Ask the bride and groom to pray for you.

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Why Ask for God’s Forgiveness?

Why should we supplicate God? What should we focus on and feel sorry for when praying? Why should we be sad?
Friends, the main reason for asking for God’s forgiveness is not our visible sins. The main reason that we should ask for God’s forgiveness through insisting, begging, taking refuge in God, invoking Him, and crying, is not just because of a few bad deeds. Asking for God’s forgiveness this comprehensively is not needed for our sins that we know of. What should we focus on and feel sorry for in praying? Why should we be sad? The main reason that we have to insist on asking for God’s forgiveness are our hidden vices.
This is the problem. Satan will torment the person who is not worried about his hidden vices. Friends, it doesn’t matter who or where he is. Whether the person is religious or prays. Whatever his political beliefs. Whoever is sure of himself, is ruined. Satan will torment him.
When Aba Abdillah Al-Husayn (a) was supplicating in the gulley where he was martyred, he was reviewing his worries about himself in the presence of God. “O the Redresser of he, who asks for redress, help me.” What does he mean, “Help me”? Does it mean lessen my wounds? Does it mean don’t let my head be cut off? Does “help me” mean these things?! Does “help me” mean don’t be unkind to me? So what help do you want? Why are you still supplicating and crying? You are not worried about what God will do! The Quran says, “He has the best names”. Imam Husayn (a) is not worried about God’s kindness or his own wounds either. These were destined!
Their faces became flushed as they came closer to martyrdom. They were sure that they were dying in the best situation! Imam Husayn (a) wasn’t worried about his situation either. Imam (a) what are you worried about now? What do you want God’s help for? Tell us so that tomorrow we can pray for that too.
The meaning of this is that one should never be sure about himself. The Commander of the Faithful (Imam Ali) (a) was never sure about himself. The Prophet (s) gave the news of Imam Ali’s (a), the Leader of the Faithful’s, martyrdom to him! If it was us, we would probably be excited and say, “Thanks God. We are going to be martyred. The Prophet (s) stated this.” Imam Ali (a) asked, “Am I a believer at that time?” O, Commander of the Faithful (a), you torture us by talking like this. Was this a real question?! Your question makes me feel miserable throughout my whole life! Was this a serious question? Were you joking? Were you talking emotionally? What was it?! Why did you ask this question?! You know you were born in the House of God. You could hear all revelations. The Prophet (s) said that you are the ‘Separator between Heaven and Hell’. This is your status. You know that the Prophet doesn’t lie! So what are you worried about? Don’t make us crazy. You are not joking either.
What are you still searching for deep inside? What a great being the human is! It is a command. It has been said, “Don’t be sure about yourself, otherwise your fountain of tears will dry.” Otherwise, your supplications will be for just a few actions for which God will tell you, “Those actions are not important. You yourself are in ruins. You purify yourself.”
Asking for God’s forgiveness is not for just a few actions. Asking for God’s forgiveness is asking for God’s help for our hidden vices, to which we are prone. And we have them. We have them. We have them!
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Haj Qasem’s School of Thought

Actions speak louder…

[Ayatollah Khamenei:] We shouldn’t look at Haj Qasem Soleimani as being just one person. We should look at him as a school of thought, as a path and as a school of instruction.
We should try to get to know Soleimani’s school of thought. When we look at him as a school of thought, it will be more instructive. He can be viewed either as a school of thought or as a school of practical mysticism. A school of thought is a collection of knowledge and solutions in actions. For the high concepts in human beings’ lives to become manifested in action and for them to be understood, it takes a long time.
For example, the concept of “sacrificing.” What is sacrificing? A person needs something himself, but he lets go of it and gives it to someone else. By just describing it, this meaning doesn’t become clear. But when you give an example, people say, “Aha! Right!” It is then that a person starts to understand.
Thus, a tradition says, “Invite people with your actions.” Invite people to theoretical concepts by way of actions. Invite people to knowledge with your actions. Because nothing like actions can increase knowledge. Sometimes you must see an action in order to understand a concept. Sometimes you should act yourself in order to understand that concept.
Some fathers tell their sons, “You haven’t become a father yet. You don’t understand.” You ask them, “What is it that they don’t understand?” They say, “I miss my child.” The child says, “I understand this.” The father replies, “No, you don’t understand. You should become a father to be able to understand.”
If we did not need this so much, it probably wasn’t that necessary to build schools of thought. We need Soleimani’s school of thought. Some things cannot be understood from Imam Khomeini’s school of thought without Soleimani’s school of thought. Some things cannot be understood about the Shi’a school of thought without Imam Khomeini. Similarly, the essence of the Qur’an cannot be understood without the Household of the Prophet (as). The Household of the Prophet (as) don’t say anything more than what is in the Qur’an. All their words and actions are an explanation of the Qur’an. They are a continuation of those concepts that are being manifested in a tangible form and in actions. In order to understand some things they should be seen in actions. That is why when a person acts correctly, his life becomes a school of thought.
That is how Soleimani’s school of thought was formed. Why do we believe his life is a school of thought? If a person has been successful in acting correctly, much wisdom can be seen in his behavior. He has a good understanding. Even the scholars need to see and study this kind of good understanding. Some of this cannot be found in libraries.


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Psychological Differences between Men and Women

The psychological differences between men and women have become very clear now! Men look at the whole more. Women look at details more. What is he better for? What is she better for? The psychological differences between men and women have become very clear now! What is he better for? What is she better for?
“The Psychological Differences between Men and Women, Differences in Roles”
Talcott Parsons was a prominent figure in Functionalism. In his analysis, which was about the gender division of labour, he said, “A man being the breadwinner and the leader of the family and the woman being the homemaker is the best model.” I’m not relating this from Islam. Ask him himself why he said this? He continued, “If a woman takes on the role of being the breadwinner, there is the fear that competition with the husband will arise. This situation is very harmful to the unity and balance of the family. In each human system and organization there must be a hierarchy. Having a hierarchy in the family is necessary. One of the members of the family must play an instrumental and commanding role, and manage the family.” He explained that otherwise the family is spiritually thrown out of balance.
Some research has been done on children under the age of five. “The results show that boys have a significantly higher tendency towards social domination than girls do. And, girls have gotten higher scores in social and emotional skills, and in self-regulation. Girls prefer to play in smaller groups. They usually have one very close friend. Boys prefer to play in larger groups. They look at the members of the group equally. In playing, boys prefer to have one role in the group, in which they may end up in conflict with others. However, girls prefer to play together so there won’t be any conflict. Boys prefer to play outside the house. Girls prefer to play and do things in the presence of an adult.” The psychological differences between men and women have become very clear now! A woman’s personality is such that she likes to have a man who is powerful and supportive. These topics are not things, which we need to talk about in the religious meetings and our lectures!
Once, we went on a fieldtrip with Tehran University. All kinds of men and women participated. It wasn’t a religious camp at all. They asked about the differences between men and women in Islam. I said, “You don’t need to talk about the differences between men and women in Islam. Put this aside. Do you yourself understand your differences?” Some said yes and some said no. I said, “Let’s start and practice here.”
One of the questions that I asked was, “Women! Do you like your husbands to listen to you even if they don’t love you?” They said, “No, love is important for us.” I said, “Those who agree raise their hands.” Everyone was looking. All of them rose their hands. Then, I asked the same question from the men. I asked, “Men! Do you like your wives to listen to you even if they don’t love you?” They all said “yes” very bravely! I said, “Those who agree raise their hands.” They did so. All of them started laughing for a few minutes.
What is important for a man is that she obeys him. What is important for a woman is that he likes her! Her heart will break if he doesn’t love her! It is possible that sometimes there is a woman who is…! What should I say?! And sometimes there may be a man who is like a flower! What should I say?!
Sometimes we raise boys like girls, and sometimes we raise girls like boys. The psychological differences between men and women have become very clear now! What is he better for? What is she better for?
[From the series of speeches under the topic of “The Last Preparation before the Reappearance of the Saviour, Correcting Management in Family and Society.”]



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How should we talk to Aba al-Fazl al-Abbas (‘a)?

All the eulogies about Karbala are about Aba al-Fazl. Shall I show you a way of reading a eulogy, so that you will feel you are near the grave of Aba al-Fazl al-Abbas? Believe me! You read the eulogy and Abbas’s cries will fill the sky. Many have talked to him like this and gotten results. Talk very simply!
Say, “Abbas! Fix me or I’ll lose my reputation!” Because, Aba al-Fazl is very sensitive about reputation. He is a gentleman. He is a real man, very much so.
Do you know how you should ask for your requests from Aba al-Fazl? Someone said, “I went near Abbas’s grave. An Iraqi man had stuck his son’s head to the grave. He talked to the grave. Then he released his son’s head and said something to him. Again, he pressed his son’s head and said some things.
I brought someone and asked him, ‘What is he saying? He is not crying or anything, and he is talking very firmly.’ That person said, ‘Let me listen.’ Then he started crying. He said, ‘His son has a headache and the doctors have said that there is no hope. He is saying here, “O Aba al-Fazl, heal my son’s head.” Then he asks his son, “Are you better?” The son says, “No.” The father replies, “Wait. It’ll get better now. Aba al-Fazl fix his head. I have work to do. I have to go.”’” They are like this.
Say, “Abbas, I have promised to become a real person. Don’t let me lose my reputation!” Talk very simply! “Fix me or I’ll lose my reputation!”

Each moment He is waiting to see if I will return to Him or not.
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According to the traditions, a person who says that he won’t get anywhere in this world will be deprived of everything. Many people don’t get up to talk to God since they think they’re not valuable. They think they’re being humble when they don’t consider themselves to be valuable. Yes, the Friends of God go to God and say, “God, I’m nothing. Have mercy on Your lowly servant.” What does “lowly” mean?
If you think in a bad way that you are bad, contemptible and inferior, you will not pray for yourself at all. You won’t go to God anymore. You won’t consider yourself to be valuable for you to supplicate God. Why don’t we pray to God, cry and plead for the Reappearance? Because we think, “We’re not important in this world! How important are we?! God doesn’t look at us, does He?!”
“You are important to God!” “But we’re sinners, we aren’t important!” “My dear, you’re so important that when you start repenting, the Almighty God says, “Tell My servants that when they repent and return to Me, I am [happy] like a person in the desert who has found his lost food and water.” “O God, but You’re not in need, are You?!” He’ll reply, “I’m not in need. But I love My servant so much that his destiny is important to Me.”
Pharaoh was important to God. God was going to take him to Hell, and He did in the end. But he was important to God that He told Moses (as) to talk to him with gentle words. [Qur’an 20:44] “He has rebelled and won’t accept. Talk to him in a way that he becomes convinced.” “O God, is Pharaoh important for You or Moses? You’re telling Moses (as) to talk mildly with Pharaoh!” Pharaoh is important for Him. God’s kindness toward Pharaoh is very surprising.
[One may say,] “Don’t say this! God doesn’t like the disbelievers.” Yes, I know God is angry with them, but He has talked about them a lot. This shows a disbeliever is so important to God that He rebukes him so that he may return! I am important to God. Yes, it’s true that since I’m not that good a person, I’m not that valuable and I won’t be greatly rewarded. And God doesn’t like me the way He likes good people. But He hasn’t thrown me away! And this is very valuable.
Satan tells a person, “God doesn’t look at you at all.” But he’s very wrong! It’s impossible that God doesn’t look at me. Each moment He is waiting to see if I will return to Him or not. I am important to God. My prayer is important to God! God listens. “What did My servant say?” Of course God doesn’t ask anyone. He knows this Himself. I’m playing it out like this. [God says,] “What did My servant say? What was his opinion about the Reappearance?” “He didn’t say anything.” “Did God ask my opinion?” “Yes, God asks your opinion.” Looking at yourself in a bad way shouldn’t dominate your mind. [You may say,] “Don’t you say that we should be humble and not be arrogant?”
Yes, one shouldn’t be arrogant. But even a bad child knows that he is important to his mother. A child who has failed his exam thinks, “What should I tell my mother?! I don’t care [about my test], but she will get very upset and may even start crying!” This is a very important point. But we consider ourselves to be so lowly, bad and little that we don’t see a mother waiting for us to want to cry for us.
I am important to God. My prayer is important to God! Each moment He is waiting to see if I will return to Him or not. Looking at yourself in a bad way shouldn’t dominate your mind.

Look from above

“Your best youth are those who are similar to your elders,” the Prophet (s)


“Your best youth are those who are similar to your elders.” [The Prophet (s), Makarim al-Akhlaq, p. 118] What is this similarity? People who are older are able to look from above. Do you know an example of looking from above? Apples drop from trees in front of many people. One person looked from above. He asked, “Why is it that everything that is released in the air drops down?” He looked from above. A revolution in Physics!
What happens if you don’t look from above? You may say, “Yeah! An apple dropped. All apples drop.” For example, one has just gotten married. The elder people in the family see that this young couple look for some privacy to speak softly together! They don’t even say anything special! They’re saying nonsensical things. “Did you see that?” “Yes I did.” “Did you see me too?” “Yes I did!” You could say these things out loud, “Did you see that place?” “Yes, I did!” When an older person looks from above he says, “Of course, they’ve just gotten married. Enjoy!” Imagine what happens if a young person looks from above. “The world will become dull to him/her.” “No, these trivial tastes will become tasteless for him/her. Such a person goes after pure tastes.”
Once a young man came to me and said, “I like my friend very much.” He was approximately the age of a high school student. “My friend has left our school.” Or, “He has changed his job. I really can’t tolerate this!” This often happens among the youth. He asked, “What’s the solution?” I said, “This feeling will pass!” He asked again, “What should I do?” I said, “Look! This feeling will pass. Do you understand? This feeling will pass. It’s temporary.” He said, “Sir, what should I do now?!” I said, “You’re not listening! This feeling will pass! This means you should look from above! You’ll laugh at this later. For now, try to see things from above.”
Once a young man came to me saying, “Sir, it’s my wedding.” I said, “Oh! It’s your wedding, so you must be happy!” He said, “No, we were engaged for a while. Now it’s our wedding. My family is rejoicing very much. But, I feel everything is normal! It’s nothing special. Do I have a problem?! They blame me, ‘Why aren’t you excited.’” I looked around to see if anyone was near by. I saw there wasn’t anyone. So, I told him, “See, you’re all right that you feel normal! Those who are over excited aren’t feeling well. Be comfortable! This is not an extraordinary event!” Some say, “Wow, it’s my wedding! Wow!” It’s just his/her wedding!
Look from above! If you look from above, you won’t be captivated by any likings. If you look from above, many excitements will be eliminated. Look from above!

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As only he can do, Agha Panahian makes us hopeless and then hopeful in the space of six minutes. Back by popular de

The World Will Change for You

It is rare to find a tradition like the one that I will read for you now. Hazrat Zahra (s) said, “Whoever sends his pure worship acts towards God, God will determine the best expedient for him.”

She (Hazrat Fatimah (s)) is a mother. A mother is compassionate. She has said the most important thing for each of our entire lives. Go and search. If you can find stronger words than these for building lives, bring them. Find them from the words of the Household of the Prophet (a) themselves. When people say mother, this is what they mean.
What did she say God would do for the person who sends pure worship towards Him? He will determine the best expedient for him.
A person has an accident; and, he says this is what was expedient for me. He marries and says this is what was expedient for me. He becomes rich and says this is what was expedient for me. Now my question is that were these the best of what could have happened for him? This is a very important question. (People say,) “This was destined for us. We did our best, but this was the result.” No matter if the result was good or bad, (the question is that) did the best of what could have happened for you come about?
I swear to God that we don’t know the friends of God. God is a witness that the world is at the disposal of His friends. I swear to God that there are many things that we can’t say about the lives of Imam Khomeini (r.h) and the leader (Ayatollah Khamenei).
It has been said “Don’t compare the pure people’s deeds with your own deeds, although the deeds may look similar.” Their lives are calculated based on something else. Did you see what Hazrat Khizr did? Hazrat Musa wasn’t able to be patient. Hazrat Khizr said, “I am working based upon what is the best, very complicated expedient. I receive some insight, and I have to act upon it. You won’t be able to be patient.”
“Was what came about in your interest?” “Yes.” “Was this marriage in your interest?” “Yes.” “Was it the best thing in your interest?” “I don’t know!” “What had you done for the best thing in your interest to be determined for you?”
The condition for the best thing in someone’s interest is pure worship. Change yourself, and the world will change for you. Since the Household of the Prophet (a) paid attention to themselves, they were able to change the world. Hazrat Fatimah Zahra (s) paid attention to herself. Every moment she was in pursuit of changing and perfecting herself.

Change yourself, and the world will change for you.



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