How to Mentally Prepare for a New Year - Hajj Wissam Bazzi | MYC

6 Bekeken· 21/01/02

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Transcript

[0:05]someone asked me how did you meet your wife my fiance i

[0:15]said to them i had to meet myself first it's a profound

[0:22]statement i didn't have that it just came to me for some

[0:30]reason it just happened when you think about that what does it

[0:35]mean to really meet yourself first who are you if you really

[0:46]dig deep you'll see you're just a bunch of concepts that's it

[0:52]that's all you own a bunch of concepts that connect together it's

[1:01]a web of information in your head just like you type in

[1:07]on google and you search it's the same thing when a challenge

[1:11]appears in front of you your brain types in the google its

[1:16]own google what do you think it does it searches for the

[1:21]answer it just so happened that when someone asked me that question

[1:30]how did you meet your fiance wife i said to them i

[1:37]had to meet myself first that means there's a relationship with me

[1:47]do i like me do i despise me that's a tough question

[2:02]money is easy to count emotions are very difficult to understand you

[2:08]ask a person how do you feel they're like they start to

[2:19]give you examples they run around a million different places in the

[2:23]google search in their head and they're trying to give you an

[2:29]answer but it's very difficult to do that to describe emotion we

[2:32]don't even have the vocabulary sometimes to actually describe the emotion of

[2:39]what we feel google can't do that your brain can it can

[2:50]literally attach your ideas to emotions now when that happens you have

[2:59]a concept then you have an emotion connected to that concept that's

[3:05]the drive you're pushing yourself forward subhanallah so when you begin to

[3:16]meet yourself what happens you have to go on the inside and

[3:20]see what you truly have to search for what makes me me

[3:29]so tonight as we begin a new year we have to search

[3:38]who am i what did i do in the past year are

[3:44]there some things that i regret are there some things that i'm

[3:47]really proud of and i feel great how did i end up

[3:52]here it's the first day of the year what did i do

[3:58]when i began to take account and i look back and i

[4:07]remember i said something negative to my father i said something hurtful

[4:14]to my wife i did something to my kids i shouldn't have

[4:24]on a personal level when i'm alone in my room you check

[4:33]yourself then if you truly get there your heart will begin to

[4:39]cry on its own trust me on its own if you get

[4:46]to that spot in your heart and that spot tells you your

[4:53]obligations of what you should and what you shouldn't do allah has

[4:58]placed it there in your heart you cannot reject your own truth

[5:01]you can't it's too powerful it will talk to you but what

[5:09]do we do we silence it we remove the guilt we justify

[5:14]it's okay i have a long way to go i have a

[5:20]long distance salaam he says i fear for you two things that

[5:25]you think that you're going to live for a long time then

[5:31]on that level you begin to understand when my heart begins to

[5:40]cry and i even look further and i say man that pleasure

[5:47]is gone what i indulged in is gone one year ago but

[5:57]the consequences are still with me the weight is on my heart

[6:04]i can't get rid of the blackness the darkness that's in here

[6:09]i can't do it and i'm losing track and i'm slipping away

[6:15]and my heart begins to move it begins to talk to me

[6:20]where are you going why are you taking me here why i'm

[6:26]not supposed to be here there's indecent things here why so tonight

[6:36]ticket is a night a reflection think to yourself imam ali was

[6:43]known to be by himself in the middle of the night he

[6:48]would sit in his maharab his prayer niche and he would stroke

[6:51]his beard and he would talk do that talk to yourself get

[7:00]to know and meet me meet yourself for the first time and

[7:05]shed some skin and tell yourself you know what i'm going to

[7:14]change this year on that note brothers and sisters i say to

[7:21]you happy new year to self-development is the concept is when a

[8:01]person can change the characteristics of who they are it's you developing

[8:08]yourself to the next stage a person came to him and he

[8:22]says to him i have an addiction i'm addicted to eating mud

[8:27]hard clay i'm addicted to it and imam sadik alaihi salaam he

[8:35]says to him he says why are you so in love with

[8:42]that the man says he says i cannot help it i can't

[8:44]i'm conditioned i'm emotionally conditioned he doesn't say that per se i'm

[8:50]using some science here but on that level he's telling him my

[8:53]heart is in a certain state i have an emotion that when

[8:58]i see clay i'm addicted my heart moves towards it i cannot

[9:03]help it so now the person says what can i do imam

[9:09]saw the kali salaam he says he says to him he said

[9:14]stop and tell yourself no he says this he says this is

[9:24]the will and the strength of a person who can what stand

[9:29]to his own soul and say no don't do that wherever you're

[9:33]going please don't lead me there don't take me on that path

[9:37]don't allow my feet to walk in that path don't allow my

[9:41]hands to open the wrong things don't allow me to do that

[9:45]don't allow my heart to get so close where it attaches to

[9:50]the things i don't want the heart once you get it close

[10:06]enough it grabs and now there's a person that you start dating

[10:10]per se or you start talking to on the internet or you

[10:16]start moving towards guy girl doesn't matter some science classes now they're

[10:25]say they say there's 72 genders i don't know you pick but

[10:32]on that level now my heart is moving closer and i grab

[10:38]the path and i'm moving and my feet are taking me towards

[10:42]my desire step by step by step what am i doing i'm

[10:49]emotionally conditioning myself that's what i'm doing every step that i take

[10:53]one step closer to that desire i'm conditioning myself so development is

[11:00]i'm building characteristics within me i'm conditioning me i have to get

[11:04]to know who me what do i do when this happens when

[11:09]i cannot control my path my desires have taken over i cannot

[11:18]move off the path i can't even tell myself no i can't

[11:28]so the epitome of self-development is emotional conditioning emotional conditioning is the

[11:39]conditioning of your own heart when my heart begins to take over

[11:46]and it touches certain things lusts pleasures pain anguish disgust distrust all

[11:58]these aspects my heart is being formulated my dad my mom come

[12:08]up to me my brother says something to me i can't stand

[12:13]it i can't think about it unmanned to be good too to

[12:37]his parents i'm sorry i'm being truthful with you it's very difficult

[12:43]these days parents children disconnect brother sister disconnect uncle to niece nephew

[12:56]disconnect we're all disconnected why why why is there when i look

[13:00]at my father where i look at my mother there's something wrong

[13:04]i don't feel right i don't want them around me even why

[13:08]why is that happening do we look back look back at the

[13:13]past year what did you do with that allah is telling you

[13:19]i've enjoined that on you he says whatever your parents are good

[13:25]or bad respect them do you take that as a law relationships

[13:34]big deal i'm not going to get into that that's just a

[13:39]side note forgive me for the transgression now on that level you

[13:45]look at your heart so we said self-development is emotional conditioning it's

[13:52]not what just mental rationalization it's emotional conditioning why imam ali alayhi

[13:58]salaam says do you see your lord imam ali says he says

[14:15]would i worship something that i cannot see he says how do

[14:22]you see him he says but surely the heart sees him through

[14:49]true authentic belief this is what connects to allah this is the

[14:56]relationship just like your thoughts are totally dependent on you your soul

[15:01]is totally dependent on who allah azzawajal can your thought create its

[15:09]own power and just do its own thing is it something separate

[15:13]than you no it's not the heart is conditioned it's in the

[15:19]right state that's development now watch this let me give you a

[15:26]few examples self-development is emotional conditioning i'm shaping the heart how do

[15:39]i build courage in the heart to say the truth there's one

[15:49]person that imam ali salaam he says will never taste faith never

[15:53]you will never taste faith who is this person who what do

[15:59]they have in their heart i will tell you at the end

[16:03]who's this person that they cannot even touch it no matter what

[16:08]you do how you do it you will not gain it what

[16:11]is faith faith is getting closer to allah i believe that i'm

[16:16]going to be okay it's like the person who what goes to

[16:20]the end of the movie watches the last ten minutes and he

[16:27]sees or she sees that the hero's okay then go back and

[16:33]watch the movie what happens it doesn't matter what the person goes

[16:36]through you know at the end you're gonna be okay they're gonna

[16:44]be okay when you have that in your heart you will be

[16:50]okay you're starting to meet who you you're starting to understand you

[16:55]you're starting to know your own programming how is your heart programmed

[16:59]what does it need in terms of emotion and who is that

[17:02]person that will never taste that imam says taste taste subhanallah that's

[17:09]salaam the way he talks it's medicine for your heart what does

[17:18]he the person who has that in his heart what happens that

[17:31]security is impeccable now watch how do you build courage i'm going

[17:37]to give two examples one on this side one on this side

[17:40]self development is emotional conditioning how do we condition ourselves one from

[17:45]this side one from this side let's take two examples quran and

[17:54]music muhammad before i before i enter this part there's a brother

[18:13]was in really need tonight for your prayers he's got hit by

[18:21]the virus and he's in the hospital he's having a hard time

[18:34]so tonight find you search in your heart touch that spot that

[18:39]i talked about and pray for that brother reach that part of

[18:46]you that when you touch it a tear drops down your cheek

[18:51]it's in all of us that softness is so beautiful when you

[18:57]can touch that spot there's nothing more beautiful than that relationship with

[19:03]you so now self-development is emotional conditioning let's go to music some

[19:17]of us we listen to music when we go to the gym

[19:23]we need to feel what motivation but on headphones sorry airpods that's

[19:43]old school you guys don't know that stuff so now when that

[19:53]happens i turn on my favorite song and now i'm beginning to

[20:01]feel that energy i feel my heart is moving to the beat

[20:08]it's dancing with it it's harmonious i'm moving and now i get

[20:19]on the bench i look at the weights i got 225 on

[20:23]the bar you know what i'm so pumped i'm gonna put 275.

[20:32]now i'm lifting but the lift i wait to the maximum part

[20:37]where i get totally energized it's your heart it's starting to dance

[20:45]it's being conditioned you think you're okay you start fantasizing i'm gonna

[20:53]lift i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that i go into

[21:02]this state now there's another part to all this two weeks later

[21:23]someone steps up it does something to one of your friends now

[21:36]your heart is being checked it's like can you regenerate that emotion

[21:48]two weeks ago when you were listening to that music can you

[21:55]regenerate that and bring it to yourself when you need it can

[21:58]you do that or do you tell the person hold on one

[22:01]second don't do anything yet let me put in my earpods okay

[22:05]hold on i need to get that emotion back okay now you

[22:13]can attack i feel okay now now i'm gonna be able to

[22:18]defend that person i'm sorry music doesn't bring that it won't now

[22:39]you're in the gym and you're listening to the quran some guys

[22:48]do that some girls do that and you're listening and a verse

[22:55]comes up and you connect and allah says in the quran he

[23:00]says one of the verses says you will not be asked for

[23:03]or you not be like looked at if you do something called

[23:12]he says you will we will only look at things it says

[23:18]meaning why that you're insistent and what doing that and you're listening

[23:25]you're like oh my god wow what is khata and what is

[23:31]what is me actually doing just a simple thing that it just

[23:35]i made a mistake just a mistake then you're thinking like wow

[23:40]but what is the other thing that i'm actually doing it with

[23:46]my own will i see the wrong but i still move towards

[23:50]it and then your mind begins to spin what is that how

[23:57]does that work your heart is being conditioned it's moving towards something

[24:06]it's a cause that's greater than you you're unraveling things and when

[24:17]it touches your heart guess what it gives you faith courage it's

[24:29]constructing your character let's go further it says if we bring down

[24:44]this quran on a mountain you will see it split asunder it

[24:48]will really go through unbelievable aspects who held the quran when it

[24:56]came down whose heart held it if you bring it down on

[25:02]a mountain what happens to it will be destroyed the prophet's heart

[25:07]held the quran it's conditioned it was conditioned into his heart his

[25:13]emotions are there intact now let me give you an example of

[25:21]how that works when that happens and when someone begins to attack

[25:28]your friend something happens in your heart and it ignites and your

[25:34]cause that principles those principles that you will have come to the

[25:39]surface with emotion and you just react that's conditioning you can generate

[25:48]the emotion when you want it doesn't matter any state any condition

[25:57]any place the other side can't do that it actually gives you

[26:00]a false sense of security it's actually pushing you away from the

[26:03]road you think you have it but you don't because you cannot

[26:11]regenerate those emotions when you need them imam hussain al-islam stands in

[26:17]the battle of karbala look what's in front of him look study

[26:23]read watch courage how it comes forth watch the character the personality

[26:30]does not shake it's too strong the heart does not move it's

[26:34]conditioned what for the love of allah now watch this right now

[26:50]i tell you to make a million dollars you can make a

[26:58]million dollars let's do a little test if i tell you to

[27:06]make a million dollars what happens to you it feels emotionally distant

[27:14]check your heart right now do an assessment from one to ten

[27:22]how much do you have in conviction and when i tell you

[27:28]make a million dollars it feels emotionally distant i can't do it

[27:33]i want to get married next year i can't do it i

[27:36]want to tell myself no i shouldn't do that i have an

[27:41]exam i should be studying for i can't get myself to move

[27:44]it feels emotionally distant the heart is conditioned now i ask you

[28:02]this and allah says this he says if my supplicator if the

[28:14]person who asks you about me o muhammad tell them what i

[28:19]am near i am close i ask you this question if allah

[28:25]is close to your heart why should anything be emotionally distant why

[28:36]if allah is close nothing is distant in him i'm closer to

[28:45]you than your own juggler vein on that level why should you

[28:53]feel emotionally distant why why should anything when allah has got control

[28:57]over everything imam ali salaam he says seek certainty he says seek

[29:06]certainty i'm sorry not certainty it's coming it's coming alhamdulillah muhammad you

[29:27]guys want to play a little game before i continue i forgot

[29:34]the verse it wasn't the verse i feel like an idiot up

[29:46]here can you guys help me look my hands are shaking i'm

[29:59]faking my hands okay can anybody help me look we got people

[30:06]watching us from the outside too so i'm gonna look like an

[30:08]idiot if i don't remember it okay thank you guys that's the

[30:21]game watch this something happened in your heart when i said i

[30:27]needed help you felt with me you empathized subhanallah isn't that incredible

[30:42]the heart is conditioned conditioned we're conditioned like this it's okay you

[30:48]got it i can search it for you see how it works

[30:55]and that level we're all like that subhanallah when we begin to

[31:02]do that it's incredible we become alive now on that note watch

[31:07]as we move forward the quran is yours to have it's yours

[31:17]to implement in your heart when we get to this point we

[31:25]realize that there's nothing that should be distant there's nothing when allah

[31:30]is close there's nothing that is distant when we come to this

[31:39]point and then we realize i'm facing something difficult i have to

[31:44]make a decision and this year i'm gonna have many trials and

[31:51]heck it's the first day and it's already gone crazy i don't

[31:54]even know what to do with myself corona this corona that i'm

[32:01]getting depressed at home okay i'm staying up till four o'clock in

[32:05]the morning i can't get my cycles right in terms of sleep

[32:08]everything is happening the world has changed allah this year what should

[32:15]i do how do i condition my heart properly how do i

[32:19]feel empathetic with people how do i stay kind to my brothers

[32:23]my sisters my community my mother my father i'd want to not

[32:29]hurt them when i put a stake sometimes in my parents heart

[32:37]protect me outlaw and who's this person that will never taste faith

[32:47]no let's play a little game let's just guess really quickly can

[32:57]anyone guess give me just five six answers really quick who's this

[33:09]person that will never taste faith i'm sorry jealousy a jealous person

[33:15]excellent answer give me some more if you guys think i'm just

[33:19]going to give you the answer no let's let's play it's okay

[33:24]i'm gonna play with your heart a little bit so now i've

[33:26]created curiosity which actually injects you with a little dopamine in your

[33:30]brain and guess what happened that's a button i just pressed in

[33:32]your brain okay i need to pay attention where's it going it's

[33:35]like you know when they have the movie they never tell you

[33:42]that it's like they never reveal the person you don't think they

[33:43]they know how to do that you don't think they know how

[33:48]to trigger these emotions they know how you're programmed and by the

[33:53]way side note here's what they've done in terms of some studies

[33:56]i'll get back to the things that we were looking for but

[33:59]they actually took the same video clip same same scenery meaning same

[34:08]sentence cinematography meaning the same video the same actual footage and you

[34:15]know what they did they just changed the music in the background

[34:20]one of them they made it horror one of them they made

[34:25]it like a intimate scene and i swear to you your perspective

[34:32]changes on what you hear subhanallah how it dances with your heart

[34:39]again conditioning you're being conditioned now when i look inside what do

[34:47]i have to do now i've looked at myself i realized that

[34:52]i have to develop myself when i develop myself i have to

[34:56]emotionally condition myself and when i commercially emotionally condition myself i have

[35:01]to inject the right emotions into my own heart i'm meeting me

[35:05]for the first time how are you i'm good how are you

[35:20]my name is wissam what's your name oh me too wissam nice

[35:28]to meet you so now i begin to search and ask wissam

[35:39]certain things with some what do you think of religion wassam what

[35:45]do you think of music what do you think of our community

[35:52]what do you think of the quran why are you going to

[36:00]speak friday night wissam why do you do these things and i

[36:09]become really intrigued then one day i asked quesam i asked him

[36:17]a question and you know what wissam does he lies to me

[36:24]i'm like wait a minute i know you what are you doing

[36:34]what that doesn't make sense me of all people me always sounds

[36:45]like i don't care so what who are you you don't matter

[36:58]then we sounds like he's shocked and we some says to him

[37:04]he says you know with a person who will never taste faith

[37:07]you know who he is and now it sounds like he's intrigued

[37:13]he's a little scared what do you mean i'll never taste faith

[37:16]i know i'm faithful what are you talking about i'm faithful i

[37:22]pray i fast i do all these things so what i have

[37:26]a little thing here and there he's like that's what i'm talking

[37:31]about father day you lied to me that's the person who will

[37:37]never taste faith and we say i'm shocked and he steps back

[37:46]and he's like really he's like sometimes i lie then although it

[37:58]sounds like you know lying is one of the kebabs the bigger

[38:05]sins and we sometimes even more scared he's like what are you

[38:09]talking about because i didn't know that he's like yeah and he

[38:13]goes to the bigger sins you're going to touch hellfire and it

[38:21]sounds like what that south's part is beginning to spin and now

[38:28]he's scared can you have a conversation like that with yourself can

[38:38]you that person that lies to you is your own worst enemy

[38:51]and that can be you imam he says the highest form of

[39:04]faith is trustworthiness trust worthiness and the biggest effect that will be

[39:13]on your heart in terms of sin is what betrayal subhanallah when

[39:23]this speaks and it sends falsehood and injects the other person's mind

[39:33]and it hits their heart and it's a lie and now the

[39:41]person believes you and they build on that now you're emotionally conditioning

[39:50]them you've impregnated their heart with a false seed and they trusted

[39:55]you imam ali goes so far and he says this he says

[40:03]even this was don't distrust a person who distrusted you because don't

[40:07]even do it to them if they do it to you don't

[40:09]do it to them subhanallah that's the person who's got control of

[40:15]their heart what happens when you lie in here this begins to

[40:22]lie please take this with you please when you condition your heart

[40:29]to do that this is what happens when you don't have time

[40:35]to think and you're put in a pressure situation watch what will

[40:41]happen to you if this is conditioned to lie watch what will

[40:46]happen when you don't have time to think someone will come and

[40:51]surprise you they'll tell you why how did this happen you know

[40:57]what your mind will do your conscience is trained to lie your

[41:01]heart will hand you a lie that quick and you'll be like

[41:06]what yeah i did one two three and you get out of

[41:13]it and you think you're safe you don't know what you just

[41:21]did to yourself that's becoming you so this year meet you for

[41:37]the first time and cry over you and when you have that

[41:40]conversation in your heart when imam sajad says he says separated on

[41:58]that day what are you gonna do and he says the time

[42:07]is now you're going to come back this is what will happen

[42:14]to you he says he says god please send me back send

[42:31]me back so i can do the right things and become amongst

[42:37]the righteous i ask you this question why why would you ask

[42:45]for more time why don't you ask to be saved why don't

[42:49]you ask for a house then why don't you ask for a

[42:55]relationship why don't you ask for anything why why won't you do

[42:58]that at that time why do you ask for time why because

[43:03]your eye has seen the truth you've seen it it's right in

[43:11]front of you now everything has been removed the veils from your

[43:15]eyes have been removed this year ask allah please before i meet

[43:21]you surely to your lord you're gonna you're gonna meet you're gonna

[43:27]have that meeting before i meet you on that day ya allah

[43:31]and i begin to ask you for time allah save my heart

[43:37]condition it please you do it please don't leave me for myself

[43:51]this year help me when i'm about to make a mistake when

[43:55]i'm planning to do something against someone when i'm planning to do

[43:59]something against myself when i'm planning to do something with someone when

[44:02]i'm planning to do anything that is against you and it's against

[44:10]me please help me stop it please on that day you will

[44:18]begin to understand when it's too late there's no coming back because

[44:25]allah answers this person and you know what he says allah will

[44:36]not give you an iota of time when your time comes it's

[44:49]sealed final thought how far can you go in terms of this

[44:59]world when allah says in the quran what can happen to your

[45:08]heart when you become a perfidious rejecter when you become a habitual

[45:14]liar there's a seal on your heart your ears and your sight

[45:32]you will not see the truth because imam ali says he says

[45:37]the worst thing about a liar is even when he tells the

[45:46]truth people will think he's lying conditioning of the heart so now

[45:54]you're in this place this level i'm just going to see out

[46:00]here i was going to go further i think i'm going to

[46:04]stop here tonight ask yourself tomorrow's going to come today is gone

[46:15]what did i do today did i tell a lie did i

[46:21]condition my heart or did i get to this point where imam

[46:28]ali is he says allah has made his dhikr his remembrance in

[46:48]your heart it turns on everything when you have allah in your

[46:55]heart and you're about to lie what happens what would happen when

[46:59]allah in your heart can your tongue follow no your heart is

[47:03]sealed in that fact your tongue will tell you no on its

[47:08]own you will not be able to do it because you're conditioned

[47:12]properly because you have enlightenment in your heart not falsehood you have

[47:16]truth in your heart not falsehood imam ali salaam he says when

[47:20]this person when any person fights truth they will get knocked down

[47:24]by it so now he says when thicker is in your heart

[47:29]and your hearts enlightened you don't have the marath you don't have

[47:34]that sickness that's in the heart it's a spiritual sickness it's a

[47:38]spiritual disease what alleviates it truth setting yourself up for what when

[47:48]that happens one person they're deaf dumb and blind then he says

[47:53]imam ali if there's zikr in the heart they will see past

[47:58]their deafness i'm sorry here pastor deafness see past their blindness and

[48:07]their heart is conditioned it will obey it will submit subhanallah subhanallah

[48:14]look at he is the alignment of the heart one person has

[48:25]a spiritual disease one has spiritual strength power might nothing can check

[48:33]it finally he says when you get to the stage and the

[48:37]heart is conditioned then allah the final stage will be in between

[48:43]your thoughts there's no way you can lie allah's absolute truth he

[48:50]is truth there's no falsehood that's emotional cleansing you've detoxed yourself from

[49:02]lying so the next time you're gonna tell a lie think of

[49:10]a little wissam that's gonna pop up in your head and he's

[49:17]going to be like hey bro what are you doing i see

[49:21]that forget me think of a little you mini me and he

[49:33]says to you what are you doing he said remember this is

[49:44]he's talking to you and he says to you he says if

[49:50]characteristics were to be coupled honesty would be coupled with courage and

[49:59]dishonesty will be coupled with cowardice are you a courageous person or

[50:09]are you a coward ask yourself muhammad i'm grateful to be part

[50:31]of this community i love this community whenever we get together what

[50:39]do we do we start talking about our community our community has

[50:44]problems what's going on in the world it's all you got i'm

[50:49]sorry go try to go somewhere else try people leave they do

[50:55]everybody wants to leave first you want to leave your what the

[51:01]house so you go into your room that becomes your own personal

[51:07]escape then you want to leave your room maybe go to a

[51:12]dorm right what are you trying to gain autonomy then from there

[51:18]you get married some of us we want to escape that too

[51:22]right you know why you're always leaving because you've never truly met

[51:37]yourself sometimes it's not everyone else sometimes it's us so i love

[51:48]this community why because it's given me what i have it's given

[51:52]me you i love all you guys i love every person i

[51:58]swear to you doesn't matter who they are i don't care if

[52:04]you've hurt me to the end level i'll still pray for you

[52:07]and i'll still love you it's upon allah i love that i

[52:16]love when people are like that i respect myself enough to do

[52:22]that so let's take care of our community let's take care of

[52:31]each other let's be there for each other we've all we got

[52:37]and if you don't go go see the world and if you

[52:45]don't want to listen and you feel like you're being slapped by

[52:49]these words no problem go around the corner life's going to slap

[52:58]you trust me it's a lot harder just how it works so

[53:04]that's my like final message to you guys let's take care of

[53:12]each other be kind to each other you see someone's wrongdoing on

[53:15]the outside think of them as good on the inside it's okay

[53:22]and when they're doing something wrong then that should be a mirror

[53:27]to your own wrong it's okay cover their sins allah is cover

[53:37]them subhanallah if we do that watch what will happen to the

[53:43]community we're all responsible for each other all of us on that

[53:50]note i thank you brothers and sisters and if there's any questions

[53:54]comments concerns please feel free to ask anything no courage go ahead

[54:20]trust me i'm thank you for that comment i really appreciate that

[54:30]it means a lot to me go ahead beautiful so the question

[54:48]is and i want to say thank you to my brother who

[54:52]pointed this out to me he says every time we hear you

[54:56]speak there's questions that are asked but we don't know what the

[54:59]question is so the question was the first comment was they were

[55:04]thanking me and i said alhamdulillah thank you i'm just like you

[55:08]guys so i appreciate it and by thinking me they're thanking allah

[55:12]so i appreciate that the second the question was how do you

[55:16]deal with anger or someone who has anger so the number one

[55:23]principle you gotta understand is anger does not exist without blame the

[55:33]lens of blame is fortified by anger when i blame think of

[55:43]this concept and anytime you get angry ask yourself what am i

[55:47]blaming what is that person blaming people will take that so far

[55:52]that they'll even blame allah ya allah why did you take this

[55:56]person away from me i lost my child i lost my son

[56:00]i lost my business i lost my health why did you do

[56:05]this to me what are we really saying you're to blame number

[56:15]two it's not fair something's not fair it's unjust because the second

[56:26]i blame something i'm saying it's unfair even allah you're unfair how

[56:34]do you take that away from me ask yourself do you question

[56:40]allah how could you do this to me why would this happen

[56:46]in your heart there's something that's saying this is injust it's unfair

[56:54]so now i get to a point where let's say i begin

[56:59]to believe in allah let's just say that second level is i'll

[57:05]blame myself i get mad at myself allah is not to blame

[57:10]so i have to blame someone i get mad at myself or

[57:15]i blame people any one of those then one day i'm sorry

[57:27]i blame allah then i blame people then i one day something

[57:36]happens where something goes wrong and i'm 100 sure that i'm fully

[57:42]to blame and you're like oh my god i have to watch

[57:48]myself there's something wrong with me the world's no longer what to

[57:55]blame not the world let's say something happens i'll give you an

[57:58]example somebody was watching someone over a video camera and the person

[58:02]a young lady comes and the person hugs her the person takes

[58:10]him inside the room he says you're you're a hajj you're this

[58:13]you're that you're this and they're going off on him and then

[58:21]the person says to him he says it's okay he's like calm

[58:26]down he says that's my daughter how would you feel at that

[58:36]moment all the anger now i begin to now realize that there's

[58:43]something wrong with me i'm injust i'm the one who's not fair

[58:55]let's take it further when anger is in the heart something's unfair

[59:03]and it's hurt me i'm never looking at who me that will

[59:09]never happen that's the third point when i blame something is unfair

[59:15]i don't look back at me and guess what the world is

[59:22]to blame god's to blame everything outside me is to blame then

[59:25]something happened it points the finger back at me and now i

[59:30]begin to reflect and watch this let's take a cup of coffee

[59:38]am i fair is the world is life unfair or am i

[59:45]unfair to life how many times have you heard the the words

[59:52]life is unfair raise your hands i know all of you have

[59:56]said it's okay you don't want to participate it's all right life

[60:02]is so unfair my god all right how many of you had

[60:08]a cup of coffee this morning okay how many of you had

[60:13]water this morning okay how many of you there's a soft drink

[60:18]how many you ate this morning okay today last week let's just

[60:24]take a cup of coffee watch this now for a cup of

[60:28]coffee to happen and you're so fair to life right watch your

[60:32]three and a half dollars to five dollars versus a cup of

[60:37]coffee let's really see who's unfair for a cup of coffee for

[60:42]it to happen someone had to work low wages so low in

[60:46]fact that they're hardly surviving and they have to collect the grains

[60:51]of the coffee put them in cases that somebody had to create

[60:56]put them on a vehicle or a truck that someone else had

[61:01]to create then the vehicle actually needs what gasoline someone else had

[61:08]to create that too now they drive it they take it to

[61:14]this factory and the grains are grinded up by also low-wage people

[61:22]they're living a lot worse than you and guess what it's not

[61:31]done yet now they put it on a plane i wish you

[61:36]would have tried to invent that one on your own and a

[61:40]pilot sits in hours for hours in that seat just to get

[61:47]you the coffee and now you're sitting in a place it's warm

[61:54]god forbid if the air conditioning is not working and they screw

[62:04]up on your coffee what are you doing you put two sugars

[62:17]in here i told you one life is so unfair i screwed

[62:27]up my coffee for the whole day you're pissed off you're mad

[62:31]your heart watch it where's it going take all those processes in

[62:40]terms of anger anger just hit your heart i blame the world

[62:47]don't look at me i'm not to blame and guess what i

[62:55]get upset how do i trade like that four dollars for a

[63:06]cup of coffee that took forever just to get to you and

[63:09]it's so unfair all those processes that had to happen just to

[63:17]get you just to get you a cup of coffee and you

[63:20]think life is unfair no we're so unfair to life why because

[63:25]we're not grateful think of the lights right now think of the

[63:32]seats you're sitting on think of this hall think of this mic

[63:38]think of the person that's next to you where do you see

[63:44]unfairness point it to me show me show me no what do

[63:52]i do when i realize there's so much in abundance to be

[63:59]so thankful for gratitude hits my heart and i say to that

[64:05]person it's okay the cup of coffee it's okay if you can

[64:11]redo it please i understand things happen where's anger it's the conditioning

[64:19]of the heart anger is like having a sunburn what happens when

[64:27]you touch someone that has a sunburn instant pain because the heart

[64:34]is conditioned so what does a person have to do sorry i

[64:37]took you on a long journey but it's so important that you

[64:41]understand these concepts now what does a person have to do to

[64:45]remove that think of a letter b for blame capital letter that

[64:52]looks as a lens to the outside flip the lens to the

[64:58]inside and remove the bottom of the b the capital b for

[65:04]the letter r for responsibility take responsibility for everything that happens to

[65:11]you anger and blame will take you to the past history negative

[65:22]taking responsibility will put you forward you'll become a problem solver it's

[65:30]okay i become positive i look for a solution simple flip of

[65:36]the lens that's what happens so the person has to take responsibility

[65:41]the second you own it you can solve it the second you

[65:45]blame you don't have a problem so the person has to look

[65:50]at themselves now to get someone to do that that's a whole

[65:53]other subject and if that's what you're asking me that's more what

[65:55]application too versatile i just gave you a bunch of really general

[66:01]concepts that you can apply and you can utilize to help someone

[66:06]see that but they have to be willing to change on that

[66:10]level i hope that answers your question anything else even comments it's

[66:18]okay dead silence assalamu

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