How to hold an Islamic wedding | Sayed Ahmed Qazwini

42 Bekeken· 24/03/23

Ahlul Bayt Center of Toledo
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How to hold an Islamic wedding | Sayed Ahmed Qazwini
at the Ahlul Bayt Center of Toledo

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Transcript

[0:13][Music] respected brothers and sisters we mentioned last night that from an

[0:27]islamic perspective it is recommended to hold a wedding and by a

[0:31]wedding we said to hold a feast where you invite the believers

[0:37]and you serve them a meal and you celebrate your marriage the

[0:40]fact that allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has found a spouse for you

[0:45]the fact that allah has completed half of your faith so you

[0:49]come together and celebrate in the wedding and we said that likewise

[0:52]it is a sunnah of rasulullah that rasulullah would encourage it and

[0:58]he himself would also perform it to hold a walima that feast

[1:01]of the wedding however as i mentioned last night unfortunately the weddings

[1:08]of today of our communities have become ever so unislamic the weddings

[1:15]that we see in our communities today brothers and sisters are as

[1:21]far away from the sunnah of rasulallah as they can possibly be

[1:25]because instead of beginning this holy matrimony this marriage by invoking the

[1:32]blessings of allah and the blessings of bait and remembering allah thanking

[1:37]him and being obedient we begin this marriage by disobeying allah subhanahu

[1:44]wa ta'ala our weddings have all become a place of disobedience of

[1:47]allah subhanahu wa ta'ala a place where we anger allah subhanahu wa

[1:50]ta'ala a place where we violate the laws of allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala

[1:58]we begin our marriages and the weddings where allah subhanahu ta'ala has

[2:01]completed half of my faith we begin our marriages by destroying the

[2:08]other half the same day that i want to begin this marriage

[2:10]instead of asking allah to bless and help me with the second

[2:16]half we begin by destroying the second half allah is telling me

[2:19]look i've done half the work for you mantas day one the

[2:31]allah gives me half of my faith i go about destroying my

[2:36]other half at least wait a few weeks wait a few months

[2:39]but no unfortunately our weddings have become riddled with haram with sin

[2:46]with disobedience defiance of the commandments of allah and then we wonder

[2:52]why there are so many marital problems in our communities we ask

[2:56]why why are the divorce rates so high why are there so

[3:01]many problems as soon as there's a problem you find them the

[3:03]couple they call the sayyid and the sheikh and they want a

[3:08]magical solution from the sheikh and say habibi i can't do miracles

[3:10]enter from day one you did not care about allah from day

[3:16]one your wedding was al-haram now you want allah to help you

[3:19]from day one the last thing on your mind was allah subhanahu

[3:23]wa ta'ala you began your wedding by disobeying allah and you could

[3:28]care less about what allah thinks and what allah wants and now

[3:32]you have come and act you act so holy i say please

[3:36]help me i can't do magic anymore when allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

[3:41]is not part of the relationship of course the marriage will be

[3:44]a failure of course we should expect problems between the husband and

[3:49]the wife when allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is absent of the equation

[3:53]and you know what's so disappointing what's so disappointing is that you

[3:59]see believers people who have went to hajj they come to salat

[4:04]every week you know them they're devout practicing but when you see

[4:09]their wedding their son gets married their daughter they forget allah azzawajal

[4:13]they forget everything that they practice for the entire week it becomes

[4:17]two three hours as if allah is not there sometimes wallahi they

[4:22]show me videos of people i know personally i've want to hajj

[4:25]with them they come to salat they are the most devout people

[4:34]in the community but when you when you see the marriages the

[4:37]weddings of their children or of their family members you see the

[4:40]haram that they do is unbelievable why why is it that wedding

[4:45]has to play be a place of haram wedding should be a

[4:49]place where we remember allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allah says in the

[4:53]holy quran marriage is from the signs of allah it should remind

[5:00]you of allah weddings remind you of dunya and the shaytan these

[5:05]are these wallahi brothers and sisters one reason why i can't attend

[5:08]weddings is because it has become a place for the shaytan every

[5:12]haram you want is committed in the wedding why wedding should be

[5:17]a place where this is the sunnah of rasulullah half of my

[5:19]faith is completed this is from the signs of allah it should

[5:24]be a place that reminds you of allah but it has become

[5:28]a place where it reminds you of the shaytan it reminds you

[5:32]of the dunya it reminds you of haram and this is very

[5:34]very disappointing when you see believers engaging in haram and they completely

[5:41]forget all of the laws of allah as if allah subhanahu ta'ala

[5:44]is not there and that's why today it's very rare to find

[5:50]the marriage to find a wedding and i'm saying this brothers and

[5:53]sisters for the youth that when you get married do not be

[5:58]pressured by the society to have a wedding just like the other

[6:01]people because most of the weddings most that we see in the

[6:03]communities is all ham find the courage in yourself and the tawakkul

[6:09]and allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to have a wedding to have a

[6:12]proper wedding i don't care what people say i don't care if

[6:16]people will say this is what type of wedding is this who

[6:18]holds this wedding you should care about allah subhanahu wa ta'ala so

[6:22]insha allah if i want to have my wedding as a young

[6:26]man as a young woman or i'm a parent and i want

[6:29]to have a wedding for my son and daughter brothers and sisters

[6:31]we have to be careful not to fall in the trap of

[6:36]the shaytan the believer the entire year he's on the right track

[6:39]during that wedding night he commits haram as much as he does

[6:43]throughout the entire year what am i talking about there are four

[6:48]problems in our weddings today brothers and sisters four unislamic habits that

[6:52]i find in muslims weddings today even some believers and i'll go

[6:57]through them one by one number one the extravagant spending that you

[7:03]find in most weddings you know the average american how much do

[7:09]they spend on their weddings according to a very credible source which

[7:15]is google an average american spends 30 000 on their wedding now

[7:20]you think this is a lot a couple of days ago someone

[7:26]was telling me and in our community in michigan he was telling

[7:28]me say it in our community it's a double that the average

[7:32]wedding costs up to 60 70 thousand dollars because he was telling

[7:38]me say it you don't know what they do first of all

[7:41]the hall the hall now is costing thousands of dollars to rent

[7:44]second of all come and look at how much they spend on

[7:48]the flowers he was telling me one wedding he attended ten thousand

[7:52]dollars just on the decorations and the flowers you know we have

[7:55]the kosher i don't know what they call it in english sometimes

[7:59]that in itself is a thousand cup costs a couple of thousand

[8:02]dollars to rent not even to buy the decorations the flowers you

[8:06]find he says the the cameraman the photographer that they bring thousands

[8:11]of dollars they pay that individual so that he would get the

[8:16]shots and then he says say it come and see the food

[8:19]i mentioned last night it's recommended to serve the believers to serve

[8:23]them a meal but don't do islam don't overdo it sometimes you

[8:26]see the buffet of the weddings 50 types of food and then

[8:31]the desserts and the sweets and the ways you know the watermelon

[8:33]they carve it and like a flower like a duck you know

[8:37]how much that costs the five dollar watermelon when you make it

[8:40]looking like a duck will cost you five hundred dollars wallahi this

[8:44]is haram brothers and sisters well this is no one is saying

[8:47]don't bring food it's recommended i mentioned last night to feed the

[8:51]people bring food bring decent food there's 50 types of food some

[8:56]marriages you see some weddings they bring an entire restaurant crew the

[9:00]crew of the restaurant comes and they have a stand one stand

[9:04]for the shawarma one stand for the i don't know what one

[9:06]stand for the juice one stand for the for the desserts you

[9:10]you find those huge fountains of chocolate the the cake some people

[9:17]spend thousands of dollars on it well it's become untenable unbearable this

[9:21]is haram this is islam because all of the extra food usually

[9:25]is thrown in the garbage brothers and sisters this is haram brothers

[9:30]and sisters no one is saying don't bring food bring food bring

[9:33]good food we said bring chicken but the extravagance the islam that

[9:39]we are seeing the splurging that we are seeing in the weddings

[9:42]but this is too much we are exceeding all the boundaries you

[9:45]know there are people who work as wedding planners he was telling

[9:49]me a brother they bring the wedding planner they pay him five

[9:53]thousand dollars just to plan the wedding when you put all those

[9:55]costs together it reaches sometimes a hundred thousand dollars and these are

[10:00]the average ones some they do crazy exotic things one was telling

[10:05]me that in one of the weddings the wife came with a

[10:08]chariot you know cinderella she came inside the building sitting in a

[10:13]chariot and horses leading you know how costly that is and then

[10:17]he tells me that they bought 100 doves those wife doves each

[10:21]one cost allahu alam a couple of hundred dollars and then they

[10:23]just freed them after the wedding all of this waste what is

[10:27]this gonna do brothers and sisters you think this is gonna bring

[10:29]you happiness it's all dunya because they want to show off the

[10:32]wedding which should be a sunnah of rasulullah should remind you of

[10:35]rasulullah it should remind you of allah the quran says this is

[10:41]a sign of allah it reminds you of dunya exactly like how

[10:45]i mentioned the people of jaahiliyah the makhabara reminds you of allah

[10:49]right the graveyard they used to go to graveyard so that they

[10:53]boast about how many dead people they have i have 20 graves

[10:57]here so i'm a bigger clan than yours they changed the graveyard

[10:59]which is a place of achara to a place of dunya this

[11:04]is what we have done in our communities the wedding becomes a

[11:06]place to show my money to show my how much i own

[11:10]and how you know how i can bring people's attention and how

[11:14]i can show off this is what weddings have become you want

[11:16]allah to bless this marriage when it's all about dunya it's all

[11:19]about wasting this money and then not to speak about the dress

[11:25]the brother was giving me a rundown the dresses that the brides

[11:29]are wearing thousands of dollars six thousand dollars seven thousand why brothers

[11:34]and sisters you think a five thousand dollar dress is going to

[11:36]make you happy this is what's going to bring you success in

[11:38]your marriage will not in fact let me tell you this not

[11:43]only will splurging on your wedding not make you happy not only

[11:47]is it a waste of money it will make your marriage worse

[11:52]you know there are studies that have proven the more you spend

[11:57]on your wedding the more the higher the chances of divorce will

[12:01]be in your marriage the more you spend in your wedding the

[12:05]less successful your marriage will be i have the study here it's

[12:09]a study conducted by emory university emory university as a university an

[12:16]atlanta a university in atlanta they found that couples who spend less

[12:21]on their weddings they tend to have longer lasting marriages that are

[12:27]more successful the less you spend the happier the marriage will be

[12:32]and they found the couple that spent more on their weddings they

[12:36]splurged on the weddings they splurged on the wedding ring this is

[12:40]also something that's mentioned ten thousand dollar wedding ring these individuals they

[12:45]had the worst marriages they had the highest rates of divorce so

[12:48]why am i spending all of whom for allah allah doesn't want

[12:52]it for yourself you won't benefit from it you're doing it for

[12:55]the people just to show off it's all about brothers and sisters

[13:01]so unfortunately how our weddings have become as far as possible as

[13:05]they can from allah subhanahu ta'ala and then he was telling me

[13:08]the dress the makeup the makeup sometimes there are some places that

[13:12]some sisters go if you're the bride they will give you the

[13:18]you know the bride's makeup worth one thousand dollars sometimes two thousand

[13:22]dollars maybe you guys even have heard crazier stories one thousand dollars

[13:26]just for makeup yeah i need my face i don't want people

[13:28]to see it naturally i have to spend a thousand dollars on

[13:31]my face so it becomes something beautiful wallahi this is so unfortunate

[13:36]and he was telling me this is just the money that the

[13:39]husband and wife spend let alone the other people because every woman

[13:42]that comes she spent a five hundred dollar one thousand dollar dress

[13:45]every man that comes look at their suit look at their shoes

[13:49]look at their the jewelry that they wear if you look at

[13:51]collectively how much of those two 300 people spend in that wedding

[13:57]he told me say it i counted one wedding maybe 200 000

[14:00]in our community here two hundred thousand dollars on one wedding and

[14:04]he wants allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bless this allahu akbar the

[14:10]other day was telling me that the average wage in lebanon today

[14:15]you know how much it is of an average worker 100 to

[14:21]150 dollars he lives off that for an entire month this is

[14:24]a person who is a shia of salam and i claim i

[14:28]am here and i spend hundred thousand dollars on my wedding and

[14:31]it's all haram i'll get to the haram am i a true

[14:34]sure muslim just the cake the cake in itself will cost a

[14:41]couple of thousand dollars my shoe will cost more than 150 for

[14:44]the wedding and this is the entire salary of our brothers and

[14:49]sisters in lebanon isn't this haram brothers and sisters isn't this a

[14:52]dead ummah you want allah to bless such a nation you want

[14:56]allah to bless such a community listen to the hadith he says

[15:16]he says that if i had money and i could use that

[15:20]money to give it to a poor muslim family i can give

[15:25]them food and shelter and i can preserve their dignity so they

[15:30]don't have to go and beg this is better for me than

[15:32]going to hajj 70 times going to 70 times is less imam

[15:37]al-baqarah says in tawab then if you have money give it to

[15:41]a family that is in need that need food that need shelter

[15:43]and then we spend tens of thousands of dollars on our weddings

[15:46]wallahi this is haram this is israel the walima is recommended it's

[15:52]mustahab and why people give them a meal but don't overdo it

[15:55]do something you know average something that will you know you'll do

[15:59]the mustahab and something that is you know average because when i

[16:05]splurge and spend all that money you're not helping anyone even yourself

[16:08]you're hurting yourself because the more you spend on your wedding studies

[16:14]say the higher the chances of divorce i remember i read a

[16:18]story once a couple of years ago of a turkish couple in

[16:22]turkey they had collected and saved money for their wedding i don't

[16:25]know 10 20 000 whatever subhanallah they noticed that there was an

[16:29]influx of refugees from syria in turkey you know what they did

[16:34]the man wore his suit the wife the bride she wore her

[16:42]dress and they went and they bought food for 4 000 with

[16:44]the money that they had saved for 4 000 syrian refugees and

[16:48]they fed them and they said this is our wedding and they

[16:50]said we feel much happier than what spending all that money on

[16:55]the flowers and on the cake and on those sweets and on

[16:58]those weird looking fruits that we bring that do really nothing for

[17:02]us they spent their money to feed 4 000 people well now

[17:07]with that money we're feeding what 200 people 300 feed people but

[17:12]don't overdo it don't do this so this is number one brothers

[17:16]and sisters the first islamic habit that we find in our communities

[17:19]and many of the marriages is the islam the extravagant spending which

[17:25]is bad for your dunya and bad for your achilles number two

[17:29]a second unislamic habit that you find in our weddings today is

[17:34]the music every wedding you go to brothers and sisters you will

[17:39]hear that loud music this is why i can't go to any

[17:44]wedding because it's filled with music i know there are some music

[17:47]that some allah says but that's not the music that you'll find

[17:51]in the wedding it's all the haram music the music that makes

[17:53]you want to dance this is haram brothers and sisters why do

[17:58]we have to have music in our weddings why did allah say

[18:00]it's in the holy quran i don't understand why we're doing this

[18:03]does it just makes us happy because there's mu this is how

[18:07]important it is that i start my wedding with music and haram

[18:10]listen to the fatwa say this is he says the music that

[18:22]is haram is the one that is played in the gatherings of

[18:23]the people of the dunya gatherings of fun gatherings of entertainment this

[18:29]is which is the one you find in the weddings the one

[18:31]that's halal is the one you find in the professional settings for

[18:34]example you're in a restaurant there's their background music in the plane

[18:37]you're waiting in a doctor's office somewhere professional professional people are sitting

[18:43]there's music doesn't make you want to dance this is the music

[18:46]that maybe said sistani considered but the one that you see in

[18:49]the wedding this is the one that makes you want to dance

[18:53]this is mayunas this is haram brothers and sisters why do i

[18:56]have to have music in my in my wedding why i don't

[18:59]understand why every wedding has to have music this is something that

[19:03]we have to leave listen to the fatwa he says that arouses

[19:25]and triggers your desires makes you want to dance music that is

[19:28]played by the people of dunya same thing as what said sistani

[19:32]says then this is haram and that's the music you find in

[19:34]the weddings you won't find the boring classical music in the weddings

[19:39]do you find that music now maybe the classical boring music that

[19:42]no one wants to listen to sahih when you're on hold and

[19:46]that annoying company that music nobody wants to listen to you're not

[19:49]going to play that in the wedding no you want that fast

[19:50]music that people want to dance this is haram allah says i

[19:55]don't understand why all of a sudden it becomes just because i'm

[19:58]getting married just because it's my wedding night i have the right

[20:03]to violate the laws of allah subhanahu ta'ala now some people may

[20:07]say is you know without music my wedding will be boring what

[20:13]are we going to do just sit down and look at each

[20:14]other no brothers and sisters there are halal alternatives you can have

[20:18]islamic nasheeds there are so many beautiful islamic nasheeds islamic mawali tawashir

[20:25]you can find them on youtube they're very beautiful they're entertaining they're

[20:31]about albeit and they're 100 halal i have attended some weddings remember

[20:34]i said rarely you'll find the weddings i've attended some of them

[20:38]they'll have the anashit it's beautiful it's not boring in fact right

[20:41]now i see even there's this uh trend where they bring some

[20:45]of the some of the some of the reciters and they will

[20:48]recite a beautiful poetry for adults there's even one of them in

[20:54]dearborn he has a crew he brings his crew and they recite

[20:56]together it's very entertaining it's not boring at all they recite a

[21:00]beat about imam ali alayhi about fatima tuzara how beautiful is that

[21:06]you begin your wedding your marriage by invoking the name of albeit

[21:10]by invoking the name of allah by doing thicker of allah this

[21:15]is when you know the blessings of allah azzawajal will definitely incorporate

[21:19]you because i began my marriage and my wedding with albeit a

[21:22]little bit will not leave you and albeit will not forsake you

[21:27]when does allah forsake you when you forsake him when you begin

[21:30]your marriage haram haram allah he pulls away his blessings when you

[21:34]go do your ketobic tab you finish your ketchup allah brings down

[21:40]his mercy upon you he brings down he showers you with his

[21:42]blessings but then when you go to the wedding and he sees

[21:46]all haram haram he pulls back his blessings from you this is

[21:50]when he forsakes you when you forsake allah this is when you

[21:54]find the problems happen between the husband and the wife begin your

[21:58]wedding in a beautiful way by having these reciters and you know

[22:01]what's worse now i'm hearing that now they're bringing live performers for

[22:06]haram singers in our communities they charge four five thousand dollars i

[22:10]remember once i was told by brother someone invited the singer for

[22:15]his wedding from the middle east he paid him twenty thousand dollars

[22:19]twenty thousand dollars every dollar of it is haram i will be

[22:25]held accountable for it on the day of judgment and this is

[22:27]going to make me happy how is this going to make me

[22:30]happy some pay thousands of dollars for the dj the entire crew

[22:33]of dj if you want your wedding to be fun there are

[22:37]alternatives bring the nasheed i have attended and it's not boring at

[22:40]all and in fact brothers and sisters when we read about the

[22:45]marriage of fatima and amir al-mu'min it's reported it wasn't a boring

[22:52]wedding rasool allah it's reported he ordered the woman to chant allahu

[22:55]akbar and that's why it's a sunnah to say allahu akbar the

[23:00]hadith says in your weddings they would say allahu akbar while fatima

[23:04]was riding on the camel and the zephyr when they took her

[23:09]to imam they were all reciting allahu akbar in a beautiful way

[23:12]so it was something that the entire people of medina enjoyed it

[23:15]wasn't something boring we think religion is boring is boring absolutely not

[23:20]and then he ordered them the hadith says the woman to recite

[23:25]poetry for fatima to zach and he told them this but do

[23:33]not do or say anything that displeases allah so no singing don't

[23:37]say anything that is haram your poetry should all be about allah

[23:41]almighty and in fact the poetry that was recited in the wedding

[23:44]of fatima is recorded i'll read you some of it for example

[23:49]um the wife of rasulullah she began to read this and possibly

[23:55]in a beautiful voice she began to say was how beautiful imagine

[24:16]someone reads this poetry with a nice voice and it's all about

[24:21]ahlulbait she's saying walk with fatham come with her and thank allah

[24:27]subhanahu wa'ta'ala for this she is the greatest woman the allah and

[24:33]she is the daughter of rasulullah the greatest man that allah subhanahu

[24:36]ta'ala said the meanings are beautiful and it's something that also what

[24:41]entertaining for the people and then aisha she also said lines of

[24:45]poetry she said go with fatima walk with her for allah and

[25:06]then hafsah the poetry of hafsah the other wife of rasulallah was

[25:13]so beautiful she said fatima is the greatest woman of all time

[25:24]and her face is like the beautiful moon favala allah has likewise

[25:48]given you the greatest husband the greatest father and the greatest husband

[25:53]who can match imagine if we can make our weddings like this

[25:58]it won't be boring it'll be entertaining marriage a wedding where you

[26:03]have someone you invite him with a beautiful voice and he can

[26:08]recite beautiful lines of poetry in the wedding so this is number

[26:12]two a second an islamic habit is the music the new generation

[26:16]mothers and sisters do not listen to your peers do not listen

[26:20]to whoever comes and tells you your marriage your wedding will be

[26:23]boring if there is no music it doesn't matter what matters is

[26:28]pleasing allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bring those qura and have the beautiful

[26:32]nasheeds recited in your wedding this is number two number three a

[26:36]third an islamic habits i see in our communities in many marriages

[26:40]is the dancing that happens all mentioned brothers and sisters dancing and

[26:47]fun of the opposite gender is haram dancing in front of the

[26:53]opposite gender if there's a woman seeing me haram for me to

[26:56]dance if i'm a female a man seeing me haram for me

[27:00]to dance listen to the hadith of rasulullah this hadith is authentic

[27:05]he says i forbid you of zephin zeffin means dancing that's why

[27:12]say aslan all types of dancing or haram even between the same

[27:17]gender now there is a disagreement on this some ulama say in

[27:21]a wedding if it's a segregated wedding which we don't see any

[27:24]more segregated weddings anymore the woman can dance only the woman they

[27:28]can dance as long as it's segregated no man watching say it

[27:32]he has a problem even with that he says even segregated wedding

[27:37]woman he says you cannot dance he has a problem with this

[27:40]but the problem with our weddings they're mixed men and women together

[27:46]and they're dancing together this is haram according to every merger some

[27:50]sometimes i see some videos brothers and sisters i see of weddings

[27:55]i see some people who i know they're believers they're muhammad's i

[27:58]want tahajwada he's doing the debka and the it's men and women

[28:04]together doing the debka and there's men and women watching haram brothers

[28:07]and sisters wallahi this is haram why do we forget allah because

[28:12]my son or daughter is getting married we should be closer to

[28:14]allah because this is a time where allah has brought us together

[28:17]allah has brought favored me and given me this name that i

[28:22]can hold the wedding for my son and daughter that he has

[28:23]found a wife that she has found a husband instead of thanking

[28:28]him i stand and do debka without any hayah when women are

[28:31]watching me look at the fatwa said for allah says men and

[28:58]women they cannot have debka together the man cannot have the debka

[29:01]when women are watching them he says this is haram this is

[29:06]a modesty women are watching men performing the deputies a form of

[29:12]haram so if i really had to have the debka then you

[29:14]have to do it after the wedding the boys the guys can

[29:18]take the the the groom into another room where there's only men

[29:21]no woman watching you can videotape it and put it on facebook

[29:24]because other women will watch it you can do the dubka there

[29:28]say it what allah says but in our weddings brothers and sisters

[29:30]it's being done all in a mixed setting this is haram so

[29:36]this is something that we have to be careful the dancing this

[29:40]is number three our wedding should not have dancing especially if it

[29:44]is a mixed wedding and finally number four this may come out

[29:49]as harsh for some people but brothers and sisters as the holy

[29:55]quran says i'm just warning you brothers and sisters i just want

[29:59]to tell you what the quran says i have absolutely no interest

[30:01]in this you are all my brothers and sisters and because i

[30:05]care for you i'm telling you this one of the ways in

[30:07]which haram is being done in our weddings in our mix weddings

[30:11]is the makeup the makeup that sisters come putting makeup the the

[30:17]bride she comes putting all that makeup five pounds of makeup on

[30:23]her face brothers and sisters it is haram for another man to

[30:26]see me if i'm a sister and i have makeup on my

[30:30]face allah mentions this in the quran it's a clear verse in

[30:35]the holy quran allah says and tell the believing woman to guard

[30:46]their chastity to guard their modesty and to lower their gaze and

[30:52]to not show their adornment their beauty you can't show that beauty

[30:56]which is the the jewelry or the the makeup this is haram

[31:01]according to so i go to a mixed wedding and i have

[31:03]masha'allah five pounds of of makeup on my face and there's going

[31:07]to be all these men looking at me haram you want to

[31:11]put makeup you have to have a segregated marriage a wedding you

[31:14]don't want to have a segregated wedding you want to have a

[31:18]mixed wedding then you cannot put the makeup this is the fatwa

[31:20]of every single merjah brothers and sisters you will not find one

[31:24]that will tell you it's okay go to the wedding put makeup

[31:27]and let the men look at you yes if it's a family

[31:31]member your father brother that's fine but all these men who are

[31:34]not my mahram i come in front of them and i have

[31:37]all this makeup this is haram this is what the quran says

[31:38]not just in weddings all the time but specifically in weddings so

[31:42]unfortunately this is one of the habits haram habits that you find

[31:47]in our weddings the mixed weddings you see the sister comes putting

[31:51]makeup this is haram you're not allowed to show your zina unless

[31:54]it is your the quran continues your husband your father your son

[32:00]your nephew your brother fine but if it's all these people who

[32:03]are not my mahram it is sisters does this mean i must

[32:10]have we must have segregated weddings no you don't necessarily have to

[32:14]have a segregated wedding you can have a mixed wedding but as

[32:17]long as the laws of allah are not defined no dancing no

[32:21]music bring someone a mukra to recite to ashir and absolutely no

[32:26]makeup now if this is something that it's too unbearable i have

[32:30]to put makeup i have to come with the jewelry then maybe

[32:33]here it's better to have the segregated marriage it's better to have

[32:37]the segregated wedding these are the come of allah subhanahu wa if

[32:40]you want allah to bless you to bless your marriage then this

[32:44]is the way to do it people will say my wedding is

[32:48]boring people will say what type of a lousy wedding who cares

[32:51]what people say listen to the hadith of hussein he says he

[33:03]says whoever tries to please people by disobeying allah you want to

[33:11]disobey you want to please people in a way in which you're

[33:14]disobeying allah allah azzawajal will then no longer support you allah will

[33:19]no longer bless you and protect you he will say you are

[33:23]worried about what people think not about what i think then go

[33:26]to the people let the people help you allah will forsake you

[33:30]allah will abandon you he will no longer protect you you want

[33:34]allah's blessings then obey allah who cares about other people what they

[33:39]say what matters is what allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says so i

[33:42]know it's difficult because i've heard some tell me there's too much

[33:46]pressure peer pressure community pressure if i want to have a wedding

[33:49]some people will say what type they'll look down upon me does

[33:53]it matter brothers and sisters what matters is pleasing allah if you

[33:57]make an intention tell allah allah i will hold a wedding that

[34:03]is for you just to please you wallahi allah will begin to

[34:07]shower you with his blessings and his mercy in a way you

[34:11]had never seen and allah mentions this in the quran he says

[34:15]the one who stays away from haram for allah will take care

[34:23]of you don't care about what people say let people boycott your

[34:25]wedding who cares what's the worth of those people in front of

[34:30]allah his blessings upon you in a way that you never accounted

[34:47]for so brothers and sisters these are four points that we have

[34:50]to think about let us ponder upon about them and let us

[34:53]try to to start a trend a movement in our societies that

[34:57]no more haram in our weddings allah comes before everyone and we

[35:01]can still enjoy the wedding we can bring those beautiful foods just

[35:06]don't overdo it you can gather in the halls even bring roses

[35:10]bring sweets just don't overdo it but no dancing no music instead

[35:14]bring those beautiful reciters that we have they bring even some of

[35:18]them their crew with them and they deliver a beautiful performance that's

[35:22]all about bait and finally we have to be careful with the

[35:27]makeup in those mixed settings we ask allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to

[35:33]bless us to give us the tawfiq the strength and the courage

[35:35]sometimes it needs courage to obey allah subhanahu wa ta'ala we ask

[35:39]him to give us the tawfiq that we can follow the commandments

[35:43]that we can follow in the sunnah of rasulullah allah foreign a

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