Sayyid Mohammad Baqir Qazwini || Bridging The Generation Gap || MGC 2019

15 Bekeken· 24/07/31

Muslim Group of USA and Canada
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The Muslim Group of USA and Canada proudly presents its 36th Annual Conference | A Return to Family

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Transcript

[0:05]so one of the most difficult things for any parent is understanding

[0:09]the unique challenges and issues that confront their children this is particularly

[0:14]true of parents whose children grow up in a society and culture

[0:17]that is foreign to them as is the case with many muslim

[0:22]parents in the west in order to help us understand some of

[0:25]the factors behind the generation gap that separates parents and their children

[0:29]and how to overcome it we are honored to be joined by

[0:34]saeed mohammed bakr al-khaz muhammad bakker studied over 10 years at the

[0:37]seminary of kom and he completed a ba in sociology from the

[0:41]university of michigan in ann arbor he is currently based at the

[0:46]islamic institute of america in dearborn heights michigan and teaches core islamic

[0:51]subjects at the al hajjah islamic seminary please help me welcome him

[0:57]with a loud i begin in the name of the almighty god

[1:11]the compassionate the merciful the one who has created everything in utmost

[1:20]perfection and may the peace and blessings of the almighty god be

[1:26]upon his pure and beloved messenger the peak of his creation the

[1:31]symbol of humanity the holy prophet muhammad and his immaculate progeny of

[1:45]the albeit peace be upon them especially the leader of our time

[1:50]the awaited savior al-imam al-m may allah hasten his reappearance and make

[1:59]us all amongst the sincere and dedicated servants respected brothers and sisters

[2:08]assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi allah is the one who created you then allah

[2:43]subhanahu wa ta'ala will take your life but then there are those

[2:51]who live into their old age allah takes them to an abject

[2:57]humiliating age such that after knowing they no longer know anything but

[3:06]these are the signs of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala illuminate your hearts

[3:13]and minds with a very loud salawat allah the holy quran reminds

[3:24]us that one of the greatest gifts that allah subhanahu ta'ala has

[3:29]endowed us with is our family and children they adorn and decorate

[3:40]our lives as allah subhanahu ta'ala states in the holy quran what

[3:48]are the decorations the adornments of this life wealth and children i

[3:55]remember once i was in new york i saw a man who

[4:00]could not have children for 16 years since he had gotten married

[4:05]tried every procedure i can see the sadness and the depression in

[4:11]his face he told me say it there's no light in my

[4:14]house it's dim it's dark after 16 years we cannot have children

[4:21]now later allah did bless him with children and i saw him

[4:26]a year later his face has changed you can even detect it

[4:30]in the face subhanallah the holy quran considers children a great gift

[4:38]a means of adornment and decoration for our life but this same

[4:42]quran which says also warns us and tells us know that the

[5:00]wealth and the children that you have are a means of fitnah

[5:03]or a means of trial and indeed the greatest area in which

[5:11]allah subhanahu ta'ala will try us is through our children and hence

[5:16]we find prophet ibrahim alaihissalam this great prophet of allah he was

[5:22]obsessed with the idea of having righteous children look at his prayers

[5:29]the holy quran captures for us the prayers of prophet ibrahim most

[5:33]of his prayers have to do with his children rabbi jalani make

[5:41]me amongst those who establish regular prayers but also my thuriya my

[5:50]children when allah subhanahu ta'ala gave him the good news that he

[5:53]is an imam nasi imam what's the first thing he asked for

[5:58]imagine if god declares you as a universal leader many things you

[6:05]will ask god follow-up questions right what's this position tell me more

[6:10]about it how did i achieve it how did i earn it

[6:13]how long is it going to continue he asked one follow-up question

[6:17]what did he ask allah anyone from my progeny will achieve the

[6:24]honor of being an imam like i did so we find that

[6:30]prophet ibrahim alaihi salaam realized the significance of having a good progeny

[6:36]because he realized this is the eternal investment long after we're gone

[6:42]and we can no longer offer new deeds good deeds our progeny

[6:49]till the day of judgment can benefit us every time they offer

[6:54]a good deed you receive a share of it that's why prophet

[6:58]ibrahim alaihissalam was obsessed with his progeny because he knew the significance

[7:03]of raising a good generation a good progeny now my dear brothers

[7:08]and sisters this leads us to our discussion this morning one of

[7:13]the great challenges that we have today is the generational gap between

[7:19]the parents the older generation and the children the younger generation there

[7:26]seems to be a disconnect there's lack of communication oftentimes parents do

[7:33]not fully understand the challenges their children are going through or if

[7:37]they do they do not know how to properly address those challenges

[7:42]and we also have children in the younger generation not appreciating the

[7:48]role of their parents not knowing how to communicate with their parents

[7:52]not knowing how to address problems that arise in the family and

[7:59]this has created a lot of tension in our families many families

[8:07]break up because of this point now before we examine some practical

[8:12]steps to address the generational gap an important question to ask here

[8:19]is why do we have the generational gap in the first place

[8:21]why is there a gap there are two or three primary reasons

[8:29]the first reason why we have a generation gap between the parents

[8:34]and their children is simply because the parents had different circumstances than

[8:40]their children they grew up in different circumstances and for muslims here

[8:47]in the west you find that most families are immigrant families they

[8:51]immigrated in the last few decades so oftentimes the parents the grandparents

[8:57]they grew up in a different country so they had different cultural

[9:02]expectations they had different economic conditions many parents who immigrated to the

[9:10]us and canada they fled war-torn countries they were escaping economic hardships

[9:17]they came here looking for better opportunities so their challenges growing up

[9:23]were different now our generation the younger ones they have a different

[9:28]set of challenges automatically you have a recipe for a gap here

[9:33]automatically you have the conditions for a disconnect between the generations they

[9:40]went through completely different circumstances so it's expected that you have a

[9:48]gap i think if families simply understand this fundamental point it will

[9:52]really help us come to a solution because oftentimes when we have

[9:59]this gap we get frustrated we take it personally just understand it's

[10:02]normal it's a given that there's going to be some disconnect because

[10:08]the challenges are simply different you know i've seen frustrated parents who've

[10:12]come here from different conditions you know overseas and they come here

[10:18]it's the land of opportunity they work hard they want their children

[10:22]to be serious to study hard and work hard and sometimes they

[10:26]see their children okay they want to have fun they want to

[10:30]enjoy themselves they spend a lot of time on entertainment and that

[10:33]frustrates them they look at their children and they tell them do

[10:37]you know what we had to go through to bring you here

[10:40]and here you have so many opportunities around you you're not taking

[10:47]advantage of those opportunities but this is a reality your kids did

[10:52]not grow up where you grew up so they will take for

[10:55]granted many of the blessings that they enjoy now many of the

[11:00]luxuries which you didn't have the gadgets and the toys and the

[11:02]accessories and the traveling that you didn't have when you were growing

[11:06]up your kids are having them now so obviously they're going to

[11:11]take it for granted this is the first reason why we have

[11:16]a generation gap because the circumstances are different it's natural understanding that

[11:24]this is natural will ease the tension will allow us not to

[11:28]take problems personally that's the first factor the second factor my dear

[11:35]brothers and sisters is the natural process of aging when you grow

[11:41]older your perspective on life changes your outlook changes your priorities change

[11:49]it's a given the way that you look at life now is

[11:53]very different than the way that you looked at life 15 years

[11:58]ago or 15 years from now i've spoken to many teenagers and

[12:04]one thing that frustrates them is that they think their parents are

[12:08]illogical my parents when they deal with an issue they're being illogical

[12:14]i don't understand it why are they seeing it this way i

[12:17]usually tell those teenagers i tell them listen if you were as

[12:22]old as your parents if you were 45 and 50 believe me

[12:25]you would see things the way they are seeing it they're seeing

[12:29]it as a parent you're a teenager it's a given that their

[12:34]outlook on life is going to be different once you begin to

[12:38]grow older you'll realize where your parents are coming from simply know

[12:45]that simply understand that and through the process of aging allah subhanahu

[12:49]ta'ala is also trying us you know surat al-isra that beautiful verse

[12:54]which talks about the true ibadah that allah subhanahu ta'ala has commanded

[13:01]that we worship him number one right to be good to our

[13:08]parents what example does allah subhanahu ta'ala give us in that verse

[13:13]allah subhanahu ta'ala mentions this aging process imma when one of them

[13:25]or two of your parents they reach old age why does allah

[13:31]subhanahu ta'ala specifically mention old age here because allah knows that's where

[13:37]the challenges are going to come from that's when old people in

[13:41]the eyes of the youngsters are going to act irrational illogical they

[13:46]frustrate you they humiliate you i've even seen adult children where they

[13:51]tell me say it i can't take it anymore my parents humiliate

[13:54]me they put me on the spot and i can't take this

[14:00]anymore allah mentions this particular example when he commands us to be

[14:04]good to our parents allah says when they reach that old age

[14:07]and you think they're being illogical they're frustrating you they're humiliating you

[14:13]accept that humiliation but properly we'll examine how for those of you

[14:22]who know arabic what does comes from the same root word as

[14:28]villa what does dilla mean humiliation allah says lower the wings of

[14:36]humility for them yes in trying to respect them sometimes you might

[14:41]feel humiliated but allah says that's exactly what i want that's your

[14:46]test prayer anyone can pray going to hajj anyone can go to

[14:51]hajj it's not the biggest achievement on earth but once you feel

[14:55]humiliated by your parents and they're being illogical and old yet you

[14:59]maintain respect and integrity not anyone can do that that's true ibadah

[15:04]that's the true trial that you will pass so allah mentions this

[15:11]age factor so we have this generation gap as a second reason

[15:18]because of the age difference so it's a given so parents when

[15:22]you see your children not understanding where you're coming from don't quickly

[15:27]get frustrated just realize when you were in their age you saw

[15:30]the world differently let them see the world differently that's fine don't

[15:34]expect them to see the world as adults they're just living the

[15:42]course of their life so this is the second factor the third

[15:47]factor my dear brothers and sisters that leads to the generation gap

[15:53]is our technology that is inducing rapid changes on our lives and

[16:02]we are seeing the younger generation they are growing up being affected

[16:08]by this technology technology is making life very rapid in its pace

[16:13]now you have this culture of instant gratification where you want everything

[16:20]done instantaneously these days kids are going up with this attitude towards

[16:26]life i want things done instantaneously and if i go online and

[16:29]i order something i want it next day shipping i can't wait

[16:34]an extra day and sometimes you'll pay that extra money to get

[16:39]the items shipped faster right the amazon prime generation we want things

[16:45]at our fingertips and so you see the younger generation that's how

[16:50]they are they're driven by the culture of instant gratification and sometimes

[16:55]this frustrates parents parents like to say take things easily take it

[16:59]step by step let's think about it and sometimes they take months

[17:04]and months just thinking about something right and that frustrates the children

[17:08]when they go to their parents they want something they need to

[17:10]discuss and the next step in their lives they want instant results

[17:14]because they grew up in this culture of instant gratification everything has

[17:19]to be done instantaneously you know these days you sit in your

[17:22]house you you know desire that coffee just go on doordash click

[17:29]on what you want and within 30 minutes it's at the front

[17:33]of your doorstep they are living this era parents just need to

[17:38]understand that living in an era of this type of technology comes

[17:43]with a price that's natural don't get too frustrated realize this is

[17:49]normal and there's a way of course to bring a solution but

[17:51]just realize this is normal oftentimes if we keep in mind that

[17:57]this gap between our generations it's bound to happen it's normal it

[18:02]decreases a lot of the tension it removes the bitterness and it

[18:06]allows you to objectively work for a solution so my dear brothers

[18:12]and sisters having stated the three primary causes of this generation gap

[18:18]now we'll try to examine the solutions and we'll try to make

[18:24]this session interactive where we will want to hear your responses the

[18:27]challenges that you're experiencing or some methods that you have used and

[18:33]it has proven uh to work to be very effective with your

[18:38]generation so let's start my dear brothers and sisters by examining that

[18:46]technological factor when we look at our children today we see that

[18:51]they rely more on technology and they rely less on face-to-face human

[18:58]interaction most of the interaction the kids are having these days for

[19:04]a lot of families is happening where it's happening on social media

[19:09]it's happening on their gadgets their tablets their ipads now for a

[19:15]lot of parents from the older generation they don't like that that

[19:20]frustrates them there is less of human interaction parents need to realize

[19:25]that they should put some framework some conditions for their children but

[19:30]they need to somehow reach to their children through technology you know

[19:35]what it does it allows our children to think that we know

[19:40]and we understand them they start to trust us i remember there

[19:45]was this frustrated father who had a six-year-old son he couldn't connect

[19:51]with him you know the son he thought my dad is from

[19:55]the middle ages he doesn't know anything about my life and what

[19:59]i care about how many of you remember like two three years

[20:02]ago kids were addicted to this gay minecraft right now for us

[20:08]parents that game minecraft is the lousiest game the graphics are terrible

[20:14]you don't know what's going on why kids love it it's frustrating

[20:18]you would never want to play a game like that as an

[20:22]adult now with these newer games roblox and what have you okay

[20:25]the graphics are at least a little bit better but minecraft that

[20:28]father would say it's a disaster say it i tried to sit

[20:30]and you know figure out how this works it frustrates me i

[20:36]don't get it why is my son addicted to it i told

[20:39]him one day sit next to it son tell him baba teach

[20:42]me how to play minecraft me asking my son to teach me

[20:48]i'm a father i should have authority i told him that's not

[20:53]how you reach to your son it's okay sit next to him

[20:56]spend a few minutes show interest in what he's doing you'll gain

[21:01]his trust he wasn't too happy about it but he didn't have

[21:08]a choice there was no way he was he could connect to

[21:11]his son so he said i did try what you said i

[21:13]went i sat next to him i told him baba teach me

[21:17]how do you play this you know gay minecraft i'm interested he

[21:20]looked at me with disbelief are you serious really is this some

[21:25]sort of joke or a plot to take my ipad i told

[21:29]him no i seriously would like to play this game he's like

[21:34]the happiness i saw in his face i had not seen it

[21:38]in a long time i sat next to him he taught me

[21:41]step by step with so much passion he was so happy to

[21:44]show me how to play this game i played with him for

[21:48]20 minutes i earned his trust after that i told the bible

[21:53]let's get up and pray he came with happiness to pray see

[21:56]the approach we have to understand that our children are communicating through

[22:01]modern technology through these gadgets through social media reach out to them

[22:08]through the same method that they're using it's very effective you can

[22:12]gain their trust and then you could put proper conditions but for

[22:16]us to be stuck in the old method rejecting these new forms

[22:20]is not going to help i remember there was this frustrated mother-in-law

[22:25]she was really frustrated with her daughter-in-law well you know it's typical

[22:30]to have that type of tension and frustration but she said something

[22:35]that really caught my attention she told me say it she is

[22:40]so disrespectful that sometimes when it's aid or there's a celebration instead

[22:45]of coming and visiting me in person or calling me she actually

[22:49]sends me a whatsapp message shame on her you don't send your

[22:54]mother-in-law a whatsapp message what am i a teenager your age for

[22:56]me just for you to send me a message i told her

[23:00]come on you're taking this too far what's the big deal if

[23:03]she sent you a whatsapp message no no no you know from

[23:06]where i come from my cultural background that's hype you don't send

[23:10]someone who's 20 years older than you a whatsapp message you properly

[23:13]call them or you come and greet them see tension because of

[23:18]something that really is not that important she was taking it personally

[23:23]she thought that her daughter-in-law was disrespecting her but she wasn't she's

[23:27]just sending her mother-in-law a message happy aid that's all there's nothing

[23:32]wrong with that but because she couldn't understand this gap between the

[23:38]generations she took things personally so my dear brothers and sisters the

[23:41]approach is extremely important many times if you communicate with children in

[23:50]a manner that they can understand you will earn their trust but

[23:58]it requires that we become creative it requires an element of creativity

[24:03]i'll share with you this fascinating example two months ago a father

[24:09]came to me and he shared his experience with his teenage daughter

[24:14]he told me say my teenage daughter is addicted to her phone

[24:18]literally 24 7 she's on her phone when we want to pray

[24:25]she's not interested she's always on her phone so i tried to

[24:28]figure out a solution for this problem one day this idea came

[24:34]to my mind so it was the time for salah i asked

[24:37]my children to come and pray together which by the way is

[24:40]a beautiful thing to do in the masjid but don't restrict salat

[24:45]to the masjid only pray jama'a at home with your family in

[24:50]the morning before you go to school and work pray jamaat together

[24:53]you know how beautiful that is that brings barakan blessings to your

[24:57]family it's a moment where the entire family gathers for a few

[25:03]minutes it's beautiful make it a point where you have regular saratel

[25:06]jamaa in your homes so he said i gathered my family she

[25:11]came but she wasn't interested because she felt she had to pray

[25:14]with us but i could not sense any interest so she came

[25:19]before we started prayer i told her something that was shocking to

[25:24]her i told her bible i have a suggestion to you today

[25:28]instead of doing sujud prostrating on the ground i want you to

[25:32]prostrate on your iphone take your iphone and i want you to

[25:41]do sujud on it with a shocking face she told me what

[25:44]do you mean we're praying to allah not the iphone i said

[25:48]well i don't think so seems like you pray to the iphone

[25:51]more than allah because when you get that notification on your iphone

[25:55]you jump to answer it it cannot wait a second if we're

[26:00]at the dinner table and god forbid some one of your friends

[26:05]sends you a message or your loved one sends you a message

[26:06]not only you jump your heart jumps with you have you seen

[26:10]those people when there's a notification even sometimes you know they put

[26:15]their phone on silent but when they sense it vibrates they jump

[26:20]they have to see the notification i told her when it comes

[26:24]to your phone you're quick to respond to it but every single

[26:28]day allah five times sends you a notification at the time of

[26:31]adan you don't care does it move you so why pray to

[26:37]god pray to your phone you're more attached and addicted to your

[26:41]phone than allah subhanahu wa ta'ala it's like i saw the look

[26:46]on her face now he was not being aggressive it's a creative

[26:49]way to talk to her he said i saw the look on

[26:53]her face she didn't say anything she came she prayed with us

[26:57]she went to her room five minutes later she came she told

[27:02]me baba here take my phone keep it with you for a

[27:08]while he says for one full week she had nothing to do

[27:11]with her phone she did not come asking for her phone he

[27:13]says a week later she came to me she told me i

[27:16]need my phone to do some urgent things but i want to

[27:20]thank you the last week has been the most peaceful week of

[27:24]my life and now when i stand in salah i enjoy my

[27:27]salah i know to whom i'm talking see that was a lesson

[27:32]that was really powerful it's the approach that he took he didn't

[27:37]yell at her he didn't demean her he just gave her a

[27:43]practical example you're attached to your phone more than allah so do

[27:45]sajuda on your phone makes more sense that approach makes the entire

[27:51]difference my dear brothers and sisters as parents don't say no this

[27:57]is how my parents did it i'm going to do it the

[28:00]same way your parents came from a different generation what worked for

[28:04]them may not work for this generation you have to be open

[28:08]to try new ways the problem with the older generation with parents

[28:12]is that they're stuck in their way of doing things and they're

[28:16]not willing to consider doing things another way try other ways in

[28:22]the end it's about what works what is it that works who

[28:26]cares whose ways it is does it work or does it not

[28:31]work that's key that's important i'll share with you the story of

[28:37]a sheikh jafar kashif who is a top scholar and merger in

[28:44]the holy city of nejaf in the past every night before the

[28:47]fajr prayer before dawn he would go to the shrine of imam

[28:51]ali alayhi salam and he would pray the midnight prayer there salati

[28:57]laid now he had a teenage son he would encourage him abba

[29:00]come with me or at least get up and pray salatella he

[29:05]couldn't you know youth it's difficult for them to get up at

[29:11]night leave their comfortable warm bed and go and pray it's not

[29:15]easy so he would struggle his son wouldn't really listen to him

[29:18]so he came up with a creative way one day he told

[29:24]him son i'm just asking you tonight come with me at 3am

[29:27]come with me let's go just tonight i want to show you

[29:29]something so he woke him up at 3am it was a winter

[29:34]night cold and windy he said come with me let's walk to

[29:41]the shrine as they were going to the shrine they saw an

[29:44]old man in his seventies begging sitting in the cold of the

[29:49]night begging he told him baba what do you see there he

[29:54]says i see an old man begging he told him how much

[29:58]do you think he's going to make how much are people going

[30:03]to give him he said if he's lucky if he's lucky on

[30:06]this night he'll get probably two or three dirhams two or three

[30:11]coins and if he's not lucky he won't get anything some nights

[30:14]maybe peop nobody gives him he tells him my dear son you

[30:19]see this old man he's much weaker than you you're young you're

[30:23]strong now he's much weaker than you he's older than you he

[30:28]has sacrificed his sleep his warm comfortable bed and he comes here

[30:34]in hopes of getting two or three dirhams maybe he'll get them

[30:41]maybe he won't yet you see him sacrificing his comfort to come

[30:46]out here and you my dear son if you sacrifice some of

[30:50]your sleep and you stand before allah in the midst of the

[30:55]night you are guaranteed that what allah will give you is grander

[30:58]than the universe this old man for two or three coins that

[31:05]he might get is willing to come out here for hours and

[31:07]sit in this cold night but you for something that is guaranteed

[31:11]by allah subhanahu ta'ala you're not willing he said that changed the

[31:19]life of my son that important stance right there changed his perspective

[31:25]ever since that night he would not skip salat tilly because of

[31:29]this creative approach many times the youngsters are willing to listen my

[31:34]dear brothers and sisters but they need a creative approach when you

[31:38]come with an approach that makes sense to them they'll accept it

[31:43]if they're not accepting it's probably not making sense to them come

[31:47]up with a different way to make sense to them and and

[31:50]that does wonders so now my dear brothers and sisters i'd like

[31:54]to ask you for some ways that you've tried you know you

[32:00]were struggling in an area with your children or you know a

[32:03]family who was struggling and then you simply came up with a

[32:04]creative way and it addressed the problem let me let's hear from

[32:09]some of the experiences that you have and we have the mic

[32:12]here so those in the back can also hear us so what

[32:15]are what what is something that you found effective in this regard

[32:18]when it comes to adopting a new approach so that the youngsters

[32:25]trust us more and they can interact with us more you have

[32:32]not tried any creative ways with your children yes we have a

[32:37]sister there in the back and the brother here so let's start

[32:40]with the brother and then you can take the mic to the

[32:44]sister um i think it's it's very important to uh to talk

[32:49]to them as make them feel that you're talking to them as

[32:54]adults and uh what i try to do uh a lot of

[32:58]the times is is have a discussion and make them realize that

[33:03]i have a point of view and they have a point of

[33:04]view and at the end of a discussion i make sure that

[33:09]they understand that i agree with their point of view and i

[33:12]have changed my point of view and uh that was shocking to

[33:15]my son multiple times actually sincerely i i i changed my point

[33:20]of view because of uh his argument with me not argument but

[33:24]discussion with me and and i think that made me uh able

[33:29]to influence his thinking a little bit more that's an excellent observation

[33:35]brother you know when you do family counseling you come to the

[33:39]following conclusion that many times parents are not giving their children the

[33:43]opportunity to express themselves and to make a point that's it i

[33:50]as a parent if i think some something is bad that's it

[33:53]done deal don't even bring it up and sometimes i ask those

[33:56]parents well why don't you you know bring it up with your

[34:00]children well i'll say it i don't want to teach them to

[34:03]challenge me because if i open this door and i state my

[34:07]reasons they could challenge those reasons and that's not a door i

[34:13]want to open because sometimes they just don't get it so i

[34:16]want to close the door and i tell them no don't bring

[34:19]this up anymore i said no and no means no this is

[34:23]wrong today our children are growing up in an era where they're

[34:26]taught to express themselves you know why kids love social media because

[34:30]it's a platform that enables them to express themselves that's why they

[34:34]love it they're addicted to it and oftentimes those children who suffer

[34:39]at home they don't have a way to express themselves they resort

[34:45]to social media allow them to express themselves at home it's okay

[34:49]if you think something is not good for your children they think

[34:53]otherwise sit have a discussion as the brother said let them state

[34:59]their points first of all they might have valid points how are

[35:03]you so sure that everything you do and you know is correct

[35:06]what are you infallible god gave you all the knowledge i may

[35:11]do some things wrong maybe your son your daughter has a valid

[35:17]point at least give them a chance to speak to express their

[35:20]opinions even even if in the end you're not convinced the fact

[35:24]that you gave them a chance to speak they will appreciate that

[35:28]i've seen this works many times the the parents don't end up

[35:34]agreeing to what their kids are suggesting but at least the teenagers

[35:39]they appreciate the fact that their parents gave them an opportunity to

[35:44]express themselves they sat with them they told them okay tell me

[35:47]tell me why you think this is good convince me let them

[35:51]talk even if they could not convince you at least giving them

[35:55]that opportunity is important when they feel that they have been given

[35:59]that opportunity they will respect you more at least they will see

[36:02]that you're trying to use some logic here now it doesn't mean

[36:06]that they have to convince you of every point no maybe you'll

[36:09]end up convincing them and you as a parent my dear brothers

[36:13]and sisters you should be able to convince them if i can't

[36:16]convince them then maybe there's a problem with with my knowledge with

[36:21]my expertise i need to seek further education and we'll talk about

[36:26]this point uh let's now go to the sister so she can

[36:27]share with us something that she found effective um from the lectures

[36:35]yesterday and today we were trying to use some practicality and speak

[36:39]to our girls that came with us on the conference this morning

[36:42]yesterday we had mentioned how what's being fed to them through the

[36:47]tv and movies is influencing the way they're acting and it wasn't

[36:51]something that set well with them they didn't understand it they said

[36:54]oh we know our beliefs and we don't act like the way

[36:58]they act and so we brought in some examples today and we

[37:02]talked about disney movies and i let them kind of lead the

[37:06]discussion pick your favorite movie and then we kind of went through

[37:11]and dissected like what happened in the movie how islamic it was

[37:14]how unislamic it was and then what what were some of the

[37:19]things like aladdin's flying carpet for example or jafar stick and kind

[37:23]of relate it back to prophet stories and say is it a

[37:27]way for us to get desensitized to the miracles of allah or

[37:31]is it really just you know for imagination purposes so i think

[37:36]it was a good discussion to start maybe they'll be more cognizant

[37:39]of these things that are being shown to them in these movies

[37:44]down the road because it seemed like they agreed and we had

[37:48]a good healthy discussion we spoke about moana and the parting of

[37:52]the sea and so things like that that's a great observation sometimes

[37:57]when they're not understanding the influence of something try to show them

[38:04]by having them think present them the situation and let them think

[38:08]about it when they come up with a conclusion they'll accept it

[38:11]i'll give you one example that i found very helpful with a

[38:15]group of teenagers they were asking about music why is islam so

[38:19]sensitive with many types of music and it considers many types to

[38:23]be haram well why we don't get it you know we live

[38:26]in a society that thrives on music and entertainment what's the big

[38:30]deal i'm not harming anybody right i'm just enjoying my time listening

[38:34]to some songs and music i told them okay fine i have

[38:40]just one task for you complete this task and then you be

[38:44]the judge whether many types of music are good for you or

[38:47]not go and research i want you go and today you have

[38:51]access to the internet you could easily research go and research and

[38:55]give me statistics about this specific point there are companies that analyze

[39:02]the lyrics right the lyrics the words of that are mentioned in

[39:08]songs and music they analyze the lyrics the content what is the

[39:13]content about just go and do research for me and tell me

[39:17]that sixty percent eighty percent as an example of lyrics have the

[39:23]following messages in them that's all i want you to do they

[39:26]came back with this assignment they were shocked you know when i

[39:31]looked at them in the beginning of the session they were laughing

[39:35]they they didn't know how to show their emotions towards what they

[39:39]discovered i told them tell me what did you discover like it's

[39:45]shocking we really were not aware of all this research out there

[39:48]about the content of lyrics i told them break it down to

[39:53]me tell me and so they stated the numbers seventy percent of

[39:57]all lyrics are about violence drugs and sex seventy percent of all

[40:02]lyrics and then the thirty percent you know there are still other

[40:08]issues with it i told them okay now you're the legislator here

[40:11]you as a parent you have children listening to music knowing this

[40:15]statistic this fact would you think would you encourage your kids to

[40:20]listen to it or would you discourage them i left it at

[40:25]that they got the point they got the message see let them

[40:27]see the wisdom behind something guide them to figure out themselves it

[40:33]makes all the difference don't just tell them no this is not

[40:37]good and that's it leave it at that they will not accept

[40:38]that and they will try to you know push against you another

[40:43]challenge that we have my dear brothers and sisters is when it

[40:49]comes to our belief system even the belief in the existence of

[40:53]allah subhanahu wa ta'ala a 14 year old teenager came to me

[41:00]he'd become an atheist his father was frustrated i mean imagine your

[41:05]son becoming an atheist that destroys many families doesn't believe in god

[41:10]anymore i told his father be gentle let me talk to him

[41:12]i knew right off the bat that the parents at home didn't

[41:16]know how to communicate with him so i saw him about 45

[41:21]minutes i spent time with him i told him tell me what's

[41:25]going on he told me say look i have doubts about the

[41:27]existence of god i've read things my teacher some atheists so i

[41:32]went to my mom with respect and i told her look i'm

[41:36]having serious doubts about the existence of god help me tell me

[41:40]tell me you know why should i believe in god show me

[41:43]some proof you know what she told me say it she got

[41:46]angry she was confused for a moment she didn't know what to

[41:50]say and she told me listen if you don't believe in god

[41:54]you're going to hell now i knew exactly why she told him

[42:03]that you know why she told him that she doesn't know how

[42:06]to answer it she believes in god she grew up believing in

[42:10]god but now her 14 year old son challenging her asking her

[42:15]show me proof for god's existence she doesn't know how she didn't

[42:20]really know how to communicate that that's a problem my dear brothers

[42:25]and sisters before we have children we need to know these things

[42:30]tomorrow your child at age 3 4 5 all the way till

[42:33]20 they will ask you these questions what's the proof for god's

[42:38]existence if i can't explain it in two minutes three minutes five

[42:43]minutes i have a big problem i sat with the young man

[42:45]he was very logical i shared with him some proofs he left

[42:49]the meeting believing in allah subhanahu ta'ala he wasn't stubborn he wasn't

[42:53]a bad boy he just went to his mother she didn't have

[42:57]an answer she threatened him with hell that doesn't work anymore that's

[43:01]a problem or sometimes you know youngsters they go to their parents

[43:07]and they tell them okay this holy quran that's very important okay

[43:10]prove to me this is the word of god who said who

[43:14]said that the quran is the word of god i don't know

[43:16]show me that it's a miracle especially if the children don't read

[43:20]arabic don't know arabic prove it to me now i'll honestly ask

[43:27]you many parents in a lot of our communities do you think

[43:29]they're qualified to show their children in simple steps that this is

[43:33]the word of god we have a problem then many times we

[43:38]have this generation gap because the lack of our knowledge and that's

[43:45]why as parents our priority is to know our belief system to

[43:49]be able to defend our belief system once you as a parent

[43:55]you have that clarity when it comes to your belief system you

[43:57]will easily transfer that to your children but this is key this

[44:03]is important we had a sister in the back wanted to share

[44:05]with us something so simply and easy we create a group me

[44:22]and my kids my son like it so much and he called

[44:25]in our home uh but we do not make a group what

[44:29]kind of what's up group what's up we use it every day

[44:32]greeting and whenever i want to tell them something and they do

[44:37]not want to listen or i feel they will not listen so

[44:38]i send it they read they take a moment to answer they

[44:43]find something to say about it they give comments and we created

[44:47]another one with the overseas family so in their culture it's shame

[44:53]to answer after like a while they have to answer fast it

[44:55]was hard for them to answer first arabic so they added translator

[44:59]then they started to understand the arabic they started to improve their

[45:03]language now they are answering them and they are communicating with them

[45:07]and in our group that we call it in our home we

[45:11]do not share something like we would not share it with other

[45:14]people it's our secrets our like emotion i send them emoji i

[45:19]like it so much when i send emoji so much they really

[45:24]do appreciate it they really do appreciate it when they see parents

[45:28]speaking in their language you have to sometimes bring your level to

[45:36]their level in terms of your speech even the words that you

[45:40]use some of the vocab right that you use it will surprise

[45:44]them it will make them think that no my parents do know

[45:47]a lot more than i think they might get it they might

[45:51]understand so that's a great example of using modern technology to connect

[45:54]with your children it's okay it's fine and allah will reward you

[45:59]for that yes we have another sister in the back um not

[46:07]a parent but i happen to be one of the kids in

[46:16]question hello bubba i just want to say that a big part

[46:23]of this is to approach the children with an open mind like

[46:27]the minecraft example you showed or you showed earlier if they're going

[46:32]to show you something don't don't come at it with a judgmental

[46:36]attitude just just take it in uh leave your prejudices at the

[46:44]door uh don't guilt-trip them either uh don't say things like oh

[46:48]they don't have the challenges like i did and so i feel

[46:56]like their characters aren't strong enough just just have an open mind

[47:01]it's that's that's all we want well we we want our parents

[47:05]to unders to be able to ask us things and understand us

[47:13]without judging us without prejudice beautifully stated sister if parents approach their

[47:19]children with an open mind it makes all the difference and be

[47:21]genuine don't act and pretend be genuine you know sometimes we as

[47:27]families we forget that we're on the same team think about that

[47:35]many times when you see marital problems right or problems between parents

[47:40]and their children too often family members forget that they are on

[47:45]one team if that person wins i win we all win we

[47:52]forget that so it requires that you treat everything with an open

[47:57]mind don't come with preconceived notions or prejudgments they don't like that

[48:04]they will not appreciate that come with an open mind it makes

[48:06]all the difference so that that is a very good suggestion sister

[48:12]yes we have a sister in the back i have two kids

[48:24]and what we try to do is when i used to take

[48:27]them to school we did this one thing where each one of

[48:30]us shares something they want to change in themselves i'm not allowed

[48:34]to tell my son what he should change he's not allowed to

[48:37]tell his sister she's not allowed to tell me so what we

[48:40]do is i pick one character trait that i want to work

[48:42]on for a week and when we pick each other up on

[48:46]our way home we talk about that character that we're trying to

[48:50]change and what went well that day and what didn't and what

[48:53]we didn't do well what we would do the next day to

[48:58]change it and the whole idea behind this is to teach our

[49:01]kids and i know we're supposed to the kids are supposed to

[49:03]be humble in front of their parents but i think we need

[49:07]to think about parents being humble in front of their kids it's

[49:10]okay to say i don't do this well i need to work

[49:14]on it here's how i'm doing it it teaches them self-res reflection

[49:17]it teaches them that it's okay to say that there's something wrong

[49:23]and it teaches them how to change things and it's not a

[49:26]blame game it's not that i tell my son well you know

[49:28]what i asked you to be honest today and you weren't he

[49:32]needs to look at himself says today i was honest but yesterday

[49:38]i wasn't and here's how i changed it beautiful that's a very

[49:42]creative strategy many of these strategies work my dear brothers and sisters

[49:45]many strategies and they're very simple at the core very that's okay

[49:55]that's a testimony that these strategies do work i remember once a

[50:01]couple i came for counseling they wanted to get divorced so i

[50:07]asked them a simple question i told the husband i told him

[50:13]tell me five good qualities about your wife i know you're frustrated

[50:17]you don't want her anymore but she must have five good qualities

[50:20]tell me five good qualities so he started thinking he mentioned them

[50:24]one two three four five she has i'll give her credit she

[50:30]has these five qualities then i told her tell me five qualities

[50:33]about your husband so she enumerated five qualities good qualities about her

[50:41]husband then i told them both i told them are you guaranteed

[50:45]that if you get divorced the next person you'll remarry will have

[50:49]these five good qualities they were speechless a few minutes they got

[50:53]up and left they didn't want to divorce anymore all i had

[50:57]to do is remind them of the good qualities they had they

[51:00]didn't see it they couldn't see it because of tension verbal abuse

[51:05]you know hatred accumulating they could no longer see the good qualities

[51:10]in each other sometimes it's just simple things you know like the

[51:14]sister mentioned it's really simple at its core but it makes a

[51:15]difference it brings a positive atmosphere into the household now my dear

[51:22]brothers and sisters going back to the point that we as parents

[51:27]we need to know the core beliefs of our religion and it's

[51:31]very important for us to succinctly and concisely state that to others

[51:37]especially our children i would like to now do an exercise with

[51:39]you and i'm not here to put anyone on the spot just

[51:42]a quick exercise about the quran we all believe in the quran

[51:48]it's the word of god right if i were to ask you

[51:52]now in one minute tell me why you believe the quran is

[51:56]the word of god would you be able to do that in

[52:02]fact look at the names of the chapters of the quran not

[52:05]even that something as simple as the names of the chapters we

[52:11]have 114 chapters right allah has given us 114 keys to success

[52:18]the name just the name of the chapter do you even know

[52:21]the names of the chapters what do we know about the quran

[52:25]even as adults if you ask the average person in the community

[52:27]and try this i want you to try this exercise ask the

[52:31]average muslim that you know tell me what does mean okay what

[52:40]about zuchrov what does that mean most people don't know we have

[52:47]a problem allah has given me an entire chapter called i don't

[52:51]know what it means what does al-jaffiyah mean jacia say it what's

[52:55]jathia is that chinese we don't even know the names of the

[52:59]chapters let alone the content and the tafsir and the application and

[53:04]the lessons just the simple names just the simple names we can't

[53:10]numerate it our kids can't they don't even know what it means

[53:12]but masha'allah ask them about sports players they'll tell you their name

[53:16]their biography their history how many scores they've made and so on

[53:20]and so forth it's a problem it's a problem ask your parent

[53:23]right ask yourself right now as a parent if i were to

[53:26]be asked in one minute tell me why you believe that the

[53:28]quran is the word of god what's miraculous about the quran can

[53:31]you state it can you give us an example can someone here

[53:38]stand up and tell us why you believe the quran is the

[53:41]word of god in one minute yes brother this is welcome i

[53:55]mean to the end of the ayah welcome this is actually um

[54:05]until like recently um the signs like no there is you know

[54:10]uh the the sun like move on the earth move and so

[54:15]circulation and there is another eye well are land that's improved recently

[54:41]too so one way is the scientific approach which is effective you

[54:44]know these days our children are growing up knowing science be familiar

[54:49]with the scientific references in the holy quran it makes a difference

[54:53]i remember a young man came to see me and he told

[54:57]me say it you know i know we don't have much time

[54:59]just one minute tell me something about the quran from a scientific

[55:03]aspect that proves it's the word of god i told him allah

[55:08]subhanahu ta'ala states that he's ever expanding the universe and we are

[55:21]continuously expanding when did science discover that the universe is expanding what

[55:26]80 90 years ago 1930 edwin hubble when he observed that the

[55:32]stars the galaxies are moving further away from each other he came

[55:36]to the conclusion the scientific fact that the universe is expanding so

[55:41]this was discovered in the last century how did someone in seventh

[55:43]century arabia come up with this know with this see know these

[55:49]simple things from a literary perspective from a scientific perspective know these

[55:54]facts my dear brothers and sisters it's really important we're about to

[55:59]conclude the session my dear brothers and sisters i would like to

[56:02]end with one note the first part was about parents and how

[56:06]we can connect to our children and the last part very briefly

[56:11]i have a message to our youth my dear brothers and sisters

[56:15]we grew up here in america and you know in these western

[56:22]societies there is a lot of emphasis on children right parents being

[56:26]responsible towards children spending time going out of your way activities with

[56:33]your children and that's beautiful that's good but one area that our

[56:37]society is failing in miserably is that as soon as we become

[56:43]adults in our 20s and 30s it seems that society teaches us

[56:47]to forget that we have parents i'll never forget maybe it was

[56:57]in 2000 i think it was in the year 2000 during these

[57:00]nights christmas there was christmas eve i was watching cnn with my

[57:04]father and the and cnn was doing an interview with an american

[57:11]soldier in afghanistan so they told him do you have a message

[57:13]maybe for your family for your friends so he it was an

[57:19]emotional message he said you know it's christmas eve i'm away from

[57:22]my wife and uh two children i think he said he was

[57:24]25 or 26 years old young soldier he said it's christmas eve

[57:29]and i'm not celebrating it with them and he started to cry

[57:32]you know i'm not with my wife and kids now what really

[57:37]caught my attention is that okay it was good for him to

[57:39]remember his wife and children that's nice and he sent them his

[57:43]greetings what about his parents not a single message to his parents

[57:52]and i see thousands of such cases what happened to the parents

[57:56]that were there for you and we forgot about them my dear

[57:59]brothers and sisters oftentimes teenagers growing up in this society they are

[58:03]not aware of the sacrifices of this of their parents yesterday we

[58:08]had a workshop with high school students and they gave us beautiful

[58:12]examples to remind ourselves of how much our parents sacrificed i remember

[58:18]a teenage girl came fights with her mom to the point where

[58:22]it got physical physical she started pulling her mom's hair and disrespecting

[58:26]her and the mom was crying you know why why is she

[58:30]doing this to me in any case i spoke to her i

[58:34]said to her one thing i told her right now if you

[58:38]have a late night and you slept at 3 am now you're

[58:43]in your deep sleep at 3 30 4 am somebody comes and

[58:47]wakes you up you go back to sleep somebody wakes you up

[58:54]again and again and this happens for 20 times between 3 and

[58:57]7 a.m how would you feel that night she said i'd feel

[59:03]very frustrated and angry i'll kill that person who does that to

[59:07]me i told her do you know you did this thousands of

[59:10]times to your mother when you were an infant thousands of times

[59:16]did you forget that she was shocked she she just needed that

[59:20]simple reminder jet forgotten as teenagers just look at other mothers how

[59:27]they're raising their children and what they go through you'll appreciate what

[59:32]your mother did for you that will allow you to love her

[59:38]back she was moved by that she started to cry i wasn't

[59:40]aware of that i forgot those nights i forgot those days now

[59:43]because of some little issue with your mom you you become disrespectful

[59:47]like that you become physical with her you pull her hair did

[59:52]you forget those thousands of nights she was there for you until

[59:56]until you grew up let's not forget that my dear brothers and

[60:02]sisters the love and the concern that parents have is unmatched no

[60:05]one on earth can love you as much as your parents not

[60:10]even your spouse your spouse you treat your spouse like a king

[60:14]and a queen but no one comes close to your parents they

[60:17]are the greatest gift allah subhana wa ta'ala has given you and

[60:21]the best key to success in life is to be good to

[60:26]your parents if there's one golden key to success in life it's

[60:32]our parents let's not forget their sacrifices you know they say there

[60:37]was an old woman who needed some care and her son was

[60:42]frustrated he couldn't care for her anymore so he sent her to

[60:46]the nursing home which is really sad if i can take care

[60:51]of my parents why should i send them to nursing homes so

[60:54]he sent her he sent her to the nursing home he'd stopped

[60:58]by every week once a week to check on her then it

[61:03]became once a month then it became once a year then he

[61:08]couldn't even bring himself to visit her once a year he'd call

[61:13]her he'd call her on aid so one year she called him

[61:16]she told him my son come there's something important that i need

[61:19]to tell you so he goes and he sees her she tells

[61:23]him my dear son the doctor has diagnosed me with something fatal

[61:26]and i just have a few more weeks to live so i

[61:31]would like to write my will you know i have x amount

[61:33]of money in the bank account right it's like yeah i'm aware

[61:37]of that this is my will this is what i want you

[61:38]to do with my money this nursing home here you know isn't

[61:43]fully equipped and especially in the summer it gets very hot and

[61:47]i am sensitive to heat i really suffered in the heat so

[61:51]i want you after i die you take my money and you

[61:55]buy a new ac system for this nursing home he looked at

[62:00]her he's puzzled he's like mom i mean why you're going to

[62:05]die why waste that money you're not going to benefit from it

[62:07]she told them no habibi it's not for me it's for you

[62:10]20 years from now they will bring you to this nursing home

[62:16]and i want this place to be comfortable for you she's dying

[62:21]but she's thinking of her son who can match this love my

[62:26]dear brothers and sisters who can match that the greatest gift allah

[62:31]he's given us is our parents let's be tolerant let's be patient

[62:37]let's be appreciative allah subhanahu ta'ala will give us the success in

[62:41]the dunya and in the afra my dear brothers and sisters i

[62:45]would like to thank you for participating in this session may allah

[62:49]subhanahu ta'ala bless you protect your parents if they're alive bless their

[62:53]soul if they're not and don't forget the hadith this is a

[62:57]very important hadith some of you may feel regretful okay my parents

[62:59]passed away and i could have done for them more you can

[63:04]the hadith states that there are people they were good to their

[63:11]parents [Music] in their lives but when their parents died they forgot

[63:16]about them allah will resurrect them on the day of judgment as

[63:20]ah undutiful towards their parents they will say oh allah my parents

[63:24]were alive i took care of them allah says yes but when

[63:27]they died and they needed you more to offer good deeds you

[63:31]forgot them don't forget to send good deeds to your parents to

[63:35]your grandparents to those who have passed away they desperately wait for

[63:39]our good deeds and that's another way to compensate if i had

[63:43]shortcomings with my parents when they were alive if they have passed

[63:48]away now there's a way to compensate for them offer good deeds

[63:51]and allah will still bless you the door is still open could

[64:00]you elaborate a little bit more on the the approach because i

[64:06]think the there's a really neat story to tell about you know

[64:09]providing proofs for the existence of god and that being kind of

[64:12]the the end-all be-all of getting them back but have you heard

[64:16]stories of longer processes other strategies uh patience with with young folks

[64:21]who are going through agnosticism or atheism uh because i think again

[64:26]they're i think the proofs are one strategy and i think there's

[64:31]sometimes a stubbornness uh and there are potential or or seemingly plausible

[64:35]counter arguments that people will read from from books or online so

[64:38]if you heard other stories or other strategies that you could provide

[64:41]about being patient or long-term proposals so when it comes to the

[64:48]challenge or the dilemma with those who are struggling with having faith

[64:56]in god agnosticism or even atheism first of all i think it's

[65:01]important for all of us to know why people doubt the existence

[65:07]of god what are the primary reasons we need to study the

[65:11]research out there and see what is it that's pushing people to

[65:14]doubt in the existence of god knowing the factors will help us

[65:20]with the solution because each person comes from their unique circumstances right

[65:23]so the primary reasons and i'll summarize these for you why people

[65:28]have doubts in the existence of god are the following number one

[65:33]a lot of people struggle with the concept of evil the presence

[65:39]of evil in this world if we have a lord and this

[65:45]god is supposedly merciful as the believers say and they even tell

[65:48]us that he's more merciful than our parents right then how is

[65:52]it that he allows for evil to take place why is there

[65:56]suffering in this world how would a lord who is compassionate and

[66:00]merciful allow for suffering to exist knowing this is very important sometimes

[66:05]that person is struggling with this idea they cannot make sense of

[66:10]the evil that's going on or they may have a condition or

[66:13]a family member who's suffering and they cannot accept it they cannot

[66:16]see the wisdom behind it in the system of god you know

[66:20]i've i've shared this before once i was on the plane coming

[66:23]back from canada after the month of ramadan when a canadian lady

[66:30]she saw my religious attire so she had questions and she was

[66:34]struggling with the idea of the existence of god you know she

[66:38]told me that she grew up as a christian but now she

[66:41]doubts god's existence she no longer believes in god so i asked

[66:44]her do you mind telling me why why is it that you

[66:48]don't believe in god she said yeah i'll tell you the main

[66:50]reason is the problem of evil i see suffering i see kids

[66:54]born with defects with illnesses how can a merciful lord allow that

[67:01]to happen so she stated the problem sometimes you just give them

[67:07]a simple answer believe me islam even though it's very deep with

[67:12]many layers but at its core it's very simple always have that

[67:16]clarity in your thought and your thinking i told her okay i'll

[67:20]just give you one example she said what i told her have

[67:23]you gone to college taken exams she's like yeah i have a

[67:27]phd she was very educated smart educated i told her have you

[67:31]taken a multiple choice exam she said yes i told her tell

[67:35]me how it works how does it work well there's a question

[67:38]and then four answers and then four options a b c d

[67:41]maybe sometimes e out of these options how many of those is

[67:48]correct how many one what about the others the wrong right who

[67:58]put them who put those wrong answers the teacher right so she

[68:01]said the teacher i told her shame on that teacher aren't teachers

[68:06]supposed to teach us facts why is the teacher teaching us wrong

[68:10]information why is the teacher putting wrong facts in the test shame

[68:13]on that teacher she was very smart she quickly got where i

[68:18]was going with this she's like i see where you're going with

[68:21]this but here's here's the shocking part for me she told me

[68:24]i've never heard this in my life this perspective i've never seen

[68:27]it i told her it's unfair for you to come and say

[68:30]there's no god because there's evil yes you can ask why would

[68:38]god allow for evil in this world where's the wisdom in it

[68:40]then we can talk about it and we did for about an

[68:44]hour we did talk about it and alhamdulillah allah guided her to

[68:47]believe in him so it's very important to know the reasons why

[68:51]are people turning away from god are they struggling with the concept

[68:56]of evil address it the second greatest factor why people have doubts

[69:01]in the existence of god is the actions of so-called believers you

[69:08]hear this all the time they tell you we look at history

[69:11]and we see wars violence problems trouble committed in the name of

[69:16]religion so you know what religion is nothing but a cult it's

[69:22]it destroys our society and therefore the best way to get rid

[69:27]of all that just just to reject the existence of god and

[69:31]the existence of religions and that's it so they don't really have

[69:35]a philosophical i you know logical problem with god's existence but the

[69:38]what but what has pushed them is what i call the malpractice

[69:43]of you know either muslims or uh the followers of other religions

[69:46]it's important for us to know that and then sometimes it's science

[69:50]confusing them like the theory of evolution right they hear the theory

[69:56]of evolution and the theory of evolution and their mind means that

[70:01]yeah life can spontaneously happen you don't need an intelligent creator to

[70:04]design life sometimes that may be the problem so now you have

[70:08]to tackle it from a logical perspective you know in a way

[70:13]that is very easy for them to understand i'll give you a

[70:18]very quick example here you know based on my experience with atheists

[70:20]many times when you talk about the chances of this universe being

[70:25]where it is today with all this complexity they'll come back and

[70:29]tell you well the laws of probability show us that it's still

[70:35]possible it may be one in a trillion billion gazillion whatever it's

[70:38]a small number but it can happen and they give you the

[70:41]example of a lottery what are the chances of you winning the

[70:44]lottery very small but hey you can still win it somebody wins

[70:49]it every once in a while so just because the chances are

[70:53]small doesn't mean that you will not get a good outcome if

[70:56]it keeps happening enough time give it a chance billions of years

[71:01]life can happen see now this is the misconception in their mind

[71:05]that's causing them to doubt the existence of god you just need

[71:09]a simple response to that my dear brothers and sisters the simple

[71:13]response to that is the following you tell them okay fine a

[71:16]lottery works on the laws of probability no doubt about that but

[71:21]the lottery system is a delicate organized system designed by intelligent humans

[71:28]the system itself that carries the lottery is not anything governed by

[71:34]probability or randomness yes now that you have this system and you

[71:39]put it into action the result may be random sure laws of

[71:42]probability random results but the lottery itself was developed by intelligent human

[71:50]beings they're guiding the process they put the conditions they put the

[71:53]rules it's not floating in air okay fine fine we have evolution

[71:58]let's say science does prove all aspects of evolution okay how does

[72:03]that disprove the existence of an intelligent creator evolution does not float

[72:07]in air it needs a system to generate the process of evolution

[72:12]that system where did it come from see take them back to

[72:17]that logic that delicate system that allows for evolution to exist that

[72:22]system that foundation where did that come from who put that into

[72:27]place so it's very important in response to your question brother it's

[72:31]very important to examine the reasons why people doubt the existence of

[72:37]allah to know the appropriate response to that so i think we

[72:40]should all be educated about that study this know why people doubt

[72:44]the existence of god sometimes it's a verse that they've misunderstood i've

[72:48]had people come to me and they really doubt the quran and

[72:53]islam and i discovered that okay it's because they misunderstood a verse

[72:57]here like there was uh this muslim who had become an atheist

[73:00]and i asked him he told me look i told him why

[73:03]did you become an atheist you said a few reasons but i'll

[73:07]tell you one reason this quran is wrong i told him why

[73:10]is it wrong he said well because the quran says god created

[73:15]adam and you know i don't know 6 000 years ago 8

[73:18]000 years ago and modern science has proven that no humans go

[73:21]back to like a million years ago this human-like figure so the

[73:25]quran is wrong i told him first of all which verse says

[73:29]god created adam six thousand years ago we don't have such a

[73:33]verse yes we have some hadiths that might indicate you know god

[73:37]created adam alayhi salaam maybe somewhere seven thousand eight thousand years ago

[73:40]anyways that's the first point the second point who told you there

[73:44]were no humans before adam who told you in fact the quran

[73:48]indicates and hence there were human-like figures before adam and we have

[73:54]hadiths from the commander of the faithful telling us that there were

[73:59]human-like figures you know before adam he's like no you're making this

[74:02]up where is this show me the source i showed him the

[74:04]sources he was shocked he's like i didn't know this i told

[74:09]him how do you quickly become an atheist and you reject the

[74:12]quran without even understanding the quran sometimes people just misunderstand simple verses

[74:17]and that pushes them to reject the word of allah subhana wa

[74:21]contemplate the quran understand the quran the quran is amazing when you

[74:28]ponder on it states that the verses of the quran are like

[74:34]treasure boxes if someone gives you a treasure box would you just

[74:38]take a quick look and leave or you'll inspect it you'll examine

[74:43]it you'll take out the treasures the imam says every single verse

[74:46]is a treasure and my dear brothers and sisters when you live

[74:52]with the quran see we as parents in our homes we don't

[74:54]live with the quran the bait peace be upon them you know

[74:59]why they're so great why they are our role models they raised

[75:03]their children to live with the quran hamid have been muslim was

[75:09]a historian a journalist who attended karbala not to fight but to

[75:13]record the events some of what we know about the events of

[75:19]karbara have been conveyed to us by hamid muslim in the book

[75:22]of maktals he narrates some things in muslim narrates he says after

[75:28]the tents were set to fire on the day of ashura i

[75:30]saw a little three or four year old girl running and her

[75:35]garment had caught on fire had caught some fire so i rushed

[75:40]to her to help her i helped her extinguish the fire so

[75:43]it doesn't burn her because it was rapidly expanding around her garment

[75:47]then i asked her a question who are you you know what

[75:53]she responded three-year-old girl hamid have been muslim he says she told

[75:56]me [Music] imagine a three-year-old girl she's the biggest massacre happened there

[76:09]in karbala he asked her who are you she tells him have

[76:12]you read the quran o man he says i was surprised i

[76:18]told her why yeah i've read the quran why what does this

[76:20]have to do with the quran she told me sheikh have you

[76:24]read this verse as for the orphan do not hurt the orphan

[76:29]have you read this verse he said yes i've read this verse

[76:35]why she told him yeah o sheikh i am the orphan of

[76:40]hussain this was fatah in karbala a three-year-old girl when she's asked

[76:46]who you are she responds through the quran because they lived the

[76:51]quran our families should live the quran my dear brothers and sisters

[76:54]if we live with the words of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allah

[77:00]will illuminate our hearts our souls our life and once you become

[77:04]closer to the quran allah will reveal new dimensions in your heart

[77:09]like the story of that young man some of you are familiar

[77:14]with it you know he was in class in college he had

[77:18]a professor who was critical of islam like anti-muslim so he asked

[77:22]he said are there any muslim students in my class he raised

[77:26]his hand he said yeah i'm a muslim he told him you

[77:29]believe that the quran is the book of god he said yes

[77:31]the literal world of god he said yes i accept that.

[77:34]he said you believe every word and the quran is accounted for

[77:38]it's precise he said yes it's the word of god i accept

[77:40]that he said okay i have an objection to you god has

[77:55]not put two hearts inside inside a man why does the quran

[78:01]say man why is it indicating that women have two hearts this

[78:04]is not precise the quran could have said god had not put

[78:08]two hearts inside a human being why did it say rajul right

[78:11]now the student is thinking but he had a relationship with the

[78:17]quran because he had a relationship with the quran then and there

[78:20]allah inspired him he was inspired so he got up he told

[78:25]him professor there's a reason why god said that he told them

[78:28]why what you muslims believe that woman can have two hearts he

[78:33]said no science and biology shows us that when a woman is

[78:36]pregnant she has a fetus inside of her there can be multiple

[78:41]hearts inside of her her heart and the heart of her fetus

[78:43]but not a man subhanallah now by the way that's not the

[78:48]tafsir of the verse right but it's interesting you know the way

[78:51]that the man cornered him and he was inspired because he had

[78:55]a relationship with the quran to ponder on the meanings of the

[78:59]quran and the quran has many dimensions and they're fascinating dimensions once

[79:04]we live with the holy quran many of these challenges will be

[79:08]addressed thank you all for your time we'll end with a loud

[79:14]salah muhammad

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