they're hurting is their own selves because

[20:40]there's a hisab for this when you kicked your wife out I

[20:46]don't care how much you want on ziara and you there you

[20:48]will be questioned about this on the day of judgment at the

[20:58]end of the Ayah the wisdom behind this as I've alluded to

[21:02]Allah says if you follow Allah's laws you don't know maybe Allah

[21:13]will bring about something new maybe the problem will be resolved maybe

[21:18]something will happen and there will be a change of Hearts Allah

[21:23]is but we have 50 60 divorces because people don't respect had

[21:29]Allah this is the problem they don't respect the limits that are

[21:32]set by Allah now let's say you get to the end of

[21:38]the three periods the three purities they pass usually about three months

[21:48]when they reach the end of their term the end of their

[21:54]waiting period Allah is addressing the husbands now [Music] if you want

[22:03]to retain your wife retain her in kindness don't keep her because

[22:09]you want to continue abusing her retain her in kindness there are

[22:16]some men this is their mentality he doesn't want to act like

[22:20]a husband but he doesn't want to also divorce her he wants

[22:23]to keep her trapped a lot speaking to these types of men

[22:27]Allah says foreign if you want to keep her act like husband

[22:36]treat her like your wife if you don't plan on doing that

[22:43]release her release her Allah says don't release her with enmity and

[22:49]animosity retain her with kindness and also Allah says what or release

[22:57]her with kindness it doesn't need to be a war why does

[23:00]divorce always have to be a war release her with kindness now

[23:09]number three Allah in the Quran he reminds us of something else

[23:17]that we should do during palak and that is that we should

[23:22]be easy going and make concessions there are some people they don't

[23:26]want to make any concessions they want their haq times 10.

[23:32]they want everything including the kitchen sink nothing I have to take

[23:41]everything I will not compromise look at what Allah says in Surat

[23:44]al-baqarah verse 237 if you divorce a woman your wife before you

[23:53]consummate the marriage you have to still give her her mouth you

[23:59]give her half of her Bridal gift half of the mother the

[24:01]Quran says this is an obligation you have to give her half

[24:10]and then what does Allah say Allah except if the woman says

[24:18]you know what keep the half I don't want the half oh

[24:22]yeah foreign the man might say you know what I want to

[24:28]give you your full Mahar I compromise I make a concession Allah

[24:33]says this mentality this is closer to takawa for each side to

[24:40]at least work with each other to make some compromises to make

[24:43]conception some some concessions to to compromise and make concessions over things

[24:52]that are you there you're right yes it's your do right but

[24:58]Allah says it's closer to piety if you pardon I pardon the

[25:02]Maha I know I'm only obligated to give you half but here

[25:05]take more I know I'm you are required to give me half

[25:07]but it's okay I pardon make it easier do we do this

[25:14]today we don't do this today what happens is today unfortunately we

[25:20]try not only to get our haq we try to get the

[25:24]hack of the other person we hire we don't go to Africa

[25:30]people people only come to Alama when they want in the car

[25:32]right when they want a divorce they go to this attorney and

[25:37]that lawyer and this lawyer they go to attorneys now what happens

[25:42]is sometimes people and I have to say this and this is

[25:49]I'm not going to mince my words here sometimes you have situations

[25:53]where a woman for example is getting she's going through a divorce

[25:57]and she has friends who are also divorced now this is not

[26:05]always the case there are some divorced women who fear Allah and

[26:08]they give good advice but there are some divorced women what do

[26:13]they do they egg the woman on they say you know what

[26:17]I'll find you the best lawyer so you can punish this guy

[26:21]you're a queen subhanallah these days everyone is a queen there's no

[26:25]subjects everybody's just Queens I'll get you the best lawyer we will

[26:29]make him pay he doesn't deserve you this and that they egg

[26:34]her on and what does she do she hires a lawyer not

[26:36]to just get her mom now if she's not getting her Mahar

[26:40]and there's no way for her to get her how there's a

[26:42]justification for that but what are we doing what happens here no

[26:48]no make him pay punish him get your mahad and also get

[26:56]him to pay you 10 years of spousal support 10 years of

[27:00]spousal support and they act as if this is a victory for

[27:04]them that even though this is your ex-husband for the next 10

[27:07]years you have to give her enough of that you have to

[27:10]provide for him so what do we say about this what we

[27:14]say is this money that you receive that is more than your

[27:19]right this is this is unlawful money now your girlfriends might be

[27:26]cheering you on but your girlfriends are going to be nowhere to

[27:29]be found when you stand before Allah on the day of judgment

[27:31]you collect month after month spousal support and maybe subhanallah in some

[27:36]places you can get remarried and the ex-husband has to continue to

[27:41]pay spousal support imagine he has to fund your new marriage so

[27:46]what happens you collect you collect and let's say you want to

[27:52]buy an apartment right you want to diversify your portfolio you buy

[27:56]this house with this spousal support but I have news for you

[27:59]this is Russ you can't do your Salat in there you bought

[28:03]clothes with this spousal support money your Salah because it's gospel and

[28:09]sometimes it's the other way around you might have a husband who

[28:13]does the same thing to his wife I've heard of Brothers in

[28:18]our communities they take their wives to court during a divorce and

[28:23]they find a way to get their Ex-Wives to give them spousal

[28:31]support imagine that as says what kind of men are you why

[28:36]are you taking more than you do and to my dear sisters

[28:41]there is a very bitter reality that I want to share with

[28:42]you not all of the people who pretend to be your friends

[28:50]are really your friends there are some there are some women who

[28:55]handle divorce with Grace and there are other women who are very

[28:58]jaded who are carrying a lot of trauma they're miserable so you

[29:05]know what happens when that friend sees that you're going through a

[29:08]divorce it makes her feel better about herself that she's not the

[29:15]only divorcing so she'll actually end up giving you bad advice because

[29:17]now it's like a little club and we have maybe a new

[29:23]member joining right so we give bad advice be careful who is

[29:27]around you during a divorce there are some people that are going

[29:30]to push you and pressure you to commit the ultimate Haram which

[29:36]is to take be careful so the Quran says we have to

[29:42]make concessions this is better Allah says this is closer to taqwa

[29:46]and there's an eye in the Quran that if you're going through

[29:51]a divorce this is an Ayah that you should keep in mind

[29:53]the end of the Ayah verse 237 what does Allah say Allah

[29:59]says Allah says do not forget the favors that each of you

[30:07]show to each other you were married for 10 years I know

[30:10]you're angry now emotions are running now but don't forget the good

[30:16]that that woman also did for you you don't like your husband

[30:21]you're angry with him emotions are running High don't say he was

[30:24]miserable I never saw any goodness from him Allah says listen do

[30:28]not forget the following that you guys did for each other remember

[30:33]the good don't be extreme be fair just because you were wrong

[30:44]it doesn't mean that you get to reciprocate be fair this is

[30:47]the mother of your children you had good days you might not

[30:51]remember but there were days where you were happy out of respect

[30:53]for those days conduct yourself with integrity conduct yourself with honor in

[31:00]Allah Allah is watching you again emphasis on taqwa they don't think

[31:10]that there's there's no Authority observing you pay attention to the way

[31:14]that you behave number four give her her Dowry give her Maha

[31:22]for the love of God give her Mahar there are some brothers

[31:24]it's as if he has Amnesia I don't remember what it was

[31:29]was it ten thousand dollars or ten dollars I really can't remember

[31:32]what was the mob no you remember but you don't want to

[31:36]give it you want to make excuses this is a debt upon

[31:40]you you can't say well I gave her this gift or that

[31:44]gift that's a separate issue the mahada separate and that's why the

[31:49]brothers who enter into marriages the Mahar is not just this symbolic

[31:54]number if you say that the Mahar is a hundred thousand it's

[31:58]a hundred thousand it's not just this romantic gesture it's adapt you

[32:03]have to pay it these are not just fantasy numbers you have

[32:07]to pay the debt if you have the money you're not allowed

[32:11]to delay it by one day you give it you don't hold

[32:15]on to it it's her right so some people they hold on

[32:19]to it as a punishment because they're just they want to be

[32:23]evil they want to be vengeful they refuse to give the the

[32:29]Maha we have a narration from Imam he says Imam he says

[32:40]there are three types of Thieves three types of Thieves the one

[32:48]who doesn't pay the obligatory religious dues someone who doesn't pay homes

[32:52]this is like the ultimate Thief he steals from Zaman the person

[32:58]who doesn't gives zakat and chromes he's a thief he's stealing from

[33:01]the and ultimately he's stealing from his Imam and then the Imam

[33:09]says the one who doesn't pay the mahara Imam asada not me

[33:16]Imam Assad that was saying you're a thief you're a thief you

[33:21]have to give it it doesn't belong to you and then the

[33:28]third Thief is who the one who takes alone and has no

[33:32]intention of giving it back Imam says this is a thief I've

[33:37]seen this there are some husbands they take a loan from their

[33:43]wives he uses her credit cards she gives them permission he he

[33:46]maxes it out he takes a loan from her and act he

[33:51]acts as though it's your problem this is a debt that you

[33:54]owe her you have to pay it back number five learn to

[33:59]forgive each other I don't want to forgive him he's an animal

[34:05]she's a witch she's this she's that I don't want to forgive

[34:09]her it's not about her for you it's for your own good

[34:13]if you forgive why do you want to carry this heavy Grudge

[34:15]in your hearts don't you want to live a life where you

[34:21]feel light don't you want Allah to cast know it in your

[34:23]heart it's for you believe me it's for you you're gonna suffer

[34:27]foreign who you and I claim to follow if the prophet is

[34:42]able to forgive Washi for killing Hamza you can't forgive your spouse

[34:47]think about that rasulullah he forgave Washi who killed Hamza but you

[35:00]can't forgive you know we listen to these lectures and it's as

[35:04]if it's become just like entertainment subhanallah that's a really nice Hadith

[35:07]but you don't practice it what's the point where's the forbearance learn

[35:14]to forgive it's for your own good it has nothing to do

[35:18]with them you don't even need to tell them I forgive you

[35:20]between you and Allah I pardon them and you know how Noble

[35:24]it would be for you to sit on your musala and say

[35:29]ilahi I forgive my ex-wife my ex-husband because I do not want

[35:33]to create any trouble for a lover of Ali on the day

[35:38]of judgment at the end of the day this is a Muslim

[35:40]woman she's a lover of even though they might not show it

[35:44]but at least with this knee imagine how much butter will put

[35:48]in your life to forgive to pardon number six give back each

[35:57]other's personal belongings sometimes you have brothers the marriage has ended and

[36:05]he still has pictures of his ex-wife without hijab delete it why

[36:10]do you have this delete it it's Haram to have it get

[36:16]rid of it and subhanallah there are some people they really have

[36:21]evil hearts it's as if they want to save this right you

[36:25]know save it for a rainy day right as if they're building

[36:29]an opposition file they have sensitive information they have email passwords and

[36:35]they keep it they keep it you might have clothes that belongs

[36:45]to your wife jewelry you she might you might have things that

[36:47]belong to you you have to give it back it doesn't belong

[36:49]to you so number seven don't backbite and slander each other there

[37:03]were secrets between there was confidential information that was exchanged you might

[37:09]know something it doesn't mean that now that you're divorced you get

[37:13]to broadcast it to your divorced girlfriends and then you have this

[37:17]WhatsApp group and you're sharing this confidential information this is the sin

[37:24]in fact there's a Hadith from the prophet sallallahu alaihi a narration

[37:36]attributed to the prophet he says verily among the worst people the

[37:46]worst people on the day of judgment with Allah azoo a couple

[37:53]they were married they shared intimate information with one another confidential information

[38:01]and then they divulge that information rasulullah says these are the worst

[38:06]people on the day of judgment when you damage the reputation of

[38:13]your ex you think that you laugh with your friends and you

[38:16]think it's not a big deal but you don't realize the gravity

[38:22]of the crime that you committed it's a big crime what you

[38:27]did was worse than destroying the Kaaba and I'm not exaggerating when

[38:35]you slander your ex-husband or your ex-wife you try to humiliate them

[38:41]and denigrate them you are doing something that is worse than destroying

[38:50]the Kaaba because what does the prophet says because the moment has

[38:58]sanctity how can you do that how can you attack each other

[39:00]how can you slander each other where's the taqwa where's the fear

[39:06]of Allah you have to hold your tongues there are some people

[39:12]they think they're fine they don't realize they come to the medulus

[39:18]and they go for ziara and they go for Hajj and they

[39:20]stand in arafah and they do Amal and they think I'm such

[39:25]a good woman I'm such a good minute but on the day

[39:27]of judgment when they go in their grave they realize that wow

[39:33]there's a chance I might actually go to German for what I

[39:37]did this is the reality we're not going to sugarcoat yes this

[39:39]is the reality be careful Allah be God conscious number eight oh

[39:47]and this is one of the worst ones number eight if you

[39:52]have children do not use your children as Pawns do not use

[39:58]your kids as pawns don't poison the minds of your kids you

[40:03]don't like your ex-wife she's still the mother still the mother you

[40:09]go to these kids and you try to manipulate them and you

[40:14]convince them that their mother is this and that and then they

[40:17]feel distant from their mother they stop talking to their mother we

[40:22]have so many ahadith about the sin of severing ties with extended

[40:30]relatives imagine the punishment of the one who severs ties between a

[40:33]child and the parent again these are just these are tickets to

[40:38]Johanna we're purchasing tickets to nah to hell and the wife sometimes

[40:46]does the same thing your father is this your father is that

[40:48]you don't like him you keep it to yourself respect the fact

[40:53]that he is still the father of your children she's still the

[40:58]mother you have to hold yourself yes you think this is where

[41:01]Allah tests you this is the test this is where Allah wants

[41:05]to see the people of piety and the people who don't have

[41:07]piety the people who have takawa and the people who have no

[41:14]takawa there are some mothers they don't fear God she again without

[41:18]consulting with a scholar she went and she got full custody of

[41:22]the child she doesn't let the father come and see the child

[41:25]and she spends on the child who said that you're allowed to

[41:30]make financial decisions on behalf of the child who said that the

[41:33]father according to the law of God according to the law of

[41:38]Allah again if the father is crazy or something if it's a

[41:41]normal situation the father has he is the guardian in the sight

[41:47]of Allah over the children you are not allowed to make financial

[41:50]decisions decisions about this child without permission from the father you don't

[41:55]like him I don't care it's the law of Allah it's not

[41:58]about what you like or what I like Allah you bought him

[42:05]this you bought him that I should doing things when Allah has

[42:14]not given you permission to do so look at see this is

[42:18]why when you re when you go through this list you realize

[42:22]why our community is in shambles why families for because people don't

[42:25]follow the law of Allah and then people and then people have

[42:27]the audacity why doesn't Allah answer my duha why does Allah answer

[42:34]your Dua look at what you do you should the better question

[42:37]is why hasn't Allah struck me with a lightning bolt for the

[42:41]crimes that I have committed that's the better question not what whether

[42:44]Allah answers my Dua how much Haram is committed how much violation

[42:49]violation of Rights don't poison the kids against each other come to

[42:57]an amicable understanding be mature some parents are more immature than kids

[43:03]number eight number nine even though he's not your husband anymore or

[43:10]she's not your wife they still are they still have rights over

[43:15]you as Muslims she's not your wife but she's still a Muslim

[43:19]he's not your husband but he still has a right over you

[43:24]by virtue of his Islam what does Allah say a Believer should

[43:29]love for himself he should love for his brother what he loves

[43:33]for himself this applies to also your ex-husband it applies to your

[43:36]ex-wife Allah says don't be suspicious of one another this is a

[43:49]right that meaning have over over each other oh she went to

[43:53]the Masjid I think she's talking to this guy or I think

[43:55]he's doing this this is this is why do you have suspicion

[44:00]baseless accusations and then what is Allah say Do not spy on

[44:07]one another and again sometimes when you have evil friends the wolf

[44:11]pack the divorcees they come together what do they do let's try

[44:14]to get in his email let's talk him let's do this he's

[44:17]all piling up the sins do not spy on each other do

[44:24]not stalk each other this is do not backbite against each other

[44:36]this applies to all meaning including your ex-husband including your ex-wife and

[44:42]number 10 and finally don't think that the only way for you

[44:54]to find happiness is to destroy the other person after divorce it's

[45:00]possible to find peace and move on it's possible it's not a

[45:06]zero-sum game where for me to prosper I have he has to

[45:08]suffer or for me to move on and prosper in my life

[45:12]she has to pay she has to suffer what does Allah say

[45:15]130 and if they separate if they separate Allah will enrich both

[45:30]of them through his abundance you can you can move on you

[45:36]can find happiness you don't need to destroy each other Allah is

[45:40]very giving Allah will give you and he'll give him you don't

[45:46]need to destroy each other in fact these are the moments where

[45:50]you should be very vigilant because maybe something that you do during

[45:53]the divorce process is so Noble that Allah gives you something that

[45:59]would have been impossible to achieve through any other act of worship

[46:03]maybe Generations from today Allah will give you a righteous child as

[46:10]a reward for your Sabor and your taqwa during your divorce process

[46:15]of Allah have fear of Allah these are the limits of Allah

[46:24]these are not my limits I have nothing to gain from sharing

[46:26]this with you by the way nothing to do but we are

[46:30]all one Community we're one family it's very sad to me that

[46:37]these days I get more calls for palak then it's sad we

[46:41]have to change things we have to fortify our families and the

[46:46]way that we fortify our families is we have to go and

[46:51]take our guidance from the best of families and that is the

[46:54]family of rasulullah family of the prophet you don't know how great

[47:07]the synonym is just the fact that you know who Imam Hussain

[47:10]is that you know idea you have no idea how blessed you

[47:19]are there are people that will go through this life and they

[47:23]will never know the beauty of these people but you have that

[47:29]blessing just the fact that you know I will bait this requires

[47:33]this requires continual gratitude to Allah and when you look at Allah

[47:51]he looked at unlike the way that other people looked at that

[48:00]many people they look at the imams as they're just righteous Scholars

[48:09]they're good people but he knows he knows who his father is

[48:21]he knows that this is not just my biological brother this is

[48:25]my Iman the idea is not just my biological father he is

[48:34]can you imagine how protected the family of the Prophet felt when

[48:43]Abbas was still with them especially on the eve of Ashura how

[48:51]safe zainab felt on that night how safe sukhaina felt how face

[48:56]how safe the daughters of rasulullah felt to know that um is

[49:01]with us the moon of benihashim is with us it is said

[49:05]that on the eve of Ashura um he was walking and he

[49:13]saw the camp of Imam at Hussein very small army and he

[49:20]looked at his side tens of thousands so he tells Shimmer we

[49:26]have a huge Army and Hussein only has a few supporters we're

[49:31]in good shape we have a huge Advantage Shimmer says no you're

[49:34]wrong you're wrong you're mistaken you're miscalculating he says what he says

[49:41]there is a man in the camp of her saying that if

[49:45]he comes out we will not know our right from our left

[49:47]who was that says what should we do what should we do

[49:58]about this man says Omar says that maybe we should offer him

[50:04]amnesty let's try to recruit him on our side he's your relative

[50:09]of Shimmer on your mother's side go and offer him amnesty offer

[50:13]him a position in our army a commander Shimmer says it won't

[50:19]work but we'll try on that night Imam Hussain was sitting with

[50:26]his brother these two they don't leave each other if Hussein if

[50:35]Abbas is the moon of benihashem Hussain is the illustrious son of

[50:40]manias the Sun and the Moon together always Shimmer shouts where are

[50:49]my cousins he ignores him he felt disgusted just the fact that

[50:59]this that he's related to this man Imam and Hussein he says

[51:04]who has this it seems like it is shimo salaam he says

[51:11]that answer him go even though he's a FASA he's an evil

[51:15]corrupt person go and see what he wants Abbas IM they go

[51:24]to meet Shimmer face to face and they offer he offers Abbas

[51:30]protection amnesty do you know what Abbas he says he says may

[51:40]Allah curse you and may Allah curse your your amnesty you give

[51:51]me protection and amnesty while the grandson of rasulullah has no protection

[51:55]and amnesty he comes back he comes back on that night there

[52:03]was a conversation between Abbas say the zainab was nervous on the

[52:14]eve of Ashura she was worried about Imam and Hussain she was

[52:20]worried about the children she wanted to go talk to Abel father

[52:24]Abbas on the eve of Ashura is on his horse he's guarding

[52:33]the tents to make sure that these treacherous people do not harm

[52:37]the family of the prophet it was dark suddenly Abbas he sees

[52:44]a shadow approaching him he's very vigilant he takes this job very

[52:52]seriously protecting Hussein and his family he says man end the response

[52:58]is a female voice foreign she has a conversation she says Abbas

[53:13]I want to talk to you she says I want to tell

[53:18]you something I want to tell you a story she says to

[53:24]him that after the martyrdom of our mother father Our Father Ali

[53:28]grieved very much after he grieved over he made a decision to

[53:41]marry he went to his brother and he said to his brother

[53:51]find me a woman who belongs to a tribe that is known

[53:56]for their courage and Valor appeal says what are you going to

[54:01]do with such a woman he says I want to marry such

[54:15]a woman so that Allah can give me a child that will

[54:22]be reserved for the day of distress she's essentially saying to Abbas

[54:28]that tomorrow is the day of distress you were created for tomorrow

[54:32]Allah created you for this day you were the wish of Ali

[54:40]of Navy just like rasulullah was the Fulfillment of the Dua of

[54:45]Ibrahim Abbas is the Fulfillment of the Dua of emiral meaning she

[54:57]used to because Abbas is her younger brother you know when this

[55:05]conversation started by the way Abbas wanted to come down from his

[55:10]horse because when you speak to zainab you come down out of

[55:16]respect he had so he treated zainab as if he's speaking to

[55:21]Fatima to that extent when he was trying to come down out

[55:28]of respect for say the zainab she says stay stay on your

[55:32]horse it makes me proud that my brother is a warrior so

[55:36]then she teases Abbas and some poets they mentioned this you know

[55:41]out of poetic license Maybe they say that zainab was teasing Abbas

[55:48]oh Abbas do not fall short in protecting us tomorrow and Abbas

[55:55]would look at her and he says are you trying to encourage

[56:03]me while you know whose son I am this is the son

[56:11]of Ali on the day of Ashura after all of the asab

[56:17]were martyred after the relatives the benihashim were martyred the sons of

[56:24]appeal martyrd sons of after there was no one left there was

[56:28]only Hussain and Abbas imagine that scene scattered bodies and there's just

[56:41]two of them just two of them the narration said that Abbas

[56:48]throughout the day he was asking Imam and Hussein for permission to

[56:53]fight and Imam Al Hussain would turn him down he would not

[56:57]let him go into the battlefield he would not let him fight

[57:00]until Abbas asks again again he's turned down he walks among the

[57:09]tents and he feels someone pulling on his cloak they say to

[57:15]him oh Abbas were thirsty get water for us he comes to

[57:25]Imam and Hussein he says to Imam Hussain do you give me

[57:42]permission to fight the historical accounts they say that when Imam al-hussein

[57:51]saw Abbas come and asked for permission the narration says Imam and

[58:02]Hussain could feel that the farewell is coming that the time is

[58:09]coming to release Abbas the narration saying that Imam al-hussein started to

[58:15]weep Salam he says Allah my heart is hurting me my heart

[58:33]is feeling constrained yeah and I want to take revenge against these

[58:47]Hypocrites these people that have caused harm to the family of rasulullah

[58:55]Imam and Hussein is reluctant but eventually what can he say imagine

[59:02]your daughter comes to you and she says imagine your niece comes

[59:07]to you and she says I'm dying of thirst I want water

[59:10]he says go and get water what can I say now foreign

[59:35]you are my flag bearer and if I lose you Abbas I

[59:49]do not have any army I do we permission is given Imam

[59:57]Hussain gives him the permission he's holding the flag he's carrying the

[60:09]water skin if I go to and someone comes in front of

[60:12]me do I have permission to strike them the Imam gives him

[60:17]permission go and get water the narration saying that he mounts his

[60:22]horse and he charges towards there were thousands of men guarding the

[60:31]Euphrates when they saw Abbas they began to disperse no one dared

[60:41]to come in front of us until Abbas reached the water he

[60:50]comes down from his horse he gives us a glimpse into the

[60:57]severe aplash of Abbas the severe thirst of Abbas imams he says

[61:12]the heart of Abbas when he reached the Euphrates was like a

[61:19]burning piece of coal he was so thirsty he comes down from

[61:26]his horse when you are experiencing that type of thirst and when

[61:29]water is so close to you and it is so accessible you

[61:35]almost instinctively reach for the water he puts his palm in he

[61:41]can feel the coldness of the water he could probably even see

[61:48]animals drinking from the farat imagine animals drinking from the furat and

[61:56]the family of rasulullah is dying of thirst he brings the water

[62:00]close to his lips [Music] at that moment he remembered the thirst

[62:12]of his brother Jose and then what does he do he throws

[62:20]the water back and he begins to admonish himself how could you

[62:24]even extend your hand how could you even extend your hand he

[62:27]says to himself [Music] admonishes himself he gets up he fills the

[62:50]water sack and now there is only one goal in the life

[62:52]of Abbas he wants to get back to the tents he wants

[62:57]to get back to the camp he wants to quench The Thirst

[63:03]of sukena he wants to quench this thirst of he wants to

[63:07]give water to his mawla Imam Al Hussain he mounts his horse

[63:13]and he's charging back to the camp of ABBA Abdullah until one

[63:20]of the enemies hides behind a palm tree and as Abbas is

[63:27]charging he severed the right hand of Abbas at that moment imagine

[63:36]you lost your arm we would collapse we would fade he doesn't

[63:45]care about his arms he only cares about the water reaching Crusade

[63:50]he says foreign he continues he puts the skin in his teeth

[64:12]he's holding his sword with his left hand he's holding the skin

[64:15]with his teeth the sword with his left hand he continues to

[64:17]move until another lie in hiding behind another tree and he suffers

[64:30]the left hand the boss imagine now you have lost both of

[64:37]your arms you would think that this is enough you have to

[64:39]give up you have to stop foreign standing there with the skin

[65:05]the water skin and he has no arms they start to shoot

[65:13]arrows at Abbas there is an arrow that strikes the chest of

[65:21]us [Music] but I think the most painful arrow for Abbas was

[65:28]the arrow that hit the water skin and the water fell the

[65:34]water spilled on the Sands of kerabella at this moment imagine armless

[65:44]and waterless meaning another arrow hits the eye of the Abbas [Music]

[65:59]Allah [Music] the historians they say at this moment they say era

[66:15]Abbas didn't know what to do he doesn't have arms to defend

[66:25]himself and he doesn't have water for the family a man comes

[66:31]from behind and he strikes Abel father with a pole on his

[66:36]hand he falls on his face usually when you fall when a

[66:51]person falls on their face what do you do instinctively when you

[66:58]fall forward when a person falls forward to make the fall more

[67:04]gentle they use their hands Abbas falls on his face [Music] at

[67:19]that moment for the first time in his life he cries to

[67:25]Imam and her said for how he calls out come to me

[67:43][Music] imagine Imam and Hussein tonight when we speak about the Muslim

[67:55]Abbas we have to remember the pain of ABBA Abdullah when Imam

[68:01]and Hussain saw the flag of Abbas fall what happened to Crusade

[68:05]what happened to Abba Abdullah the historians they say Wallah brothers and

[68:13]sisters this one line is enough for us to cry the entire

[68:22]night the historians say Abbas [Music] they say when Abbas was killed

[68:31]something happened to the face of her saved [Music] Imam and Hussein

[68:43]was composed he lost he lost his companions he had still he's

[68:46]still holding it together he's still fully composed when he lost a

[68:54]bus a little part of him broke in now for the first

[69:06]time he is running towards Abbas he's laying on the plains of

[69:17]karbala he's bleeding profusely he has no arms he has an arrow

[69:24]in his eye he cannot see he hears footsteps coming close to

[69:31]him he thinks that it's one of the enemies to cut his

[69:36]head off Abbas he says he says please give me some more

[69:43]time give me some more time why oh Abbas why do you

[69:48]want more time give me some more time so my brother can

[69:56]come to me what do you want to do with these few

[70:04]moments foreign [Music] I want my brother to come to me so

[70:19]that I can farewell him so that I can kiss him and

[70:25]that he can kiss me Imam and her saying he arrives he

[70:30]has one more see you he has one dying wish he saw

[70:35]that Imam and Hussain whenever someone would be martyred he would take

[70:39]their bodies back to the tents they took him back to the

[70:46]tents with Al qasim brought back to the they were all being

[70:50]brought back to the tents he says I have one desire please

[71:02]don't take me back to the camp I want you to leave

[71:08]me here why he says because I made a promise to sukena

[71:12]I cannot face your children they are expecting water from me I

[71:20]don't have water from them leave me here some say that Imam

[71:27]al-hussein was trying to put the head of Abbas in his lap

[71:30]but Abbas is moving his head back on the sand some say

[71:37]that Imam are saying ask oh Abbas why don't you put your

[71:42]head in my lap he said to him will be there for

[71:49]you Abbas is in the lap he's sitting with his brother he's

[71:58]laying there Imam Hussain is behind him until the soul of Abbas

[72:03]departs his body Akbar Imam and Hussein he stands up and they

[72:12]say that his back was bent he cried out now my back

[72:25]is broken he goes back to the tents imagine the women and

[72:30]the children they still don't know what happened to Abbas he comes

[72:36]back zainab um they ask him Hussein

0 Comments

Up next

Night 8 - How to Divorce with Grace | Shaykh Azhar Nasser, Muharram 2023

Transcript

Up next

Explore more

Please note that if you are under 18, you won't be able to access this site.

Up next

Night 8 - How to Divorce with Grace | Shaykh Azhar Nasser, Muharram 2023

Transcript

Up next

Explore more

Choose a payment method

Language