Muharram [Night 8] - Inter-Gender Values Part II: Emotional Maturity | Sayed Mahdi Qazwini

20 المشاهدات· 24/03/23

Ahlul Bayt Center of Toledo
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أظهر المزيد

Transcript

[0:42]abdullah [Music] we've spent the past couple of nights speaking about core

[1:29]beliefs and how our core beliefs when they are unsupervised can lead

[1:38]us down a path that normally we would not envision for ourselves

[1:47]the quran reminds us in chapter number 17 verse 11 bismillah that

[2:03]man hastily prays for what is harmful through praying for what is

[2:13]beneficial to him and commentators have given a couple of provided a

[2:19]couple of meanings for this they say the first meaning is that

[2:25]we pray for that which is harmful thinking that we are praying

[2:35]for something which is beneficial when we ask allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

[2:40]to make certain things happen in our life or the lives of

[2:46]others that we don't fully understand the picture of what is beneficial

[2:50]for us nor do we understand what truly is harmful for us

[2:55]we seem to only have a pixel whereas god has the entire

[3:05]picture if you look at a high definition photo the higher the

[3:08]definition the more pixels are in that photo so we have just

[3:15]a tiny pixel and god has the entire picture so it's normal

[3:19]for for us to request things which are not in our benefits

[3:24]or things which are harmful for us another interpretation another another yes

[3:33]interpretation of this verse or translation of this verse is that man

[3:39]has the habit or tendency to ask or or to pray bad

[3:48]upon themself so if you've noticed language in certain cultures in certain

[3:57]societies it's normal for people who it's normal for people who don't

[4:01]feel too good about themselves to to ask god to bring misfortune

[4:08]on themselves in the arabic language and the persian language in other

[4:14]languages so going back to that first definition that man seeks what

[4:27]is harmful for himself by praying for things which he thinks are

[4:32]beneficial to himself and from a psychological point of view we find

[4:41]that the mind is constantly looking for short-term solutions and if you

[4:48]think about it most of the time when when it comes to

[4:51]the the solutions to our problems the solutions to our challenges the

[4:55]short-term solutions seem to be the ones that are most harmful for

[5:01]ourselves rather than thinking about a long-term solution so when we're faced

[5:08]with hunger or other physical desires our mind it's easier to go

[5:15]towards the short-term solution than the long-term solution this is why you

[5:23]know fast food companies they they capitalize on this that when we

[5:27]are hungry we are craving something that can be delivered in five

[5:32]minutes or less or ten minutes or less but that's usually not

[5:37]in our best interest to consume that type of food and our

[5:43]mind is in the business of short-term solutions and of instant gratification

[5:49]because our mind developed from an evolutionary standpoint over thousands of years

[5:58]if you go back thousands of years our ancestors lived at a

[6:04]time not of abundance but of scarcity there weren't supermarkets there was

[6:10]no food with preservatives that you can put in the fridge and

[6:12]come back and eat a week later whatever you ate had to

[6:17]be harvested within most likely within that day or within two days

[6:22]so food was scarce this is just one example when we're talking

[6:26]about food food was scarce and so our mind over thousands of

[6:31]years has come to adapt the short-term thinking the short-term solution type

[6:40]thinking the immediate gratification the instant gratification type thinking and we know

[6:49]today that this is a dangerous way of living our lives if

[6:53]we're only going after short-term solutions short-term gratification immediate gratification there was

[7:00]a study done at stanford university many years ago some of you

[7:09]may be familiar with this it's called the marshmallow test and what

[7:14]they did was they took a group of five or six year

[7:19]olds in that age range and they placed them in a room

[7:22]and the examiner would come in and they'd place nothing in that

[7:29]room except for a table and two chairs and they would put

[7:35]one marshmallow in front of the child and the examiner would tell

[7:39]the child that i'm gonna leave this room and i'm gonna come

[7:43]back later you're free to eat this marshmallow right now but if

[7:49]you wait until i come back you'll get a second one and

[7:54]they left now a number of those children they went straight for

[8:01]the marshmallow as soon as the examiner left some of them waited

[8:03]but they couldn't wait too long and they went for it but

[8:07]a good portion of them they waited for that second one and

[8:13]so when they came back they would reward them with the second

[8:18]marshmallow and then they would ask them they said how did you

[8:20]there's nothing else in this room how did you keep yourself distracted

[8:22]so some of the kids said you know we would we would

[8:26]close our eyes like this we wouldn't look at the the marshmallow

[8:30]not to be tempted you know they'd put their heads down on

[8:33]the desk but what's fascinating about this is test is that they

[8:39]followed those children into adulthood and they found a correlation between the

[8:46]ones that went for that immediate gratification instant gratification versus the ones

[8:51]who were patient and waited for the double reward that the ones

[8:58]who waited you can guess how their lives turned out they enjoyed

[9:03]better relationships more stable relationships mentally they were more stable they made

[9:10]more money their careers improved because they practiced delayed gratification rather than

[9:18]instant gratification so when we train our mind to to to practice

[9:28]delayed gratification it shows up in the results in our life the

[9:35]quran reminds us that constantly we are seeking the quick fix that

[9:46]man is ever hasty he wants the thing right now not tomorrow

[9:51]not in an hour he wants it right now if you've ever

[9:54]planted fruits or vegetables in your garden you know that this is

[10:00]a great practice in patience what happens if we were to plant

[10:06]a seed into the soil and then come back the next day

[10:08]and dig it up to see if it's grown and then put

[10:10]it back in and then dig it up again out of immediate

[10:17]gratification it would never grow wakan al-insanu a man is ever hasty

[10:22]seeking for the short-term solutions he wants it right now one narration

[10:27]says that when allah was creating adam he molded him out of

[10:37]clay and then he bestowed him with his spirit and as he

[10:40]bestowed him with his spirit from the feet up his his flesh

[10:45]came to life his body came to life and that the prophet

[10:50]adam peace be upon him was in such a hurry that he

[10:54]he tried to stand up before the process was complete so we

[11:01]have this tendency to be hasty we want things to happen right

[11:08]away so our mind is in the business of immediate gratification it's

[11:15]in the business of instant gratification and when we think in terms

[11:21]of what can i get right now what can i achieve right

[11:29]now we tend to ignore the consequences in life now all of

[11:33]us understand the concept of consequences children grasp this concept from a

[11:40]very young age that every act has a reaction something will happen

[11:45]but most of us we never understand we only look at the

[11:49]first order of consequences we never truly understand the second and third

[11:53]order of consequences what does that mean for every action there is

[11:57]not just a first order of consequences there is a second and

[12:01]a third order of consequences and perhaps beyond that as well if

[12:08]i choose for instance to exercise on a regular basis if i

[12:15]choose to get my my steps in my 10 000 steps as

[12:20]they recommend these days or my 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise the

[12:24]first order of consequence is that i'll be healthier the second order

[12:32]of consequence is what i might also get in shape i start

[12:36]to feel more confident about myself the opposite is also true the

[12:41]first quarter order of consequence of eating a meal which is not

[12:47]particularly healthy is that my brain feels good i have this rush

[12:50]of dopamine from my mind but what's the second and third order

[12:55]of consequence the second order of consequences you start to feel a

[12:57]stomachache you know within a few minutes and the third order of

[13:00]consequences generally you're not making you're not incorporating healthy habits into your

[13:06]life and you're not living a healthy lifestyle but we want things

[13:10]to happen instantly this is this is the the mindset of instant

[13:18]gratification and this applies in all areas of our life including our

[13:21]direction in life our purpose in life what what direction we are

[13:25]headed into what values that we choose to live by imam hussain

[13:32]and his family and his companions they knew what the first order

[13:39]of consequence was with the journey that they undertook they knew that

[13:44]110 people going up against an army of 30 000 people meant

[13:50]obliteration it meant annihilation it wasn't going to end end up you

[13:57]know as a first order of consequence they were not going to

[14:01]be victorious they lost the battle but the second and third order

[14:06]of consequence is that that now their memory is implanted deeply into

[14:11]the hearts of millions of people worldwide for the rest of eternity

[14:16]this is a second order of consequence and a third order of

[14:21]consequence so it's that understanding a hadith in al-qafi narrated from al-imam

[14:27]amir al-mu'min he says how many times do people find themselves in

[14:44]a situation where they are pursuing an hour of pleasure or a

[14:49]moment of pleasure but that moment of pleasure generates a lifetime of

[14:55]regret a lifetime of remorse a lifetime of sadness if you visit

[15:03]the prison systems today you will find people who are incarcerated not

[15:12]because they lived a life an entire life 20 30 40 years

[15:17]of evil some of them they lived decent lives but it was

[15:26]one moment of impulsivity that changed the direction of their life for

[15:32]the rest of their life one moment this is what imam ali

[15:39]alayhi salaam mentions at this hadith what kem so it's important not

[15:46]to just weigh the first order of consequences the second and third

[15:50]order of consequences as well as we begin to grow in our

[15:57]wisdom of the true nature of the consequences of our actions as

[16:01]we begin to to adopt a mindset of delayed gratification rather than

[16:09]instant gratification and impulsivity we grow in our emotional capacity we grow

[16:18]in our emotional maturity and the topic of tonight concerns emotional maturity

[16:23]as it relates to interpersonal and intergender relationships so what does the

[16:33]quran tell us about maturity well if we read chapter 30 verse

[16:42]54 allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says it is god who created you

[16:50]from weakness when we are born we are weak physically we are

[16:56]weak emotionally we are weak intellectually because we are born out of

[17:00]ignorance and not knowing anything we are considered weak and out of

[17:12]weakness emerges strength we begin to ascend to the apex of our

[17:17]life and we find strength physical strength emotional strength intellectual strength then

[17:30]again there is a decline from that apex into weakness it could

[17:38]be physical weakness it's physical weakness sometimes even intellectual weakness sometimes emotional

[17:47]weakness so in the beginning there is weakness there is immaturity then

[18:06]there is a climb to maturity and then that is followed by

[18:13]a dissent another decline the psychologist eric byrne wrote about the psychological

[18:27]and emotional states that we experience as human beings and he divided

[18:33]it into three psychological states he said part of our ego our

[18:38]psych or our psychological state is that we have the child ego

[18:43]we have the parent ego and the adult ego so what are

[18:47]what are these three ego states well the child ego state refers

[18:54]to a record of all of the observations that we made as

[19:00]children the behaviors that we were able to get away with the

[19:06]behaviors that we exercised and we got what we wanted out of

[19:12]life this psychological state is referred to as the child ego then

[19:16]there is the parent ego which is our observations of of how

[19:21]our parents and our elders carried themselves how did they get what

[19:24]they wanted out of life and then the third is the adult

[19:32]ego which is an expression of maturity and what he says is

[19:38]that sometimes even for grown adults the child ego begins to surface

[19:42]meaning that we begin to take on the behaviors that we knew

[19:49]worked for us when we were children so as a child if

[19:53]you got what you wanted by kicking and screaming and making a

[19:58]fuss and throwing a tantrum this may surface later on in life

[20:05]as well and this is why we see fully grown adults sometimes

[20:09]behave like immature children says because the psychological state that they are

[20:15]operating out of is their child ego somewhere in that psychology in

[20:20]that subconscious it's telling them that when you were a child remember

[20:22]you used to kick and scream and you got your way try

[20:26]this behavior and see if it works for you so you see

[20:31]adults sometimes behaving like children kicking and screaming or it says to

[20:36]the person remember how your parents handled the situation you try it

[20:39]this is the parent ego if a person observes how their parents

[20:44]uh dealt with relationship conflict or financial conflict the parent ego state

[20:51]kicks in and says why don't you try that behavior why don't

[20:54]you replicate that behavior and see how it works for you so

[20:58]sometimes our emotional maturity even though our physical maturity is constant we

[21:07]have weakness strength weakness our emotional maturity also fluctuates i remember about

[21:14]a year and a half ago march 12th thursday march 12 2020

[21:21]when the lockdown was announced because of the coronavirus i happened to

[21:29]walk into a grocery store at around maybe 7 or 8 p.m

[21:32]and luckily i had done my shopping about a week before but

[21:36]if you walked into a grocery store those during those days or

[21:40]those weeks you would you'd know what i'm trying to get at

[21:43]here i remember seeing lines and lines of people and thankfully where

[21:50]i was it wasn't too violent but you saw on the news

[21:54]and on the media how people were in despair people were in

[22:00]a craze how some people became violent over the essentials and i

[22:05]remember standing in line and i think i was the only person

[22:10]in that grocery store who just had one item i went in

[22:12]there just to get a gallon of milk that's it everybody had

[22:16]at least one or two full carts at the checkout line and

[22:21]even the gentleman in front of me he was speaking on his

[22:26]phone and he was excited about the dessert that he was going

[22:28]to make that night because he had ingredients and he was telling

[22:31]his wife and i don't know why he was speaking in a

[22:34]loud voice he thought that i maybe i didn't speak arabic but

[22:36]he was saying in arabic you see this guy what's what's wrong

[22:40]with him is he living in a different world but we saw

[22:46]the behaviors that unfolded during those weeks and how people would fight

[22:50]sometimes like children over essentials so maturity emotional maturity fluctuates it goes

[23:00]up and down but if we want long term stable relationships we

[23:07]need to find emotional maturity and yesterday we spoke about the role

[23:13]that purpose plays in intergender relationships tonight the role that emotional maturity

[23:19]plays in intergender and interpersonal relationships so what are those signs what

[23:26]are some of those signs of emotional maturity well when you look

[23:30]at intergender relationships relationships between men and women males and females um

[23:36]emotional maturity looks different in both what is what does that mean

[23:41]if you've ever gotten into a conflict for those of you who

[23:46]are married if you've ever gotten into a conflict with your spouse

[23:49]a verbal conflict and as men sometimes we say things and we

[23:54]forget about it we forget about what we said yesterday but does

[23:59]your does your wife forget she doesn't forget and you're thinking in

[24:06]your mind why doesn't she forget about this thing that i said

[24:09]and she's thinking the exact opposite how can this guy not forget

[24:11]about what he said so sometimes when it comes to the language

[24:16]of conflict and emotion it's as if we are speaking two different

[24:19]languages and it and from it's very insightful from a scientific point

[24:25]of view and a psychological point of view there's a system within

[24:32]us that regulates our fight or flight response we're all familiar with

[24:36]the fight or flight response sometimes we we find ourselves in in

[24:41]immediate conflict and your body kicks in its fight or flight or

[24:47]fight response meaning that either you're going to sit there and you're

[24:50]going to fight or you're going to take off this is the

[24:54]fight or flight response this system uh that manages the fight or

[25:01]flight response is called the autonomic nervous system the ans and the

[25:06]way that the ans operates in males is different in the way

[25:10]that it operates in females that's why we see ourselves speaking different

[25:16]languages so for instance an example of that is that when men

[25:21]get into a conflict and our ans system kicks in when men

[25:26]get into a conflict our bodies biological and this is a biological

[25:31]difference they're able to subside and come back to our baseline quicker

[25:36]than in women so that higher heart rate that you experience when

[25:42]you're in conflict the heavy breathing that you experience it's able to

[25:48]come back to baseline quicker than it is in women now it's

[25:50]not one is better or the other is worse again these are

[25:53]biological functions that developed over thousands of years of evolution but here's

[26:00]the cruel part is that after a conflict if a man cools

[26:05]down quicker than a woman a woman can see him cooling down

[26:10]quicker as a sign of carelessness so she interprets it as carelessness

[26:13]when in reality it's not carelessness this goes to show that our

[26:20]emotional ways of thinking and our emotional ways of behavior are different

[26:25]and allah has created us differently for different purposes different purposes the

[26:41]verse tells us that do not play the comparison game which is

[26:44]better and which is worse each person is created with certain biological

[26:49]functions four to serve a certain purpose and we must appreciate these

[26:54]functions in one another so emotional maturity looks different in different people

[27:01]but what are some signs of emotional maturity when we reach that

[27:05]apex so one sign of emotional maturity and we spoke about this

[27:12]a few nights ago is the ability to calm ourselves when we

[27:14]are angry allah we all grew up hearing the story of imam

[27:34]alayhi salaam how he fought against in battle and how imam ali

[27:43]alayhi salaam was much smaller in size but he had much more

[27:49]fight and courage in him as a man and he went up

[27:54]against this giant of a warrior and struck him down and during

[28:00]those final moments he spits in the face of the imam and

[28:05]the imam is able to control himself he's able to walk away

[28:08]he's able to step away from the situation control himself once he

[28:14]was fully controlled and composed he went back to finish the job

[28:18]so it's important that we're able to calm ourselves when we are

[28:24]angry the way we raise our children some some parents and and

[28:28]if you've noticed this that sometimes the the child is running down

[28:32]is is running around and all of a sudden they trip and

[28:37]fall and the parents they freak out more than the child and

[28:41]what happens it becomes a cycle whereas if you maintain composure not

[28:47]you know completely not care but if you maintain composure you see

[28:52]the difference in your children how they grow and develop emotionally so

[28:58]this is one sign of emotional maturity another sign is being able

[29:03]to accept reality the world that we live in they're very tough

[29:10]realities some of the realities are very very hard to accept we

[29:14]see what goes on in the news today around us in this

[29:18]country and around the world being able to accept reality is a

[29:24]sign of emotional strength another sign of emotional strength is being able

[29:31]to tolerate distress and we spoke about this a few nights ago

[29:35]how stress works in the body and how we understand that if

[29:40]stress can be your friend it's not necessarily an enemy to you

[29:43]it can be beneficial to you that how we begin to tolerate

[29:50]stress and not suffer the adverse consequences of it another sign of

[29:57]emotional strength is being able to keep our commitments the quran says

[30:08]the believers are those that are able to preserve their commitments no

[30:14]matter what this is a sign of emotional maturity and emotional strength

[30:23]is known to have said that if my father's murderer that if

[30:39]my father's murderer was to entrust me with the dagger that he

[30:46]murdered my father with that if he was to entrust me with

[30:54]the dagger that he murdered my father with with i would give

[30:56]it back to him upon request this is the meaning of keeping

[30:59]commitments this is the meaning of keeping trusts the prophet peace be

[31:05]upon him for 40 years of his life before receiving revelation had

[31:10]built up a reputation of truthfulness and trustworthiness and this is where

[31:16]he earned his title assad we know that the prophet kept the

[31:25]trusts of people and that when he left mecca to medina he

[31:33]he he made it he gave that trust to imam ali al-islam

[31:39]he said you wait here in mecca and you give back the

[31:41]people everything that they have entrusted with me and then follow suits

[31:49]so being able to commit keep commitments another is basing decisions on

[31:56]values rather than impulse and we spoke about impulse and what impulse

[31:59]does in our lives and wanting and chasing after instant and immediate

[32:03]gratification a sign of emotional maturity is if we're able to base

[32:11]our decisions off of values rather than off of impulse this is

[32:14]the main difference between man and animal number six and this is

[32:21]another attribute is being able to take care of relationships and not

[32:24]burn bridges even if we have a disagreement with someone it doesn't

[32:31]mean that you have to necessarily burn that bridge so these are

[32:36]just some signs of emotional maturity what are the skills that we

[32:40]need to develop what what skills are required from us to practice

[32:48]these attributes well number one is insight we need insight in our

[32:55]lives and what insight refers to is inquisitiveness sometimes people fight they're

[33:00]in conflict with one another and the emotions get riled up but

[33:03]then if you ask them why are you fighting they have no

[33:07]idea why they're fighting in the first place just like the os

[33:12]and the khazraj when the prophet peace be upon him came to

[33:15]medina he found two tribes that had been fighting each other for

[33:19]almost a century well this happens in interpersonal relationships sometimes a husband

[33:24]and a wife they're fighting over certain things and the reality is

[33:28]they have no idea why what started the fight in the first

[33:30]place or why they're even fighting and sometimes it appears and things

[33:37]that are very trivial that don't make sense in you know things

[33:41]around the house cooking cleaning but in reality there's a much bigger

[33:44]problem underneath the surface and in order for us to understand problems

[33:49]we need insight we need inquisitiveness we need to be able to

[33:55]ask questions there's a principle that says seek first to understand before

[33:59]being understood and most people when they walk into a conflict and

[34:04]a heated situation they want others to understand them before they understand

[34:10]others the principle says no practice the opposite seek first to understand

[34:14]then be understood so this is insight and inquisitiveness number two is

[34:21]emotional nuance what does this mean for many people they if if

[34:30]someone if if they're angry with someone they no longer love them

[34:36]as soon as they're not angry anymore they love that person this

[34:41]is the case for many people if we have emotional nuance we're

[34:48]able to split between the person's actions and how we feel about

[34:52]them so a person with emotional nuance can still be angry with

[34:57]someone but them being angry doesn't mean that they don't love that

[35:00]person anymore so emotional nuance number three the third skill of emotional

[35:08]maturity is resilience we need to be resilient we need to be

[35:14]gritty we need to be tough there was a book written a

[35:16]number of a few years ago actually by angela duckworth a researcher

[35:19]called grit and grit is about the intersection of passion and perseverance

[35:25]and there's it's a fascinating read because it studies around the world

[35:30]how people get through life how different cultures get through life and

[35:38]how to instill the concepts of grit and passion and perseverance into

[35:44]your children the fourth skill is internalization what is internalization when we

[35:54]internalize responsibility some people live their entire lives with a victim mindset

[36:00]and we spoke the other day between the difference between fault and

[36:03]responsibility something doesn't have to be your fault but you can still

[36:12]take responsibility over it take the example of imam hussain everything that

[36:17]happened up until that point from the time the prophet peace be

[36:21]upon him passed away until the time of his brother and his

[36:26]father were the trajectory that the muslim ummah went through the oppression

[36:32]that took place the deviation that took place was it his fault

[36:35]it wasn't his fault but he saw that it was his responsibility

[36:40]to address what took place and this is why he said that

[36:46]i did not stand because of oppression or because of greed or

[36:51]because of any other motive i stood in order to seek isla

[36:58]which is reformation in the nation of my grandfather this is the

[37:03]nation that my grandfather started and it is my responsibility to take

[37:10]care of it to make sure that this religion thrives for generations

[37:16]to come this is what is called internalization when we're able to

[37:21]internalize responsibility unfortunately in today's world we have the victim mindset that

[37:30]has become very popular if you're black you're a victim if you're

[37:35]white you're a victim if you're brown you're a victim if you're

[37:39]muslim you're a victim if you're non-muslim you're a victim if you're

[37:41]democrat you're a victim if you're republican you're a victim everybody's a

[37:45]victim these days it's the victim mentality mentality of shunning responsibility being

[37:56]oppressed you can be oppressed and choose not to be a victim

[38:01]you can be oppressed while being a victor the difference is the

[38:09]internalization of responsibility people who choose to internalize responsibility they can still

[38:14]experience oppression but not victimhood there's a clear difference and the final

[38:23]skill of emotional maturity is self-maintenance we're able to maintain ourselves physically

[38:32]emotionally spiritually we don't need people always encouraging us or motivating us

[38:43]encouragement's good motivation is great but you can maintain yourself and you

[38:47]can push through you can practice self-maintenance there's a lot more to

[38:55]emotional maturity than what we've spoken about tonight i just wanted to

[39:01]speak about a few signs of those and when we when we

[39:06]study the lives of the specifically imam hussein alayhi salam his family

[39:13]and his companions we find people who were responsible who were mature

[39:22]in every single aspect tonight we commemorate the memory of al-qasim the

[39:36]son of the second imam al-imam al-hassan and although he was very

[39:45]young in age but in terms of emotional maturity emotional understanding he

[39:51]was light years ahead of his enemy he was light years ahead

[39:56]of his adversaries the army of um and this was expressed through

[40:03]the conversations that he had with his uncle imam hussain alaihi his

[40:08]willingness to step out into the battlefield we know that based on

[40:15]his age that he was very young [Music] when his father al-imam

[40:22]al-hasan which passed away so how did he grow up how did

[40:29]he grow up and how did his upbringing contribute to his emotional

[40:33]stability and his emotional maturity he grew up in the shadow of

[40:40]his uncle imam hussein these were the men that raised him and

[40:48]molded him who you raise your children around is very important the

[40:57]schools that you send your children to it's very important who are

[41:03]the teachers of your children who are the people that mold the

[41:07]minds of your children one of the best investments you can make

[41:10]financially and time-wise is putting your children in front of people who

[41:20]will build them in a proper way in a moral way in

[41:24]an ethical way people who will influence them positively it's worth the

[41:34]time investments it's worth the financial investments many people ask the question

[41:38]you know should i send my children to an islamic school and

[41:41]whatnot it's worth it it's worth it if you put them around

[41:45]the right crowd if you put them around around the right right

[41:49]people so even though al-qasim al-islam was not raised by his father

[41:55]because his father had passed away however he was raised around his

[41:58]uncle the men of the beta muslim it's because he was raised

[42:02]in this way that he was emotionally mature and on that day

[42:06]the day of ashura that very difficult day when it came time

[42:12]for the family members of imam hussain al-assam to go out into

[42:14]the battlefield one of those who volunteered and it was all through

[42:22]volunteering one of those who volunteered was al-qasim abner this young man

[42:29]came in front of his uncle seeking permission to go out into

[42:34]the battlefield his uncle looked at him he said to him my

[42:42]dear qasim he he says you are the remnant of my brother

[42:49]al-hasan you are the one that reminds us of our brother the

[42:52]one that we lost if you go out into the battlefield who

[42:55]is going to remind us of our brother however al qasim even

[43:01]though he was young in age was very determined again this is

[43:05]this was a sign of his emotional maturity this was his sign

[43:11]of understanding not just the immediate consequences but the long-term consequences this

[43:16]was his sign of foregoing that immediate and instant gratification knowing that

[43:22]there was a better life waiting for him in the afterlife so

[43:26]imam hussain ali salam initially refuses to send him out into the

[43:29]battlefield some reports tell us that at that moment that al-qasim recovered

[43:37]a letter that was written to him by his father and the

[43:41]letter said when he opened it that oh qasim one day you

[43:53]will find yourself in a very difficult situation and if you find

[43:56]yourself in that situation i want you to come to the support

[43:59]of your uncle al-hussein so it is with this letter that he

[44:05]went back to his uncle seeking permission again and this is where

[44:08]his uncle asks him the question he says how do you see

[44:12]death what is death in your eyes what is your understanding of

[44:16]death his reply was he says if it is to support you

[44:23]and in your defense then death is sweeter than honey imam hussain

[44:28]al-islam embraces the young man they begin to weep the narration says

[44:31]they wept until they fell to the ground when they got up

[44:37]it was time for the imam to give him permission to prepare

[44:39]him to send him out into the battlefield before he sent in

[44:47]him to the battlefield he turned to his sister zainab uh my

[44:52]dear sister zaina bring for me the turban of my brother al-hasan

[44:57]they brought for him the turban he placed it on the head

[45:01]of the young man he prepared him with his coat of mail

[45:04]and his sword and he sent him out into the battlefield al

[45:07]qasim was not known to many of the soldiers so he began

[45:12]to introduce himself in tun kironi hassan s if you do not

[45:20]know me then know that i am the son of al-hasan i

[45:23]am the grandson of the trusted one referring to his grandfather and

[45:29]he went out into the battlefield and he fought like the brave

[45:35]men of banu hashem just as he was trained but after a

[45:38]while of fighting out going into the battlefield and fighting and persevering

[45:43]he began to become surrounded by the enemy army at one moment

[45:49]the narrator says that as he was intensely fighting in the battle

[45:54]his sandal the strap of his sandal snapped and it was at

[45:59]that moment that one of the enemy soldiers came and struck him

[46:03]on his head al qasim was struck on the head he began

[46:05]to bleed they began to surround him like vultures the narration says

[46:11]that imam hussain alaihissalam ran out into the battlefield he unsheathed his

[46:17]sword and he killed the soldier that was standing above him at

[46:20]that moment as imam hussain approached him he began to say to

[46:27]him qasim began to call out to his uncle imam hussain said

[46:30]to him my dear qasim you are calling out to me but

[46:42]you are calling out to someone who cannot help you in this

[46:46]state that you're that the enemy of that that the enemy of

[46:57]your enemies will be your grandfather on the day of judgment imam

[47:00]hussain ali salam had no energy to carry the boy back to

[47:05]the camp this is where the men of benu hashim carried al

[47:08]qasim back to the camp he placed him in the tent but

[47:13]he placed him in the tent where ali was laying and he

[47:17]placed himself between he began to weep looking left looking right seeing

[47:24]both foreign

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التالي

Muharram [Night 8] - Inter-Gender Values Part II: Emotional Maturity | Sayed Mahdi Qazwini

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التالي

Muharram [Night 8] - Inter-Gender Values Part II: Emotional Maturity | Sayed Mahdi Qazwini

Transcript

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