Gender Roles in Islam | Sayed Mohammad Baqer Qazwini | MYC

32 المشاهدات· 24/03/22

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[0:27]i welcome you to our discussion tonight and i also congratulate you

[0:32]all on the arrival of the month of the which is the

[0:40]12th month in the islamic lunar calendar every year during these days

[0:44]we hear about the millions of hajjaj and pilgrims who go to

[0:50]the hajj but unfortunately there is no hajj season this year due

[0:55]to the situation and this is a trial that humanity is going

[1:02]through but we have many beautiful events in this month of the

[1:07]hijab two days ago we celebrated the anniversary of the marriage of

[1:12]imam ali alayhi salaam to lady fatima next week we have the

[1:18]day of arafah the day of adel abha on the 18th of

[1:22]the year we will celebrate adelgadir so it's a wonderful and beautiful

[1:30]month there are many good amal that you should not miss one

[1:33]of them is between maghrib and there's a prayer that's prayed the

[1:38]first ten nights of the hajjan and the one who makes this

[1:45]prayer it's just two raka's after surat al-fatiha and surat you recite

[1:55]this verse that starts with musa the one who offers the salah

[2:01]this prayer shall receive the edger of those who go to hajj

[2:07]of those who are at the hajj one of my friends commented

[2:11]this year he's like say there's no one at the hajj this

[2:14]year so are we going to get any reward for this prayer

[2:16]remember billions of angels they go and they circulate around the hajj

[2:20]we have these that tell us the imam of our time he

[2:24]makes it to every hajj season and that's sufficient for us if

[2:31]allah gives us the reward that he gives to his hajja on

[2:33]earth that's sufficient for us so i congratulate you on the arrival

[2:38]of this beautiful month may allah protect you and your families in

[2:44]this month our discussion tonight my dear brothers and sisters is gender

[2:49]roles in islam we received a few suggestions on our social media

[2:58]websites for instance on instagram and i always encourage you there are

[3:01]topics we'd love to discuss you'd like to hear about you can

[3:05]always reach us through our social media websites and give us your

[3:11]suggestions give us your recommendations and so some of the questions that

[3:17]we received some of the suggestions when it comes to gender roles

[3:21]are the following and i'd like to have a discussion with you

[3:25]tonight around these points so first of all what is the islamic

[3:30]perspective on genders how many genders do we have how many genders

[3:36]does islam recognize this is a very important discussion these days number

[3:42]two does islam recommend the division of gender roles or no we

[3:51]should figure that out and we leave it up to society to

[3:55]figure out everything or does islam actually recommend to us to divide

[4:00]the roles when it comes to genders number three one of the

[4:05]suggestions that we received is to talk about the double standards that

[4:10]we have in many of our communities when it comes to the

[4:15]boys and the girls how some families are tolerant if their boys

[4:20]do certain things but maybe not from the girls how do we

[4:26]address visible standards and finally one of the recommendations that we got

[4:30]is also to discuss meeting one another on social media so let's

[4:38]say you're looking for a potential spouse is social media the appropriate

[4:41]place so inshallah tonight we will have a discussion it will not

[4:46]be an official lecture but i would like you to participate and

[4:50]let's make this as interactive as possible inshallah and we'll begin with

[4:55]a very loud salah let's address the first fundamental point what does

[5:05]the holy quran say about genders how many genders do we have

[5:11]today when you're at the college campus what are you being told

[5:16]let's hear a response from the sisters when it comes to gender

[5:20]very briefly what are they saying out there today they want us

[5:26]to believe that yes infinite right there is no limit on the

[5:29]number of genders guys what have you been hearing about genders 47

[5:35]it's going up right so it's officially at 47 now it's on

[5:42]a spectrum it's you don't have that clearly defined binary male or

[5:51]female no we have more of a spectrum and you can fall

[5:54]anywhere on that spectrum it's so big it has 47 points right

[5:58]on the spectrum what else have you been hearing about genders so

[6:05]each yes is born with a sex and that's related to the

[6:09]biological aspect but there's your thunder and that's how you identify and

[6:14]they're they're separate well they can be related and so your freedom

[6:19]choose what gender you want to ascribe [Music] very well said so

[6:28]today we're being told that this binary of male and female is

[6:32]a traditional conception today we recognize that we have what's called gender

[6:37]and we have what's called sex the sex refers to your biological

[6:45]makeup how you were born yes that's male or female however when

[6:49]it comes to the gender it's how society constructs it the expectation

[6:55]of society when it comes to your biology that's what we call

[6:59]gender and so they're saying historically it was basically two but we

[7:04]don't have to limit it to that why are we limiting it

[7:08]to two let people choose their gender identity give them that flexibility

[7:13]give them that freedom and i'll be very honest with you today

[7:17]there is a lot of pressure on religious communities to embrace this

[7:22]idea to approve of it to support condolence so let's start with

[7:29]the holy quran what does allah subhanahu ta'ala comment about the genders

[7:33]or sexes in the holy quran we have two verses that clearly

[7:36]tell us how many genders there are any idea if you don't

[7:43]know the exact arabic you can roughly code it yes yes that's

[7:50]the verse so we have two verses one is verse 45 the

[8:10]two genders the two sexes the male and the female in sura

[8:18]states talks about the process of creation and then he says therefore

[8:32]he made from that process of creation he made it into male

[8:38]and female so we find that the religion of islam does recommend

[8:43]this binary that biologically allah subhanahu ta'ala has created two forms they

[8:49]may be ambiguous forms right some people may be born in an

[8:55]ambiguous state and islam does have a recommendation i have to address

[9:00]that ambiguity but the holy quran is very clear that we have

[9:03]adequate the male and the female and therefore the religion of islam

[9:09]comes here and tells us that if you want to have a

[9:11]successful life with less confusion with less of an identity crisis you

[9:22]have this binary this binary is the most efficient way of life

[9:28]that we have i'd like to discuss this point with you so

[9:31]today they're saying no it's a spectrum don't limit genders to two

[9:38]some say 20 30 47 or some say it's infinite don't limit

[9:42]it what is one serious consequence of not limiting gender to two

[9:48]let's look at the pros and cons what are some consequences that

[9:53]you're familiar with or you can think of when it comes to

[9:57]allowing people in society to choose their gender to construct their gender

[10:04]yes sister yes no reproduction okay so one of the consequences let's

[10:14]say people will marry someone from the same gender that would you

[10:18]know limit the reproduction and allah created us here on earth for

[10:24]a purpose and part of that is to raise an offspring so

[10:28]that would be impacted what else think of the psychological consequences of

[10:35]allowing people in society or encouraging them to come up with any

[10:40]gender that they like what are some of these psychological consequences yes

[10:57]it causes people to be extremely insecure that's a very good point

[11:05]why does it cause insecurity you're denying that which is reality what

[11:13]else see choosing an identity when it comes to the genders creates

[11:20]a lot of stress and confusion one of the reasons why there

[11:29]is so much you know depression anxiety today amongst our younger generation

[11:36]and today the biggest killer amongst our younger generation is what depression

[11:41]and suicide it's on the rise now there are many factors that

[11:46]but one of the factors is that the young gender in the

[11:50]real world you go to college you go to school you have

[11:52]to start choosing your gender okay now let's say somebody is trying

[11:57]to choose where do i start from how do i even think

[12:01]of myself that creates a lot of confusion sometimes when something is

[12:10]simple it's a binary it actually psychologically helps you you can function

[12:16]better you can function properly gender identity is not an area that

[12:22]islam recommends you to choose to go and explore and figure out

[12:27]for yourself because you may be experimenting you think it's not think

[12:31]it's cool maybe you think it works for you but are you

[12:34]aware of the consequences the psychological consequences the emotional consequences it creates

[12:40]so much confusion it leads to an identity crisis and our generation

[12:47]today is actually experiencing this identity crisis that's one of the consequences

[12:52]and that's why there's a lot of insecurity there is a lot

[12:59]of insecurity that is one of the consequences what else any other

[13:04]ideas experiences you've seen on college campus other areas what are some

[13:10]negative consequences you've seen when the young generation is just choosing whatever

[13:14]gender identity they want remember in this discussion my dear brothers and

[13:20]sisters we're not judging anyone we're not putting anyone down we're just

[13:24]having a discussion on the pros and the cons on the consequences

[13:30]yes sister uh alia can you give her the microphone so we

[13:44]can all hear can you guys just raise your hand for a

[13:46]second um if basically if you start excusing uh different genders and

[13:52]saying this is the type of thing that are just either attracted

[13:55]to you should accept them for who they are you could easily

[13:57]start accepting ideas like pedophilia and assessing this is who they're attracted

[14:01]we should accept them there was a big argument about including pedophilia

[14:05]and lgbtq plus model because this is who they're attracted to their

[14:11]kind of person so you start giving leeway to these actions that's

[14:16]a very good observation another consequence here is that where do you

[14:22]draw the line i'm sure you're familiar with this argument right when

[14:26]you let society come up with these moral values with all these

[14:31]identities where do you draw the line what's acceptable and what's not

[14:36]acceptable if society is determining that for me how do i trust

[14:43]society when society is ever changing can i intellectually allow my society

[14:47]to define for me moral values society is ever changing 50 years

[14:55]ago here in america homosexuality was considered a disease officially today many

[15:01]people condone it many national organizations the psychological organization no says it's

[15:09]completely normal it condones it well what's going to happen in the

[15:13]next 50 years during the time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi some

[15:16]arab tribes they put alive now when you tell them why no

[15:22]this is moral if the holy quran even describes how a husband

[15:26]would react when he's informed that he his wife just delivered a

[15:30]baby girl girl he feels shamed he goes into hiding and the

[15:36]quran condemned them for that how do you trust your society to

[15:41]define these moral values what's acceptable and what's not what if in

[15:44]the next 20 20 years 30 years 40 years many other types

[15:49]of lifestyles that we know are morally wrong and and lead to

[15:54]many negative consequences and to types of corruption people can come out

[15:58]and say no that's okay that's my identity give me that freedom

[16:04]there must be some structure in place because if there is no

[16:11]structure that leads to confusion and chaos and anything can be justified

[16:16]there's nothing that cannot be justified anything will be justified so that's

[16:19]another consequence another thoughts uh the sister in the back one of

[16:26]the brothers you also had something to say we'll hear from you

[16:35]about this um [Music] he's a parent um he put his child

[16:43]in a school in sweden they live in sweden that like doesn't

[16:46]have genders and he's like so scarred from the people that like

[16:50]reflects in his parenting and so the result was like he was

[16:53]pressuring his child so much not to conform to any gender that

[16:56]he wanted to have like a member of the community like he

[17:00]didn't want like someone who's confident in their gender like so the

[17:03]child they went and interviewed them in a video and then they

[17:08]asked them like and they noticed that like it was i don't

[17:11]even know the gender because it has like long hair and it

[17:13]wears like both male and female clothes so i don't know what

[17:18]it was and it just um he or she just seems very

[17:22]uncomfortable instead of liberated like they weren't like wow on everything they're

[17:26]like actually like their face becomes red and they don't like the

[17:31]topic so like i [Music] for them to be very uncomfortable you

[17:35]ask them if you're a boy or girl that's not like wow

[17:39]they're they're in a school where they have pink and blue lockers

[17:43]and nobody says he or she like to you you don't have

[17:45]a label you don't have a rooted sense of who you are

[17:47]so i think that parent just comes this far they're hurting their

[17:51]child because they have bad memories of the past and and they

[17:54]just want like an lgbtq child i feel like these ideas are

[17:59]so extreme now that's that's another consequence it does create confusion in

[18:06]security and and that's one perspective that we have as muslims when

[18:10]it comes to this topic the brother here has something to share

[18:14]with us yes earlier you said our game doesn't recommend that we

[18:27]make a choice on our agenda is it just a recommendation is

[18:31]it not appropriate okay that's a very good question so that's no

[18:37]notice how i worded it right that islam does not recommend now

[18:43]when it comes to practicing certain aspects of your orientation of course

[18:51]islam has clearly defined mind [Music] now if someone has this idea

[18:57]that i have a different gender let's say or i have i

[19:01]feel that i have these urges or this particular orientation as long

[19:06]as they don't practice on that it's not how i'm in and

[19:11]of itself so let's say someone is attracted to the same gender

[19:15]right but they're not practicing homosexuality as long as they're not practicing

[19:21]it they're not making an islamic violation when it comes to practicing

[19:25]it yes islam considers that sinful and that lifestyle is sinful so

[19:29]the action is sinful but not the identity itself because you raise

[19:33]a good point there are some people and we'll talk about what

[19:37]you know we we're trying to be objective so we talked about

[19:40]the cons let's also talk about the pros of you know having

[19:43]limited genders there are some people who will tell you i feel

[19:48]like i was born this way it's not like i chose my

[19:52]gender right or my orientation i feel like i was born this

[19:56]way you know as as i was becoming a teenager i started

[20:00]to have attraction for the same gender not for the opposite gender

[20:05]it was not my choice and i feel stuck and you've probably

[20:10]heard this phrase that they tell you you know i feel like

[20:15]i'm a man trapped in the body of a woman or vice

[20:17]versa so it's not something that i chose but it's just something

[20:25]that i feel is in me what do we respond to that

[20:29]having these feelings or urges or tendencies in and of itself is

[20:36]not i think people have to understand that because some teenagers they

[20:39]go through this experience and then they start developing anger at god

[20:44]and they start saying okay i feel like i'm creating this way

[20:48]it's not like i chose it and just because i feel that

[20:51]way or i have these urges or this orientation that means god

[20:55]is condemning me no as long as you don't practice those feelings

[21:00]and you don't take it into action then it's not haram now

[21:05]these people my dear brothers and sisters it's important for them to

[21:10]also understand and i'm sure you probably have friends who may fall

[21:16]in this category or the other friends who fall in this category

[21:18]it's important to tell them that this is a trial except that

[21:25]it's a trial and allah will help you through the trial some

[21:30]people claim i was born that way okay let's not go into

[21:35]the argument whether you know this is genetic or not let's say

[21:38]you are born that way it's a trial it's not an easy

[21:43]trial it's very difficult but it's a trial how many of you

[21:47]have seen babies are born with a disability or you know someone

[21:52]or you know babies like that exist right now we know we

[21:56]have a merciful lord allah and allah created us how do you

[22:00]make sense of a baby born with a disability life-long disability what

[22:05]do you make sense of that does that mean god is unjust

[22:08]allah is not merciful it's a trial [Music] yes they're born that

[22:29]way what are the alternatives for them right that's it they're stuck

[22:35]in the situation they have to marry someone from the opposite gender

[22:39]there is no alternative for them the first step starts by realizing

[22:43]that this is a trial it's a trial some people are tried

[22:47]with their you know with a disability that's a trial it doesn't

[22:53]mean allah is not merciful here allah is very merciful but this

[22:58]is this person's trial and through this trial this person rises and

[23:03]rises and is elevated by god allah will compensate this person realize

[23:07]that this is a trial now after realizing that this is a

[23:13]trial comes the second step trying to cope with this trial see

[23:17]if you're disabled the first thing you do is you try to

[23:23]cope with it you try to live in a functional way with

[23:25]that disability how many people you know have learning disabilities there are

[23:31]blind people right even blind people have a way of reading things

[23:35]what is it called braille right see that's a way to cope

[23:39]with your disability okay eyesight is a gift but my trial this

[23:45]person's trial is that they were born blind or they became blind

[23:48]it's a trial but that does that mean i shut down and

[23:53]just isolate and say i'm doomed no allah has given me the

[23:59]ability to cope with that disability use the intellect that you have

[24:03]in a society collectively and figure out a way for them to

[24:10]learn the same concept applies here such a person has to cope

[24:14]with this trial see we have physical needs we have emotional needs

[24:17]we have psychological needs now this person obviously you know according to

[24:25]islamic standards cannot live with a member of the same gender but

[24:29]the person says i have love needs i have emotional needs there

[24:33]are alternatives you can invest emotionally in other people around you in

[24:42]order for you to have this emotional need addressed yes it's maybe

[24:48]not how you exactly want it to be but it will help

[24:52]you cope for instance your parents your siblings your friends emotionally invest

[24:58]in them more form a stronger bond with those around you it

[25:03]allows you to cope with that difficulty this is just an example

[25:11]so realizing that this is a test this is a trial let's

[25:15]try to cope with the trial we don't condemn these people we

[25:21]don't come and dehumanize them no we tell them this is a

[25:24]trial and we're here to help you with this trial there are

[25:26]some alternatives when it comes to emotional needs psychonauts psychological needs even

[25:31]physical intimacy now i can't go into details but there are ways

[25:39]to cope and allah does help let's not forget divine guidance from

[25:44]allah so yes to go back to your point brother it's not

[25:50]that just islam recommending when it comes to actions yes islam does

[25:53]have clearly you know defined lies about lines about what's halal and

[26:00]what's haram yes brother here yes and then we'll we'll get to

[26:06]brother yours um to go back earlier when you said the negatives

[26:12]of what this can bring to our society on the campus i

[26:16]go to detroit mercy and i met for what i thought was

[26:21]a girl which was originally a male who got many physical surgeries

[26:24]to appear as a woman but was battle battling with some disease

[26:30]that was caused by all these surgeries and she or this person

[26:35]was telling me how she lost her family or he lost his

[26:39]family and um an almost poverty povertish a public state and is

[26:48]like constantly thinking of suicide because he's never accepted regardless of what

[26:52]this person may look like from the lung or claim to belong

[26:56]to and i feel like it just being a part of this

[27:00]community opens first to many of the negatives of our society that

[27:05]we see almost on a daily basis especially when you want to

[27:10]physically appear as something that you originally weren't so the person was

[27:13]basically not in a good state after going through that journey and

[27:17]going through all those surgeries yes brother so you talked about how

[27:24]a person is born can be born with a disability let's say

[27:30]for example someone that doesn't identify with their gender or for example

[27:34]um as homosexuals how they how they might say that they're born

[27:40]i feel like something that might arise though as a person um

[27:44]like a person's homosexual might speak that it's very unfortunate that someone's

[27:50]born with a disability however it's not something that was forbidden by

[27:54]the religion after they were born with him however they might say

[28:00]that i was born in something that is forbidden by the so

[28:04]so there's there's that difference there so how would you how would

[28:08]we address in terms of also that this is still a task

[28:11]very good observation here the mother is asking okay we mentioned the

[28:16]example of someone born with a disability now someone can come and

[28:19]say well that's not a good comparison here because someone who is

[28:25]born with a disability you know what is it that they are

[28:27]doing that could violate religious principles they're just having that disability whereas

[28:33]the person who's born you know let's say with homosexual tendencies their

[28:40]actions will be condemned by religion and so you have that difference

[28:49]there briefly the way i would respond to that is to say

[28:52]that we human beings are born with various tendencies look at our

[28:58]personality personality traits a lot of it is acquired but a lot

[29:05]of it is inherited some people are born naturally being angry people

[29:12]right short fused have you seen people like that even sitting kids

[29:16]like kids who grew up in the same household same parents same

[29:22]method of upbringing one of them is super calm the other one

[29:26]like uh like this fire in front of you here see these

[29:31]are tendencies now islam comes and says when you grow older and

[29:36]you have a sense of awareness and you're responsible control your anger

[29:40]see islam is telling you what's right and what's wrong the person

[29:44]cannot well i have these angry tendencies so religions should say it's

[29:49]okay islam says that's your trial you were born with this tendency

[29:53]to be very angry to be aggressive and this is just one

[29:56]small example but your trial is to manage that anger so that

[30:03]would be my response that we are born sometimes with certain inclinations

[30:08]with dispositions but those dis dispositions are part of our trial so

[30:17]now my dear brothers and sisters having started this first point let's

[30:24]now transition to the next point in our discussion so islam says

[30:30]as zojan as the karwal male and female when we talk about

[30:37]gender roles in society what does islam recommend to us let's say

[30:43]you have a husband and a wife a father and a mother

[30:46]a brother and a sister we have these two genders is there

[30:52]a difference in their roles does islam have different expectations from them

[30:59]when it comes to their roles or no islam tells us just

[31:04]go and have one same role in society before we examine the

[31:10]islamic perspective let me first hear from you what is society saying

[31:13]today so let's say we have male female what is society telling

[31:19]you today when it comes to gender roles what is society advocating

[31:23]equality and what do they mean by equality there's no difference that's

[31:29]one thing we're hearing what else what else are you hearing when

[31:33]it comes to gender roles should men and women have different roles

[31:38]or they should have the same exact role what is society telling

[31:45]us today so even though we're biologically different but we could do

[32:00]you know everything if a woman can look a man cook both

[32:04]of them should cook if a woman can do a job that

[32:08]traditionally a man does then she should be able to do it

[32:12]and so there should be no division of gender roles how we

[32:15]have the division of labor there should no be there should not

[32:20]be any division when it comes to gender roles what else are

[32:22]we being told what are you hearing uh you know on campus

[32:27]by the way every few years there are new shifts right sometimes

[32:31]you know you'll hear that no there is no gender roles and

[32:36]we should even look and appear very similar right be dressed in

[32:41]a similar way and then several years later you find a pushback

[32:46]you know just the last few years you've seen a lot of

[32:50]guys at college campuses not muslims were talking about they're starting to

[32:54]grow beards right you've seen that trend whereas maybe 20 years ago

[32:58]this was not something probably welcome in in in public space but

[33:03]now there's a trend now there are reasons so what are you

[33:08]hearing these days when it comes to gender roles the generation in

[33:12]your age group what are they thinking about if you can speak

[33:18]into the mic they claim that the traditional roles on men throughout

[33:22]many ages is very toxic very sexist in which they are given

[33:26]all the power that's how they can give the roles right now

[33:34]they're also trying to convince like uh more let's say equality where

[33:40]where it is and same with females and anything a man can

[33:43]do a female continue that's what they're trying to explain yes that's

[33:47]one thing that we are commonly hearing that historically many societies have

[33:51]a patriarch patriarchal that i pronounce that correctly and that you know

[33:58]many societies have been misogynist as well and males usually exploit that

[34:05]power they take advantage of it and they treat women as second-class

[34:09]citizens yes that is one objection that we're hearing yes sister um

[34:20]i don't know if it's that common but i'm always feeling like

[34:23]traditional women even though they choose their lifestyle their shame a lot

[34:26]like people will choose to be like maybe more feminine old-fashioned they're

[34:31]like always pressured like why don't you be a feminist that's something

[34:34]that's very common yes there's a lot of pressure on women who

[34:39]would like to you know adopt a more traditional lifestyle there's a

[34:44]lot of pressure against them yes that's something that we're also witnessing

[34:48]so now let me ask you this question based on your understanding

[34:55]society what's your recommendation do you think there should be a difference

[34:59]when it comes to roles a division of roles or no we

[35:04]should eliminate any sort of difference meaning you shouldn't have any expectation

[35:09]about what a man should do and what a woman should do

[35:14]it should be uniform you should not have different expectations from men

[35:19]and women what do you guys say let's hear let's hear some

[35:24]responses and be honest we want to have an honest productive discussion

[35:27]let's start with the sisters do you do you think there should

[35:33]be some division of gender roles a husband and a wife a

[35:36]father and a mother or no it should be exactly the same

[35:57]okay that's that that's a fair comment here biologically we are different

[36:01]we can't do the same exact things biologically so maybe some things

[36:07]need to be different right any any other thoughts yes sister um

[36:16]i do agree that there is biological differences but i don't think

[36:19]that those biological differences should translate into differences the way you're treated

[36:24]in society um should be treated any different than a man in

[36:28]a job or in politics or in society and that's what society

[36:32]always targets um a woman's feet like that's targeted for women expect

[36:37]that she's a woman and that she should stay home and give

[36:39]birth and so he uses that biological like reasoning it is a

[36:44]good reasoning but other people take it and use it as continuing

[36:45]to tear a woman down so i do agree that like there

[36:52]is a difference but it shouldn't matter because you're not expected to

[36:56]take on a job so grand so those differences should not be

[37:00]a reason to deny women any opportunities okay that's that's fair uh

[37:06]the sister there well they're in my opinion through in the religious

[37:13]like lens there is a difference between a man and a woman

[37:18]listening to marriage because for example one big thing is like okay

[37:23]a man is supposed to provide for the family rather than a

[37:27]woman is not obligated to do so and there is no difference

[37:32]when it comes to okay who raises the kids who cleans the

[37:34]house who does one two three four that should be equally distributed

[37:38]to spouses but there is a fine line between islamically what can

[37:44]a man do what can women do what is the obligation of

[37:47]one gender in the religion and what is the obligation of the

[37:51]other um but socially we it confuses us to tell us no

[37:54]we could do one two three four just because a man can

[37:57]or a woman can't do this because of her gender or a

[38:01]man can't do this because of his gender they look down upon

[38:06]it but i feel like our lens should be more focused on

[38:09]what religion says one very good observation here is that if you

[38:16]look at you know the feminist movement while they've achieved a lot

[38:21]of progress in many areas if you really analyze this movement there

[38:26]is one setback for women in that movement and i'll share with

[38:34]you what that is and we'll let's have a discussion on this

[38:36]and if you disagree i'd like to hear your opinions about that

[38:41]oftentimes some feminist movements when they advocate for equality and fair treatment

[38:48]and equal treatment and they try to make the woman like the

[38:54]man okay why is it that women for instance should do this

[38:59]or wear this or go into that field is it because it's

[39:03]good for them it's healthy for them no no no just because

[39:06]men do it they have to do it that's problematic because when

[39:11]you when you advocate for this mindset essentially you're you're accepting man

[39:19]as the superior and so you're trying to make the woman like

[39:22]the man so you're accepting him as the standard islam rejects this

[39:27]islam does not consider the man as the standard and let's make

[39:31]the woman like the man islam says no the man you have

[39:38]your own independent standard the woman the female you have your own

[39:42]independent standard and i believe this is an area that islam beautifully

[39:48]protects the rights of women the dignity of women by not allowing

[39:58]society to constantly try to measure the woman against a man because

[40:02]when you do so indirectly you're expecting you're accepting man as the

[40:11]standard islam tells us allah has created us he's the manufacturer and

[40:15]we're the product he knows what's good for us you the woman

[40:18]you have your own independent standard no one can compare you to

[40:23]a man man you have your own standard in giving us two

[40:29]independent standards is protecting our honor and dignity and i find that

[40:34]beautiful in the religion of islam yes there are ignorant societies who

[40:39]misunderstand islamic recommendations islamic guidelines and obviously there's a lot of oppression

[40:46]i was once on the plane coming back from canada and this

[40:51]canadian lady had questions about islam so one of her objections was

[40:57]why does islam been woman from driving i told her i just

[41:02]i was curious where she had heard that right so i told

[41:06]i told her where does islam ban woman from driving are claiming

[41:09]that the quran bans women from driving she's like yeah at least

[41:14]that's what i've been told or what i've heard i told her

[41:18]you believe in that she's like i mean from from what i

[41:21]see i know she's going to some countries in the middle east

[41:24]yeah that that seems true i just asked her a question by

[41:29]the way she was a phd graduate you were not talking about

[41:37]somebody ignorant here no she had a phd i asked her the

[41:40]following question i told her can i ask you when do you

[41:44]think the quran was revealed or written she's like i don't really

[41:49]know but a long time ago i told her yes a very

[41:52]long time ago a thousand four hundred years ago i told her

[41:57]do you think there were vehicles and cars a thousand four hundred

[42:01]years ago for islam to even try to ban it like how

[42:05]does that even work she was dumbfounded shocked something very simple to

[42:13]you and to you and me but not the public society out

[42:17]there you see these misconceptions here in fact in fact ladies was

[42:24]the most beloved wife of prophet sallallahu alaihi the one whom he

[42:27]chose to start his family she was an independent woman she managed

[42:32]her own business the wealthiest woman in arabia that's big arabia did

[42:39]treat women as second-class citizens before islam yes that's true the prophet

[42:46]chose her as his wife what does that tell you about the

[42:50]prophet saw allah he wants women to be locked up in some

[42:52]house not doing anything not being productive isolated completely from society absolutely

[42:59]not if that was the case why did he marry khadija you

[43:00]could have married one of those women in mecca who was isolated

[43:06]she had caravans she had men working for her agents representing her

[43:12]that's ladies so islam is very big on this issue don't constantly

[43:21]try to compare one gender to another gender and thereby accepting the

[43:27]other gender as the standard as being superior that's an act of

[43:31]injustice that's the beauty of the religion of islam now having said

[43:37]that my dear brothers and sisters islam does have recommendations for us

[43:43]but not in all areas does islam impose something on us in

[43:47]a lot of areas islam says you work it out you husband

[43:52]and wife mom and dad work it out siblings work it out

[43:56]we just in the beginning we talked about the event two days

[44:01]ago the marriage in this beautiful hadith he uses a beautiful arabic

[44:09]word to describe how they made an agreement to manage house chores

[44:15]he says takasama those who are fluent in arabic what does takasama

[44:24]mean arabic is a beautiful language when you look at the grammar

[44:27]it's it's it's beautiful it's complex and beautiful what does the word

[44:33]mean it's one word but but if you want to say it

[44:38]in english you'll have to say a full sentence what does it

[44:43]mean okay so means they decided to share equally and it's in

[44:50]the dual form so two people when they decide mutually right consensually

[44:58]that let's agree i do this and you do that we call

[45:01]this an arabic they together decided to divide these house chores so

[45:22]that says lady fatima what did she choose she told him i

[45:28]will get the wheat grind the wheat make dough and bake bread

[45:33]what did he agree to do [Music] anyone knows the hadith what

[45:38]did imam ali to do in the house three things yes brother

[45:48]sweep the house ken's in arabic that's kids like you came out

[45:53]to sweep the floor you sleep the house the second one protect

[46:05]how like your bodyguard at the door yes protection let's let's see

[46:13]how the islam protected his his family so the other two things

[46:16]are to bring wood from outside so they could cook just like

[46:23]the wood that we have here right so the imam said i

[46:25]will go outside and bring it and he also accepted to bring

[46:30]water from the well it's a strenuous activity now imam assad didn't

[46:35]say that this was imposed on them the prophet came and told

[46:39]him you know alibnavit you have to do this my dear my

[46:45]daughter fatima you have to do that they agreed when it comes

[46:49]to your house and the house chores islam does not impose something

[46:53]on you and say okay men have to do this women have

[46:59]to do that no up to you you'll figure it out be

[47:01]good with one another live decently and you can figure that out

[47:06]but when it comes to some aspects like the burden of bringing

[47:12]food to the table of earning an income it's only fair to

[47:17]put that burden on the man the woman can work but she

[47:22]doesn't have to so islam when it comes to financial burden yes

[47:27]there is a division of gender roles the man is obligated to

[47:33]is obligated to does not have the option to stay at home

[47:36]and say i'm not going to work and provide for my family

[47:38]allah told him now that you're married you have a wife you

[47:42]have children it's your obligation do nobody a favor it's your obligation

[47:48]but islam does not impose that obligation on the woman why someone

[47:56]could say why didn't islam make this a shared responsibility 50 of

[48:00]the burden is on the man 50 of the burden is on

[48:05]the woman why physical limitings can you expand on that okay so

[48:13]back then there was a lot of lifting right so for you

[48:17]to lift a bucket of water from the strenuous it's not easy

[48:20]you've heard of the story of prophet musa alayhi salaam when he

[48:25]entered median after fleeing the pharaoh and you saw the two daughters

[48:29]of right the men over there they were gathering around the well

[48:34]and flexing their muscles and you know extracting all that water now

[48:37]these two girls they couldn't do that so he helped them out

[48:40]that's how he got to know them and got to know prophet

[48:44]tribe and he married one of them so yes historically working and

[48:51]making and bringing food to the table required a lot of physical

[48:54]uh effort and for islam to impose that on the female tell

[49:03]her you have to equally share with this responsible with the mill

[49:06]was not fair because brothers and sisters biologically were different men are

[49:11]not better biologically but they're different the biological makeup of our bodies

[49:17]on average it's different so islam imposed that obligation on men and

[49:24]did not impose the obligation on woman because if islam had done

[49:29]so that would have been unjust to the woman it would have

[49:34]been unfair to the woman so yes they work but they don't

[49:38]have to do the heavy physical activity that men have to do

[49:42]because remember like the sister said you know sometimes a woman can

[49:46]be going through pregnancy right she's pregnant so do you tell her

[49:50]go and lift this bucket of water that's 50 pounds that's not

[49:55]fair you're harming her you're harming the baby by imposing that on

[50:01]her but islam did impose this obligation on the men okay now

[50:03]you could argue say it why are you talking about 14 centuries

[50:07]ago today you go in the comfort of your own office you

[50:11]don't lift anything other than your pen and paper the heaviest thing

[50:15]you lift is probably your iphone so we're not talking about any

[50:19]physical difficulty right life has changed this is corporate america you can

[50:25]go and find a job in one of these corporations or all

[50:30]you have to do is you know make phone calls for your

[50:35]job remember islam says the wife is free to work as long

[50:38]as it doesn't conflict with other obligations but islam does not impose

[50:42]it on her why today you could say we live in a

[50:47]society where this should be equally shared islam still emphasizes this point

[50:52]that no the burden is on the map she can help out

[50:55]but the burden is on the man why is this fair and

[51:00]why and does science help us here in this regard be honest

[51:08]we're having an open discussion what do you think about this should

[51:12]men and women today share the financial burden equally like 50 50

[51:18]or no you are advocates of the burden being more on the

[51:22]men than the woman yes there is a social expectation that she

[51:25]should work that she should share part of the burden but should

[51:32]that burden be equal or the burden should be more on the

[51:38]man what will the sisters say i was gonna say it should

[51:45]be decided between the man and the woman but the husband and

[51:47]the wife because they don't know where their strengths lie and their

[51:51]weaknesses lie and that yeah the men should bring more because the

[51:55]god has investigation for whatever it may be but it should as

[51:58]you said there that the quran doesn't give anything for everything it

[52:00]does leave some decisions to be decided between okay so one suggestion

[52:14]is let them figure that out as long as they're okay with

[52:18]it they mutually come to an agreement let them find let them

[52:21]equally share it 50 50.

[52:22]any other responses i feel that there should be not necessarily like

[52:27]the head of the household person that decides everything of course everything

[52:31]should be discussed equally between the spouses but there could be the

[52:35]head of a household i put in quotation marks to where this

[52:38]person is the protector and the provider and provides support for the

[52:45]family because islamically women cannot be in certain settings they cannot go

[52:51]out and like just the idea of like the attraction or like

[52:55]women in certain arenas cannot be put in like certain public figures

[53:00]but a man can and because of their status that he has

[53:04]he should be the one that provides and protects for the family

[53:09]regardless of the woman working like she could still come and provide

[53:12]as well but he should bring more support so more of the

[53:17]burden should be on him basically so you you like you agree

[53:21]with that my dear brothers and sisters i'd like to share before

[53:25]we hear more responses some studies about this here in america women

[53:31]two to three times more than men i'm this is official statistics

[53:37]i'm not looking at numbers why do you think that is the

[53:45]case even if you look at northern europe where they are considered

[53:48]more egalitarian societies scandinavian societies a country like sweden or finland and

[53:54]you compare it to countries in southern europe that are considered a

[53:59]little bit more traditional like greece the psychological well-being and the happiness

[54:04]and the rates of depression amongst women in greece is higher than

[54:09]women in northern europe and scandinavia these are official statistics why do

[54:14]you think that is the case even though northern europe is more

[54:18]egalitarian yes because like even when you have working men and working

[54:28]women in society there's like okay there's a stereotype that men as

[54:32]long as they're working they need to be present as fathers like

[54:35]okay they're fulfilling their role but then women have to roles and

[54:38]constantly like okay you're expected not to be smart [Music] but you're

[54:43]you cannot be neglecting your role as a mother like if you're

[54:47]not doing both you're falling short of your expectations whereas men have

[54:50]always been that's a very good observation here and in a lot

[55:07]of western societies my dear brothers and sisters what has happened is

[55:12]that instead of bringing equality and allowing the men and women to

[55:17]share the burden what society has done right a lot of times

[55:23]is to increase the burden on women even to the point where

[55:29]a woman sometimes a wife a mother has to experience a greater

[55:33]burden than the man okay the guy has his career he was

[55:36]working eight hours a day so given that she's living in a

[55:41]society that's egalitarian she's expected to also work the same number of

[55:46]hours i'll also work eight hours a day okay when you look

[55:49]at the work hours you've solved it you've brought equality but then

[55:55]outside of work what's happening the woman is still the one who's

[55:59]the one going through pregnancy she you know has that greater responsibility

[56:04]and commitment when the child is born nursing the child all of

[56:09]that right basically one reason why these psychological disorders and the stress

[56:15]level is higher amongst women in america and a lot of european

[56:19]countries is because the burden has been increased on them they have

[56:22]to have four shifts three shifts the eight hour job is one

[56:30]shift there's two other shifts at home and then when it comes

[56:32]to your parents as well you know you have to uh shuffle

[56:36]around all these priorities and and i know a lot of it

[56:41]is the traditional mentality but that's just the reality out there a

[56:44]mother today she's working eight hours she's still more emotionally invested in

[56:49]her children and her parents are aging she's expected to be there

[56:56]for them more whereas the guy khalas he has his eight-hour job

[56:59]and then after that really there aren't that there's not that much

[57:06]expectation that's not fair so islam from day one says the burden

[57:10]is on you the man feel free to make an agreement where

[57:16]the wife helps you willingly not because she's pressured to and what

[57:22]i see today my dear brothers and sisters and this really disturbs

[57:25]me i'll be very honest with you there are sisters very active

[57:30]very educated but they realize that if i'd like to start my

[57:35]family i want to spend more time with my children be more

[57:37]committed as a mother who's a role model at home others around

[57:41]her look down on her she's not out there working eight hours

[57:45]for that career there are people in her own group women in

[57:50]her society who view her negatively ah you're backwards in your mentality

[57:54]that's not fair for you to impose that on her this will

[57:59]lead to a lot of stress and that leads to many types

[58:05]of psychological disorders that's why it's two to three times more here

[58:08]in america we have to understand that my dear brothers and sisters

[58:13]so my recommendation is if we want to understand this islamically yes

[58:16]it's the man's obligation to work full-time my recommendation is if the

[58:21]if there are children if the wife is a mother she can

[58:25]work part-time but why does he have to work full-time why i

[58:30]know society expects that from her but islamic islam says that's unfair

[58:35]don't put that pressure on her if she has that extra time

[58:39]fine that's her choice she can do that but don't make it

[58:43]an expectation that burdens her that's not fair this is what's happening

[58:51]in our societies and by the way this is mentioned in our

[58:55]hadiths that talk about the signs of the end of times in

[58:59]one hadith states and the woman will join her husband in business

[59:09]in the workforce now what is the meaning of the hadith it

[59:12]means that either the family obligations are abandoned islam has so much

[59:22]respect for motherhood that heaven that we all aspire to go to

[59:25]lies beneath the feet of who mothers see see the respect islam

[59:30]gives to others but in our society today no not not not

[59:33]that much career is more important some other aspects are more important

[59:38]other activities may be more important so islam the way i understand

[59:49]it is that the burden is on the man she's welcome to

[59:51]help if she can work part-time little work part-time but to pressure

[59:55]her to work more than that that would not be fair that's

[59:58]added stress that leads to negative consequences and subhanallah just look at

[60:03]the studies in europe look at northern europe egalitarian societies who think

[60:07]exactly what men are doing how come they're not happier than women

[60:10]in greece why not something's wrong something's not working and it's important

[60:17]to look at statistics yes any other yeah you had some observations

[60:26]brother going off of what you mentioned said and what some of

[60:34]the sisters mentioned so i think it's clear that the obligation um

[60:38]of providing for the families on the man and and that then

[60:42]the woman also has the choice um to share in that role

[60:47]but i think that and and that islam has much of it

[60:52]is to be kept between a husband and a wife to decide

[60:55]on how they want to split things but i think something that

[60:59]islam has done though is from a different angle accept certain societal

[61:07]and and family expectations or ideals so for example um for example

[61:13]if you want your child to be raised in a certain way

[61:16]so a big issue right now um comes to the cha uh

[61:19]uh many children they like attention from their parents and they lack

[61:24]a meeting of their emotional needs and this kind of goes um

[61:28]relates to the some of what we were talking about in the

[61:31]beginning about fulfilling those emotional needs that sometimes bring out um questions

[61:36]relating to a person's gender and all of that so i feel

[61:42]like these so this ideal in islam i'll fulfill the child's emotional

[61:47]need these cannot ideals cannot be fulfilled unless um different members of

[61:52]the family take on different roles and part of that is for

[61:55]example the mother um has a aggre of a greater role in

[62:00]giving that emotional need to the child and giving that attention to

[62:05]the child so though islam said that from my humble understanding that

[62:08]it's something to be discussed between the husband and wife and that

[62:13]um that's that the woman can work i think those are ideals

[62:19]though that need to be capped um in terms of me for

[62:21]example the child's emotional need and to be kept it does um

[62:26]call for for different for the husband or the wife to take

[62:31]on different specifically different duties or different priorities so like you mentioned

[62:34]for example working part-time to ensure that that emotional need because i

[62:39]feel bad also a lot of times i see um some sisters

[62:42]they go uh to work full-time and i understand that especially right

[62:47]now in the society living it's kind of hard to maintain a

[62:51]family um on one income unless of course you try to cut

[62:56]back on your spending um but at the same time so they

[62:59]work these nine or ten hours or whatever then they go home

[63:02]and they're exhausted because we see a man and a man is

[63:06]exhausted when he comes home and you don't blame them when you're

[63:11]working you know nine hours ten hours you will be exhausted definitely

[63:13]and then when they're exhausted then their child needs help with homework

[63:18]or their child needs attention or their child wants wants something from

[63:23]their mom so part of it is the male has the man

[63:25]has to come in and help but part of it is also

[63:29]reassessing the rules and reassessing our priorities what are we prioritizing and

[63:33]subhanallah allah through the biology of the female has given her that

[63:39]capacity to be an excellent mother you know we have two sides

[63:43]of the brain the right side and the left side on average

[63:48]on average women have four times the number of neurons connecting the

[63:53]right side to the left side than men look at these studies

[63:58]they're fascinating they are multitaskers have you seen mom she's in the

[64:04]kitchen she's on the phone with somebody and she's talking to the

[64:07]kids and giving directions and cooking managing everything we simply cannot pull

[64:13]that off on average they are good multitaskers women are better communicators

[64:20]and they better express emotional needs allah has equipped them islam says

[64:26]don't look down on that cherish that praise that appreciate that give

[64:31]them credit for that don't put that down and just celebrate what

[64:37]the man is able to do that is not only equally important

[64:43]more important allah didn't say that heaven is at the feet of

[64:47]that guy working for his career or the guy who has better

[64:54]muscles no allah said mother the fate of the mother because allah

[64:58]wants us to celebrate those qualities that make a mother such a

[65:05]good mother my brothers and sisters where we've approached the end of

[65:09]the discussion we promised that we talked about two more points very

[65:12]quickly and shall address these points and we'll we'll end the discussion

[65:17]inshaallah so one of the points that we wanted to discuss and

[65:21]this was a suggestion on our social media pages is the double

[65:25]standards in our community between sons and daughters you know the family

[65:32]expectations for instance the boys you know the families are a lot

[65:37]more flexible with what they do you know they may not have

[65:41]a curfew or a later curfew whereas the daughters know you know

[65:44]the families are a lot more strict with them yes we do

[65:47]have these double standards and it is unfortunate but one thing i'd

[65:53]like to share with you my dear brothers and sisters and please

[65:55]be open to what i will say i'm not justifying for these

[66:02]families however sometimes it's helpful to know why they think that way

[66:07]sometimes some of these parents the reason why they're strict more with

[66:11]their daughters than their sons they shouldn't be you know they should

[66:14]be equally strict and have clear standards for both but one reason

[66:21]why sometimes parents um operate like that is because of cultural expectations

[66:29]and the cultural talk and the social talk that surrounds our families

[66:36]i'll give you an example let's say let's say you're a brother

[66:42]and you're a sister let's say your brother the guy the son

[66:45]he did something inappropriate late at night something inappropriate the community found

[66:52]out this guy you know did something a little bit inappropriate at

[66:57]11 30 p.m okay there's going to be some haki here and

[67:03]there it's expected what if the girl at 11 30 did something

[67:10]inappropriate how does the society comment on that do you think it's

[67:12]equal or there's a difference be honest let's hear from the sisters

[67:16]first i'm not saying this is right or wrong or just i'm

[67:21]just trying to figure out what's going on out there in society

[67:23]what do you think happens socially is society tougher on her or

[67:31]on the boy on her right so parents they they acknowledge they

[67:38]know that that's why they become more protective with their daughter because

[67:41]they want to avoid having their daughters let's say having a bad

[67:46]reputation sometimes it's important to know this about the community yes we

[67:53]should change that and you the generation today you can change that

[67:55]you can change these expectations and and make them more fair more

[68:00]equal but we do live in a society that is like that

[68:06]unfortunately and sometimes parents do realize that and that's why sometimes they

[68:10]do have double standards it's it's healthy just to keep that in

[68:13]mind yes brother yes men and women have their own separate standards

[68:25]yeah but see what my point is we're talking about a guy

[68:29]who's doing something inappropriate right well something that's inappropriate isn't appropriate no

[68:35]matter who does it whether it's a man or a woman but

[68:38]usually families are flexible with their son if he does something inappropriate

[68:44]but not with the girl they're strict they're tough so we're trying

[68:48]to just understand you know why that is the case when it

[68:53]comes to sins or something that's inappropriate islam has one standard you

[68:57]know you're a man you come you're a woman you care medicine

[69:00]in the eyes of god that's equal it's a sin at the

[69:02]end of the day but no families will easily let the guy

[69:05]go it's okay but not with the girl they're much more strict

[69:11]with that and sometimes you even see someone in the family it

[69:14]could be an older brother and and you know they take things

[69:18]out of hand they start becoming aggressive and abusive this is wrong

[69:21]this is definitely wrong i know there's a lot more to discuss

[69:25]about this maybe inshallah on another opportunity uh we'll explore this further

[69:29]the final point as promised and basically we'll conclude this point by

[69:35]asking you just some you know very quick questions one of the

[69:41]requests was to talk about how the genders can meet one another

[69:44]today for a potential spouse you know on social media is that

[69:50]appropriate are there other ways i know this is a long discussion

[69:54]we can go for an hour just discussing this but i ask

[69:57]you just one quick question in the last five years do you

[70:02]know someone in your generation from your friends or your friends friends

[70:06]got married if you know someone raise your hand okay so pretty

[70:12]much all of you know someone pretty much in your generation maybe

[70:16]their 20s mid 20s late 20s who got married knowing those friends

[70:23]how they got married how did they get married how did they

[70:26]come to know one another okay so the brother is saying families

[70:33]so how so the guy basically asked about a good family and

[70:40]he just went and proposed okay yeah that does happen sometimes in

[70:45]the community yes mutual friends like on facebook you mean okay so

[70:55]a mutual friend so let's say there's a sister whom you know

[70:58]she has a friend so you ask you know that friend about

[71:05]that other person and they can tell you about this person and

[71:07]you know you can be introduced sisters let's hear from you the

[71:11]people whom you know that they got married how did they get

[71:14]married how did they get to know one another yes i have

[71:18]a friend she's been married for a couple years now and she

[71:22]actually met him through the nyc so she met him through these

[71:27]programs and a lot of people looked down so now you're marketing

[71:30]them i'm just kidding it wasn't an appropriate way obviously but um

[71:35]okay so basically the idea is through a religious youth program they

[71:40]got to know one another and a lot of people see something

[71:44]wrong with it but i think if it's in an appropriate obviously

[71:49]environment and obviously both or the male has the correct intentions in

[71:54]mind i think it's a great way to meet somebody in my

[71:57]opinion it's a very very good observation sister how many of you

[72:02]here think it's inappropriate for someone to get another potential spouse in

[72:07]a youth program who thinks it's inappropriate who thinks it's appropriate okay

[72:18]your parents do they think it's inappropriate no they think it's it's

[72:29]appropriate so your generation you're you're okay with that you think it

[72:32]is completely appropriate what about your parents generation are they as okay

[72:37]with it as you are or probably not maybe maybe not right

[72:43]and and you see these shifts happening so yes my dear brothers

[72:47]and sisters that that that's a very good suggestion remember in a

[72:51]lot of community activities and a lot of youth groups that is

[72:54]an opportunity to get to know someone uh to be a potential

[72:59]spouse or sometimes at a retreat i know some parents do not

[73:03]want us to see this believe me they will have an issue

[73:05]oh if you're going to say that i'm not going to let

[73:07]my son or daughter go to the next uh um i say

[73:12]friday night program right but this is wrong i believe into you

[73:16]the parent what do you want your son to know his future

[73:18]wife or your daughter to know her future husband on the college

[73:22]campus that's okay with you but not at a good youth program

[73:26]this is jail this is ignorance and we have to do our

[73:31]best to change this mentality that's a perfectly acceptable venue to know

[73:37]someone it's a given that most people are coming with good intentions

[73:41]they're coming to learn develop their spirituality people who have bad intentions

[73:46]they have a thousand other places to go to [Music] yes through

[74:02]the business partnership that they had so the prophet sallallahu alaihi wanted

[74:07]to help out his financially struggling and abu talib had taken the

[74:15]prophet into his care so the prophet wanted to basically pay him

[74:19]back so in his early 20s the prophet was looking for a

[74:23]business opportunity he had heard that lady khadijah has these big caravans

[74:26]they go to yemen they go to street they do business so

[74:31]lady khadijah heard from someone that muhammad sallallahu alaihi this is before

[74:37]he was a prophet is interested in you know a business opportunity

[74:42]so she sent the message to the prophet that i would like

[74:46]to give you that opportunity i've heard that you're an young man

[74:51]so the prophet went and he did business she had a servant

[74:56]by the name of mesara a man by the name of mesa

[75:00]and basically she told him go with muhammad sallallahu alaihi to syria

[75:04]and i want you to observe his actions see observe ask someone

[75:09]who's observed a potential person a spouse it's very important to observe

[75:14]to know the character of another person so the prophet went on

[75:19]that trip he did business he came back it was a very

[75:23]successful business trip the first thing that happened is that hadith islam

[75:28]tell me about this young man was he honest how did he

[75:32]speak to people how did we deal with other people what did

[75:36]you notice about his character a full report of the prophet's character

[75:41]the minute mesa gave her that report she knew this was the

[75:46]man for her this is the man whom i've been waiting for

[75:50]honest decent excellent character and she even tried to double his pay

[75:55]because he made a lot of money for her the prophet said

[75:59]no we agreed on this amount i'll take this amount she's like

[76:02]he's not greedy unlike other people in this position they want three

[76:08]times more he's not dating i love this person so she sent

[76:11]one of her friends by the name of nefisa to the prophet

[76:14]sallallahu alaihi she told him that you know if you are looking

[76:21]to get married is also looking to get married so she indirectly

[76:26]suggested it to him and that's how it happened so she got

[76:32]to know him through that business opportunity my dear brothers and sisters

[76:38]it was a a great honor to be with you this evening

[76:40]to have this wonderful discussion i know there's a lot more to

[76:46]it inshallah on another opportunity we can continue this discussion may allah

[76:50]bless you all and bless your families and protect you all stand

[76:56]up in honor of alibaba and recite [Music] a reminder next week

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التالي

Gender Roles in Islam | Sayed Mohammad Baqer Qazwini | MYC

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التالي

Gender Roles in Islam | Sayed Mohammad Baqer Qazwini | MYC

Transcript

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