Night 5 - Most Common Challenges Between Couples - Sayed Ahmed Qazwini | Muharram 2024/1446

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Transcript

[0:00][Music] [Music] spe look [Music] she [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] hus

[2:02]for [Music] [Music] in [Music] she [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

[3:58]hus fore [Music] [Music] in [Music] [Music] for [Music] h [Music] [Applause]

[5:58]hin fore [Music] look [Music] h [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] who

[7:39]husin [Music] [Music] fore for [Music] h [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] husin

[9:44][Music] [Music] husin fore [Music] Lo [Music] for [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music]

[11:35]hin [Music] hus [Music] for for [Music] [Music] [Applause] for [Music] [Music]

[13:34]hin hus [Music] [Music] let's have a second one in honor of

[14:24]the commander of the faithful IM aliam and a third one in

[14:32]honor of Iman Hussein before sending my salams to you I think

[14:41]it is only appropriate that we all collectively send our salams to

[14:46]Imam Hussein so please raise your right hand with me and follow

[14:51]along collectively in one voice ready [Music] respected Elders brothers and sisters

[15:30]on behalf of the Muslim youth connection I would like to welcome

[15:34]you all to our muharam program we would like to begin tonight's

[15:36]program with the recitation of the Holy Quran by our dear brother

[15:42]asan Karimi please help me in welcoming him with three salawats muhamad

[16:20][Music] Muhammad inshallah every night coming forward as as you know there

[16:30]are specified topics that the say is speaking about I'll do my

[16:35]best to recite verses that relate to the topic of the night

[16:38]and you will see that inshallah starting tonight I'll be reciting from

[16:42]Surah ay 74 to 77 and then Surah ayat 20 to 22

[16:50]inshallah Muhammad Muhammad [Music] bill [Music] [Music] [Applause] m IM [Music] was

[18:30][Laughter] [Music] Sal for [Music] [Music] now [Music] [Music] [Music] in [Music]

[20:48]IM [Music] you Sal [Music] [Music] oh [Music] [Music] allar for [Music]

[23:41][Music] B [Music] [Music] me [Music] [Music] t [Music] in [Music] [Music]

[25:39][Applause] Earth in in [Music] inallah the translations of the verses that

[26:46]were recited in the name of God the most beneficent the merciful

[26:52]and the most merciful and they who say Oh Our Lord grant

[26:57]us in in our wives and our offsprings the joy of our

[27:04]eyes and make us guides to those who guard against evil these

[27:08]shall be rewarded with high places because they were patient and shall

[27:15]be met therein with greetings and salutations abiding therein goodly the Abode

[27:23]and the resting place say my Lord would not here for you

[27:31]were it not for your prayer but you have indeed rejected the

[27:34]truth so that which shall CLE shall come in the name of

[27:41]God the most beneficent the most merciful and one of his signs

[27:48]is that he created you from dust then lo you are Mortals

[27:52]who scatter and one of his signs is that he created mates

[27:57]from you from yourselves that you may find rest in them and

[28:04]he puts between you love and compassion most surely they are the

[28:09]these are signs in this people most surely there are signs in

[28:14]this for a people who reflect and one of his signs is

[28:21]the creation of the heavens and the earth and the diversity of

[28:25]your tongues and colors most surely there are signs in this for

[28:30]the Learned Allah the most great and most high spoke the truth

[28:35]Allah [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] are you going to do the third

[29:29]one okay our English program will begin every night starting at 7:30

[29:37]p.m.

[29:37]here in the auditorium at the same time we will also be

[29:40]having a Children's Program located in the dining hall that is catered

[29:45]to their needs we highly encourage all children under the ages of

[29:47]12 to attend that program furthermore when the auditorium gets full we

[29:53]will be directing people to the Masjid where you can also catch

[29:58]the program over there the myc has recently launched their very own

[30:02]Cafe my Cafe located here inside of the I please make sure

[30:08]to stop by and grab a drink and yes drinks are allowed

[30:10]in the auditorium we just kindly ask that you throw out all

[30:15]your cups and bottles on your way out muh Muhammad recently a

[30:27]thought came to my head the average human has about 60,000 thoughts

[30:32]a day most of those thoughts are from the previous day and

[30:37]most of those thoughts are negative thoughts and most of those thoughts

[30:42]are false but anyway besides the point I was thinking about how

[30:45]many days in my life have I prayed all five of my

[30:50]prayers in congregation has anyone ever experienced that all five prayers in

[30:54]the same day in congregation if you have please raise your hand

[31:00]anyone whoever did not raise your hand that is the best reason

[31:04]for why you should go to this Retreat where we will pray

[31:09]all five prayers in congregation for a few days which was honestly

[31:12]probably my favorite part and a great spiritual boost for example when

[31:18]I prayed at home the first thing I do when I finish

[31:23]my T I go right back to sleep but at the retreat

[31:27]no we recite in particular and before attending the last summer Retreat

[31:32]which was my first one I did not even know that it

[31:37]existed until this day I still I don't recite it after F

[31:38]I still go back to sleep but I listen to it here

[31:42]and there furthermore at The Retreat you do feel a real sense

[31:49]of Brotherhood and Sisterhood especially with our esteemed scholar s m k

[31:54]he really pushes that especially after prayer I don't want to go

[31:57]too much into it because I want you guys to experience it

[32:00]because when I first experienced it I thought what was going on

[32:03]but then I really appreciated that gesture and that real Bond of

[32:07]Brotherhood and Sisterhood to me the retreat is the embodiment of the

[32:14]famous words of IM Ali I'm sure you all know them when

[32:18]he says live in this world as if you are going to

[32:20]live forever meaning enjoy all the good stuff of this world you

[32:25]know the nice beaches go to the beaches if you want to

[32:27]have a bonfire at night go a bond for you know enjoy

[32:30]all the good stuff but prepare for the Hereafter as if you

[32:34]die tomorrow don't miss your Salah pray your Salah on time and

[32:38]at the retreat we have the best of both worlds because you

[32:41]will see that our whole schedule is scheduled are on Salah thinking

[32:46]of the Hereafter and the retreat is on a beach you know

[32:51]enjoy the life of this world we have nightly bonfires workshops discussions

[32:55]and it's very interactive Whoever has not been to the retreat I

[32:58]high encourage you to go and experience it for yourself lastly when

[33:02]I've gone on the past to Retreats I went with my cousins

[33:08]so I kind of had a group to go with that was

[33:09]nice but I've always been on Retreats alone and what I would

[33:12]say is if you have a group of friends or cousins to

[33:16]go with that's great and if you don't know anyone to go

[33:18]with even better because you will learn a whole lot about yourself

[33:22]and you will bond with others and you would have an even

[33:28]better time let me mention one more thing I know I said

[33:30]the previous point was my last one but it is also scientifically

[33:34]proven that people who socialize for example going to The Retreat socializing

[33:39]with others they have less stress which is why they are more

[33:43]healthy and then they end up living longer so the retreat has

[33:48]a whole lot of physical and mental benefits as well so you

[33:53]can go ahead and scan the QR code and sign up for

[33:58]the retreat or you could wait and sign up in the weeks

[34:00]prior it does not matter as long as you go I'm sure

[34:05]you will not regret it muh and with that being said please

[34:27]help me in welcoming our distinguished scholar say Ahmed Kini with three

[34:33]of your loudest salawats [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] m that's good is

[35:49]it on [Music] mean [Music] [Music] may Allah grant us all his

[36:55]Z in this life and his sha in the next life illuminate

[37:00]your malalis and your hearts with the loudest ofwat for Muhammad and

[37:06]Al muham respected brothers and sisters throughout the last few years of

[37:21]my service to this community I can confident ly state that the

[37:31]most sought after and requested service that people require is or on

[37:42]average the Islamic Institute receives three to five sometimes even more requests

[37:51]on a daily basis there are some people who call every single

[37:56]week and they want Anar there are few people who will sometimes

[38:04]call on a daily basis and they won't just want one kir

[38:08]they'll want two three wholesale kiras and then they'll want the verse

[38:13]the chapter number and then some of them will even want to

[38:17]argue and debate the interpretation of that so this is definitely number

[38:23]one number two right after the most after and requested service is

[38:30]unfortunately divorce appointments marriage counseling it is by far much more popular

[38:43]or much more sought after than marriage Services once upon a time

[38:50]maybe seven eight years ago it wasn't like this the request for

[38:56]marriage Services kab was much more for example there would be five

[39:05]or six appointments per month for kab and then there would be

[39:10]one or two divorce appointments or marriage counseling but in the last

[39:16]couple of years this has drastically changed now the amount of people

[39:24]that want marriage counseling and not just marriage counseling but want a

[39:28]divorce is very high especially in relation to the amount of kabs

[39:38]and marriages that are happening in this community and you know how

[39:42]many marriages and weddings happen in Dearborn there's like 50 or 60

[39:46]every single weekend with the exaggeration and this is just one Center

[39:50]I can imagine altoe how many requests there are why is there

[39:56]so much of a need and when many of these people come

[40:01]the wife and the husband they come and I greet them you

[40:07]can sense the tension they're very tense they come very stressed out

[40:14]their face is pale sometimes they're exhausted in a bad mood you

[40:18]can tell that the marriage has taken a toll on them there's

[40:24]an endless cycle of bickering between them arguments fights sometimes even insults

[40:33]sometimes they can't even help being somewhat respectful in front of me

[40:39]and they'll start insulting each other while they're there for that 30

[40:43]40 minutes so you can see all that negative energy and sometimes

[40:47]they'll come at a much worse situation because sometimes they'll tell you

[40:53]can you help us maybe our marriage can be saved that's why

[40:58]we have come it's our last resort but other times they come

[41:01]and they don't want any marriage counseling they come for an Express

[41:05]divorce after 20 30 years of being married they come and they

[41:12]expect that in 20 30 minutes they file for the divorce everything

[41:15]is done and they separate from their spouse and their live happily

[41:19]ever after after that and when you break the news to them

[41:25]that I'm sorry in Islam there is no Express divorce because divorce

[41:29]is basically what you're destroying a family the Hadith says that the

[41:34]of Allah subhah wa taala shakes when a divorce happens you cannot

[41:38]just rush into that maybe you have reached the conclusion that this

[41:44]is the end but I have not reached that conclusion I have

[41:47]to follow my responsibility and my obligation of making sure that re

[41:52]that divorce is the last resort and many of them become Furious

[41:56]and angry and they'll start threatening that if you don't give me

[41:58]the divorce I'll go somewhere else go somewhere else Habibi I have

[42:05]to follow my protocols and my rules there's no such thing as

[42:09]an Express divorce and anyone listen carefully anyone I don't care what

[42:13]that person claims who promises you who tells you I will give

[42:16]you an Express divorce meaning the first time they meet you then

[42:21]you should have second questions about that person's motives and intentions because

[42:26]Islam wants to always always try one more attempt one more attempt

[42:32]to save that marriage to reconcile between the husband and wife and

[42:37]some of those individuals when they're very very impatient they want the

[42:40]divorce today today today they keep on asking me I tell them

[42:45]why are you in such a rush didn't you tell me you've

[42:46]been living in hell for a year she's the worst wife for

[42:50]the last two years he was the worst husband for the last

[42:54]three years you can't wait a week two weeks three weeks what's

[42:57]going to happen and the answer is say I just want to

[43:01]get over this I want to get out of this marriage because

[43:04]this marriage is a burden on my chest and on my back

[43:09]and how unfortunate is it brothers and sisters that when you read

[43:17]the Holy Quran the Quran portrays marriage and presents marriage as an

[43:25]institution a relationship that provides comfort from stress it is a stress

[43:32]reliever in the eyes of Allah Allah subhana T says this in

[43:38]the Holy Quran from the signs of Allah is that he created

[43:45]spouses for you to get married to and then Allah subhana tells

[43:51]us why he made this system of marriage he says so that

[43:54]you may achieve Su and Suk means peace so that you can

[44:00]find peace so that you can find rest and tranquility and comfort

[44:03]in your spouse so Allah subhana wa tala says in the Holy

[44:09]Quran that with with all of the stressors of life there's so

[44:12]many things that stress us out your work sometimes the politics the

[44:17]economy some friends so many things that can stress us out when

[44:23]you face all of these stressors of life and all these complic

[44:29]ations and difficulties and Agony where do you go to get that

[44:33]peace of mind the Quran says you go to your spouse that's

[44:38]what marriage is made for this is why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

[44:41]institutionalized marriage based on the Holy Quran and that's why there's a

[44:51]Hadith from alai wasallam where he says ma he says he says

[45:01]that there is no greater benefit that anyone can get from Allah

[45:09]subhana wa tala there's no greater blessing that Allah can give you

[45:13]after Islam the of Islam the of knowing Allah subhanahu wa taala

[45:17]of having a relationship with Allah and worshiping Allah this is by

[45:21]far the greatest blessing and favor of Allah subhana tal upon us

[45:27]the fact that he guided us to him just coming and attending

[45:30]the majales of ab abdah Hussein brothers and sisters in itself is

[45:35]a blessing because it wasn't if it wasn't for Allah inspiring me

[45:41]to come to these majales if it wasn't for Allah telling me

[45:44]who IM Hussein is and guiding me to IM Hussein I wouldn't

[45:48]have been here just like millions of people who are not attending

[45:51]the mjal of IM Hussein so I should feel very lucky that

[45:57]Allah subhah wa tala chose me and he chose me so that

[45:59]I know who Hussein is so that I can have the privilege

[46:04]and the honor of honoring IM Hussein attending his his malalis remembering

[46:09]him and shedding a tear for him so he says after Islam

[46:14]there is no greater than having now the prophet uses the word

[46:19]Z which means wife but it goes both ways whether it's wife

[46:25]or husband he says than having a spouse that just when you

[46:34]look at your spouse you're filled with joy you're filled with happiness

[46:39]isn't this a blessing the prophet doesn't say a wife who makes

[46:47]you happy because she does ABCD or a husband who makes you

[46:49]happy who fills your heart with joy because of her sweet words

[46:55]no no no no no just one look at the face of

[46:56]that SP House of mine gives me joy it ends my stress

[47:02]I forget about everything I start to feel that inner comfort and

[47:05]peace he says this is the greatest that Allah subhana tala gives

[47:11]you and this should be something that we should get from Marriage

[47:19]look at their marriage what a beautiful marriage what was very interesting

[47:24]and beautiful about their marriage about their relationship was thato went through

[47:31]so many difficulties so many trials when he was inviting the people

[47:35]of Mecca to Islam all they did was attack him all they

[47:40]did was abuse him physically verbally they used to throw rocks at

[47:44]him they used to humiliate him they used to make fun of

[47:46]him he used to come back home sometimes he's very very upset

[47:53]depressed because they're just re constantly rejecting everything he's telling them who

[47:59]was there besides him to comfort him to provide that emotional comfort

[48:02]that Suk it wasad and that's whyo loved Khadijah so dearly he

[48:09]never forgot her she died but s alai wasallam never forgot what

[48:16]she provided for him in those difficult days she was there besides

[48:21]him providing that emotional support for and likewise you see and said

[48:29]about fa his famous lines he said after she died he says

[48:41]I used to just look at f one look at the holy

[48:46]face of FAA after I come back home sometimes the Imam is

[48:49]tired you're stressed out you're upset he says one look at the

[48:56]holy face of fa and all of that negativity would be diffused

[48:59]all my stress would be relieved when we hear this brothers and

[49:07]sisters we say wow how lucky was how lucky was how lucky

[49:15]was F and khad they have become the exception that they were

[49:20]able to get that sukun and peace and comfort from their spouses

[49:24]why is my marriage not like that how come when I am

[49:31]stressed out I cannot find that level of comfort in my spouse

[49:37]and what's ironic brothers and sisters like I mentioned the Quran says

[49:45]that get married so that you can find peace and end your

[49:49]stress what's ironic is many people now are thinking about ending their

[49:54]marriage because they want peace you ask someone what happened why'd you

[49:59]get divorced I was tired too much stress so it's as if

[50:05]now ending the marriage is the stress reliever so it's become the

[50:07]exact opposite and this is what I see all the time people

[50:13]that come their stressed out their marriage has become a burden on

[50:16]them and that's why I don't know if you've seen this but

[50:20]this has become fortunately it's a very terrible habit but some people

[50:24]and it's mostly some women I've seen this is probably more common

[50:27]in the Middle East where they will have a ceremony or they

[50:33]will have a party but it's what it's a divorce party and

[50:37]usually they'll have on the cake the picture of their husband and

[50:43]then they'll take that knife and stab him with it not joking

[50:47]just Google it you'll find videos what does this tell you this

[50:50]tells you that there's something fundamentally wrong many marriages are becoming stressors

[50:58]it's become a burden on many of us and for this reason

[51:02]you see when you anytime you go online and you just Google

[51:08]marriage jokes why is it most of them are negative why I

[51:11]know they're just jokes but there's something behind it there's some reality

[51:14]and truth behind it just go on Google and write marriage jokes

[51:22]but please write you know uh for kids and then you'll see

[51:28]most of them are negative they're mocking the idea of marriage and

[51:32]how you know just everybody hates marriage that wife hates marriage the

[51:35]husband hates Mar it's all being said through a joke for example

[51:39]one joke I remember I read a girl asked her mother mother

[51:44]when I get married how many rings will I get she was

[51:46]seeing her mother's jewelry and all that her mother said you'll get

[51:49]three rings number one the engagement ring that's very important number two

[51:54]the wedding ring and number three the most important suffering another joke

[52:03]says that a son asked his father one day we have to

[52:08]be fair anytime you say something about negative about a man you

[52:11]have to say about woman right we have to be equal so

[52:14]a young man asked his father one day Dad how much does

[52:19]it cost to get married he said you know I'm not sure

[52:22]I've been married for 15 years and I'm still paying for it

[52:26]and I can go literally on and on hundreds of jokes and

[52:31]they're all kind of conveying the same idea that marriage is a

[52:38]burden it's something that we have to do because our parents and

[52:41]our forefathers and everyone since Adam did it Prophet Adam and we

[52:44]just have to do it and that's why like we said some

[52:48]people now they're why get married if it's just stress stress stress

[52:50]if it's just a burden and if it is a burden I

[52:55]would agree why get married but this is not the idea of

[53:00]marriage that the Quran envisioned for us brothers and sisters as I

[53:05]already explained Allah subhanahu wa taala envisioned marriage to give a completely

[53:09]different result especially to a Muslim Community that follows the Quran and

[53:18]the guidelines of Allah subhanahu wa taala and that's why tonight for

[53:24]the remaining minutes that I have I'd like to go over three

[53:27]problems that I myself have observed through all these meetings and appointments

[53:34]that three common problems that make your marriage a stressful marriage that

[53:44]make your marriage a burden now I know many of you here

[53:47]may not be married but inshallah you're all looking forward to that

[53:54]day after that intro I I hope you're still looking forward to

[53:56]that day that you get married and there is someone beautiful that

[54:00]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has waiting for you so when you do

[54:06]get married be conscious brothers and sisters take note of these points

[54:11]so that you don't fall into the same problems of others so

[54:16]I'll begin by mentioning the first one one of the most common

[54:20]problems that I have seen between a man and a woman that

[54:27]come and they either want marriage counseling or they want a divorce

[54:31]which is adding to the stress it's taking a mental toll on

[54:39]them many times one of the most common reasons is because the

[54:44]wife or husband has too many expectations from their spouse when you

[54:52]enter marriage brothers and sisters and you have many expectations and sometimes

[54:59]demands and requirements from your spouse you will be disappointed you see

[55:08]there are some people who rely on external factors to be happy

[55:12]and content I have to be rich I have to have a

[55:17]good car I have to have a nice house I have to

[55:20]have this salary this job I have to look good it's all

[55:22]these external things that make me happy and then there are others

[55:29]who create content for themselves who can create happiness out of every

[55:37]situation I know some people they just never get bored never usually

[55:42]always content no matter where you put them why because they have

[55:48]taught themselves that content is in here you create that content it

[55:52]doesn't come from the outside if you think that external things will

[55:57]make you content the IMs of tell us you'll never be content

[56:00]because the nefs is so greedy you tell it here take $1,000

[56:05]be content it's going to want 10 give it 10 it's going

[56:06]to want 100 100 million there just no limit because Allah subhanahu

[56:13]wa taala did not create these external things to give you content

[56:18]content is inside now the problem is when I tell myself that

[56:26]I am entering this marriage so that this woman or this guy

[56:33]makes me happy you're setting yourself for disappointment why because sooner or

[56:39]later some of your expectations will not be met either intentionally or

[56:45]sometimes unintentionally cuz we're human beings but when you place your content

[56:51]and happiness on someone else it's someone else responsibility to make me

[56:57]happy and content you don't always have control over other people you

[57:03]have control over yourself so you are setting yourself up for failure

[57:08]for stress for being constantly upset and depressed I want him to

[57:14]make me feel like a princess always spoil me always be romantic

[57:21]this is actually things that you'll hear some woman will tell you

[57:24]or the guy will tell you that I expect her to make

[57:30]me feel like I'm the boss like I'm a prince and she

[57:34]obeys me in everything even the Small Things the problem is brothers

[57:38]and sisters no one can keep up with my expectations So eventually

[57:41]even if it's the best person some days they will let me

[57:44]down and once they let me down what happens that marriage turns

[57:50]into an obstacle it turns into a burden because I start thinking

[57:53]you know what what am I getting from this marriage I'm not

[57:56]getting what I expected I'm not getting what I demanded I'm not

[58:02]getting what I thought I was going to get and you live

[58:06]a life of stress I remember once a lady a troubled lady

[58:11]come came to me and she was complaining about her husband and

[58:16]her main complaint was that her husband doesn't care about her feelings

[58:21]when I sit down with my husband and I want to vent

[58:26]to him something times because I'm going through a tough time or

[58:29]because I'm having some issues at work or I'm having some issues

[58:35]with my parents with a friend or sometimes something in the house

[58:39]just doesn't care he wants to end the discussion quickly a minute

[58:42]after I start speaking he takes out his phone he Scrolls he's

[58:46]like yeah yeah continue and I know he's absolutely not listening he's

[58:49]just pubbing me and then she says you know I I don't

[58:53]even know if he loves me anymore I don't know if I

[58:54]should continue this marriage you know what I usually tell them this

[59:00]is not just once or twice many times tell them you know

[59:04]what that's unfortunate that your husband is treating you in that way

[59:08]that's not how Allah subhah wa ta'ala wanted a couple to act

[59:11]with each other remember we said the emotional support being there for

[59:13]each other providing that peace and comfort when you come with all

[59:19]the stress of life so unfortunately he's not doing his part and

[59:23]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will or may hold him account ible for

[59:28]his negligence but that's not for you to worry about so much

[59:32]I asked that lady I asked her now let's put this aside

[59:38]are there any good things in your husband she said yes I

[59:42]told her be honest he's very kind and generous right he's uh

[59:47]for example anything I request from him he never tells me no

[59:51]three four five whatever but this is the biggest issue here I

[59:56]tell tell her my dear sister Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala brought us

[60:00]to this life to test us and when Allah subhah wa ta'ala

[60:07]tests us sometimes he will test you with your spouse and just

[60:10]because Allah tests you with your spouse does not necessarily mean that

[60:14]your spouse is a bad person why because who is perfect in

[60:19]this world you see when we talk about content we think about

[60:23]it just perspective of wealth being content if you're not rich if

[60:28]you don't have the best house but what about this statement be

[60:34]content if you don't have the best spouse you just agree that

[60:36]he has a couple of good things okay this is something that's

[60:39]missing from him is that the end of the world be content

[60:44]Allah subhah wa ta'ala did not promise anyone a perfect spouse and

[60:49]trust me brothers and sisters trust me because people come to me

[60:54]and they tell me many of these things that they hide from

[60:57]everybody but they come and they have to talk about it so

[61:01]that we can help them even those people who you think live

[61:04]a perfect life they not live a perfect life even these people

[61:10]they get into arguments even these people they'll get upset from each

[61:13]other and maybe he will sleep on the couch one day or

[61:15]she will sleep on in the other room one day or he'll

[61:18]have to sleep in the garage a third day or whatever but

[61:22]the difference is some people like talking about it they'll even go

[61:26]to social media to vent about their marital problems and other people

[61:29]they keep it private between them and their spouses The Grass Is

[61:34]Always Greener brothers and sisters if you look from the other side

[61:40]Allah subhana wa ta'ala never promised anyone a perfect wife look at

[61:45]some of the messengers of Allah subhana wa tala their wives gave

[61:49]them a hard time but at the same time that their wives

[61:53]gave them a hard time that did not stress them out yes

[61:58]it's annoying but that did not stress them out to a level

[62:05]that they couldn't take it anymore why because Allah subhah wa taala

[62:11]says learned to be content with what you have look at the

[62:13]good things that your spouse is providing you and I'm sure there

[62:18]are some good things you're just not looking if you say that

[62:22]there is absolutely nothing good in my spouse this is unfair this

[62:26]is not being Fair towards your spouse so when you go into

[62:33]that marriage having all these expectations the expectation is not met now

[62:37]you want to end that marriage because you feel like what's the

[62:39]point of this marriage it's not a perfect marriage it's stressing me

[62:41]out so I told that lady look your husband seems like that's

[62:46]just not his thing listening to someone vent and by the way

[62:49]this is many men they're just not good listeners unfortunately and especially

[62:53]when someone is venting right some you know listening to someone vent

[63:00]in itself is I I I believe an art an ability not

[63:05]everyone can do that because sometimes you just can't take it anymore

[63:09]you get annoyed and then the wife when she wants to vent

[63:15]about something he's expecting five minutes but she wants to talk about

[63:18]it for two hours she gives them 17 examples of how her

[63:23]friend is rude and the first example it's clear so if he

[63:26]doesn't really you know interact and he's not showing all that interest

[63:30]sometimes it's because he's just not made for that yeah he should

[63:35]work on it you should be a better listener but why insist

[63:38]on venting to your husband why that Allah say in the Holy

[63:44]Quran that when you have a problem going vet to your husband

[63:46]and when he does not listen to you that means you have

[63:49]a failed marriage never go invent to your mom go invent to

[63:53]your sister I told her is there anybody else that you have

[63:59]in your life that maybe can provide that you know that ear

[64:01]for you to vent and she said yes I do have some

[64:06]friends I do have some sisters and whatnot but I expect that

[64:10]from my husband I understand your husband should be providing yet but

[64:12]he's not what are you going to do about it you're going

[64:15]to kill yourself about it fine just find someone else to vent

[64:19]to so this is something brothers and sisters that makes my life

[64:24]stressful if I don't get this specific thing from my spouse I'm

[64:29]going to be stressed out I'm going to be depressed and I

[64:33]don't love that person anymore and I want to end that marriage

[64:35]no this is wrong so this is number one when you enter

[64:43]a marriage the less expectations and requirements you have of your spouse

[64:49]the happier you will be because if they provided something then you'll

[64:53]see it as a bonus and if they didn't provide it well

[64:59]I wasn't expecting it to begin with if someone came to this

[65:01]Magus tonight and they thought they were going to be treated like

[65:04]a king and they'll get the red carpet right if they came

[65:07]with that expectation but all of a sudden they have to go

[65:10]and sit in the back row and it's hot right they're going

[65:15]to feel terrible they're going to go after this program and they're

[65:20]going to be depressed they're going to be upset they're going to

[65:23]be raging and angry why because they're expectation was not met but

[65:28]if you came without any expectations are you going to be upset

[65:35]I came my expectation is to benefit my expectation is to receive

[65:38]theab this is what I came for so the lower your expectations

[65:41]are my dear brothers and sisters the happier you will be in

[65:47]this life this is regarding everything but especially true regarding marriage this

[65:50]is number one Muhammad Muhammad number two the second common problem that

[66:07]I have observed that causes a stressful marriage that makes our marriages

[66:14]into a burden is when we hold grudges against our spouses you

[66:22]see my dear brothers and sisters many times I will get a

[66:30]husband and wife that come to me so that I can help

[66:39]them reconcile Sometimes They Come unprepared and other times they come exceptionally

[66:44]repaired what I do usually is I ask okay each one of

[66:48]you tell me what the issue is let's hear from both sides

[66:52]remember once a lady came and she opened her notebook and she

[66:59]had like 20 Pages where do you want me to start say

[67:02]how many do you have well 1 2 3 I have about

[67:05]74 points are you serious well we only have I mean you

[67:10]only have like 15 minutes I don't know if you can squeeze

[67:12]that in and then she starts bargaining with her husband give me

[67:17]some of your minutes because usually the husband just says two or

[67:21]three things right and then he'll just give her the rest of

[67:25]the time and even then it won't finish so number one number

[67:29]two number three number four number five and many of them I'm

[67:31]not saying they're wrong many of them are right he's very annoying

[67:36]he burps the whole day right for example something like that he

[67:40]for example he doesn't he doesn't uh put his shoe in the

[67:46]shoe rack you know sometimes it's small things like that and when

[67:53]I listen brothers and sisters to these people that have these lists

[67:57]there are a few observations that I have number one if there's

[68:04]anything that's annoying you about your spouse anything that is upsetting you

[68:09]what I have noticed and this is all based on my experience

[68:14]with dealing with people as many of those things are based on

[68:17]false incorrect assumptions he doesn't love me because 1 2 3 4

[68:24]5 she has a list or he will have a list three

[68:27]four five things and then the assumption is she doesn't care about

[68:32]me but when I listen I see well that's not necessarily the

[68:36]case no there's another interpretation see brothers and sisters Allah subhana wa

[68:45]ta'ala has given every human being this right every human being that

[68:50]when you see some do when you see them doing something or

[68:53]you hear them saying something you you have to always give them

[68:59]the benefit of the doubt this is the right of everybody so

[69:01]if right now somebody's just looking awkwardly at me there's different interpretations

[69:07]maybe they're just looking at my pimple or my big nose and

[69:11]they're just staring at it maybe they're just daydreaming and it happened

[69:16]to be that they're looking at me they're they're not even paying

[69:18]attention to me right there's different interpretation different possibilities says he says

[69:27]you always have to give everyone your brothers and sisters in the

[69:31]community you have to give them the benefit of the doubt he

[69:36]or she didn't call me why they hate me they ignored me

[69:37]no maybe there's a reason maybe their battery died maybe their their

[69:44]phone died or maybe they forgot or maybe or maybe there's even

[69:47]a Hadith where the Imam says and if you run out of

[69:53]good you know good possibilities good excuses make up an excuse for

[69:57]them if you want to live in a healthy Community we can't

[70:02]always be having negative assumptions why didn't or he she he or

[70:06]she say Salam to me was that ignoring me or they didn't

[70:10]see me or maybe they replied they said Salam and I didn't

[70:13]hear them you have to always give everybody the benefit of the

[70:20]doubt this right brothers and sisters unfortunately sometimes it is lost when

[70:24]it comes to husband and wife there is no room for giving

[70:30]each other the benefit of the doubt whatever he did whatever she

[70:32]did I have to give it a negative interpretation that man comes

[70:38]home he sees food is not ready she didn't cook food the

[70:41]dishes aren't washed the house is a mess so what does he

[70:48]assume right away that she's lazy she's lazy probably sitting on WhatsApp

[70:51]the whole day and Tick Tock and wasting her time or he

[70:54]asked her can you please take her to I'm at work can

[70:57]you take the kids to my parents' house he comes and his

[71:02]par and his kids are just playing there in the house she

[71:04]didn't take them what's the Assumption the Assumption sometimes is she doesn't

[71:09]like my parents yes I know I know she hates my mom

[71:13]I know she she doesn't like my father and that's why maybe

[71:16]the car was broke maybe the kids resisted maybe maybe maybe you

[71:22]have to brother and sister this is W the Quran says some

[71:28]of the speculation and the assumptions that we have could be Haram

[71:34]specul when you have no proof can you as we say can

[71:39]you can you swear on your mother's life not your mother-in-law's life

[71:43]on your mother's life that she did it because she's lazy that

[71:47]he did it because he doesn't love me the husband comes back

[71:51]and she's prepared a beautiful meal I've heard this these are real

[71:54]examples you know today I'll make him his best meal some very

[71:57]nice dessert he sits and he eats and he doesn't even say

[72:01]thank you say it I think there's someone else in his life

[72:05]that's his favorite food and he never even said Thank you and

[72:12]he wasn't talking to me while in reality when I ask the

[72:14]guy he's like that was the worst day of my life at

[72:17]work my boss gave me the worst day maybe the wife was

[72:22]sick she had a headache on that day see we don't give

[72:24]any room for any good interpretations giving benefit of the doubt says

[72:36]in one Hadi that the person who always gives others the the

[72:46]wrong doubt you always give other not the benefit the you know

[72:50]the whatever the opposite of the benefit is the the harm if

[72:56]you're always interpreting and assuming things in a bad way the most

[73:00]person that will suffer is you because you're constantly constantly thinking that

[73:05]people are trying to hurt you people don't like you people are

[73:08]making fun of you they're laughing at you when they could be

[73:12]they don't even know you exist and you think that everything is

[73:16]about me and everything is negative so this is a problem brothers

[73:23]and sisters when we fail in giving our spouses the benefit of

[73:26]the doubt so this is number one many of those things on

[73:30]that list are they false assumptions they're incorrect number two let's say

[73:36]they're real let's say no no it wasn't a it's something really

[73:39]annoying it's something disrespectful Islam teaches us brothers and sisters to be

[73:50]very Mindful and aware of yourself and your behavior scrutinize your behavior

[73:59]even the smallest Deeds that you do the smallest words that you

[74:05]say movements always hold yourself accountable and ask yourself why did I

[74:08]do that what was my intention this is what they call holding

[74:15]your NFS accountable on the contrary the Quran says with others with

[74:22]others don't scrutinize their actions and their words don't look at them

[74:30]like a hawk you know sometimes it's terrifying the list of how

[74:36]you know how she is scrutinizing every detail of his life even

[74:41]the way he eats and what he does with his spoon and

[74:47]fork and this is UN Islamic brothers and sisters Allah subhah wa

[74:51]tala says focus on yourself do you know when we start focusing

[74:54]on others and scrutinizing them and monitoring them and judging their every

[74:59]movement when we forget ourselves why aren't you scrutinizing yourself you yourself

[75:05]had so many weaknesses and flaws that you were completely zoned out

[75:11]you didn't even realize it why because you're so caught up with

[75:17]focusing on other people's flaws other people's faults and you forgot your

[75:22]own Islam says do it the other way around Focus entirely on

[75:25]your self you won't even notice what people are doing you don't

[75:28]even notice when your husband is doing some of these annoying not

[75:32]talking about the big things some of these small things when your

[75:34]wife is doing something that's not that big because you are so

[75:37]focused and concentrated on your own self-development the Hadith of the Prophet

[75:46]says that the believer is in such a state that he is

[75:54]always exhausting himself why because constantly monitoring myself scrutinizing myself why did

[76:00]I do this why did I do that why didn't I be

[76:04]better why why why always be harsh on yourself but on the

[76:09]contrary but the people they are at a state of comfort don't

[76:15]be strict with other people why did you do this why didn't

[76:18]you close the door why didn't you turn on this why why

[76:23]why Overlook ignore and brothers and sisters just overlooking and ignoring in

[76:30]itself is an art that you can learn because I know sometimes

[76:33]it's difficult some people they're very tuned into everything they see all

[76:38]the details so it may be difficult for them to ignore all

[76:43]these annoying habits of their spouses but it requires practice practice makes

[76:49]perfect once you focus you move you shift the focus towards yourself

[76:53]and you start focusing L on what my husband and wife is

[76:59]doing the whole day it becomes an ability a disposition eventually says

[77:10]in another Hadith he says about ignoring pretending like you never saw

[77:18]it ignoring what you see sometimes that may be annoying he says

[77:28]one of the best virtues that you can develop is when you

[77:34]teach yourself to ignore many things that you hear and say you

[77:38]saw something that's not that good that's kind of negative my spouse

[77:41]said something wasn't very positive just ignore it ignore it pretend like

[77:49]you never heard it because once because once you have to address

[77:55]it that small thing thing such as why did you not close

[77:57]the door why did you not put your that will escalate into

[78:01]a fight after a couple of days they want to get divorced

[78:03]you could have easily prevented that just ignore it as long as

[78:08]it's not something big as long as it's not something fundamental in

[78:14]another Hadith says that whoever does not teach themselves to ignore many

[78:23]things that they hear and say Subhan Allah they will live a

[78:33]stressful life you'll be always so worried and preoccupied about what people

[78:38]said and did to you the same concept brothers and sisters applies

[78:43]to marriage sometimes we have to zone out and not focus so

[78:48]much on every small detail he sits on the table and every

[78:51]single course of that meal he has to give a paragraph the

[78:56]salt the pepper the the the lemon the I don't know what

[79:01]it's cooked too much it's not just ignore it what's going to

[79:03]happen sometimes yes sometimes you have to address a problem so it

[79:07]doesn't happen again but sometimes you're just venting this is very very

[79:14]brothers and sisters destructful and it's not just destructive to you know

[79:18]the the other person it's hurtful it's destructive to yourself because you're

[79:22]always going to be upset and raging over these small things learn

[79:27]to ignore ignore what you see ignore what you hear says and

[79:36]finally let's say that you just could not get over something that

[79:43]was annoying something that my spouse my husband my wife did that

[79:48]was very careless you know I was disrespectful and I just cannot

[79:53]get over it the Quran here tells us this is where your

[79:58]mercy should come into play be forgiving at the end of the

[80:03]day your spouse is a human being and they will make mistakes

[80:06]and they will sin they're not infallible beings the Dunya will deceive

[80:12]them their desires will deceive them the Shan will misguide them but

[80:19]that doesn't mean that every mistake that they do I have to

[80:22]scrutinize and write it and judge it for them and because of

[80:26]that I want to ask a divorce where's the Forgiveness holding that

[80:30]Grudge brothers and sisters forever is destructive as destructive in any relationship

[80:36]you know Allah subhah wa ta'ala says about some people on the

[80:43]day of judgment they're righteous people he says their greatest fear on

[80:49]the day of judgment is that Allah subhana tala will give them

[80:55]basically means an evil Reckoning someone asked Imad if Allah is just

[81:02]why would anyone fear the Reckoning the Judgment of Allah the Imam

[81:09]said evil here doesn't mean evil in the way we understand it

[81:12]it means difficult Reckoning the Imam said some people Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala

[81:19]he will scrutinize every single act that they did why did you

[81:23]do this why did you say this and they will feel like

[81:28]Allah gave them a very bad trial an evil trial because I

[81:29]was expecting Allah to be merciful to overlook don't you wish that

[81:35]Allah subhana wa taala on the day of judgment when he opens

[81:38]your book ofal he goes to chapter one he see he asks

[81:41]you two three questions and then he skips the chapter 7 he

[81:43]skips six months of your life one year of your life because

[81:48]there are so many sins and flaws don't you wish that Allah

[81:50]would do that to you why don't we do that to our

[81:55]spouses why do we hold that Grudge forgive if you want Allah

[82:02]subhah wa ta'ala to forgive you on the day of judgment then

[82:06]you show forgiveness to other people because the less listen carefully brothers

[82:11]and sisters the less forgiving I am the harder you will make

[82:15]it for Allah to forgive you because when you stand before Allah

[82:19]with all your sins you ask Allah Ya Allah I wish for

[82:21]you to forgive me and then he sees that you were not

[82:25]forgivable you are not forgiving why should I forgive you if you

[82:29]didn't forgive others if everything had to be scrutinized and addressed and

[82:36]they had to apologize then I'm going to do the same thing

[82:41]to you and that's why you see sometimes I hear this common

[82:46]this common statement that when I start speaking about forgiveness in the

[82:50]in the marriage counseling sessions sometimes I'll get the reply that say

[82:56]it he doesn't deserve my forgiveness or she doesn't deserve to be

[83:00]forgive given you know what I say I agree with you he

[83:06]doesn't forgive your deser your forgiveness but you know who does deserve

[83:09]it you do don't forgive him for his sake forgive him for

[83:15]your sake forgive her for your sake because when you hold those

[83:18]grudges you're just doing damage to yourself grudges are like weight they

[83:25]they have they take a very powerful toll on your mind psychologically

[83:32]it's detrimental when you're always remembering oh he did this to me

[83:36]she did that to me and you keep on reminding the other

[83:41]individual and argument start so psychologically it's terrible for you even physically

[83:44]it's bad for you it raises your blood pressure it can lead

[83:48]to heart attack and so on and so forth Letting Go brothers

[83:51]and sisters does it mean that it's going to be forgotten that's

[83:56]the problem that many people don't understand when you forgive someone you're

[84:01]not letting it just go away you know why because Allah subhana

[84:04]tal is there and he will witness that Noble act that you

[84:09]did and he will reward you in an unimaginable way for the

[84:12]act of forgiveness on the day of judgment the least of which

[84:15]he will be forgiving with you so do it for your own

[84:19]self do it so Allah forgives you on the day of judgment

[84:21]I remember once I was trying to settle an argument between a

[84:26]husband and wife they were a little older and the wife had

[84:28]done something that the husband could not forgive her he she took

[84:32]the keys one day she locked them out of the house so

[84:34]on and so forth very dramatic story so I tried to reason

[84:39]with them you know one solution two solution whatever I tried didn't

[84:44]work in the end in the end I appealed to the man's

[84:49]compassion I appealed to the man's forgiveness I told him Habibi brother

[84:53]H us you're right she's the word woman on earth and she

[84:56]committed the biggest crime in humanity but show her forgiveness be a

[85:04]forgiving person I told him do you not want Allah to forgive

[85:06]your sins on the day of judgment do you know what he

[85:10]replied I had never heard someone say that in my life like

[85:14]a normal good you know at least someone who seems to be

[85:20]a decent person he said say it I do not need Allah's

[85:22]forgiveness on the day of judgment wall I don't have sins I

[85:29]don't commit sins and I remember just when I sat with them

[85:31]for an hour I caught him committing probably three or four sins

[85:36]the insults that he was insulting his wife that were unnecessary the

[85:42]problem is because he just doesn't focus on himself that's a problem

[85:45]our pride doesn't allow us to see our flaws but you reach

[85:50]a level of arrogance that you say I don't need Allah's forgiveness

[85:53]every one needs Allah's mercy and forgiveness on the day of judgment

[85:57]so do it for yourself so this brothers and sisters is number

[86:02]two and finally number three the third most common reason why I

[86:10]find people end up in that office over there fighting asking for

[86:13]a divorce is because of anger anger brothers and sisters is very

[86:18]dangerous theith of IM Ali says he says it begins with Madness

[86:30]you see what happens to a person when they when they become

[86:33]angry such that the IM imak says that when you become angry

[86:38]the Shan starts controlling you he says even look at an angry

[86:42]person he starts looking like the shatan his eyes are red his

[86:44]face is red his veins all of the sudden they start popping

[86:49]out he starts looking scary frightening like the thean is controlling you

[86:53]because when you're under the influence influence of anger you can't think

[86:57]right many people many husbands of and wives they get angry and

[87:01]they start saying things that they don't mean that they will regret

[87:06]later but unfortunately it leaves damage that cannot be fixed unfortunately so

[87:11]if you can control your anger many of these problems won't be

[87:15]there and many times brothers and sisters there are some espcially with

[87:18]unfortunately men you know they tend to be more aggressive and angry

[87:23]many time because of that they will want the divorce right then

[87:27]and there and if I don't Grant it I you know sometimes

[87:31]they'll even start threatening me but I know they're just angry and

[87:38]any person any man comes to me and they want a divorce

[87:44]first I have to assess their anger level if they're angry completely

[87:48]ignore them because whatever they say they don't mean it completely they

[87:52]don't mean it and that's why they come back can thank you

[87:56]later that you didn't listen to them the IM says you will

[87:58]regret many of the things that you do when you're angry so

[88:02]this is from the side of the person who's angry from the

[88:07]other side brothers and sisters the other problem is so let's say

[88:10]the man is angry and he starts screaming and Kal he's lost

[88:15]his he's lost his his mind he's become mad the worst thing

[88:18]you can do is when you see someone who's mad and angry

[88:22]the worst thing you can do is reply to them talk back

[88:25]to them completely ignore them this is a mad man a mad

[88:31]woman whatever completely ignore them because whatever you do and say will

[88:35]just make the situation worse you're not talking to your husband this

[88:38]is a lunatic now that's what we become brothers and sisters when

[88:43]we become angry so why bother argue let him cool off cool

[88:50]down then then go and talk to him so anger brothers and

[88:54]sisters many times it will destroy our lives it will lead to

[88:57]broken relationships it will lead to you every possible bad thing crimes

[89:01]you see how many times crimes happen you see on on on

[89:06]YouTube on the news you know two people over some some some

[89:08]parking spot one of them got angry they took out a knife

[89:13]they took they took out a sword they took out a a

[89:16]gun or whatever it was and because of that moment of anger

[89:20]you kill another human being between me brothers and sisters and being

[89:25]a murderer is just one minute of Madness one minute of anger

[89:31]that's why we have to be very careful anytime the husband is

[89:34]angry don't say anything don't say I want divorce I want divorce

[89:37]the wife is angry don't just say sometimes literally like kids say

[89:41]I want a divorce I want a divorce I want a divorce

[89:43]just feel like anyway and then 10 minutes later 20 minutes later

[89:50]once they cool down Kal they don't mention divorce anymore so we

[89:54]have to be very smart at how brothers and sisters we carry

[90:00]ourselves when we are angry and how we react to angry people

[90:04]a lot of the stress brothers and sisters will be alleviated many

[90:09]arguments you won't be you won't need them you won't need to

[90:13]get into them because it was all sparked by unnecessary anger alai

[90:22]wasam visited IM Ali and F the second day after they got

[90:32]married he asked IM Ali Salam how do you see your new

[90:37]wife faat look at the answer of IM Ali how beautiful it's

[90:40]all about the attitude he said he didn't say anything about her

[90:49]looks did she cook what did she how she did the house

[90:54]chores even though FAA was was you can say perfect in everything

[90:57]but still it's a lesson to focus on what good there is

[91:02]you know what he said she is the best partner the best

[91:08]partner in satisfying Allah and being obedient to him this is a

[91:13]going to be a perfect marriage because she loves Allah and I

[91:16]love Allah I need someone to encourage me to do good I

[91:22]need someone to encourage me and do all these good acts with

[91:27]me and Allah has sent me the spouse this brothers and sisters

[91:30]in itself is priceless it will make you forget every other problem

[91:34]and issue and flaw that exists in your spouse what a beautiful

[91:43]word and then when we go toala brothers and sisters the tragedy

[91:47]of Al IM Hussein history tells us of some great wives some

[91:53]wives who were the greatest the greatest factor and their husbands and

[92:03]their husbands who became Companions of IM Hussein and martyrs on the

[92:08]day of Ash it was because of their wife standing besides them

[92:13]and encouraging them and pushing them to go and be a companion

[92:16]of Imam Hussein history tells us about some of them one of

[92:22]them was a woman by the name of either Dam or dham

[92:24]she was the wife of that famous great companion Shah on the

[92:31]day of the narration state that Imam Hussein was leaving from Mecca

[92:40]to kufa and likewise zir was not with IM Hussein he was

[92:43]he was just coincidentally also going from Mecca towards the same direction

[92:48]and he was traveling with his wife and family members and some

[92:53]some of his friends so Z the narration State history states that

[93:00]he wanted to evade seeing IM Hussein why there are different reasons

[93:04]or interpretations some say because he did not love Al IM Hussein

[93:11]others doubt that they say it was because he didn't want IM

[93:14]Hussein to ask him for help or else he would be embarrassed

[93:18]and he would have to join Al IM Hussein so he was

[93:20]evading Al IM Hussein for certain reasons this is what some history

[93:27]report stat until one night they just happened to Camp right next

[93:32]to each other IM Hussein noticed that this is the camp of

[93:36]Z he sends someone to the camp of Z he enters the

[93:43]tent he asks for permission who is it he says I am

[93:51]the Messenger of Hussein the grandson of rasool Allah what is it

[93:54]he has a message for you oh Z he wants to see

[93:59]you the grandson of the narration says that everybody they were eating

[94:07]a meal everybody just stood quiet just surprised uhoh Imam husin caught

[94:11]us basically or they're just what does he want so it seems

[94:16]like it seems like Z wasn't comfortable he didn't want to go

[94:21]and meet IM Hussein but you know know who encouraged him it

[94:25]was his wife his wife heard she's like what's going on IM

[94:31]Hussein wants to see Z and zir is just sitting there she

[94:36]comes to zah she says the grandson of rasool Allah wants to

[94:40]just see you because the messenger didn't say what he wanted he

[94:45]just wants to talk to you the grandson ofo and you're just

[94:48]sitting their shame on you get up and go greet the grandson

[94:53]of rasool Allah the son of zah but he was embarrassed his

[94:57]wife is now telling him to do this he went by himself

[94:59]for a few minutes we don't know what happened brothers and sisters

[95:03]history has not told us what happened between IM Hussein and but

[95:09]what we do know is when he came back to his tent

[95:13]he was smiling he had the biggest smile on his face and

[95:16]his face was so bright and he told his companions that I

[95:23]am moving I'm moving towards the tent of IM Hussein I'm moving

[95:26]in with IM Hussein and I am joining IM Hussein on his

[95:29]mission his wife was so happy she got up she hugged him

[95:35]and she started to cry and when she fared well she farewelled

[95:39]him before he died you know what she told him she told

[95:45]him oh Z please convey my Salam to when you see him

[95:50]allahar and Zer was one of the greatest companions on the day

[95:54]day of Ash his loyalty was just unbelievable brothers and sisters you

[95:58]literally get goosebumps when you hear about the Loyalty of Z and

[96:06]the words that he told IM Hussein this is one example another

[96:11]example the brother of is very well known Ali his brother also

[96:18]is not that well known IM Hussein the report state that he

[96:24]told his companions and I'll mention this more tomorrow inshallah and the

[96:29]day after that he told them you can all leave because I

[96:31]don't want you to get killed in addition to that this report

[96:34]he told his companions Whoever has brought his wife with him many

[96:40]of them brought their wives please I ask you now is the

[96:42]time this is the day before ashat to please take them out

[96:46]there's a village of Ben Assad clothes take them there and let

[96:49]them be safe they asked why he said because my woman will

[96:54]be taken as prisoner of war and I don't want your woman

[96:56]to go through that trouble so he went to his wife and

[97:02]she was also from Beni Assad he told her this is what

[97:04]Imam Hussein said that I should take you to the Village of

[97:08]Beni Assad because there's going to be difficult tomorrow it's not going

[97:10]to be safe then she told him okay so what do you

[97:14]want to do now he told her get ready so I take

[97:16]you she told him shame on you is it fair that Zab

[97:27]tomorrow she becomes a prisoner of war and I am sitting comfortably

[97:30]in my home is it fair that the granddaughters of rasool will

[97:35]be violated they will take off their hijabs but I am sitting

[97:41]in the comfort of my home how dare you even suggest this

[97:45]Ali look at her passion how can I stay safe while the

[97:50]daughters of f zah are terrorized never will I leave Zab never

[97:58]will I leave the woman of rasool whatever they go through I

[98:02]will be with them and I will go through thick and thin

[98:07]with them and I will never abandon them allahar so Ali sees

[98:10]that his wife is determined he goes back to IM Hussein and

[98:15]he tells him of the story he goes back crying IM Hussein

[98:17]thank him may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Grant you and your wife

[98:22]the greatest of a and one of the most beautiful and inspiring

[98:25]stories on the day of Ash of a married couple is the

[98:32]story of w was a young newly what and they say that

[98:35]he was a Christian convert that had recently converted to Islam and

[98:41]he his cross passed with IM Hussein and he heard about the

[98:45]mission and the revolution of IM Hussein and he wanted to join

[98:48]he joined with he was traveling with his wife and his mother

[98:54]so they joined the Camp of IM Hussein they were Newly Weds

[98:57]just converted to the religion of Islam but you see how Allah

[98:59]subhana wa ta'ala when he guide someone to the truth Allah subhah

[99:05]wa tala will make that individual amongst the best of his creation

[99:09]it's the day of as his mother allahar she had such a

[99:15]beautiful role in encouraging him she told him she kept on telling

[99:18]him yab it's your turn now you go and fight make me

[99:24]proud go and defend the IM of your time soah took his

[99:28]sword and he went to fight before he went to fight his

[99:30]wife she told him yah wab please think again before you go

[99:35]she was afraid because she knew wahab was going to get killed

[99:38]they're newly ws and she will have to live as a widow

[99:42]so she kind of discouraged him but his mother told him she

[99:45]told him please go don't listen to her he once he fought

[99:49]he came back he came back once again he farewelled them he

[99:52]went the second time as he went and he was fighting all

[99:56]of the sudden he noticed his wife who was discouraging him a

[99:59]few minutes ago now she's holding a spear and she's telling she's

[100:05]telling her husband wahab oh wahab I have come to help you

[100:08]and to protect Imam Hussein as well and to give my life

[100:12]for him as well wahab looked at her and he told her

[100:13]what happened a minute ago you were dissuading me now you're holding

[100:18]the spear and you want to come and fight for IM Hussein

[100:21]she tolds him yah when you left I heard the call of

[100:26]Hussein he cried out that completely broke my heart how can anyone

[100:39]leave this holy man Hussein when his face is filled with so

[100:44]much no how can we abandon him and leave them all alone

[100:50]between the enemies in please go and fight and protect the grandon

[101:01]of may Allah subhah wa taala make you proud one after the

[101:08]other the loyal Companions of Al IM Hussein they went to the

[101:13]battlefield and they were all killed until the IM was all alone

[101:16]between the enemy without any of his companions he went on a

[101:21]hill all he could see from the bodies of his companions was

[101:23]were was the blood the mutilated bodies so he began to feel

[101:27]lonely and he said all Warriors of combat oh great Horsemen oh

[101:48]my companions just the night ago you promised me that you will

[101:53]never leave me alone now your IM is all alone between the

[102:04]enemies Muslim he started to call their names one after the other

[102:11]did you not promise that you will never leave your IM all

[102:14]alone inala this is when your IM needs you there's a Hadith

[102:23]from an IM that he says when the IM said those words

[102:26]the bodies of the sh began to shiver and Shake as if

[102:32]if there was any breath inside them they would never leave their

[102:36]Master Hussein alone inala [Music] every night I remember you on the

[103:19]day of regret won't you look at me too all of the

[103:28]pain that I've been through all goes away every night that I

[103:40]call on [Music] youus hus hus everyone hus everyone everyone everyone every

[104:12]night I remember you every night I remember you on the day

[104:24]of regret won't you look at me too all of the pain

[104:34]that I've been through all goes away every night that I call

[104:43]on you every night I remember you everyone everyone every night I

[104:55]I remember you on the day of regret won't you look at

[105:03]me too all of the pain that I've been through all goes

[105:12]away every night that I call on you every night on the

[105:25]day of regret won't you look at me too all of the

[105:34][Music] pain all goes away every night that I call on you

[105:45]one day the world will chant your name one day the world

[105:53]will chant your name name every flag Falls except the red flag

[106:01]of Hussein one day the world will chant your name one day

[106:07]the world will chant your name every flag Falls except the red

[106:14]flag of Hussein life serving you death at your Shrine life serving

[106:22]you death at your Shrine life serving you death at your Shrine

[106:28]my life is saved my heart is yours your pain is mine

[106:35]true peace is found under your shade when loved ones left only

[106:45]you stay true pieces found under your shade when loved ones left

[106:51]only you stay true pieces found under your shade when loved ones

[106:57]left only you stay every night I remember you every night I

[107:12]on the day of regret won't you look at me too all

[107:21]of the pain that I've been through all goes away every night

[107:30]that I call on you every night I everyone remember you every

[107:42]night I remember you on the day of regret won't you look

[107:49]at me too all of the pain all goes away every night

[108:02]that I call on you the flag of truth always the tall

[108:09]the flag of truth always the tall your story proved that the

[108:19]flag of evil will fall thousands like me are at your door

[108:24]thousands like me are at your door your servants love you though

[108:32]we know you love us more thousands like me are at your

[108:42]door thousands like me are at your door your servants love you

[108:46]though we know you love us more true love is found only

[108:57]when with you true love is found only with you in all

[109:01]dreams come true true love is found only with you inal all

[109:11]dreams come true true love is found only with you inal all

[109:17]dreams come true every night I remember you every night I everyone

[109:31]on the day of regret won't you look at me too all

[109:40]of the pain that I've been through all goes away every night

[109:49]that I call on you the question that kills me with pain

[109:56]the question that kills me with pain for what sin was you're

[110:03]six month old slaughtered and slain the question that kills me with

[110:09]pain for what sin was you're six Monon old slaughtered and slain

[110:18]I wish I was inala I wish I was in for you

[110:27]i' go instead of the son of Lea I wish I was

[110:35]inal I wish I was in caral for you I'd go instead

[110:44]of the son of Lea your sacrific is true beautyy without your

[110:53]blood where would we be your sacrifice is true beautyy without your

[111:00]blood where would we be every night I remember you every night

[111:16]on the day of regret won't you look at me too all

[111:24]of the pain that I've been through all goes away every night

[111:33]that I call on you oh I Call On You true peace

[111:41]is found under your shade true peace is found under your shade

[111:46]when loved ones left only you stayed true peace is found under

[111:55]your your shade one loved ones left only you stay every night

[112:02]I remember you on the day of regret won't you look at

[112:18]me too all of the pain that I been through all goes

[112:26]away every night that I Call On You husin husin husin hin

[112:42]hin hin husin husin husin h h h husin husin husin husin

[113:11]Hussein husin hin moin moin moin ma husin ma husin ma husin

[113:39]ma husin husin Hussein ma husin husin mo husin m m husin

[113:56]m husin m hin m hin m hin m husin [Music] [Laughter]

[114:37]the [Music] muham [Music]

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