⁣السيد منير الخباز - من وصايا السيد السيستاني لخطباء المنبر عدم التشهير بالمؤمنين إذا أخطاؤا

What’s the result?

There is a very important question for human beings! It is very stimulating! A person needs an answer to this question. What’s next? What’s the result? This question takes a person to the highest goal, “What’s the result?” I am a person who wants benefits. But, I have a question. I am a person who wants enjoyment. But, I have a question. This question should be answered. What’s the result?
A person needs the highest goal for his life, which will then prioritize all his lower goals. “Why do you buy a house?” “Because, we need a house.” “Why do you marry?” “Because, we have another need too.” “Why do you work?” “We need money too. Besides money, we need social recognition too.” “What’s the relation between social recognition and marriage?” “No relation. They may help each other in some cases.” “You’re brushing your hair?” He replies, “Hair improves my appearance, and I love beauty.” “What’s the relation between beauty and teeth?” “Nothing. This is another goal.” Such a person is the most wretched person in the world. Why? He’s a scattered person, a person who has several goals. Such a person is not in love. Even if such a person has thousands of such goals, and each is more or less important, his being is scattered. He is trying to reach several goals.
If a person has a higher goal, this goal will give direction to all his smaller goals, and all his short and long-term goals. You should find such a goal that will first of all satisfy your search for infinity to the extent that you don’t say anything else afterwards. You say, “Aha! This is the result?! Right!” You should find such a goal that will first of all satisfy your search for infinity to the extent that you don’t say anything else afterwards.
Psychologists say a human being needs such a goal. They say that the only answer that people have found for this goal is God. The psychologists have understood this too. God Himself is the only answer to this question, and no one can deceive himself. No one. As soon as you ask, “What’s the result?” God comes up like the sun, which gradually rises from behind the horizon at dawn. You will see God. He will show Himself to you. You will gain an interest in Him and gradually become fond of Him. Afterwards, a person finds calmness, and then he marries with calmness. Or, he does other things. He manages the world. He studies: math, engineering… But, he’s busy with God. Now, he knows why he is living!
Do you know what this means for our goal to be God? After we meet God on the Day of Judgement, will it be done? No, you will become thirsty to see God again. When you see Him again, it is as if you hadn’t seen God before that. Then, you become thirsty to see Him again, and again. When you see Him the next time, you say, “I didn’t know God until now!” How long will this continue? It will continue forever. And, only God can be like this. Each time he meets God, he doesn’t know how to describe it. During this period, the angels massage him too. They provide his house too. “Come here. Stay here.” But, everything is Him. Heaven is a hotel for those who meet God!

Only God is limitless. What does limitless mean? It means that each time you see Him, a part of Him is manifested to you, and God does not finish. God is the only existence Who never finishes. You’ll have the benefit of meeting Him forever. A human being is a creature with this innate desire. The divine prophets remove the dust from a human being’s innate desire so that he or she can ask one question, “What’s the result?!” A person wants to choose that superior goal so that he will find calmness and not say, “What’s the result?” afterwards. What will happen after choosing that superior goal? Afterwards, a person finds calmness, and then he marries with calmness. He manages the world. Now, he knows why he is living!


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The adverse effects of constant parental censure

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Some parents are constantly questioning their children who are students. Whenever he or she comes home from school or the father enters the house, the parents ask about the child’s studies and immediately tell him/her to study. They immediately blame him/her, “Why didn’t you study? Why aren’t you studying now? Why are you playing now?” They immediately ask about the children’s grades and blame them if their grades are low. They immediately compare them with others.
If parents do these things, it’s because of their compassion. But in doing this, they make their children hate studying. Plus, the children will start hating themselves too.
If immediately after returning home from school every day, or immediately after the father comes home every day, a child is questioned, preached to and punished, this isn’t useful. Why do you do this? It will get worse. A child will become fed up. Why? Because some ideas will become formed in his mind. [He’ll think,] “Father means punishment if you don’t study.” Having this idea about his father is not good, and the child will become distanced from him.
And yet, the reason behind these behaviors is that the parents are worried about their children and love them. They don’t care about other people’s studies and don’t direct others like this. They don’t care if others become wretched or become prosperous. The parents are worried about you, their child. This is the reason for their behavior, but this reason isn’t seen. What is seen? The bitterness of ordering, preaching, blaming, and checking up on them.
Dear parents, even when your child returns home after an exam, exams that are held occasionally, don’t ask them about it immediately. Say, “How was the weather? Did you play after your test?” Wait one or two hours, then ask, “By the way, how was your test?” so that they won’t feel stressed. Why am I saying this? Your child shouldn’t think you are just judging, checking, blaming and punishing him. So when parents want to train their child, they must be careful of the bitter feelings that may be created.
Training needs an introduction, should be occasional and must be done using different ways so as not to create negative feelings. If parents are constantly preaching, checking, blaming and asking about the child’s studies, he will start hating his parents and also hate his studies. He will also think negatively about the home, and the home environment will be irritating for him.

Becoming familiar with some of the sweet concepts of the Sha’baniya Supplication / Session 3


In the name of God, the Beneficent, the Merciful. In talking about the Sh’abaniya Supplication, we are still talking about the first phrase. There is a very lofty concept in the first phrase, which should be discussed separately. This concept is “Tadarru” (beseeching). The Commander of the Faithful, Ali (‘a), explicitly calls to the God of the universe, “I am standing between Your hands. I am poor before You and beseeching You.” I am standing in front of You like one who is very small and poor in front of one who is completely rich and great, “…and beseeching You.”
Beseeching is a term, which has been used seven times in the Holy Qur’an with the same meaning. Of course, it’s more than seven times. But, only in seven cases has it been used with exactly the same meaning of a person praying to God pleadingly. The fundamental meaning of beseeching is not crying. Crying is one of its results. It is the height of pleading, entreating, and being humble in front of the Almighty God. If we want to say the meaning, a person who beseeches is one who pleads a lot. A person who beseeches is one who doesn’t have any pride or assets. He’s extremely humble.
It has been said in the Holy Qur’an, “Already We have seized them with punishment, but they neither humbled themselves to their Lord, nor did they beseech Him.” [Qur’an 23:76] After feeling distress and destitution, they didn’t beseech God! In this supplication, it is as if by saying, “I am poor before You and beseeching You,” the Imam is answering this verse from the Chapter “The Believers.” The Qur’an says, “We have seized them with punishment, but they neither humbled themselves to their Lord...” Imam Ali replies here, “I am poor before You.” And the Qur’an says, “…nor did they beseech Him.” Imam Ali says in this supplication, “…and beseeching You.”
Beseeching has been mentioned in the Qur’an in different situations. Beseeching is a kind of pleading, which isn’t hidden anymore and is apparent. This broken heart shows itself, “Pray to your Lord beseechingly and in secret.” [Qur’an 7:55] This means to call God beseechingly, meaning openly, or hidden within yourself. There are other verses, which refer to this too.
The verse of the Chapter “The Cattle” is suitable for these days. “Why did they not entreat when Our punishment overtook them! But their hearts had hardened, and Satan had made to seem decorous to them what they had been doing.” [Qur’an 6:43] Why didn’t they beseech Us when our punishment overtook them? The Almighty God tells what He expects explicitly. When a divine tribulation comes, the servants should beseech Him. God is waiting to bring His servants under His shelter. In this verse, God asks why they didn’t beseech Him. The reason they didn’t beseech Him was that their hearts had become so hardened that they didn’t even go to God in tribulations, “Satan had made to seem decorous to them what they had been doing.”
In the verse before this verse, God the Almighty says that He has sent this scourge for people to beseech Him, “We have certainly sent (apostles) to nations before you, then We seized them with stress and distress so that they might entreat (Us).” [Qur’an 6:42] For us common people, this kind of beseeching God is elicited in tribulations. For those who don’t beseech God, even in tribulations, their hearts have truly become hardened as the Qur’an says. But, for people with understanding and the Friends of God, beseeching God is the result of their deep understanding, extreme interest and intense ardor for the high position of being close to God. We should resolve this riddle in our minds once and forever, that is this extent of crying needed when talking to God that the Commander of the Faithful moaned to God like this? What did he really want? What punishment did he fear?!
We should accept that there is a spiritual maturity, which many don’t achieve at all. This spiritual maturity is more than fearing punishment, more than the intensity of suffering that a person will tolerate in Hell, and more than the fear of a sinful person or a criminal of retribution. Some good people feel such a severe need for being close to God that if they see they are far from this intense need, even a bit, they cry to God beseechingly. Was the Commander of the Faithful a weak person for someone to see his crying, broken heart? All his existence was solidity. If the entire universe had turned upside down, he would have stood firmly and wouldn’t have even flinched! He had nothing to be afraid of or to lose.
So, why did he moan to God like this? He had reached a spiritual maturity. He felt a severe need for those high spiritual positions. When he felt a bit far from that desirable point, and that peak became more novel and substantial for him every moment, he would cry pleadingly.

This miracle is for all generations.

Confronting our desires, the best way to strengthen our will

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The Commander of the Faithful, Ali (as), said, “When one’s desires are strong his will is weak.” (Ghurar al-Hikam, vol. 1, p. 588) Someone says, “I have a weak will.” I say, “You follow your desires.” He replies, “I don’t follow my desires! What have I done?” “You don’t need to do anything special. Your desires move you.”
Someone asks me, “I have a weak will. What should I do?” I say, “Your desires are strong.” He says, “I don’t do very bad deeds either.” I say, “There is no need for you to do worthless deeds for your desires to be strengthened. You might be a person who prays, but praying is what you desire. Doing a certain sin may be against your desires, so you don’t commit it. But you still haven’t confronted your desires. You may desire to have a good standing in your neighborhood or in the Mosque. You are willing to harm 100 people in order to protect your good standing. That is why you may backbite in order to protect your good standing. So you follow your desires. You might have just one sin and that is backbiting.”
When a person confronts his desires, his will becomes so strong that he can do amazing things. Let’s talk about Imam Mahdi’s (aj) government. A tradition says, “At the time of the reappearance of the Imam, each believer will have the strength of 40 strong men.” I expected you to call out “Ya Ali” or something like this when I said this! One might say, “I don’t want strength. I want comfort and not power.” But seeking power doesn’t mean trying to dominate over others. It means to become strong!
It is said that a believer is like a firm mountain. There is no difference between men and women in this. A person’s will should be strong. Allameh Tabatabaee said that one should strengthen his will by sitting and focusing on a subject that he likes. Your mind will jump. Bring it back. It’ll jump and you’ll become distracted. Bring it back. Tell yourself, “I want to think about one subject for one hour.”
Have a plan for yourself about the messages you receive. Have a plan and say, “I’ll check my messages once every three hours.” You’ve received shocking news and want to check it now. But tell yourself, “My plan is every three hours.” Don’t worry. Limiting and blaming yourself won’t harm you. Tell yourself, “How dare you! Didn’t I say every three hours?” Be firm. You might think, “But it’s interesting now!” Answer yourself, “Nasty one! I actually want to see what is interesting for me so that I can confront it.” A tradition says, “Your greatest enemy is your own desires.” Make this a part of your lifestyle.
The Commander of the Faithful, Ali (as), said, “When one’s desires are strong his will is weak.” A person’s will becomes so strong when he confronts his desires that he can do amazing things. Strengthen your will.

The way that God suggests for reaching to Him.

Weak, Dependent Children

Don’t cause your children to be weak and dependant with this method of training.

They say that at a certain age, between the ages of five to seven for example, a child understands that his parents aren’t the source of power. They’re not superpowers; so, he looks for power. If a child is trained well, his weakness turns into strength, except before the source of power, Who is God. His dependence turns into independence, except before the source of power, Whom one cannot be independent from, and that source is God.
There is an example I always give, which they taught us in books and in class. For example, if debris falls on a child’s doll, debris that would need ten cranes to remove, the child sincerely asks her father to remove the debris and give her the doll. When the father says, “I can’t,” the child doesn’t believe him, “What do you mean you can’t?!” This is the mental image of a child about his parents. He believes they are superpowers. Gradually, he realizes, “There are some things that mom and dad really can’t do. It looks like they’re not truly superpowers!” The point is that the child becomes distressed.
If this transference of power is done well, which in our analysis happens when praying for a child at the age of seven is emphasized, this is a way of teaching him about the source of power, and the child learns that prayer isn’t for just when you like to pray. Prayer isn’t something at your discretion. You have to pray! No discussion. The child sees that his parents, who are kind in all areas, pray in this way. So, he understands the source of power.
A way to explain it in a bad way is to say the child will understand there is one who is more powerful. He forces his parents too. One of the ways for a child to believe in this divine power is for his parents to tell him, “God has forced us too. We are not in love with God or prayer either. Don’t think that we continuously miss God three times a day. We must stamp our feet like a soldier in front of the Lord of the universe too.” The child will be released from a pressure.
He’ll understand the source of power. Prayer isn’t something at your discretion. You have to pray! No discussion. The child sees that his parents, who are kind in all areas, pray in this way. So, he understands the source of power. What does religion do? Religion has a program for people that takes them to the peak of independence, strength and power. What does God dislike? He dislikes a person depending on other things. If you don’t cause your child to depend on God and pay attention to the source of power, your child will become dependent on worthless things. Your child will become weak and be humiliated. Do you want him to be humiliated?
[From the series of speeches under the topic of “Being Independent, Being Passive.” Muharram 2019.]


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Imam Askari (as) said, “Whoever is humble to his brothers in this world is one of the truthful and a true Shi’a [follower] of Ali bin Abi Talib (as).” Such people are the true Shi’a.
Imam Hasan Askari (as) narrated this story. He wanted to prepare the Shi’a for the occultation. The Shi’a would soon be without an Imam who could be seen. Let’s see his advice. Imam Askari narrated, “Two people – a father and his son – were the Commander of the Faithful’s (as) guests. Imam Ali (as) stood up and had them sit down. He ordered for food to be brought. Qanbar was his servant. After they finished eating, Qanbar brought a dish and a wooden container of water.” In honoring a guest in the past, it was common when they wanted to eat that they would pour water on the guests’ hands, since they ate with their hands.
[The Imam (as) continued,] “When the Commander of the Faithful (as) saw that Qanbar brought water, he got up quickly and took the container. He wanted to pour the water himself instead of Qanbar. The guest knew the Imam’s status. So he threw himself on the ground. He said, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, you want to pour water on my hands? God is watching. Ali (as) pour water on my hands?!’ The Imam (as) replied, ‘Sit down and wash your hands. Yes, the Almighty God is watching you. [What’s wrong with this?] He is watching you and your brother who is not different or superior to you and who is serving you. [What’s wrong with this?]’” They were like this. The Imam of the Imams was like this.
So the man sat down. Then, the Imam wanted to pour water on his hands. This next part is Imam Hasan Askari’s (as) special gift to you from this story. So the Commander of the Faithful (as) wanted to pour water on his guest’s hands for him to wash. The man threw himself on the ground and refused. But the Imam said, “Sit down. I’m gaining rewards. It’s fine.” Before pouring water the Imam (as) said, “By my right on you, which you know…” Know what? “The right of Imamate that you are aware of and because of which you are humble. By my right on you.” O Imam, what do you want to say? “Wash your hands comfortably in the same way as if it’s Qanbar pouring the water. By my right on you. You are humble and know my right. By my right on you, be comfortable. Let me pour water on your hands.”
It seems the guest was shy. He wanted to hold his hands just a little under the water to have obeyed the Imam. But the Imam (as) said, “Think that it is Qanbar who is pouring the water. Sit comfortably and let me pour the water.” Then what did Imam Hasan Askari (as) say? He said, “Whoever follows Ali (as) like this is a true Shi’a.”
O God, grant us the opportunity to serve our brothers in faith.

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Have you looked at Ashura from this angle before?

A cartoonist suddenly changes how you look at a phenomenon. A graphic artist changes your outlook all at once. A painter changes your outlook all at once. A photographer changes your outlook all at once. A filmmaker or a maker of documentaries change it in another way.
Before artists have a talent in expressing something, painting, or drawing, they have a talent in how they choose to look at things. These eulogies that you enjoy give you a way of looking and say, “Look from this angle.” You cry and enjoy it. The readers of eulogies and those who read very nice poems…
Have you seen their way of looking at these scenes? What beautiful ways there are of looking at these things, which haven’t been used yet. We are so dependent upon art to change our outlook and to help us find a correct outlook. It is very important how artists look at tragedies. Beauty is created from this. Actually, what makes an artist powerful in conveying his or her own view to others is his or her outlook. Sometimes that outlook itself makes a person an artist.
How do you look at Hazrat Sakinah (‘a)? Have you seen that some girls are like this that they are very cheerful, articulate, honest and frank, even though the people around them may be bothered by what they say. They are very inquisitive and restless. They can’t stop themselves from saying what they want. They bring cheer to any meeting. At any gathering, without doing anything bad, they make the gathering warmer.
Hazrat Sakinah (‘a) is the one, who called out when Imam Husayn (‘a) was near the Alqamah Stream, “Where is my uncle Abbas?” Hazrat Sakinah (‘a) is the one, who called out, “Come down Dad,” when he wanted to go. I think the older people were biting their lips and thinking, “Sakinah don’t say that and don’t break your father’s heart.” She said directly, “Dad, can you take us to Medina first and then go into the battlefield?”
Sakinah is the one who came to her aunt Zaynab and said, “Auntie, whose body is this that you are talking to?” Sakinah talked with her father in such a way that Husayn’s cut throat began to answer her. This girl can’t be quieted. Sakinah is a busy, cheerful, active girl.
From what time on was there no longer any news from her? She had this vibrancy all along the way. They whipped this girl so much that they made her quiet. The other women would hide this vibrant girl in the beginning so that these dishonourable men wouldn’t notice this vibrant girl. I think she changed when three-year-old Ruqayah left this world from the ruins. Sakinah, who helped with the children very much, wasn’t seen to be cheerful anymore.
How do you look at Hazrat Sakinah? She was the vibrant girl whom they made quiet and depressed. I haven’t given you any new information! But, when you put these next to each other, you say, “Yes, that’s true!”
What an opportunity these artists have! How they can play with people’s way of seeing things. This is their job, if they want to and have the ability. If they have a correct outlook, and then God gives them the talent, they can change your and my outlook.
There are still opportunities for new stories to be told about Karbala. There are still opportunities for new images to be drawn about Karbala.