What it Takes to be a Good Parent - Sayed Saleh Al-Qazwini

7 المشاهدات· 25/03/06

Al-Rasoul Islamic Society
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Al-Rasoul Islamic Society || Halifax - Canada

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[0:09][Music] B [Music] [Music] [Music] for your blessings and for this month

[1:02]of Ramadan to be a month of forgiveness and blessings for all

[1:06]of us let us raise our voices with a loud muhamed muh

[1:18]one of the greatest blessings in a person's life is the blessing

[1:29]of Offspring The Blessing of children the blessing of having a progeny

[1:34]and leaving behind children this is one of the greatest forms of

[1:43]pleasure in life emotional Comfort psychological comfort and this is a need

[1:52]that many people have in fact almost everyone has this need the

[1:57]need to have their offspring and raise their Offspring and see their

[2:04]offspring and their family and their children grow this is what Allah

[2:11]subhanahu wa tala describes in the Quran from the pleasures of this

[2:21]dun are two things that the Quran identifies wealth and second having

[2:33]children and the Quran gives us a way and a route to

[2:37]see that these Pleasures in this D continue and bring us joy

[2:46]in the because when a person dies when we leave this life

[2:49]we are separated from everything we are separated from our wealth the

[2:57]wealth that we work our whole life for that's it they leave

[2:59]it in the bank account and they take the person to the

[3:04]grave and we are also separated from our children your children they

[3:08]carry you all the way until the grave no one is going

[3:16]to go with you so Allah subhah wa ta'ala tells us however

[3:29]there's a way for you to have your children and your wealth

[3:37]become something else that lasts forever and takes you to paradise and

[3:41]that is when it becomes what does that mean that means you

[3:47]need to be able to raise your children in a proper way

[3:53]and you will see the benefit of it see the benefit and

[3:56]the reward of your children not only in this dun but also

[4:01]in the similarly with your wealth if you use and spend your

[4:04]wealth in a way in a particular way you will see the

[4:09]reward and the benefit of your wealth not only in this dun

[4:14]but in the now our focus is on children and raising children

[4:19]having upright children and having a proper upbringing for our children so

[4:24]that we can benefit from our children in the afterlife as well

[4:32]so that our children can be a source of joy and blessings

[4:34]for us not only in this D but in the and this

[4:40]is what we see all of the prophets in the Quran they

[4:46]were all this was something that was on their minded you look

[4:48]at the prophets of Allah subhah wa ta'ala and their duas you

[4:53]see this was a concern for them you look at prophet ibim

[5:05]IIM he says oh Allah make me from the ones that uphold

[5:11]prayer but not only me and I want my children as well

[5:16]I want my family as well I want to I want my

[5:18]family and my children to know the value of Salah you look

[5:24]at Prophet or Prophet where he says look at Prophet zakar you

[5:50]see all of the prophets they were concerned with having children this

[5:54]is their Dua so you see the prophets of Allah subhah wa

[6:08]ta'ala and the they have children but they want to take that

[6:14]benefit from their children not only in this short dun but in

[6:20]the as well how do you do that you do that through

[6:22]raising your children in a proper way you do that through sacrifice

[6:28]you you do that through commitment you do that through perseverance you

[6:34]do that through patience just like everything in life just like any

[6:39]business any you want to go to education you want to go

[6:43]to a good school you want to get a good job whatever

[6:45]it is it requires commitment it requires persistence it requires perseverance similarly

[6:53]raising our children and having children that are raised properly that know

[6:59]their values and know their and know their religion this requires a

[7:05]lot of hard work it's not easy some people they think the

[7:09]hard part is just having the child and then later on the

[7:14]child will grow on its own the child will be guided on

[7:16]its own no right now when you leave the house you want

[7:20]to go from point A to point B you have to take

[7:24]out the GPS so that it guides you where to go similarly

[7:26]our children and US ourselves we need that guidance and we need

[7:35]that hi now my dear brothers and sisters when it comes to

[7:38]raising children and having children there's two Dimensions to look at one

[7:44]dimension is the materialistic and physical aspect of raising a child for

[7:51]example you have to make sure the child is raised properly is

[7:58]fed properly is changed the child as the child grows older there

[8:02]are materialistic and physical needs that the child has this is something

[8:07]that every parent the moment you become a parent Allah subhah wa

[8:11]ta'ala gives you that gift where you will be able to carry

[8:14]out your responsibilities and duties with that aspect however we see that

[8:22]there are many parents there's another dimension that is lacking and that

[8:28]is the dimension of hia that is the dimension of guidance proper

[8:34]guidance and proper upbringing and nurturing the and the principles and the

[8:41]values with their children this is something that we see is lacking

[8:45]and that's why you look at many of the younger generation you

[8:50]look at many of the youth you look at many people they

[8:53]are struggling with what they're struggling with stress deviant kids their kids

[9:00]kids are astray they don't have the proper AK they don't have

[9:03]the religion some parents they're struggling with their children they see that

[9:08]their children do not listen to them or they can't get their

[9:14]way around with their children and this is a real test and

[9:17]when there is noia when there is no admonishment when there's no

[9:22]proper guidance coming from the parents to the children you find that

[9:29]the children are going to suffer and the parents are going to

[9:34]eventually suffer maybe right now they're just watching they're not doing anything

[9:38]but later on this will come and end up hurting them they

[9:42]will suffer and society and Community as a whole will suffer this

[9:46]is why my dear brothers and sisters from an Islamic perspective it

[9:49]is very important and obligatory upon every parent whether you're a father

[9:58]or mother to carry out responsibilities you're responsibility is not just to

[10:01]feed your child not just to put a roof over their head

[10:05]not just to give them the clothing that they need but your

[10:08]responsibility goes a level further and this is where we see many

[10:16]parents they are having shortcomings you find some parents they're very good

[10:21]with their their their children's materialistic life I make sure I put

[10:26]my child in the best school I make sure I get my

[10:29]child the proper teachers that they need so that they go to

[10:31]the best school the the education so that they could have a

[10:33]career and this is my view of my child having a successful

[10:38]life I do all of that many parents do that however they

[10:43]some parents they lack the religious Dimension the the admonishments the having

[10:54]your child know how to make proper decisions in life and this

[11:01]is something that is very critical for a successful family and a

[11:07]successful Society now my dear brothers and sisters proper and and raising

[11:14]of a child and upbringing of a child it has several needs

[11:18]there are several things that parents need to do in order to

[11:24]be able to raise their children properly one of the most important

[11:32]needs that every child has and this is a need that they

[11:36]require from their parents is the need for emotional attachment every child

[11:43]is in need of love every child is in need of care

[11:47]every child is in need of compassion and if you if you

[11:54]do not give that if a child does not receive that proper

[11:59]love and care and attachment you see that this child will suffer

[12:04]in fact muhamad in fact you see there are studies they show

[12:17]that children that are not given they are deprived of the love

[12:21]and the emotional attachment you see that they suffer they suffer their

[12:29]brain does not grow they they they will have social problems as

[12:32]they grow and there have been studies you know in the past

[12:34]they used to do these type of studies in the universities and

[12:38]they see for example a child they're fed a newborn child they're

[12:42]fed with a mil they're given a bottle and another child is

[12:47]carried and nurtured and held by their parents this child is going

[12:50]to be much more confident this child is going to develop much

[12:53]quicker and feel much better even though they're given the same nutrition

[12:58]but one of them is given love and the other is not

[13:00]given love one of the most important needs that every child has

[13:06]is the need to be loved every one of us needs that

[13:09]and it begins with children and this is something very important for

[13:15]the development and the growth of a child and when a parent

[13:19]does that when a parent does that then their CH their children

[13:23]are going to always resort to them their children in times of

[13:28]difficulty and Times of challenges when life is not going their way

[13:33]they're always going to come back to their parents today you look

[13:39]in Western societies what do they teach people to focus on they

[13:44]teach people to focus on your career focus on yourself your self

[13:49]growth and what do you do with a child when you have

[13:53]a child the child is still crawling the child has just begun

[13:57]walking where do you put that child you go and you throw

[14:01]the child in daycare you go and you throw the child in

[14:03]preschool let someone else show love and attachment to this child and

[14:09]this my dear brothers and sisters becomes harmful and then once the

[14:13]child is 18 years old the father comes and tells the child

[14:15]your time is up now I'm going to charge you rent now

[14:20]you need to go and live on your own and this is

[14:25]different from the Islamic upbringing the Islamic upbringing is very different Islam

[14:30]tells us to have that attachment with our children and children have

[14:34]attachment with their parents and this attachment never expires this attachment never

[14:38]comes to an end until death comes in between and this is

[14:45]why the religion of Islam insists on being connected with your family

[14:50]but it is reciprocated when the parents when the parents they are

[14:54]giving that love that attachment to their children that that need that

[15:00]they have they're not depriving them of their emotional needs then the

[15:04]children they are also going to be there for the parents but

[15:06]when the CH when the parents are removing and pushing away their

[15:09]children then they will not see that love be reciprocated now when

[15:15]we talk about emotional attachment what does that mean that means your

[15:22]child needs you in their life more than they need your money

[15:26]your child needs your precious time your child the child needs the

[15:31]parents the father and the mother they have to spend quality time

[15:36]with their children but we live in a society that does not

[15:38]allow that because we're working and we're operating like robots you go

[15:41]home work home and then you have to pay the mortgage pay

[15:47]the bills and that's it and we don't have proper time we

[15:53]don't have enough time to spend with our own children your most

[15:57]important investment in life you're the closest people to you we don't

[16:01]have the time to spend with and this becomes something that is

[16:07]very detrimental to society as a whole the personalities they begin to

[16:12]suffer because your child needs your time your child needs your love

[16:15]your child needs your attention when you give your child that time

[16:19]and that love and that attention then you will be able to

[16:23]keep them close then they will look at you as a role

[16:25]model then they will look at you when you're praying they're going

[16:29]to go and pray when you're fasting they're going to fast when

[16:32]you're practicing the religion of Islam they're going to see you as

[16:35]an icon they're going to see you as an idol in their

[16:40]life but if you deprive your children of that emotional attachment and

[16:44]that love and that care then they are not going to feel

[16:49]that sense of attachment this is why from a Islamic perspective you

[16:55]get theab as a parent you get reward from Allah subhana as

[17:01]a parent just by showing love to your children in a from

[17:05]from he says Allah subhah waala will show Mercy to a father

[17:16]to a mother to a person because of their love for their

[17:22]own children Allah will show you mercy and another Hadith says if

[17:32]you have a child then you become childlike with your children play

[17:38]with your children spend time with them because that's what they need

[17:42]don't deprive them of that and as they get older their needs

[17:45]are going to change you have to be there in your children's

[17:47]life you have to be there for them some parents they say

[17:51]I'm a parent but I just order and I tell my children

[17:55]you have to do this and you have to do that they

[17:56]might listen to you for a while but later on as soon

[18:00]as someone else comes and shows them that love and that attachment

[18:04]someone else shows them that care they're going to leave you and

[18:10]they're not going to respect you as a parent and respect you

[18:11]as a father and as a mother look at he talks about

[18:18]his son IM he writes him a letter to imass this is

[18:22]in he tells him I see that you're a Part of Me

[18:32]no you are everything in me he says if anything happens to

[18:46]you then this would hurt me this would make me suffer look

[18:50]at that he wants to begin giving admonishments to his son but

[18:56]he begins by love he begins by respect he begins by telling

[18:59]him if anything bad happens to you that were to happen to

[19:02]me you find some parents when they want to admonish their children

[19:05]what do they do they start yelling at them they start cursing

[19:08]at them sometimes they start becoming abusive and then they tell him

[19:12]now you have to do this of course they're not going to

[19:17]listen to that so this is something that is very important attract

[19:21]your children with love look at the prophets of Allah subhana wa

[19:27]taala Allah describes the prophets all of them they came to their

[19:31]communities with mercy and compassion the prophets they invited communities to religion

[19:43]through mercy and love this is a lesson for us if we

[19:45]want to do that with our own children we have to guide

[19:49]them and bring them closer with mercy and love and compassion this

[19:52]is number one second my dear brothers and sisters there needs to

[19:57]be a balance in our lives towards our children some parents they're

[20:02]all 100% love and compassion and care and yeah yeah go ahead

[20:08]and do whatever you want and there's no discipline there's no proper

[20:15]upbringing there's no admonishment there's no and Allah says in the Quran

[20:27]Allah says your job as a father your job as a mother

[20:35]is to command command the good and forbid the evil Allah subhana

[20:39]wa tala says I don't ask for anything from you other than

[20:42]fulfilling that obligation to your children you have to guide your children

[20:47]you have to show them the way you have to give them

[20:52]that proper upbringing and guidance that they deserve and this is this

[20:57]is it's okay it's okay this is something that that is very

[21:05]important for a parent something that is very important for a father

[21:10]and for a mother Allah subhana wa tala says in the Quran

[21:20]Allah says in the Quran don't go to paradise alone when you

[21:25]want to go to paradise try to take as many people as

[21:29]you can with you protect yourselves and protect your children and your

[21:38]family from the Hellfire it means that you need to give them

[21:41]that proper guidance you need to give them that proper upbringing and

[21:46]this means you spend time with them this means you admonish them

[21:51]this means you educate them and this means you have to be

[21:54]very Vigilant about your kids you have to be very vigilant as

[22:01]a parent today my dear brothers and sisters one of the greatest

[22:05]challenges that many parents face is the challenge of the gadgets and

[22:09]the iPad and YouTube in the home every child a young child

[22:14]as soon as they start crawling they know how to use the

[22:16]iPad and they know how to go to find the channels and

[22:20]there are channels that have millions of subscribers they are tailored and

[22:24]made for little kids they're not made for adults they make them

[22:27]for the three-year-old and they make them for the 2-year-old and they

[22:30]make them for the young child and this if it is not

[22:36]monitored if it's not watched by the parents because some parents they're

[22:40]like I'm busy here here take this iPad and you do whatever

[22:44]you want and the child is sitting for hours and hours having

[22:47]the screen time watching and the parents don't even know what they're

[22:51]watching the parents have no clue what their children are being exposed

[22:55]to would you come and feed your child some something that is

[23:00]not healthy would you come and put food in your child's stomach

[23:03]that is not healthy no parent does that you as a responsible

[23:06]parent you say no I have to be very careful what my

[23:10]children are watching but when it comes to what they're consuming what

[23:14]their eyes and what their little brains and minds are consuming you

[23:18]find some they are careless some they just want to relieve themselves

[23:23]of the responsibility and they give them the iPad or the TV

[23:26]and they put them some of these shows and now now see

[23:30]before you tell a child a movie that is rated PG-13 or

[23:37]a movie that is rated R this is something that is off

[23:39]limits you can't watch it now even the little the the cartoons

[23:45]that are made for children you see that they are infused with

[23:49]ideas that go against our beliefs you find even in some of

[23:55]the cartoons some of the cartoons out there that all kids are

[23:57]watching you see they come and confuse the child you have two

[24:03]fathers you have two mothers you and and and things that are

[24:05]very destructive to society this child doesn't even know some of the

[24:09]basics in life and they come and they throw this type of

[24:14]deviant behavior and Lifestyle on a child and this is very damaging

[24:17]and as a parent if you're not Vigilant then who do you

[24:23]expect to be vigilant this is number one second my dear brothers

[24:26]and sisters when it comes to the schooling are we aware of

[24:31]what our children are being taught in the schools right now in

[24:36]some communities in some societies there's an agenda how are they going

[24:40]to push that agenda on millions of young children through the school

[24:45]system and this is why as a community as Muslim communities we

[24:54]need to think about the importance of private schooling we need to

[24:58]think about the importance of maybe homeschooling if I have to of

[25:03]putting my kids in an environment that is going to be good

[25:09]for their health good for their not just a school that gives

[25:12]them in the best universities and gets them a good job but

[25:15]I need to make sure that my children have their secured and

[25:19]as a parent this is my responsibility as a parent this is

[25:22]my duty so this is something that we have to be very

[25:27]careful of because some of the school school systems and some of

[25:29]the education system and the books in the schools and what is

[25:35]being taught you see it is very deviant Behavior this is number

[25:39]two so we said number one give them the love second give

[25:44]them and balance it with the discipline and the upbringing and let

[25:48]them learn their religion and learn their faith number three my dear

[25:53]brothers and sisters parents need to raise their children in a way

[25:59]where they're not forcing and imposing beliefs on their children any idea

[26:04]even if it's a beautiful idea if it's forced on someone they're

[26:09]not going to accept it they're going to feel like this was

[26:15]something that was imposed on me and many times I feel and

[26:17]I see some young uh youth men and woman they came and

[26:23]they say my parents forced me to get this career and I

[26:25]hate it because my parents forced me to do it my parents

[26:29]forced me to marry such and such person and I feel that

[26:31]they oppressed me my parents forced me to practice my faith and

[26:37]belief and this is something that is dangerous as a parent yes

[26:41]we have the obligation to teach and guide and show the way

[26:49]but allow your children to reach that level of conviction and they

[26:54]make the decision show them the beauty of Salah then they will

[26:57]be from those who continue continue praying show them the beauty of

[27:02]the religion of Islam and then they will believe in the religion

[27:04]of Islam but if the religion of Islam is forced upon them

[27:07]then they're not going to believe it the moment that force is

[27:11]gone the moment they leave the house they go to the university

[27:14]they go to schools here and there and you see in we

[27:18]live in a society we live in a time where the moment

[27:20]you step foot in the University you see that there's an agenda

[27:24]against religion pushing people away from religion away from their values away

[27:29]from their beliefs and if this religion and this idea and this

[27:34]hijab and all of the prayer and all of that was forced

[27:38]on you they're going to take it off they're going to separate

[27:41]from it they're not going to respect it this is why as

[27:46]a parent we have a responsibility forcing someone is easier you just

[27:51]force someone to do something the harder job is to convince them

[27:56]that this is the right way and this is what you need

[27:58]to do as a parent you need to convince your children and

[28:01]your family about the religion of Islam convince them about Salah convince

[28:08]them about theab convince them about the importance of the values if

[28:12]you convince someone then they will never let go of it that's

[28:17]it he says use the tactic of Love rather than using the

[28:26]tactic of fear driven because you you could you could you could

[28:30]force someone to do something but the moment that fear is gone

[28:33]the moment they leave the house then they're going to do whatever

[28:35]they want but if you make your child bring your child to

[28:40]the level where they love the Salah where they love du where

[28:43]they love coming to the Masjid then even if you're not forcing

[28:47]them they're going to want to come and this is something very

[28:52]important now someone might come and say so what am I supposed

[28:55]to do as a parent am I supposed to Force the beliefs

[29:00]on them Force practices am I doesn't the Quran tell me that

[29:03]command my children to pray and command them to carry out their

[29:07]obligations yes we have a duty to command but the same way

[29:14]right now there's there's ways that you could give your children an

[29:19]incentive give them a reward talk to them try to convince them

[29:23]use different methods and different mechanisms to convince them that this is

[29:28]something that is good for you and this is the job of

[29:31]every parent the same way we do it with when we send

[29:32]our children to school when we tell our children to do basic

[29:37]things like brush your teeth do this and do that you're not

[29:39]hitting them you're not forcing it on them but you're using as

[29:44]a parent you're using the tools within your capability to try to

[29:49]convince them to do that which is right and try to have

[29:53]them believe that that is the right thing to do when the

[29:56]prophet migrated from Mecca to Medina there was a community that lived

[30:04]in Medina and many of them were were kufar they were Idol

[30:06]worshippers and in Medina there was a community of Jews that were

[30:14]living in Medina so those non-believers they put their children in the

[30:18]schools and under the teaching of some of the Jews and the

[30:24]Christians because they knew that the Jews and the Christians they had

[30:27]more knowledge than them they were Jah they were pagans so they

[30:31]gave them to the Jews and the Christians so that they could

[30:36]teach them and some of these children they ended up becoming Christians

[30:39]they they ended up becoming following in the jewi Jewish path then

[30:45]migrated to Medina and the parents who were initially initially they were

[30:50]kuf they joined the religion of Islam but they go to their

[30:55]children they tell them come and join the religion of Islam and

[30:57]their children tells them no I now I want to remain on

[31:02]this path now I want to remain as a cfir I I

[31:04]want to remain as a non-muslim so the parents they come to

[31:10]and they tell the prophet should we force our children to join

[31:17]the religion of Islam should we force the religion upon our children

[31:21]andah Bak came down and which Ayah very important Ayah is inah

[31:29]Bak that that we read for Allah subhana T says there should

[31:52]be no compulsion in religion why because because false Ood is very

[32:01]clear from that which is good every person they need to make

[32:11]the decision so told them no there's no compulsion in religion now

[32:16]what does this mean Scholars they say it means don't force religion

[32:23]upon someone this is one meaning to understand it another meaning to

[32:27]look at it is it means you can even if you wanted

[32:32]to if you want to force someone to love someone if you

[32:34]want to force someone to hate someone can you force them you

[32:36]can't this is a feeling that's in the heart it cannot be

[32:41]forced upon anyone so here some parents they ask this question so

[32:47]if I'm not supposed to and a lot of young people they

[32:51]come and they say you you come and you tell them this

[32:52]is halal this Isam get up and pray fast in the month

[32:57]of Ramadan wear the hijab what do they first say there's no

[33:02]compulsion in religion why are you telling me to do this is

[33:06]not about theam of the religion of Islam about the prayer the

[33:13]fasting and the hijab and and and this and that is about

[33:17]accepting the whole religion but if someone is already identifying as a

[33:23]Muslim if someone is already identifying as a believing Muslim they've already

[33:29]accepted the religion then here as a parent as a society as

[33:33]a community you have the right to impose some rulings regarding that

[33:38]Faith because now you believe in the religion of Islam so now

[33:45]I'm going to uh command you and do the and however the

[33:49]best way to guide your children my dear brothers and sisters and

[33:54]not only our children we live in a non-muslim society your neighbor

[34:00]your cooworker people around you is by having them be convinced show

[34:04]them the beauty of Islam show them the of Islam unfortunately we

[34:08]Muslims we do a great deal of disservice to the religion of

[34:12]Islam because we don't show people the beauty of Islam unfortunately many

[34:17]of us have shortcomings with that Allah subhana wa tala says in

[34:22]the Quran invite for the sake of your Lord with wisdom what

[34:35]does wisdom mean wisdom means that you say what you need to

[34:41]say at the right time sometimes it might be not it might

[34:43]not be the appropriate time and good admonishments and if anyone is

[34:53]debating with you so this is the third point my dear brothers

[35:00]and sisters a fourth point which is very crucial for having proper

[35:08]children that have the upbringing and the guidance and the and the

[35:14]this is a very important point and we were talking about this

[35:20]last night and that is your house has to be a stable

[35:23]house when there is stability in the home then you're going to

[35:29]be able ble to raise children in a good way but when

[35:31]the parents don't see eye to eye with one another when the

[35:36]parents disrespect one another when the parents when the husband does not

[35:40]support the wife and the wife does not support the husband in

[35:42]raising the children and give them giving them the and the proper

[35:46]upbringing you see that they're not going to listen to them because

[35:51]the child is going to say if my mother does not respect

[35:53]my father then why should I listen to my father if my

[35:57]father does not care for the rule rules of my mother then

[35:59]why should I respect that so this is something that is very

[36:05]important and I've seen many families when the parents the husband and

[36:08]the wife they see eye to eye with one another in their

[36:14]same approach their same beliefs they're same they're compatible in their thinking

[36:17]when it comes to their children and raising their children you see

[36:21]the children are going to be raised in a proper way but

[36:24]when the parents when the father he's doing something and the mother

[36:27]she's doing something else and each one is in their own world

[36:32]then the victims are going to be the children and they're not

[36:35]going to be giving give be given that care that they deserve

[36:41]and that they require so this is something that is very important

[36:47]as parents the parents need to be United and this is something

[36:52]that you need to talk if you're getting to marry someone getting

[36:55]to know someone talk to them what is your outlook on on

[36:59]raising children what is your view on raising children this is something

[37:03]very important if they are on the same page then the children

[37:05]are going to be raised properly and the fifth and final point

[37:09]that I want to mention my dear brothers and sisters one of

[37:13]the keys to a successful household and raising of children in a

[37:19]good way is for the parents for the father and the mother

[37:27]to be patient Sometimes some of the greatest tests that we are

[37:31]tested in life are test with our children Allah subh says in

[37:38]the Quran Allah subhah wa tala is not going to test you

[37:45]with something that's far from you Allah is going to test you

[37:49]with the nearest thing and dearest thing to you the two dearest

[37:52]things to you are your wealth and your children and Allah subhah

[37:55]wa ta'ala tests us with our children just like Allah subhah wa

[38:02]tala tested many of the prophets ibraim was tested with his children

[38:05]is was tested with his son was tested he did not have

[38:16]a child y was tested he was separated from YF was tested

[38:18]he would have sons and they would die some of the biggest

[38:24]tests that a person has tested in life are tests when it

[38:27]comes to with the children and this is why the key to

[38:34]being a successful parent is to have patience Allah says in the

[38:40]and be extra patient not just because you need to be even

[38:48]more Vigilant you need to be even more careful you need to

[38:53]be more patient and sometimes requires patience change doesn't happen overnight sometimes

[39:01]you need to work on your child for months and years and

[39:04]then you will be able to see the change so having patience

[39:09]Sometimes some parents they're tested with their children and that their children

[39:13]are devient their children don't listen to them their children give them

[39:17]a headache their children cause problems for them you still need to

[39:23]be patient sometimes you need to be patient in teaching them the

[39:26]Salah and teach and waking them up for the F prayer and

[39:28]teaching them the I know some parents they drive an hour or

[39:35]more or less to to take their kids to a proper school

[39:40]to take their kids to a private school they they they they

[39:45]make that commitment you need to be patient and yes sometimes people

[39:50]are tested with their children either losing a child this is a

[39:54]test probably one of the most difficult tests that I person could

[39:59]be tested with in their life is when they're tested with their

[40:03]children e either the child is sick or they lost the child

[40:05]and this is something that is very heartbreaking something that is very

[40:09]sad but just as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala rewards you through your

[40:15]child Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala rewards you through the success of the

[40:18]child and Allah also rewards you through the suffering of a child

[40:22]the Hadith says that when your CH when a parent their child

[40:29]is sick the child is for example has a fever Allah subhanahu

[40:32]wa ta'ala will reward the mother and Allah will reward the father

[40:35]for their patience in a Hadith from Imad he says when a

[40:44]child dies when a young child and this is a very sad

[40:49]it happens to many people where they lose their the dearest person

[40:52]to them when a child dies Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala asks the

[40:57]angels did you take away did you take away the dearest from

[41:04]my ab from my servant they tell him yes we took away

[41:07]the dearest person from your servant then Allah subhah wa taala tells

[41:11]them did you take away the apple of his heart you took

[41:17]it away from him they say yes Allah subh yes I we

[41:22]took that away from him then Allah subhah wa ta'ala tells the

[41:25]Angels what was the reaction of this person when you took away

[41:32]that child from them the Angels they say this person's reaction [Music]

[41:40]wasd they said alhamdulillah Say alhamdulillah in any case in any circumstances

[41:48]and say to Allah we belong and to Allah shall return Then

[41:53]Allah subhah wa tala tells the angels tell my ab that in

[42:02]Paradise he will be given a house that is called the home

[42:09]of Praise this is given to the parents and this is given

[42:13]to families that have lost their loved ones especially their children and

[42:17]yet they remained patient yet they never objected to the will of

[42:20]Allah subhanahu wa tala and in the Hadith parents that had lost

[42:26]their child they came to Al and he tells them your child

[42:34]and your child especially a newborn or a child that is a

[42:38]child that is not yet your child will go straight to paradise

[42:44]but this child he does not enter or she does not enter

[42:46]Paradise they wait at the Gate of Paradise The Angels tell this

[42:53]child why don't you go enter into Paradise the child says I

[42:56]will not enter until I take my mother and my father with

[43:00]me this is the mercy that Allah subhah wa ta'ala places on

[43:03]the parents that are patient I will conclude with the story there

[43:09]was from the S of there was a man by the name

[43:17]of Abu Talha and he has a wife the wife is um

[43:18]um and Abu Talha and they were they had a child that

[43:24]was sick so um she was taking care of the child and

[43:29]Abu Talha he goes on a business trip he travels and when

[43:34]Abu Talha had traveled the young child died and the mother she

[43:37]was patient she buries her child and she remains steadfast she remains

[43:47]patient and Abu tal comes back from his journey and she has

[43:49]the food ready for him and she's waiting for him and she

[43:55]welcomes him and she he she lets him come home and rest

[43:58]and after he's rested she tells him oh Abu if our neighbors

[44:04]gave us something to borrow and then they asked us to give

[44:10]it back to them should we give it back to them he

[44:11]tolds her of course we should give it back to them what

[44:16]kind of question is that if our neighbors gave us something to

[44:19]borrow and they asked for it back we give it back to

[44:24]them then she tells him oh Abu Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave

[44:27]us the am and Allah took back that am Allah subhah wa

[44:34]ta'ala gave us a child and Allah took back that child look

[44:37]at the approach that she came with she came with a very

[44:45]very good approach that let that allowed her husband to be patient

[44:50]and to be accepting of the m and the tragedy Abu he

[44:53]goes and he tells alai he tells Allah I came home and

[44:59]this is what my wife did she tells me am and if

[45:02]our neighbors and Allah took it back became very happy and he

[45:09]tells he tells he promises them both and he and he prays

[45:11]for both of them and Allah subhah wa ta'ala gave them another

[45:17]child Allah subhana wa tala replaced them with a child so my

[45:19]dear brothers and sisters when it comes to children we need to

[45:24]be very Vigilant sometimes we have to be patient some sometimes times

[45:28]we are tested through our children and being patient means that we

[45:31]have to love we have to give that emotional attachment it means

[45:36]that we have to raise them and give them the and teach

[45:38]them the religion of Islam it means we have to allow them

[45:43]to make their own decisions our job as parents is to guide

[45:47]them and they make the decisions and this if we are able

[45:52]to carry out these five very important steps then we will inshallah

[45:56]be able to raise our children in a proper way we ask

[46:00]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bless all the parents and all the

[46:06]children so that the parents they raise their children in a way

[46:10]that is pleasing to Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala let us raise our hands

[46:15]in Dua [Music] for for [Music] [Music] [Music] in a [Music]

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التالي

What it Takes to be a Good Parent - Sayed Saleh Al-Qazwini

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التالي

What it Takes to be a Good Parent - Sayed Saleh Al-Qazwini

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