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Abusive Relationships - Sayed Saleh Qazwini
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Transcript
[0:00]Assalamu alaykum.
[0:03]My name is Fati Masad, a youth here at Mecca, and I
[0:07]want to welcome you all to night six of our Muharam program.
[0:12]We're truly blessed to be gathered here tonight as a community, united
[0:17]by the love of Imam Hussein Alisam.
[0:19]To begin our program, I first would like to remind everyone that
[0:25]simultaneously while this program goes on, we do have an enjoyable and
[0:29]productable kids program during the Mecca school building two buildings down suite
[0:34]number 410.
[0:34]This will make the night productive for both parents and their children
[0:39]as they both learn about the tragedy we commemorate every year at
[0:43]the appropriate age level.
[0:44]And now I would like to welcome another youth member to the
[0:47]podium to recite a short excerpt from tears of Kerbala.
[0:51]Please help me in welcoming Sister Nord Venton Duce to the podium
[0:54]with a loud salawat.
[1:05]Thank you.
[1:12]Tonight is the sixth night of Muharam.
[1:14]As our males continue, our hearts turned to the marchers of Kabella.
[1:23]Among Hassain's small group of 72 were young boys.
[1:25]Lady Zanab's sons and Muhammad was 13 and Muhammad was 11.
[1:35]These children stood alongside the brave, ready to sacrifice for Islam.
[1:38]Let us first honor uh the mothers of Kaba.
[1:42]Women who were though filled with love for their children w willingly
[1:47]offered them in the path of truth.
[1:52]They knew Hussein was on the right path and believe their sacrifices
[1:56]would save Islam.
[1:55]On the night of Ashura, no one no one in Hussein's camp
[2:02]slept.
[2:02]Men pray the men prayed.
[2:05]The mothers prepared their their sons.
[2:06]Lady Zanob told her sons, "If anything happens to you while you
[2:11]live, I will be ashamed.
[2:13]Be the first to sacrifice your lives." When battle begun, Zay Zanab's
[2:19]eyes saw martyr after martyr brought back.
[2:22]Her sons were ready, but Hussein had not grant them permission.
[2:26]Zanab pleaded with her brother.
[2:28]If Hal Akbar dies before my sons, I will be filled with
[2:30]shame.
[2:31]Seeing her sorrow, Hussein embraced the boys and sent them to battlefield.
[2:36]With strength in with strength inherited from Jaff and Adid, the two
[2:43]brothers fought fiercely.
[2:43]Despite being weak with thirst, Yazid's army separated and overwhelmed them.
[2:52]As they fell, they cried, "Uncle, help us." Hussein and Abbas rushed
[2:57]toward them.
[2:56]Their final words were, "Give our saddam to our mother to and
[3:02]tell her we did not go towards the river." Zanab heard their
[3:05]martyrdom.
[3:06]She did not cry.
[3:09]Instead, she prayed, "Oh Allah, I thank you for accepting my sacrifice.
[3:13]I am proud of my sons.
[3:30]Thank you so much sister N for that moving recitation.
[3:33]It's always a blessing to see our youth not just present but
[3:38]actively carrying forward the message of Kbala say after witnessing the brutal
[3:45]events of Kerbala was asked what she saw and she replied with
[3:48]words that still echo in our hearts today.
[3:51]to I saw nothing but beauty.
[3:57]Those words came not from ease but from pain, not from distance
[4:00]but from deep direct loss.
[4:02]Yet still she found beauty in her sacrifice for our future community
[4:08]to look like this today.
[4:08]For many of us growing up here, we knew what it felt
[4:10]like to be isolated.
[4:13]I can count on the on my hand how many followers of
[4:18]Ailisam were in my high school of more than 6,000 students.
[4:20]And then came COVID and whatever community we had left started to
[4:25]slip even further away.
[4:28]According to Harvard studies, after the pandemic, nearly one in two young
[4:32]adults living in the United States reported feeling persistently lonely or disconnected.
[4:37]That's half of an entire generation feeling like they don't belong anywhere.
[4:41]And I know for many of us that wasn't just a number.
[4:45]That was our reality.
[4:48]But when Mecca opened its doors, something changed.
[4:49]We found each other again.
[4:53]We sat shouldertosh shoulder in prayer.
[4:55]We cried together in these nights.
[4:57]We remembered what it meant to belong.
[4:58]That's why I say Mecca didn't come just at the right time.
[5:03]It came when we, the young and the old needed it the
[5:07]most.
[5:06]And now, alhamdulillah, during the blessed days of Hajj this year, we
[5:10]received incredible news.
[5:13]The city the city of Canton approved our special use permit for
[5:17]our future mosque project.
[5:20]A huge milestone and one we should all be proud of.
[5:22]But the space we currently have is tight.
[5:26]It's overflowing with love, yes, but also with need.
[5:30]Our youth programs, our Friday and Eid prayers, our Shah Ramadan gettogethers,
[5:36]our Muharam gatherings, they all need room to grow.
[5:38]And that's where we as a community need to come in.
[5:43]Tonight, I humbly stand here and ask you to give.
[5:45]Whether it's big or small, it'll make a difference for the youth
[5:49]in your community now and for the future generations.
[5:51]You can sponsor a prayer spot for $5,000 on behalf of your
[5:58]loved ones living or deceased.
[5:59]It's a soda kajaria, an ongoing reward that will benefit them long
[6:03]after we're all gone, unlike temporary gifts that will be thrown out
[6:07]after a week.
[6:09]You can also become a recurring donor.
[6:11]We all have monthly subscriptions to Netflix, to Spotify, to apps we
[6:15]barely use.
[6:17]So why can we not commit a small subscription to the house
[6:20]of Allah?
[6:21]Even 20, $50, $100, the price we all spend on lunch every
[6:24]day or during the week.
[6:27]Any amount a month, can build something eternal.
[6:29]You can also sponsor a night of muharam.
[6:31]The suggested donation is $250.
[6:35]Tonight's maj has been generously sponsored by the Maramin of Kadari, the
[6:41]Scaffan family, Fatti Yaha, Jeff and Lina Malad, Bengash family, Mariam Muhammad
[6:50]Kasim and Haj Hassan Ai the Mar Haj Ysef and Khadijah Shami
[6:55]Turfi Mar Haj Nazi Af Ahmed Sister Wafa and anonymous donors We
[7:06]ask everyone to please recite for them in their after loud salawat.
[7:27]Please don't forget we're also selling Maharam t-shirts, short sleeve and long
[7:31]sleeve.
[7:31]They're available in the back.
[7:33]Grab one after the program to help support the youth at Mecca
[7:38]and represent the message of Imam Hussein Alaiisam wherever you go.
[7:41]Mecca is not just a place of prayer.
[7:43]It's a place of life.
[7:44]It's where youth come to recite, to do homework, and to study,
[7:48]to talk, to feel seen, to just be together and make lifetime
[7:52]friendships.
[7:52]It's a place of safety that raises our children in a world
[7:56]full of ongoing stressors.
[7:58]A place that strengthens their identity and heals the hearts of our
[8:02]youth after all the temptations they face in the outside world every
[8:05]day.
[8:06]That is the kind of beauty saw.
[8:09]A beauty rooted in faith, in unity, and in standing strong together.
[8:15]Let's protect that beauty.
[8:16]Let's build that space and let's leave behind something that outlives us
[8:20]all.
[8:21]Inshallah, may Allah accept your presence, your donations, your tears, and your
[8:24]intentions tonight.
[8:25]And now, it is my great honor to welcome someone who needs
[8:28]no introduction.
[8:29]A person who has been not just a scholar, but a brother,
[8:33]a mentor, and a favorite leader to so many of us, young
[8:36]and old, in this great community.
[8:37]Please help me welcome Say Kazwini to the podium with three of
[8:44]your loudest salawats.
[8:58]Thank you.
[9:06]Alhamdulillah.
[9:20]I saw Allah [Music] [Music] Why?
[10:15][Music] the finan and [Music] [Music] the All [Music] for the love
[11:22]of Imam Hussein and his holy household.
[11:28][Music] The human being is inherently social.
[11:37]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has programmed us to enjoy socializing, enjoy social
[11:49]gatherings, yearn to be with people, spending time with people.
[11:54]This is something that is very natural for every human being to
[12:03]socialize and enjoy the company of other people.
[12:05]So we see that our lives are defined by our relationships.
[12:13]We have many relationships in life and the way that we deal
[12:19]with these relationships or who we relate with and who we build
[12:26]a companionship, a friendship, a partnership with that will define our lives.
[12:33]And we see that the more successful a person is in building
[12:41]a healthy relationship, the more successful they will be in their life.
[12:45]If you build healthy relationships in life, if you have strong healthy
[12:55]bonds in life, then you will be able to go up the
[12:58]ladder of success.
[13:00]And likewise we see if someone does not have healthy relationships, if
[13:07]someone is not sociable, if someone is constantly fighting with this person
[13:12]and that person, that will impact their own success in life.
[13:15]That will impact their ability to reach their highest potential.
[13:20]This is why when we look at the prophets of Allah subhanahu
[13:26]wa ta'ala, we see that they were very social individuals and in
[13:31]carrying out their message and carrying out their agenda, they made sure
[13:36]that they did not deliver the message on their own.
[13:42]They built a social community.
[13:44]They took companions that helped them and supported them in delivering their
[13:52]message.
[13:50]Look at for example yes he was great in himself in building
[13:58]the religion of Islam.
[14:02]However he himself Allah he says I built the religion of Islam
[14:11]the religion of Islam stood with the wealth of Khadijah and the
[14:18]sword and the defense of Ali Abalib.
[14:20]And here we see the role of the companionship, the role of
[14:24]the relationship that Allah had with Khadijah.
[14:28]Allah sallallahu alaihi would never forget Khadijah.
[14:33]Many years after her death, Allah would constantly remember Khadijah.
[14:37]Some of his other wives, they would object.
[14:40]They would tell him, "Yahoolah, you keep remembering this old lady Khadijah
[14:46]when Allah has replaced you with younger woman, better women." He says,
[14:50]"No, Allah did not replace me with better woman.
[14:52]Khadijah believed in me when no one did.
[14:55]She sacrificed for me when no one did.
[14:58]She gave me her wealth when no one did.
[15:00]And she gave me children when the other woman did not.
[15:03]So you see here's the role of a healthy relationship in helping
[15:12]uplift and giving him the strength and the support to deliver the
[15:17]message of Islam.
[15:17]Likewise we see prophet Musam prophet MS Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala commissioned
[15:24]him and sent him to go and confront Allah tells him go
[15:33]to and you have to give him that wakeup call he needed
[15:41]help he needed support he needed a companion even though he's a
[15:45]prophet of God but He needed that support.
[15:48]So he says, he says, "Oh Allah, give me the strength and
[16:03]give me the support and give me the ability to remove the
[16:07]knot from my tongue so that I could become eloquent." And then
[16:13]he says, "Give me a supporter from my family." Who?
[16:17]My brother.
[16:19]Why?
[16:20]He says, he says, "Give me that support.
[16:31]Give me that companionship from my brother Harun." And Allah subhana wa
[16:37]ta'ala gave him Harun.
[16:37]So this shows you if you have healthy relationships, you can reach
[16:42]your highest potential.
[16:45]And if you have a relationship that is unhealthy, if you have
[16:49]a relationship that is broken, that will cause pain and suffering for
[16:59]you and it will not it will stop you from reaching your
[17:01]highest potential.
[17:03]And it could be potentially destructive for the surroundings and for your
[17:08]environment.
[17:06]Look at Prophet Ysef.
[17:09]Prophet Ysef was a prophet of God, but he had brothers who
[17:13]were toxic.
[17:14]He had brothers that were jealous.
[17:16]He had brothers that could not stand him.
[17:19]They ended up destroying their lives and destroying his life for 40
[17:23]years.
[17:24]Separating Ysef from Yakub and bringing that calamity upon a prophet of
[17:29]Allah upon two prophets of Allah.
[17:35]Look at another relationship.
[17:36]Abuab Abu Lahab is the uncle of Sai meaning that he could
[17:40]have benefited from the prophet.
[17:42]He could have benefited from the prophet in a way that no
[17:46]one has benefited before.
[17:47]He's his uncle.
[17:48]Yet Abu Lahab turned against the prophet.
[17:51]He would accuse Allah.
[17:53]He would call the prophet a magician and a sorcerer.
[17:55]And he would bring his wife Jam who was the sister of
[18:01]Abu Sufyan.
[18:02]He would bring his wife and she would throw pieces of wood
[18:06]with sharp pieces of sticks and and uh bark from the tree
[18:09]with sharp thorns on.
[18:14]this man Abuab who could have benefited from that relationship where the
[18:21]prophet is his uncle where he is the uncle of the prophet
[18:23]the prophet is his nephew yet he turned that into a and
[18:29]this is what we were talking about yesterday and Allah subhanahu wa
[18:34]ta'ala brought down a whole in the Quran shaming Another example are
[18:56]two wives of two of God's greatest prophets.
[19:01]The wife of N and the wife of L.
[19:08]Allah says in the Quran Allah says look at these two women
[19:23]they were the wives of the prophets but they betrayed the prophets.
[19:28]They would actively work against the message of the prophets of Allah
[19:33]subhanahu wa ta'ala.
[19:32]And this shows you how if a relationship is not healthy, if
[19:40]a relationship goes sour, then it will bring destruction and suffering for
[19:45]everyone.
[19:47]And my dear brothers and sisters, today we want to talk about
[19:54]a sensitive topic and that is the topic of abuse within relationships.
[19:59]We see he was abused by Abu Lahab.
[20:06]We see Ysefam he was abused by his brothers.
[20:08]You see prophet Noah and prophet L they were abused by their
[20:16]wives and everyone ended up feeling the pain.
[20:21]Everyone ended up suffering.
[20:22]The son of Noah ends up deflecting and he leaves his father
[20:27]and he tells his father I'm going to go on the mountain.
[20:31]That's what's going to save me.
[20:33]Allah noisam he tells him nothing will save you from these waves.
[20:36]Nothing will save you from this water.
[20:38]Come and ride the ark with us.
[20:42]Yet he refused.
[20:43]And abusive relationships they are most painful.
[20:49]They are very hard to forgive and very hard to forget when
[20:55]they are from the closest people to you.
[20:58]If it's someone who's far, if it's someone who lives in a
[21:00]different country that is not even related to you, that has nothing
[21:05]to do with you, you're not going to care.
[21:08]It's not going to bother you.
[21:09]But when someone is close, when it's within the family, when it's
[21:14]within a marriage, when it's within a the same household, then it
[21:18]becomes very painful.
[21:21]Then it causes anxiety and it causes suffering and it is something
[21:27]that is very painful and damaging to this dunya and to the
[21:32]there was a man during the life of sah from the ansar
[21:37]they came and they told the prophet there's a young man he's
[21:40]dying but his soul does not come out you know sometimes some
[21:47]people they're in the process of dying and it's taking hours, days,
[21:51]weeks, months.
[21:53]This man was dying and he is unable to utter the shahada.
[21:58]So they told Allah, "Come and see if you could you're you're
[22:02]a source of mercy.
[22:02]Come and see if you could talk to this person." Allah comes
[22:08]to him.
[22:10]He tells him, the man is in a whole different world.
[22:14]He asked, "Where is this man's mother?" There was a lady right
[22:20]near him.
[22:21]She said, "I'm right here." Allah looked at her.
[22:24]He tells her, "You're his mother?" She says, "Yes, I'm his mother."
[22:27]He tells her, "Are you pleased with him?
[22:29]Are you satisfied with him?" She thinks for a second.
[22:35]And then she said, "Yeah, no, I'm not.
[22:38]It's been six years we have not spoken to each other.
[22:40]It's been six years.
[22:44]He has neglected me.
[22:44]He has become abusive towards me through his talk, through his words,
[22:49]through his insults.
[22:51]And he went and he got married and now he comes and
[22:56]he throws me.
[22:58]He doesn't even care about me.
[23:00]He totally abandons me and neglects me.
[23:02]Allah tells her, "This is the reason why he's unable to say
[23:07]the shahada.
[23:08]This is the reason why he is suffering.
[23:11]Do you want him to be relieved of his pain?" She says
[23:15]yes.
[23:14]Then he Allah tells her then you have to forgive him.
[23:18]She says yeah Allah it's too difficult to forgive him.
[23:23]He caused me too much pain.
[23:24]He caused me too much hurt too much sleepless nights as a
[23:28]result of his words as a result of his actions.
[23:32]Allah he wanted to show her the impact of her not being
[23:38]pleased with him.
[23:40]So he tells the Muslims, he says, "Bring some firewood and light
[23:43]it on fire and throw him in the fire." She says, "He's
[23:47]my son.
[23:47]He's my boy.
[23:49]Throw him in the fire." Allah tells her, "Yes, if you are
[23:52]not pleased with him, he's going to be thrown in the fire
[23:56]that is much worse than this.
[23:58]He's going to be thrown in the fire of Jahannam." So right
[24:02]away the lady, she said, "I will be pleased with him." Then
[24:06]suddenly that young man his eyes opened.
[24:10]He's still suffering but he's now he's receptive.
[24:13]Now he could hear the prophet.
[24:15]Now he could have a commun a conversation with Allah.
[24:22]Allah tells him repeat after me.
[24:22]And this is a dua that is mentioned at the moment of
[24:25]death.
[24:35]Oh, he who accepts the very little and forgives the very much
[24:41]wrong that we do, accept the little from me and forgive the
[24:45]many wrongdoings that I have done.
[24:47]This young man, he begins to utter these words.
[24:57]Suddenly, the man he's his mouth opens.
[25:03]He's able to speak.
[25:04]Allah tells him, "What do you see?" He says, "I was being
[25:09]choked.
[25:10]I saw this very ugly figure choking me.
[25:13]I was unable to speak.
[25:14]As I started reciting this dua, that ugly figure left me and
[25:18]now I see a beautiful figure coming towards me and the man
[25:25]was able to say the shahada and pass away." This, my dear
[25:30]brothers and sisters, shows you us the immediate impact of a relationship
[25:34]that has gone sour.
[25:36]Something that many of us undermine.
[25:39]Many of us don't care for if my parents are happy with
[25:44]me or not.
[25:45]Some people they don't care.
[25:47]Some people days and weeks and months months pass and they are
[25:51]careless whether their parents are pleased with them or not.
[25:56]This is one of the immediate impacts that a person sees in
[26:00]this dunya.
[26:01]My dear brothers and sisters, as we talk about relationships, we need
[26:08]to know what are the red flags of abuse within a relationship.
[26:12]Sometimes this relationship could be between friends, between co-workers.
[26:18]Sometimes it's between a husband and a wife.
[26:22]Sometimes it's between parents and their children.
[26:26]There are red flags for abusive relationships.
[26:31]And an intelligent person, a smart person is is supposed to supposed
[26:38]to sometimes it's not in your control is supposed to try to
[26:43]avoid putting themselves in situations where they are with people that are
[26:47]going to be harmful to them.
[26:48]And this is one of the things that people will regret on
[26:53]the day of judgment.
[26:52]Allah says in the Quran the day the on the day of
[27:03]judgment will bite out of regret on their hands and they will
[27:05]say I wish I had followed the prophet.
[27:12]Woe be upon me.
[27:13]Why did I take this person as a companion?
[27:16]Why did I take this person as a partner in life?
[27:20]As someone who I spent time with.
[27:23]This is why it's very important to recognize red flags.
[27:25]If you're getting married, recognize a red flag before you get married.
[27:28]A lot of people after they get married, they say, "I I
[27:32]saw all of these red flags, but I ignored them." Why?
[27:34]Because I was in love.
[27:37]ignored all the red flags.
[27:37]We're they were unable to see all the red flags.
[27:42]Or sometimes some people they go in a business deal.
[27:45]They go and they sign on a business deal and then that
[27:47]person ends up to be abusive.
[27:48]That person ends up to be someone who's dangerous, someone who's a
[27:53]thief.
[27:53]And then they come and they say, "I lost all this money.
[27:55]I didn't recognize.
[27:58]I didn't see the red flags." It's very important if you want
[28:01]to be successful in life to have healthy relationships.
[28:04]And if you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to
[28:08]be able to recognize the red flags that scream abuse.
[28:13]The red flags that show you that there is some type of
[28:16]abuse in that relationship.
[28:18]What are some of the signs of abuse?
[28:21]Number one, a person who wants to totally dominate your life.
[28:30]A person who wants 100% control of your life.
[28:35]Whether this is in a marriage, whether this is in a friendship,
[28:38]whether this is a business deal, whatever it is, this type of
[28:42]person you should avoid at all costs because this person could cause
[28:48]emotional damage.
[28:49]This person could cause psychological damage.
[28:53]This person could destroy your life by trying to have 100% control.
[28:57]And this is what they refer to as narcissistic behavior.
[29:01]There are some people they're like that.
[29:05]They like to have 100% control.
[29:06]And this is a sign of a deficiency from inside.
[29:10]They feel weak.
[29:10]They feel that they don't have control.
[29:12]So they come and they take it out.
[29:13]For example, on a friend, in the in the marriage, in a
[29:18]relationship, wherever it is, they come and they try to take it
[29:21]out on other people.
[29:23]No one has control over you.
[29:25]Allah subhana wa ta'ala created you and Allah gave you the mind
[29:28]and Allah gave you the intellect and the heart and Allah showed
[29:31]you the way.
[29:35]No one could control you.
[29:38]Even when it comes to religion, even when it comes to faith,
[29:40]there is no control in faith.
[29:43]No one could force you to believe in what you believe.
[29:46]No one could force you to love.
[29:46]No one could force you to hate.
[29:53]There is no control.
[29:57]There's no full authority unless there is an exception.
[30:00]There are several small exceptions and these exceptions they have limitations.
[30:05]There's no one has full authority over any person.
[30:10]What are these exceptions?
[30:12]This is what scholars refer to as will.
[30:15]Who has will over you?
[30:19]Who has authority over you?
[30:20]But even those individuals that have authority and will over the person
[30:24]they don't have full authority without any limitations.
[30:28]One person who has wa is a father.
[30:35]The father has will over his children until they become bal until
[30:40]they reach the age of puberty.
[30:42]The father has will and authority over his children.
[30:48]Why?
[30:47]Because it's the duty of the father to protect the children.
[30:50]It's the duty of the father to feed the children.
[30:55]It's the duty of the father to see that the children are
[30:57]in safe hands in a safe place.
[30:59]And this is why Allah subhana wa ta'ala gives wa to the
[31:04]father until the children become balik.
[31:07]After they become balik the father does not have the father has
[31:11]the ability to give advice.
[31:13]The father has the authority to give suggestions.
[31:19]This is with regards to the children.
[31:21]Now scholars add that the father has wa over his daughter until
[31:28]as long as she's a virgin.
[31:30]In the case of marriage, in the case of relationships, the father
[31:34]has wa and authority.
[31:37]Why?
[31:38]Because the father, he is the one who should see the best
[31:40]interest of the daughter.
[31:43]When someone comes and proposes, the father who cares for the daughter,
[31:47]he has the authority not to dictate who she marries, not to
[31:50]say you marry this person and that person.
[31:53]The father does not have that.
[31:55]The father has the will to veto certain individuals that he sees
[31:59]they are not qualified.
[32:02]They are not fitting.
[32:02]Now if someone came and they were qualified and they were fitting
[32:06]then even the father if there was no reason no sound reason
[32:11]for him rejecting then even the father scholars say would not have
[32:15]wa if there was no justifiable reason.
[32:18]There has to be a justifiable reason then the father could only
[32:24]veto but otherwise the father does not have the full will in
[32:28]controlling who a person marries.
[32:30]And we see that when came to marry Fatam he went and
[32:39]he asked Fat.
[32:42]He tells her the one who you know has come and asked
[32:44]for your hand in marriage.
[32:47]So what do you say?
[32:48]She remained quiet.
[32:50]He he saw and he understood from her that she was pleased
[32:53]and satisfied with this.
[32:56]Another type of willlaya we said the the father has willa over
[33:01]the children boys and girls until they become balik and the father
[33:04]has will second over the daughter if she's a virgin until she
[33:08]gets married and third the husband has willlaya and authority over the
[33:17]wife.
[33:15]Now here this a lot of people they come and they say
[33:20]they don't know where the limitations of this waah is.
[33:24]Some people they believe that the husband has full wlayah.
[33:26]This is wrong.
[33:28]This is going too extreme.
[33:29]And there's others they come and they try to take away all
[33:33]of the for the husband.
[33:33]And this is also wrong.
[33:34]This is extreme.
[33:36]There has to be balance.
[33:36]And where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given authority to the husband
[33:42]is when it comes to protection because this is the duty of
[33:48]the husband.
[33:46]It's his duty to protect is it's his duty to give the
[33:52]to provide to support.
[33:53]Therefore, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given the husband authority over his
[33:58]wife because it's the duty of the husband to spend on the
[34:13]wife.
[34:14]Therefore, he has certain a specific level, a limited level of authority
[34:18]as if he is the one who has the steering wheel.
[34:22]Imagine if you're driving a car, how many people could have the
[34:25]steering wheel of the car?
[34:25]One person could have the husband, Allah subhana wa ta'ala has given
[34:33]that the husband that responsibility.
[34:34]Now does this mean that because Allah has given the husband that
[34:38]responsibility then that means he gets to he gets full control and
[34:46]full authority and 100% dictatorship.
[34:49]No, a marriage, a relationship, a business, any type of relationship, it
[34:54]requires cooperation, it requires agreement, it requires dialogue, speaking to one another,
[34:58]trying to see what's in the mind of the other person, what
[35:03]the other person is thinking.
[35:03]Because now especially in a family when one person makes a decision
[35:09]it affects everyone else in the family.
[35:11]So this is why a healthy family is one that makes a
[35:13]decision together.
[35:16]This is number one.
[35:17]One of the first signs of abuse is when someone likes to
[35:24]dominate.
[35:25]When someone likes to fully control everything in the relationship.
[35:28]This is something that is extremely unhealthy and damaging to the relationship.
[35:33]Number two, as soon as you see assault, any type of assault,
[35:39]whether it's verbal assault or physical assault, this is something that not
[35:46]only is it haram, but it is something that is extremely damaging
[35:50]and hurtful within any type of relationship.
[35:55]And when we look at the life of Allah, when we look
[36:00]at the life of the you see that they were always, even
[36:04]though they had disputes, even though they had arguments in Allah mentions
[36:11]how the wives of the prophet would rebel against the prophet, how
[36:16]they would team up with each other and hurt the prophet and
[36:21]a whole surah surahim was brought down this and threatening them with
[36:25]a very threat threatening tone.
[36:26]But you see, in none of these cases didool Allah use foul
[36:30]language.
[36:31]In none of these cases did resort to physical abuse.
[36:39]Today, some people as soon as they get angry, all of the
[36:41]bad words come out of their mouth.
[36:42]As soon as they're upset, they start using they start using verbal
[36:49]assault.
[36:49]And this is something that is wrong.
[36:53]Put downs.
[36:51]This is a type of abuse.
[36:54]When you use put downs and you use insults and name calling,
[36:57]this is something that is very wrong and something that is haram
[37:02]in the Quran.
[37:04]Allah says in the Quran, don't curse.
[37:23]Don't use foul language.
[37:23]Don't even give nicknames.
[37:26]You know, sometimes you see this happening within a family, maybe between
[37:30]siblings, for example.
[37:30]They start calling another another person a nickname that this person is
[37:35]not comfortable with.
[37:36]This person does not like this is something that's haram.
[37:38]Allah says in the Quran, you know, when you say something to
[37:50]someone, this could be if it's insulting, if it's hurtful, this could
[37:55]be more painful than hitting that person.
[37:58]And says in aith, he says, "The stab of a tongue, it
[38:10]hurts more than the stab of a spear, than the stab of
[38:12]a sword." When you hurt someone with your tongue, and some people,
[38:17]they don't regulate their tongues.
[38:18]When they're angry, that's it.
[38:19]It's a loose cannon.
[38:20]They'll say whatever they want, anything that's on their mind.
[38:25]This is something haram.
[38:24]The hadith says that the majority of the people in the hellfire
[38:30]are in the hellfire because of their tongue.
[38:31]Because they could not control their tongue.
[38:34]And this is something that is damaging to a relationship.
[38:39]This is something that people could not forget.
[38:41]And we have to be very careful with that.
[38:43]And some people they resort to physical abuse.
[38:47]And this is something that is totally haram and totally unacceptable.
[38:51]Now you see some people they come and they say Islam tolerates
[38:57]and encourages men to beat their wives.
[39:00]Why?
[39:01]Because Allah says in verse 34 they say Allah says in the
[39:16]Quran hit them.
[39:15]So is mentioned in the Quran.
[39:18]Therefore, the religion of Islam and Allah allows that and tolerates that.
[39:23]This, my dear brothers and sisters, is not intended to mean in
[39:29]the way that is understood today.
[39:31]Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala would never order someone to abuse someone else.
[39:37]Allah is all loving.
[39:39]Allah is just.
[39:41]Why would Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala?
[39:43]That goes against the whole philosophy of Islam and the teachings in
[39:47]the Quran.
[39:46]Suddenly you have a disagreement with someone, you come and hit this
[39:51]person.
[39:50]And when we look at the life of Allah, when we look
[39:53]at the lives of the Alb, we see that this was something
[39:57]that they refrained from doing.
[39:58]In fact, he says the man who stretches his hands to hit
[40:02]his wife, it's as if he stretched his hands into the hellfire.
[40:08]And this is something that the religion of Islam does not tolerate.
[40:12]This is why scholars, they come and they say, "What does mean?"
[40:16]in the Arabic language has multiple meanings.
[40:19]One type of meaning is meaning walk away.
[40:25]When you have a problem with someone, walk away.
[40:29]When they when they say walk meaning he walked on the earth,
[40:32]he struck the ground and he walked on the earth.
[40:36]This is a this is one meaning.
[40:38]Another is meaning show that you're striking.
[40:40]Today if you you know you see people at the picket line
[40:43]they call that that's striking when someone goes on strike.
[40:49]So the Quran says meaning show that you are displeased show that
[40:54]you are unhappy.
[40:56]Now there are some narrations that would show that there is some
[41:01]type of physical use but this is severely restricted and limited that
[41:06]if it causes any change of color it causes pain it causes
[41:12]anything then this would have a kaf and this is something that
[41:15]is extremely haram.
[41:17]This is something that is forbidden.
[41:18]So the religion of Islam does not tolerate abuse, verbal abuse and
[41:25]the religion of Islam and the Quran does not tolerate physical abuse
[41:30]and these are from amongst the signs of someone that is abusive
[41:34]and this is one of the red flags in any type of
[41:41]relationship that you see.
[41:41]A third red flag is when you see someone is always selfish.
[41:47]Someone is always thinking about themselves.
[41:51]They're always concerned.
[41:51]Am I comfortable?
[41:53]Did I eat?
[41:53]Did I sleep?
[41:54]Did I enjoy my time?
[41:56]We go on a vacation.
[41:57]I'm the one who chooses where we go.
[41:59]We go here.
[42:00]I'm the one who chooses what we eat.
[42:02]I'm the one who chooses what the whole family eats.
[42:06]This is something that is also extremely toxic and abusive.
[42:10]And this is one of the signs of we were talking a
[42:17]few nights ago about hypocrisy.
[42:18]says the he waits to see what their family they want to
[42:30]eat and then he says okay this is what we're going to
[42:33]have and the the hypocrite he decides what we're eating and the
[42:36]whole house is going to have burgers tonight for example this is
[42:39]this is the the way that a person is when they're selfish
[42:47]when they are only obsessed with themselves and this is one of
[42:51]the signs of an abusive relationship.
[42:53]You know there are some people in any relationship whether it's in
[42:59]a business whether it's between friends between a husband and wife between
[43:04]parents and their kids.
[43:05]Some people they're very selfish.
[43:07]They don't want to inconvenience themselves for anyone else but they want
[43:12]the whole world to run miles for them.
[43:14]They want everyone to do what they want, but never ever willing
[43:17]to go out of their way to unc inconvenience themselves for someone
[43:22]else.
[43:23]And this is something that is very common, especially in marriages because
[43:28]in a marriage there's a balance of responsibilities.
[43:33]There are duties that the wife has, there are duties that the
[43:39]husband has.
[43:38]Today we live in a world where those people don't people get
[43:42]married and they don't even know what their responsibilities are.
[43:45]They don't know what their Islamic responsibilities are.
[43:47]They know what Instagram tells them how to you know where you
[43:51]buy the wedding dress and things like that but they don't know
[43:53]anything about the duties and the Islamic rights and responsibilities within the
[44:00]marriage.
[44:00]Every single person has needs especially in a relationship within a family.
[44:05]People have emotional needs.
[44:08]People have psychological needs.
[44:09]People have social needs.
[44:10]People have physical needs.
[44:14]These are all needs.
[44:13]And if they are not met within a family, within a household,
[44:17]then that consists of a type of abuse.
[44:21]You know, I have probably there's always people coming and telling me
[44:29]their stories and and people they're dealing with problems in life from
[44:34]the complaints that many women come.
[44:37]They come and they say we don't have our emotional needs are
[44:40]never met by our husbands.
[44:41]The husband doesn't know how to meet the emotional need.
[44:46]One word I love you, one kind word, one kindness.
[44:48]This would be enough to change her her whole heart.
[44:51]This would be enough to change everything.
[44:53]And a lot of the brothers, the husbands, they come, they say
[44:58]our physical needs are never met.
[45:00]This is this is a reality as well.
[45:06]And the both are a type of abuse.
[45:09]Both are a type of abuse.
[45:09]When you do not give the other person in the relationship what
[45:13]they need, what they signed up for, what you did a kbikab
[45:18]for, what you agreed on doing when you got married.
[45:22]This consists of abuse.
[45:23]And when there's abuse, there's pain.
[45:26]And the pain will cause more and more pain.
[45:31]it will lead to a cycle of pain and heartbreak.
[45:34]So this is why it's very important when you get into any
[45:39]type of relationship, any type of relationship with whoever whoever you have
[45:44]a relationship with, recognize what are your responsibilities and what are your
[45:48]duties.
[45:48]I need to know what my responsibilities are.
[45:51]And I need to ask myself, am I truly fulfilling all of
[45:54]my responsibilities and duties in this relationship or am I not?
[45:58]you answer yourself.
[46:00]If you are, then good for you.
[46:03]And if you're not, then you need to see why you are
[46:08]being abusive in that relationship.
[46:09]Number four, my dear brothers and sisters, one of the signs of
[46:15]abuse in a relationship is when some people they always like to
[46:19]throw the blame on others.
[46:20]There are some people maybe 30 years, 40 years they're married, never
[46:26]once do they admit that they made a mistake.
[46:29]Never once do they want to admit that it was their fault.
[46:33]I made the mistake.
[46:33]Always it's the other person.
[46:34]Always the other person, they are at fault.
[46:37]They are the ones who started it.
[46:39]They are the ones who in they and this is one of
[46:43]the signs of abusive relationships because at the end of the day,
[46:45]am I a masum?
[46:47]No, I'm not a masum.
[46:47]Do I make mistakes?
[46:49]Yes, I do make mistakes.
[46:50]Then why am I not willing to admit that I made mistakes
[46:54]with the closest people to me, with the people that love me,
[46:57]with the people that care for me, with the people that want
[47:02]what is my best interest in mind.
[47:03]But there are some people they will look at everyone else's mistakes,
[47:09]never once looking at the mirror, never once recognizing their own faults.
[47:15]And this is also one of the signs of a hypocrite.
[47:21]The hypocrite always looks at others but the mmin they're willing to
[47:27]admit that they have committed wrong.
[47:30]They're willing to accept the reality.
[47:31]This is another point.
[47:34]And the fifth point my dear brothers and sisters and this is
[47:38]one you read these articles about abuse and about neglect and abandonment
[47:42]and all of that.
[47:44]They mention all of these but they don't they failed to mention
[47:47]this point because the people that write these they don't have God
[47:51]in the equation.
[47:52]One type of abuse that here you see sociologists and psychologists they
[48:01]they ignore and they don't mention is depriving someone of spirituality.
[48:06]That is one major type of abuse within relationships.
[48:10]When you see one partner deprivives the other partner of praying to
[48:15]God, one partner deprivives the other partner of going to the masjid,
[48:23]one partner deprivives the other of building a healthy relationship with Allah
[48:25]subhana tala.
[48:27]This is a type of abuse.
[48:28]Today, if a father or a mother, they don't take their kids
[48:34]to school, what's going to happen?
[48:36]Child protective services, they're going to come and they're going to say,
[48:40]"This is abuse.
[48:39]you're not taking your child to the you're not taking your child
[48:44]to school.
[48:43]This is a type of abuse.
[48:46]But today when a father or mother they'll go and they'll put
[48:51]their kids in all types of sports.
[48:52]They'll go and they put their kids in all type of afterchool
[48:55]activities but then they bar and they do not allow and they
[49:02]do not register and they don't place their kids in a activity
[49:06]that teaches them how to pray.
[49:07]For example, in a program that teaches them the importance of salah,
[49:14]how to pray, their their isn't this a type of abuse as
[49:17]well?
[49:18]Yes.
[49:19]Just as not taking your kids to school is seen by the
[49:24]child protective services as a type of abuse, not teaching your children
[49:28]their and their religion and their salah is also a type of
[49:32]abuse.
[49:31]This is also a type of abuse.
[49:35]And this happens in many relationships.
[49:36]This happens in many bonds and this is one major type of
[49:44]abuse.
[49:45]There's a story during the life of Muhammad.
[49:54]One day the prophet, one day he comes in the masjid and
[50:07]he sees a young man who looked homeless.
[50:10]This young man is sitting and he's wrapped himself with what looks
[50:15]like a blanket ripped in half, one on the bottom and one
[50:18]on the top.
[50:20]Allah, he looked at him.
[50:23]He tells him, "You look new.
[50:25]who are you?
[50:25]He tells him, my name is Abdul Buham.
[50:29]Bam is a name of an idol.
[50:32]My name is Abdim.
[50:33]He tells him, "What's your story?" The young man tells Allah, "I
[50:40]have been living with my uncle.
[50:42]My father died many years ago and my uncle has has taken
[50:48]me in and he takes care of me." And he told me,
[50:52]"I will give you a job.
[50:53]I will give you clothing.
[50:53]I will give you a wife.
[50:55]I will give you everything that you need.
[50:58]You just have to obey me.
[51:00]He says, I was working for my uncle until we heard about
[51:03]the hijra of Allah and the holy prophet is in Medina.
[51:07]He says, I was taking care of the cattle for my uncle.
[51:10]I entered into Medina and I began to hear the Quran.
[51:15]I I heard you reciting the Quran and I became attracted to
[51:20]the Quran and I saw many people joining the religion of Islam.
[51:24]So I go to my uncle and I tell him, "You're older
[51:29]than me.
[51:28]Let's both of us go together and join the religion of Islam.
[51:32]This is a very beautiful religion.
[51:34]It makes sense.
[51:34]There's no abuse.
[51:37]There's no neglect.
[51:37]The Holy Prophet, he speaks common sense.
[51:40]He's kind to everyone." He said, "My uncle told me, be careful.
[51:45]I don't want to hear this from you again.
[51:47]You go next to Muhammad and you believe in him.
[51:51]I'm going to take away everything from you.
[51:54]Everything.
[51:55]I'm going to take it away from you." He says, "I would
[52:00]secretly come and listen to you until that's it.
[52:04]I had had I had enough.
[52:06]I went and I told my uncle, you know what?
[52:09]I'm going to accept the religion of Islam.
[52:11]You want to deprive me of this spirituality.
[52:13]You want to deprive me of this prayer.
[52:15]You want to deprive me of listening to the Quran.
[52:18]That's it.
[52:19]I'm going to accept.
[52:20]The uncle tells him then give me everything.
[52:23]He took everything from me.
[52:24]Even the clothing that I was wearing, even the clothes that I
[52:27]was wearing, he took it.
[52:30]He says, I go to my mother, not wearing anything.
[52:31]The mother, she rips up a blanket and she gives it to
[52:36]him and she tells him, "Here, cover yourself with this." Abuja.
[52:39]She cover he covers himself with that.
[52:42]And then he says, "And here I am.
[52:46]I came to you homeless, not owning anything, deprived of everything that
[52:51]I have because I want to be with you." Allah tells him,
[52:55]"You are not Abdim anymore.
[52:56]You are Abdullah." Abdullah, this is he's known as one of the
[53:03]Sahabah of the prophet Abdullah Bujad.
[53:05]He was a young man.
[53:09]He would sit and recite the Quran in the masjid.
[53:14]One day, he sees him reciting the Quran and he tells him,
[53:16]"Sh, you're being too loud." Allah tells tells him, "Leave him." Oh,
[53:21]he is from those who have returned.
[53:25]He is from those that have migrated.
[53:28]He is from those that have sacrificed so much to be with.
[53:32]Leave him.
[53:34]Let him recite the Quran.
[53:35]They say that this young man when the expedition of Tabuk when
[53:40]the prophet ordered all of the Muslims to go to Tabuk, he
[53:43]joined the prophet and he would keep coming to Allah and he
[53:49]would tell the prophet Allah pray for me that I'm granted shahada.
[53:51]Pray for me that I'm granted martyrdom.
[53:54]You see in this life some people run away from shahada and
[53:58]there are people that run towards shahada.
[54:00]He tells the prophet pray for me that I'm granted shahada.
[54:05]Allah does a dua for him.
[54:07]He tells him, "Ishallah, you will be fine." They go to Tabuk.
[54:09]There was no fighting.
[54:11]There was no There was no fighting.
[54:13]They end up coming back.
[54:14]This young man, he has a fever and he passes away.
[54:21]And in front of the whole Muslim army, he goes in the
[54:24]grave and he buries him and he does a dua for him.
[54:29]Abdullahbas he says I looked at him in the grave and I
[54:30]saw the love and the compassion that Allah was showing him.
[54:36]I said I wish I was in the grave in his position
[54:40]to be to receive this type of love and affection from su.
[54:46]This is a man who endured abuse.
[54:51]A man who endured neglect, probably physical assault, emotional assault, all the
[54:56]types of abuse, spiritual abuse, yet he came to be with Sam.
[55:06]Wasam.
[55:05]This is an example of someone that had dealt with abuse.
[55:10]Now my dear brothers and sisters, when it comes to abuse in
[55:15]a relationship, say someone comes and tells you, I'm in an abusive
[55:17]relationship.
[55:18]Is there a way to get out?
[55:20]Is there a way to escape from the abusive relationship?
[55:26]First of all, my dear brothers and sisters, there are there is
[55:31]a relationship hierarchy.
[55:31]There are some bonds that are stronger than other bonds.
[55:34]There are some bonds that you break it, it's okay.
[55:39]Your school at friend, if you at your friend at school, you
[55:41]saw that this person is leading you away from Allah, this person
[55:45]is toxic, this person is wrong, leave this person.
[55:46]That's the easiest thing.
[55:49]But there are other ties that you can't just turn your back
[55:52]on.
[55:53]There are some bonds that you can't just, you know, pack your
[55:58]bags and leave.
[55:58]There are some people that you are tied with.
[56:03]There's blood.
[56:06]There's and you can't leave your that easily.
[56:07]But there are rules.
[56:11]One rule comes and says that means I do not obey a
[56:21]single person no matter who that person was.
[56:23]Even if this is my father, even if this is my mother,
[56:25]whoever this person is, if it's at the expense of disobeying God,
[56:34]then there's no obedience to any of God's creation.
[56:38]No one could come and say well they told me to do
[56:43]this.
[56:43]No, there is no excuse to disobey Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
[56:46]This is number one.
[56:46]Second, every single person is entitled to live a life of dignity,
[56:54]a life of honor.
[56:59]And no one has the right to take away your dignity and
[57:04]your honor from you.
[57:05]And you have the right to live an honorable life.
[57:09]You have the right to live a dignified life with honor with
[57:13]respect.
[57:14]This is something that Allah subhana wa ta'ala has given you and
[57:19]no one could take that away from you.
[57:22]This is why Im Hussein went and fought Yazid because he wanted
[57:24]the ummah to be liberated because he wanted the um to live
[57:27]an honorable life.
[57:30]Today you see some people because of social media, because of talking
[57:34]to this person and that person, they are willing to disgrace themselves
[57:38]and their family and their whole family honor just to make some
[57:42]money or become popular or become rich or whatever it is.
[57:47]This is what people do today.
[57:49]Islam comes and tells you live an honorable life.
[57:53]Adam.
[57:55]So if you see someone taking away from your honor and your
[58:01]dignity and your karma, then you have the right to distance yourself
[58:05]from this person.
[58:08]You have the right to distance yourself.
[58:09]Yes.
[58:10]If it is for example your parents, no, you cannot totally disconnect
[58:18]with your parents.
[58:18]Allah subhana wa ta'ala says in the Quran, If your parents are
[58:29]ordering you to associate a partner with God, you don't obey them
[58:33]in that.
[58:35]However, however, you have to always treat them with love.
[58:40]You have to always treat them with compassion.
[58:43]Even if they are, even if they are kufur, you have to
[58:46]treat them with love and respect.
[58:50]Yes.
[58:48]If they're directly hurting you, then you distance yourself away.
[58:55]No one puts themselves in the way of danger.
[58:58]Now, what about if it comes to a relationship that is not
[59:03]with your parents, for example, between a husband and wife?
[59:06]Now, yes, in Islam, as a last resort, divorce is allowed.
[59:11]But this should be the last resort that a person takes, especially
[59:15]if you have kids, especially if you have family.
[59:19]Today people call me and they say say I want to get
[59:23]divorced.
[59:22]What is it something that easy?
[59:25]Why didn't you think about this relationship?
[59:27]Why didn't you think about this person before you got married?
[59:31]Now that you have kids, now that you have a family, you
[59:32]think it's that easy.
[59:35]You know, when you are rushing into a divorce, you are being
[59:39]abusive towards your family.
[59:41]You are being neglectful towards your family members.
[59:44]And this is why divorce is halal, but it is the worst
[59:51]type of halal in Islam.
[59:51]And whenever there's a disagreement, there are two sides to a story.
[59:55]This is why the Quran very logically comes and says, "You bring
[60:02]a a just judge from your side and let her bring a
[60:05]just from her side." Allah says, So Allah says if there's shik
[60:22]if you're afraid that there's going to be division bring a just
[60:26]go a just judge from her side and from his side and
[60:31]let them try to resolve the matters.
[60:33]Let them try to find a solution.
[60:36]Otherwise, a relationship you should not just be able to escape from
[60:43]any relationship.
[60:42]Especially if you spent years, if you spent so much money, if
[60:46]you spent so much time with this relationship, you can't just get
[60:51]up and leave.
[60:50]That is a toxic behavior to just get up and wanting to
[60:56]leave.
[60:56]That is abusive behavior.
[60:57]My dear brothers and sisters, the healthiest type of relationship is the
[61:03]relationship that brings you closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
[61:10]The relationships that remind you of God.
[61:12]And we see on the day of Ash and the days leading
[61:17]up to Ash bonds and relationships were forged not because of business,
[61:24]not because of interest, because of attraction, because of things in here
[61:29]and there.
[61:31]No, these relationships were forged purely for the love of Abdah Hussein.
[61:36]M Hussein he attracted people from all walks of life different people.
[61:44]You have Joan who was a freed slave.
[61:48]You have Abbis.
[61:47]You have Habibah.
[61:49]You have Wahab Kali.
[61:50]You have the kids, the young, the old, the woman.
[61:54]All of them.
[61:56]What brought them together?
[61:57]It was the love of Im Hussein.
[61:59]While 30,000 people on the side of the enemies, they gathered to
[62:09]abuse and abandon and neglect the grandson of Sai.
[62:12]You have a handful of people that decided to stick together even
[62:18]if they are going to be killed for the sake of Im
[62:23]Hussein.
[62:23]People that were very different.
[62:26]Im Hussein he brought them all.
[62:30]They all came to Kbalah.
[62:31]Today when we say salam to them we call them the shada
[62:36]the ansar of Im Hussein.
[62:36]We don't look at their stories.
[62:38]We don't look at what brought them there.
[62:41]But now what they did was they be they entered into that
[62:48]bond and they are Hussein.
[62:48]This is why when we say salam we say hussein they are
[63:01]the companions of Im Hussein and Im Hussein he says [Music] I
[63:13]don't know any companions more loyal than my companions.
[63:18]These were the companions of Im Hussein.
[63:23]One of them we mention his name on the day of Ashb.
[63:30]This man they say he was meaning when there was a disagreement
[63:36]between Im Ali and he sided with he was never from those
[63:44]who were loyal with and the B.
[63:46]He goes and he performs the Hajj and then he's going back
[63:53]to Kufa and he purposely tries to avoid Im Hussein.
[63:54]Im Hussein he stops in one place the Zer he goes and
[64:00]he camps another village down.
[64:01]Imam Hussein camps somewhere he goes and he camps the other place
[64:04]until one of their stops they ended up being next to each
[64:11]other.
[64:11]This is fate.
[64:10]This is destiny.
[64:12]They ended up being next to each other.
[64:15]Im Hussein he sends one of his messengers he tells him go
[64:18]and call Zuer to join us.
[64:21]Zuhir was known the messenger of Imam Hussein he goes and Zuhir
[64:26]was sitting with his family sitting with his friends and companions.
[64:30]The messenger comes and he tells him oh Zuerbah Abdah Hussein is
[64:37]calling you.
[64:37]Zohir who was trying to avoid Imam Hussein throughout this whole journey
[64:42]the messenger came right to him he sits he doesn't know what
[64:47]to do his wife Dham bin she comes to him she tells
[64:53]him oah what are you doing the grandson of the prophet has
[64:56]summoned you and you're sitting here waiting go and see what he
[64:58]wants so he goes he sits with the imam he has a
[65:04]conversation with the imam he comes back he comes comes back a
[65:10]totally different person.
[65:11]He comes and he tells them I am joining Imam Hussein.
[65:15]I don't know what you guys are doing.
[65:17]I am going to join Im Hussein.
[65:19]You guys are on your own.
[65:21]He goes and he joins the caravan of Im Hussein.
[65:26]And on the day of he goes and he speaks to the
[65:30]enemies and he tells them what are you doing killing the grandson
[65:36]of Al.
[65:36]He joins Im Hussein.
[65:38]And his wife Dalam, she also joins the woman with Imm Hussein.
[65:41]Zu was a very wealthy man.
[65:46]He was a very respected figure on the day of Ash.
[65:49]His wife, she had a slave with her.
[65:52]She goes and she tells the slave, I want you to cover
[65:57]the body of Zuer.
[65:57]Here, take this piece of cloth and cover the body of Zuer.
[66:02]Then she finds out that the body of Abah Abdullah was left
[66:09]uncovered and she tells him cover the body of Abah Abdullah.
[66:13]Look at this relationship where they all came to Im Hussein.
[66:20]Another of the companions of Im Hussein was Habibah.
[66:26]Habibnah.
[66:28]He was they say from the Sahabah of Sai one of the
[66:34]companions of the prophet the companions of and now he's an old
[66:41]man with Im Hussein and Im Hussein knows him he has a
[66:47]slave he tells the slave I want you to join Im Hussein
[66:52]and I'm going to escape from Kufa he sees his slave his
[66:59]servant talking to the horse.
[67:00]The he he's waiting outside the in the outskirts of Kufa.
[67:05]He hears the slave telling the horse, "If my master Khabib does
[67:08]not come, I'm going to ride you and I'm going to join
[67:13]the camp of Imam Hussein.
[67:14]I cannot continue waiting for Habib." Hhabib, he sees him, he catches
[67:18]up.
[67:19]He tell he says, "Subhan Allah Abdah, even the slaves, they want
[67:23]to give up their life in your cause.
[67:27]As he's approaching Hussein, he tells his companions, [Music] "Get up.
[67:36]Let us welcome our supporter.
[67:38]This is Habib.
[67:40]He has come to support Abbah Abdah." Hhabib enters.
[67:45]That day, Imm Hussein smiled because he saw Habib.
[67:50]He saw Khabib coming to join him.
[67:53]Then one of the one of the children he comes to and
[67:55]he tells him, "Ohib, my aunt Zab, she sends salam to you
[68:06]and she tells you Allah Allahbah ohib don't have shortcomings in the
[68:14]support of Abahhabib." He begins to say, "Who am I that Zab
[68:23]the daughter of Ali says salam to me?" Yes, I will defend
[68:26]you and I will be with you.
[68:28]Oh abdah.
[68:30]On the day of Ash or on the night of Ash, the
[68:35]companions, those who remained, they all pledged to remain with Abba Abdah
[68:40]until their last drop of blood has been spilled.
[68:44]They promised to be and remain with Im Hussein.
[68:49]On the day of Omar, he threw an arrow towards the camp
[68:55]of Aba Abdah.
[68:58]Then thousands of arrows began to fly towards the camp of Im
[69:02]Hussein.
[69:03]Abah, he tells his companions, [Applause] Oh my dear companions, stand for
[69:23]certain death.
[69:22]These arrows are the messengers of the enemies, messengers of death to
[69:26]you.
[69:28]There was a battle and in that battle 50 of the companions
[69:34]of Imam Hussein were killed.
[69:37]Imm Hussein, he looked and he began to cry and he begins
[69:42]to say, "The wrath of God is severe upon those who associated
[69:46]a partner with God and the wrath of God is also severe
[69:51]upon the ummah that gangs up on the grandson of Allah to
[69:58]kill him." Then the companions one by one they start seeking permission.
[70:02]And those who had remained one by one they begin seeking permission
[70:05]to go and fight the enemies.
[70:06]They go one after the other.
[70:09]Muslimbah he goes out and he begins to fight.
[70:16]He is struck.
[70:15]He falls down.
[70:17]Im Hussein and Habib they join him.
[70:19]They see him in his last breath.
[70:21]Hhabib tells him, "Oh Muslim, you are my friend.
[70:25]We have been close with one another this whole time.
[70:26]If I were to remain, what would you tell me?
[70:29]What type of advice would you tell me?
[70:35]Muslimb pointed to Im Hussein and he tells him Habib I want
[70:43]you to support this Mloom Aba Abdah.
[70:45]Habib tells him rest assured that I will give my life in
[70:52]defense of Abah Abdullah.
[70:52]The companions one after the other they were killed.
[70:57]There was a Christian couple.
[70:58]They had just they had just joined the religion of Islamabi and
[71:03]his mother and his wife they had just joined the religion of
[71:08]Islam that his mother she comes to him she tells him yeah
[71:11]we just joined the religion of Islam I want you to go
[71:16]and give up your life in the way of Abah tells her
[71:20]of course his wife she told him no don't go we just
[71:25]got married you're going to leave me he disregarded his wife's objection
[71:29]ctions and he goes and he fights courageously.
[71:34]Then suddenly from near the tents he hears his wife telling him
[71:42]fight in defense of Abba Abdah.
[71:46]He comes to her.
[71:47]He tells her you were discouraging me from fighting.
[71:50]Now you are encouraging me to fight.
[71:55]What has happened?
[71:53]She tells him, "Don't blame me." I saw Hussein standing next to
[72:06]the tent holding on his beard and he calls out, "We don't
[72:12]have any supporters.
[72:15]I want you to support Aba Abdullah and I will also support
[72:18]him." Wahab goes, his hands were cut off in the battle.
[72:23]He tells his mother and his wife, "Are you pleased with me?"
[72:26]They tell him, "Go and continue fighting until you are killed." Wahab
[72:31]was killed.
[72:32]Then his wife, she goes and she sits next to his body.
[72:38]She asks Allah, "Oh Allah, you granted Wahab the shahada.
[72:41]Grant me the jahada as well." A man comes and he strikes
[72:46]her and he kills her next to the body of her husband.
[72:49]A young child on that day.
[72:54]His father was already killed in the first fighting.
[72:58]He comes to Imam Hussein.
[73:00]He's wearing an armor.
[73:03]He's carrying a sword that he could barely carry.
[73:05]He tells Im Hussein, "Yeah, don't look at me as a child.
[73:12]I am ready to fight for you as well.
[73:14]I am ready to defend you as well." Imm Hussein.
[73:18]He tells his companions, "Send him back to his mother.
[73:21]She just lost her husband.
[73:22]She is bererieved by her husband.
[73:26]Let her enjoy having her son." The young man, he comes and
[73:30]he tells Im Hussein, "My mother is the one who sent me
[73:40]to you." Then the mother, she comes back holding her son's hand
[73:45]and she tells him, "Oh, how am I supposed to stand in
[73:58]front of your mother when I have not lost my son and
[74:00]she lost her son?" So, Imam Hussein, he gave the young man,
[74:06]the young child, he gave him permission.
[74:08]All of the fighters, they would go, they would des they would
[74:12]recite an epic saying their name, which family they're from.
[74:17]This young boy, he goes, and we will all recite together with
[74:25]this young child.
[74:21][Music] He says, "My master is [Music] he begins to fight them.
[74:53]They kill him and they throw his head to his mother." his
[74:56]mother.
[74:56]She takes the head and she begins to remove the blood and
[75:02]the soil from the head of her son and she tells him,
[75:04]"Oh my dear son, thank you.
[75:07]Now I could proudly stand in front of Fatima Zah on the
[75:12]day of judgment." She takes the sword.
[75:15]She takes the pole from the tent and she goes and she
[75:17]fights and she begins to say, Sharif.
[75:33]Imm Hussein.
[75:35]He sends Ali Akbar.
[75:36]He says, "Take her back with the tents of the woman and
[75:42]the children." Imm Hussein after all his companions were killed, he looked
[75:48]at the scattered bodies and he began to call them name by
[75:50]name.
[75:52]Yahib, yah.
[75:55]Muslim, yah, yahb.
[75:55]All of them one after the other.
[75:58]But there was no reply.
[76:02]Im Hussein began to say, [Music] [Music] Oh loyal men, get up
[76:29]and support me.
[76:31]I am left all alone.
[76:32]This was the most heartbreaking thing.
[76:35]Imm Hussein, he saw all of his companions killed.
[76:40]all of them one after the other and he called them but
[76:47]there was no response.
[76:59][Music] [Applause] [Music] Salami.
[77:19][Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] Alto together.
[78:02]Hussein [Music] Hussein.
[78:11][Music] [Music] Allah [Music] Allah Allah, oh Allah, bring victory to the
[79:08]Muslim wherever they are.
[79:08]Oh Allah, bring your support and victory to the Muslims that are
[79:12]suffering all over the world, especially in Gaza right now.
[79:18]Oh Allah, end the inhumane genocide that is going on right now
[79:23]against the Muslims by the love and the honor of Imam Hussein.
[79:28]Oh Allah, hasten the reappearance of the Imam of our time and
[79:33]make us from his loyal and sincere followers.
[79:36]Oh Allah grant us the z of Im Hussein and the shaf
[79:40]of Abdah Hussein and for the souls of all of the from
[79:47]the from the martyrs from all of those that their lives were
[79:54]taken away from them and all of the from all of those
[79:57]gathered here.
[80:30]Alsidan.
[80:54]He heart everyone.
[81:06]He All Hussein.
[81:44]Fore!
[81:52]Foreign!
[81:54]Foreign!
[82:03]He everyone heche and he [Music] bismus.
[83:06]May say he heart say he heartab.
[83:29]He heart May heart say heart.
[84:32]Hey heart.
[84:39]Allah season.
[85:06]Fore!
[85:13][Music] Foreign!
[85:16]Foreign!
[85:17]Foreign!
[85:38]heart.
[85:40]Heaven Allah for [Music] noar.
[86:33]heart.
[86:38]heart.
[86:41]heart.
[86:45]Alab [Music] Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein.
[87:02]Everyone Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein Hussein
[87:27]Hussein Hussein.
[87:34]Hussein.
[87:38]Hussein.
[87:38]Hussein.
[87:43][Music] Hussein Hussein Hussein mahusse mah mah mah husse mah Men [Music]
[88:38]mass ma.
[88:50]Send mass mus.
[89:01]Send mus.
[89:02]Send mass mus.
[89:10]Send musch.
[89:19][Music] [Applause] Allan foreign.
[90:15][Music] forever.
[91:03][Music]
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