Loneliness, The Silent Killer! How can we Overcome it? - Sayed Mohammed Baqer Al-Qazwini

20 المشاهدات· 24/03/25

Al-Rasoul Islamic Society
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Al-Rasoul Islamic Society || Halifax - Canada

أظهر المزيد

Transcript

[0:10]when we examine some of the social ills that we have in

[0:18]our modern times some of the difficulties that millions of people are

[0:23]going through we will find that one of the greatest dangers today

[0:31]that is threatening our physical and psychological well-being is loneliness in fact

[0:38]loneliness is coined and termed as being the silent killer you know

[0:45]today in the West especially in the United States you will find

[0:55]that loneliness is killing more people than obesity smoking combined and lack

[1:02]of exercise and we know these three are top killers smoking and

[1:07]how that ruins one's health lack of exercise and obesity today official

[1:15]statistics are revealing that loneliness is claiming more lives it has become

[1:22]more dangerous than these three combined which is very serious some studies

[1:29]reveal that 40% of adults 40% admit to experiencing serious loneliness in

[1:37]their lives and it's very important for us my dear brothers and

[1:41]sisters to be aware of the dangers of loneliness because loneliness does

[1:48]not discriminate no matter who you are whether if you were the

[1:52]from from the high class from the middle class from other classes

[1:55]whether you rich you're poor whether you're famous or not loneliness is

[2:01]taking a toll on everyone on everyone even those famous people in

[2:06]2012 George Clooney the famous Hollywood actor he admitted to suffering from

[2:12]loneliness from bouts of loneliness says I feel very lonely especially in

[2:18]public events you know you would imagine the public events when you're

[2:23]out there and everyone's watching you and you're a celebrity you should

[2:27]not feel lonely but he says I feel most lonely in these

[2:31]public events loneliness does not discriminate it's affecting all types of people

[2:38]it's affecting all families and we need to be aware of the

[2:44]dangers of loneliness and how to protect ourselves and our families our

[2:48]children today are growing up in an environment that is conducive to

[2:53]loneliness and it's leading them to depression and loneliness we need to

[2:59]be familiar with the dangers there are a number of dangers that

[3:05]come with loneliness my dear brothers and sisters first of all it

[3:09]does damage to your physical health let's start with the heart loneliness

[3:14]takes a toll on the heart it applies pressure on your cardiovascular

[3:20]system because it increases the stress hormone which is cortisol when you

[3:29]go through loneliness the stress hormone cortisol is increased when that is

[3:33]increased it applies pressure on your cardiovascular system and it applies pressures

[3:42]pressure on your blood vessels damaging them it damages the heart and

[3:47]it damages your blood vessels that's a danger that millions of people

[3:55]today are suffering from it even weakens your immune system loneliness has

[4:00]been proven to weaken your immune system it's very interesting how it

[4:04]does that the way that it does that is that people who

[4:07]feel lonely and they suffer from loneliness they consider the outside world

[4:13]a threat to them everything is threatening they don't feel safe they

[4:17]don't feel comfortable now when you focus on external threats your body

[4:26]starts to focus on bacterial infections as opposed to viral infections Spinola

[4:34]that's how the body works when you feel threatened your immune system

[4:39]is weakened because now your body is more concerned with bacterial infections

[4:45]than viral infections that means you're less immune to viral infections and

[4:51]that weakens your immune system just feeling lonely weakens your immune system

[4:57]and it also leads to suicide one of the dangers of loneliness

[5:02]is that it leads to suicide now I'm not saying that everyone

[5:08]who has loneliness is suicidal but everyone who's suicidal experiences loneliness that

[5:15]is the most common state associated with suicide and do you know

[5:20]the rates of suicide every 40 seconds someone in the world is

[5:29]committing suicide every 40 seconds and remember this for every actual suicide

[5:35]there are 25 attempts at suicide meaning there are 24 more people

[5:39]in these 40 seconds who are trying to commit suicide but they

[5:43]fail doesn't go through their plan doesn't go through so can you

[5:50]imagine every two seconds someone is trying to end their life every

[5:53]two seconds we're talking here and tens of people are trying to

[5:56]end their lives it's a serious problem every suicidal person experienced a

[6:01]severe loneliness so it's very important for us my dear brothers and

[6:09]sisters to protect ourselves from loneliness now what are some primary causes

[6:14]that are leading to loneliness being familiar with these will help us

[6:19]protect ourselves and our children our families our relatives from loneliness one

[6:25]cause that we find especially in the Western societies is increased individualism

[6:31]people these days are living more and more individual lives right you

[6:40]have less social bonds less family interactions the average person here in

[6:44]the West grows up not even knowing who his relatives are even

[6:50]if he knows them there's minimal interaction even's relatives like grandparents you

[6:58]know the average teenager here in the West on average talks to

[7:07]his grandparents four hours a year that's the average there are millions

[7:12]of teenagers they have nothing to do with their grandparents four hours

[7:17]a year compare that to watching TV and playing video games four

[7:23]hours a day we give our parents four hours worth of one

[7:30]day of our entertainment this is one cause we have become more

[7:35]and more individualistic and that in itself is leading to loneliness another

[7:43]causes postponing marriage those who postpone marriage and have smaller families and

[7:47]smaller children as they grow older they were they will suffer from

[7:56]depression and loneliness guaranteed one way to protect yourself from depression and

[7:59]loneliness is to get married earlier and to have a bigger family

[8:05]when you're 50 and 60 and you have children and grandchildren in

[8:09]your life and you've raised them well that protects you from loneliness

[8:13]but when you've delayed marriage even there are some people today they

[8:18]don't even want to get married sometimes I asked them what's the

[8:22]matter with you you're 30 you're not getting married why yeah say

[8:25]you do you know these days people are getting divorced and I

[8:29]am afraid of an abusive husband a bad wife it's not a

[8:35]valid excuse you're 30 right now maybe you're energetic you're working you're

[8:39]not feeling the danger but wait till you're 40 45 and 50

[8:43]then depression will strike you hard when you see you have no

[8:46]children no grandchildren your life will be empty then what are you

[8:51]going to do work is not going to satisfy you all your

[8:53]life when you grow older not thing satisfies you more than seeing

[8:57]your children and grandchildren it just removes your miseries takes away your

[9:03]pain and depression it takes away that loneliness so this is one

[9:11]other factor that is leading to loneliness a third factor and this

[9:14]is very important and we need to make sure that we put

[9:20]a limit for our children one driving factor behind loneliness and depression

[9:27]is our technology these days were hooked on these smartphones tablets screens

[9:36]the more time you spend behind the screen the lonelier you will

[9:40]be and the more time you spend on social networking websites like

[9:45]Facebook and others the lonelier you will feel yes there's a healthy

[9:50]limit where you go you are searching for productive information you are

[9:57]keeping in touch with positive friends that's good but there are some

[10:02]people who have the habit of just going through page after page

[10:07]after page and reading the comments and especially your posts when you

[10:11]post something you're obsessed how many people saw it who's commenting on

[10:15]it what did they say that makes you feel lonely official statistics

[10:20]are revealing this the more time you spend on Facebook the less

[10:25]satisfied you will feel with your life and especially some people they

[10:31]have the habit of comparing I compare my posts to my friends

[10:35]and others how many lights do they get how many comments do

[10:40]they get being concerned about these issues brothers and sisters makes you

[10:46]lonely being addicted to these devices may have some benefits but look

[10:50]at the dangers are we aware of these dangers you know these

[10:52]days even in family gatherings for God's sake you're sitting at the

[10:57]dinner table and everyone's looking at their phone can you please put

[11:01]it away at least at the dinner table and just see your

[11:04]friends and family see we've minimized that human interaction we're not robots

[11:12]we're not devices we're humans humans need social interaction you need that

[11:18]human face in your life you can't replace it with this if

[11:22]you replace it with this you will fall into depression you will

[11:26]fall into loneliness this is one cause that is also leading to

[11:32]loneliness and depression another cause is the inability to fit in to

[11:42]be rejected by others some people have a difficulty whether it's at

[11:46]school at work and society they have this inability to fit in

[11:51]once you feel that way this leads to loneliness and a common

[11:55]problem that we have especially in our schools and we all need

[11:59]to be aware of this my dear brothers and sisters bullying at

[12:02]schools do you know that one in three children get bullied that's

[12:06]33 percent 33 percent of children in schools are getting bullied and

[12:16]20 percent of students and children only tell their parents 80 percent

[12:21]do not tell about the bullying that they go through your child

[12:24]may be going through bullying for years and you don't even know

[12:28]it your child may never have disclosed it to you you have

[12:31]to follow up and look for signs and patterns to see if

[12:38]your child is being bullied every few days you hear in the

[12:41]news a young a boy or a girl a fourteen-year-old at 12

[12:45]12 year old committed suicide because of bullying they couldn't take the

[12:50]bullying anymore and today because of social media bullying has become just

[12:54]so much easier before social media you had to physically do the

[12:59]bullying at school say something you know hurt the child ganged up

[13:03]on a child sometimes the teachers could see that but these days

[13:08]on social media who can control what you're saying every child today

[13:12]as an account a social media account and they're connected to their

[13:16]friends and other friends are actually using this to bully them we

[13:21]need to be aware of these dangerous my dear brothers and sisters

[13:25]we need to take this seriously don't say no I'm Sharla I'm

[13:27]doing well and my family as well lowliness has no room in

[13:32]my family no loneliness is finding way to every family even if

[13:35]you think you have a religious family oh they're suffering from loneliness

[13:42]too so we need to be aware of the dangers and the

[13:45]causes and that brings us briefly to the solutions what are some

[13:49]solutions that we can offer when it comes to loneliness number one

[13:58]increase that human interaction surround yourself with people especially good friends good

[14:04]friends and relatives my dear brothers and sisters are the best safeguards

[14:10]from loneliness don't isolate yourself because naturally the human being when he

[14:15]feels lonely or depressed you know what you do you isolate yourself

[14:20]when you isolate yourself you fall into this vicious cycle of becoming

[14:24]even more lonely initially you'll feel uncomfortable people who feel depressed and

[14:29]lonely initially they feel uncomfortable they don't want to meet people they

[14:33]don't want to be around people force yourself and surround yourself with

[14:40]friends that in itself will help you it's very difficult but once

[14:46]you try it a few times you will realize that you will

[14:51]be able to control your loneliness and make sure that those friends

[14:55]whom you choose our loyal good friends not any friend sometimes disloyal

[15:01]friends dishonest friends bad friends can even make you worse I had

[15:08]a friend you know about 10 years ago or more that I

[15:11]got to know him in Florida I was there for a program

[15:16]during the month of ramadhan and he told me about his very

[15:19]tough experience with his friends he was very generous with them if

[15:26]any of his friends was down he would help them out he

[15:29]would show them how to start a business he would even loan

[15:34]them money he was very generous with them and he really thought

[15:36]that these friends were honest friends who would be there for him

[15:42]he didn't pay attention that they were just there to use him

[15:45]and take advantage of him and benefit from him he missed that

[15:51]point years later things change for this brother he gets into an

[15:57]accident and that has an impact on his health and he runs

[16:00]into a number of issues he goes financially broke when he becomes

[16:04]financially broke after being very well-off he contacts some of those old

[16:10]friends whom he saved and through him they became rich he contact

[16:19]contacted them one by one asking them to help him out like

[16:22]he helped them asking them to give him a loan to help

[16:29]him start a business again not a single of his friends stood

[16:32]up for him not a single one he was hit with severe

[16:39]depression and loneliness he said you know what I didn't choose my

[16:42]friends wisely some warned me I didn't pay attention so I'm warning

[16:45]that these people are not really your friends they're just there to

[16:50]take advantage of you choose honest friends you have a genuine friendship

[16:54]with them that way you can count on them when you fall

[16:57]you can count on them surrounding ourselves with good friends my dear

[17:01]brothers and sisters is very important when it comes to combating loneliness

[17:05]and protecting yourself from loneliness that's one thing that we can do

[17:12]another way to protect yourself from loneliness is through generosity and volunteerism

[17:17]this has been proven through many many studies you know they call

[17:24]generosity if there's a pill for happiness its generosity when you give

[17:30]there is a part in the brain it's called the mesolimbic system

[17:34]when you give an act of charity when you give to someone

[17:41]this part of your brain produces hormones that make you happy so

[17:45]Parrinello look at the creation of God a large made it easy

[17:49]for you to give makes you feel in fact there was one

[17:54]researcher he did a study he took out gift cards and he

[17:57]experimented this the first group of people he came and he gave

[18:05]them the gift cards so they received benefits they got a gift

[18:08]he wanted to see which one generates more happiness he says those

[18:12]whom I gave the gift cards initially they were very happy you

[18:19]know when you get a gift you feel happy right when I

[18:21]gave them those gift cards temporarily within the next few hours their

[18:27]happiness increased but then at night he followed up with them to

[18:34]see their happiness that night before they slept that happiness was gone

[18:38]the effect had gone it was momentary happiness two-three hours they enjoyed

[18:44]getting that gift card and they're not back to normal life then

[18:51]he tried a second experiment he gave these gift cards to a

[18:55]group of people and he told them go and give these gift

[19:02]cards to the poor so these people they went out seeing homeless

[19:05]people poor people just college students who probably you know don't have

[19:10]a lot of money and they get it they gave them the

[19:14]gift cards and they would be thanked by those people you know

[19:17]they would get a smile then they measured their happiness that night

[19:21]they saw their rates of happiness were significantly higher than group number

[19:27]one who received now you would think that getting benefits from people

[19:35]makes you more happy than giving but that's not what science says

[19:38]science says giving makes you more happy than receiving and that's the

[19:44]beautiful system of allah subhanaw taala volunteering giving from your time not

[19:48]only giving from your money but giving from your time as the

[19:54]best protective measure from loneliness and depression one study was done on

[20:01]Americans and they found that those Americans who volunteered five to six

[20:07]hours a month compared to those who did not volunteer they were

[20:13]five point eight times more happy in their life five point eight

[20:17]times happier just through volunteering and a last panel to Anna and

[20:24]the month of ramadhan teaches us that the spirit of volunteerism this

[20:27]is one way to protect yourself from loneliness and depression get your

[20:32]family involved every one of you volunteers give from your time that

[20:36]helps you you're the first person who will benefit another way to

[20:41]protect ourselves from loneliness my dear brothers and sisters is to travel

[20:45]yes as they say you know traveling is food for the Soul

[20:52]it really is and the best place you can go to with

[20:54]your family and children is for Ziya if you have the habit

[21:01]of going once a year once every two years with your family

[21:06]to zerah that in itself my dear brothers and sisters will play

[21:10]a significant role in protecting you from loneliness and depression the imam

[21:15]ali salaam according to one hadith it's a beautiful line of poetry

[21:18]in which the Imam says travel there are five benefits to traveling

[21:25]one of them is that it removes your misery makes you feel

[21:28]better it reduces that depression and loneliness Hetty mentions a number of

[21:34]other benefits you know gaining new knowledge gaining a new experience meeting

[21:40]other nations there are many benefits I see sometimes families 5-10 years

[21:44]passed by they have not taken a trip to Seattle why what's

[21:47]your Excuse when you travel together and you enter Masjid al-haram or

[21:52]the shrine of any mammal for saying or the shrine of an

[21:57]imam or now you know what that does to you that first

[22:01]of all strengthens your family bonds and through that allah subhanaw taala

[22:08]will heal your heart and finally my dear brothers and sisters especially

[22:12]in the month of Ramadan we are reminded that the best protection

[22:17]from loneliness is to develop a relationship with allah subhanaw taala well

[22:21]you have Allah with you when you have a lot by your

[22:27]side listen to what imam zain al-abideen ELISA Lam States and Doha

[22:33]Abu Hamza Somali Allah he be victory kashyap enemy oh allah through

[22:39]your remembrance my heart lives that's the life you get from your

[22:44]relationship with allah an amendment foreseen ali suleiman - Arafah what does

[22:49]he say Allah he maharaja durman photonic wah Madhava demin would you

[22:55]oh Allah what is he found the one who's lost you if

[23:00]you have the entire world but you've lost your relationship with Allah

[23:04]what do you have seriously what do you have and what has

[23:08]he lost the one who's found you if you have a lot

[23:09]of and you turn to Allah and you learn to rely on

[23:14]Allah that in itself will heal you from loneliness and depression and

[23:18]we take advantage of this holy month of Ramadan to build that

[23:22]relationship with Allah subhana WA Ta'ala ya oddity if he should the

[23:30]t ya Mona Seif ey shitty o the one who gives me

[23:32]comfort in my loneliness yeah I know what I'll must Ohashi nephilim

[23:39]don't we recite this and document all the light of those who

[23:43]are lonely the loneliness of darkness oh Allah you are our light

[23:59][Music]

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التالي

Loneliness, The Silent Killer! How can we Overcome it? - Sayed Mohammed Baqer Al-Qazwini

Transcript

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استكشاف المزيد

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التالي

Loneliness, The Silent Killer! How can we Overcome it? - Sayed Mohammed Baqer Al-Qazwini

Transcript

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استكشاف المزيد

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