Night 3: Toxic Relationships - Sayed Saleh Qazwini | 2023 MYC Ramadan Program

4 المشاهدات· 23/03/26

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Night 3: Toxic Relationships - Sayed Saleh Qazwini | 2023 MYC Ramadan Program Make sure to subscribe to our channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVHzTrxNi8ZhbmZjUAEESaw Follow the Muslim Youth Connection on social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mycmedia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/muslimyouthconnection Twitter: https://twitter.com/_mycmedia YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/mycmedia _____________________________________________________________ Donate via PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=KWEVNFAL86ZL6&source=url

أظهر المزيد

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[0:00]Muhammad one of the main functions of Islam as a religion is

[0:15]to help us create and maintain and sustain relationships this is what

[0:26]religion is establishing a vertical relationship between me and my Lord between

[0:33]me and my Creator this is a relationship and second it teaches

[0:41]me to establish healthy relationships with people around me this is a

[0:50]horizontal relationship with my parents with my family with my friends with

[0:56]my neighbors so religion is all about relationships and we the human

[1:01]being is all about relationships as well we're a social being we

[1:05]cannot live a day in our life without interacting without communicating without

[1:13]having a connection with other people so this is the purpose of

[1:22]religion to establish relationships and we see that in our lives there's

[1:29]a hierarchy of relationships you have a very important relationship and then

[1:34]you have a less important relationship and then you keep going down

[1:38]and down what is the most important relationship any single person should

[1:44]have in their life the relationship with Allah the bond with God

[1:53]that is the single most important relationship that you will ever have

[1:58]in your life whether you realize it or not whether you acknowledge

[2:02]it or not that is the most important Bond and relationship in

[2:08]your life and Allah has commanded us Allah has ordered us your

[2:20]lord has decreed that you do not have a relationship of worshiping

[2:29]anyone other than Allah ends my purpose here on life is to

[2:40]worship God I am Allah there is no deity that is worthy

[2:47]of being worshiped other than me worship me because the hour is

[3:09]coming because the day of judgment is coming sometimes when we have

[3:13]relationships we forget our final destination we forget where we're going have

[3:21]you seen someone driving in a car and they forget where their

[3:25]destination is this is what our life is you're struggling you're striving

[3:40]you're moving towards your lord until you will meet your lord so

[3:44]this is why my dear brothers and sisters the most important relationship

[3:48]that you will ever have in your life is your relationship with

[3:53]your lord and sometimes we see some people they sacrifice that relationship

[4:00]for the sake of other relationships but that's not how it should

[4:05]be the most important the most consequential relationship and bond that you

[4:12]will have in your life should be your relationship with God your

[4:16]relationship with Allah yes even if it's your best friends even if

[4:26]it's the closest person to you if they are coming in between

[4:31]you and your relationship with God then that becomes a toxic relationship

[4:36]the moment any person in your life whoever it may be whether

[4:42]it's your best friend it's your cousins it's your family it's your

[4:47]parents it's your co-worker whoever it is if that relationship ends up

[4:52]coming between you and your relationship with God it becomes toxic it

[4:58]becomes destructive why because there will come a day where every single

[5:03]person will wish that they did not have any relationship any bond

[5:08]that came between them Allah whoever it may be we have a

[5:19]general rule even if it's your parents even if it's your wife

[5:21]even if it's your husband even if it's your best friend your

[5:25]teacher whoever it may be if they're telling you to do something

[5:29]to disobey God you don't obey them because we have a general

[5:33]rule there's no obedience to a creation at the expense of disobeying

[5:43]the Creator this should be a rule that you have in your

[5:46]life whether you're at Family whether work business career whatever it may

[5:51]be this should be the rule that you live in your life

[6:27]if your parents your fathers or your children or your brothers or

[6:35]your tribe or your wealth or your tajara your business or your

[6:42]homes are more beloved to you than your relationship with God then

[6:47]be prepared for the order of Allah is the womb the womb

[6:56]of a lady the womb of the mother is called means you

[7:00]have to keep that blood connection you have to keep her connected

[7:04]anyone who you have blood relationship to anyone who's your family you

[7:09]have a responsibility to this person you have a duty to this

[7:14]person and it's actually Haram a lot of people don't know this

[7:18]it's Haram to disconnect with your it's Haram to disconnect with your

[7:23]family Allah says in the Quran and the family you have a

[7:34]responsibility and duty to your family has a is the one who's

[7:46]very careful and cautious not to break that bond with your family

[7:51]with your relatives after your family we have an extended Circle the

[7:59]larger circle of friends community members neighbors our neighbors have a rights

[8:03]upon us our friends people who we associate with they have a

[8:10]haq upon us and Islam as a religion provides for us a

[8:13]criteria on who to befriend and how to deal with our friends

[8:19]how should I deal with my friends what should I do now

[8:23]someone might come and say what does the religion of Islam have

[8:28]to do with this the religion of Islam is my relationship with

[8:30]God and alhamdulillah I have a healthy relationship with my Lord and

[8:34]why does it matter if I'm befriending this person or that person

[8:37]why does it matter if I'm talking to this person or that

[8:42]person why does my religion have to get involved in every single

[8:45]detail in my life why does it matter if I'm talking to

[8:52]someone who is perhaps not a really good person not a really

[8:55]moral person here someone might ask this question but the answer is

[9:05]that we are deeply impacted by our relationships we are deeply impacted

[9:11]by who we associate with and there's this famous saying show me

[9:17]who your friends are show me who your friends are and I

[9:24]will tell you who you are and this saying goes in line

[9:28]with the Hadith he says you are on the religion on the

[9:41]faith of your friends so tell me who are your friends that

[9:44]will tell you which religion which Faith which madhab you're on this

[9:49]is very important point a lot of people they think that it's

[9:54]okay for me to befriend any person out there and the answer

[9:58]is no yes there are some people who they do not have

[10:03]a bad impact on my life it's okay to be friends with

[10:08]this person but sometimes a friend could be very misleading a so-called

[10:12]friend not a real friend this person could end up destroying your

[10:18]life if you end up getting in the wrong crowd if you

[10:22]end up associating with the wrong person this could be very destructive

[10:27]very destructive to your life to your afterlife to your career to

[10:36]everything that you have in this life a while ago a brother

[10:41]comes to me and he tells me say it I was raised

[10:46]by a good family my father goes to work nine to five

[10:49]he's trying to make us live a comfortable life even my mom

[10:55]she started working so that we can live comfortably but I started

[11:03]associating with the wrong crowd I started hanging out with the wrong

[11:09]group of people in the beginning it was all laughs and jokes

[11:14]and games and there was nothing wrong with it but then later

[11:19]on The Vape started getting introduced and then after that the drugs

[11:27]started slowly getting introduced and then the Haram relationships got introduced and

[11:34]slowly I saw myself turning away from my faith turning away from

[11:40]my family turning away from everything that my whole family has been

[11:43]working for and I found myself lost I found myself hanging out

[11:50]with the wrong group of people a group of people that don't

[11:56]want the good for me but then he tells me suddenly I

[12:00]decided to have a change in my life I woke up and

[12:04]I realized that this is not the way to be and I

[12:08]changed my friends I stopped hanging out with the wrong group of

[12:12]people and now I'm grateful that I have made that decision my

[12:19]dear brothers and sisters there are many people that did not make

[12:23]that decision there are many people that did not wake up you

[12:27]know when they ended up waking up when they got the shock

[12:32]from the angel of death or when they got the shock that

[12:34]their whole life has been destroyed how many times a year do

[12:41]we hear of a youth a 20 year old or someone in

[12:45]their 20s or in their teens or in their 30s suddenly they

[12:47]died and they're bringing their janaza to the masjids and we're attending

[12:51]the funeral of a young person The Strangers it's not just the

[12:59]people that we see far away sometimes a toxic relationship could be

[13:02]someone who's very close to you maybe someone that you see every

[13:06]day maybe this person is a relative maybe this person is a

[13:12]family maybe this is your best friend and you haven't realized that

[13:16]this is an unhealthy relationship and the Quran gives us examples of

[13:23]relationships that turn toxic sometimes it might be even the parents sometimes

[13:32]a parent could be toxic Allah says in the Quran was there

[13:59]was during the time of rasulullah there were occasions where certain individuals

[14:05]they would join the religion of Islam and their parents they would

[14:09]pressure them to worship idols that becomes a toxic relationship even if

[14:14]it's your parents even if it's your loved ones if they're bringing

[14:20]you away from Allah you don't obey them that's it no Obedience

[14:30]of anyone any person at the expense of Disobedience to Allah it's

[14:36]not worth it it's not worth it because at the end of

[14:40]the day we all will stand before Allah and we will be

[14:47]judged by Allah but when it comes to parents here is a

[14:52]very important point when it comes to parents even if the parents

[14:55]might be telling you something that is wrong what can you do

[15:02]here your your hands are tied in Islam because when it comes

[15:07]to parents there's a level of respect there's a level of obedience

[15:12]says you have to show them you have to love them but

[15:17]if they're diso if they're telling you to disobey Allah all that

[15:23]you can do is don't obey them in that matter but you

[15:25]have to still love them you still have to show them respect

[15:31]you still have to show them today there's a trend going on

[15:33]I see some of the youth inshallah none of them are in

[15:38]this room they come and they tell me say it my parents

[15:42]are toxic your parents are toxic who was the one who fed

[15:48]you who was the one who raised you who's the one that

[15:50]gave everything to you you grew your flesh Grew From the blood

[15:57]of your mother it was your mother's milk that made you who

[16:01]you are now you come and you say my parents are toxic

[16:06]get a life your parents are not toxic the only time it

[16:10]could become toxic is if they're telling you to disobey Allah but

[16:15]if they're telling you to come home at 11 o'clock that doesn't

[16:19]make them toxic if they're telling you to be careful for your

[16:22]grades for your life for your career that doesn't make them toxic

[16:26]sometimes we need to reassess the way we look at things my

[16:31]dear brothers and sisters and this thinking it comes from hanging around

[16:37]with the wrong group when we start hanging around with the wrong

[16:41]group this person makes me perceive my parents to be the enemy

[16:45]they make me perceive My Religion to be the enemy my values

[16:50]to be the enemy no your parents are not the enemy your

[16:53]religion is not the enemy your religion wants you to be a

[16:59]better person Allah wants you to build this life and the afterlife

[17:02]so this is one type of relationship sometimes Allah describes a toxic

[17:09]relationship could be the kids inshallah when you have kids one of

[17:16]the biggest tests that every single parent is tested with as their

[17:20]kids will test you through your children and some of the greatest

[17:31]individuals were tested with their children is there anyone greater than Prophet

[17:34]salaam Prophet Noah he was tested with his own son Allah tells

[17:57]him that's it the moment you tried to guide this person you

[18:03]tried to show this person the way you kept guiding him guiding

[18:05]him guiding him he rejected that's it yes it's heartbreaking maybe it's

[18:16]destructive but at the end of the day you cannot sacrifice your

[18:20]because of your children you cannot sacrifice your afterlife because of your

[18:26]relationships that's it there comes a time where relationships have to come

[18:30]to an end even if it's a very close relationship sometimes the

[18:35]Quran describes a toxic relationship being the wife sometimes Allah gives the

[18:42]example of Allah two prophets of God prophet and Prophet Noah they

[19:01]were prophets of God but their wives were not believers their wives

[19:05]were not Believers that's it this becomes a toxic relationship sometimes it's

[19:12]the husband the Quran mentions she was a Believer and her husband

[19:38]was frowned a man who used to say he began to torture

[19:42]her he began to abuse her and torture her he places a

[19:45]huge Boulder on her body he tells her accept me to be

[19:53]God she says oh Allah I don't want the mansions and the

[19:57]Palaces and everything in this Dunya Rabbi benili and Phil Jannah build

[20:02]me for you a house in Paradise yes disconnect with any relationship

[20:13]that is toxic so here from the Quran we understand that any

[20:18]relationship we're not immune any relationship could turn toxic this is why

[20:24]it's very important for us to be very careful of our relationships

[20:27]this is why we have to choose Ponder and make decisions and

[20:39]what was the second gift choice you have free choice just like

[20:42]you can choose your religion also choose your friends choose who you

[20:48]associate with sometimes even if someone is funny even if someone keeps

[20:54]cracking jokes and they're really funny is it worth it it's not

[20:58]worth it is it worth losing the akhara is it worth sacrificing

[21:03]the afterlife for the sake of that friend no now what should

[21:09]I do with these people depends who it is if it's just

[21:17]a friend then that's it and the relationship and the relationship it's

[21:20]not hard you end it you disassociate with this person you escape

[21:24]from this person because this person will end up destroying your life

[21:29]and your afterlife if it's if it's a blood relative it's if

[21:35]it's family here we can't disconnect totally remember we talked about you

[21:42]can't disconnect with family but what you can do is make it

[21:48]less that's it draw boundaries draw boundaries draw perimeter about around this

[21:53]person don't always associate with this person on the day of Aid

[21:56]you call this person that's it you don't have to every day

[22:03]hang around this person every day associate with this person oh you

[22:07]should do be responsible for the decisions that you make now we

[22:13]mentioned one of the first requirements for a relationship or how do

[22:19]I know if I'm in a toxic relationship with someone ask myself

[22:25]this question this person could be my brother this person could be

[22:29]my friend this person could be my neighbor this person could be

[22:33]your spouse this person could be anyone who you hang around with

[22:39]ask this question does my relationship with this person bring me closer

[22:43]to God or does it bring me further away from God and

[22:48]you answer the question you answer ask yourself me associating with this

[22:54]person is this a relationship that's healthy for my Akra or is

[22:59]it not healthy for my when you get the answer then you

[23:05]will be able to make the correct decision now um he has

[23:19]a beautiful Hadith on who to associate with how should I choose

[23:26]my friend who should I spend time with you know sometimes the

[23:30]time that we spend with our friends and buddies ends up being

[23:34]more than the time we spend with our parents it ends up

[23:37]being more than the time we spend at school it ends up

[23:41]being more than the time that we spend in the Masjid more

[23:42]than the time we spend with Allah so it's a very important

[23:48]relationship this is you're on the religion on the faith of your

[23:55]friend so be very careful who you choose as a friend he

[24:03]says it's not a relationship it's not a friendship maybe someone I

[24:12]see you don't have to consider this person a friend a buddy

[24:15]maybe it's a person that I just associate with maybe it's someone

[24:21]at school maybe it's a co-worker foreign I would say in minha

[24:33]Islam he gives five conditions he says if these apply to your

[24:40]friend the person that you choose as a friend then later on

[24:44]say this person is my friend and then he says he is

[24:53]but if these do not apply then you don't consider this person

[24:58]your friend so what is it first and what does this mean

[25:10]this means that this person in public and in private they're the

[25:15]same with you there are some people in public and then in

[25:22]private they make fun of you in private they're backbiting in private

[25:25]they're going to talk about you is this person really a friend

[25:31]is this person you really want to associate with no and takuna

[25:38]meaning in secret and in private in public and in private it's

[25:44]the same this person doesn't change if I love you then I'm

[25:46]going to love you in private or in public I'm not going

[25:51]to talk behind your back I'm not going to laugh in your

[25:55]face and then stab you in your back there's a lot of

[25:58]people that have that disease by the way in front of people

[26:00]this is nifak this is a hypocrisy where in front of your

[26:05]face they laugh they smile they they praise you behind your back

[26:08]they talk about your back this person is dangerous stay away from

[26:12]this person this is one second this person they will see that

[26:26]if something good happened to you they will say this is good

[26:28]happen to me they want the good for you and if something

[26:32]bad happened to you they will consider it bad for them Advance

[26:35]the moment you grow the moment you reach their level they start

[26:43]looking at you huh no you know they start getting uncomfortable is

[26:47]that person worthy of being your friend is that person someone who

[26:54]is worthy of you spending your time with because the brothers the

[27:00]many and they are brothers they love one another they care for

[27:05]one another love for your brother for your men what you love

[27:09]for yourself if I want to have a nice car why should

[27:13]I not want that for my brother if I want to have

[27:16]a nice house why should I not want that for another movement

[27:18]but there are some people they only want the good for themselves

[27:21]and they get uncomfortable when someone else has it this was the

[27:28]second third this person has not changed suddenly this person has power

[27:42]suddenly this person became rich and then you talk to them you

[27:45]see they're looking down at you you see they're making fun of

[27:50]you suddenly they become better because they have wealth and they have

[27:54]power and this is dangerous this is dangerous because Allah says in

[27:59]the Quran once a person feels that their granny feels that they're

[28:07]rich feels that they don't need anyone they start transgressing they start

[28:12]abusing they start hurting other people with their words with their actions

[28:20]with Their Manners you don't want to be friends with someone like

[28:24]that someone that's changed by a few dollars because they have a

[28:28]few dollars now they're looking down at you don't be friends with

[28:31]this person fourth and I am not okay if this person is

[28:41]able to help you if I have the power and ability to

[28:45]help this person and I don't then that means I'm not this

[28:49]is not a good friend because what's a friend for a friend

[28:54]is someone that you have to rely on someone that will step

[28:56]up for you someone that will be there for you in a

[29:00]time that you're in need but when you're in need they are

[29:02]able to help you and they refuse to help you this person

[29:06]this person is not good to be friends don't be friends with

[29:09]this person don't waste your time with this person don't waste your

[29:12]life with someone like that and the fifth according he says and

[29:20]this it gathers all of them it gathers all of them it

[29:26]sums up all of them this person will not let you down

[29:34]in time of distress in time of distress now I'm not in

[29:38]distress I don't need anyone but there might come a time when

[29:42]I'm in distress that is when you will know who your real

[29:44]friends are when you're in need when you're struggling maybe Financial struggle

[29:50]maybe mental struggle maybe emotional struggle maybe psychological struggle that's when you

[29:57]know who your friends are that's when you know who will stand

[29:59]with you who's not going to give up on you other than

[30:03]these my dear brothers and sisters it might be a toxic relationship

[30:06]toxic relationship could be destructive to your life to your afterlife this

[30:14]is why you have to be very careful and my dear brothers

[30:19]and sisters this is why Islam focuses on relationships because if you

[30:22]have a healthy relationship in life you will excel you will excel

[30:28]healthy relationship with God Health your relationship with your family with your

[30:30]parents with your friends in fact we are defined by our relationships

[30:35]that's how we're defined in life they ask this person how is

[30:41]this person this person has a healthy relationship with God this person

[30:45]is is trustworthy this person is honest this person could be relied

[30:48]upon that is how you are defined through your relationships and this

[30:53]is why Islam is a religion it's not just all spirituality Islam

[30:58]focuses on these type of things Salaam he says in a Hadith

[31:07]he says if you want to Define what a motman is who

[31:12]is a Believer he says he says do not be misled when

[31:22]you see someone praying and fasting and giving zakat meaning going up

[31:28]and down in the middle of the night so they asked him

[31:32]then how do we know who's a woman how do we know

[31:35]who's a believer he tells them two things is this person honest

[31:46]and is this person trustworthy that is how you know who a

[31:50]movement is that is how God defines who Our Moment is because

[31:53]your prayer your fasting your Hajj all of that that's between you

[31:59]and God but Allah doesn't want me to be a person living

[32:01]in a box living in a shell and just praying to God

[32:05]your religion is supposed to make you a better person your religion

[32:11]and your values and your Islam that's supposed to make you be

[32:15]a person that people in society are going to say masha'allah I'm

[32:17]proud of this person and people are not going to say masha'allah

[32:22]because you're praying people are going to say masha'allah when your truth

[32:26]when you're truthful when you could be trusted and that is who

[32:32]you should choose as a friend my dear brothers and sisters we

[32:37]ask Allah to bless you all we ask Allah to make us

[32:42]build healthier relationships you don't have to have many friends there are

[32:48]some people they say if you tell them this they say but

[32:52]say it that means I'll only have one or two friends so

[32:54]what have one or two friends do you want to have bad

[32:57]friends or you want to have a good friend it's about the

[33:00]quality not about the quantity so we ask Allah to make us

[33:08]have healthy relationships in this life for our relationships are what build

[33:14]the afterlife let us raise our hands into Allah These Are the

[33:20]nights of the holy month of Ramadan we ask Allah to bless

[33:25]you all and to help us be of those who take advantage

[33:28]and benefit from the night of the holy month of ramadanias foreign

[34:30]foreign let's go

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التالي

Night 3: Toxic Relationships - Sayed Saleh Qazwini | 2023 MYC Ramadan Program

Transcript

التالي

استكشاف المزيد

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التالي

Night 3: Toxic Relationships - Sayed Saleh Qazwini | 2023 MYC Ramadan Program

Transcript

التالي

استكشاف المزيد

اختيار طريقة الدفع

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