Dear religious people, God expects change from you more.

O honorable proud people, good young men, honorable women, God expects us religious people to change more than those who haven’t come onto the path of religiosity yet. This matter is more about us. God has more expectation from us religious people to change. Whoever starts being religious should be ready for the tests through which God will transform him. He should be ready for tests in which God expects him to make spiritual changes. No one can just have faith and then he’s done.
God brings changes with His tests. God does this with everyone. For example, I feel I understand a lot, so God brings up a subject I don’t understand. Then He sends a child to change me. He wants to change me, a stubborn person who is considering other things. So I say, “You little kid want to change me?! Do you know how much experience I have?!” God says, “What a wretched person.” Thus, it is said in the traditions to calculate your deeds constantly while being suspicious about your own carnal self.
When you do a good deed, tell yourself, “Look, I know there are bad things inside me! I’ve certainly done this because of those bad desires. I should find my problem.” God says, “Be ready for any change.” What does it mean to be ready for any change? It means to be ready to accept any fault you may have!
“A pious person does good deeds but he is still worried.” [Imam Ali, Nahj al-Balaghah] “But you just did a good deed,” you tell him. “No, I ruin everything. How could I have done a good deed?! I’m sure there are some nasty traits in me,” he answers. This is how a believer thinks. They have taught us techniques. These are techniques. For you not to become hardened and stubborn, for you not to become rigid and escape from changing, and for you not to object to changing, you should always be ready to change. A person says, “Why? What’s wrong with me?!” Aha! This is the start to becoming wretched. Don’t say, “What’s wrong with me.” Say, “I’m full of faults!”
God calls from above, “Good for those who change, who change others, who accept changing and who seek changes.” I will pray, and you say Ameen. O God make us one of those who accept positive changes. O God make us one of those who accept changing positively. O God don’t make us one of those who have become hardened, ossified, arrogant or stubborn.

Whoever starts being religious should be ready for the tests through which God will transform him. He should be ready for tests in which God expects him to make spiritual changes. Good for those who accept changing and who seek changes.
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A Feeling, which Cannot Be Found Anywhere Else

One should not only know God. One should drink, taste and feel God. One should use God. One should enjoy Him!
The feeling of a tremble in the hearts of a young man and a woman, who are just getting to know and love each other, creates a beautiful trembling in a person. God has given this feeling to human beings for them to experience it and be able to imagine the feeling of meeting God when worshiping Him. But, if this feeling of a young man and woman, two people from the opposite sexes, getting to know each other, is emotional, pure and loving, it will happen one or two times. More than that, it will end up being debauchery, becoming repetitive or be animosity.
But, that other feeling is always fresh. The feeling of worshiping is the most beautiful and exciting feeling that a man or a woman can experience. If you obey the commands of God for a while, the feeling of worshiping will awaken within you. Instead of saying, “I love you. You are my love,” over time, higher words will be born within you. And, this is the peak of flourishing! Similarly, this sentence, “I worship you,” is something higher than loving.
A child needs the embrace of his or her mother. When a child who is fond of his mother is separated from her, he cries in alarm. The child can’t say, “Mother I love you.” It is something higher than loving. There is no opportunity to say, “I love you.” “Mother I...” Done.
The supplications are all like this. If children want to talk to their parents, they can only say one sentence. They say, “Mom, don’t pout with me.” The supplications are full of these same sentences saying, “God don’t be angry. God don’t punish me with Your punishment.” You won’t reach to the feeling of worshiping Him until you say yes to Him and obey His commands. Do we have something higher than the feeling of worshiping? Yes.
In a meeting, I found the courage to talk about this second feeling. The people who were recording my talks during the 30 nights of the month of Ramadan would say the next day, “Sir. We weren’t able to show your speech last night. If you could not use some of these words, we will be able to show it.” I used to say, “This is my subject! What should I do?!” This is the feeling of being owned, being an “Abd,” and being a servant. And the exact meaning, which all the friends from the media told me not to say, is “being a slave.” “God, I want to be Your slave.” “Abd” means slave! “Abd” means being owned!
The Prophet of God (s) is an Abd. He has an owner. He is for God! He is not allowed to talk about tomorrow unless he says, “InShaAllah (If God wants). If my owner wants.” Being an Abd means you are for Him! He determines when your life finishes. And no one can question Him.
Abd means being owned. He knows what He has or hasn’t given you. Does being an Abd mean I am satisfied with God? I have no right to be satisfied or unsatisfied with God! Who am I to be satisfied, or not? I am His! There is a feeling in a person, like a child who wants to be for his or her parents, that makes a person belong to a Master.
The other side of being an Abd (slave), is being a superpower. God says, “Obey Me so that you can be like Me.” You become like God! You become like God! You become like God! You will be able to say, “Be,” and it is. Everything will be turned upside down with your satisfaction! When you frown or become angered, the universe will be destroyed. You will become like God! “In the seat of honour with a most Powerful King.” (Qur’an 54:55) God says, “With Me! Before Me! You will sit on the seat that I am sitting on!” This is the meaning of Abd (slave).
Who doesn’t like to be an Abd? A person who doesn’t like to become a superpower like God! A person who is satisfied with a little power and carnal enjoyments! A person who doesn’t want to have domination over the universe! Such a person doesn’t need to become an Abd. He is satisfied to be like an animal. The feeling of worshiping means that I cannot not know what is going on in the universe. I cannot not be the moderator of the universe! “In the seat of honour with a most Powerful King.” (Qur’an 54:55) God, I want to sit next to You in the director’s room of the universe. I want to be the assistant director.
Obeying God causes a person to flourish. What happens if a person reaches the peak of flourishing? A person will have the feeling of worshiping. If people have the feeling of worshiping, they will die if they don’t have a Master. A person’s fondness is only for God.
One should not only know God, one should feel Him. You won’t gain the feeling of worshiping until you say yes to Him and obey His commands.

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The effect of sincerity on one’s destiny

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Sincerity changes the natural destinies that come to a person. Many calamities won’t happen to a sincere person. A man came to Imam Hadi (as). He said, “They say to not go on trips on certain days and to go on other certain days. There are some recommendations. Which days are good for a trip; which days aren’t?” The Imam (as) told him, “If a person is of our Shi’a and is sincere to us, if he goes to the depths of the sea, he won’t be harmed. If he goes into the desert among wild animals, he won’t be harmed. If enemies from among the Jinn and men surround him, he won’t be harmed. «لَأَمِنُوا مِنْ مَخَاوِفِهِمْ بِوَلاَيَتِهِمْ لَنَا» He will be safe because of our Guardianship. So trust in God. «وَ أَخْلِصْ فِي اَلْوَلاَءِ بِأَئِمَّتِكَ» And be sincere in accepting the Guardianship of the Household of the Prophet (as).«وَ تَوَجَّهْ حَيْثُ شِئْتَ وَ اِقْصِدْ مَا شِئْتَ.» Then go on a trip whenever and wherever you want.”
Won’t a sincere person pass away? Yes, he will. But do you know why General Soleimani could go into the middle of dangers? Why wasn’t he harmed and he could get the work done? The whole world was trying to stop him from being successful, but he was successful. And he wasn’t concerned about them. You know he used to walk on top of an embankment. [He would be told,] “Please come down! The sharpshooters are looking for you!” “There is no danger. Let me go. They can’t do anything.” And he was right.
Friends, if one works sincerely, many calamities won’t come to him. Of course some calamities will come to him, but they are both sweet and sour! Can you accept the Imam’s words? If you are sincere and go into the middle of danger, you won’t be harmed. [One asks,] “So there won’t be any calamities?” Yes, there will be, but those calamities are different from these. Those calamities bring blessings with them. They are different!
For example, if your body is aching due to an accident, won’t this be different from when you get a firm massage? If you are in an accident, you may be crushed. But if you get a firm massage, you’ll pay the person too. The calamities that happen for sincere people are like a firm massage. Don’t be afraid. Calamities won’t come to a sincere person. The Imam (as) has said this.
“So what about the problems that come up?” Aha, you’re talking about the problems that the believers face? That’s like a small, firm massage. It’s good. Actually, it’s better if it hurts at times too. You don’t need to become completely sincere like Ayatollah Bahjat all at once. That’s impossible. [If you tell yourself,] “I want to be sincere from today,” that’s very hard.
Do this instead. Do small, good deeds sincerely and only because of God. Very small deeds. Just for fun! For example, you have a bad desire. Don’t pursue it because of God. God is very precise. Have you seen how precise He is?! God sees you have done a small, good deed because of Him, or you haven’t committed a sin because of Him. Friends, you’ll see the effect. A small, good deed because of God.
Sincerity changes the natural destinies that come to a person.

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You said that if I become a believer I will enjoy more. Why don’t I enjoy my faith yet? Why am I not alive yet? Which of your talents has flourished that everyone else doesn’t have? What is the difference between you and unbelievers? Which kinds of flowers can you smell that they can’t? Which beauties have you realized? What is the difference between you and unbelievers? They should close your eyes and take you to a recently built Mosque and to a Mosque, which people have been praying in for a hundred years. You should feel the difference between them! So your sensory system doesn’t work. Life hasn’t started. Life hasn’t started! Life hasn’t started!
What is the meaning of life? Life (Hayat) in the Quran means to be alive in the full meaning. What if we have a lower level of life? The Quran says that you are dead. To what levels of life have you reached? How alive are you? What do you understand that others don’t? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.
You must have some enjoyments now that others don’t have. You said that if I become a believer I will enjoy more. Why don’t I enjoy my faith yet? Why am I not alive yet? What should we do to enter a superior life? What takes you into this life? The belief that there is such a life. Think and see if it is possible that this life doesn’t exist? If you think and have a little bit of sincerity, you will understand that this life exists.
If you open your eyes and not be “deaf, dumb, and blind,” you will see that some people have this enjoyment right now. If your heart moves a little and you say, “I Wish I could,” that is enough! Your movement started. If you are a little polite, careful, and struggle, you will reach it. You will reach to the top. You can understand that there is a top. It is revolting for a person to be dead. A dead person stinks. When the Quran says that some people are dead, this means that they stink. If a person who has grown spiritually passes by you, I swear to God he will sense your bad smell.
Enter life. Come out from the dead and see what is going on! “Are you seriously saying that everyone should become a gnostic.” “Yes, that is what I am saying. Everyone should become a gnostic. That is what I’m saying!” Who is prohibited from becoming like Ayatollah Bahjat?! Who?! What kind of prohibition is there? Why has Satan made everyone dejected? Which sinful, criminal, drunkard person can’t reach to the top of Gnosticism? Who can’t? Who helped the people who became Gnostics? God. Which one of you does God want to throw away? Which one of you are extra products from the factory of God’s creation? God loves each one of you more than your mothers do. What should we do? What if we don’t reach this enjoyment?
What a good night it is tonight, because I am reading the Nouf Bekali tradition for you. Nouf said, “I saw the Commander of the Faithful (‘a) going quickly.” He saw that Imam Ali (‘a) is going somewhere to be alone. It was midnight. Nouf narrated, “I said, ‘Where are you going my master?’ He said, ‘Nouf, leave me alone. Indeed my yearnings take me to the presence of my beloved One.’ I said, ‘O Commander of the Faithful (‘a), I am afraid of myself.’” See, Nouf is a good person. When he sees the Imam’s (‘a) love, he remembers himself and is afraid that he won’t get to this level.
The tradition continues, “I’m afraid of having greediness or longings for something in this world.” He is afraid of becoming greedy and not being able to reach to this love. Are you listening? The Imam (‘a) asked Nouf, “Why don’t you take refuge with the Supporter of those who are afraid and the Shelter of the Gnostics?”
If you are afraid that you won’t get to this level, go and ask the One Who gives shelter. Nouf narrated, “I said, ‘Show Him to me.’ The Imam (a’) said, ‘The God Who is High and Great.’” Ask God. You’re afraid you won’t reach to this level. Ask God.
Tonight the Imam (‘a) is saying these things to you! Are you afraid of not reaching that level? Ask Him. The Imam (‘a) said, “Go towards Him with all your effort.” Tell God you really want to! Put effort! It is effective. He will come towards you!
The Imam (‘a) continued, “Avoid the worthless things which come into your heart. He will take you to your longings with His grace.” Have hope that He will grant you from His grace. Don’t look at your own incapability. “Go towards Him with all your effort.” Ask for this with all your energy! Tell God you want it right now! “Avoid the worthless things that come into your heart.” Tell your worldly desires to go away and leave you alone with God to see if you can get it from Him tonight. The Imam (‘a) said this is what a person should do.
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Some people don’t even bat an eye!


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The first, most common, important, influential, valuable, effective psychological effect of the verses of the Qur’an is the induction of God's greatness in the heart of His servant. What will be the result of this? The result is one feeling small and humble, and one becoming crushed before the greatness of God. From then on, pleasure, enlightenment, mercy, kindness and everything good can be tasted. If someone reads the Qur'an like this, he won’t abandon the Qur'an anymore and will become fond of it. Try it.
The first of God’s attributes that you must pay attention to in order for your soul to become corrected, and so that light, mercy and the doors to all beauties will be opened to you, is God’s greatness. Do you know what the result of this will be? When you recite the Qur'an, it is as if you are attending a workshop that inspires God’s greatness in your soul!
This is not like listening to a speech, which is about exercising and the human anatomy for instance. They say, “This is an arm muscle. Repeating this move 20 times brings about these changes.” But you have not exercised. But if you actually go to a gym, you will start exercising, sweating and strengthening your muscles. When you recite the Qur’an, it is as if you have gone to a gym and are practicing with God’s attribute of greatness. This is very surprising and important! This is the first action that helps build up the human soul. If this is true, it’s very important. It’s a key point.
The first feeling that one must find with respect to God is feeling humble and small before God. [You say,] “I’m your little one.” After saying this, you start loving God too. Let’s not run before we can walk! We cannot love God unless we become small before Him. We must first become small before Him. We should pay attention to the Qur’an. You prostrate before God [when praying]. Have you noticed this? Have you noticed that you bow down? Have you noticed that you put your face on the dust? Why don’t you bat an eye at this?
What I am talking about has been mentioned in the Qur’an too. “Had We sent down this Qur’an on a mountain, you would certainly have seen it falling down, splitting asunder because of its fear of Allah.” [Qur’an 59:21] What is meant by “falling down, splitting asunder” is that it would have become small and crushed.
Have you seen how when some people are arguing they say, “You’re nothing to me”? This means you’re very small. “Splitting asunder” means it becomes small and crushed. O God, crush us. And who can understand the pleasure of becoming crushed by reciting the verses of the Qur'an? The way to become fond of the Qur’an is to become crushed with it. But sometimes we don’t even bat an eye. An example is when a person is cursed but doesn’t even bat an eye. The Qur’an is crushing you. Be affected by it and see how enjoyable it is.
Write this phrase I’m saying a hundred times tonight! Become crushed with the verses of the Qur’an and see how enjoyable it is. You don’t need to write it more than a hundred times! We will remember it. Become crushed with the verses of the Qur’an and see how enjoyable it is. This does not need much spiritual wayfaring. You will become fond of the Qur’an.

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Have I done something wrong?

“If a person respects himself, his desires will become worthless to him.”
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“If a person respects himself, his desires will become worthless to him.” [Nahj al-Balaghah, wisdom no. 449]
A person who respects himself does not sin. He says, “My dignity does not allow me to sin!” This is such a beautiful tradition. “If a person respects himself…” This is very beautiful. This is amazing. “…his desires will become worthless to him.” He won’t look at them.
You are valuable. You’re the noblest of creatures. Didn’t God say this [in the Qur’an]? You’re the Lord’s deputy on earth. “I am appointing someone as my deputy on earth.” [Qur’an 2:30] Know this. What do you want in your life? You don’t want anything? Even if one is God’s deputy on earth, one is alive due to his love and affection for something. What is it you like?
If a person has a precise self-awareness, he thinks, “I cannot spend myself for less than God and God’s Friends. It’s not worth it. Do you see this?! No, I am worth more than this. These [desires] cannot fill my existence. I am not satisfied with these. These things cannot be my ultimate love. They’re good and interesting. Yes, I understand this. I’m not foolish that I cannot understand that these are enjoyable! They’re all enjoyable. Suppose people cheer for me. Yes, I know that’s enjoyable. But that doesn’t satisfy me. When I look at myself, I see I want something else. These don’t satisfy me.”
Gradually he will understand, “Nothing but the love of God and His Friends and getting close to God can satisfy me.” He becomes busy with God Himself. By looking closely at ourselves, we realize that we do not like these other things. This has been narrated in the Qur’an in another way.
Prophet Ibrahim looked at the stars, “The stars are so glorious!” He then looked at the sun. After seeing each one of these, he said, “This is my Lord.” Then he looked at himself and said, “I do not like the setting ones.” This is self-awareness. “I don’t like the things that go down. These go down.” He found God by reading the book of his own existence.
“If a person respects himself, his desires will become worthless to him.” “No, I am worth more than this. These cannot fill my existence. When I look at myself, I see I want something else.”

O God, I only have You!

Who do you want to rely on besides God? During one month of Ramadan, we had a meeting with friends in this university. I don’t remember how many years ago. The friends were in a good mood. “O God, tonight is the last night of the month of Ramadan. What if You don’t forgive me tonight?” Everyone was clinging to God! In love with God! “Excuse me, why didn’t you have this feeling three nights ago?”
Three nights ago, he felt he had something besides God too. He was saying, “I have both God and three other nights. I don’t need to plead.” On the last night he said, “O God, now I only have You.” This poor person didn’t know that three nights ago he only had God too. If you read Imam Sajjad’s (‘a) supplication, you will see that he is crying in the first night because the month of Ramadan is finishing. Who do you want to rely on besides God?

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Believe me, it’s all yours!

“Call on Me and I will answer you.” (Qur’an 40:60) This is a display of God’s Kindness. “Call on Me and I will answer you.” “Sir! If it is like this, we will become one of the ‘Friends of God’ by just worshiping on the night before the 23rd!” “It is definitely like this.”
But you know, we leave behind whatever God has given us when we are leaving. They say, “Take them. These are yours.” You reply, “They are all mine? No, they aren’t mine. God is not that kind! God only wanted to forgive a few of my sins, and He has.” “But, the rest is yours too. Take it.” “No, God won’t give me this much. What are you saying?!” We don’t take these because we lack faith. He doesn’t withhold His Kindness. He is giving these to you. Are you paying attention? Take them! “No! You’re teasing me! Would God?”
Look! What else should God do tonight? Be careful not to introduce God in a bad way and say, “Three nights I went and cried for God to forgive me.” People may become suspicious and say, “What kind of a God is that?! You went and cried for three nights?!” Don’t tell others in this way! Say, “You weren’t there to see when I started out on the 19th the angels started asking for God’s forgiveness for me with me.”
“So we shouldn’t say, ‘God forgive me’ tonight?” Ask for God’s forgiveness for this, that after God forgives His servant, His servant becomes ashamed. The servant constantly says, “I’m sorry, but I sinned.” Say, “God, forgive me” like this! Imam Sajjad (‘a) has said this. In Sahifah he said, “God, what should I do after You have forgiven me?” Tonight (the 23rd of Ramadan), is after God’s forgiveness.
We leave behind whatever God has given us, when we are leaving. They say, “Take them. These are yours.” You reply, “They are all mine? No, they aren’t mine. God is not that kind.”
[From the series of speeches under the topic of, “How should we believe in God’s Kindness?”

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