Confronting our desires, the best way to strengthen our will

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The Commander of the Faithful, Ali (as), said, “When one’s desires are strong his will is weak.” (Ghurar al-Hikam, vol. 1, p. 588) Someone says, “I have a weak will.” I say, “You follow your desires.” He replies, “I don’t follow my desires! What have I done?” “You don’t need to do anything special. Your desires move you.”
Someone asks me, “I have a weak will. What should I do?” I say, “Your desires are strong.” He says, “I don’t do very bad deeds either.” I say, “There is no need for you to do worthless deeds for your desires to be strengthened. You might be a person who prays, but praying is what you desire. Doing a certain sin may be against your desires, so you don’t commit it. But you still haven’t confronted your desires. You may desire to have a good standing in your neighborhood or in the Mosque. You are willing to harm 100 people in order to protect your good standing. That is why you may backbite in order to protect your good standing. So you follow your desires. You might have just one sin and that is backbiting.”
When a person confronts his desires, his will becomes so strong that he can do amazing things. Let’s talk about Imam Mahdi’s (aj) government. A tradition says, “At the time of the reappearance of the Imam, each believer will have the strength of 40 strong men.” I expected you to call out “Ya Ali” or something like this when I said this! One might say, “I don’t want strength. I want comfort and not power.” But seeking power doesn’t mean trying to dominate over others. It means to become strong!
It is said that a believer is like a firm mountain. There is no difference between men and women in this. A person’s will should be strong. Allameh Tabatabaee said that one should strengthen his will by sitting and focusing on a subject that he likes. Your mind will jump. Bring it back. It’ll jump and you’ll become distracted. Bring it back. Tell yourself, “I want to think about one subject for one hour.”
Have a plan for yourself about the messages you receive. Have a plan and say, “I’ll check my messages once every three hours.” You’ve received shocking news and want to check it now. But tell yourself, “My plan is every three hours.” Don’t worry. Limiting and blaming yourself won’t harm you. Tell yourself, “How dare you! Didn’t I say every three hours?” Be firm. You might think, “But it’s interesting now!” Answer yourself, “Nasty one! I actually want to see what is interesting for me so that I can confront it.” A tradition says, “Your greatest enemy is your own desires.” Make this a part of your lifestyle.
The Commander of the Faithful, Ali (as), said, “When one’s desires are strong his will is weak.” A person’s will becomes so strong when he confronts his desires that he can do amazing things. Strengthen your will.

The way that God suggests for reaching to Him.

Weak, Dependent Children

Don’t cause your children to be weak and dependant with this method of training.

They say that at a certain age, between the ages of five to seven for example, a child understands that his parents aren’t the source of power. They’re not superpowers; so, he looks for power. If a child is trained well, his weakness turns into strength, except before the source of power, Who is God. His dependence turns into independence, except before the source of power, Whom one cannot be independent from, and that source is God.
There is an example I always give, which they taught us in books and in class. For example, if debris falls on a child’s doll, debris that would need ten cranes to remove, the child sincerely asks her father to remove the debris and give her the doll. When the father says, “I can’t,” the child doesn’t believe him, “What do you mean you can’t?!” This is the mental image of a child about his parents. He believes they are superpowers. Gradually, he realizes, “There are some things that mom and dad really can’t do. It looks like they’re not truly superpowers!” The point is that the child becomes distressed.
If this transference of power is done well, which in our analysis happens when praying for a child at the age of seven is emphasized, this is a way of teaching him about the source of power, and the child learns that prayer isn’t for just when you like to pray. Prayer isn’t something at your discretion. You have to pray! No discussion. The child sees that his parents, who are kind in all areas, pray in this way. So, he understands the source of power.
A way to explain it in a bad way is to say the child will understand there is one who is more powerful. He forces his parents too. One of the ways for a child to believe in this divine power is for his parents to tell him, “God has forced us too. We are not in love with God or prayer either. Don’t think that we continuously miss God three times a day. We must stamp our feet like a soldier in front of the Lord of the universe too.” The child will be released from a pressure.
He’ll understand the source of power. Prayer isn’t something at your discretion. You have to pray! No discussion. The child sees that his parents, who are kind in all areas, pray in this way. So, he understands the source of power. What does religion do? Religion has a program for people that takes them to the peak of independence, strength and power. What does God dislike? He dislikes a person depending on other things. If you don’t cause your child to depend on God and pay attention to the source of power, your child will become dependent on worthless things. Your child will become weak and be humiliated. Do you want him to be humiliated?
[From the series of speeches under the topic of “Being Independent, Being Passive.” Muharram 2019.]


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Imam Askari (as) said, “Whoever is humble to his brothers in this world is one of the truthful and a true Shi’a [follower] of Ali bin Abi Talib (as).” Such people are the true Shi’a.
Imam Hasan Askari (as) narrated this story. He wanted to prepare the Shi’a for the occultation. The Shi’a would soon be without an Imam who could be seen. Let’s see his advice. Imam Askari narrated, “Two people – a father and his son – were the Commander of the Faithful’s (as) guests. Imam Ali (as) stood up and had them sit down. He ordered for food to be brought. Qanbar was his servant. After they finished eating, Qanbar brought a dish and a wooden container of water.” In honoring a guest in the past, it was common when they wanted to eat that they would pour water on the guests’ hands, since they ate with their hands.
[The Imam (as) continued,] “When the Commander of the Faithful (as) saw that Qanbar brought water, he got up quickly and took the container. He wanted to pour the water himself instead of Qanbar. The guest knew the Imam’s status. So he threw himself on the ground. He said, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, you want to pour water on my hands? God is watching. Ali (as) pour water on my hands?!’ The Imam (as) replied, ‘Sit down and wash your hands. Yes, the Almighty God is watching you. [What’s wrong with this?] He is watching you and your brother who is not different or superior to you and who is serving you. [What’s wrong with this?]’” They were like this. The Imam of the Imams was like this.
So the man sat down. Then, the Imam wanted to pour water on his hands. This next part is Imam Hasan Askari’s (as) special gift to you from this story. So the Commander of the Faithful (as) wanted to pour water on his guest’s hands for him to wash. The man threw himself on the ground and refused. But the Imam said, “Sit down. I’m gaining rewards. It’s fine.” Before pouring water the Imam (as) said, “By my right on you, which you know…” Know what? “The right of Imamate that you are aware of and because of which you are humble. By my right on you.” O Imam, what do you want to say? “Wash your hands comfortably in the same way as if it’s Qanbar pouring the water. By my right on you. You are humble and know my right. By my right on you, be comfortable. Let me pour water on your hands.”
It seems the guest was shy. He wanted to hold his hands just a little under the water to have obeyed the Imam. But the Imam (as) said, “Think that it is Qanbar who is pouring the water. Sit comfortably and let me pour the water.” Then what did Imam Hasan Askari (as) say? He said, “Whoever follows Ali (as) like this is a true Shi’a.”
O God, grant us the opportunity to serve our brothers in faith.

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Have you looked at Ashura from this angle before?

A cartoonist suddenly changes how you look at a phenomenon. A graphic artist changes your outlook all at once. A painter changes your outlook all at once. A photographer changes your outlook all at once. A filmmaker or a maker of documentaries change it in another way.
Before artists have a talent in expressing something, painting, or drawing, they have a talent in how they choose to look at things. These eulogies that you enjoy give you a way of looking and say, “Look from this angle.” You cry and enjoy it. The readers of eulogies and those who read very nice poems…
Have you seen their way of looking at these scenes? What beautiful ways there are of looking at these things, which haven’t been used yet. We are so dependent upon art to change our outlook and to help us find a correct outlook. It is very important how artists look at tragedies. Beauty is created from this. Actually, what makes an artist powerful in conveying his or her own view to others is his or her outlook. Sometimes that outlook itself makes a person an artist.
How do you look at Hazrat Sakinah (‘a)? Have you seen that some girls are like this that they are very cheerful, articulate, honest and frank, even though the people around them may be bothered by what they say. They are very inquisitive and restless. They can’t stop themselves from saying what they want. They bring cheer to any meeting. At any gathering, without doing anything bad, they make the gathering warmer.
Hazrat Sakinah (‘a) is the one, who called out when Imam Husayn (‘a) was near the Alqamah Stream, “Where is my uncle Abbas?” Hazrat Sakinah (‘a) is the one, who called out, “Come down Dad,” when he wanted to go. I think the older people were biting their lips and thinking, “Sakinah don’t say that and don’t break your father’s heart.” She said directly, “Dad, can you take us to Medina first and then go into the battlefield?”
Sakinah is the one who came to her aunt Zaynab and said, “Auntie, whose body is this that you are talking to?” Sakinah talked with her father in such a way that Husayn’s cut throat began to answer her. This girl can’t be quieted. Sakinah is a busy, cheerful, active girl.
From what time on was there no longer any news from her? She had this vibrancy all along the way. They whipped this girl so much that they made her quiet. The other women would hide this vibrant girl in the beginning so that these dishonourable men wouldn’t notice this vibrant girl. I think she changed when three-year-old Ruqayah left this world from the ruins. Sakinah, who helped with the children very much, wasn’t seen to be cheerful anymore.
How do you look at Hazrat Sakinah? She was the vibrant girl whom they made quiet and depressed. I haven’t given you any new information! But, when you put these next to each other, you say, “Yes, that’s true!”
What an opportunity these artists have! How they can play with people’s way of seeing things. This is their job, if they want to and have the ability. If they have a correct outlook, and then God gives them the talent, they can change your and my outlook.
There are still opportunities for new stories to be told about Karbala. There are still opportunities for new images to be drawn about Karbala.

See God’s kindness in tribulations

When God wants to give hardships, He does it softly.

How can a person understand God’s kindness? See God’s kindness in this point that when He wants to give hardships, He does so softly. He is careful. God gives suffering to His servants in such a beautiful way, like a mother who wants to give an injection to her child. God shakes.
“God shakes?! Up until now you talked about God being very firm.”
Yes, I used to talk about God being very firm, because those who do not want to see these things should come to their senses a little. According to a tradition, God says, “I never hesitate to do something except in one case.” But God doesn’t hesitate about whether He should do something or not! God, hesitating is meaningless for You! God says, “I hesitate in one case. That is when I want to take a believer’s life and he doesn’t like it. I say, ‘Shall I do it? But he doesn’t like it. He’s afraid. I shouldn’t? It’s to his benefit. They’ll really welcome him here. But he doesn’t like it. What should I do?!’” O my Lord! I will mention another small example of God’s kindness.
For example, they were going to send a tribulation for you to grow. They wanted to give you this tribulation to test you, for a trial, or due to a sin that you had committed. Overall, you will grow with it. Then you do a good deed. For example, you visit your family, repent or give charity. This goes into the testing system. So they decide to remove this tribulation.
But at times you do all these. After going into the testing system, they say “No” and don’t remove the tribulation. But in some cases, the system says to remove a tribulation. It is mentioned in the traditions that after removing that tribulation the Almighty God says, “My angels, if We had given that tribulation to this servant, how much would We have rewarded him?” For example, they say, “1,000 rewards! Because he was supposed to have a bad accident. So we would have given him at least 1,000 rewards.”
God says, “Now that We have removed that tribulation, what about his reward?” I’m acting this tradition out as a play. The angels say, “The balance is even now. We haven’t given him that tribulation for him to receive 1,000 rewards.” God says, “We didn’t give him the hardship, but write the reward for him.” They say, “But…!” God says, “I am God. A King is expected...” When God wants to give hardships, He first looks at your capacity. Can this person tolerate it?
Along with your capacity, He gives the needed facilities too. For example, He puts bandages next to you exactly at that time. Or you want to go to a doctor since your hand is injured. Exactly then, your friend comes to your door [so he helps you]. God says, “I don’t want My servant to be bothered.” When God wants to give hardships, He does it softly. When God wants to give hardships, He does it kindly. I ask you to see God’s kindness in hardships. Nothing is as valuable as understanding God’s kindness.

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It was then that Abbas (as) stood still.

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Aba al-Fazl (as) came to say goodbye to Husayn (as). My I be sacrificed for how you’re crying. How did Husayn (as) use to show his affection to Abbas (as)? When calling him, Husayn (as) used to say, “May I be sacrificed for you.” He loved him very much. I don’t know how Zaynab (as) used to call Abbas (as). These were their private conversations. Imam Husayn, his Imam, said, “May I be sacrificed for you.” Zaynab was his sister and sisters are more compassionate, tender-hearted and loving. She was a sister and full of affection.
For example, consider when they were on the way. It was God’s mercy that detailed memories of this caravan while travelling to Karbala have not been recorded. [It’s as if they say,] “Why do you want to know?” For example, they haven’t recorded Zaynab saying, “My Abbas, get Ali Asghar. Hug Ruqayya for a minute.” I want to say, “O Aba al-Fazl, don’t go into the battlefield. Don’t go. I plead you.”
Abbas came to say goodbye. Husayn (as) said, “Do you want to leave Husayn alone?” Alas for Abbas’s sorrows and sufferings. O Abbas, go and see what you can do for Husayn (as). You will have to become a martyr. But at least bring this waterskin back with some water so that you can relieve your sorrow a little by doing this. Abbas had so much hope and picked up that waterskin so confidently that the children felt less thirsty. They told each other, “Our uncle is going to bring water.” “Did you see how our uncle picked up the waterskin?! That’s it. Rabab, hold onto Ali Asghar. Water is coming. The way our uncle picked up the waterskin shows that we’ll have water soon.” When the enemies would beat Husayn’s children while traveling to Damascus, they would call for their uncle! How could they tell the children that their uncle would not return anymore?! He picked up the waterskin so confidently that everyone thought the same.
Abbas (as) expected the same. There is a sentence in history books that shows Aba al-Fazl was surprised himself too. When his hands were cut off, he didn’t care. But as soon as an arrow struck his waterskin, it is said that Abbas stood still. O Abbas, you didn’t expect this? It was then that he begged God to take him [due to his shame].

The Joy of Reciting the Holy Qur’an

What should we do to see God’s Kindness? One of God’s responses is, “My Kindness is free for you in the Qur’an, in the words of the Holy Qur’an. Recite the Qur’an, see My Kindness, taste it, take it, for your need for My Kindness to awaken.” A person who recites the Qur’an a lot and correctly, establishes this relationship.
I will read a tradition for you about this. It has been narrated in Misbah al-Shari’a that Imam Sadiq, (‘a) said, “A person who recites the Qur’an needs three things.” When you are reciting the Qur’an, have three things for this beautiful happening to occur for you. “A humble heart…” Come to God with a heart full of humbleness.
This means you aren’t in love yet, and haven’t understood God’s love. That’s fine. Go to God with obedience and fear. Go to Him in a polite way. The narration continues, “His body must be relaxed.” What does this mean? He doesn’t need to relieve himself. He isn’t too full. He is not too sleepy, or too hungry. I mean, your body shouldn’t trouble you. Are you comfortable now?
“He must find a place to be alone” to recite the Qur’an. Then, what should he do next? “When he starts reciting the Qur’an, while his heart is full of humbleness towards God, the cursed Satan will flee from him. He has released himself from other things, started reciting with his heart, and no factor is troubling him, to stop him from benefiting from Qur’an’s light and its blessings. Then, he sits in an empty place, and seeks seclusion from the people, while having a humble heart and a relaxed body. His heart and being will become fond of the Almighty God (when he recites the Qur’an).”
This means that when a person recites the Qur’an, he will see God’s Kindness and Grace. A person should be somewhat calm, make his heart a bit ready, remove troubling factors, and remove what comes into his mind - the unimportant things and the problems. Problems enter a person’s life to see whether he loses his concentration.
These are the world’s games. The problems are brought up one by one. Joys and tragedies come to see whether you lose your concentration, or not. Try not to lose your concentration. The philosophy of joys and tragedies is for a person not to lose his concentration. That is when you will enjoy reciting the Qur’an!
What kind of enjoyment is higher than this? I don’t know whether the joy of reciting the Qur’an is higher or the joy of becoming a martyr. Aba Abdillah al-Husayn (‘a) said it very precisely that the philosophy of his Ashura movement was dignity. “I won’t submit to anyone.” He himself and all of his beloved ones were cut into pieces. Their families were taken captive. “I won’t submit to anyone.”
But on the day of Tasu’a, he asked his enemies for one thing. To recite the Qur’an. He said, “My dear Abbas, go and tell the enemy to give us a respite for one extra night. My dear Abbas you know how much I love reciting the Qur’an. I want to recite the Qur’an for one more night.” Aba Abdillah al-Husayn (‘a) really enjoyed reciting the Qur’an. He needed this kindness from God. He wasn’t able to easily abandon this kindness from God.
Perhaps the only thing, which a person is able to delay martyrdom for, is reciting the Qur’an. Because when you love to become a martyr, what do you want to happen for you? Do you want God’s Kindness? So, come and see what God is doing with you with the Qur’an. Feel His love.
Qur’an is the words of God’s Kindness. “Recite the Qur’an, see My Kindness, taste it, take it, for your need for My Kindness to awaken.”
[From the series of speeches under the topic of, “How should we believe in God’s Kindness?” Session No. 6]

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“If a person respects himself, his desires will become worthless to him.”
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“If a person respects himself, his desires will become worthless to him.” [Nahj al-Balaghah, wisdom no. 449]
A person who respects himself does not sin. He says, “My dignity does not allow me to sin!” This is such a beautiful tradition. “If a person respects himself…” This is very beautiful. This is amazing. “…his desires will become worthless to him.” He won’t look at them.
You are valuable. You’re the noblest of creatures. Didn’t God say this [in the Qur’an]? You’re the Lord’s deputy on earth. “I am appointing someone as my deputy on earth.” [Qur’an 2:30] Know this. What do you want in your life? You don’t want anything? Even if one is God’s deputy on earth, one is alive due to his love and affection for something. What is it you like?
If a person has a precise self-awareness, he thinks, “I cannot spend myself for less than God and God’s Friends. It’s not worth it. Do you see this?! No, I am worth more than this. These [desires] cannot fill my existence. I am not satisfied with these. These things cannot be my ultimate love. They’re good and interesting. Yes, I understand this. I’m not foolish that I cannot understand that these are enjoyable! They’re all enjoyable. Suppose people cheer for me. Yes, I know that’s enjoyable. But that doesn’t satisfy me. When I look at myself, I see I want something else. These don’t satisfy me.”
Gradually he will understand, “Nothing but the love of God and His Friends and getting close to God can satisfy me.” He becomes busy with God Himself. By looking closely at ourselves, we realize that we do not like these other things. This has been narrated in the Qur’an in another way.
Prophet Ibrahim looked at the stars, “The stars are so glorious!” He then looked at the sun. After seeing each one of these, he said, “This is my Lord.” Then he looked at himself and said, “I do not like the setting ones.” This is self-awareness. “I don’t like the things that go down. These go down.” He found God by reading the book of his own existence.
“If a person respects himself, his desires will become worthless to him.” “No, I am worth more than this. These cannot fill my existence. When I look at myself, I see I want something else.”

No judging, no blaming, no backbiting, no suspicion!

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Someone says, “I want to move away from our religious neighborhood. I’ll move to a nonreligious neighborhood where no one cares about what others do. When you get up in the morning, neighbors won’t talk about whether you pray. Here, our neighbor came and said, ‘Your light isn’t on in the mornings. Don’t you pray?!’ ‘That doesn’t have anything to do with you! Maybe we pray in the dark.’ Everyone is judging each other. In our city, everyone expects others. Everyone is attacking each other based on their imaginations.”
One of the factors that causes people to become infatuated with western culture is this. When they go to western countries, they see what we are discussing in these sessions. This is called “acknowledging people’s differences.” They see this in the west. They see this in the culture of western people. Acknowledging people’s differences brings calm. They say, “I love this calmness.” Why? Actually, you should go to a place where everyone cares about you and helps you! This is being sophisticated, not what you see in western culture where people don’t care about each other due to their selfishness. But a religious person isn’t selfish. He cares due to his wanting to serve people and his being affectionate and kind! Why shouldn’t he care about others?
Our religion has said this too. Why should you search for this in the west? Why should you become infatuated with western culture, my dear? It’s said that if you see a wrong behavior, think positively about the person as much as is possible. For example, “I saw this husband and wife fighting and cursing each other.” Say, “They were practicing to see if they can curse someone! They were joking!” “No, he was really angry! He broke a glass too.” [Say,] “He was acting to see if he knows how to act. The husband and wife wanted to see if they are able to break a glass like in films. It was for fun. What’s wrong with that?!”
A tradition says, “A believer thinks good thoughts about others as much as is possible.” If it wasn’t possible to think good about him, you shouldn’t look at him as a sinner the next morning. Why? He certainly repented last night. He had time until morning. He sinned yesterday. You shouldn’t judge him today. We have some rules in our religion, which bring calmness more than what exists in the west. We are more western than western people [in these cases]! No one should pry into what others do. No one should make a bad judgement about others. No one should backbite. No one should be suspicious about others. A believer should think good thoughts about others. If a believer acts according to his beliefs, his behavior is even more sophisticated than theirs is!
Some people told Imam Khomeini, “We should fire all the judges who were working during Shah’s time.” Imam Khomeini said, “No, why do you want to fire them?” They said, “As a rule, they aren’t believers!” Imam Khomeini said, “According to which rule?” Someone wanted to say something to finish it up. A judge should be just. Just [in terms of religion] means he has to be pious and not do sins openly. So he said, “Some of these judges shave their beards and you have forbidden this.” Imam Khomeini immediately responded, “I say it’s forbidden. Maybe there is another Religious Authority who says it’s not forbidden.”
This is being sophisticated. Let me give you a higher example. A rich man went from Qazvin to Najaf Ashraf to give his Khoms tax to Imam Khomeini. He related, “I wanted to give my Khoms and he asked me, ‘Is this your yearly Khoms?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Who were you giving it to before?’” Imam Khomeini guessed that he had been giving his Khoms tax to another Religious Authority and had recently changed. The man responded, “I used to give it to Mr. …” who wasn’t very well-known. Imam Khomeini said, “Perhaps he has plans about how to use your Khoms and wants to give it to the seminary students. Or he is doing a cultural activity and is counting on receiving your Khoms every year. If you don’t give your Khoms to him this year, it will harm his plans. Give your Khoms to that same person this year too.”
This is being sophisticated, not what you see in western culture where people don’t care about each other due to their selfishness. But a religious person isn’t selfish. He cares due to his wanting to serve people and his being affectionate and kind! Why shouldn’t he care about others?
A person says, “I’m more comfortable there because no one cares what I do.” Why? Actually, you should go to a place where everyone cares about you and helps you! This is what will captivate the west. It’s the culture of religion. The world is waiting to see this. You see a small example of this in Arbaeen.

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